On this episode of the podcast, the brother and sister duo of the sit down with their good friend and former co-worker, Bobby Kelly. The boys talk about a variety of topics including Bobby s weight gain, his love of fly fishing, and how much money it takes to be a comedian in the 21st century. They also talk about how much it costs to live in the Philippines and the struggles of being an immigrant in a country where the average salary is less than $1,000 a month. And, of course, they talk about the Joker and his weight gain over the past few years. This episode was brought to you by Anchor.fm and produced by VaynerSpeakers. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Art: Mackenzie Moore Music: Hayden Coplen Editor: Patrick Muldowney Art: Mike Carrier Music: Jeff Perla Editor: Will Witwer Art: Christian Blanchard Music: John Rocha Editor: Mike McLendon Music: Ben Koppel Art: John Chamberlain Music: Bobby Kelly Editor: Matthew Boll Music: Paul Kasinski Thank you for listening and supporting this podcast! Please Rate/subscribe in iTunes and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, review and subscribe on Podchaser, Rate/Shoutout to: Subscribe on PodChronograins, and , and other podcast related to this podcast on social media! & other Podcasts Thanks for listening to this episode, and shout us out on the pod! and shout out to , & in the podcast on Insta and . Love ya! <3 - Thank you so much! - Cheers Cheers, Cheers. - The Cheers! - - CHEERS ~ Cheers & Cheers Cheers - , Cheers!! <________ - Yours Truly, - Jake, Jake, "The Cheer, MURDERER - JUICY & JUYO - EJ & JACOB & JAY & JAMIE ( ) - OJ & GABE - SONGS - CHEERING - MALAYTER & JOSH & RYAN BONUS
00:03:08.000They have to keep their smile on their face.
00:03:10.000When you find out the real statistics of how much people make in certain countries, like I was reading something about how much people, like the average salary of a person lives in Thailand.
00:03:23.000I was on a bus from Indonesia to East Timor crossing the land border, and some guy was talking about how much people make, and I told him, I was like...
00:04:52.000Well, the thing about the rice is, like, I thought that at least when you get the rice, you'd just get the rice off the plant and then you could boil it and eat it.
00:11:21.000It's like, it makes you realize now, it's not just casually drinking, that there's moments where booze really does go well with an experience.
00:11:40.000So, Ari and I have been battling for first place recently until today when Tom Segura snuck in to second place with his 400 plus points today.
00:12:25.000There's a few real sketchy joints that are 24 hours, but if you go in there, you'll get a bunch of creeps that want to gamble with you, and they look like they're cracked out.
00:13:21.000Kind of like people who go tailgating, those kind of tents, and it'll be under that, and you can just pull over and be like, and they'll be like, white guy, for sure, let's play.
00:14:20.000A lot of the stuff they're doing is they're getting down on one knee like a lunge, and they're bouncing a little bit.
00:14:25.000So they're limbering up their body, and then on top of that, they're actually doing this dance in front of all these people, and it calms the nerves a little bit.
00:14:33.000Yeah, John Fitch will always talk about that, about the idea of people watching you is actually a big thing, and the UFC is like a bigger people watching you than anywhere else.
00:17:19.000I was talking to a friend of mine who, I don't want to name his name because he's got a pretty significant injury, and we were talking about his injury, and it's fucking bad, man.
00:17:29.000You know, he needs surgery, and his bone is changing shape because of arthritis that's building up in his joint.
00:17:37.000I'm like, oh, fuck, and he's a young guy.
00:17:40.000It just makes you realize the fucking punishment these guys are putting on their body that's totally below the surface.
00:23:54.000Anyway, the reason I wanted to come on here...
00:23:56.000Talk MMA. Yeah, it's because I've had this unique experience that a lot of people, like I mention it sometimes, and they're like, oh, you've been to a UFC? I'm like, dude, I've been to like 50 of them.
00:28:17.000Did you know Elizabeth Warren released that thing that says she's got actual Native American blood, but it's literally like one 100,000 fucking million trillionth?
00:37:59.000No, no, if you're flexible, that's not a problem at all.
00:38:01.000I think it was kettlebells more than jits that did it to me.
00:38:03.000Yeah, because I remember we were doing some stuff, like you were doing cleans and presses, and I was like, ooh, for a guy who doesn't ever lift weights, this is a pretty explosive movement.
00:38:12.000Yeah, my technique's not perfect, so then it's really opening it up to more damage.
00:38:17.000And it's also, when you get sore from doing something like that, you really should take a long time off.
00:38:23.000The real hard thing for people that are just starting to lift weights is the building process.
00:38:27.000One of the things that we had talked about with this fitness challenge was lifting the most amount of weights and improving your max weight over the month.
00:38:35.000I was like, okay guys, let's slow down here.
00:41:16.000The first marathon commemorated the run of soldier Pheidippides from a battlefield near the town of Marathon, Greece to Athens in 490 BC. According to legend, Pheidippides ran the approximately 25 miles to announce the defeat of the Persians to some anxious Athenians.
00:43:29.000I've seen, the reason I look for that is because I've seen a video from the Olympics, I think it was last year, where they were showing long-distance runners, and all of them had a different stride.
00:43:37.000Some were running ball foot first, some were running heel first.
00:45:39.000Because you're just reaching that area and then pushing.
00:45:42.000But it wears you out more, your muscles, but you're right, the joints are okay.
00:45:46.000We were hiking the Alps this year in July, and man, there's uphills where you really have to push, but the downhills, you're pushing off, and it just hurts more.
00:46:41.000Also, with boots, you want to be able to walk into a creek without having to worry about this is going to soak my socks for the next four hours.
00:46:48.000You want that Gore-Tex lining of your boots.
00:46:50.000By the way, so after that fight, after that me and Duncan kissing, there was a blog that went up pretty fast that said two bored bearded dudes make out of the UFC. And I got a text from a guy.
00:47:22.000Because you're like, you are a CEO. In addition to being this cool, fucking regular dude who curses all the time, you're also a CEO, which is who I don't normally get along with.
00:47:32.000He's the president of a gigantic sports organization.
00:50:11.000But those were fun times too, man, because when we first started going on the road together, one of the more fun things was really fun hanging out and doing shows, but it was also fun saying, you can't get fired.
00:50:26.000Dude, that was such an influential time, my stand-up.
00:50:28.000That specifically, where it was like, we're at the hotel, five-minute walk from Faneuil Hall, and they're like, let's get high.
00:50:35.000And I was like, no, I'm about to perform on stage.
00:51:05.000I also wanted you to feel free in that.
00:51:08.000There's these moments when you get high and you go on stage where, and they don't always happen, but there are moments where you take a right turn into Brilliantville.
00:51:19.000And that right turn doesn't exist sometimes if you're sober.
00:51:23.000If you're sober, you'll stick to the script.
00:51:25.000But if you're high, you're like, so what if I did fuck my dog?
00:51:32.000Out of nowhere, you might come up with this premise or this tagline or this thing that comes from you being in this altered state of consciousness.
00:51:40.000And you can't do it, any comic listening, I would not advise you doing it on a big showcase where you have to show, like, William, Marshall, or when you're taping something where it's important.
00:51:48.000But for workout sets, when really you're just trying to get work out of this.
00:55:54.000Look at this Japanese guy going through his routine and he's like, fuck.
00:55:56.000And I'm pretty sure this was before Krokop really had sort of mastered MMA. He was coming over as a straight kickboxer and they had different rules for him.
00:56:06.000The rules for Krokop were like, you can only fight on the ground for like 30 seconds.
00:56:23.000He had his face reconstructed because his nose, he had been in so many brawls, his nose had completely flattened where he couldn't breathe out of it, and he had so much scar tissue over his eyes that his eyes were drooping down, so he'd get cut instantly.
00:56:36.000Any any punch that would hit him would open him up like a gash and his nose was completely flat So they took a chunk of his rib and rebuilt his nose and he had his nose built big So he could breathe out of it more and then he had all the scar tissue removed from his eyebrows and then pulled back And according to Dana, I don't know but Dana's like he got it's done in Brazil on the cheap And it's just like wasn't the didn't they didn't really make him look like Vanderlei Wow, I
00:57:02.000So he went from Vanderlei Silva, it's like Vanderlei Silva has the most profound facial form change in all of MMA. Because he went from pretty, if you go back, Vanderlei Silva versus, go to Vanderlei Silva versus Dan Henderson 1. When they first fought in Pride, he was a normal, actually pretty good-looking guy.
00:59:32.000And actually that fight, in terms of the audience response, the two biggest ones were Sylvia Couture in Columbus, first time they'd ever been in Columbus, and that Rio fight.
00:59:44.000Jose Aldo versus, that was Chad Mendes, right?
01:04:12.000He was Chuck Liddell's sparring partner and it was one of the rare times that he got to fight in the US. And I remember watching him fight and I would hear about him.
01:04:20.000I think Hackleman told me about him too because he was training with Chuck.
01:04:23.000And I was like, that guy's a motherfucker.
01:04:28.000And he was like, you know, training with Hackleman and training with Chuck Liddell in the early days when, you know, they're just savages, man.
01:04:42.000Babalu had a real good wrestling base, too.
01:04:44.000He probably was the first guy I remember making money by leaving the UFC. He was one of the early guys to like, I'll get paid as a UFC vet.
01:04:52.000I'll get paid a bunch off this fucking Chuck fight.
01:04:55.000I'll get paid a bunch for the rest of my career until everybody started going and then it wasn't worth that much anymore to be a former UFC guy.
01:05:01.000Yeah, that's when Strikeforce opened up.
01:05:02.000A lot of people realized that there was a legitimate venue and they were on Showtime.
01:07:00.000I thought Triple G, well, I thought it was a real close fight, but if I was gonna give it to someone, I think I would've given it to Triple G. But it was close enough where you can go, okay, this isn't a robbery.
01:08:47.000And Kimo was a giant roided up dude and was hitting him with bombs and Hoist was on his back and finally caught him in an arm bar and then couldn't continue.
01:16:53.000Four minutes into the fight, grabs a hold of it, or four rounds into the fight, grabs a hold of it, syncs up the triangle and gets a triangle armbar combination and taps him.
01:18:48.000Well, yeah, he had the back, and he was kind of like riding high on the back, and he felt like he had a grip under the chin.
01:18:57.000I don't know how he held his hands, but what you do is, when you have a guy's back, you hold it like this, and then you go forward, so you take them forward with you.
01:19:53.000Enough times with you that I remember one time I was going into a buffet or whatever or the hotel free breakfast and looking around and just having him go like, Hey, sit with me.
01:20:51.000He was 4-0 maybe or something like that.
01:20:55.000Meeting him, talking about shit, and I could talk about this now because it's no longer a banned substance in the UFC, but talking about weed.
01:23:45.000They just had a massive group of killers.
01:23:49.000they called it the Ring of Fire, where you go five rounds of sparring to get ready for a fight with a different high level, I mean, highest level fighter.
01:24:01.000So like Nate Marquardt, like, cool, that was round one, get out of here, Jardine, you come in.
01:24:05.000And now I just finished a fucking round with Nate Marquardt, now I gotta go with Keith Jardine.
01:24:08.000Cool, round three, Jardine, get out, John Jones, you come in.
01:24:43.000They fought after they had a big falling out because Rashad was upset that, you know, John wound up getting a title shot and beat Shogun because Rashad got injured.
01:24:55.000Rashad was supposed to get the title shot John steps in and they were friends at the time and then somewhere along the line then the trash talk started you know I'll fight Rashad fuck it and then it was like man I thought we were friends and then oh yeah that's back when it was like you know you guys can fight as friends you don't you don't have to like be at enemies everybody fight it's it's a sport and it's a it's a money thing and then when John beat him it was a real drubbing and it was Five rounds was a decision
01:25:25.000and it was a real clear-cut unanimous decision.
01:25:29.000He did some crazy shit to him, like step in, elbow to the face, rocked him.
01:25:34.000Oh yeah, I kind of do remember this one now.
01:25:38.000It wasn't even John, like the John that knocked out DC. I remember him saying in fights that I didn't really ever see this by the fighters.
01:25:45.000Where he would talk about, after wins, talking about the holes, the fuck-ups he had, more than what he did right.
01:25:51.000Whereas most guys would be braggadocious and be like, I loved it.
01:26:01.000I mean, as reckless and chaotic as he is, and I've said this before, that I don't know what causes that kind of recklessness, but there is a direct correlation between traumatic brain injury, brain damage, and impulsive behavior and recklessness.
01:26:42.000You know, those people that engage in any kind of an activity where your brain gets rattled on a regular basis, you are way more likely to do ridiculous things that don't make any sense.
01:28:40.000But this is one of the reasons why I have to be honest all the time, is because people, they respect the fact that I'm not saying things because it sounds cool.
01:28:52.000I'm saying things because this is actually what I see.
01:28:55.000And maybe you have a different perspective, and maybe you could share your perspective with me, and I'll tell you why I thought this, and maybe I'll change my mind.
01:29:01.000And I'm not scared to change my mind, but I've got to say what I think.
01:29:05.000Yeah, and it's cool that the fighters are like, just so you know I wasn't being a pussy.
01:29:08.000I would never think Keith Haring would be a pussy.
01:29:11.000But they care that you know the real truth of it, and not that it was bad, but here's the reason.
01:29:16.000It was interesting how they respect your opinion like that.
01:29:19.000Well, a guy like Brock Lesnar, man, I swear that if Brock Lesnar got into mixed martial arts right out of college, went college wrestler, right into training, really learned striking, and learned slowly, like took some small fights.
01:30:55.000But he was done, as the Brock Lesnar that everybody feared.
01:30:58.000Well, he says that he was compromised even before that.
01:31:02.000He said he was compromised before the Kane fight, and before a lot of his other fights, even the fight with Shane Carwin from diverticulitis.
01:31:09.000He was suffering from it for a long time, and he just thought that he was just exhausted from training, but really, he was having this blockage and all this issue.
01:33:54.000I was paranoid because I gave Tommy Buns a half and we flew to Florida and he told me, he goes, dude, he goes, I swear to God, when we landed, he goes, I didn't think I was going to make it.
01:34:06.000I've had one of those with you before.
01:34:37.000One time me and Nick Youssef were doing a corporate in Vegas and we went to the new Aria and we took edibles and we walked around and I was like, oh, Rogan's too famous in Vegas.
01:37:49.000in that region the planet they found the measurements were indeed similar if LB1 did have Down syndrome then it would explain the short femurs as well hence when calculated statistically for normal growth they would yield a height of just over four feet which matches up with some humans living on Flores Wow hmm this is I think this is probably one of those heavily debated things but You're trying to recreate.
01:38:13.000There's a thing called island dwarfism that happens to mammals, but the opposite takes place with lizards and reptiles.
01:41:47.000They're the only, one of the only two, maybe them and Blue Apron are the only, like, no longer sponsors that I'm like, I'll still rep you guys.
01:41:53.000See, what's going on with you and sponsors?
01:41:55.000Did something happen when you said something crazy about a sponsor and they gave you a hard time?
01:42:15.000I think it was something along the lines of if you're a human resources person and you have to hire, your time can be spent better doing something else.
01:42:25.000You could fucking quickly hire somebody, use ZipGrid, and then spend all your time masturbating in your office.
01:42:29.000You could bring in a Ziploc bag and keep putting used socks in there that you masturbate into.
01:42:34.000I don't know, I'm just going off the top of my head, trying to be funny.
01:43:07.000That one I did with Segura for Saatva Beds, where I was like him getting pegged in the ass by Christina, and he's fucking bleeding out of his ass, but his knees are oh so soft on the Saatva mattress.
01:44:53.000By continuously focusing on free speech, and I'll lose money in some spots, and it makes money in other spots, and this is all just part of it.
01:45:01.000Yeah, you can't really think about it like only looking to make money every time make more, because that universal growth paradigm, that's only for corporations.
01:45:10.000And then I'm going to be doing straight ad reads, and my listeners are going to get bored as fuck, and I'm going to lose listeners, so then I'll be able to make less money off ads in the long run because of that.
01:45:17.000More ads, less money, as opposed to fewer ads, more money.
01:47:22.000So, with Diaz always bringing the breast strips, There'd be this time where it wouldn't kick in, it wouldn't kick in, you'd look over, you're feeling it, you'd be like, ah, maybe, sort of.
01:47:33.000Or one of those Jolly Ranchers that they'd have.
01:47:35.000I remember having a side, I remember eating a Jolly Rancher, like, before the fight started, because I would get in so early with you.
01:47:41.000And just like, just kind of sucking a lot, like this.
01:47:44.000And some other guy, nobody knew me back then, and was like, dude, I think somebody's smoking weed.
01:47:48.000I was like, yeah, might be coming from somewhere, huh?
01:47:50.000You smell the weed from the Jolly Ranchers.
01:52:10.000And he knew that Alex Jones had a big base and Alex Jones would help him get elected.
01:52:14.000You know, Donald Trump was very clever in who he aligns himself with.
01:52:18.000Like, when you see him standing there Listening to Kanye West, where Kanye West is ranting and saying all this crazy fucking schizo nonsense, and he's like this, hmm, that's a smart cookie.
01:52:29.000Like, he's very smart in when he calls bullshit and when he doesn't call bullshit.
01:55:00.000Or is it like NBC? Because if NBC is a private company and Ari Shaffir says, hey, the lizard people are eating kids and that's who runs 60 Minutes.
01:55:10.000And they say, no, no, no, Ari, you're fired.
01:55:12.000Look, Roseanne made one fucking bad ambient joke and they canceled her and they kicked her off of the Roseanne show.
01:55:19.000They were looking to get rid of her for any other reason.
01:55:58.000But she was telling me how they were changing the way they were writing things, and they weren't including her in the process, where she was very much included in the process during the first season.
01:56:07.000When they were writing for the second season, they were basically excluding her from the process of premises and the way they were writing the show.
01:56:14.000I mean, I read all the outrage about early on.
01:56:31.000And she goes, oh, this is the bitch I gotta be fake with at a party and kiss her on the cheek, pretend I'm cool with her.
01:56:35.000And it's like, what is all this outrage over this pro-Trump thing?
01:56:38.000And I finally, I'm like, let me go watch it.
01:56:40.000And my friend, Jewish female leftist Morgan Murphy, who wrote it, I talked to her later about it, but I finally watched it, and it's just 12 characters in the show.
01:56:51.000Ten of them don't talk about who they voted for at all.
01:57:37.000There was some talk, Alex Jones was saying, in one of the last final straws, it was talking about people taking up arms and that people are not going to stand it.
01:57:47.000It's basically rabble-rousing, which is a lot of what people do.
01:57:52.000They're talking about the other side trying to take away your rights, trying to take away your guns.
01:58:03.000I mean, I don't know specifically what he said, but there's a problem that you don't know specifically, right?
01:58:09.000There's a problem that they can just decide that you represent a certain faction of thought, and that this should be eliminated from, you should be de-platformed.
01:58:19.000De-platformed for a conspiracy guy, and people are going up to those parents and saying, like, your kid's not dead.
01:58:42.000So, like, I don't see how you de-platford.
01:58:45.000The only great article I've read was by a trans woman who said, when I hear crazy shit like that, I feel like you're supposed to roll your eyes and then walk away.
01:58:52.000You don't say, hey, you need to get gone.
02:00:05.000I mean, I really am like, I don't, I think people are forgetting how the ACLU defended the Klan members.
02:00:11.000Because the free speech is too big a fucking issue to worry about how I feel about what they're saying.
02:00:19.000Well, you know what's really interesting is that left-leaning people, the leftists are the ones that want to censor and de-platform and silence people on the right.
02:01:15.000But I get why then you get a Reddit situation where it's like, okay, but suddenly it devolved into just child porn.
02:01:22.000Well, Reddit, the problem with Reddit is anonymity.
02:01:25.000When you give people anonymity, and one guy actually lost his job because of it, because somebody decided, hey, this guy's such a fucking creep piece of shit.
02:01:40.000He was like some regular guy with a job.
02:01:41.000And they got him fired, and, you know, he had a bunch of weird, you know, I saw Holtzman as people running out of the room yesterday or two days ago.
02:01:59.000He got a full room randomly at the end of the night.
02:02:02.000Yeah, he spent his first three minutes like, there's too many people.
02:02:54.000But this is a problem in that there's no balance, right?
02:03:00.000If people are just right-leaning and people want to de-platform them because they have right-leaning beliefs, right-leaning ideas, like say if they support President Trump.
02:03:12.000Whether you like it or not, that guy's the president.
02:03:17.000And whether you like his policies or not, they are his policies.
02:03:20.000He's the president of the United States.
02:03:22.000And if someone supports that, deplatforming people who support him or support that is not the right response.
02:03:28.000The right response is a well-worded argument that is against that, that is convincingly articulate to the point where you make an argument that this is a terrible policy, a terrible idea, and an objective fence that is convincingly articulate to the point where you make an argument that this is a terrible policy, a terrible idea, "Okay, this guy's got a good point on the left." I want to hear both sides, but I need to hear that side in order to hear the alternative side.
02:03:56.000Like Dave Smith, who hates all politicians pretty much.
02:03:58.000He's pointing out these like separating their kids from their parents thing.
02:04:01.000And he's like, it's gotten real bad with Trump now.
02:04:25.000And it's also, there's no money in it.
02:04:27.000The problem is nobody wants to buy newspapers, nobody wants to buy magazines, and it's really hard for online journalism to not resort to clickbait.
02:05:39.000They de-platformed him because these women or people, I don't really know who they were, at The Tonight Show had their opportunity to fall on their sword.
02:05:45.000And they go, now we get to stand up for women's rights.
02:07:23.000And in finding and establishing a target, you clearly establish that you're better and more virtuous than that person because you find offense in something that they do.
02:07:31.000They're not progressive enough and they're a part of the problem.
02:07:34.000And so you cast them out or you shut them down or you de-platform them.
02:08:56.000But people who, if you say, if you own that company and you were one of the people that was responsible for trying to sell ads for Twitter or for whatever, I don't think Twitter has ads, but if you had, like, established guidelines of what you could and couldn't say, One of those things would probably be no hate speech, no racism, no this, no that, but you can't promote false conspiracy theories that hurt other people, right?
02:09:44.000It says, They said one thing that weighed very heavily on them was the way that Jones conducted himself outside of a congressional hearing where Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey was testifying about the way the company moderates content online.
02:09:58.000Jones essentially went after Republican Senator Marco Rubio, interrupted one of his press conferences.
02:10:04.000He yelled at Dorsey at one point as he was trying to leave the building.
02:10:08.000And then he live-streamed the incident where he was attacking a CNN reporter, hurling verbal insults at him.
02:10:14.000The video was broadcast on Periscope, which is the live streaming site owned by Twitter.
02:10:20.000And so in the minds of the company, it essentially was too much.
02:10:23.000He had gone too far, and so they kicked him off the site.
02:10:26.000Yeah, I mean, I guess if you're talking about your right, it's like, sure, I guess it's their right, but I disagree with them doing it.
02:10:31.000I would like a world where you're like, we don't...
02:10:34.000Unless it's physical harm to someone, possibly monetary, like direct monetary harm, like I'm stealing from you, infringes on your rights, then do what you want.
02:11:29.000But I also agree that if you're NBC or ABC or CBS and someone says things that you feel violate your company's policies, right?
02:11:40.000So if someone promotes some outlandish conspiracy theory about children that get shot in Parkland, really never died, and their parents are all crisis actors paid by the CIA, it's a PSYOP, And, you know, this person is on CBS. Okay.
02:11:59.000So is Twitter like CBS? Because they're both private companies.
02:12:04.000And are the people who are on broadcasting on Periscope and on YouTube, are they essentially someone who is – I mean, are you working with or for YouTube if you're broadcasting on YouTube?
02:12:43.000So you don't think you should be allowed, if you're YouTube, you don't think you should be allowed to tell someone, hey, you say a bunch of shit that's not true and it hurts people.
02:12:52.000Well, okay, if your children were murdered, and there's some guy screaming on YouTube that you're a crisis actor, and nothing ever happened to your kid, and your kids, it's a lie, and there's rubber kids on the ground with fake blood, and they can prove it with a hologram, you shouldn't be able to remove them from your platform?
02:20:01.000And the full artist, it's just, it's almost an impossible 100% ideal.
02:20:06.000But if you can only aim for that, If a sponsor says we need you to fucking tone it down, to realize like, oh fuck, I just gave up another four grand.
02:20:31.000So it freed me in terms of being able to think that way.
02:20:34.000It was really, really informative to me.
02:20:37.000But if I just heard these people going, fuck her, she's a socialist, and then you read it like, oh, I'm not getting what you're saying out of this.
02:20:45.000So the people who just go, fuck you, 4chan is hate mongers, you're not even listening to what they're actually doing.
02:20:51.000Well, as soon as you eliminate nuance and you have reductionist ideology, you just want to reduce something to, oh, he's racist, oh, he's hateful, oh, he's this, he's that.
02:21:03.000Because you eliminate what it is to be a human.
02:21:07.000What it is to be a human is to be constantly conflicted, to deal with a bunch of different contrary ideas bouncing around your head, left and right, all the time.
02:21:17.000If you want to eliminate the ability to talk to people that you don't agree with, boy, you're living in a fucking bizarre bubble because you're not going to agree with yourself five years from now, most likely.
02:21:29.000I mean, if I had an argument today with myself 15 years ago, I'd be like, man, you're a fucking dumbass.
02:22:43.000Or you're going to take away a woman's right to have an abortion, and then she's going to have to carry a bunch of kids from people that raped her.
02:22:48.000I mean, this is the worst case scenario in extremes on both ends.
02:24:02.000The idea that there's only a certain limited amount of good ideas that come mostly from white people is ridiculous.
02:24:10.000So there's plenty of ideas that will come from Asians and plenty of ideas that come from all sorts of different ethnicities that are also excellent.
02:24:29.000Collette said that what they're doing in the business world is they're taking what their industry is, the number of, let's say men and women only, black and white and Latino or whatever, just men and women.
02:24:39.000They're taking the number of people in that industry and in order to correct an overuse of males, let's say, or the other way, overuse of females in autistic training.
02:24:49.000But let's just say in the business world, it's 70-30, making that up.
02:24:55.000So what you do is, they force you, instead of what California does, like you must put a woman on your board, which means like, okay, we have three board members, one left, and we have to hire a woman now.
02:25:05.000Wait, Bill Gates just became available.
02:25:36.000But if it's still Bill Gates, you probably didn't get the job over him.
02:25:39.000He's got his fucking, he's got his resume.
02:25:41.000Well, that's where Jordan Peterson comes in with this equality of outcome argument.
02:25:47.000And the equality of outcome argument is a dangerous argument.
02:25:49.000If you guarantee equality of outcome, you guarantee that women are going to make exactly the same amount as men, and so even if the man works harder, the women are still going to make the same amount of money.
02:26:43.000What we really want is this is never an issue at all.
02:26:45.000You're only getting people that are great at it.
02:26:47.000And that way, if racism was not an issue at all, if there was no racism whatsoever, what you would say is, oh, look, it seems like Asian people gravitate towards this.
02:26:57.000It seems like people of this color or this culture rather gravitate towards this activity.
02:27:23.000But if it was a CEO of large financial institutions, you would say this is ridiculous that it's all this and not that.
02:27:29.000Ideally, it would be a fascinating social experiment or a social observation to find out what genders, what sexual orientation, what race, what ethnicities gravitate towards specific jobs Those jobs didn't have a hierarchy of desire right if there wasn't some jobs that are far more desirable Yeah,
02:27:54.000I mean one of the arguments I had really early on in Hollywood was with this guy who was a really nice guy, but he was Asian and He was saying there's no fucking roles for Asian actors.
02:28:05.000This is bullshit and I was like, okay Why don't you make roles?
02:28:49.000And, you know, he was really adamant that Hollywood is racist, they're not hiring Asians to be leading men, and Asians, I'm like, okay.
02:28:57.000I see how it would be frustrating for you as an actor, but if you're a screenwriter and you're a guy who writes a story about a white guy who moves into a haunted house and he falls in love with this woman and they buy a house together and the house winds up being haunted and there's monsters...
02:29:13.000You're saying, should someone have to change that to an Asian guy so that you get a job?
02:29:19.000Yeah, it's also simplistic because it's not hearing the other argument.
02:29:23.000It's like, okay, sure, that guy could be anybody.
02:30:17.000Well, this is the main problem with conspiracy theory, is that everyone's working together.
02:30:21.000They think that everyone's working together as a part of some grand thing to keep the knowledge that the world's flat away from the general public.
02:30:30.000But that comes from a lack of understanding of how human beings interact with each other and about how magnificent a discovery so gigantic would be to the one person that exposed it.
02:30:41.000That that person's gonna keep their mouth shut?
02:30:46.000I will say with that in mind, there is a thing that when you interview a white lady or a black dude for a job, a lot of times your predispositions towards those races or genders go in and go like, I don't respect you as much as your mind is there.
02:31:01.000I kind of like disrespect you a little.
02:31:03.000I don't think you have the brain that someone who looks different has.
02:31:08.000So now you're like not letting them get the part or get the job they would have gotten Not the part.
02:32:04.000Like, every other book is about Maine.
02:32:06.000You can't tell him he can't write a book about Maine because people from Kenosha, Wisconsin, are upset and they think that you're, you know, you're a locationist.
02:32:15.000But I do like what they do in the UK in their, like, the first year of Black Mirror, which is UK-based.
02:33:25.000But that's someone who's so upset by this whole idea of diversity and enforced diversity that they're looking for it even when it's not relevant because the actual work itself is so good.
02:33:37.000So, like, you shouldn't say the new Ghostbusters sucked because it was all women.
02:33:40.000You should say the new Ghostbusters sucked because no one was calling for a remake of it.
02:33:55.000Like, maybe it doesn't work because it wasn't written well and because they didn't really pull it off, but you're telling me you couldn't have some badass chick like Sigourney Weaver when she was in Aliens who dominated the film and nobody gave a fuck that she was the lead.
02:36:11.000And it's really like, dude, that guy kills 19 times out of 20, and you kill 2 out of 20. Like, can you possibly say it could be based on that?
02:36:19.000But it's the people that are complaining are almost never doing well anyway.
02:38:08.000People who line up for open mics, there's a giant percentage of them that are out of their fucking mind.
02:38:14.000So if you're some girl who already feels vulnerable around men to begin with because you're smaller and you're a target for sexual harassment.
02:39:19.000We're programmed to think that women who are nice to us, if that woman is attractive, she must be sending us signals she wants sexual attention.
02:39:26.000It can't just be some completely plutonic workplace situation.
02:39:30.000That's not possible because eight hours a day when you're working with someone, you develop feelings and thoughts and ideas about that person.
02:39:37.000I realized that when we were doing the Nasty Show in Montreal, and there's all these young interns, some of them women, and young people are cuter than old people.
02:40:38.000And that must be what it's like if you're the manager of an office and there's a cute woman who works for you and a guy who's fat and gross.
02:40:47.000And they're both exhibiting the exact same friendly behavior towards you.
02:40:50.000You don't assume the fat guy wants to suck your dick.
02:43:16.000I don't know how to correct it, but like...
02:43:18.000We were lucky we don't have to work with people all day, man.
02:43:21.000People in a fucking office environment that are working around people all day and people have some weird shit and then you go to the company Christmas party and some guy who works with your wife says some creepy shit to you because you know he's been...
02:43:36.000Like, he's been coveting your wife behind your back, and he wants her, and he talks shit about you to her, and she tells you, and that kind of shit is so normal, man.
02:43:47.000Because you think about how many hours are in a day.
02:45:05.000And everyone else, even the guy's like, dude, no.
02:45:07.000Dude, I couldn't imagine being a man rather the opposite.
02:45:11.000I couldn't imagine being a woman working for a man who wanted to fuck me and me getting a raise, me getting some sort of upward movement in my career is dependent upon this person making a decision and this person's always trying to fuck me.
02:46:28.000Everybody is impossible for them to have a regular job.
02:46:32.000Every single one of us that's successful as a comic, it's virtually impossible for any of us to have ever existed in an office environment and survived.
02:49:09.000It's like, alright, well then we can't help you or hurt you if you need to shut up.
02:49:12.000Wow, those people are just, there's fringe, there's loud fringe people.
02:49:15.000Like, you know, that's one of my favorite tweets that I saved from this feminist woman that said, all white males are trash unless proven otherwise.
02:49:39.000Well, it's also like the answer to, I don't know, white dudes have been in charge forever, is not, fuck these people over who I wasn't here for forever.
02:49:47.000White people just need to stop talking.
02:50:57.000We need to make it somewhere where you can actually trust the police to represent you all and not have a fear of them.
02:51:02.000That's not a slogan you can throw out.
02:51:04.000But if you said that, then nobody's going to be like, You should have to worry about cops.
02:51:09.000We were just like, yeah, I'll get behind that.
02:51:11.000This is a super deep and complex conversation about systemic racism in communities where, like in Baltimore, where they literally established zones where black people couldn't buy homes.
02:51:20.000Yeah, and now you're going to sum it up into three words?
02:51:23.000Giant cultural issues that should be addressed on literally a nationwide scale.
02:51:31.000We're interested in building nations and helping people in Afghanistan and giving aid to Saudi Arabia and all these different – fill in the blank with whatever country it is.
02:51:41.000How the fuck are they not fixing the south side of Chicago?
02:52:11.000But if we want to look at things objectively, that is a real valid...
02:52:17.000It's a real argument, a real valid point of discussion.
02:52:19.000It's like, sure, black lives matter, but you know what else matters?
02:52:23.000Really bad communities that have been bad for decade after decade after decade, and they're not being addressed by any politicians, they're not being addressed by any community leaders.
02:52:32.000No one is stepping in and saying, hey, before we do anything involving any other country, We've got to fix all the problems we have right here, and they can be fixed.
02:52:42.000They can be fixed, and it might take decades.
02:52:56.000It's just going to have to swing a little too far and then come back.
02:52:59.000When we're talking about Me Too and sexual harassment and rape and all this stuff, I think one of the things that we're dealing with is information.
02:53:07.000Distribution of information is occurring at a rate that's unprecedented.
02:53:13.000And I think there's a real step that's going to happen with human beings where you're going to be able to Literally read minds and this is going to happen through some sort of a merging with humans and technology Elon Musk believes it's going to be this thing that he's releasing something in the next few months called neural link and this neural link is going to somehow or another Increase the bandwidth between people and information at a rate that's gonna literally change
02:53:43.000what a human being is and The way he was explaining it was very vague, but you know when you're talking about a guy like Elon Musk and the Insane ideas that he has bouncing around inside his fucking robot brain.
02:53:55.000Yeah, I believe him and I believe this is one step just like no one could have ever predicted the internet in 19, you know 60 and No one ever would have thought, other than, I think, Malcolm McLuhan had some ideas.
02:54:11.000Some people had some ideas of what could possibly happen.
02:54:17.000No one, no average person saw this coming and I think no average person is going to see these next stages of Integration between human beings and technology and one of them is going to be some sort of a Translation device some sort of a translation device that translates not just languages but thoughts and a universal language that is It defies economic boundaries,
02:54:46.000political boundaries, geographic boundaries, something that everyone's going to be able to understand.
02:54:50.000The real problem with the Tower of Babel argument is that if someone's talking in Bangladesh, and someone's talking in Japan, and someone's talking in America, there's so many different ways of saying things, it's too hard to understand them all.
02:55:08.000When they translated the stranger, the first sentence is, and it's in French, I think, but it's, mother died yesterday, or was it the day before?
02:55:33.000And I think this is one of the giant problems with whenever you're dealing with nationalism, whenever you're dealing with this idea of the other, that someone from another place is different than you.
02:55:46.000Kids in Yemen's lives don't matter nearly as much as, I don't know, someone not getting hired for late night TV. Sure.
02:55:53.000Kids in Yemen is a perfect example because they're using drones to launch missiles into a country that we're not even supposed to be at war with.
02:56:03.000A six-year-old little girl is dead times a thousand, but if one died, why is that okay?
02:56:12.000It's not happening in Chicago or San Francisco.
02:56:15.000There's no drones launching into the East Village.
02:56:18.000So because that's not happening, we don't think of it as a concern of ours.
02:56:23.000And I think these hurdles These are informational hurdles as much as they're geographical hurdles and they're language hurdles and these are hurdles of understanding.
02:56:36.000And I think as our realm of understanding expands and we get a better understanding of the idea that we really are just human beings in different places and that you are no different than me and I'm no different from some kid who lives in China and that we're all just human beings.
02:56:52.000And whatever our differences are, they pale in comparison to our similarities.
02:56:56.000And also the random chance that you were born in Maryland and I was born in New Jersey.
02:57:51.000And Bill Maher and Sam Harris were actually talking about this on a podcast recently.
02:57:56.000Because they were talking about the 10th anniversary of Religious, Bill Maher's documentary, and they made a really good point that Google came along, and when Google came along, people were allowed to then research the history of Mormonism, where they never really could before.
02:58:20.000And then Scientology and many of the chapters in the Bible when people look at the difference between the New Testament and the Old Testament and who wrote it and why and how many passages were removed and edited by human beings.
02:58:36.000You decide the work of God, like what gets to be released and what's not.
02:59:37.000You know, I can put myself in the place I was or, you know, imagine something pretty good.
02:59:42.000And so it's like, yeah, if it was your sister, your mom, your girlfriend, your wife, daughter going through it, you'd be like, I'll fucking kill that guy, you know?
03:01:16.000- You're sexually deviant? - You hang out with two girls who are talking dirty for two days, you go on drinks with them, you start getting the idea, it's like, I think I can hook up, I think I might have a threesome.
03:01:25.000And they're like, that's not enough reason to go for it.
03:01:27.000It's like, yeah, you're right, I need more signs.
03:01:28.000They're like, well let me say you wanna go out for drinks.
03:01:30.000And they do, and it's like, still, no, it's not enough of a sign.
03:01:53.000So no, not Creeper, but he represents things to people, just like Roseanne represented Trump when she said she has a character who voted for Trump in the show.
03:02:02.000So because they're representative of evil against women, they go, just get rid of that representative.
03:02:07.000And they're not seeing him as a human being that people actually know, that is a human, that is a person.
03:02:13.000Not only that, if someone says yes, If you ask, can I beat off in front of you, and they say yes.
03:02:20.000And then never say, no, no, I was just kidding.
03:02:40.000Like, okay, here's one thing, is if this is an aggressive, angry person who traps you in a room, you feel like the only way you can get out, the only way you can get out of this room is you let this guy beat off in front of you, and you're fearful of your life.
03:04:35.000He can work at another job because it has nothing—you haven't shown me a connection to another job.
03:04:40.000See, the thing about the joke-stealing thing—and this is where it gets really, really weird—is there's no real punishment other than people deciding they don't like you because you're a joke thief.
03:08:51.000You helped me organize it a little bit, or arrange it in my head, where I was really stoked on the experience that LA people have with medical marijuana.
03:09:00.000And I said, it's not fair that other people don't get to have this experience of taking these breath strips at a UFC and how great it is.
03:09:08.000And I was like, I'm going to have an event called Hunt for the Edible.
03:13:44.000I think, honestly, when we did, like, The Pearl or something, Court McCown would be like, hey, if you want to come in and do a set, you can.
03:17:34.000He's older than me, and I respect him, and I'm not a mentor to him, but I am someone who was more advanced in comedy, but was a giant fan of Joey Diaz.
03:17:46.000So I was like, I just want to figure out a way where it can work for this guy.
03:17:50.000Because I know if this guy's just out there hustling and being crazy and doing coke, it's going to go off the rails.
03:20:08.000When you look back, if we look back as, you know, senior citizens at the fucking, the rare great times that we had consistently all across the country...
03:20:21.000For me, onstage, I was getting more stage time than I would get in LA, and I was getting this weird exposure to an actual good crowd where I could experiment with pausing.
03:20:30.000I wouldn't be afraid of losing a crowd.
03:20:32.000Packed shows, you're doing a half hour consistently, two shows a night.
03:21:19.000I mean, look how all the people that went with us, whether it's Diaz or Duncan or you or Segura, they're murdering now all over the country.