The Joe Rogan Experience - November 23, 2010


JRE MMA Show #56 with Brendan Schaub


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 57 minutes

Words per Minute

197.04102

Word Count

23,218

Sentence Count

2,841

Misogynist Sentences

60

Hate Speech Sentences

42


Summary

This week, the boys talk about ads on the internet, the new Ford GT500, and the weirdest thing that pops up when you look at ads on your phone. Also, the guys talk about why they hate America and why they don t want to get a car like the Ford GT350 or R/C. They also talk about the new Tesla Model Y, and why Ford should get a GT500 instead of a GT350. Also, they talk about how they're going to fix the problem with Ford's new GT500 and how they should make it a manual or automatic car. The guys also discuss how they feel about Ford's decision to make the GT500 only in automatic, and what they would like to see the company do with it. Shout out to the guys at Plasticell for sponsoring the podcast this week. We hope you guys enjoy the episode, and stay tuned for more episodes in the future. XOXO, The Guys. -Jon Sorrentino and the Crew Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Art by Skynet. We are working on transcribing this episode of the podcast and putting it on SoundCloud and other platforms. Please rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts. If you like what you hear, tag us on Anchor.fm and tag us in the pod and we'll be sure to send us your thoughts on the next episode! and on Insta: if you like the pod? . Thanks for listening and review us on Instafoods and your thoughts about the podcast or any other podcast you re listening to the podcast you like it :) Thank you for supporting the pod :) -Jon and the crew at in the podcast. Jon is looking out for the best podc & the crew is looking for a new episode in the next week's episode and we appreciate the support we can give us a shoutout! and we re looking forward to the next one! -Tune in next week for the new episode of The Boys are looking out on the podcast next week! Jon and the boys are looking over our next episode can't wait to hear back from you guys! --Jon & the Crew at The Boys -The Crew


Transcript

00:00:02.000 I got nothing to hide.
00:00:06.000 Yee-haw!
00:00:07.000 And we're live, ladies and gentlemen, so I get a message.
00:00:09.000 Just like that?
00:00:10.000 Just like that, bitches.
00:00:12.000 I get a message from a friend of mine who says that while he was listening to the show, we were talking about something, and then the ads for that thing started showing up.
00:00:26.000 Yeah, it's Fong from PlastiCell.
00:00:29.000 He said, you guys were talking about slouching with Theo Vaughn today, and this popped up on his feed just now.
00:00:35.000 I never Googled it before, and it's some fucking alarm that goes off, like when you slouch for it.
00:00:40.000 Have you seen those things?
00:00:41.000 You glue them on you?
00:00:41.000 I've been getting an ad for that, too.
00:00:43.000 Oh, you have?
00:00:44.000 So maybe you think it was random?
00:00:45.000 It could be that, or it could be targeting Joe Rogan listeners.
00:00:48.000 Yeah, which is what they do.
00:00:50.000 It's the way it works.
00:00:51.000 So they found out that we were listening?
00:00:53.000 No, they could just be going.
00:00:54.000 I mean, maybe that, but there's a large audience here, so they could just be going after.
00:00:58.000 Right, but do you think, like what Adam Green, she said the other day, that he was talking about Toyota trucks, and then all of a sudden his Google ads started showing up Toyota Tacomas.
00:01:10.000 And he's like, dude, he goes, they're listening.
00:01:12.000 The robots are listening.
00:01:13.000 Someone's listening, but they're also looking for key terms and stuff like that.
00:01:17.000 But they're listening to your phone as you're having a conversation.
00:01:20.000 You think?
00:01:21.000 Yes.
00:01:23.000 I have a few instances.
00:01:24.000 I took screenshots because it happened three consecutive weeks.
00:01:28.000 I touched something.
00:01:29.000 I literally held the object in my hand.
00:01:31.000 And within 12 hours I was getting an ad for it.
00:01:34.000 Maybe your magic, bro.
00:01:35.000 It's very strange.
00:01:36.000 One of them I have a little explanation.
00:01:38.000 The other two are so weird.
00:01:40.000 It's like, how the fuck am I getting an ad for this thing now?
00:01:42.000 I've never even seen this.
00:01:44.000 I've never talked about it to anybody.
00:01:45.000 I didn't tell anybody I was holding it.
00:01:46.000 Yeah, you gotta always be careful of like...
00:01:50.000 This idea, you know, because sometimes things are just a coincidence.
00:01:55.000 And this idea that there's some grand conspiracy when it could be easily explained by coincidence.
00:02:00.000 But the thing that Adam said, he said, he goes, mate, I never fucking Googled Toyota trucks.
00:02:06.000 Is that a good...
00:02:06.000 That's pretty good.
00:02:07.000 Not really.
00:02:08.000 Not bad.
00:02:08.000 Not that good.
00:02:09.000 A little British.
00:02:10.000 Hey, mate.
00:02:11.000 But he was saying that they started popping up right after the podcast.
00:02:16.000 Immediately.
00:02:17.000 Immediately.
00:02:17.000 So if that's the case, they had to be listening to his podcast.
00:02:20.000 Or they're listening.
00:02:21.000 One of them's listening because you have a large audience.
00:02:24.000 Someone from there is listening to it live.
00:02:26.000 Right.
00:02:26.000 And then they're just like, dude, they launched those ads.
00:02:30.000 Yeah, but how does it get on his Google feed?
00:02:35.000 Yeah.
00:02:36.000 You think they would spoil more fucking crime and stuff if they're listening to everything?
00:02:40.000 Nah.
00:02:40.000 You don't make money spoiling crime, bro.
00:02:42.000 Aw, come on, man.
00:02:43.000 You make money selling trucks.
00:02:47.000 I don't know.
00:02:48.000 I mean, I feel like, for sure, when I Google something, it starts popping up.
00:02:52.000 We know that.
00:02:53.000 But that seems normal.
00:02:54.000 Oh, dude.
00:02:55.000 If you go on my phone right now, because I've been looking at Dodge Vipers, anything I click on, Dodge Vipers pop up.
00:03:00.000 Even on ads on Instagram.
00:03:01.000 Really?
00:03:02.000 Yeah.
00:03:02.000 They're just trying to get you.
00:03:04.000 Or like when I look at houses.
00:03:07.000 Certain markets pop up.
00:03:09.000 It's weird.
00:03:10.000 They know.
00:03:10.000 This motherfucker's looking to spend some money.
00:03:13.000 Speaking of spending some money, Ford, why do you hate America?
00:03:17.000 They released the new GT500 only in automatic.
00:03:20.000 Oh my god, what a shame.
00:03:23.000 What a shame.
00:03:24.000 Is it only automatic?
00:03:25.000 Only automatic.
00:03:26.000 I didn't know that I posted on my story because some dude was like, Shob, when you get one of these?
00:03:30.000 And I was like, god, that thing is dope.
00:03:31.000 And I posted with like a thinking face.
00:03:33.000 Now that's automatic.
00:03:35.000 Ain't happening.
00:03:36.000 People go, well, you have a PDK GT3 RS. It's different.
00:03:40.000 Well, it's also that's the only way they make it.
00:03:43.000 It's the only way they make the GT3 RS. The RS, yeah.
00:03:45.000 I mean, you could get a GT3 or an R. I get it.
00:03:50.000 People don't want to shift.
00:03:51.000 They get stuck in traffic.
00:03:53.000 I get it.
00:03:53.000 But there's a lot of other cars you can get.
00:03:55.000 The GT500, it used to only be stick, like the GT350. Yeah.
00:04:01.000 Well, you know why they're doing it, because they want to compete with everyone, because on the track, the PDKs beat the best racers in the world.
00:04:07.000 Like, my brother's telling me about this article he was reading, where, I think it was the new GT3 RS, and...
00:04:16.000 Or maybe it was the new GT3, because there's one in PDK, there's one in stick.
00:04:19.000 They had one of the best race car drivers in the world driving the stick shift.
00:04:23.000 Then they had some average dumbass driving the PDK, and they were going around the track, and the PDK smoked this dude.
00:04:30.000 The guy with the stick shift smoked him.
00:04:32.000 Yeah, but what are you trying to do?
00:04:34.000 If you're just trying to buy a car for the track, I get it.
00:04:36.000 But how many people are buying a car for the track?
00:04:39.000 You're looking at them, bro.
00:04:40.000 I race on the track.
00:04:41.000 No, I don't.
00:04:42.000 I have no idea.
00:04:42.000 I don't give a shit.
00:04:44.000 I just like the feeling, and it's kind of lame because I have that slingshot, the polar slingshot, and that stick shift, and that's like a tricky stick shift.
00:04:54.000 Well, that's that little tiny cage with wheels.
00:04:57.000 Dangerous.
00:04:57.000 Dangerous as shit.
00:04:58.000 But because it's a stick shift, I like not being able to pay attention to my phone.
00:05:02.000 I like having to worry about all the cars around me.
00:05:05.000 I like that feeling.
00:05:06.000 I like the feeling of the road and the stick shift.
00:05:09.000 I dig that.
00:05:10.000 I want that in a car now.
00:05:14.000 Yeah, that's how my Corvette is.
00:05:16.000 That little 65 Corvette, that thing's so small.
00:05:19.000 Pump some life into you, though.
00:05:20.000 Oh, God.
00:05:21.000 Do you drive it to the store?
00:05:22.000 All the time.
00:05:23.000 Yeah.
00:05:23.000 It wakes you up, right?
00:05:24.000 Yeah, it wakes you up.
00:05:25.000 Well, it's so loud.
00:05:26.000 It's got side pipes.
00:05:27.000 It's a stick shift.
00:05:28.000 Big old hearse.
00:05:29.000 Fucking cue ball on the top.
00:05:30.000 Yeah.
00:05:31.000 Yeah.
00:05:31.000 That's what you want.
00:05:32.000 That's what they used to have with the GT500. I had a GT500 way back in 2012. It was glorious.
00:05:38.000 Big old rumbly fucking...
00:05:40.000 I had a convertible too.
00:05:41.000 Hell yeah.
00:05:42.000 Damn right you did.
00:05:43.000 It was great.
00:05:44.000 Put the top down.
00:05:45.000 Loud as fuck.
00:05:46.000 But also, we get too comfy with the...
00:05:48.000 You know, if you drive your freaking M5, it's so cushy and everything.
00:05:53.000 Yeah, there it is.
00:05:53.000 That thing looks dope as shit.
00:05:56.000 Look at the front view.
00:05:57.000 See, go with Silver GT500. Pull that up.
00:06:01.000 There's a shitload of carbon fiber in it now, yeah?
00:06:03.000 Yeah.
00:06:05.000 Yeah, there's a bunch of shit like the splitter and a bunch of the arrow stuff.
00:06:10.000 Look at that one right there.
00:06:11.000 Look at that.
00:06:12.000 Oh!
00:06:13.000 That looks so good.
00:06:15.000 That looks so good.
00:06:16.000 I love that.
00:06:16.000 But it's a goddamn automatic.
00:06:17.000 Like, why'd they do that?
00:06:19.000 Just to compete, man.
00:06:20.000 So when you look on Motor Trend, it says...
00:06:22.000 Have it as an option.
00:06:23.000 I agree.
00:06:24.000 I bet they have it as an option, yeah?
00:06:26.000 Have it as an option and they give you a skirt when you climb into it.
00:06:29.000 It said the transmission was made specifically for this car.
00:06:32.000 Just to get performance out of it.
00:06:34.000 That's all they want is the performance.
00:06:35.000 So they can say, hey, this competes with...
00:06:38.000 I would still drive that, even though it's an automatic.
00:06:41.000 I would drive it as a daily driver.
00:06:43.000 Yeah, I agree.
00:06:45.000 750 horsepower daily driver.
00:06:47.000 757, it says.
00:06:48.000 Is that what it is?
00:06:48.000 That thing's probably pretty light, yeah?
00:06:50.000 With all the carbon fiber, that thing's a fucking rocket.
00:06:53.000 No, I don't think it's light at all.
00:06:54.000 Chuck the weight, Jamie.
00:06:55.000 I bet it's 3,900 pounds easy.
00:06:57.000 Do you think it's almost 4,000?
00:06:58.000 No way.
00:06:59.000 Yeah, I bet it is.
00:07:01.000 Does it have all the cushy shit in it?
00:07:02.000 30 seconds, 60. No.
00:07:05.000 Doesn't say.
00:07:05.000 Mid 3 second, 0-60.
00:07:07.000 Yeah, I bet it's 3,900 pounds.
00:07:10.000 Google GT350R. They'll have the curb weight.
00:07:16.000 If there's a bunch of carbon fiber, it's not going to be that heavy.
00:07:19.000 That carbon fiber is mostly for looks.
00:07:23.000 No.
00:07:24.000 It's so strong, dude?
00:07:25.000 Yeah, but it's mostly for looks.
00:07:28.000 It's not making it that much lighter.
00:07:30.000 3,700 pounds.
00:07:31.000 And that's the most track-ready one.
00:07:33.000 So this is going to be heavier than the GT350 because it has a supercharger on it.
00:07:38.000 The supercharger and all that other jazz is probably about 100 pounds.
00:07:42.000 So yeah, it's like 3,800 pounds.
00:07:45.000 3,700.
00:07:46.000 Yeah, for that one.
00:07:47.000 But that's the 350. The GT500 has a big-ass Whipple supercharger on it.
00:07:54.000 To make it even heavier.
00:07:55.000 Sounds so good, though.
00:07:56.000 You ever hear a supercharger whine?
00:07:58.000 Fuck yeah.
00:08:00.000 That's American power, though.
00:08:02.000 They're not light.
00:08:03.000 They're heavy, big-ass engines.
00:08:05.000 Well, that's the thing.
00:08:06.000 That's what you want, kind of, isn't it?
00:08:08.000 They're trying to make a muscle car a precision scalpel instrument, like a 911 GT3. It's not that.
00:08:15.000 It's a different thing.
00:08:16.000 It's not what we're looking for.
00:08:18.000 Like, that white car that I have, the GT3 RS, the Shark Works car, that car is a scalpel.
00:08:23.000 It's precision.
00:08:24.000 It's effortless, the way it handles and maneuvers, and it's just a different experience.
00:08:29.000 But a muscle car is supposed to thrill you.
00:08:31.000 It's supposed to be exciting.
00:08:32.000 Yeah, you don't want to...
00:08:33.000 Yeah, it's not going to beat any fucking track times.
00:08:36.000 No, you don't...
00:08:37.000 You're not trying to...
00:08:38.000 I mean, what are you, Nicolas Cage and gone in 60 seconds?
00:08:42.000 Stop.
00:08:42.000 My brother always says that.
00:08:44.000 Any car, I'm like, my thing would beat the shit out of that.
00:08:46.000 He's like, not on the track, though.
00:08:47.000 I'm like...
00:08:48.000 405. I don't give a fuck.
00:08:50.000 What is this?
00:08:51.000 I'm not Vin Diesel, what do I look like?
00:08:52.000 On the track.
00:08:53.000 I know.
00:08:54.000 It's so irresponsible to even be able to sell these cars.
00:08:58.000 Like, when they're selling these Corvettes, these new Corvette ZR1s with 757 horsepower, they have a sub-3 second 0-60.
00:09:06.000 It's like 2.6 seconds.
00:09:08.000 There needs to be, like, an IQ test for that thing.
00:09:10.000 Not even a driving test.
00:09:11.000 Like, what?
00:09:11.000 Do you believe in flat earth?
00:09:13.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:09:14.000 Like...
00:09:16.000 What about that fucking...
00:09:17.000 What do you think of Pizzagate?
00:09:21.000 That new Tesla Roadster is going to be zero to 60 in under two seconds.
00:09:26.000 That's trouble because every moron that doesn't owe a car is getting Tesla because it's like the new Prius cool thing to do.
00:09:32.000 And so they get those things and they're fucking lightning rods.
00:09:36.000 Lightning rods.
00:09:37.000 I can't...
00:09:37.000 I just...
00:09:37.000 I know I'm super old school.
00:09:39.000 I can't fuck with them.
00:09:40.000 I don't like them.
00:09:41.000 I get in Callens.
00:09:42.000 It bumps me out.
00:09:43.000 It's just not for me, man.
00:09:45.000 I just...
00:09:45.000 I don't...
00:09:46.000 I like the sound of an engine.
00:09:48.000 I don't know.
00:09:49.000 You feel like you're driving an iPod.
00:09:51.000 I don't care how fucking fast it goes.
00:09:53.000 It does nothing for me.
00:09:55.000 Callan goes back and forth from complaining about it to telling you how you should get one.
00:10:00.000 Oh, I know.
00:10:00.000 It's very strange.
00:10:01.000 It depends what day you catch him.
00:10:03.000 It depends which day it is.
00:10:04.000 It's like he's trying to talk you into it.
00:10:07.000 So he doesn't feel alone out there.
00:10:08.000 He's like, I love that thing.
00:10:09.000 I fucking love that thing.
00:10:10.000 The next day he's like, I don't do that.
00:10:12.000 That thing, the charge, I just don't know, man.
00:10:15.000 He goes, should I get a Porsche?
00:10:17.000 Should I be like you and Joe?
00:10:18.000 Should I get a Porsche?
00:10:18.000 I'm like...
00:10:20.000 Should I be like you?
00:10:21.000 Not for you, man.
00:10:23.000 He should get something that's reliable that he could drive around everywhere.
00:10:28.000 You know, like a BMW or something.
00:10:30.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:10:31.000 Something simple.
00:10:32.000 He should get like a 5 Series.
00:10:33.000 Something simple.
00:10:35.000 But his ego won't let him.
00:10:36.000 He needs a big car.
00:10:37.000 Really?
00:10:37.000 Oh, he won't get a small car, no.
00:10:39.000 Why does he need a big car?
00:10:40.000 You know, it's Callan, man.
00:10:42.000 He likes a big car?
00:10:43.000 Well, yeah, he wants to be manly, you know?
00:10:45.000 He's not going to get just...
00:10:46.000 Big cars are manly?
00:10:47.000 To him...
00:10:49.000 You know, it's Brian, bro!
00:10:51.000 But if he wants to be manly, why would he get a car that doesn't make any noise?
00:10:54.000 Because he doesn't even think about that.
00:10:56.000 He doesn't care about, like, dual...
00:10:57.000 If you ask him what dual exhaust is, he'd be like, I have no idea.
00:11:00.000 He doesn't know what dual exhaust is.
00:11:02.000 No, it's...
00:11:02.000 He's not into that stuff.
00:11:04.000 You know what happened?
00:11:05.000 He took a chance way back in the day.
00:11:08.000 I want to say, like, 2002 or 2003. He had a Ford Bronco.
00:11:14.000 Like, 1969 Ford Bronco.
00:11:16.000 Oh, hell yeah.
00:11:16.000 It was badass.
00:11:17.000 Really?
00:11:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:11:19.000 But it stunk.
00:11:20.000 It was one of them old school ones.
00:11:22.000 It wasn't like an Icon one.
00:11:23.000 It was an old school one with a carburetor and shit.
00:11:26.000 So you smelled gas fumes everywhere.
00:11:27.000 Dude, love this.
00:11:28.000 And it didn't have any doors.
00:11:29.000 And it didn't have a top.
00:11:30.000 Callan had this?
00:11:31.000 Yep.
00:11:32.000 It was dope.
00:11:33.000 Yeah.
00:11:33.000 Did you give it to him?
00:11:34.000 He didn't buy that.
00:11:35.000 No, no, he bought it.
00:11:36.000 He bought it.
00:11:36.000 Yes, he did.
00:11:37.000 Wow!
00:11:38.000 Yeah.
00:11:38.000 He decided he was a wild man.
00:11:40.000 And he was going to drive around in a...
00:11:42.000 It was a stick shift.
00:11:45.000 Stick shift.
00:11:46.000 I'm pretty sure it was a stick shift.
00:11:48.000 Ford Bronco.
00:11:49.000 Early Bronco.
00:11:50.000 And put his pit bull in the back.
00:11:51.000 Yeah, he was like this wild man living on Venice Beach.
00:11:54.000 Single.
00:11:55.000 Single guy.
00:11:56.000 Dicking down everybody in sight.
00:11:58.000 Just out there on the freak prowl.
00:12:00.000 Just dropping loads all over Venice.
00:12:02.000 And couldn't keep it up.
00:12:04.000 I was looking up the Roadster.
00:12:06.000 This is Audi's new thing that they just announced.
00:12:09.000 It's called the PB18. Jesus Christ.
00:12:13.000 That's an electric car?
00:12:14.000 It's going to rival the Roadster.
00:12:16.000 Same speed is what they're sort of claiming.
00:12:18.000 It'll go zero to 60 in just under two seconds.
00:12:21.000 Jesus.
00:12:21.000 The car's getting too fast.
00:12:23.000 Look how good it looks, though.
00:12:24.000 It charges in 15 minutes.
00:12:27.000 Yee!
00:12:28.000 What?
00:12:28.000 Yeah.
00:12:29.000 What?
00:12:30.000 Yeah.
00:12:30.000 How the fuck is that possible?
00:12:31.000 Yeah.
00:12:32.000 Because the Germans said, oh, Tesla, you're making cars?
00:12:34.000 Very cool.
00:12:34.000 Let us try.
00:12:35.000 When is this coming out?
00:12:36.000 There's only going to be about 50 of them made.
00:12:38.000 Fuck you.
00:12:40.000 You fucking sons of bitches.
00:12:41.000 Again, even that.
00:12:43.000 It looks dope, but I'd rather have the R8 with a gas engine.
00:12:48.000 That is a beastly looking spaceship of a vehicle, bro.
00:12:50.000 It looks pretty much like a modernized R8. No, it's got a seat in the center.
00:12:55.000 Do you see what's going on there?
00:12:56.000 Yeah, I see it.
00:12:57.000 You get one seat.
00:12:58.000 I like that.
00:12:59.000 Yeah, if you've got a girlfriend, you tell her to sit in the backseat and rub my neck.
00:13:03.000 Nah, kick rocks, bitch.
00:13:04.000 Get an Uber.
00:13:05.000 Meet you there.
00:13:06.000 This thing doesn't have a backseat.
00:13:09.000 You take off.
00:13:10.000 You can't peel rubber in those things.
00:13:12.000 You just go like this.
00:13:13.000 That thing's fucking filthy, though.
00:13:15.000 That's a dirty little car.
00:13:17.000 It's an R8, yeah.
00:13:17.000 I bet they're going to come out with a gas pad, R8. It looks just the same.
00:13:20.000 Well, apparently people are taking the Acura NSX and they're replacing, they're doing something to the boost, replacing the ECU, so they're changing the program that they use to...
00:13:36.000 And using aftermarket exhaust and just jacking the horsepower way up.
00:13:42.000 That's what you do with those.
00:13:43.000 Yeah.
00:13:43.000 That fucking new NSX is a beast of a car, man.
00:13:46.000 They're cool.
00:13:47.000 I didn't realize how small they were, though.
00:13:48.000 One pulled up to me the other night.
00:13:51.000 It was like revving his engine.
00:13:52.000 I'm like, dude, we're not doing this.
00:13:53.000 I don't know.
00:13:54.000 I'm 35 years old.
00:13:56.000 We're not doing this.
00:13:57.000 And he was a grown man, too.
00:13:59.000 This was off Sunset when I was coming home from the store.
00:14:02.000 Some grown men will brag about it, too.
00:14:03.000 Yeah, it blew them off the line at the red light.
00:14:05.000 I'm like, what are we going to do, man?
00:14:06.000 I don't get this.
00:14:07.000 But I didn't realize how small they were now.
00:14:10.000 Yeah, they're pretty little.
00:14:11.000 The old ones are real little.
00:14:13.000 That's what it looks like now.
00:14:14.000 That's a deep...
00:14:15.000 That's a deep red.
00:14:17.000 I like that.
00:14:18.000 Almost a guard red.
00:14:20.000 That's a Porsche.
00:14:20.000 Good-looking car, goddammit.
00:14:22.000 It's cool.
00:14:23.000 That's very McLaren-ish.
00:14:24.000 Yeah, a little bit.
00:14:26.000 Well, they're making them spaceship-y, you know?
00:14:29.000 Dude, I was in Edmonton this past weekend, freezing at the Giant Mall, but in the middle of the mall, there's a McLaren, and, you know, that mall's filled with kids, because there's...
00:14:38.000 Wave pools and dolphins.
00:14:40.000 There's all sorts of shit there.
00:14:41.000 It's the biggest mall in North America.
00:14:43.000 And this poor McLaren is hurting my feelings because there's kids everywhere.
00:14:47.000 They don't give a fuck about the McLaren.
00:14:49.000 They're yanking on the fucking side mares.
00:14:52.000 There's also some kid kicking the back.
00:14:54.000 I'm like, dude, what are you guys doing here?
00:14:55.000 It's just parked in the middle.
00:14:56.000 Yeah, just as like a showcase car.
00:15:00.000 They don't even have ropes around it?
00:15:01.000 No ropes, nothing.
00:15:03.000 Kids wiping their shitty, sticky fingers in it.
00:15:05.000 Picking their nose.
00:15:06.000 God.
00:15:07.000 Wiping boogers on them.
00:15:07.000 Taking Legos, just fucking etching their names in the side and shit.
00:15:11.000 I know.
00:15:12.000 I was like, come on, McLaren, show a little pride, huh?
00:15:14.000 Why would they let that thing just...
00:15:15.000 Put a Tesla there or some shit.
00:15:16.000 Are they really selling a lot of McLarens in Edmonton?
00:15:18.000 I don't know.
00:15:19.000 No, it is that oil money.
00:15:21.000 Starts burning a hole in your pocket.
00:15:23.000 A lot of those guys up there in Alberta, they get those jobs, which are tough fucking jobs.
00:15:28.000 The oil?
00:15:28.000 Oh my god.
00:15:29.000 Great hard work.
00:15:30.000 Hard work, but big money.
00:15:33.000 My friend John Rivett and his wife Jen, their son was doing it for a while.
00:15:39.000 Kind of a bad business to be in though, right?
00:15:41.000 Because oil's kind of on the way out, right?
00:15:44.000 Not up there.
00:15:45.000 I think it's down though.
00:15:48.000 I know it's down because the economy there, one of the drivers was telling me, he's like, yeah, oil's just not what it's, you know, it's a fraction of the price than what it was a year ago, two years ago.
00:15:56.000 Oh, really?
00:15:57.000 He's like, so we're taking hits from it.
00:15:59.000 Can you imagine if that was like your business and your business could just fluctuate that hard?
00:16:04.000 Like all of a sudden?
00:16:05.000 Up and down.
00:16:05.000 Yeah.
00:16:06.000 It's just useless.
00:16:08.000 Well, because eventually it's going to be useless.
00:16:10.000 Probably not in our lifetime.
00:16:12.000 Well, not with assholes like us that don't want to drive electric cars.
00:16:15.000 I know.
00:16:15.000 I think about that all the time.
00:16:16.000 I think about it with my son.
00:16:17.000 I'm like, God, I hope this little perk isn't just driving Teslas everywhere.
00:16:21.000 Like, I want to educate them on dope-ass rides.
00:16:24.000 But then it's fucking up the planet, but also, is it?
00:16:28.000 It is.
00:16:29.000 You think?
00:16:29.000 Yeah, for sure.
00:16:31.000 Yeah.
00:16:31.000 So then we should be in electric cars.
00:16:33.000 It's having an effect, yeah.
00:16:34.000 But the question is, how much of an effect?
00:16:38.000 What is having the most effect?
00:16:40.000 There's a lot of different things that are having an effect.
00:16:42.000 And what's our footprint in that effect?
00:16:44.000 You know I'm saying yeah, it's there's a lot I mean human beings There's a lot of us and we're definitely burning a lot of shit and putting a lot of carbon into the atmosphere And there's a just definitely an impact well It's an impact is crazy the question is how much of an impact and Can it be turned around?
00:17:03.000 And how much of a bad thing is it actually?
00:17:06.000 Because somewhere in the...
00:17:08.000 It's in the middle of...
00:17:09.000 You've got your ultimate doom and gloom people that are saying...
00:17:13.000 They're saying that all of the city is going to be underwater...
00:17:18.000 The fucking East Coast is going to be underwater.
00:17:19.000 The West Coast is going to be underwater.
00:17:20.000 Everyone's fucked.
00:17:21.000 And then you've got the other people that say, no, we're just going to be able to move into Northern Canada.
00:17:26.000 Jesus Christ.
00:17:27.000 People that think that we're just going to have beautiful spots in Antarctica.
00:17:32.000 I don't know, man.
00:17:33.000 It's probably somewhere in the middle, huh?
00:17:34.000 It's somewhere in the middle.
00:17:35.000 Somewhere in the middle.
00:17:36.000 I'm a metal guy.
00:17:37.000 The real optimists think that we're going to be able to take some of the carbon out of the atmosphere.
00:17:45.000 And the way they're going to be able to do it, they actually invented this giant machine that looks like a building.
00:17:50.000 It's like a building size machine that's like a huge air filter.
00:17:55.000 That just sucks carbon out of the air.
00:17:58.000 I think they did it.
00:17:59.000 Makes sense.
00:18:00.000 I think it's a Chinese thing.
00:18:01.000 I think they're installing them somewhere in China.
00:18:05.000 Because, you know, like when the athletes were in Beijing for the Olympics, they said the air quality was like smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.
00:18:12.000 Dude, you don't realize how important air quality is.
00:18:14.000 When those fires, I was doing shows in Sacramento, I didn't even think of it.
00:18:19.000 And fans are DMing me going, dude, are you going to cancel?
00:18:22.000 Please don't cancel.
00:18:23.000 I'm like, why the fuck would I cancel?
00:18:24.000 No, I don't cancel shows.
00:18:26.000 I'll see you soon, man.
00:18:27.000 Then I fly in, and I was like, oh, shit.
00:18:31.000 You couldn't see a foot in front of your face.
00:18:34.000 All smoke.
00:18:35.000 You sent me a picture from your hotel room, and I was like, is there a fire in your room?
00:18:38.000 Dude, I've never seen anything like it, and I did not feel good.
00:18:42.000 I was sick the whole time there, doing my shows.
00:18:44.000 I was lightheaded.
00:18:45.000 Everyone had masks on, like Asians at airports.
00:18:48.000 Everybody, except for me and my brother.
00:18:50.000 And guess what?
00:18:50.000 We couldn't get any masks because they're all sold out.
00:18:53.000 Did they help?
00:18:54.000 The masks help?
00:18:55.000 I think so.
00:18:56.000 They filter some of it, but I didn't realize how big of a deal it was until I went up there.
00:19:00.000 I'm like, holy shit, man.
00:19:01.000 This is serious.
00:19:03.000 Those fires were so big.
00:19:05.000 I mean, the fires down here were big, but nothing compared to the Northern California fires.
00:19:09.000 Because the area of Northern California that got lit up was like woods.
00:19:15.000 Like huge, huge wooded areas.
00:19:17.000 I mean, the whole town was just, it's not there anymore.
00:19:20.000 Was it Paradise?
00:19:21.000 Yeah.
00:19:22.000 Done.
00:19:22.000 Game over.
00:19:23.000 There's no town left?
00:19:24.000 Really?
00:19:25.000 Nothing's there?
00:19:25.000 Nothing.
00:19:26.000 The whole town burned down, pretty sure.
00:19:28.000 Go to that.
00:19:29.000 Pull up paradisecalifornia.com.
00:19:33.000 Is that a place?
00:19:35.000 The website's just down now.
00:19:37.000 Do you see they fired the frickin' some of the firefighters and like relief people because they were taking pictures like, not even mocking.
00:19:45.000 I don't think they should have been fired because it was like an all burnt down house and then there was like, I don't know, like a wooden horse and then like firefighters like on the wooden horse.
00:19:54.000 Like, oh, you're mocking the people who lost their homes and they lost their jobs?
00:19:58.000 That's crazy.
00:19:59.000 Come on, man.
00:20:00.000 These guys are fighting for their life out there.
00:20:01.000 They have nothing to do with it.
00:20:03.000 Not only that, the horse is there.
00:20:05.000 It's like, what do you give a shit?
00:20:09.000 The house is burnt to the ground.
00:20:11.000 You really think it's in that poor taste for these poor guys who risked their lives to save people's houses to have a good time?
00:20:18.000 Whoa, is that real?
00:20:20.000 This is crazy.
00:20:24.000 They should have made it out of those trees.
00:20:26.000 Those trees are still standing.
00:20:27.000 Those trees are pretty gangster.
00:20:28.000 Yeah, like, what's going on?
00:20:29.000 Like, at a certain point in time, we're going to have to make fireproof houses.
00:20:34.000 Don't you think?
00:20:34.000 Yeah, does that exist?
00:20:35.000 Yes.
00:20:36.000 Make them out of cinder block.
00:20:38.000 Or you gotta do what Kanye did and just have your own freaking fire department just surround your house just in case.
00:20:43.000 That's a good move.
00:20:43.000 In my neighborhood, there's a house that burnt to the ground.
00:20:46.000 I put pictures of it up on my Instagram.
00:20:49.000 There's a car in the driveway.
00:20:51.000 But the...
00:20:52.000 Jesus Christ.
00:20:53.000 This picture's terrifying.
00:20:55.000 Oh, dude, you're talking...
00:20:56.000 Armageddon style.
00:20:57.000 This picture is terrifying.
00:20:59.000 What we're looking at is rows of houses that are gone.
00:21:03.000 It looks like it goes for...
00:21:04.000 An entire neighborhood.
00:21:05.000 It's an entire neighborhood wiped out.
00:21:06.000 It looks like a mile.
00:21:07.000 And just there's nothing left.
00:21:09.000 Everything's burnt to the ground.
00:21:11.000 But it's amazing.
00:21:12.000 Those trees are still standing.
00:21:13.000 Look at those trees.
00:21:13.000 I mean, they're torched, but yeah, they're there.
00:21:16.000 Yeah, but it's weird.
00:21:16.000 They're black as fuck.
00:21:17.000 Isn't it weird?
00:21:18.000 Wouldn't you expect the trees to be burnt to a crisp?
00:21:21.000 Yeah, they're so thick.
00:21:23.000 The other thing is, where did I fly?
00:21:25.000 Oh, coming from Edmund, I flew down, so from north to south.
00:21:28.000 And when you go over Malibu and Woodland Hills and where you live, when you see all that, it's insane from a bird's eye view.
00:21:38.000 You can just see all the black when you're flying into L.A. Well, I flew over Malibu with Burr in a helicopter, so we got real low.
00:21:46.000 It's crazy.
00:21:48.000 Crazy?
00:21:48.000 Look at this McDonald's burnt to the ground.
00:21:50.000 That's crazy.
00:21:51.000 You know that motherfucker burned.
00:21:54.000 Oh, wow.
00:21:55.000 Look at that.
00:21:56.000 That bridge burnt.
00:21:57.000 How the fuck does a bridge burn down the steel?
00:22:00.000 No, it's wooden.
00:22:01.000 Oh, was it a wooden bridge?
00:22:03.000 Look at this.
00:22:05.000 Everything's gone.
00:22:06.000 So, is that the case?
00:22:07.000 That the whole town is evaporating?
00:22:09.000 Paradise is gone.
00:22:10.000 Yeah, pretty sure.
00:22:11.000 Paradise is no bueno.
00:22:12.000 What the fuck do those people do now?
00:22:15.000 You don't rebuild, right?
00:22:18.000 You're like, whoa.
00:22:19.000 Jesus Christ.
00:22:20.000 And then also a lot of it, and this is just from my own experience, down here, looking at homes in areas where there's chances of fire that were caused by fires, banks won't give you the loan or you have to put a higher, almost all cash payment down.
00:22:35.000 Really?
00:22:36.000 And also the house insurance on a fire area, they're not going to do it these days.
00:22:40.000 But what are they going to do with a place like Malibu?
00:22:42.000 Because Malibu got hit harder than anything.
00:22:44.000 They lost 600 plus houses.
00:22:46.000 Find out if that's true.
00:22:47.000 I know they said they lost like 1,500 structures, but someone told me that 600 of those were houses.
00:22:52.000 And if you're talking about Malibu, Like, when Burr and I were flying around the coastline over by Point Doom, you know, those beautiful...
00:23:01.000 Is that right?
00:23:03.000 James Beach area?
00:23:04.000 I don't know.
00:23:04.000 It's the cliffs.
00:23:05.000 I know what you're talking about, though.
00:23:06.000 Woosley Fire...
00:23:08.000 Worst fire to hit Malibu with home losses topping $1.6 billion.
00:23:15.000 I feel like we don't hear about it.
00:23:17.000 620 structures destroyed.
00:23:18.000 I feel like we don't hear about it so much because I think people assume everyone in Malibu has money.
00:23:22.000 Yes.
00:23:23.000 They're a higher tax bracket, so they'll figure it out.
00:23:26.000 It's still super fucked up, man.
00:23:28.000 Well, I have friends that don't have a lot of money, but they build houses.
00:23:33.000 And one of the houses they were living in and the other house they were building...
00:23:37.000 And both houses got torched.
00:23:40.000 400 single-family houses with an estimated market value of $1.6 billion.
00:23:44.000 So 670 structures, 400 of them are houses.
00:23:48.000 That's horrible, man.
00:23:51.000 It's weird to fly over, man.
00:23:53.000 When you fly over it, because with the helicopter, Burr was pretty close.
00:23:58.000 Yeah, we were right above it and circling, just outside, right over the ocean.
00:24:03.000 And as you're doing it, flying over the ocean, you're looking at these compounds.
00:24:07.000 They're probably $50 million houses.
00:24:09.000 I mean, these fucking massive, massive compounds burnt to the ground.
00:24:14.000 Gone.
00:24:15.000 Not a goddamn thing they could do about it.
00:24:17.000 How good of a pilot is Burr?
00:24:19.000 Terrible.
00:24:19.000 We almost died three times.
00:24:20.000 Jesus Christ.
00:24:21.000 No, he's great.
00:24:22.000 Is he?
00:24:22.000 Yeah, he's great.
00:24:23.000 He's really good at it.
00:24:24.000 He's been doing it for a while?
00:24:25.000 When I saw that picture, I'm like, oh, fuck, man.
00:24:27.000 I trust that guy 100%.
00:24:29.000 If he told me that he was going to take me up in a helicopter, he knows how to do it.
00:24:33.000 Yeah.
00:24:33.000 It was a good time, man.
00:24:34.000 We had fun.
00:24:35.000 We had a lot of laughs.
00:24:36.000 Is it fun?
00:24:37.000 So much fun.
00:24:38.000 You're up in a helicopter with one of the greatest comedians that ever lived.
00:24:41.000 Yeah.
00:24:42.000 We're having a good fucking time.
00:24:43.000 We're just howling.
00:24:44.000 Me and him.
00:24:45.000 He's hilarious.
00:24:46.000 And we're talking through headphones because it's like...
00:24:49.000 So you got a little fucking...
00:24:52.000 Like commando or some shit.
00:24:53.000 Hell yeah, that's sick.
00:24:55.000 A little microphone.
00:24:56.000 I don't know.
00:24:56.000 Helicopters scare me, man.
00:24:57.000 It was a good time.
00:24:58.000 Yeah, I saw that.
00:24:59.000 It scared the fuck out of me.
00:25:00.000 It's weird how close you can get to downtown LA. There's no real restrictions.
00:25:05.000 You just fly right next to the buildings.
00:25:07.000 I'm like, this is okay?
00:25:08.000 Because it's a helicopter?
00:25:09.000 Yeah.
00:25:10.000 Yeah, that was us right there.
00:25:12.000 It was just flying around.
00:25:14.000 I mean, we were just flying right next to these buildings, and we were the height of the buildings.
00:25:20.000 And all those big buildings, see those flat spots in all those buildings?
00:25:23.000 Those are all helicopter pads.
00:25:25.000 Landing pads, huh?
00:25:26.000 Yeah, and some of them are real narrow.
00:25:29.000 And Bill was like, I wouldn't want to land on that fucking thing on a windy day.
00:25:32.000 And I'm like, oh my god, I didn't even think about that.
00:25:34.000 Hold up, it was just you and Byrd?
00:25:36.000 Was there a third guy?
00:25:37.000 There was a third guy.
00:25:38.000 Yeah, the third guy was an instructor.
00:25:42.000 He's the guy that teaches Bill.
00:25:45.000 Oh, gotcha.
00:25:46.000 But Bill can fly solo.
00:25:47.000 He has a license to fly solo.
00:25:49.000 He flies a lot, right?
00:25:50.000 Yeah, he flies.
00:25:51.000 God, I'm just not into that.
00:25:53.000 I think it'd be awesome to get up there and do that.
00:25:55.000 It's just not...
00:25:56.000 Pros and cons, man.
00:25:57.000 Pros.
00:25:58.000 You fly around a little bit, get real high.
00:26:00.000 Con.
00:26:01.000 Die.
00:26:02.000 Yeah, but it seemed pretty controlled.
00:26:05.000 It really does.
00:26:06.000 But there's no, like, there's no room for error, you know what I'm saying?
00:26:09.000 Like, unless you're Harrison Ford, remember he crashed in Santa Monica?
00:26:13.000 But he crashed a plane.
00:26:15.000 Straight up plane, yeah.
00:26:16.000 Yeah.
00:26:17.000 Helicopter.
00:26:17.000 Crashed in Santa Monica?
00:26:18.000 He crashed?
00:26:18.000 Yeah.
00:26:19.000 Where'd he crashed?
00:26:20.000 Uh, I forget.
00:26:21.000 Look that up, Jamie.
00:26:22.000 He flew out of Santa Monica Airport and then was like, ah, fuck, it went down.
00:26:25.000 Because he's so high all the time, I hear.
00:26:27.000 Is he really?
00:26:28.000 Oh, dude, he smokes.
00:26:29.000 Like fucking Cheech and Chong, bro.
00:26:32.000 Really?
00:26:32.000 Harrison Ford?
00:26:33.000 Harrison Ford blazes it up.
00:26:35.000 I think when you get that famous, you probably just want to be high all the time because life is a dream anyway.
00:26:40.000 I just think there's nothing else to do and he's just like, I don't know, man.
00:26:44.000 It's Han Solo.
00:26:45.000 That doesn't keep you busy?
00:26:47.000 30 years ago.
00:26:48.000 We just did one a couple years ago.
00:26:49.000 He had a cameo in it.
00:26:51.000 He wasn't like the main guy.
00:26:52.000 That's why people were pissed, right?
00:26:53.000 He got murked.
00:26:54.000 Did he?
00:26:54.000 I'm not a Star Wars guy.
00:26:56.000 Spoiler alert.
00:26:57.000 Dude, that came out forever ago.
00:26:59.000 There's no spoiler alert.
00:27:01.000 There is.
00:27:01.000 For everything, there's a spoiler alert now.
00:27:03.000 Oh, dude.
00:27:04.000 People are seeing Game of Thrones now for the first time.
00:27:06.000 There's dragons, assholes.
00:27:07.000 It's like with that Dan Amore escape.
00:27:09.000 You've seen that on Showtime?
00:27:11.000 No.
00:27:12.000 You know those two guys?
00:27:13.000 Harrison Ford saved several lives by landing plane on a golf course.
00:27:18.000 Yeah, you know, what the fuck does that mean?
00:27:21.000 Scroll down.
00:27:22.000 What is that kind of fucking World War II plane?
00:27:25.000 Santa Monica.
00:27:27.000 There you go.
00:27:28.000 Fucking Han Solo.
00:27:29.000 Indiana Jones went, you know what?
00:27:30.000 Just walked away and went, fuck this noise.
00:27:32.000 Looking where he crashed and how the plane went down, I'm sure there was a moment where he said, I'm not going to risk lives.
00:27:37.000 Whatever happens, happens.
00:27:39.000 It's going to be just me.
00:27:41.000 72-year-old actor suffered moderate injuries after crashing the vehicle.
00:27:46.000 The vintage two-seater...
00:27:47.000 Oh, he's flying a fucking old plane.
00:27:49.000 A vintage plane that he was piloting on a green golf course Thursday afternoon.
00:27:56.000 He had lacerations to his face and possible fractures.
00:27:59.000 Television news footage taken showed him on a stretcher being taken into an ambulance.
00:28:04.000 He risked life and limb by putting it down on the golf course instead of trying to go further, try to get back to the airport.
00:28:10.000 Notice how Harrison Ford, he's not quoted anything.
00:28:13.000 He doesn't give a fuck.
00:28:14.000 How about we were on the Fox lot, Brian and I were, when we worked for Fox, and this Tesla pulls in, and it's all tinted windows, and it rolled down the window, it's Harrison Ford, and I go, I tell Brian, oh shit, that's fucking Indiana Jones, like joking around, and Brian, I didn't know how big of a Harrison Ford fan is, Brian gets super nervous, and Harrison looks at him, and Brian goes like this.
00:28:38.000 Gives him a peace sign.
00:28:39.000 I've never seen a grown man give another grown man a peace sign.
00:28:42.000 Harrison Ford just goes...
00:28:45.000 Doesn't even acknowledge the peace sign.
00:28:47.000 Just keeps on going.
00:28:48.000 Bro, you just gave deuces to fucking Indiana Jones.
00:28:52.000 I would do that.
00:28:53.000 It was so great.
00:28:55.000 I give peace signs to people.
00:28:57.000 I give peace signs to people.
00:28:58.000 What do you think?
00:28:59.000 Alien?
00:29:00.000 We come in peace?
00:29:01.000 You go like this?
00:29:03.000 I'll do that.
00:29:04.000 You know what?
00:29:04.000 I do like this.
00:29:06.000 That's three fingers.
00:29:07.000 Well, no, this is kind of like, yo, not a wave, but this.
00:29:11.000 This is kind of halt.
00:29:13.000 This is I'm reaching for you.
00:29:15.000 I'm reaching for you.
00:29:16.000 And if you go too high, it's the Hail Hitler.
00:29:18.000 You don't want that.
00:29:19.000 I gotta tell you, man, now I'm thinking I give peace signs to people all the time.
00:29:23.000 You do this?
00:29:24.000 All the time.
00:29:24.000 Like a 14-year-old Korean teenager girl?
00:29:27.000 Yep, exactly.
00:29:28.000 13. 13-year-old teenager girl.
00:29:31.000 Peace out.
00:29:32.000 Nothing wrong with that.
00:29:33.000 My kids do the peace sign all the time, but they do sideways.
00:29:35.000 Like this?
00:29:36.000 They'll take pictures, they go like this.
00:29:38.000 That's cute.
00:29:38.000 Lips out, though.
00:29:39.000 They'll do like this hand forward, this hand backward.
00:29:43.000 Like this?
00:29:44.000 Yes.
00:29:45.000 Well, that's what Brian did to Harrison Ford.
00:29:46.000 Look at that picture right there.
00:29:48.000 That's me, bro.
00:29:50.000 But imagine running up to Harrison Ford and doing that.
00:29:52.000 Freaked him the fuck out, man.
00:29:53.000 And he's high off his ass.
00:29:54.000 Right.
00:29:55.000 He's driving that fucking electric dune buggy.
00:29:59.000 It was great, man.
00:30:01.000 Yeah, he's...
00:30:02.000 I wonder what he does with his spare time, other than fly planes.
00:30:06.000 Like, when you make that much money, and you're that famous, and then you just sit around, what do you do?
00:30:11.000 I don't know, but there's certain guys at that level, right?
00:30:15.000 Like, he's so famous.
00:30:16.000 He's a whole other level.
00:30:17.000 But I was thinking about last night, when Dave Chappelle walked in, and it was like, you know, you're around, Burr's around, there's some of the greatest comics in the world.
00:30:26.000 Then when Dave Chappelle walks in, I wonder if it's weird for him because I can feel the room, like, everyone just stares at him.
00:30:34.000 And then he was in the OR, and I was in there before he went on, and there's, I mean...
00:30:39.000 There wasn't a seat.
00:30:40.000 I mean, people are in the hallways just watching him do his thing.
00:30:43.000 He was up there, I don't know, an hour, two hours, just not really doing a set, just feeling it out.
00:30:49.000 I went, man, that must be weird where he's at in life that he just goes up there and everything shuts down for him as a comic.
00:30:57.000 He's not working out.
00:30:59.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:30:59.000 Well, he's definitely working out.
00:31:01.000 That's how he works out.
00:31:02.000 Correct.
00:31:02.000 But it's different than if somebody yells.
00:31:05.000 Like, all eyes are on him all the time, nonstop.
00:31:07.000 So even him working out, it's funny as fuck.
00:31:09.000 You know?
00:31:10.000 Well, he handles it remarkably well.
00:31:14.000 Like, the way he's just around people.
00:31:16.000 Like, even though he's super-duper ridiculous famous, he handles it like he's not.
00:31:21.000 Like, he wanders through.
00:31:22.000 But man, when people start grabbing at him and wanting pictures and shit, it's so embarrassing.
00:31:26.000 Oh, no.
00:31:27.000 They just, they won't let them talk to people.
00:31:29.000 Like, say if you're talking to them, they don't care if you're locked in a conversation about your mom's cancer.
00:31:35.000 They don't care.
00:31:37.000 They just, yo bro, can I get a picture of Dave, Dave Chappelle?
00:31:40.000 They freak out.
00:31:42.000 They freak out.
00:31:43.000 They just like, this is my time to dress up my Facebook page.
00:31:47.000 And they get there with that, and they just, they move in on them like a fucking hawk.
00:31:51.000 Wah!
00:31:53.000 It's embarrassing.
00:31:55.000 People don't respect another person having a conversation.
00:32:00.000 They don't wait.
00:32:01.000 No one sits around and waits.
00:32:03.000 In their head, if they don't grab them right now, they're never going to get that picture.
00:32:07.000 So it doesn't matter who he's talking to.
00:32:09.000 I've seen it too.
00:32:11.000 I was talking to The Rock once.
00:32:13.000 And this dude literally slid in between us.
00:32:17.000 Jesus.
00:32:17.000 And held his phone up to The Rock.
00:32:20.000 Slid in between us.
00:32:21.000 Just didn't ask.
00:32:23.000 He was taking the picture as he was asking.
00:32:26.000 He just came in to take a picture with you?
00:32:27.000 And just like, in between us.
00:32:29.000 Like, I'm talking to him.
00:32:30.000 Hey, what's up, man?
00:32:31.000 Did you have a good time?
00:32:32.000 And then this guy slides in.
00:32:35.000 He's got the camera up.
00:32:36.000 Like, no thought whatsoever for people's space.
00:32:39.000 And what did The Rock do?
00:32:40.000 He's probably used to it by now.
00:32:42.000 He swallowed.
00:32:43.000 Jesus Christ.
00:32:44.000 Handled it like a man.
00:32:45.000 It's just such a bummer, man.
00:32:47.000 It is.
00:32:47.000 Because there's a certain point of fame with Chappelle, The Rock.
00:32:51.000 Yeah.
00:32:51.000 You're probably pretty fucking close to that, where you can't even go through the airport.
00:32:54.000 Like, I had to go through the airport one time with Tim Tebow.
00:32:59.000 I think right after he won this huge playoff game.
00:33:02.000 Does he get on a knee before he gets in the plane?
00:33:04.000 No, he assumes Jesus is taking care of him.
00:33:07.000 Oh.
00:33:07.000 Yeah, Jesus take the wheel.
00:33:08.000 And I knew I was safe as fuck next to him, so I didn't give a fuck.
00:33:14.000 So going through the airport with him, I felt bad for him.
00:33:19.000 I mean, you're talking, you can't get anywhere.
00:33:23.000 There's just like this mob.
00:33:25.000 Dude, this is exhausting.
00:33:27.000 Exhausting.
00:33:28.000 There has to be a certain level where that's just not cool, man.
00:33:30.000 Well, what changed was phones.
00:33:33.000 Cameras on phones.
00:33:34.000 And then social media because everybody wants a picture.
00:33:36.000 Whereas before, I guess people would just want autographs and no one had a camera with them.
00:33:41.000 Yeah.
00:33:42.000 Now the autograph is the selfie.
00:33:44.000 Yeah.
00:33:45.000 There's no more autographs.
00:33:45.000 There might be a few at a show, but when's the last time someone came with you and asked for an autograph?
00:33:52.000 The other day, but it's like 100 to 1. Pictures to selfies.
00:33:55.000 It's all selfies.
00:33:56.000 Yeah, it's all selfies.
00:33:58.000 Yeah.
00:33:58.000 It's weird.
00:33:59.000 It's strange.
00:34:00.000 This is the life we chose.
00:34:02.000 This is the weird world we live in.
00:34:03.000 Well, take it easy.
00:34:06.000 I'm not Tim Tebow and freaking Joe Rogan.
00:34:09.000 You can walk through an airport.
00:34:11.000 You get bombed on.
00:34:11.000 Yeah, I can walk through an airport.
00:34:13.000 It gets weird, but I can do it.
00:34:15.000 But like Chappelle, it'd be tough.
00:34:16.000 Yeah.
00:34:17.000 Well, Tom Cruise.
00:34:18.000 That motherfucker can't walk through an airport.
00:34:20.000 Yeah, but you're Tom Cruise.
00:34:21.000 You got Tom Cruise money.
00:34:22.000 You're going private.
00:34:23.000 LAX, he laughs.
00:34:24.000 He laughs.
00:34:25.000 That's the best joke he's heard.
00:34:27.000 Like, you bring up LAX or Tom Cruise, like, what the fuck?
00:34:29.000 Come on, bro.
00:34:30.000 Well, we flew over his jet when we were with Burr.
00:34:32.000 Oh, yeah?
00:34:33.000 Yeah, the Van Nuys Airport.
00:34:35.000 Flew over the Tom Cruise experience.
00:34:36.000 I feel like he autographs his jet.
00:34:38.000 Does it have, like, his signature on it?
00:34:39.000 I think his jet has a button that you can press, and then it's all covered in screens, and it turns into the clouds behind it and becomes invisible like the Wonder Woman jet.
00:34:47.000 Makes sense.
00:34:48.000 It's fucking Tom Cruise, man.
00:34:51.000 But don't you think that guy has probably a lot of expenses?
00:34:54.000 I always assume that a guy like that, not only do they have a lot of money, but they burn through a lot of money.
00:34:59.000 So they have to keep making a lot of money.
00:35:00.000 Is that true, though?
00:35:01.000 Or are we assuming everyone's Johnny Depp and has 19 houses and buying old pirate ships for $30 billion?
00:35:09.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:35:10.000 And they're just making horrible life decisions.
00:35:12.000 That's the same thing with athletes or even comics or entertainers.
00:35:17.000 If I post something, let's say I post my car or something like that, like, good luck, bro, in three years when you go broke, I'm like, no, I know the bad stories.
00:35:24.000 I get that, man.
00:35:24.000 I'm a smart dude.
00:35:26.000 I've made it this far.
00:35:28.000 You can't listen to those people.
00:35:29.000 They just hope you're going broke.
00:35:30.000 No, but there's that stigma of the 30 for 30 ESPN broke.
00:35:33.000 Not everyone's like that, man.
00:35:36.000 I hate to tell you.
00:35:36.000 Not all entertainers are fucking rappers where we're just blowing through money.
00:35:40.000 It doesn't work like that.
00:35:41.000 I'm in a business where it's not the UFC where your average career's a year and a half or two years.
00:35:50.000 It's not professional sports.
00:35:51.000 Well, once you get into the world of podcasting...
00:35:53.000 Podcasting's a weird thing, right?
00:35:55.000 It's like, what are we doing?
00:35:55.000 We're just talking.
00:35:57.000 You know, this is what our art form is, shit people already do.
00:36:01.000 You know?
00:36:02.000 Yeah.
00:36:03.000 That's weird if you think about it.
00:36:04.000 It's very weird.
00:36:06.000 You know, there's no other art form where everybody does it.
00:36:10.000 Yeah, everyone does it.
00:36:11.000 Everybody does it.
00:36:12.000 Not everybody paints.
00:36:13.000 No, but with- When was the last time you painted?
00:36:16.000 Well, I paint with my son.
00:36:17.000 Right, but on your own.
00:36:18.000 When was the last time you went down to Michael's, got a canvas?
00:36:21.000 Never, never, because I don't suck dick.
00:36:23.000 I can't paint, bro.
00:36:26.000 There's a lot of painters that don't suck dick, you son of a bitch.
00:36:28.000 You'd be surprised, but there are.
00:36:29.000 Oh, my.
00:36:30.000 But I'm talking about taking time out of my day to paint a flower.
00:36:33.000 There's a lot of heterosexual male painters that admire you, that are listening to this right now.
00:36:37.000 I love you guys, man.
00:36:38.000 Paint me something cool, bro.
00:36:39.000 They have their paintbrush in their hand right now, and they're like, fuck this guy.
00:36:42.000 I'm going to paint Shaw with a big old dick in his mouth.
00:36:44.000 Do it!
00:36:46.000 Yeah, I don't know, man.
00:36:48.000 With podcasts, it's weird, but it's also the gateway to an unfiltered medium where before with TV and movies and stuff like, you know, with like, name any...
00:37:02.000 I'm trying to think of a...
00:37:04.000 Like Dax Shepard, right?
00:37:05.000 He's an actor.
00:37:06.000 He's an actor and he has a podcast.
00:37:08.000 Well, if you just watch his movies, you don't know shit about him.
00:37:11.000 He's playing a character.
00:37:12.000 But you can go on his podcast, you listen to him talk, like, oh, fuck.
00:37:15.000 We're into a lot of the same things.
00:37:17.000 Oh, damn, he's struggling with his wife?
00:37:19.000 God, I have the same issues.
00:37:21.000 Oh, damn, he's struggling with his kids.
00:37:22.000 And then you find out we're all the exact same.
00:37:25.000 But you'd never get that if there weren't podcasts.
00:37:26.000 You wouldn't.
00:37:27.000 You're not going to get that off an ESPN interview.
00:37:30.000 You're not going to get any of that ever.
00:37:32.000 That's why podcasting is taking over, I think.
00:37:34.000 Well, it's also because no one can tell you what to do.
00:37:38.000 You know, you can have conversations that no one can steer.
00:37:42.000 There's no executives gonna come in and stop you.
00:37:45.000 If you fuck up, it's your fuck up.
00:37:46.000 And then if you apologize, it's an apology that you make yourself.
00:37:51.000 You don't feel good about what you did.
00:37:54.000 You express remorse.
00:37:56.000 Which I do all the time.
00:37:57.000 You have to.
00:37:57.000 That's the way to go, though.
00:37:59.000 I talk a lot of shit.
00:38:00.000 I don't want to say shit.
00:38:02.000 I go, and then I'll think about something like with Nowitzki.
00:38:06.000 I like Jeff Nowitzki.
00:38:08.000 I really like him.
00:38:09.000 The one time I met him, he's a great dude.
00:38:11.000 We had a joke about it.
00:38:12.000 The nickname, the Golden Snitch.
00:38:14.000 Good dude.
00:38:15.000 Look right there, right next to you.
00:38:16.000 Oh, is this the shirt?
00:38:17.000 Yeah.
00:38:18.000 Oh, dude.
00:38:18.000 Thank you, Joe.
00:38:19.000 I will rock the shit out of that.
00:38:21.000 Look at that.
00:38:22.000 That's pretty dope.
00:38:23.000 Hold that up for the camera.
00:38:25.000 It's pretty dope.
00:38:25.000 For sure, let me or Joe design your shirts.
00:38:28.000 That's a good shirt.
00:38:29.000 It's a decent shirt.
00:38:29.000 I like it a lot.
00:38:30.000 Yeah, it's cool.
00:38:33.000 But, like, with him, right?
00:38:34.000 Like, I go off on something, and then when I talk to you about it, I'm like, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
00:38:40.000 It's just like, to me, it's a game.
00:38:43.000 But when you think about, like, he might have to deal with it in the office.
00:38:48.000 People are like, dude, you hurt Shaab this, or gets DM'd this.
00:38:51.000 I'm like, I don't want that.
00:38:53.000 That's the last thing I want.
00:38:54.000 Well, you made an error in that you thought that he worked for USADA, and he never worked for USADA. He worked for the UFC. You said he worked for the USADA, and now he works for the UFC. But he never really worked for USADA. He worked for the government.
00:39:07.000 He worked very closely with USADA. He worked for the UFC. He worked for the UFC. He works for the UFC now.
00:39:11.000 No, he coordinated the UFC's meeting with USADA, and he put it all together.
00:39:16.000 He's the vice president of athletes' safety, health and safety, is that what it is?
00:39:23.000 Something like that.
00:39:24.000 For the UFC now.
00:39:24.000 That's what he's always had.
00:39:26.000 No, that's not true.
00:39:26.000 Before that, he worked for the government.
00:39:28.000 Yes, but he's worked hand-in-hand with USADA. Not as an employee.
00:39:33.000 Right, but he never worked for USADA. No, he's never worked for USADA. I think he was working for the IRS. Pretty sure.
00:39:42.000 Yeah, my point was, he's never got a...
00:39:45.000 I don't know if he's ever got a check from USADA. He's been in cahoots with them.
00:39:48.000 They work hand in hand.
00:39:50.000 FDA. FDA. That's it.
00:39:52.000 Yeah.
00:39:53.000 That's when he was investigating Lance Armstrong, right?
00:39:56.000 Yeah, Lance Armstrong.
00:39:57.000 Every time I talk to Novitski, I get text messages from Lance Armstrong.
00:40:01.000 Makes sense, though, right?
00:40:03.000 He's so salty.
00:40:03.000 Why wouldn't you be?
00:40:05.000 I mean, are you kidding me, bro?
00:40:06.000 I see why he would be salty, but I also...
00:40:09.000 Fuck yeah.
00:40:09.000 He has to accept...
00:40:11.000 I think that he did some things that he shouldn't have done.
00:40:14.000 And I'm not even just talking about the steroids.
00:40:16.000 I'm talking about suing the people that came out and said that he took the steroids.
00:40:19.000 That's where he's fucked up.
00:40:20.000 That's where he's fucked up.
00:40:21.000 Because just doing PEDs and cycling, I don't give a fuck.
00:40:26.000 Do it, bro, and you're the best at it.
00:40:28.000 He still would have been the best of the level playing field.
00:40:30.000 I think so, too.
00:40:31.000 But where he fucked up is he was mean and bullied the people that were trying to snitch on him, or if they weren't into the PEDs, or if they were going to tell on him, he kind of fucked them over.
00:40:41.000 That's where it gets dark, and that's where people hate him.
00:40:44.000 So I get that.
00:40:45.000 But in his defense, and this is a shaky defense, they went after those people to get to him.
00:40:52.000 They went after those people and they broke those people down and made those people rat on him.
00:40:56.000 And then he was threatening them with lawsuits sort of to protect himself.
00:41:01.000 But even before that, right?
00:41:02.000 There was a little bit of a bully culture coming from him.
00:41:05.000 Which is why...
00:41:06.000 Fucking competitor.
00:41:07.000 He's a mean guy.
00:41:09.000 You know, a lot of like...
00:41:10.000 Most people are.
00:41:11.000 Yeah, you're right.
00:41:11.000 You're right about that.
00:41:12.000 I was just talking about this the other day.
00:41:14.000 And this...
00:41:15.000 T.J. Dillshaw's a great guy and he fights Saturday.
00:41:18.000 Great guy.
00:41:19.000 But he's mean.
00:41:21.000 Correct.
00:41:21.000 Great guy, but if you say, hey TJ, if you knock him out with a head kick, his family won't eat tonight in order for you to win this fight, he's going to knock you out with a head kick.
00:41:30.000 He's the most ultra-competitive guy in the world.
00:41:34.000 And it shows in training, it shows in practice.
00:41:36.000 I mean, he's a nasty motherfucker.
00:41:38.000 Do you know he only weighs 135 pounds right now?
00:41:41.000 Oh yeah, he's ready to go.
00:41:42.000 But he got his body down to 135 pounds before the weight cut.
00:41:46.000 It's crazy.
00:41:47.000 He looks so thin.
00:41:48.000 Freak.
00:41:49.000 I saw him on ESPN last night, and they were discussing he might fight Max, or he wants to fight Max next.
00:41:55.000 That's a tough one.
00:41:56.000 He wants to fight 145 after this, but that's a 20-pound jump in weight.
00:41:59.000 And Max is a giant 45er.
00:42:01.000 That's a bad idea, but you never know with TJ. Hey, who knows?
00:42:05.000 I mean, if he can get his body up to 165...
00:42:08.000 Dude, have you seen Henry Cejudo, though?
00:42:11.000 Jacked.
00:42:11.000 Pico on picos.
00:42:13.000 Just kidding.
00:42:14.000 He's going to clear the test.
00:42:15.000 I'm just joking around.
00:42:16.000 He looks like he's pulsing.
00:42:18.000 Yeah, he might not make weight.
00:42:20.000 He's jack city, bro.
00:42:22.000 Yeah, I don't know if he's going to make the weight.
00:42:24.000 I bet he makes it.
00:42:25.000 I bet he makes it, too.
00:42:26.000 He's never missed.
00:42:26.000 He's missed a bunch of times.
00:42:27.000 Henry Cejudo?
00:42:28.000 Yes.
00:42:28.000 At 125?
00:42:29.000 Yes.
00:42:30.000 That's why they made him fight at 135 for a while.
00:42:33.000 Trust me.
00:42:34.000 Well, you do know your shit.
00:42:36.000 A bunch, though?
00:42:36.000 More than once.
00:42:38.000 That's a problem.
00:42:39.000 Look at him.
00:42:40.000 Looks pretty stacked.
00:42:42.000 Good-looking kid.
00:42:43.000 He's a thick dude.
00:42:44.000 He's a short dude, isn't he?
00:42:45.000 He's probably walking around at...
00:42:50.000 More than 45. I would say he's more than 45. Dude, he's so short, I don't know.
00:42:55.000 Yeah.
00:42:56.000 I still think he's more than 145 pounds.
00:42:58.000 Dude, that's a tough life if you're that short and you're not an Olympic champion.
00:43:02.000 Right?
00:43:03.000 I was looking at him the other day in a video, I'm like, God damn, he's tiny.
00:43:06.000 What is he, 5'2"?
00:43:07.000 5'2", 5'3".
00:43:09.000 I'm only five inches away from that.
00:43:11.000 Five inches?
00:43:12.000 That's a lifetime, bro, for those.
00:43:14.000 Five inches?
00:43:15.000 You know how much money they would pay to have five inches?
00:43:17.000 They do pay.
00:43:18.000 Do you ever see what they do?
00:43:19.000 Oh my god.
00:43:19.000 They stretch your bones.
00:43:21.000 Where they break them and then extend them?
00:43:22.000 Dude, you know how crazy you have to be to get your shins extended?
00:43:25.000 They cut your shins.
00:43:26.000 They saw into you.
00:43:28.000 And then they put this metal brace all around you, like a halo brace.
00:43:32.000 And then you crank it a little bit every day.
00:43:34.000 Click, click, click.
00:43:35.000 And for what?
00:43:36.000 Click, click, click.
00:43:37.000 Get a couple inches taller.
00:43:39.000 Come on, bro.
00:43:40.000 For what?
00:43:41.000 So it's an ego thing?
00:43:42.000 No, so you can get laid.
00:43:43.000 I was watching this documentary on Chinese guys.
00:43:45.000 This guy was like, he had these braces on his leg and he's like, my girlfriend, she wouldn't marry me because I'm too short, but I'm going to come to her and I'm going to be over five feet tall for the first time.
00:43:58.000 He's under five feet tall.
00:44:00.000 Get another girl.
00:44:02.000 Fuck that hoe.
00:44:02.000 It's hard to get a girl when you're 4'9".
00:44:04.000 The biggest problem is if you have a short dick.
00:44:08.000 Yeah, but the biggest problem is if you're 4'9", they don't want to see your dick.
00:44:13.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:44:13.000 Look at this guy.
00:44:14.000 He went from five...
00:44:16.000 What did it say?
00:44:16.000 He gained six inches.
00:44:17.000 Five six to six foot.
00:44:19.000 Okay, let me see this.
00:44:20.000 Oh, God.
00:44:21.000 He's a thicky on the left.
00:44:22.000 He gained six inches?
00:44:23.000 Yeah.
00:44:24.000 From stretching his fucking bones out?
00:44:26.000 Let me see what it says there.
00:44:28.000 How unhappy do you have to be with your body to do that?
00:44:30.000 up there nip tuck grow five foot six inch man underwent astonishing leg lengthening procedure because he wanted to be six foot tall oh he started at five six and he got up to six feet tall jeez Jesus!
00:44:45.000 But how fucking damaging is that?
00:44:48.000 Let me see, the procedure in which both legs are broken, then slowly stretched, bears more than a little resemblance to medieval torture.
00:44:57.000 Let me see what this fucking guy did to his- Oh my god!
00:45:00.000 Oh my god!
00:45:01.000 That has to be some mental health issue, yeah?
00:45:03.000 A little bit.
00:45:05.000 Well, maybe if you wanted to really play football.
00:45:07.000 The trend for limb lengthening surgery swept China, where minimum heights are often quoted on personal adverts and job advertisements as the country opened up to the West a decade ago.
00:45:18.000 Look at that fucking thing on his leg, man.
00:45:21.000 Oh my god.
00:45:22.000 So what we're looking at here, it looks like they cut an inch out of his bone, but then they have this bar that runs through it.
00:45:33.000 So that's his femur, man.
00:45:35.000 Dude, that's a terrible idea.
00:45:36.000 That's his upper leg bone.
00:45:37.000 That's not even his shin.
00:45:38.000 How do you think he's going to feel when he's 70?
00:45:40.000 That can't be good.
00:45:42.000 Oh my god.
00:45:43.000 And for what?
00:45:43.000 To be five inches taller?
00:45:45.000 Dude, get a skill.
00:45:47.000 You know what chicks dig over height?
00:45:49.000 Skill, man.
00:45:50.000 Get funny.
00:45:51.000 Get a fucking...
00:45:52.000 650 leg lengthening procedures in West Palm Beach, Florida.
00:45:58.000 Not all to remedy deformity.
00:46:00.000 Some of them to remedy deformity, which makes sense.
00:46:03.000 Now, how long do you think it takes for them to fucking recover from something like that?
00:46:06.000 A lifetime.
00:46:08.000 Oh, they have height dysphoria.
00:46:10.000 So it's sort of like anorexia with their height.
00:46:12.000 It's a mental disorder.
00:46:13.000 It's one of the few psychiatric disorders that you can actually cure with the knife.
00:46:18.000 Says the surgeon.
00:46:19.000 Oof.
00:46:20.000 Yeah, says the surgeon trying to sell this bullshit.
00:46:22.000 What a doctor uses the term knife.
00:46:23.000 Are you really using a knife, bro?
00:46:25.000 Don't you have a scalpel?
00:46:26.000 I'm probably not going to that guy.
00:46:27.000 What I can cure with a saw.
00:46:29.000 It costs 85 grand.
00:46:31.000 Look what it says he does here.
00:46:33.000 Surgery is not for the faint-hearted.
00:46:35.000 The leg bone is broken in two.
00:46:36.000 The doctor then implants a state-of-the-art telescopic rod.
00:46:41.000 Into the cartilage of the bone, which then pulls it apart very gradually, one millimeter a day.
00:46:49.000 New living bone grows along it to fill the gap in muscles and nerves.
00:46:55.000 The arteries and skin also renew themselves.
00:46:57.000 The cost is prohibitive.
00:46:58.000 $85,000 takes at least three months to complete.
00:47:01.000 Grueling physical therapy is essential.
00:47:04.000 Look at that one!
00:47:05.000 Look at the gap in his fucking leg!
00:47:07.000 Look how big that gap is!
00:47:08.000 Ah!
00:47:09.000 You ain't playing any sports.
00:47:11.000 Imagine just walking up that guy and leg kicking him.
00:47:13.000 Yeah, I was just thinking that.
00:47:15.000 Imagine if he decides to do Muay Thai.
00:47:16.000 I bet you his, like, where your leg is vulnerable has changed, right?
00:47:22.000 Dude, if your girl's a thick one.
00:47:24.000 Like, the geometry of your leg is, like, if your leg is a certain, like, if your bones are a certain width, I would imagine there's like a...
00:47:32.000 Like, it all makes sense pretty much in terms of, like, mathematics.
00:47:36.000 Like, how long your knee is, or how long your femur is, it would be a certain thickness.
00:47:42.000 But then if you spread it out, it's like the thickness of a shorter one, but now it's long, and it's probably more vulnerable.
00:47:49.000 It can't be safe, like stilt.
00:47:50.000 It's the Make Me Taller community I just found.
00:47:52.000 Oh my god.
00:47:54.000 Introduction to leg lengthening and frequently asked questions.
00:47:58.000 Holy shit.
00:47:59.000 There's only 30 posts, though, dude.
00:48:01.000 Well, that's just FAQ. This one's got 300 posts.
00:48:05.000 This is 3,000 posts down here.
00:48:07.000 Patient Diaries.
00:48:08.000 Not a ton, though.
00:48:09.000 Of what they've gone through.
00:48:11.000 I'd be more worried about lengthening my dick.
00:48:13.000 Is there a lengthening dick community?
00:48:16.000 Fuck yeah.
00:48:17.000 You know what they do?
00:48:18.000 They're all Asian.
00:48:18.000 They hang weights on...
00:48:19.000 How dare you?
00:48:20.000 What?
00:48:21.000 Racist.
00:48:21.000 No.
00:48:22.000 It's life.
00:48:23.000 There's gotta be some Asians with giant hogs out there.
00:48:26.000 I feel like we'd know about it.
00:48:28.000 Right?
00:48:28.000 Because that guy would be flaunting his shit.
00:48:32.000 Make me a longer community then?
00:48:33.000 Yeah, make me a bigger cock community.
00:48:36.000 Because there's procedures you can do to cut it, right?
00:48:39.000 Just Google, how do I get a bigger cock?
00:48:41.000 You can get a virus, bro.
00:48:43.000 You can get a virus at every porn site.
00:48:45.000 There's the pumps.
00:48:46.000 There's the pumps.
00:48:47.000 The thing is, if it was something that really worked, everybody would know about it.
00:48:56.000 Yeah, fuck yeah, dude.
00:48:58.000 Any room you walked in with a bunch of dudes like, dude, you see that new fucking device?
00:49:02.000 Get your dick bigger?
00:49:03.000 Everybody would.
00:49:04.000 See, devices and dicks, those two words don't go together.
00:49:07.000 Like a device, I think of them like clamps and screws.
00:49:10.000 Do you ever see a penis pump from Austin Powers?
00:49:13.000 I've seen one.
00:49:13.000 I've never seen one in person being used with a blown up dick inside of it.
00:49:17.000 I've never seen it being used, but I've seen one in person.
00:49:20.000 And it's very, I mean, it's intense, dude.
00:49:23.000 I've heard that some guys, especially old fellas, they use one of them penis pumps to just get hard-ons.
00:49:30.000 Oh, yeah, but it's attached to them?
00:49:31.000 No, they have that, too.
00:49:33.000 That was in Liberace, in the candelabra.
00:49:36.000 Oh, I love that movie.
00:49:37.000 That movie's so good.
00:49:38.000 When he was banging Matt Damon 24-7, Matt Damon was like, how do you stay hard?
00:49:42.000 Oh, that's right.
00:49:43.000 Got an implant.
00:49:44.000 That's right.
00:49:45.000 Yeah.
00:49:45.000 Dude, that movie's so good.
00:49:46.000 That's a crazy movie, man.
00:49:48.000 That'd be a weird movie to make if you're Matt Damon.
00:49:50.000 Because they're like, he talks about it too.
00:49:52.000 There's a scene where, spoiler alert, there's a scene where he's in a Speedo and Michael Douglas is just like laying down in the pool and he straddles him and just full on, ah, ah.
00:50:03.000 You know, Matt Damon's straight as shit.
00:50:04.000 He's playing a character.
00:50:05.000 That'd be tough though.
00:50:08.000 If Hollywood came to me and was like, Brennan, we need you to play the new Batman, but you gotta go at it with the Joker, mouth to mouth.
00:50:15.000 You guys are bumpy.
00:50:16.000 There he is in the movie.
00:50:18.000 Yeah, you'd be like, yeah.
00:50:19.000 It'd be a little bit of a struggle.
00:50:20.000 That's a hard pass.
00:50:21.000 How much do you say?
00:50:22.000 Do you think you could live in Las Vegas like that?
00:50:24.000 Do you think you could do a residency in Las Vegas?
00:50:27.000 No.
00:50:27.000 What if they offered you the big brown boom boom room?
00:50:32.000 Like the big man poo-poo room?
00:50:34.000 Like the fucking...
00:50:35.000 What is it?
00:50:36.000 Like Mandalay Bay?
00:50:37.000 Like Jay Leno type of shit?
00:50:39.000 Yeah.
00:50:39.000 We're getting 30 million a year?
00:50:40.000 Yeah, something crazy like that.
00:50:42.000 Like a Britney Spears type deal.
00:50:43.000 I don't think so.
00:50:45.000 And this is different for me.
00:50:47.000 I have such a stressful connotation when it comes to Vegas because of fighting.
00:50:53.000 Whenever I think of Vegas, I think of stress, stress, stress.
00:50:56.000 So as soon as I land in Vegas, I get all introverted and I start sweating.
00:51:00.000 It's just not...
00:51:01.000 I've done so much work there.
00:51:02.000 I was on the Ultimate Fighter there for eight weeks.
00:51:06.000 I've had some huge fights there.
00:51:07.000 So for me, when I think of Vegas, I think of chaos, like stressful, dark chaos.
00:51:13.000 So it'd be tough for me to live there for...
00:51:17.000 That'd be really tough.
00:51:19.000 Like, those people who do residency for, like, two years, could you do it?
00:51:22.000 I don't know.
00:51:24.000 Um, I don't think I could...
00:51:26.000 Well, I think the thing about Vegas is you gotta not live in Vegas.
00:51:31.000 Like, you don't wanna have, like, uh...
00:51:35.000 A suite.
00:51:36.000 Yeah, in Mandalay Bay or something like that.
00:51:38.000 I think the move is to live in like Henderson or something like that.
00:51:41.000 Like by Red Rocks?
00:51:42.000 Yeah, or one of those places.
00:51:44.000 And you just drive in.
00:51:46.000 I think that's the move.
00:51:47.000 Because then you're just living in a town.
00:51:49.000 Not even a big town.
00:51:51.000 See, I would say fuck all that noise, and I'd probably, if they offered me $30 million, I'd probably hire a Bill Burr fucking helicopter pilot type of dude, and I'd live in LA and just fly out there on Fridays.
00:52:03.000 I think it's a long flight.
00:52:05.000 No.
00:52:06.000 A helicopter?
00:52:07.000 Doesn't Tosh do something like that or used to it when he was going there?
00:52:10.000 He would just fly in like Friday night on a plane, that 25 minute flight it is.
00:52:14.000 Well, was he doing that a lot?
00:52:15.000 I think so.
00:52:16.000 Yeah, he was for a while.
00:52:17.000 Friday, Saturday or something like that.
00:52:18.000 They might stay the night, but they'd be back within 36 hours or something like that.
00:52:22.000 I cannot live there, man.
00:52:24.000 There's no way.
00:52:25.000 Just because of your past experience.
00:52:27.000 That and just in general, it's just not for me.
00:52:30.000 It's not my type of living.
00:52:31.000 Because Ralphie May had a residency there for a while.
00:52:34.000 He was doing it, but that's where he died.
00:52:37.000 I know Eddie Griffin has a residency.
00:52:39.000 Dice had a residency there for a while.
00:52:42.000 Seinfeld did, too.
00:52:43.000 I think he still does.
00:52:44.000 Seinfeld in Vegas?
00:52:46.000 Yeah.
00:52:46.000 Really?
00:52:47.000 Yeah.
00:52:48.000 It's just, there's a lot of great stuff there, right?
00:52:51.000 Like, what do you like to do?
00:52:52.000 Do you like to go to restaurants?
00:52:54.000 Great restaurants.
00:52:55.000 What do you like to do?
00:52:56.000 Do you like to go to the movie theater?
00:52:57.000 There's plenty of movies.
00:52:58.000 Great shows.
00:52:59.000 Yeah, there's plenty of gyms.
00:53:01.000 Amazing places to work out.
00:53:02.000 There's a lot of stuff there.
00:53:04.000 I just, I don't know, man.
00:53:05.000 I know.
00:53:05.000 I know that's what I'm saying.
00:53:06.000 I'm sweating talking about it.
00:53:08.000 I don't know what it is.
00:53:09.000 I just, Vegas.
00:53:10.000 I have some great friends who live in Vegas, and some of the best people I know live in Vegas.
00:53:15.000 Some of the best people I know work in the nightclubs.
00:53:17.000 You know what we need to do?
00:53:18.000 We need to sit down before big events and make a YouTube video where we're just breaking down each event, like, fight by fight as it comes up.
00:53:29.000 I think people would really enjoy that.
00:53:31.000 You and me breaking down the big fight?
00:53:34.000 Yeah, breaking down big events, you know?
00:53:36.000 Good idea.
00:53:38.000 If I didn't work for the UFC, I would love to go there and just cover the weigh-ins as a spectator.
00:53:45.000 But as unfiltered, no production, you and me just talking shit.
00:53:50.000 I don't like doing the weigh-ins.
00:53:56.000 Stressful.
00:53:56.000 I try to pronounce people's names.
00:53:59.000 Piotr Jan.
00:54:01.000 Like, what?
00:54:01.000 There couldn't be a worse job for me if you asked me to pronounce everyone's names correctly.
00:54:05.000 Some of these Russian cats, their names are off the charts.
00:54:08.000 And it starts with a G and a Z, but you gotta use a Y. Not for me.
00:54:13.000 You gotta say it like a Y. You're like, what?
00:54:15.000 Not for me.
00:54:15.000 What is the name?
00:54:17.000 Yeah, I have to write it out phonetically.
00:54:19.000 How much longer do you think you'd do that?
00:54:21.000 I don't know.
00:54:22.000 Just between me and you, no one's listening.
00:54:23.000 No one's listening.
00:54:24.000 I don't know.
00:54:24.000 I do enjoy it though.
00:54:25.000 Have you ever thought about it?
00:54:26.000 Yes.
00:54:27.000 All the time.
00:54:27.000 Really?
00:54:28.000 But why?
00:54:28.000 I cut way back.
00:54:30.000 First of all, I was doing too many of them.
00:54:32.000 At one point in time, I was doing 24 a year.
00:54:34.000 It was way too many.
00:54:34.000 It was like half the weekends in the year, I was flying somewhere to go to the UFC. But that's when you did international as well.
00:54:42.000 Yeah, it was too much.
00:54:43.000 And that was before the UFC really started adding a bunch of people, and it took a lot of the weight off of me.
00:54:51.000 I'm sad they got rid of Jimmy Smith.
00:54:53.000 I think Jimmy Smith's really good.
00:54:54.000 I think he's really good, but sometimes it's just not a fit.
00:54:58.000 I didn't find him, and maybe he didn't get his fair shot.
00:55:01.000 I think he's one of the best commentators in the world.
00:55:03.000 But it never felt right.
00:55:05.000 Maybe because he didn't get to do it enough.
00:55:07.000 He's brilliant at his job, but it never felt right to me.
00:55:13.000 It was like watching Joe Montana play for the Chiefs.
00:55:15.000 Well, I'm selfish.
00:55:16.000 He's my friend.
00:55:17.000 I was happy he was there.
00:55:18.000 I think he's really good.
00:55:19.000 I love Jimmy.
00:55:20.000 I think he's great.
00:55:22.000 I think he's going to go on since whoever finds him can be lucky.
00:55:25.000 But the writing was on the wall because you would see DC who's amazing.
00:55:29.000 I'd see Paul Felder who's amazing.
00:55:31.000 Dominic Cruz.
00:55:32.000 Michael Bisping.
00:55:33.000 It's like, well, of course Jimmy's not going to have a job.
00:55:36.000 They're going to use the in-house guys.
00:55:38.000 That's the direction they're going.
00:55:39.000 Yeah, I guess so.
00:55:43.000 I wonder if he could do play-by-play, you know, like the ones that Anik doesn't want to do.
00:55:49.000 Hey, Anik, go home to your kids.
00:55:53.000 Don't you have, like, seven daughters?
00:55:55.000 Dude, go home to your fucking kids.
00:55:57.000 John knows I love them, but I see them at Brazil, and then he'll post, like, two days of sleep, you know, been on the road 19 days in a row.
00:56:05.000 I'm like, dude, go home, bro.
00:56:07.000 You can't.
00:56:08.000 He's the best.
00:56:09.000 He's really good.
00:56:10.000 There's not a better commentating team in the history of combat sports when it's you, DC, and John Anik.
00:56:15.000 That's the best.
00:56:17.000 It's fun.
00:56:18.000 It's a fun one, too.
00:56:18.000 DC's himself, and he's one of the best fighters of all time.
00:56:23.000 Very fucking good.
00:56:24.000 He's a brilliant dude.
00:56:25.000 And then you do your thing, and that's...
00:56:27.000 He's...
00:56:28.000 DC's so loose, too.
00:56:30.000 Like, he makes it silly.
00:56:31.000 He's a special dude.
00:56:32.000 Like, when Rose knocked out Ioannion Jacek, he's like, Thug Rose!
00:56:37.000 That's what you want.
00:56:38.000 Thug Rose!
00:56:39.000 You can't pay for that.
00:56:42.000 That's natural.
00:56:43.000 That's...
00:56:43.000 You either got it, you don't, and he has it.
00:56:46.000 That's his future, man.
00:56:48.000 That's his future.
00:56:49.000 Yeah, well, that's why everybody kind of wants him to retire.
00:56:52.000 You know, that's why I think his family's kind of pushing for him to retire.
00:56:56.000 Crazy Bob Cook, he's like, I'd be happy if he retired right now.
00:56:59.000 And I don't think the UFC's going to let him retire without facing Jon Jones, the heavyweight division.
00:57:04.000 He certainly can retire if he decides to.
00:57:07.000 Mm-mm.
00:57:08.000 Not happening.
00:57:09.000 You don't think so?
00:57:09.000 Nope.
00:57:10.000 They're going to throw that big money.
00:57:10.000 Because when you sit down, and you sit down and make a deal with the devil, and they're like, yeah, you're thinking about retiring?
00:57:15.000 Very cool.
00:57:15.000 Here's the thing.
00:57:16.000 We're going to pay you this much to fight this monster.
00:57:20.000 They're going to get out that pen and go...
00:57:22.000 Yep.
00:57:23.000 And they're going to push that piece of paper across.
00:57:25.000 Dan's going to go, you're thinking about retiring?
00:57:26.000 Just do me a favor.
00:57:28.000 Just look at this.
00:57:29.000 Look at that number.
00:57:29.000 We're at Strip Steakhouse in Vegas.
00:57:31.000 We're talking about two million pay-per-view buys, and this is what you would get.
00:57:35.000 Set for life.
00:57:37.000 He's probably sat for life already.
00:57:39.000 I don't think so.
00:57:41.000 He made $4 million for Derek Lewis.
00:57:43.000 Yeah, you're not sat.
00:57:45.000 I don't think you're sat with $4 million.
00:57:47.000 Who knows how much he made for Stipe?
00:57:49.000 Who knows how much he made...
00:57:52.000 Let's say after taxes, $10 million in the bank.
00:57:55.000 Is that set?
00:57:57.000 Not where you live.
00:57:58.000 Look at that gold watch.
00:58:00.000 Get out of here.
00:58:01.000 You wear a gold watch, bro.
00:58:03.000 Dude, that's not that crazy.
00:58:04.000 Louis C.K. has a joke in his newest set about buying a gold watch.
00:58:09.000 What's he say?
00:58:10.000 I'll let you listen to it.
00:58:12.000 Me and him couldn't be more upset.
00:58:16.000 You got a gold watch, son.
00:58:17.000 A gold watch, dog.
00:58:18.000 It's a gold Rolex.
00:58:19.000 It's a fucking gold Rolex, man.
00:58:21.000 Yeah, see, that's what I'm saying.
00:58:22.000 $10 million isn't going to last for you.
00:58:24.000 No, $10 million would last for you.
00:58:26.000 I'm not that crazy.
00:58:26.000 Everyone thinks I'm crazy.
00:58:27.000 How long would it last?
00:58:28.000 For the rest of your life?
00:58:29.000 $10 million, I'd be set with my investments, stuff like that, buy property.
00:58:32.000 I'd be panicking and counting.
00:58:34.000 Well, don't get me wrong.
00:58:35.000 I wouldn't stop working.
00:58:37.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:58:38.000 What if you wanted to stop working?
00:58:40.000 I don't know.
00:58:41.000 Have you ever thought about, have you ever put a number where if I get here I can chill out on, like I don't need to do, I have 17 podcasts.
00:58:48.000 I don't need to do all that work.
00:58:50.000 I don't need to do nine sets a week at, you know, the comedy store and improv.
00:58:54.000 You do if you want to get good.
00:58:55.000 I know, but if I want to get 100%, if I want to get good at podcasts, I need to do that.
00:59:00.000 But there has to be some material level financially where I can get to where I can, all right, I can chill out on this, but I'm not built that way.
00:59:09.000 Every morning I wake up like, ah, fuck, man, we better get going.
00:59:12.000 Better get going.
00:59:13.000 I don't think about retiring because I like what I do.
00:59:17.000 So I don't think...
00:59:18.000 I don't think like, oh, I need to have X amount of money in the bank, so I'm not going to do this very much longer.
00:59:22.000 I'm not saying retiring.
00:59:24.000 I'm saying maybe cut back on all the shit you do.
00:59:27.000 I like all that stuff.
00:59:28.000 I think it keeps me from going crazy, too.
00:59:31.000 I think being active keeps me from losing my marbles.
00:59:35.000 Yeah, I feel you.
00:59:36.000 Just around the house, just all in with my demons.
00:59:39.000 Depressed.
00:59:40.000 I don't think I'd ever get depressed.
00:59:42.000 Really?
00:59:42.000 No.
00:59:42.000 I get depressed if I'm not busy.
00:59:45.000 If I'm with my son, I'm good.
00:59:46.000 But you leave me alone?
00:59:48.000 No, I'm like a gremlin after midnight.
00:59:49.000 Don't leave me alone, man.
00:59:51.000 I don't like being all by myself all the time.
00:59:53.000 Well, I have so many different interests.
00:59:57.000 Sort of one of the patterns that I've picked up my whole life is that I find things that I like to do and I do them as much as I can.
01:00:07.000 I mean, I have so many different things, whether it's archery or martial arts.
01:00:13.000 I'd join the fucking pro pool tour.
01:00:16.000 I would do something.
01:00:17.000 See, but everything you're talking about, what you're good about, too, though, is you're doing that with friends.
01:00:22.000 Some of your friends are the best in the world at those things you just mentioned.
01:00:24.000 So it goes hand in hand.
01:00:26.000 That helps.
01:00:27.000 Well, yeah, if you were alone with no friends, that shit is very depressing.
01:00:30.000 That's when I can get a little dark.
01:00:32.000 My brother goes on the road to me all the time.
01:00:35.000 I've done tons of dates.
01:00:36.000 And when he's not with me and I'm in that room all by myself for like three or four days, I'm like, oh, I'm not happy, man.
01:00:43.000 I'm not doing well.
01:00:44.000 I don't know.
01:00:45.000 It's probably something I need to talk to someone about, but I don't know.
01:00:48.000 That is a depressing thing when you're alone on the road.
01:00:51.000 I used to do those gigs on the road with no opening act.
01:00:55.000 Way back in the day.
01:00:56.000 Yeah, that's what I do.
01:00:57.000 And I would work with a local guy, and it was just not fun.
01:00:59.000 If the local guy was cool, it was great.
01:01:01.000 We had a good old time, and it was fun.
01:01:05.000 And you know, I like everybody, but I'm all set on friends, so if you're not in my group, I don't want to spend time.
01:01:13.000 I'm not going to go to eat with you.
01:01:14.000 I'll see you at the venue, man.
01:01:16.000 I don't want to get to know each other.
01:01:18.000 You don't want to get to know anybody?
01:01:19.000 No.
01:01:19.000 No, not really.
01:01:20.000 Your book's closed.
01:01:22.000 It's a lot of energy, man.
01:01:23.000 I talk for a living.
01:01:25.000 If you didn't have to work ever again, what would you do with your time?
01:01:29.000 What if, say, you hit the lottery, you won $500 million, you never have to work again?
01:01:34.000 I'd still do stand-up and podcasting.
01:01:36.000 Really?
01:01:37.000 Guaranteed, yeah.
01:01:38.000 I like being stupid busy.
01:01:41.000 Theo and I have a new podcast.
01:01:43.000 I didn't need to do that.
01:01:44.000 I already have my show on Showtime.
01:01:45.000 But yet you did need to do that.
01:01:47.000 Because I love doing it.
01:01:49.000 It's not for a financial thing.
01:01:50.000 It works good.
01:01:51.000 I love Theo by himself.
01:01:53.000 His podcast by himself is really good.
01:01:55.000 He's better with other people.
01:01:57.000 Because other people get to respond to how ridiculous he is.
01:02:01.000 Out of this world ridiculous.
01:02:03.000 Half the fun is people going, what the fuck are you talking about?
01:02:06.000 It's some crazy shit.
01:02:08.000 It's some crazy shit.
01:02:09.000 Me and him talked about doing it for a long time, doing the King of the Sting, a long time.
01:02:13.000 We even made an announcement, and then months later, just because he's a busy guy, I'm a busy guy, and it's like, we don't need to do this.
01:02:21.000 Are you the Sting?
01:02:22.000 He's the rat king.
01:02:23.000 Yeah, because he called me.
01:02:24.000 He says I look like I got stung by a bunch of bees because I'm like swollen.
01:02:27.000 And I called him.
01:02:28.000 I said it looks like he, you know, keeps rats or something like that.
01:02:32.000 So I called him the rat king and then just stuck.
01:02:34.000 And then king of the sting.
01:02:35.000 And it's been going great, man.
01:02:37.000 It's been going great.
01:02:38.000 It's so different than what Callan and I do.
01:02:40.000 And people are like, oh, fire the kid.
01:02:42.000 It's coming to an end.
01:02:42.000 No, it's fucking not.
01:02:43.000 Come on.
01:02:44.000 Finding Kid's never been bigger, man.
01:02:46.000 You can't pay attention.
01:02:46.000 Every month, it builds.
01:02:47.000 I don't know why, but every month, it builds, builds, builds.
01:02:50.000 Me and Cal are doing great, but there's the Rat King.
01:02:52.000 That's what he looks like.
01:02:54.000 This is the Turtles cartoon.
01:02:56.000 Dude, we have a segment on the show called Flaunt My Aunt, and people send in pictures of their ants, and we roast them.
01:03:07.000 You don't show the picture online, do you?
01:03:10.000 We sure do, sir.
01:03:11.000 Oh, no.
01:03:13.000 It's not all bad things.
01:03:14.000 Some girl sent a picture of her uncle, and she's like, yo, talk about my uncle.
01:03:20.000 He always tries to be positive, and I take it down a weird road, but it's great.
01:03:24.000 Someone sent a picture of their aunt from the 1950s.
01:03:27.000 Was she hot?
01:03:28.000 Pretty hot.
01:03:29.000 Our producer, Chin, showed his aunt, and she was hot as fuck.
01:03:34.000 1950s hot was different.
01:03:36.000 Black and white.
01:03:36.000 Mushy.
01:03:37.000 There we are.
01:03:37.000 Talking about somebody's fucking...
01:03:39.000 That someone's old on.
01:03:40.000 75 years old.
01:03:44.000 You guys have a nice set.
01:03:45.000 Where's your set?
01:03:46.000 Is it in the same complex where you do Fighter and the Kid?
01:03:49.000 No, so it's in Santa Monica and it's the company that produced called Malka and they do all my Showtime stuff.
01:04:00.000 So Showtime with Brian Daly and those guys...
01:04:03.000 We want to make it as easy as possible because you have all these shows.
01:04:06.000 We don't want you driving all over.
01:04:08.000 So they just, at a very much smaller scale than this, basically did like a Joe Rogan style where they built me a set where it's kind of like my Fantasyland.
01:04:15.000 So I have all my Below the Showtime stuff there.
01:04:18.000 I have King of the Sting there.
01:04:19.000 What's with the Bumblebee colors?
01:04:21.000 The Charlie Brown colors?
01:04:22.000 I don't know.
01:04:23.000 We had a set designer there.
01:04:23.000 I'm like, all right, well, we're not huge Charlie Brown fans.
01:04:26.000 It's two on the nose.
01:04:27.000 Black and yellow.
01:04:28.000 It's like a bee.
01:04:29.000 Sting.
01:04:29.000 It's a little weird.
01:04:30.000 It's two on the nose.
01:04:31.000 Ah, I see.
01:04:32.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:04:33.000 You're very fashion conscious, though.
01:04:34.000 Oh, dude, that stuff would drive me nuts.
01:04:36.000 I was going to say, last night, you were dressed, and you dressed up, man.
01:04:40.000 I dressed up.
01:04:40.000 You look pretty fucking fly.
01:04:42.000 Do you see him, Jamie?
01:04:44.000 You look pretty dope.
01:04:45.000 You were on stage.
01:04:46.000 I looked at Brian and said, fuck, look at Rogan with the swaggy tonight.
01:04:49.000 Drip drip, son.
01:04:50.000 Beautiful.
01:04:51.000 Drip drip.
01:04:51.000 It was good looking.
01:04:52.000 Damn, look good, dude.
01:04:55.000 Those two dress horrible.
01:04:56.000 Do they?
01:04:57.000 Theo's the worst dressed person I know.
01:04:59.000 Brian just doesn't give a fuck.
01:05:01.000 Theo wears those pants with rubber bands on the bottom of them.
01:05:05.000 Parachute pants.
01:05:06.000 Like their mom, vegan pants.
01:05:08.000 Vegan pants?
01:05:09.000 Yeah, he wears vegan pants.
01:05:10.000 What does that mean?
01:05:11.000 They're just some bullshit pants.
01:05:15.000 He wears those Me Too movement pants.
01:05:17.000 They're just so non-alpha male.
01:05:20.000 That's just what he wears.
01:05:21.000 That's his style.
01:05:22.000 They taper down the bottom and then there's elastic that holds him up like six inches away from his shoe.
01:05:27.000 It's very yoga mom-ish.
01:05:30.000 Then he wears weird shoes and then he'll wear like Nike shoes with Reebok socks.
01:05:35.000 Drives me fucking nuts.
01:05:37.000 That drives you nuts?
01:05:38.000 Nuts.
01:05:38.000 Really?
01:05:39.000 Nuts, dude.
01:05:40.000 I did that the other day.
01:05:41.000 No, you didn't.
01:05:41.000 Yes, I did.
01:05:42.000 I had a pair of Converse with a pair of Adidas socks.
01:05:44.000 Ah, dude!
01:05:45.000 And I was thinking about it before I left, and I'm like, no one's gonna know.
01:05:48.000 Oh, if I, dude, Jamie, do you come from the same, like, if you did that at my school, you wouldn't have got out alive by fifth period.
01:05:58.000 There's a word for it.
01:06:00.000 Mismatched?
01:06:01.000 Ah, like, perpen maybe?
01:06:03.000 I don't know.
01:06:03.000 There's like a word when you fucked up.
01:06:05.000 Dumbass?
01:06:05.000 Yeah, it was like an early 90s thing, I remember.
01:06:07.000 Yeah, it just wasn't my thing.
01:06:11.000 Yeah, but it's a good time.
01:06:13.000 And what Theo and I tried to do is something completely different.
01:06:17.000 It's not like open-ended conversation.
01:06:19.000 There's no guest.
01:06:21.000 It's just, it's all segments.
01:06:22.000 Right.
01:06:23.000 King or Sting It, and it's all fan submissions.
01:06:25.000 So people upload videos, go, yo, Burger King or McDonald's?
01:06:28.000 I mean, him debate McDonald's, Burger King, or Flauntmont, send your picture.
01:06:32.000 Do you have a preference between Burger King and McDonald's?
01:06:35.000 I'm a Burger King guy.
01:06:36.000 A Whopper with cheese.
01:06:37.000 They both taste like shit.
01:06:37.000 Well, I didn't say either one's healthy, but they're fucking...
01:06:39.000 They taste like shit.
01:06:40.000 Dude, a Whopper with cheese?
01:06:42.000 What do you like, fast food?
01:06:44.000 You have to choose between Wendy's and Burger King right next to each other.
01:06:47.000 Burger King all day.
01:06:48.000 Whopper with cheese, ketchup only, bro.
01:06:51.000 That's outrageous.
01:06:52.000 You went Wendy's?
01:06:53.000 Of course.
01:06:54.000 Dude, they're square patties, you ice as fucks.
01:06:57.000 So?
01:06:57.000 Square?
01:06:57.000 You got a problem with shapes?
01:06:58.000 Yeah!
01:06:59.000 The square patties?
01:07:01.000 You like square pizza too or slices?
01:07:03.000 I don't give a fuck as long as it tastes good.
01:07:05.000 I'm not worried about shapes.
01:07:06.000 Come on, bro.
01:07:07.000 You're so fashion conscious.
01:07:08.000 That drives me nuts.
01:07:09.000 You should have been a gay guy in another life.
01:07:12.000 Probably, right?
01:07:13.000 That's why I stopped fighting.
01:07:14.000 You're the straightest fashion conscious guy I know.
01:07:18.000 Yeah, I don't know why.
01:07:19.000 It's interesting, right?
01:07:20.000 You're really into looks and fashion and trends and stuff.
01:07:24.000 You pay attention.
01:07:25.000 You're the only guy that I know that does that.
01:07:26.000 I've had my outfit picked up for my special Saturday for three weeks now.
01:07:30.000 Wow.
01:07:31.000 I went through constantly thinking.
01:07:33.000 Constantly thinking, what am I going to do?
01:07:34.000 You should have a tiger come out in a cage like Cat Williams.
01:07:38.000 Just over the top.
01:07:38.000 Yeah.
01:07:39.000 Just go nuts.
01:07:40.000 Have a fur coat and have some chicks take the fur coat off you when you get on stage.
01:07:44.000 The set's a little outrageous.
01:07:46.000 Do you have a crazy set?
01:07:47.000 Not crazy, but I'm like, oh, that's very...
01:07:50.000 It's very Kevin Hart-ish.
01:07:52.000 Nice.
01:07:53.000 When they sit there, they're like, alright, that'll work.
01:07:55.000 Are you excited?
01:07:56.000 Yeah, I can't wait, man.
01:07:58.000 That's fucking awesome, man.
01:07:59.000 Yeah, I've never been more excited.
01:08:00.000 So the same night that you are doing your Showtime special, TJ Dillashaw is fighting Henry Cejudo.
01:08:06.000 Who else is on that card?
01:08:07.000 Pull that card up.
01:08:08.000 Good card, man.
01:08:08.000 It's the first card ever for ESPN+. Yeah, ESPN+. So it's a streaming thing.
01:08:15.000 You watch Cowboy Cerrone, though, on regular ESPN. Oh, okay.
01:08:19.000 He's the main event on the regular ESPN. So it's weird because the prelims are on the digital device.
01:08:25.000 Then it goes regular ESPN for the Donald Cerrone fight.
01:08:29.000 Then you've got to switch back to the digital.
01:08:31.000 It's going to take a little while for people to get used to that.
01:08:33.000 Well, some people are super bummed out.
01:08:35.000 My friend Brian Stevens, he lives in rural Texas outside of Dallas.
01:08:39.000 And he's bummed out because his internet's not that fast.
01:08:43.000 It's like, you know, in certain places, you can't get fast internet.
01:08:46.000 Really?
01:08:47.000 In 2019, he can't get Wi-Fi?
01:08:50.000 If you want to live on a ranch.
01:08:52.000 Don't live on a fucking ranch.
01:08:53.000 You're going to get slow Wi-Fi.
01:08:55.000 Fuck, bro.
01:08:56.000 They can do some stuff.
01:08:59.000 They can do some stuff, right?
01:09:01.000 Well, you can if you really want to be...
01:09:05.000 Ballin'.
01:09:06.000 You gotta spend a lot of money.
01:09:07.000 It took four months for us to get legit internet at the old place.
01:09:11.000 They had to chew up the streets.
01:09:12.000 We were in the Canoga Park area, which has all these businesses.
01:09:18.000 Yeah, it's pretty legit there.
01:09:21.000 It's a grind to get legit internet in some spots.
01:09:24.000 So homeboy can't get it, so he's bummed out?
01:09:27.000 They used to be able to watch all the good fights on regular TV. So here we go.
01:09:35.000 Gregor Gillespie versus Yancey Medeiros.
01:09:37.000 Gregor Gillespie is, that guy is a fucking beast.
01:09:41.000 Minus 550. You look at it, yeah, he's an overwhelming favorite.
01:09:46.000 That could be five of the night.
01:09:48.000 I love how you skip over the Greg Hardy.
01:09:49.000 We all recognize this bullshit.
01:09:51.000 And then let's keep going.
01:09:52.000 Well, is it bullshit?
01:09:52.000 I mean, the guy's got fucking serious power.
01:09:55.000 Does he?
01:09:56.000 He's fought Cairns.
01:09:57.000 He's 3-0.
01:09:58.000 So on the ESPN card, he's the co-main event?
01:10:00.000 Well, it's because of his name.
01:10:03.000 Well, Alan Crowder.
01:10:04.000 I don't know him.
01:10:05.000 I don't know who Alan Crowder is.
01:10:08.000 And he's Greg Hardy's giant favorite.
01:10:12.000 600. Yeah.
01:10:14.000 He's minus 600. Wait a minute.
01:10:16.000 He calls himself the Prince of War.
01:10:18.000 Hey, bro.
01:10:19.000 Whoa.
01:10:19.000 No, he doesn't.
01:10:20.000 Yes, he does.
01:10:20.000 Greg, the Prince of War Hardy.
01:10:22.000 Wow.
01:10:23.000 Don't do that.
01:10:24.000 Do not.
01:10:25.000 Absolutely do not do that.
01:10:27.000 Do not do that.
01:10:27.000 These nicknames are so bad.
01:10:30.000 Like, someone needs, like, a nickname coach.
01:10:32.000 The UFC should provide...
01:10:33.000 You know how they have, like, the athletes, the performance center where the athletes get to go?
01:10:38.000 Yeah, nickname center.
01:10:38.000 Yeah, they should have a nickname center.
01:10:40.000 Like, Gregor the Gift Gillespie, that's a good name.
01:10:43.000 Dude, all triple G's.
01:10:44.000 That motherfucker can wrestle.
01:10:46.000 Holy shit, can he wrestle.
01:10:47.000 He can fish, too.
01:10:48.000 Yeah, he's a good fisherman.
01:10:49.000 Yeah.
01:10:51.000 He's a fucking serious wrestler, though.
01:10:53.000 This is a good fight.
01:10:54.000 Dustin Ortiz and Benavidez is a good fight.
01:10:56.000 Yeah.
01:10:57.000 They did fight before, and Benavidez won, right?
01:11:00.000 Yeah.
01:11:01.000 Benavidez is a motherfucker.
01:11:02.000 Yeah.
01:11:03.000 Love Benavidez.
01:11:04.000 Glover Teixeira and Carl Roberson.
01:11:06.000 That's a good fight.
01:11:07.000 Carl Roberson is a fucking beast, man.
01:11:10.000 Interesting nickname.
01:11:11.000 I guess you say Roberson.
01:11:12.000 Roberson.
01:11:13.000 Carl Baby K. Roberson.
01:11:14.000 Yeah, that motherfucker can fight.
01:11:17.000 He is good.
01:11:18.000 Strike-ins very good.
01:11:19.000 Yeah, he hurt his foot in his last fight.
01:11:22.000 Like, early on, but this is a big step up for him.
01:11:25.000 Clover's getting a little long in the tooth, yeah?
01:11:27.000 A lot long in the tooth, but he's still tough as shit.
01:11:30.000 If that goes to the ground, it could get dicey.
01:11:34.000 And then the next one, boys, get your dicks out.
01:11:36.000 Paige Van Zandt and Rachel Ostevich.
01:11:40.000 Both dimey, dimeys of all dimeys.
01:11:42.000 They're better looking than the ring card girls.
01:11:44.000 Well, Ostevich has the most ridonkulous body.
01:11:49.000 And her face is ridiculous.
01:11:50.000 She's beautiful, too.
01:11:51.000 She is...
01:11:52.000 She's so beautiful, but her body is so ridiculous.
01:11:54.000 It's like, are you a person?
01:11:56.000 God.
01:11:57.000 Yeah.
01:11:57.000 I'd risk it all for that girl.
01:11:59.000 And then you got Paige Van Zandt.
01:12:03.000 Why does it say 155?
01:12:05.000 She's not 155. That's a typo.
01:12:06.000 Come on, UFC. God damn it.
01:12:08.000 Get your fucking people on this website.
01:12:10.000 God damn it.
01:12:10.000 Someone's an asshole.
01:12:11.000 They want to make fun of her.
01:12:12.000 She's 155!
01:12:14.000 They could also do a better picture of her.
01:12:16.000 Some girl who works for the girlfriend of the web designers.
01:12:19.000 Like, my rate is 155. She's fatter than me.
01:12:23.000 I'm 45, but she's 55. Yeah, she's easy on the ice, too.
01:12:30.000 Yeah, she's beautiful.
01:12:31.000 Yeah, they're both gorgeous women.
01:12:32.000 It's crazy, though, that Ostevich coming off of that domestic violence thing.
01:12:37.000 Have you seen the video of that?
01:12:38.000 No.
01:12:39.000 It's disturbing.
01:12:40.000 It's her husband saying he's going to kill her.
01:12:41.000 Sigh.
01:12:43.000 It's super disturbing.
01:12:45.000 If you need security, Rachel, I am here for you.
01:12:48.000 So sad.
01:12:50.000 They have kids together, too.
01:12:52.000 It's just so fucked up.
01:12:53.000 It's super dark.
01:12:54.000 But to put her on the card with Greg Hardy, that was a giant, a lot of people criticizing that.
01:12:59.000 And the UFC does not give a fuck.
01:13:02.000 Well, the thing is that Greg Hardy was on the card.
01:13:06.000 The card was set before she got assaulted by her husband.
01:13:10.000 So it was already in place.
01:13:12.000 She was supposed to be on the card.
01:13:13.000 They pulled her from the card when they thought that she had a broken orbital bone.
01:13:17.000 I mean, it's a gigantic catastrophe.
01:13:34.000 A horrible...
01:13:37.000 Dilemma in her life.
01:13:38.000 It's hard not to root for her husband hits her beats her up.
01:13:41.000 It's it's awful and she's like I'm not gonna let this guy Stop my career.
01:13:46.000 I'm not gonna let this guy change the path of my life.
01:13:48.000 I'm done with him I want to fight and she begged them to let her fight and I'm just saying if I'm the UFC I go, alright, Greg Hardy, he's not a big drawl.
01:13:57.000 He's not a veteran.
01:13:58.000 There's nothing going on here.
01:14:00.000 Let's just move him to any other fucking card we have.
01:14:03.000 We're sensitive to this.
01:14:05.000 No one's tuned in just, and it's not a big deal.
01:14:08.000 Move him to the next card.
01:14:09.000 I think they want some controversy.
01:14:12.000 I think they like controversy.
01:14:14.000 I think any sort of press, and they live and die by this, negative press is good press.
01:14:18.000 With the Jon Jones thing, they don't give a fuck.
01:14:20.000 How about the Conor Khabib thing?
01:14:22.000 They kept showing him throwing the dolly at the bus.
01:14:25.000 They kept showing it over and over again in the promos.
01:14:27.000 And to their point, it kind of works.
01:14:29.000 Fuck yeah, it worked.
01:14:30.000 That was a giant pay-per-view.
01:14:32.000 I mean, that was giant.
01:14:34.000 It works.
01:14:35.000 So you can't...
01:14:36.000 This one's a little different, like throwing a dolly through the window with other professional fighters.
01:14:40.000 Alright, whatever.
01:14:40.000 I watched that.
01:14:41.000 I hyped that shit too.
01:14:42.000 With this one, I can't.
01:14:43.000 I just can't.
01:14:44.000 I'm out.
01:14:45.000 I'm not hyping it.
01:14:46.000 I can't get on board for it.
01:14:47.000 Well, it's not like Ostovich is fighting her boyfriend or husband.
01:14:51.000 It'd be cool if she was.
01:14:52.000 I think he's a fighter, so I could be trouble.
01:14:54.000 He is a fighter.
01:14:55.000 Yeah, okay.
01:14:55.000 Probably not.
01:14:56.000 Looks pretty jacked.
01:14:57.000 Yeah, it's trouble.
01:14:58.000 Not good.
01:14:58.000 The whole thing's so ugly.
01:15:00.000 It's tough.
01:15:01.000 What are the fights?
01:15:03.000 Cowboy.
01:15:04.000 Oh, that's right.
01:15:05.000 Alexander Hernandez is a fucking beast.
01:15:08.000 That is a good fight.
01:15:10.000 That guy is super cocky, too.
01:15:13.000 Alexander the Great Hernandez.
01:15:14.000 He is a bad motherfucker.
01:15:17.000 Cowboy being cowboy, just taking random-ass fights.
01:15:20.000 Yeah, well this is Hernandez's first fight in the big leagues.
01:15:25.000 Let me look at his record.
01:15:27.000 Did I show his record?
01:15:28.000 Count one.
01:15:29.000 No, but I mean, look at it.
01:15:30.000 The actual fights.
01:15:31.000 Does it show who he's fought?
01:15:32.000 No.
01:15:32.000 They don't have that on the web.
01:15:34.000 What?
01:15:34.000 He hasn't fought anyone nowhere near.
01:15:36.000 They don't have that on the website?
01:15:38.000 Come on.
01:15:38.000 Not on the fight card, I don't believe.
01:15:40.000 But maybe on here.
01:15:41.000 Yeah, here.
01:15:41.000 On his page, they do.
01:15:43.000 Wow.
01:15:44.000 How weird.
01:15:45.000 I mean, he beat Darius.
01:15:46.000 Yeah, he fought Aubame Mercier.
01:15:49.000 But Darius is a motherfucker and he starched him.
01:15:52.000 Mm-hmm.
01:15:53.000 Yeah, he starts Dariush and he beat Aubin-Mercier.
01:15:56.000 Those are two really good fighters.
01:15:59.000 But the way he beat Dariush, I was like, holy shit.
01:16:03.000 He's fast as fuck.
01:16:05.000 He's got serious power.
01:16:07.000 He's really technical, too.
01:16:09.000 And he's really hungry.
01:16:11.000 He views this cowboy fight as the breakout opportunity for him.
01:16:14.000 Yeah, he's a young line, man.
01:16:16.000 Yeah, he's got real future championship potential.
01:16:20.000 He's one of those guys you look at, you go, let's see.
01:16:22.000 Yeah, there's some tools there.
01:16:24.000 And with Cowboy, it's just like, makes zero sense in the world, but Cowboy just wants to stay active.
01:16:31.000 He's a savage, man.
01:16:32.000 He just loves it.
01:16:34.000 And you know what, man?
01:16:36.000 I mean, if you look at his last fight against Perry, he's still fighting smooth and smart.
01:16:41.000 He looked fantastic in that fight.
01:16:43.000 He looked great.
01:16:43.000 Short work of Perry.
01:16:45.000 Yep.
01:16:45.000 Perry's a dangerous guy.
01:16:47.000 Powerful guy.
01:16:48.000 Cowboy gonna cowboy, man.
01:16:49.000 It's very interesting.
01:16:50.000 Very interesting fight.
01:16:52.000 That might be one of the fights that I'm most curious about.
01:16:56.000 Oh, for sure.
01:16:57.000 For sure.
01:16:57.000 Yeah.
01:16:58.000 I'll tell you who's a motherfucker.
01:17:00.000 You should go down the first kid.
01:17:01.000 And I've seen this kid since he walked in the gym at 13, Corey Sandhagen.
01:17:06.000 He came into Aurora High Altitude when I was fighting, and he was a basketball player in high school.
01:17:11.000 And came in there, and he is a motherfucker.
01:17:15.000 He is damn good.
01:17:16.000 He's supposed to fight John Lineker, but John got hurt.
01:17:19.000 But this kid is, stand-up-wise, super special.
01:17:22.000 5'11", 135. That's a tall gentleman for that weight class.
01:17:26.000 He's a protege of Christian Allen.
01:17:28.000 This kid has skills, man.
01:17:29.000 Damn.
01:17:30.000 I'm looking forward to that.
01:17:30.000 I know nothing about Mario Batista.
01:17:33.000 I have nothing about him.
01:17:34.000 See if you can find a video of Corey fighting.
01:17:36.000 Corey Sanhagen.
01:17:38.000 His movement.
01:17:39.000 You'll see how fluid his movement is and how unorthodox he is.
01:17:42.000 And he's good in all areas.
01:17:44.000 The one downfall might be his wrestling, but he's fucking good, man.
01:17:48.000 Yeah, it's a fun time right now for up-and-coming talent.
01:17:53.000 There's so many good guys.
01:17:54.000 The best.
01:17:54.000 As far as combat sports, including boxing and MMA, and the business we're in, there couldn't be a better time.
01:18:00.000 I know, right?
01:18:01.000 It's crazy.
01:18:01.000 The best.
01:18:02.000 It's amazing.
01:18:02.000 It's a male soap opera.
01:18:04.000 I always have something to talk about.
01:18:06.000 The only thing that's left out is kickboxing.
01:18:08.000 Kickboxing still is not getting any traction.
01:18:10.000 You know what?
01:18:10.000 It's just like jiu-jitsu.
01:18:12.000 It's never going to just blow up these other sports.
01:18:15.000 But why not?
01:18:15.000 It's the way the world is, Joe.
01:18:17.000 No one gives a fuck.
01:18:18.000 I'm sad.
01:18:20.000 That's the one thing that I think is missing, is kickboxing blowing up.
01:18:24.000 Again, I love combat sports, but I'm not going to jump to my couch to watch kickboxing or jiu-jitsu.
01:18:31.000 Really?
01:18:31.000 And I love jiu-jitsu, but I'm not going to...
01:18:34.000 If there was a big kickboxing card...
01:18:37.000 Like, I watched Overeem Badahari.
01:18:40.000 Didn't we go to see Joe Schilling fight together?
01:18:42.000 Did you come with me to that event?
01:18:43.000 I didn't go with you.
01:18:44.000 You didn't go with that.
01:18:45.000 Oh, speaking of that, Coker texted me last night.
01:18:47.000 I didn't get back to him.
01:18:48.000 Sorry, Scott.
01:18:49.000 Oh, Fedor.
01:18:49.000 Yeah, he's like, dude, you in for Fedor Bader?
01:18:51.000 I didn't get back to him yet, either.
01:18:52.000 I was going to ask you.
01:18:53.000 Yeah, I was waiting to ask you.
01:18:54.000 Do you want to go?
01:18:55.000 Should we go?
01:18:56.000 I'll go.
01:18:56.000 Is it next weekend?
01:18:57.000 It's the 26th, the weekend after your event.
01:19:01.000 It's at the forum.
01:19:02.000 I feel like we should go to see Fedor fight live.
01:19:06.000 Me too, because especially if he loses, it's probably the last time.
01:19:08.000 Well, it's just the opportunity to see if there's five all-time greatest fighters in history, he's on that list.
01:19:16.000 Have you been to a live Fedor?
01:19:17.000 Never.
01:19:18.000 I've been to two.
01:19:19.000 When he fought Ronnie Coleman, Vegas.
01:19:21.000 And then I worked at the Bellator when he fought Mitrione.
01:19:26.000 Here's Sanhagen.
01:19:27.000 God, he's so tall for 35. He looks like a vegan.
01:19:34.000 See how smooth he is when he switches?
01:19:36.000 He got lit up there.
01:19:38.000 But he's very smooth, man.
01:19:40.000 Oh, he fought Yuri Alcantara?
01:19:42.000 That's a tough one.
01:19:43.000 Woo!
01:19:43.000 Jesus!
01:19:44.000 Oh, this is one of the rounds of the year.
01:19:46.000 He gets in trouble, and you think he's submitted.
01:19:48.000 I think his arm snapped.
01:19:48.000 Oh, my God.
01:19:49.000 Look at his arm.
01:19:51.000 He goes on to win this fight, I'm pretty sure.
01:19:53.000 Jesus Christ.
01:19:55.000 Oh, my God.
01:19:56.000 How does he not tap here?
01:19:58.000 This is crazy.
01:19:59.000 He's triangled.
01:20:01.000 He's in a full-on arm bar.
01:20:04.000 I mean, he's getting his arm fucked up.
01:20:06.000 He gets out of this.
01:20:07.000 Oh, my God.
01:20:08.000 How does he get out of this?
01:20:10.000 I have no idea.
01:20:11.000 What heart?
01:20:14.000 Yeah, he has a special talent.
01:20:15.000 Oh my god.
01:20:16.000 He's got some rubber arms!
01:20:17.000 Look at his arm!
01:20:19.000 His arm looks broken, man.
01:20:20.000 Yeah, he's in trouble.
01:20:20.000 That looks broken.
01:20:21.000 Look at it.
01:20:22.000 Look how far it's bent back.
01:20:24.000 And I'm surprised the ref didn't stop.
01:20:25.000 Oh!
01:20:26.000 I'm surprised the ref didn't stop it.
01:20:28.000 Bro.
01:20:28.000 Oh, no, no, no.
01:20:28.000 It's turned sideways now.
01:20:30.000 See the way his wrist is?
01:20:31.000 Yep.
01:20:32.000 That's actually going with the joint.
01:20:34.000 Because he's doing this now.
01:20:36.000 So he's actually in way better shape now.
01:20:39.000 And he's bleeding now.
01:20:39.000 Oh, now he's fucked.
01:20:40.000 Oh, no.
01:20:41.000 But he bent it down.
01:20:42.000 Dude, he's safe.
01:20:44.000 He's actually doing very good with his defense.
01:20:48.000 Well, his shoulder's not in danger there.
01:20:51.000 He's doing very good with defense.
01:20:53.000 Look, he's getting cut up from this.
01:20:55.000 This is incredible.
01:20:56.000 Yeah, he controls the leg so he can escape.
01:20:58.000 Oh my god, this is horrific to watch.
01:21:02.000 How does he get out of this?
01:21:04.000 That's incredible.
01:21:06.000 Alcantara's got to be like, what the fuck?
01:21:09.000 How does that guy not tap?
01:21:10.000 That'll break your will.
01:21:11.000 When you do all that and he's still there, look at him beating his ass.
01:21:14.000 And then he's smashing you.
01:21:15.000 And then you're tired.
01:21:16.000 And you realize, oh my god, I should have tried to choke him.
01:21:19.000 He should have committed to the triangle.
01:21:21.000 I mean, the triangle is fully locked in.
01:21:23.000 Dude, that arm bar was nasty.
01:21:25.000 It was nasty.
01:21:26.000 But triangles put you to sleep.
01:21:28.000 The thing about arm bars is you can let your arm snap.
01:21:32.000 You really can, and guys have.
01:21:34.000 There's some crazy savages out there that will let you break their arm.
01:21:37.000 A lot of times they stop it, though.
01:21:38.000 But when you get put to sleep, you get put to sleep.
01:21:41.000 Yeah, your triangle better be fucking good, especially this day.
01:21:44.000 When's the last time I saw a guy get a triangle besides fucking Brian Ortega?
01:21:47.000 Like, the triangle better be goddamn good, man.
01:21:49.000 Guys are so good with their defense with triangles these days.
01:21:52.000 Yeah.
01:21:54.000 Triangles aren't that good, though.
01:21:56.000 Especially, you know, Corey's a black belt.
01:21:57.000 Right, but it's like, whose triangle is that good?
01:22:03.000 Triangle defense or triangle submissions?
01:22:05.000 Ortega's probably the best in the UFC. He's the best.
01:22:07.000 Yeah, T-City.
01:22:08.000 Triangle City.
01:22:09.000 That's what it stands for.
01:22:10.000 People have seen him in the Max Holloway fight.
01:22:14.000 If you've only seen him fight in that fight, God, you've got to go back and watch him.
01:22:18.000 His submissions are so nasty.
01:22:19.000 That's flying triangles.
01:22:22.000 San Hagen.
01:22:23.000 Is it Hagen?
01:22:24.000 San Hagen or San Hagen?
01:22:25.000 San Hagen.
01:22:26.000 San Hagen is just smashing down on them.
01:22:28.000 Alcantara seems spent.
01:22:30.000 Again, came into the gym, basketball player, no experience.
01:22:33.000 That's crazy.
01:22:35.000 At 13?
01:22:36.000 Young.
01:22:37.000 Yeah, but see, the 13-year-olds, they just learn shit.
01:22:40.000 Yeah, just think about 13, walk in the gym, and you have this work ethic from basketball, and you're like, oh, I'll try this stuff out.
01:22:46.000 And you walk in the gym, you've got Christian Allen, who's a ninja, and And then he just downloads all his experience into you.
01:22:52.000 And you're like, alright.
01:22:52.000 And then you're in the fucking UFC. Amazing.
01:22:55.000 And he was going to be an underdog against John Lineker.
01:22:58.000 And he would have beat Lineker, man.
01:23:00.000 Dude, he's smashing Alcantara.
01:23:03.000 How does this fight end?
01:23:05.000 Do you remember?
01:23:06.000 Corey wins.
01:23:08.000 He's beating the fuck out of Alcantara.
01:23:10.000 I think he had a bonus for that night.
01:23:12.000 You'll think Alcantara is probably...
01:23:14.000 After all that, he's like, Jesus Christ, dude.
01:23:16.000 He's not even defending himself well.
01:23:19.000 He's exhausted from trying to blow out his goddamn shoulder.
01:23:22.000 The way he's defending himself.
01:23:24.000 Look at what he's doing.
01:23:25.000 It's almost like he's confused that the guy's still there and that he's pounding on him now.
01:23:31.000 Look at this.
01:23:32.000 He must be exhausted.
01:23:35.000 He emptied his gas tank.
01:23:38.000 He's getting fucked up.
01:23:40.000 He's getting fucked up.
01:23:42.000 He doesn't seem like he can move right.
01:23:44.000 No, he's so exhausted, man.
01:23:48.000 He's trying for that Noguera sweep.
01:23:50.000 The deep half.
01:23:51.000 Yep.
01:23:52.000 Knowing better.
01:23:54.000 Yeah, man.
01:23:54.000 That's interesting.
01:23:55.000 And that is on what?
01:23:57.000 Is that on Fight Pass?
01:23:58.000 Some of them are on Fight Pass?
01:23:59.000 No, no Fight Pass.
01:24:00.000 This is on ESPN+. So it goes ESPN +, then you gotta jump to regular ESPN to watch Cowboy, then you gotta jump back to the digital platform to watch the rest of the card.
01:24:09.000 What?
01:24:10.000 Terrible idea, whoever did that.
01:24:12.000 Really?
01:24:12.000 Terrible idea.
01:24:13.000 Really?
01:24:14.000 Terrible idea.
01:24:14.000 Back and forth?
01:24:15.000 Yeah.
01:24:17.000 Is it not on an app though?
01:24:19.000 It is on an app.
01:24:20.000 I'm saying it goes app, regular TV to watch cowboy.
01:24:24.000 No, I know, but you can watch ESPN normal on the app, I believe.
01:24:27.000 I'm not sure.
01:24:28.000 That's what I'm asking.
01:24:29.000 I'm not sure.
01:24:30.000 I was listening to Luke Thomas was talking about it.
01:24:33.000 And so can you get the app on your television?
01:24:36.000 Can you do it through Apple TV? Should be able to.
01:24:38.000 Should be, yeah.
01:24:38.000 So you can just watch all of it?
01:24:40.000 Yeah.
01:24:41.000 Have you seen...
01:24:42.000 Oh, so the Andy stopped him?
01:24:43.000 Yep.
01:24:44.000 Damn.
01:24:45.000 Crazy.
01:24:45.000 Dude, how about fucking Cain Velasquez versus Francis Ngana?
01:24:48.000 Ooh, that makes me nervous.
01:24:50.000 For who?
01:24:51.000 For Cain.
01:24:52.000 Really?
01:24:52.000 Yeah.
01:24:53.000 It's an amazing fight for Cain.
01:24:54.000 It's a great fight for Kane if he gets that guy to the ground.
01:24:56.000 It's a great fight for Francis, too.
01:24:57.000 Well, it makes me excited.
01:24:59.000 I mean, I say nervous.
01:25:00.000 Anytime I see Francis fighting, I'm nervous for his opponent.
01:25:04.000 I wasn't nervous after the Stipe fight.
01:25:07.000 I was like, ah, fuck.
01:25:08.000 You weren't nervous in the Derrick Lewis fight?
01:25:10.000 No.
01:25:11.000 I thought if he fought the way he always fights, that would be a crazy fight.
01:25:14.000 But he was so nervous from that fight, from the Stipe fight, that he just did not.
01:25:20.000 He looked terrible.
01:25:21.000 He just couldn't pull the trigger.
01:25:22.000 Well, and Derrick Rose had a hurt back, so he got a complete shit show out of two knockout artists.
01:25:28.000 I just think that Kane's been out for a long time.
01:25:33.000 He's a motherfucker, though, man.
01:25:35.000 Oh, he's the best.
01:25:36.000 I think he's the best in terms of physical ability.
01:25:41.000 You think he's the best heavyweight of all time?
01:25:43.000 I think he's the best.
01:25:44.000 I think he has to do a little more work.
01:25:46.000 I don't think he's the best in terms of what he's accomplished.
01:25:48.000 I think Fedor's the best heavyweight of all time in terms of what he's accomplished.
01:25:52.000 Maybe you can make the argument for Fabrizio Verdum because Verdum beat him.
01:25:57.000 But I think Verdum beat a Fedor that had already been through the ringer and pride and all the chaos over there.
01:26:03.000 I mean, he had been in those wars with fucking Krokop.
01:26:06.000 But Verdun beat him when it was still the aura of Fedor.
01:26:09.000 He was the first one where you realize he was human.
01:26:12.000 Sort of.
01:26:12.000 Because Brett Rogers kind of took a little bit out of that.
01:26:15.000 Ah, dude, he starched fucking Brett.
01:26:17.000 He KO'd him, but before that he had trouble with him.
01:26:19.000 It wasn't an easy fight.
01:26:20.000 It wasn't an easy fight.
01:26:22.000 He didn't even respect Brett, right?
01:26:24.000 He did a crow-cop, like, I mean, a crow-hop fucking punch.
01:26:28.000 Yeah, leaped and fucking hit him with that right hand.
01:26:31.000 That right hand was redonkulous, though.
01:26:34.000 It's tough to say greatest of all time because it's the greatest of that time period.
01:26:38.000 Because when he was doing it, there were specialists that he was great.
01:26:42.000 There were certain things that made him great.
01:26:43.000 He was undersized.
01:26:44.000 Because if you put his skill set with his frame now into the the pool I don't know if he's the best but then Kane at his time when there's JDS and he's in his prime Brock Lesnar He's beating those guys what Kane would do to people he would overwhelm you in a way that look like you were drowning and His cardio and pace was insane.
01:27:04.000 Insane.
01:27:05.000 Like, the Junior Dos Santos fights, I think, took so much out of Junior.
01:27:09.000 Both of them.
01:27:09.000 I think it took it both of them paid the price for that.
01:27:11.000 Both of them, yeah.
01:27:12.000 It was the same thing as, I was listening to, who's the boxer you just had on?
01:27:16.000 From Youngstown.
01:27:17.000 Kelly Pavlik.
01:27:17.000 Love Kelly Pavlik.
01:27:18.000 How you're saying he doesn't watch the rematch with Canelo, Triple G, because it takes so much out of those guys that they're never the same.
01:27:25.000 I'm usually on the same thinking path as that, where I'm like, God, if those guys go out again, man, we're never going to get a good product.
01:27:33.000 Well, Kane and Junior, for sure.
01:27:35.000 I mean, especially the third fight.
01:27:37.000 The second one, too, dude.
01:27:39.000 Yeah, the second one, too.
01:27:39.000 Both of them.
01:27:40.000 And then JDS Stipe.
01:27:42.000 Yeah.
01:27:43.000 That was crazy, too.
01:27:45.000 I mean, JDS has had some wards, and Stipe has had some wards.
01:27:48.000 And you can tell that they're just different in life.
01:27:51.000 I'm not saying it's brain trauma or whatever it is, but they're just different.
01:27:55.000 They leave a piece of themselves in that octagon.
01:27:57.000 Well, it's for sure some brain trauma.
01:27:59.000 Yeah, I'm just trying to be nice.
01:28:00.000 You're trying to be nice.
01:28:01.000 You're getting hit in the head that much.
01:28:03.000 They leave a little piece of him in there for our entertainment, and I feel a little guilty about that.
01:28:09.000 What's crazy is there's no talk about Stipe.
01:28:12.000 Stipe, the most accomplished heavyweight of all time.
01:28:15.000 He's the greatest in terms of his accomplishments.
01:28:18.000 He defended the title more than anybody.
01:28:21.000 He didn't fight the best guys in their prime when he fought Junior.
01:28:24.000 Junior was definitely past his prime.
01:28:26.000 That's the knock on him, right?
01:28:26.000 That's the only knock on him.
01:28:27.000 He fought for Doom after his prime.
01:28:29.000 But again, when it was his run during his era, Stipe's the best.
01:28:33.000 When it was Kane during his era, he was the best.
01:28:36.000 Fedor was the best.
01:28:37.000 It's hard to say this guy's better than this guy because it's just a different time period.
01:28:41.000 Right.
01:28:42.000 Jordan better than LeBron.
01:28:43.000 Jordan during that era, by far the best.
01:28:46.000 LeBron right now, by far the best.
01:28:48.000 It's stupid.
01:28:49.000 We don't know.
01:28:49.000 They're not competing against each other.
01:28:50.000 We don't know.
01:28:51.000 So that's the question about Stipe.
01:28:54.000 It's like, why is there no talk about him fighting again?
01:28:58.000 Like, why have they not set something up?
01:28:59.000 And he's trying.
01:29:00.000 He's trying.
01:29:01.000 Like, he even tweeted, he goes, DC, before I retire, let's do it, man.
01:29:04.000 Yeah.
01:29:04.000 Like, quit waiting for John, let's do it.
01:29:06.000 Well, he's being really active on social media, but it doesn't seem like there's a lot of interest.
01:29:10.000 Because he has to be.
01:29:11.000 Yes.
01:29:11.000 You know why?
01:29:12.000 Because it's not in his nature.
01:29:13.000 We know that's not Stipe.
01:29:15.000 Right, right.
01:29:15.000 We know that.
01:29:16.000 Stipe's a firefighter, humble, blue-collar dude.
01:29:19.000 He's going to put in work, comes to fight all the time.
01:29:22.000 So Derek Lewis explains turning down Stipe fight.
01:29:24.000 Derek says, So they tried getting Stipe fight.
01:29:41.000 So they were trying to get him for the UFC's Brooklyn card this weekend.
01:29:45.000 Was that this weekend?
01:29:47.000 It's smart of Derrick Lewis.
01:29:49.000 When you go D.C., then Stipe, there couldn't be two worse matchups for him.
01:29:53.000 He's going to get paid.
01:29:55.000 Two beatings you're going to take.
01:29:57.000 Most likely, unless he connects.
01:29:59.000 Derrick Lewis is doing it for the money.
01:30:01.000 He says that.
01:30:01.000 I'm trying to make cash, man, so that'd be the best way to do it.
01:30:04.000 But if he's not healthy, let's give me an ass-whooping from Stipe.
01:30:08.000 Or he connects.
01:30:10.000 Correct.
01:30:11.000 More early on.
01:30:11.000 But even Francis connected with Stipe and Stipe did not give a fuck.
01:30:15.000 That's how freaky he is.
01:30:17.000 Yeah, he's tough as shit, which is more incredible even that DC took him out.
01:30:21.000 So them offering Stipe Black Beast, you can tell they're not even thinking DC-Stipe rematch.
01:30:29.000 DC's getting Jones, Lesnar.
01:30:31.000 That's it.
01:30:32.000 I don't think Lesnar's fighting.
01:30:34.000 I don't either.
01:30:35.000 I think something suspect's going on there.
01:30:36.000 I would be willing to bet DC's last fight is that heavyweight.
01:30:39.000 Against Jon Jones.
01:30:40.000 Against Jon Jones.
01:30:41.000 And it's the biggest fight of all time.
01:30:43.000 That's such a...
01:30:44.000 And I'm a Brock Lesnar fan.
01:30:46.000 I like when he fights.
01:30:47.000 He's such a freak.
01:30:48.000 I celebrate the guy.
01:30:49.000 I don't give a fuck.
01:30:51.000 Hey, Nowitzki, go get a cup of coffee when Brock fights.
01:30:53.000 I don't give a fuck.
01:30:54.000 But when...
01:30:56.000 When you talk about Jon Jones DC, I mean, no one's even talking about Brock.
01:31:00.000 Jon Jones DC, that's the motherfucking fight.
01:31:03.000 I think that's bigger than Conor Khabib too.
01:31:06.000 I think there's so much history there.
01:31:09.000 It's for fucking the heavy.
01:31:10.000 And I think DC at heavyweight fighting Jon, the gap narrows.
01:31:15.000 But at light heavyweight, DC is not for you.
01:31:18.000 At heavyweight though, I think that's why John's kind of like, I'll fight him, it has to be at light heavyweight.
01:31:22.000 Because DC does have some advantages at heavyweight now.
01:31:25.000 But let's look at what they've done with TJ Dillashaw dropping him down to flyweight.
01:31:31.000 Why can't DC do the same thing when he gets down to light heavyweight?
01:31:36.000 What do you mean?
01:31:36.000 Oh, you're saying, what do you mean?
01:31:38.000 Well, he struggles so hard to get down to light heavyweight that it fucks with his cardio, his conditioning.
01:31:42.000 He just doesn't feel the same.
01:31:43.000 He says it takes too much out of him.
01:31:45.000 He feels so much stronger at heavyweight because he doesn't have to go through that weight cut.
01:31:49.000 Big dude, man.
01:31:50.000 That's...
01:31:51.000 No.
01:31:52.000 No, he's got body fat on him.
01:31:54.000 He's got extra body fat that's not...
01:31:56.000 It doesn't aid your performance.
01:31:58.000 Now, when he's at heavyweight, he doesn't diminish himself.
01:32:01.000 Or is he a mesomorph where he's different?
01:32:02.000 Because sometimes, like a Fedor or a Roy Nelson...
01:32:07.000 If you make those guys shredded, that's not in their DNA. They're not ectomorphs.
01:32:11.000 You can't do that.
01:32:12.000 But because we see guys like Francis Ngano, we assume that's...
01:32:16.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:32:17.000 I think ectomorph is the real skinny guy.
01:32:20.000 Super skinny.
01:32:21.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:32:21.000 I think a mesomorph is what you're thinking of.
01:32:23.000 That's in the middle.
01:32:23.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:32:24.000 I think DC's a mesomorph.
01:32:27.000 Endomorph is fat, right?
01:32:28.000 Yes.
01:32:29.000 I think for DC, being shredded, his body doesn't function off that well.
01:32:33.000 He doesn't have to be shredded, but he's carrying around so much extra weight.
01:32:37.000 Like, at heavyweight.
01:32:39.000 Starching dudes.
01:32:40.000 Well, he starched...
01:32:40.000 But look at Cain Velasquez.
01:32:42.000 He's not shredded.
01:32:43.000 He starched two guys.
01:32:44.000 He starched Stipe, who he just connected with a beautiful shot in the clinch.
01:32:48.000 That's his skill, his wrestling.
01:32:49.000 I think what's going on at heavyweight with DC is he's not weakened.
01:32:53.000 Let him eat whatever the fuck he wants and he's not weakened.
01:32:56.000 I think that is critical for him.
01:32:58.000 And I think when he gets down to light heavyweight, I think he's weakened.
01:33:00.000 I think it takes something out of him.
01:33:02.000 But I wonder how much they could mitigate that with great diet and planning it out the same way Kalavita's done to TJ. TJ's a smaller guy naturally and leaner.
01:33:14.000 100%.
01:33:15.000 But still, they leaned him out further to get him down to 135 pounds before the weight cut.
01:33:21.000 I just don't think it's in...
01:33:24.000 DC's DNA to be that lean.
01:33:26.000 It's just not for him.
01:33:27.000 Maybe.
01:33:28.000 It's just not, you know?
01:33:29.000 Maybe, but I think everyone benefits from scientific planning, meal planning, real analysis of your calories in, calories out, nutrients.
01:33:40.000 I don't know, maybe he does that already.
01:33:42.000 I bet he does that to some degree, but some guys I think do better for a guy like DC where he's just that extra fat and that's his thing.
01:33:51.000 I hope that they fight.
01:33:53.000 If they do fight, I hope the first fight is at heavyweight.
01:33:56.000 That's what I hope.
01:33:56.000 100%.
01:33:57.000 Because we've seen the light heavyweight.
01:33:58.000 Because they've talked about doing it at light heavyweight.
01:34:00.000 We've seen the light heavyweight version.
01:34:01.000 Because John wants it at light heavyweight.
01:34:02.000 Yeah.
01:34:03.000 Well, John wants it at light heavyweight so that it never has to appear that he picked up a title when they took it away from the champ and they didn't earn it from the champ.
01:34:13.000 And I get that, but how great would it be if you're John, where most people clearly know he beat DC, then you go to heavyweight and take that from him?
01:34:21.000 It's just the ultimate fuck you.
01:34:23.000 But I also think DC's a different animal at heavyweight, and his power's different, and John does get hit, and DC at heavyweight could land some shit.
01:34:31.000 Stipe's not easy to knock out at all.
01:34:34.000 No.
01:34:35.000 That would be the fight.
01:34:36.000 But it's also like they get so emotional with each other.
01:34:40.000 They hate each other.
01:34:41.000 Yeah, DC fucking hates that guy.
01:34:43.000 That's why pay-per-view goes...
01:34:44.000 That's what you want.
01:34:46.000 Especially at heavyweight.
01:34:47.000 It's hard to sell a trilogy at heavyweight.
01:34:50.000 July.
01:34:50.000 July 4th.
01:34:51.000 July 4th weekend.
01:34:52.000 DC. DC versus Jon Jones.
01:34:54.000 The heavyweight championship of the world.
01:34:56.000 Champ Champ.
01:34:56.000 Champ Champ.
01:34:57.000 Boom.
01:34:58.000 Boom.
01:34:59.000 The giant pay-per-view.
01:35:00.000 Three million buys.
01:35:01.000 Probably around there, yeah.
01:35:02.000 That's a lot of pay-per-views, but yeah.
01:35:04.000 But it could be done.
01:35:06.000 And that's what's going to happen.
01:35:07.000 Dana's going to make an offer they can't refuse.
01:35:11.000 Well, we're in January.
01:35:13.000 February, March, April, May, June, July.
01:35:15.000 Six months from now.
01:35:16.000 D.C. wanted to retire in March.
01:35:18.000 You know what?
01:35:18.000 It's not going to be July.
01:35:19.000 He's not going to retire in March.
01:35:21.000 He said his 40th birthday he's going to retire.
01:35:25.000 Get out of here with that.
01:35:26.000 That's why Stipe tweeted him and was like, dude, let's do this before you get out.
01:35:29.000 What is this?
01:35:30.000 This is from a promo for the wrestling event this week, because he's in Royal Rumble at the end of the month.
01:35:36.000 Is this new him?
01:35:37.000 Is this current him, do you think?
01:35:39.000 Well, if it's current him, he ain't passing any tests.
01:35:42.000 He looks huge.
01:35:42.000 Nah, it's just a couple of picos, bro.
01:35:44.000 Let's relax.
01:35:45.000 Look at the size of him.
01:35:48.000 He's a freak, though, you know?
01:35:49.000 Well, he's definitely a freak, but is he physically the same?
01:35:55.000 Look up Brock Lesnar lean.
01:35:58.000 I was trying to find a new picture.
01:36:00.000 You ever seen a picture of him in high school?
01:36:02.000 He was jacked.
01:36:03.000 Huge.
01:36:03.000 Yeah, he had a giant ass.
01:36:04.000 He's a naturally giant dude.
01:36:06.000 Yeah.
01:36:07.000 Ultra large size can of paint for a head.
01:36:11.000 He's so big.
01:36:12.000 He's a tank.
01:36:13.000 He looks like every bully of all time in high school, but he's actually a nice guy.
01:36:17.000 Yeah, like there, he looks pretty lean.
01:36:21.000 That's old.
01:36:21.000 Did you ever hear about the story?
01:36:23.000 Pat Baer was telling me this.
01:36:24.000 He used to train with Brock.
01:36:25.000 Good God, that's a freak.
01:36:28.000 When Brock, they were in between camp and Brock had his daughter in his hand and people saw him and went to grab him and take pictures and he's holding his daughter and they grabbed the hand and he's holding his daughter and he just went off on this dude.
01:36:39.000 And he's like the nicest guy ever.
01:36:41.000 Brock's always great.
01:36:42.000 But I guess this fan was like, oh my God, Brock Lesnar.
01:36:44.000 And he's like, I'm with my kids, man, don't bother me.
01:36:46.000 And some dude was like, no, let's do a picture and grabs him and he's holding his daughter and it just went.
01:36:51.000 He just was like, what the fuck are you doing, man?
01:36:54.000 Grabbed his arm while he was holding his daughter.
01:36:56.000 He's holding his daughter like this.
01:36:58.000 That's what we were talking about earlier.
01:36:59.000 That's what reminded me of it.
01:37:00.000 He grabbed him and was like, what the fuck?
01:37:02.000 Dude, I got my daughter here, man.
01:37:03.000 And I'm Brock Lesnar.
01:37:06.000 I'm going to twist your head off.
01:37:07.000 People want what they want and they don't care.
01:37:10.000 Wow.
01:37:10.000 Yeah.
01:37:11.000 I just don't see him fighting again.
01:37:13.000 I'd be happy if I was wrong.
01:37:15.000 I think he definitely wants to get back in there again.
01:37:17.000 I mean, I think he has some fights in his mind that he would like to get back.
01:37:22.000 I think he'd beat 95% of the division, too.
01:37:26.000 He's a freak, man.
01:37:27.000 Yeah.
01:37:28.000 He is a freak.
01:37:28.000 You know, Pico Grams, no Pico Grams.
01:37:31.000 He's a fucking freak, dude.
01:37:32.000 Pico Grams.
01:37:33.000 That's just my reference for fucking steroids now.
01:37:36.000 Pico's so hot right now.
01:37:39.000 He's such a freak.
01:37:40.000 He is.
01:37:41.000 You want some skeptical hippo eyes for your boy Nowitzki?
01:37:45.000 How about the test results for Lesnar showed up, then went away on their website?
01:37:50.000 And they're like, oh, it's just a random mistake.
01:37:53.000 It's just a glitch that $50,000 took care of.
01:37:56.000 How funny is that?
01:37:57.000 I wonder what happened.
01:37:59.000 What do you think happened?
01:38:00.000 I don't know.
01:38:01.000 I do not know.
01:38:03.000 There's some sort of shadiness there.
01:38:06.000 You think so?
01:38:06.000 Oh, come on, man.
01:38:07.000 If you think USADA's the end-all, be-all, you have your goddamn mind.
01:38:10.000 USADA says, technical issues caused online block Brock Lesnar drug test number discrepancy.
01:38:16.000 Here's my problem, Joe.
01:38:18.000 Here's my problem with this.
01:38:19.000 So let's just assume Brock, I don't know, has he had a needle in his ass?
01:38:24.000 Maybe.
01:38:24.000 Maybe.
01:38:25.000 I'm not.
01:38:25.000 I don't know.
01:38:26.000 I've never done it.
01:38:27.000 100% I would guess.
01:38:28.000 Well, he tested positive in the Mark Hunt fight.
01:38:31.000 Correct.
01:38:31.000 And Mark sued him for that.
01:38:33.000 Is Mark suing him?
01:38:35.000 Mark's suing the UFC. He's still legal action with that.
01:38:39.000 And he's not in the UFC. His contract's up with the UFC, so it's going to probably get even gnarlier now.
01:38:44.000 So good luck to Mark Hunt.
01:38:46.000 But...
01:38:47.000 So, Brock Lesnar, we know, steroid user, his test just doesn't show up.
01:38:52.000 I mean, that's random.
01:38:53.000 Boy, that's a coincidence.
01:38:54.000 John Jones, greatest fighter of all time, USADA issues, picograms.
01:38:57.000 That's just a coincidence.
01:38:59.000 It's too much of a coincidence for me, Joe.
01:39:01.000 Okay, but wait a minute.
01:39:01.000 The John Jones-USADA thing, they tested him positive.
01:39:06.000 Correct.
01:39:06.000 Like, what are you saying?
01:39:08.000 By the way, he did test negative after the fight, even for the metabolites.
01:39:12.000 So, for the picograms.
01:39:14.000 Afterwards, there's no picograms.
01:39:16.000 You're saying picograms.
01:39:17.000 Picograms is a unit of measurement.
01:39:19.000 Correct.
01:39:19.000 What he tested positive for is a metabolite for this steroid.
01:39:25.000 Which, and after the fight, there was nothing, correct?
01:39:28.000 Nothing, right.
01:39:28.000 Okay.
01:39:29.000 Because the numbers, what they're saying is that what his body has in it is a response to this steroid.
01:39:37.000 It's not like they're detecting, like, Anivar in his system.
01:39:41.000 It's a pulsing.
01:39:43.000 It's a metabolite.
01:39:44.000 Correct.
01:39:45.000 What they're detecting is the body responding to the fact that this steroid had been in his system.
01:39:51.000 Previously.
01:39:51.000 Yes.
01:39:52.000 But they documented...
01:39:54.000 It's just coincidence.
01:39:54.000 It's not that it's a coincidence.
01:39:55.000 You keep saying it like it's a joke.
01:39:57.000 Because the situation to me is a joke.
01:39:59.000 Why don't you tell me why it's a joke?
01:40:02.000 I don't know.
01:40:21.000 It's too much of a coincidence to me.
01:40:23.000 Okay.
01:40:23.000 He has plenty of issues outside of that.
01:40:26.000 When you say all these issues, you mean steroid issues.
01:40:28.000 Correct.
01:40:29.000 Right.
01:40:29.000 Now...
01:40:30.000 The first one being the...
01:40:31.000 I don't mean to cut you off, but the first one being the excuse of the dick pills.
01:40:35.000 Okay.
01:40:35.000 But it was.
01:40:36.000 Like, they actually got the dick pills.
01:40:39.000 They tested them.
01:40:40.000 This is all documented.
01:40:41.000 Is it?
01:40:42.000 Yes.
01:40:42.000 Well, those dick pills...
01:40:43.000 They didn't find the dick pills, Joe.
01:40:44.000 What they found were the precursors that can be found in dick pills.
01:40:48.000 So, if it's clambuterol...
01:40:49.000 Wait a minute.
01:40:50.000 What are you talking about?
01:40:51.000 So the thing that he flagged for, those do show up in dick pills.
01:40:55.000 Yes.
01:40:56.000 They also show up in a lot of other things.
01:40:58.000 Right, but he got them the dick pills that he took and they had it in them.
01:41:04.000 Correct.
01:41:05.000 So then he's clear.
01:41:07.000 That's what he took.
01:41:08.000 Listen, in the amount that he had in his system...
01:41:12.000 What they're saying is the only way that could exist is through a tainted supplement.
01:41:17.000 The way they tested him before, the way they tested him after, the small window of time where he was positive for that thing, there'd be no performance-enhancing benefit for him to take something in a micro-dose or whatever, and that it's in such a small amount that it had to be a tainted supplement.
01:41:33.000 They got them the actual supplement that he took, the dick pill supplement.
01:41:37.000 It had it in it.
01:41:38.000 That contained that stuff.
01:41:39.000 And he got punished for that.
01:41:40.000 This is not like a steroid that he took where it made him a better fighter or made him a better athlete.
01:41:46.000 So, to play devil's advocate here, so that stuff that comes in those dick pills, you can get from other steroids.
01:41:51.000 But it happens to be in those dick pills.
01:41:53.000 You certainly can.
01:41:54.000 Correct.
01:41:55.000 But that's one narrative that, to clear that, you could say, well, it's in these dick pills.
01:41:59.000 I'm not saying you can do that.
01:42:01.000 That's true.
01:42:01.000 But it's in such a small amount in his body.
01:42:04.000 And it wasn't in his body before, and it wasn't in his body after, which showed that it was only in his body in extremely small amounts for a small window of time.
01:42:13.000 Small trace amount, yep.
01:42:13.000 But a small window of time.
01:42:15.000 So it's not like he had it.
01:42:16.000 It's not even like this stuff, which is a metabolite, which is showing a response to the body, the body responding to the steroids.
01:42:24.000 Then let me ask this, Joe.
01:42:25.000 Okay.
01:42:26.000 Why does no other fighter have any picograms at this pulsating effect, really?
01:42:32.000 Well, that's not true.
01:42:33.000 I mean, other fighters have tested.
01:42:35.000 Frank Mir?
01:42:36.000 Frank Mir tested positive for something.
01:42:37.000 Got two years.
01:42:38.000 Tom Lawler tested.
01:42:40.000 But Frank Mir didn't go through the same steps that Jon Jones did.
01:42:45.000 He didn't provide them with...
01:42:47.000 I forget what the exact...
01:42:50.000 There was something that John did also that lowered his sentencing.
01:42:56.000 Remember, he was an informant.
01:42:57.000 Yes.
01:42:58.000 He was cooperating with USADA. Yeah.
01:43:02.000 Or agreeing to cooperate with USADA. Yeah.
01:43:09.000 Then we're just cool with that.
01:43:10.000 Listen, I don't even know what that means.
01:43:12.000 I don't either, but let me ask you this.
01:43:14.000 If I agreed to USADA to be an informant of an undercover snitch...
01:43:20.000 Snitches get stitches.
01:43:21.000 Correct.
01:43:22.000 Unless you're John, then no one can beat you up, so you're fine.
01:43:24.000 But the thing is...
01:43:27.000 The only way I can inform you is of something that I know of.
01:43:32.000 I can't inform you of just speculation.
01:43:35.000 That was what I asked Nowitzki.
01:43:37.000 I was like, if he didn't do anything wrong, what is he going to offer?
01:43:42.000 Because unless he took something...
01:43:45.000 Unless you know what you're doing.
01:43:46.000 Like, if I'm an informant for the FBI or for the feds for cocaine, I know my cocaine.
01:43:52.000 They're not going to get Joe Blow that makes my fucking espresso.
01:43:55.000 They're going to get the guy who knows the in and outs of cocaine.
01:43:59.000 Again, I'm like, alright, cool man.
01:44:01.000 Or they have a conversation with him and he says he can provide them with information on how guys are getting away with passing drug tests.
01:44:09.000 And how would you know about that unless you're in on that?
01:44:11.000 I don't know.
01:44:12.000 I don't either.
01:44:12.000 I'm just saying, again, to me, all of it is a little too much of coincidence that the best fighter on the planet Earth has these issues.
01:44:19.000 The best fighter on the planet Earth also ran away from a hit-and-run, smashed into a girl and broke her arm.
01:44:24.000 He also drove his car into a tree.
01:44:27.000 He's a reckless person who takes a lot of chances, and he does some, at least in the past, has done some things that are not very wise.
01:44:35.000 This could fall under that.
01:44:37.000 Or it could fall in.
01:44:39.000 Correct.
01:44:39.000 Or, again, to play devil's advocate.
01:44:41.000 I'm not accusing him of anything.
01:44:42.000 To play devil's advocate.
01:44:43.000 Or a guy who is that loosey-goosey outside the octagon might have taken some performance-enhancing things because that would be the similar traits.
01:44:53.000 Could have, except in this situation, it doesn't line up with the facts of what he took in terms of long-term metabolites, short-term metabolites, and medium-term metabolites.
01:45:03.000 The only long-term metabolites existed, which means that whatever he took, he had to have taken a long time ago.
01:45:10.000 Now, the problem with this is, this all comes from that guy, Gregory Rechenkov, is that how you say his name?
01:45:17.000 You're talking about the one test?
01:45:19.000 What I'm talking about is the study that shows these metabolites is all from this one individual, this guy, Grigory Rechenkov, who was the man from that documentary Icarus, who used to work for the Russian state-sponsored doping program.
01:45:34.000 He's the one who established these tests, and the way he established these tests is very highly criticized by people.
01:45:42.000 Super suspect.
01:45:43.000 Well, it's not suspect, but it's criticized by people because he injected himself and tested all his metabolites on himself.
01:45:51.000 And this has not been done on any peer-reviewed tests outside of his research.
01:45:57.000 It hasn't been duplicated.
01:45:58.000 The problem is it's not legal to perform these sort of tests on people in America.
01:46:03.000 You can't just shoot people up with illegal steroids in America and find out what it does to them.
01:46:07.000 But they should be able to do that.
01:46:09.000 I told him to get Sean Shelby, whack him up with a bunch of steroids, and Sean's down for it.
01:46:15.000 Sean's down for it.
01:46:15.000 He wants to get bigger.
01:46:16.000 Just do it.
01:46:17.000 Or just do it to Vitor Belfort, wherever he's fighting.
01:46:20.000 Just tell him, look, Vitor, we got an extra couple hundred grand for you on the side.
01:46:23.000 Just do this and let us do some blood work.
01:46:26.000 Let's see how it goes, bro.
01:46:27.000 Fucking cocaine-tainted creatine.
01:46:30.000 For real.
01:46:30.000 He would do it.
01:46:33.000 Yeah, I don't know, man.
01:46:35.000 I maintain an open mind.
01:46:38.000 I do, too.
01:46:39.000 I'm not accusing John of anything.
01:46:40.000 But again, for me, and this is just me, it's too much of a coincidence for it to raise some red flags for me.
01:46:47.000 I talked to two independent scientists outside of Nowitzki where I was sending guys information.
01:46:52.000 They were sending me back.
01:46:53.000 I was sending them all the work that they did.
01:46:55.000 I sent them all the relevant studies.
01:46:57.000 And one of them who was suspicious...
01:47:00.000 Initially, after reviewing all the stuff, decided that it doesn't seem like it's likely that it could be possible that he could have actually cheated.
01:47:08.000 He said it's more likely...
01:47:10.000 Cheated during that time.
01:47:10.000 More likely that the actual, the tainted supplement excuse is...
01:47:16.000 And by the way, the tainted supplement, I'm using the air quotes supplement, was never provided.
01:47:21.000 That supplement was never provided.
01:47:23.000 So, unless they did it to USADA and USADA didn't want to release it, the number one...
01:47:30.000 Question was, was it cocaine that was tainted with creatine?
01:47:34.000 That was where people thought it came from.
01:47:37.000 Because it's really, according to Nowitzki, when he was working for the government, that would be a really common thing.
01:47:43.000 That creatine was used in cocaine to cut it.
01:47:47.000 Because it looks like coke.
01:47:48.000 It cuts with coke.
01:47:49.000 It's normal.
01:47:50.000 It's not toxic.
01:47:51.000 So they would always mix in cheap creatine with cocaine to make more coke.
01:47:55.000 Makes sense.
01:47:56.000 Yeah, it makes sense.
01:47:57.000 And that's what Nowitzki believed.
01:47:59.000 But that's not what he believed.
01:48:01.000 But he believed that was a possibility.
01:48:03.000 I've heard all sorts of possibilities.
01:48:04.000 Yeah.
01:48:05.000 It'd be interesting to know the actual truth.
01:48:08.000 Yeah.
01:48:09.000 Well, you know, we're not going to know that.
01:48:12.000 I think we know as much as we're going to know.
01:48:14.000 Unless John comes out.
01:48:16.000 Once John retires and is like, I had a doctor, and he would stick it in my fingernails and slowly release.
01:48:23.000 Yeah, with some high, advanced microdosing.
01:48:26.000 He would never admit that, though.
01:48:28.000 Nobody ever admits it, unless they get caught.
01:48:30.000 It would tarnish your legacy, unless it's like an MLB thing.
01:48:34.000 But so many people were quick to jump on the he's a cheater bandwagon.
01:48:38.000 I'm like, man, you gotta be careful with that.
01:48:41.000 You gotta be careful with that.
01:48:43.000 You gotta be careful with that, but also...
01:48:47.000 You should be suspicious.
01:48:49.000 You should be suspicious.
01:48:50.000 I don't think that when you Sada and Nowitzki go, it's all good, man.
01:48:55.000 It was a dick pill.
01:48:55.000 You go, cool, man.
01:48:58.000 I don't think he can do that.
01:48:59.000 Well, they definitely didn't do that.
01:49:01.000 He lost a lot of money.
01:49:03.000 No, I'm saying that's what the fans do.
01:49:04.000 That's what the fans do.
01:49:05.000 Oh, right.
01:49:05.000 You know, some people can do that.
01:49:07.000 I think it's okay to go, God, it's just, I don't know, man.
01:49:10.000 Like, it's too much smoke here for me.
01:49:11.000 It's okay to do that.
01:49:12.000 What it's not okay to do is to say, he was cheating, he's busted, he has this stuff in his system.
01:49:21.000 Well, no, it's fine to say why does he have this stuff in the system.
01:49:24.000 Because that's what I say.
01:49:25.000 Right, but they showed why he had it in the system.
01:49:27.000 Yeah, but it doesn't mean you should have it in your system.
01:49:28.000 No, you definitely shouldn't have it in your system.
01:49:29.000 It's not cool to have it in your system.
01:49:30.000 No.
01:49:31.000 No, so it's okay to go, why the fuck is in the best fire in the world system?
01:49:35.000 What are you doing, dude?
01:49:36.000 That's fine to say.
01:49:37.000 Do you think that there's some shit that's going on right now that they haven't figured out yet that's going to be revealed?
01:49:42.000 Are you kidding me?
01:49:43.000 Fuck yeah.
01:49:44.000 You think so?
01:49:45.000 The drugs and that underworld is always ahead of the testing.
01:49:50.000 Always, always, always.
01:49:51.000 That's what Nowitzki said at first, but now he thinks it's reached this point where the testing is so good.
01:49:59.000 Do you know the testing threshold that he tested positive for, for the picograms, is 2,000 to 5,000 times stronger than the WADA threshold?
01:50:10.000 Yeah.
01:50:11.000 So he would have 2,000 to 5,000 times more of it in his system.
01:50:15.000 Or 2,000 to 5,000?
01:50:17.000 2,000%?
01:50:18.000 The numbers are tough to keep up with.
01:50:20.000 I don't remember.
01:50:21.000 Andy Foster told me what it was.
01:50:22.000 Either way, he gave me the numbers.
01:50:24.000 But an insane amount of much higher quantities of this shit for him to test positive in WADA. Like, these tests that they use now are insane.
01:50:35.000 So are the doctors in the undergrounds?
01:50:37.000 No, this is the thing they're doing.
01:50:38.000 Well, maybe.
01:50:39.000 But this is the thing they're doing now.
01:50:40.000 Well, the thing is, like, if it's so low, you're not going to have a performance-enhancing benefit.
01:50:44.000 It has to actually be in your system in order to have a performance-enhancing benefit.
01:50:49.000 But now, in 2019, they're actually considering lowering their standards so that, say, if you do take some creatine and it does have the tiniest trace amount of Osterene or something like that, that's not going to show up positive anymore.
01:51:04.000 Which is how maybe they should do it.
01:51:06.000 Because it's so strict now where it's tainting guys' legacy.
01:51:09.000 You look at Josh Barnett.
01:51:10.000 You look at Frank Merritt.
01:51:11.000 Josh Barnett's another one where they eventually cleared him.
01:51:14.000 But Jesus Christ, it took a year.
01:51:17.000 It's fucked up, man.
01:51:18.000 And then on top of that, everybody knew that he was under suspicion.
01:51:21.000 And Josh has tested positive before.
01:51:23.000 So everybody assumed that he was doing something.
01:51:25.000 Yeah, fucked him.
01:51:26.000 Nowitzki told me that the testing is so good now that if you and I were in this room...
01:51:30.000 And I had a jar of creatine that had steroids in it.
01:51:34.000 And I popped it open and the fucking dust got in the air.
01:51:37.000 And we ingested that dust.
01:51:39.000 We would both test positive.
01:51:40.000 From opening a jar in a room.
01:51:42.000 And that's crazy and good for them.
01:51:44.000 But I think there's an Elon Musk of steroid PEDs out there who's like, yeah, cool, man.
01:51:48.000 You guys are testing for this?
01:51:49.000 We're over here, you dumbasses.
01:51:51.000 I bet he's got a lot of Y's and Z's in his name.
01:51:53.000 Yeah.
01:51:54.000 And G's.
01:51:54.000 Yeah.
01:51:55.000 He's from Russia.
01:51:56.000 He's just rich as fuck.
01:51:57.000 He lives in like a glass house.
01:51:58.000 Hell yeah.
01:51:59.000 Probably dead as we're speaking.
01:52:00.000 They probably shot him in the sleep.
01:52:01.000 Now.
01:52:02.000 Yeah, I mean, they murk those guys.
01:52:04.000 Did you see Icarus?
01:52:06.000 Did you see that argument?
01:52:06.000 Yeah, I did.
01:52:06.000 Insane, man.
01:52:08.000 Oh, I know.
01:52:10.000 The lengths people go to.
01:52:11.000 Well, the whole Russian anti-doping program was horseshit.
01:52:14.000 They were just doping people.
01:52:15.000 State-sponsored doping.
01:52:17.000 And the fact that they had rigged the Sochi Olympics so that they got fake piss.
01:52:22.000 And you think they're the only country doing that?
01:52:25.000 Well, China did it.
01:52:26.000 For sure they did it in Beijing.
01:52:27.000 China's like, they were breaking gold medals.
01:52:31.000 And I think it's funny how people are like, this is ridiculous.
01:52:33.000 How could Russia do it?
01:52:34.000 I'm like, oh my god.
01:52:35.000 Even with John.
01:52:38.000 Let's say John did do some legal shit that we don't know of and he got away.
01:52:41.000 I don't give a fuck, dude.
01:52:43.000 I really don't.
01:52:44.000 I think a lot of guys are doing things.
01:52:45.000 I think it's part of every professional sport.
01:52:49.000 NFL, NBA, NHL, especially fighting, it's just, that's the nature of the beast.
01:52:54.000 Well, it's certainly a nature, I mean, it's definitely a part of sports.
01:52:57.000 It comes with a territory.
01:52:57.000 It's definitely a part of sports because it works.
01:52:59.000 You know what's interesting is like, why is it okay to take regular creatine?
01:53:03.000 Regular creatine works probably as good as microdosing any of this bullshit works.
01:53:08.000 You'd be surprised, but yeah.
01:53:09.000 Yeah.
01:53:09.000 I think there's some microdosing shit out there that the NFL guys can get their hands on or MLB that you're like, God damn.
01:53:16.000 Yeah.
01:53:16.000 Well, they say that microdosing actual testosterone is more effective because microdosing actual testosterone doesn't produce any random weird metabolites.
01:53:26.000 Yeah.
01:53:26.000 And that's what A-Rod was doing.
01:53:28.000 He had like the form of gummy bears where right before he'd bat, he'd like pop this gummy bear and just be like, home run.
01:53:33.000 And then by the time he tests him after the game, he's good.
01:53:36.000 That's so crazy.
01:53:38.000 How much did they take away from him after that?
01:53:41.000 Oh my god, man.
01:53:42.000 His whole legacy was tarnished.
01:53:44.000 Yeah.
01:53:44.000 Were you with me in Vegas this time we had Strip Steakhouse?
01:53:47.000 And A-Rod was there, and he was like, two smoke shows, and no one, like everyone was like, look at that fucking guy.
01:53:54.000 Were you there with me?
01:53:55.000 I don't know.
01:53:56.000 I forget.
01:53:56.000 Everyone at the table is like, fuck that guy.
01:53:58.000 I'm like, why?
01:53:59.000 He's awesome.
01:54:00.000 Like, dude, all the steroids.
01:54:01.000 I'm like, yeah, playing baseball.
01:54:03.000 Everyone's on steroids.
01:54:05.000 You hate him because of that?
01:54:06.000 That's a funny thing, though.
01:54:07.000 You're a cheater thing.
01:54:09.000 Like, that was the thing with Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa.
01:54:12.000 I hate to tell you, the guys pitching the balls to them, also juiced to the gills.
01:54:16.000 He fucked with Sammy Sosa so much, he turned himself into a white guy.
01:54:19.000 And went, fuck this noise, I'm going white.
01:54:21.000 Going super white.
01:54:22.000 Went ultra camouflage.
01:54:23.000 Yeah.
01:54:23.000 Not working, because he sticks out even more now.
01:54:25.000 Well, he's still doing interviews and shit.
01:54:26.000 And dresses like a asshole.
01:54:27.000 What is going on?
01:54:28.000 No, he does interviews, but just assumes, like, it's all good.
01:54:31.000 Yeah, he's, like, dressing up like the planter peanuts, man.
01:54:34.000 Yeah.
01:54:34.000 Yeah, he is.
01:54:35.000 And then when someone brings it up, he's like, what?
01:54:37.000 What do you mean, what's wrong with my skin?
01:54:38.000 I just use a lotion.
01:54:39.000 People are like, well, you're white, bro.
01:54:42.000 And he's like, what about it?
01:54:43.000 I like to look like this.
01:54:45.000 Like, no, I know, but what the fuck are you doing?
01:54:47.000 Bleaching yourself.
01:54:48.000 With just straight up lotion.
01:54:50.000 Do you think he has spots on his back that he can't reach?
01:54:52.000 No, I bet it's girls.
01:54:53.000 She's like, dude, we can't have these fucking spots like your goddamn Dalimation.
01:54:56.000 The back of his back.
01:54:57.000 Dude, how about his dick?
01:54:59.000 There's no way all his dick wrinkles aren't black.
01:55:01.000 Yeah.
01:55:02.000 You're not going to get all that.
01:55:03.000 It probably looks like a root, like a branch.
01:55:05.000 Do you have to?
01:55:07.000 To get all the nooks and crannies of the dick, you have to.
01:55:10.000 Do you get the taint?
01:55:11.000 Do you get your asshole bleached?
01:55:12.000 Imagine if you have a black hole for an asshole.
01:55:15.000 Does he look like a Jersey cow?
01:55:17.000 Is there just spots all over him?
01:55:19.000 Something to think about, bro.
01:55:21.000 It's just...
01:55:22.000 Oh, wow.
01:55:23.000 Look how white he is.
01:55:24.000 He doesn't look bad there, but it looks like he's wearing makeup, if I'm going to be honest.
01:55:27.000 Doesn't look good.
01:55:28.000 He looks like a goddamn Dick Tracy character.
01:55:31.000 It looks weird because, you know what, like the inside of his eyelids...
01:55:36.000 Like, that's dark.
01:55:38.000 Do you know what I'm saying?
01:55:39.000 Because you can't really get the whitening cream.
01:55:42.000 Dude, he looks like a goddamn vampire.
01:55:44.000 You can't get the whitening cream to your...
01:55:46.000 Well, if he was a regular guy and that's what he looked like, that'd be normal.
01:55:49.000 I mean, that's like Joey Diaz's skin color.
01:55:51.000 But it's like you get to his eyeliner.
01:55:53.000 Go to his eyeballs.
01:55:55.000 Make that larger.
01:55:56.000 Like, look.
01:55:57.000 Around his eye is dark.
01:55:59.000 And his earlobes.
01:56:00.000 Oh, that's weird.
01:56:01.000 The earlobes are freaking me out now.
01:56:03.000 Yeah.
01:56:05.000 And the inside of his nostrils.
01:56:06.000 Oh, yeah.
01:56:07.000 You can't look in it.
01:56:08.000 It's a nightmare.
01:56:09.000 It's a nightmare.
01:56:10.000 Very strange.
01:56:11.000 But he digs it.
01:56:12.000 I guess he likes it.
01:56:13.000 He's happy.
01:56:14.000 How hard were we howling at Joey Diaz's story the other night at the comedy story?
01:56:18.000 Oh, my God.
01:56:19.000 I'm telling you, he fucked up my rib.
01:56:21.000 That's what he used to look like.
01:56:22.000 Jesus Christ.
01:56:24.000 He was a black guy.
01:56:25.000 Oh, yeah.
01:56:25.000 Black Cuban.
01:56:26.000 Dude, he held court last night, too.
01:56:27.000 Same spot.
01:56:28.000 Ah, fuck.
01:56:28.000 I missed it.
01:56:29.000 Ah, fuck.
01:56:29.000 Oh, my God.
01:56:31.000 Oh, my God.
01:56:31.000 Dude, he told a story about him taking a shit.
01:56:33.000 He sent me a picture of his shit.
01:56:34.000 Me, too.
01:56:34.000 The next morning, woke up.
01:56:35.000 He sent us a picture of his shit.
01:56:36.000 He goes, check out this voodoo stick.
01:56:40.000 He's talking about how he's eating, this isn't a bit, right?
01:56:43.000 He's eating sauerkraut and farting on the plane, and Lauryn Hill was like, what the fuck, man?
01:56:48.000 Dude, I was sweating.
01:56:52.000 I'm telling you, the next morning I woke up, I'm like, did I get punched in the ribs?
01:56:55.000 I'm like, oh no, fucking.
01:56:56.000 I texted her, I'm like, dude, your story fucked my ribs up last night.
01:56:59.000 Yeah, I had to run away.
01:57:00.000 I was about to go on stage.
01:57:01.000 I had to run away from him before, because I wouldn't have been able to think about my material.
01:57:05.000 I wouldn't have been able to think about what he was talking about.
01:57:07.000 I was laughing so hard.
01:57:09.000 He's the goat.
01:57:10.000 I gotta wrap this up.
01:57:11.000 Oh, my bad.
01:57:12.000 You got the FBI guy.
01:57:14.000 CIA. CIA. Yeah.
01:57:16.000 A little different than me, huh?
01:57:17.000 Maybe talk to him about fucking Picos.
01:57:20.000 See what he says about them.
01:57:21.000 I'm all about Picos right now.
01:57:22.000 I don't know why.
01:57:23.000 I can't.
01:57:23.000 It's just in my head.
01:57:24.000 Well, it's a fun thing to run with.
01:57:26.000 Novitsi's like, Jesus Christ, shut up.
01:57:27.000 Shut the fuck up.
01:57:28.000 Saturday night, San Diego.
01:57:30.000 You'd be surprised.
01:57:32.000 I know, man.
01:57:32.000 Brennan motherfucking Chubb.
01:57:34.000 Showtime special.
01:57:35.000 That's right.
01:57:36.000 I'm running my one hour at Flappers in Burbank the night before on Friday.
01:57:40.000 Then you've been banging it out, man.
01:57:41.000 You've been hitting the road hard.
01:57:43.000 Edmonton, everywhere.
01:57:44.000 You've been touring.
01:57:45.000 Grinding, brother.
01:57:45.000 Punching it in.
01:57:46.000 Yes, sir.
01:57:46.000 I'm proud of you.
01:57:47.000 I'm excited.
01:57:48.000 I can't wait.
01:57:48.000 Saturday night.
01:57:49.000 We'll see ya.