The Joe Rogan Experience - JRE MMA Show #94 with Brendan Schaub

00:00:00.000 Quarantine, baby! 1.00

00:00:02.000 How you holding up?

00:00:03.000 Getting through, man.

00:00:05.000 Are you weirded out or are you just accepting it?

00:00:07.000 I'm accepting it and I'm trying to stay positive.

00:00:09.000 I send you guys all the positive stats I get.

00:00:13.000 Well, I know several people that have gotten it and gotten over it.

00:00:16.000 The worst was Michael Yeo.

00:00:17.000 And I need to confirm this with Michael, but I'm pretty sure Michael had a cold and then caught the corona and then got pneumonia.

00:00:25.000 Jesus Christ.

00:00:25.000 And he got it real bad.

00:00:27.000 Yeah, he's bad.

00:00:27.000 He got it real bad.

00:00:28.000 He was hospitalized for a week.

00:00:30.000 His post choked me up.

00:00:31.000 Did you see his Instagram post?

00:00:32.000 Yes.

00:00:33.000 And you see him coughing while he's doing it.

00:00:35.000 Yeah.

00:00:35.000 He's such a good guy.

00:00:37.000 He's the nicest guy.

00:00:38.000 He's the nicest guy. 0.99

00:00:39.000 If we lost him, that'd be fucking... 0.97

00:00:41.000 That'd be a shame. 1.00

00:00:42.000 Devastating.

00:00:43.000 I know people that have gotten it, gotten over it.

00:00:45.000 Not much of a problem, you know?

00:00:48.000 And... 0.99

00:00:49.000 They just felt like shit for a couple days, then they're fine. 1.00

00:00:51.000 But that's the majority of people, Joe. 0.99

00:00:54.000 I know people get upset when I say that.

00:00:55.000 It's true, though. 0.82

00:00:56.000 It's true, though. 0.82

00:00:57.000 Those are the numbers.

00:00:57.000 The majority of the people get it, and they're fine.

00:00:59.000 Yeah.

00:01:00.000 What I'm hoping is they come up with a legitimate treatment where it's like, this is confirmed that if you take hydroxychloroquine, you know, with Z-Pak, if they say something like that, This is confirmed.

00:01:12.000 If they say, we got it covered, folks.

00:01:15.000 We no longer have to worry about people dying of coronavirus.

00:01:18.000 We just catch it real early.

00:01:19.000 Sort of like Tamiflu or some other things that... 0.99

00:01:22.000 Look, staph used to fucking kill the shit out of people. 0.99

00:01:25.000 Oh, tons. 1.00

00:01:25.000 You know? 1.00

00:01:26.000 Killed a lot of people. 1.00

00:01:27.000 Infections killed a lot of fucking people. 1.00

00:01:29.000 Now they give you antibiotics. 1.00

00:01:31.000 I mean, imagine if jujitsu killed people.

00:01:33.000 Imagine if you went to the gym and you got staph and you died. 1.00

00:01:36.000 How many fucking people would train? 1.00

00:01:37.000 I wouldn't train. 1.00

00:01:38.000 Nobody would train.

00:01:39.000 You'd be so terrified of staph.

00:01:41.000 Right?

00:01:41.000 Well, that's how we are right now with this coronavirus.

00:01:44.000 We're worried because we don't have, like, a rock-solid, legitimate treatment or a vaccine.

00:01:49.000 But that hydrochloridine, whatever the hell it is, in Z-Pak, is supposed to work. 0.95

00:01:53.000 The trials that they've seen, right?

00:01:55.000 Yeah, well...

00:01:55.000 For some people.

00:01:57.000 You know, it's what they call anecdotal evidence.

00:01:59.000 It's not 100% proven clinical trial, peer-reviewed, where they can say, hey, we had 160 people that were coronavirus positive.

00:02:07.000 We put them on this hydroxychloroquine.

00:02:08.000 It takes a lot of time.

00:02:09.000 It takes a lot of time.

00:02:10.000 We don't have time.

00:02:11.000 Right.

00:02:11.000 But there's a few doctors in New York that have implemented it and some very positive results, according to them.

00:02:20.000 Now, is that enough to say, hey, we're good?

00:02:24.000 No, I don't think so.

00:02:25.000 I think what's funny is in our group of friends, you have some who won't step a foot outside their house.

00:02:31.000 They have some who are kind of in the middle.

00:02:34.000 They have some who are super loosey-goosey.

00:02:37.000 It's just like the Rolodex.

00:02:40.000 The real problem is with people who are compromised.

00:02:45.000 Old people. 0.98

00:02:46.000 You know, people whose immune system is already fragile.

00:02:49.000 And now the thing is, if you or I got it, we'd be fine, hopefully.

00:02:53.000 But then what if you gave it to your grandma?

00:02:55.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:02:55.000 Don't go around your grandma, dumbass. 1.00

00:02:57.000 Don't go around your grandma. 1.00

00:02:57.000 This is the real... 1.00

00:02:58.000 I think the real way to handle this moving forward is probably going to be something along the lines of make sure that old people aren't exposed, make sure that high-risk people are not exposed, and make sure that you don't expose yourself to them if you have it. 0.99

00:03:13.000 Correct. 0.96

00:03:14.000 Get your ass back to work. 0.99

00:03:16.000 Yeah, and hopefully there's some sort of a treatment. 0.99

00:03:18.000 But get your ass back to work is really important. 0.98

00:03:20.000 Hell yeah, it is. 0.98

00:03:21.000 There's so many businesses going under.

00:03:22.000 I don't think we've seen anything like this ever.

00:03:24.000 It's scary, man.

00:03:24.000 Ever.

00:03:25.000 And I don't think ever in the history of America there's been a thing where everything just like instantly shut down.

00:03:31.000 No one works.

00:03:32.000 No one does anything.

00:03:33.000 Everyone stays home.

00:03:35.000 And how long are we going to do it for, though?

00:03:37.000 Right.

00:03:37.000 I think they're saying the end of May now.

00:03:40.000 Really?

00:03:41.000 In California.

00:03:42.000 That's what I've heard. 1.00

00:03:43.000 In California, the governor's kind of a pussy. 1.00

00:03:46.000 And he was talking about, you know, we might go on, it might be like this for a year, you know? 1.00

00:03:51.000 Did he say that?

00:03:51.000 Yeah, he said that.

00:03:53.000 So, again, he's a giant pussy. 1.00

00:03:55.000 But when you hear Trump, he was talking to some reporter that asked him a question, and he said, I'm thinking, you know, we're not far off from after Easter. 1.00

00:04:02.000 Open things back up.

00:04:04.000 Yeah.

00:04:05.000 Look, if people... 1.00

00:04:07.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:04:07.000 It's so tough. 1.00

00:04:08.000 It's so tricky.

00:04:09.000 It's so tough.

00:04:10.000 Like, look, if it's just us in this room, I'm not that worried because I take a lot of vitamins. 0.99

00:04:16.000 I'm in the fucking sauna every day. 0.97

00:04:18.000 I have a very strong immune system. 1.00

00:04:20.000 You're fit.

00:04:20.000 I take probiotics.

00:04:21.000 When you walked in, I said, I will lick your face right now. 1.00

00:04:23.000 You said, what are we doing? 0.99

00:04:23.000 Hugging? 0.99

00:04:24.000 What are we doing? 1.00

00:04:24.000 I said, I will lick your fucking face, Joe. 1.00

00:04:26.000 I'm not scared of shit. 1.00

00:04:27.000 I'm healthy as hell. 0.99

00:04:29.000 Yeah, but that's the difference between someone who's actively taking care of their body and does so all year round.

00:04:35.000 Yes.

00:04:35.000 Versus people who are always boozing, have high blood pressure, are overweight.

00:04:40.000 I'm talking to you, Burk Raja. 0.99

00:04:43.000 You always think you're talking about...

00:04:45.000 I just want to let them know what I am!

00:04:47.000 Look, I love the guy.

00:04:48.000 I don't want him to die.

00:04:50.000 Me too.

00:04:50.000 There's a lot of people like that, though, that we're friends with.

00:04:52.000 That's on you, homie. 1.00

00:04:54.000 I know.

00:04:54.000 Get in shape, dude.

00:04:55.000 Yep.

00:04:56.000 If it bounces right off you, but it kills someone that's your age, whose fault is that?

00:05:02.000 If they're severely out of shape?

00:05:04.000 It's kind of their fault.

00:05:04.000 That's on you, man.

00:05:05.000 It's kind of their fault.

00:05:06.000 Unless they have a disease.

00:05:07.000 That's a different animal.

00:05:09.000 Yeah, there's people that have diseases, and those diseases prevent them from being healthy.

00:05:13.000 That's a different animal.

00:05:14.000 So then you have to think about that percentage of the population.

00:05:18.000 There's so many variables.

00:05:19.000 Dude, I went to this market, this giant market.

00:05:22.000 Are they selling bats?

00:05:23.000 No, but I would have bought one.

00:05:25.000 I love bats.

00:05:25.000 Not for shoe, but I'd save them.

00:05:28.000 But yeah, there's like this fresh market, and it was packed, man. 0.99

00:05:32.000 I'm like, god damn. 0.86

00:05:33.000 But everyone had a mask on, and I saw two, like, I'm not even trying to be funny, they're probably equal 800 pounds, one probably 400 pounds, his wife another 400 pounds with a mask on. 0.99

00:05:42.000 I'm like, you think the mask, that's not what's going to kill you, homies. 1.00

00:05:46.000 Yeah, you're already fucked. 1.00

00:05:48.000 Yeah, you're super fucked. 1.00

00:05:50.000 Thin out the herd, man. 1.00

00:05:51.000 Well, I hope this is a wake-up call for people that aren't taking care of themselves, because there's a lot of people that just think it's not necessary, and they look at someone like you or I that's vain.

00:06:02.000 I get up in the morning, I look at my body in the mirror, I'm like, come on.

00:06:05.000 Oh, every morning.

00:06:06.000 Looking good?

00:06:09.000 I'm straight up.

00:06:10.000 Old school Mr. Avanus.

00:06:12.000 Me too.

00:06:13.000 I do it in front of my kids, too.

00:06:14.000 I was like, what?

00:06:15.000 I go, what?

00:06:16.000 Me too.

00:06:17.000 But it's fun.

00:06:18.000 Me too.

00:06:18.000 Yeah, they do it too.

00:06:20.000 I got my son out because we have a hot tub and pool and the pool's freezing.

00:06:23.000 And I've been mountain biking every day so my legs are sore.

00:06:26.000 So I go hot, cold, hot, cold.

00:06:28.000 And now he's doing it.

00:06:29.000 Oh, nice.

00:06:30.000 And he gets out and he goes, Pop, I'm getting big muscles.

00:06:33.000 I said, you're getting there, dude.

00:06:34.000 You're getting there.

00:06:36.000 My daughter got up real early today.

00:06:38.000 She set her alarm for 8. And I go, why'd you get up at 8?

00:06:40.000 She goes, because I realize when I get up at 10 that I don't get as much done during the day and the day is shorter.

00:06:45.000 I go, wow.

00:06:47.000 I go, that's very wise.

00:06:48.000 So you know how kids are dabbing?

00:06:50.000 She does a half dab now.

00:06:53.000 It's like a new thing.

00:06:54.000 She goes, I am wise.

00:06:57.000 She's like flexing on me. 0.55

00:06:59.000 That kid's going to be successful, man.

00:07:01.000 That's hilarious.

00:07:02.000 She's a little beast. 1.00

00:07:04.000 My 11-year-old's a beast. 0.83

00:07:05.000 Isn't it crazy to see that?

00:07:06.000 It's crazy.

00:07:07.000 It's weird.

00:07:08.000 She's got all of my attributes, my obsessive attributes, but without any of the, I didn't have a good childhood.

00:07:16.000 That's trouble.

00:07:17.000 In a good way.

00:07:18.000 She's super confident.

00:07:19.000 She's not doing it because I want someone to love me.

00:07:22.000 It doesn't come from a dark place.

00:07:24.000 She's like, I want to be awesome at everything.

00:07:28.000 And that's when she's going to thrive.

00:07:29.000 And she's always laughing.

00:07:31.000 She laughs at everything.

00:07:32.000 She's a funny kid, man.

00:07:33.000 She's always laughing.

00:07:35.000 I love it.

00:07:36.000 She'll say something like, Bah!

00:07:38.000 Nothing better.

00:07:39.000 She thinks things are funny.

00:07:40.000 She's got a very interesting sense of humor.

00:07:42.000 It's weird seeing kids grow up with no fear.

00:07:51.000 Don't you worry about it though?

00:07:53.000 Yes!

00:07:53.000 That's the problem because they're so well taken care of.

00:07:56.000 I feel like When all of our friends, like almost everyone I know to a man that's interesting, and to a woman, had some sort of fucked up, chaotic childhood. 0.86

00:08:09.000 There's some darkness there. 0.86

00:08:10.000 Yeah.

00:08:10.000 That's what made them interesting.

00:08:12.000 That's what made them successful in a lot of ways.

00:08:15.000 But I don't know if it's necessary.

00:08:17.000 I feel like there's valuable lessons that you can get.

00:08:20.000 Like, for you, I think, a lot of your lessons you got in sports, right?

00:08:23.000 Correct, yeah. 0.98

00:08:24.000 I think every kid, all my friends that are fucked up, like, emotionally, that can't deal with loss, they don't play sports. 0.99

00:08:32.000 They never played sports. 0.99

00:08:33.000 There's a lot of people that I know that didn't play sports that don't know how to lose.

00:08:36.000 And that's such a disadvantage.

00:08:38.000 Because when you're playing sports when you're young, I mean, it's hard times, man.

00:08:41.000 Oh, my God.

00:08:42.000 And then as you get to the higher level in college, it's pretty cutthroat, man.

00:08:47.000 You learn to deal with these heartbreaking issues and pick up your boots and keep going.

00:08:50.000 You also develop a thick skin.

00:08:52.000 Yes.

00:08:53.000 God.

00:08:53.000 And a chip on your shoulder.

00:08:55.000 A chip on your shoulder and a thick skin.

00:08:56.000 The biggest chip on your shoulder.

00:08:57.000 So important to get through life, though.

00:08:59.000 You need that.

00:09:00.000 You need to understand what competition is.

00:09:02.000 You need to look at that person.

00:09:03.000 You know, sparring.

00:09:06.000 There was always one dude that you don't want to spar. 1.00

00:09:09.000 You're like, oh, fuck this guy. 0.99

00:09:11.000 I do not want to spar this guy. 1.00

00:09:12.000 But you have to.

00:09:13.000 You have to.

00:09:13.000 That's the only way to get better.

00:09:14.000 And then there's this moment where you're lined up and there he is. 1.00

00:09:18.000 Like, oh boy, time to get my ass kicked. 0.98

00:09:20.000 But also in football, that's when I realized, oh, everybody's not treated the same. 0.99

00:09:24.000 And that's the real world.

00:09:25.000 Like, we're not treated the same.

00:09:26.000 Like, I remember the star running back, Bobby Purify.

00:09:30.000 You know, I've always been a huge shoe guy.

00:09:32.000 He would get custom one-of-one designer cleats and shoes in his locker.

00:09:37.000 And then he'd give me these old ones.

00:09:39.000 And he was next to me.

00:09:40.000 I was like, I get it.

00:09:42.000 I get it.

00:09:43.000 It hurt my feelings forever, man.

00:09:45.000 I was like, God, those look sweet.

00:09:47.000 People get mad at people that are like uber successful. 0.99

00:09:50.000 But those people like him, like, you know, the Jordans of the world, the people that are just like the fucking... 0.93

00:09:56.000 The guy who's what David Goggins likes to call uncommon amongst uncommon men. 0.98

00:10:02.000 That's just how life is.

00:10:04.000 And you see that and you realize where the benefits are in being that person.

00:10:08.000 And then you also see the drawbacks.

00:10:10.000 You see a huge drawback, especially in the personal life. 1.00

00:10:12.000 Oh, you're a crazy person. 0.99

00:10:14.000 It's tough to manage outside that core, outside that octagon. 1.00

00:10:17.000 It's tough to manage.

00:10:18.000 I mean, talk to Tyson.

00:10:19.000 Talk to Tyson about who he was when he was the king of the world.

00:10:22.000 He couldn't manage it.

00:10:23.000 I mean, no one can maintain that.

00:10:25.000 Talk to Jon Jones right now.

00:10:26.000 Right now.

00:10:28.000 Yeah.

00:10:29.000 Right now.

00:10:30.000 Yeah.

00:10:30.000 I mean, this is the last one with Jon Jones.

00:10:34.000 I got sad.

00:10:35.000 That was the first time out of all the Jon's things.

00:10:37.000 This recent one?

00:10:38.000 Yeah, I got sad.

00:10:39.000 I've been disappointed before, but this one I got sad.

00:10:43.000 Because I watched that video, the arrest video.

00:10:46.000 The arrest video was sad.

00:10:48.000 It's such a bummer when you watch that video.

00:10:50.000 You know what was a little alarming there when I think CTE has something to do with this?

00:10:54.000 I know we harp on CTE, but when he goes, hey, John, I need you to do this, this, and this, he goes, I'm going to warn you, my short-term memory is terrible.

00:11:02.000 So it's not because I'm drunk. 0.99

00:11:03.000 And even as he's drunk, he was cautious enough to say that, saying, hey, man, my short-term memory is shit because I get punched in the head all the time. 0.98

00:11:12.000 So if you're based off that, we're going to be in trouble. 0.98

00:11:15.000 I was like, oh no.

00:11:16.000 I think that was a little bit of funny.

00:11:17.000 His legs were so skinny. 0.99

00:11:21.000 Who fucks people up with those skinny legs? 1.00

00:11:23.000 Dude, they're so thin. 1.00

00:11:25.000 Well, his calves are crazy.

00:11:27.000 His calves are so much smaller than mine, and I'm so much smaller than him.

00:11:30.000 It's insane.

00:11:31.000 How about Will Sasso's calves?

00:11:33.000 Oh my god. 0.99

00:11:33.000 Those are the most ridiculous things. 0.99

00:11:35.000 Callan and I spent 15 minutes on Will Sasso's calves the other day. 0.99

00:11:39.000 They're crazy.

00:11:39.000 Callan has good calves, too.

00:11:41.000 They're not bad, but they're not Will Sasso.

00:11:43.000 Sasso seems like he should be able to jump over a building.

00:11:46.000 Like he should be able to just, from a standing position, just launch himself.

00:11:49.000 He looks like Hulk. 1.00

00:11:49.000 It literally looks like Hulk wearing fucking cut-off jeans. 1.00

00:11:52.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:11:52.000 Now, Jon Jones. 0.99

00:11:53.000 Now, imagine, like, the Tiago Santos fight.

00:11:55.000 Look at his calf.

00:11:57.000 That's preposterous.

00:11:58.000 That's what Brian had here.

00:11:59.000 You see, Brian shaved his head, and that's a tough go.

00:12:01.000 When did he shave his head?

00:12:03.000 Two days ago.

00:12:04.000 No.

00:12:05.000 Where's the pictures?

00:12:06.000 I mean, I post it on my Instagram story.

00:12:07.000 I don't want to go too hard on him.

00:12:09.000 You should.

00:12:09.000 I need to see this.

00:12:12.000 How come I didn't know?

00:12:13.000 Why didn't he send me a picture?

00:12:14.000 That's a good move for him, to shave his head.

00:12:16.000 But he needs to go even more.

00:12:19.000 Because the top is...

00:12:20.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:12:21.000 Well, does he have the hair transplant scar?

00:12:23.000 Yes, he does.

00:12:23.000 He does.

00:12:24.000 That's what I said.

00:12:24.000 I said, oh, you have the same thing Rogan has.

00:12:26.000 But his is small.

00:12:27.000 You need to shave down more.

00:12:30.000 Yeah, he needs to go all the way.

00:12:32.000 There he is.

00:12:32.000 Just go all the way.

00:12:34.000 Yeah.

00:12:34.000 Good.

00:12:35.000 Good for him.

00:12:35.000 He probably feels free that way.

00:12:38.000 It's freeing.

00:12:39.000 Now that he...

00:12:39.000 Look.

00:12:40.000 He fucked up though because he cut himself so it's like all uneven so I could not stop laughing. 1.00

00:12:44.000 We need to just get some trimmers. 1.00

00:12:46.000 I cut mine myself but I fucking go... 0.99

00:12:48.000 But you're a seasoned vet. 1.00

00:12:50.000 You're a seasoned vet.

00:12:51.000 Yeah but even the first time I did it you just go all the way down to the bottom.

00:12:54.000 Just go to the bottom.

00:12:55.000 He's got one of them trimmers on it where you leave a little bit of hair.

00:12:58.000 That's what he has.

00:12:58.000 Yeah.

00:12:58.000 I go to the bottom and then I let it grow like a few days and I go back to the bottom again.

00:13:04.000 He looks a little like Bruce Willis.

00:13:05.000 He doesn't look bad.

00:13:07.000 He needs to shave it more.

00:13:08.000 You gotta see it in person.

00:13:09.000 It's a little mess.

00:13:10.000 I could not stop laughing.

00:13:12.000 We couldn't get through the show.

00:13:14.000 I could not stop laughing.

00:13:15.000 He's trying to be all serious.

00:13:16.000 I just stopped laughing.

00:13:17.000 Wow.

00:13:18.000 That's Callan.

00:13:19.000 Yeah.

00:13:20.000 The best. 1.00

00:13:20.000 He's such a fucking character. 1.00

00:13:22.000 I don't know a single human like him. 1.00

00:13:24.000 Try to find someone like him.

00:13:25.000 No, never.

00:13:25.000 He's going crazy with Corona.

00:13:27.000 He gets mad.

00:13:28.000 He gets real mad.

00:13:29.000 Why does he get mad?

00:13:30.000 Because we're on lockdown. 1.00

00:13:31.000 When's this shit going to end, man? 0.99

00:13:33.000 When are we going back to restaurants? 1.00

00:13:34.000 The text message that he sends, he gets very angry.

00:13:37.000 He has to cook for himself.

00:13:38.000 He has to cook for himself.

00:13:40.000 That's his big anger.

00:13:41.000 He can't go to Via Veneto or Felix.

00:13:44.000 He can't hang out with his friends.

00:13:45.000 That place Felix we were supposed to go.

00:13:48.000 Right before, well, I went on the 14th.

00:13:51.000 With Callan?

00:13:51.000 No, I went with my wife on the 14th, right before the lockdown.

00:13:55.000 And we were like, should we go out?

00:13:56.000 We should go out.

00:13:57.000 Let's just go out.

00:13:57.000 Let's just do it.

00:13:58.000 We had reservations, but we had them like five days earlier and started getting, as it getting closer and closer, it seemed like everything was like kind of shutting down.

00:14:06.000 People were pulling me away.

00:14:07.000 And then it was like a couple days later that they shut down everything.

00:14:10.000 But you did eat there?

00:14:11.000 Yeah, we did eat there.

00:14:12.000 It's good, huh? 0.99

00:14:13.000 Fucking fantastic. 0.97

00:14:14.000 That place is awesome. 0.98

00:14:15.000 Apparently, they and a lot of other restaurants, they have to go.

00:14:19.000 I think Felix is doing Felix to go.

00:14:22.000 All of them have to do that.

00:14:23.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:14:23.000 Freaking Flappers hit me up because that's how they're making money.

00:14:27.000 That's how they're covering their rent right now is they have to sell the food. 0.59

00:14:31.000 And they have good food, but they have to do the takeout just to keep the doors open.

00:14:34.000 I'm glad people are innovating and they're coming up with ways to stay open.

00:14:38.000 But it would be a real bummer if places like Felix went under or that other place that Cal loves, Via Veneto.

00:14:44.000 That place in Venice, that place is excellent too.

00:14:47.000 Excellent.

00:14:47.000 The thing about those is they have high rent.

00:14:49.000 Yes, high rent.

00:14:50.000 They're off Main Street.

00:14:51.000 Yep.

00:14:51.000 I mean, they're right on Abbott-Kinney, right?

00:14:54.000 They're off Main Street.

00:14:55.000 Well, Felix off Abbott.

00:14:57.000 Yeah, even higher rent. 1.00

00:14:58.000 What the fuck? 0.99

00:14:58.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:14:59.000 Abbott's the most expensive road in California.

00:15:01.000 Is it really?

00:15:01.000 Yeah.

00:15:02.000 Yeah.

00:15:02.000 Why does everybody like that area?

00:15:04.000 Is it the homeless people that tracks them?

00:15:05.000 It's a weird vibe.

00:15:07.000 It's like the poorest of the poor and the richest of the rich.

00:15:11.000 It's so strange.

00:15:12.000 We were driving there and we stopped at a red light and there was like this nice house to the left, like this super modern looking Venice style house.

00:15:19.000 And right across the street on the right was 20 tents.

00:15:23.000 I know.

00:15:24.000 Camped out.

00:15:24.000 It's such a bummer.

00:15:26.000 Why do they let that happen? 1.00

00:15:27.000 That is the dumbest thing, that they let that happen. 0.99

00:15:30.000 They let people take over the sidewalks. 1.00

00:15:31.000 You know what these bums do to get money? 1.00

00:15:33.000 Is if a house goes for sale or rent, these bums squat in front of the house. 1.00

00:15:37.000 So the seller or the renter has to come up and be like, you guys got to get out of here and pay us.

00:15:41.000 So they give them money, they leave, and then they rent the house.

00:15:45.000 There should be a service.

00:15:46.000 It's a hustle.

00:15:47.000 There should be a service that cleans that up. 1.00

00:15:49.000 It's called COVID-19.

00:15:50.000 I don't think it's affecting them. 1.00

00:15:52.000 They already had tuberculosis and fucking... 1.00

00:15:55.000 The Black Plan. 1.00

00:15:55.000 ...Legioneers disease. 1.00

00:15:56.000 They got everything. 0.99

00:15:57.000 They don't give a fuck. 0.99

00:15:58.000 I mean, they were finding... 0.99

00:15:59.000 What was that crazy medieval disease they were finding in bums, in homeless people, in Skid Row?

00:16:07.000 Jesus Christ.

00:16:08.000 It was a crazy disease that they hadn't found. 1.00

00:16:11.000 God damn it. 0.99

00:16:12.000 Do you remember it, Jamie? 0.99

00:16:13.000 We were talking...

00:16:13.000 It sounds like the crazy, crazy one, but it's like, oh, typhus.

00:16:17.000 It's typhus.

00:16:18.000 It's like the precursor to typhoid fever.

00:16:20.000 Jesus Christ.

00:16:21.000 They found that.

00:16:23.000 I don't know what you do.

00:16:24.000 I mean, people are worried about bats. 0.99

00:16:26.000 How about people that shit on the street? 1.00

00:16:28.000 I mean, we're talking about diseases that have come out of these Chinese wet markets. 1.00

00:16:32.000 There easily could be diseases that come out of L.A., out of these homeless encampments.

00:16:37.000 Yeah, but no one's eating homeless soup.

00:16:38.000 Well, I don't know what they're eating.

00:16:40.000 Who knows what they're doing?

00:16:41.000 But it's not a matter of eating.

00:16:42.000 It's a matter of being around all that waste.

00:16:45.000 But I thought that's how this all got started is someone ate that bat soup. 1.00

00:16:48.000 No, they don't think it's eating it.

00:16:49.000 Oh, really?

00:16:50.000 They think it's being near them.

00:16:51.000 They think the patient zero, I believe the theory is, the current theory is patient zero, see if you can find this, was traced to a woman that worked next to the bat stand.

00:17:03.000 We read it a few weeks ago.

00:17:04.000 Right.

00:17:05.000 That may or may not be the actual patient zero, but at the time that could be...

00:17:09.000 Is she still alive?

00:17:10.000 I don't think they really, really...

00:17:11.000 You know what's crazy?

00:17:12.000 They can trace the genetics of this virus, and they're saying that it came from people that came from Europe.

00:17:18.000 What?

00:17:19.000 Yeah, in New York City, I should say.

00:17:21.000 I mean, it obviously came from China.

00:17:22.000 But the people that got it in New York City got it from people who traveled to New York City from Europe.

00:17:28.000 And those Europeans were in China, went back home to Europe, then came to New York. 0.73

00:17:32.000 Yeah, and they think it might have gotten here as early as December and maybe even November.

00:17:38.000 Like, they don't even know.

00:17:39.000 I heard November.

00:17:40.000 I think November.

00:17:40.000 They think it got there two weeks at least before the first case.

00:17:47.000 And there's many people that could have gotten it that did not know that they got it and got over it.

00:17:52.000 I know it's the coolest thing to say right now.

00:17:54.000 Dude, I'm telling you, when I was doing Ontario Improv in December, I was the sickest I've ever been, and it lasted for 12 to 14 days.

00:18:02.000 I told my brother, you might have to take me to the emergency room.

00:18:05.000 After I got done with my last show, I was like, we're driving home, we might have to go to the emergency room. 0.96

00:18:08.000 I felt so fucking, the sickest I've ever been. 0.96

00:18:11.000 In what way? 0.98

00:18:12.000 What were you...

00:18:12.000 I had shakes, cold sweats.

00:18:15.000 I was just sick, man.

00:18:17.000 Just coughing.

00:18:18.000 Horrible coughing.

00:18:19.000 It was bad.

00:18:21.000 So the thing is, that could also be a bad flu.

00:18:23.000 Yeah, who knows?

00:18:24.000 Yeah, look, this is one of the things that we, in this text thread that you and I are in, we started sharing the numbers of people that have died from the flu.

00:18:33.000 It's stunning, man.

00:18:34.000 It's alarming.

00:18:34.000 It's stunning.

00:18:35.000 I didn't know.

00:18:36.000 I mean, I knew a lot of people died from the flu, but until you see it on paper, you're like, what?

00:18:40.000 That many?

00:18:41.000 Imagine if CNN did a whole marketing thing on how the flu's killing everyone every day. 0.99

00:18:46.000 And there's this fucking, puts all this fear in everybody. 0.99

00:18:48.000 If they did every day like they're doing for Corona, we'd be scared shitless. 0.99

00:18:51.000 True, but there's some preventative measures to deal with the flu.

00:18:54.000 And then we have flu shots and we also have Tamiflu.

00:18:58.000 There's a bunch of different remedies.

00:19:00.000 We know what the flu is.

00:19:01.000 Yeah.

00:19:01.000 This is a really dangerous one because it does something to your respiratory system where it scars the lining of the respiratory system.

00:19:08.000 It scars people's lungs and there's so much inflammation that they can't get oxygen.

00:19:13.000 Here's the other issues.

00:19:14.000 They're saying that you probably have it two days before you start showing signs.

00:19:19.000 If you show signs at all.

00:19:21.000 Yeah, some not at all.

00:19:22.000 Idris Elba apparently never showed any signs.

00:19:24.000 Stanford studies coronavirus early spread in California.

00:19:27.000 Looks at herd immunity potential.

00:19:29.000 Researchers at Stanford University trying to determine if the novel coronavirus may have been circulated in California as early as last fall.

00:19:36.000 Your boy had it.

00:19:37.000 And whether it's playing a role in the relative slow spread in the state.

00:19:40.000 Wow.

00:19:41.000 I hope we do have herd immunity.

00:19:42.000 Let's get back to the store.

00:19:43.000 Dear God.

00:19:44.000 Please.

00:19:44.000 Herd immunity.

00:19:45.000 Come on.

00:19:46.000 Joey Diaz called me the other day just to reach out to tell me he loves me and making sure I'm doing the right things.

00:19:52.000 You're doing the right thing, dog.

00:19:53.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:19:53.000 I fucking love you, Brandon Chubb. 0.98

00:19:55.000 I'm like, all right, man. 0.99

00:19:56.000 But yeah, we were talking about the comedy story, and I was like, they'll be fine, though.

00:20:00.000 He's like, maybe?

00:20:01.000 Yeah, maybe.

00:20:02.000 It's a big maybe.

00:20:03.000 It's a lot of money to run that place.

00:20:05.000 Especially at Sunset.

00:20:06.000 Fortunately for the last...

00:20:09.000 Six years?

00:20:10.000 They've been making a shitload of money.

00:20:12.000 If they're smart with it, they should be okay.

00:20:14.000 I think they...

00:20:14.000 Well, Peter Shore's a very, very bright man.

00:20:17.000 Very smart.

00:20:18.000 And I think he's doing the right thing.

00:20:20.000 And I think they'll be okay.

00:20:22.000 Look, we could always do a shitload of shows when the store comes back and donate all the money.

00:20:28.000 I'm happy to do that.

00:20:29.000 Oh, man.

00:20:30.000 I'd give them rent right now.

00:20:32.000 I'll tell you, everybody, if you didn't see my Instagram, my shows with Dave Chappelle have been moved to September.

00:20:38.000 But when I say moved to September, I go like this.

00:20:40.000 You're going to do it in September, Jeff.

00:20:42.000 I saw your post on New York.

00:20:44.000 When is that?

00:20:44.000 November?

00:20:45.000 October 3rd.

00:20:46.000 You're doing it?

00:20:47.000 Hey, dude.

00:20:48.000 It's happening in October, I bet.

00:20:49.000 I hope so.

00:20:50.000 I hope so.

00:20:51.000 Come on.

00:20:51.000 That Fauci guy said people aren't going to shake hands anymore.

00:20:54.000 Did you see that shit? 0.99

00:20:55.000 I'm bound, everyone, from now on. 1.00

00:20:57.000 Bound?

00:20:59.000 I like that.

00:21:00.000 Just because it's cool.

00:21:01.000 I like that.

00:21:01.000 Or you could do it Thai style.

00:21:03.000 No, fuck no. 1.00

00:21:04.000 That's not bad. 1.00

00:21:05.000 Steven Seagal style.

00:21:06.000 I'm going to wear beads, but I'm just going to wrap them around my wrists.

00:21:09.000 Try something like this?

00:21:11.000 Yeah.

00:21:13.000 There's been a lot of knuckleheads online with this coronavirus talking about healing and positive energy and manifesting.

00:21:22.000 Oh no. 0.91

00:21:23.000 So much nonsense. 0.95

00:21:26.000 There's a lot of nonsense. 0.98

00:21:27.000 A lot of bro science.

00:21:28.000 I throw a lot of bro science out there, but I go off a lot of numbers that I get from way smarter people than me.

00:21:32.000 Yeah, but what you're doing is you're tweeting actual facts and then throwing a little bro sciences in the mix.

00:21:39.000 Correct.

00:21:40.000 That's also my career in general.

00:21:41.000 What I'm talking about is just so many people that are just, you know, this is a global transformation and this is our opportunity.

00:21:48.000 I hope everybody gets better out of this.

00:21:51.000 I hope people recognize that our society is fragile.

00:21:56.000 Don't you see a lot...

00:21:56.000 This is another positive.

00:21:58.000 You see a lot more people working out.

00:22:00.000 Like, when I get ready to go on my bike ride, I see so many more people walking, kids, families.

00:22:06.000 They have time! 0.99

00:22:07.000 Is this what it took to get you guys to fucking walk outside? 0.99

00:22:10.000 Well, most people, you know, they don't... 0.99

00:22:14.000 I mean, unless you're working from home or, you know, you're...

00:22:19.000 If you're in any kind of service industry, your job is gone, right?

00:22:21.000 For now, so they have time.

00:22:23.000 There's a lot of people whose jobs are shut down.

00:22:26.000 I don't know what the numbers are, but there's a lot more people that are home during the day.

00:22:29.000 A lot of people are homeschooling their kids.

00:22:32.000 Yeah.

00:22:34.000 There's part of me that when Dana came out and said he's going to do the UFC, there's part of me that was super proud of him. 0.99

00:22:42.000 I know he was going to get a lot of blowback for it and the UFC's getting a lot of blowback for it, but a part of me was like, fuck yeah, dude. 0.98

00:22:49.000 Good for you, man, for figuring it out. 0.97

00:22:51.000 Good for you.

00:22:52.000 Good for you.

00:22:54.000 Pretty gangster move. 0.66

00:22:55.000 Go to an Indian reservation. 1.00

00:22:57.000 And for international fights, I bought an island, bitches. 1.00

00:23:00.000 It's like, wait, what? 0.99

00:23:01.000 Is this moral combat?

00:23:03.000 I bet someone who entered the dragon...

00:23:06.000 Wait, what?

00:23:07.000 Island fights?

00:23:08.000 Yeah, don't worry about it.

00:23:09.000 I'm not going to tell you where it's at.

00:23:10.000 I'm not telling anybody.

00:23:11.000 You're going to get on a private flight, and we're flying to the island.

00:23:14.000 You and your team.

00:23:14.000 I was like, I can't hate on the guy anymore, man.

00:23:19.000 I hope they fight in the sand. 0.64

00:23:20.000 Oh, it's so sick.

00:23:22.000 Right on the beach.

00:23:23.000 So sick.

00:23:23.000 Do you remember Bodog, when Bodog had fights on the beach?

00:23:26.000 Yeah.

00:23:28.000 Bodog was interesting, man.

00:23:30.000 People forgot about Bodog.

00:23:31.000 Fedor started there.

00:23:32.000 Kane started there.

00:23:33.000 Well, Fedor didn't start there.

00:23:34.000 I'm sorry, he didn't start there, but he did fight on there.

00:23:36.000 Kane, I think, he fought on there or started there, yeah.

00:23:40.000 Yeah, Masvidal fought Eve Edwards there. 0.98

00:23:42.000 That's right.

00:23:43.000 Stopped him with a head kick. 1.00

00:23:44.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:23:44.000 Yeah, dude, there were some great fights. 1.00

00:23:46.000 Remember when Fedor...

00:23:47.000 Did Fedor fight Matt Lindland on Bodog?

00:23:49.000 Was that Bodog in Russia?

00:23:50.000 Or was that Affliction?

00:23:51.000 No, I don't think so.

00:23:52.000 I think you're right.

00:23:53.000 I think Fedor and Matt Lindon was bodogging.

00:23:56.000 And I think Matt Lindon was about to take Fedor down, and Fedor grabbed a rope.

00:24:01.000 And it was a big controversy.

00:24:02.000 Oh, that's right.

00:24:03.000 He grabbed the rope, and then he knocked them out.

00:24:04.000 Right?

00:24:05.000 Yeah.

00:24:05.000 He slammed them?

00:24:06.000 I think he submitted them.

00:24:08.000 Here it is.

00:24:09.000 Matt Lindon and Fedor.

00:24:11.000 Yeah, so...

00:24:13.000 I know he slams them.

00:24:14.000 Matt Lindland, who at the time...

00:24:16.000 I'm pretty sure he submitted them.

00:24:17.000 I think he got them in an armbar.

00:24:18.000 He did.

00:24:19.000 He submitted them, but I remember him slamming them for some reason.

00:24:22.000 Go before that, though.

00:24:24.000 Matt Lindland's knees always scared me.

00:24:26.000 He got double under...

00:24:27.000 Yeah, he's got them in an armbar there.

00:24:29.000 So Matt Lindland got the clinch.

00:24:30.000 I believe he got double underhooks.

00:24:32.000 Yep.

00:24:32.000 And now, look.

00:24:33.000 He's elevating Fedor, and Fedor's grabbing the fucking rope! 1.00

00:24:39.000 Totally grabbed the rope. 0.99

00:24:40.000 And look, is that Dan Mergliano?

00:24:43.000 Who's trying to...

00:24:43.000 I don't know.

00:24:44.000 Eve Levine.

00:24:46.000 Eve Levine.

00:24:47.000 But look, he kept grabbing the rope.

00:24:49.000 And Matt Lindland, how did he grab the rope?

00:24:51.000 Yeah, he reversed it.

00:24:53.000 Yeah, that's why I remember.

00:24:54.000 Cheater. 1.00

00:24:55.000 Fuck, dude. 1.00

00:24:56.000 Fucking Russians, am I right? 1.00

00:25:00.000 Well, in that moment, that's just straight up cheating. 1.00

00:25:02.000 I mean, that's how he got top position.

00:25:04.000 Matt Lindland took him down. 0.99

00:25:07.000 Matt Lindland is a fucking guy who fought at 170, he fought at 185. Did he fight at 170? 0.99

00:25:14.000 He was so tough.

00:25:16.000 He fought at 185. Tough as fuck. 1.00

00:25:18.000 Tough as fuck. 1.00

00:25:19.000 About as tough as it gets. 1.00

00:25:20.000 You hear the stories about him, Hendo, Chael Sonnen.

00:25:24.000 Oh yeah.

00:25:25.000 Just the who's who, man. 1.00

00:25:26.000 He had a fuck there though. 1.00

00:25:28.000 Yeah he did. 1.00

00:25:28.000 That's bullshit. 1.00

00:25:29.000 Hey man. 1.00

00:25:30.000 That's the problem with ropes though, right?

00:25:32.000 Yeah, ropes.

00:25:32.000 They can always do it.

00:25:33.000 You remember when there's a couple moments in Pride where guys get trapped in the ropes and then submitted.

00:25:39.000 Somebody got triangled while their head was trapped in the rope and then they got triangled on top of that.

00:25:45.000 There's also nothing worse when you get knocked out and you fall through the ropes.

00:25:48.000 My God.

00:25:49.000 It's so embarrassing.

00:25:50.000 Well, how about Bernard Hopkins?

00:25:51.000 Last fight of his career, when he fought Joe Smith?

00:25:54.000 Joe Smith KOs him.

00:25:55.000 Well, he drops him, and Bernard goes through the ropes and hits his head on the ground.

00:26:00.000 Which is crazy. 0.99

00:26:02.000 You're like, how do you fucking guys not have... 0.99

00:26:04.000 Is the apron of... 0.99

00:26:09.000 A ring for boxing that expensive?

00:26:11.000 Why can't you make it bigger?

00:26:13.000 Why can't you make it so that a guy doesn't fall?

00:26:15.000 Or have security where if you see something, you know?

00:26:18.000 Well, they would have to act quickly and be there in time.

00:26:21.000 So they'd have to be around, standing up.

00:26:23.000 On the ring.

00:26:24.000 That'd be a little distracting.

00:26:25.000 It would be hugely distracting.

00:26:26.000 And it'd be terrible for the people that were watching.

00:26:28.000 But I mean, all you have to do is like what...

00:26:30.000 Do you remember what Bellator did?

00:26:31.000 What Bellator did when they were doing kickboxing and...

00:26:35.000 MMA at the same time.

00:26:36.000 So they have this round ring for Bellator, and then they put a square ring in the center of that for kickboxing.

00:26:42.000 So if you fell through the ropes, you just fell out into that round area where the Bellator cage would be.

00:26:47.000 It was perfect. 0.99

00:26:48.000 Well, to play Devil's advocate, if you're boxing, though, you're like, dude, how many times have people fallen out of the fucking ring? 0.98

00:26:53.000 We know it's Bernard Hopkins. 0.98

00:26:54.000 What if Bernard Hopkins died from that?

00:26:55.000 He's also 70 years old fighting, so it's like...

00:26:58.000 He was 51 or 52, I think.

00:27:00.000 I mean, come on, dude. 0.99

00:27:01.000 He's crazy. 1.00

00:27:01.000 Fighting this young fucking... 1.00

00:27:03.000 Oh, yeah, look at this dude. 1.00

00:27:04.000 Caught in a triangle inside the ropes.

00:27:06.000 So his leg is wrapped up in the rope, and the dude's caught in a triangle.

00:27:10.000 Crazy. 0.52

00:27:11.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:27:12.000 Ridiculous. 1.00

00:27:13.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:27:14.000 It's happened more than once, too.

00:27:16.000 People have been armbarred that way, too.

00:27:18.000 Did you think UFC 249 was going to happen?

00:27:21.000 I didn't know what was going to happen.

00:27:23.000 When Khabib couldn't make it, I was like, I bet this is going to be the end of it.

00:27:26.000 Me too.

00:27:27.000 I was like, oh, it's over. 1.00

00:27:27.000 But then I saw Kamaru Usman saying, you better get ready to make weight, bitch. 1.00

00:27:31.000 And I was like, oh my god, if Usman fights Masvidal, holy shit. 0.99

00:27:34.000 Like, that's worth it. 0.99

00:27:36.000 That's a fight. 1.00

00:27:37.000 But then when I heard it was Gagey and Ferguson, I'm like, oh, shit. 1.00

00:27:41.000 First team, all violence. 0.99

00:27:43.000 I don't know what Gagey's been doing, though.

00:27:45.000 Has he been training like he's training for a fight?

00:27:48.000 I don't know.

00:27:49.000 They asked him.

00:27:49.000 I saw, I think it was Brett Akimoto goes, how prepared are you?

00:27:54.000 And it took him a while to answer.

00:27:56.000 And then he said something to him.

00:27:57.000 I was like, oh, this could be tough.

00:27:59.000 He goes, I have 18 minutes in me.

00:28:03.000 He goes, you know, all my fights, I don't give a decision.

00:28:06.000 I either get knocked out or knock somebody out. 0.99

00:28:08.000 He goes, you know, I talk to my family, I talk to my coaches, I don't have 18 minutes of fucking fury. 0.98

00:28:13.000 And he goes, and it's pretty tough to deal with. 0.98

00:28:15.000 And I was like, God.

00:28:16.000 It is tough to deal with, but if there's anybody that has the endurance to take it to that 18 minutes and keep going, it's Tony.

00:28:25.000 Tony has the most endurance I've ever seen.

00:28:27.000 But the only thing that's a little scary when I hear him say that, he does throw Kosh in the wind. 0.96

00:28:31.000 Gaethje does.

00:28:32.000 And it's tough to deal with because he's probably the hardest hitter at 55. And Tony gets hit, man.

00:28:37.000 That's one thing about Tony. 0.92

00:28:38.000 He does like to get hit. 0.50

00:28:40.000 I think he actually enjoys it and he welcomes it.

00:28:42.000 With Gaethje, I don't know if he can play that game, especially for 18 minutes.

00:28:46.000 Well, I don't know if he enjoys it.

00:28:47.000 I just think that he has this pressure-forward style.

00:28:50.000 He's game for it.

00:28:51.000 Yeah, he's game.

00:28:52.000 He's 100% game for it.

00:28:53.000 But he has such a pressure style that it's inevitable that you get hit.

00:28:56.000 You know, he's not fighting like Wonderboy or something like that.

00:28:59.000 He's not fighting Elusive or Mighty Mouse.

00:29:01.000 He's fighting.

00:29:02.000 He's trying to break you. 1.00

00:29:03.000 I mean, in Tony's fights, there's somewhere around the second or third round where you see the look in these guys' faces like, motherfucker. 0.99

00:29:09.000 I know. 0.98

00:29:09.000 How's he keeping up this pace? 0.98

00:29:11.000 Justin's kind of the same way.

00:29:12.000 He just goes forward like a little tank.

00:29:14.000 He keeps going.

00:29:15.000 It's such a good fight.

00:29:16.000 My favorite fight with Justin was Barboza.

00:29:18.000 Because Barboza's a savage.

00:29:20.000 And Justin just ran him over. 0.97

00:29:23.000 Ran him over.

00:29:24.000 His fight with Poirier, even his fight with Eddie Alvarez.

00:29:26.000 He lost both, but all of them were good, man.

00:29:28.000 Oh, they were great.

00:29:29.000 Poirier, his leg was almost done.

00:29:31.000 It was almost done, but Poirier pulled it out with a knockout.

00:29:34.000 Poirier actually came out on record and said he thinks Gaethje's going to win.

00:29:37.000 Really?

00:29:37.000 Yeah.

00:29:38.000 That's because he's never fought Tony.

00:29:40.000 You know?

00:29:41.000 He's fought Gaethje and beat him, and it would be great if Gaethje beat Tony, and then it makes him look good.

00:29:47.000 I don't necessarily know if that's...

00:29:49.000 I mean, it's not that Tony can't win.

00:29:52.000 It's not that Gaethje can't win either. 0.99

00:29:56.000 It's like, in my opinion, this is a who the fuck knows. 1.00

00:29:59.000 It's a who the fuck knows, especially in these conditions. 1.00

00:30:01.000 It's like, what camp have they had? 0.99

00:30:03.000 Especially Justin.

00:30:05.000 Well, I know Tony's had a camp.

00:30:06.000 Tony's had a camp, but everything's not normal.

00:30:10.000 Yeah, but Tony's not normal.

00:30:14.000 Tony's not normal.

00:30:15.000 If anyone's going to thrive in the situation, it's Tony.

00:30:17.000 He didn't spar at all, apparently, according to everyone that I've talked to, for the Pettis fight, after his surgery.

00:30:25.000 So the guy has knee surgery, like a really complex knee surgery, where his ligament is reattached to his leg, and he has a massive scar.

00:30:33.000 I mean, he's got a 12-inch scar on the side of his leg.

00:30:37.000 Five months later, he's fighting again. 0.96

00:30:38.000 He's crazy. 0.99

00:30:39.000 That's nuts. 1.00

00:30:40.000 That's nuts.

00:30:41.000 And didn't do any sparring.

00:30:42.000 Just rehabbed everything, got himself in shape.

00:30:45.000 He looked pretty good. 0.98

00:30:46.000 He looked fucking fantastic. 0.98

00:30:47.000 He got wobbled in that fight. 0.99

00:30:48.000 Of course he did.

00:30:49.000 He's fighting Pettis.

00:30:50.000 Pettis is a master striker.

00:30:52.000 Pettis knocked out Wonderboy with a Superman punch.

00:30:54.000 100%.

00:30:54.000 Yeah.

00:30:55.000 I don't know if he can take those same hits the way...

00:30:57.000 Gaethje hits, though.

00:30:58.000 It's a good question.

00:30:59.000 Gaethje comes after you, man. 0.99

00:31:01.000 He comes out, and he's got phenomenal leg kicks.

00:31:04.000 His leg kicks are sensational.

00:31:06.000 And he throws leg kicks from crazy angles, too.

00:31:09.000 He'll be right up tight with you, right here, and he's chopping at your leg.

00:31:15.000 It's amazing.

00:31:15.000 It's interesting how he does it.

00:31:18.000 He doesn't have a Muay Thai background, which is really crazy. 0.97

00:31:21.000 He just learned to kick about four years ago.

00:31:23.000 Well, more than that, because I remember in the PFL, he was five years old.

00:31:25.000 I'm just saying, he has no kickboxing background.

00:31:28.000 He came from University of Northern Colorado to Grudge Training Center with Trevor Whitman and all of us, and came in there as a pure wrestler with terrible eyesight. 1.00

00:31:36.000 He'd always take his glass off and squint, and he's just this fucking monster. 0.99

00:31:41.000 And then he started teaching him to leg kick, and I'm like, holy shit, the guy can leg kick. 1.00

00:31:44.000 But it's crazy how good he does it. 0.98

00:31:46.000 He's amazing at it.

00:31:47.000 His leg kicks are sensational.

00:31:49.000 You would think that he was some Muay Thai champion or something like that.

00:31:52.000 It's amazing.

00:31:52.000 Yeah.

00:31:53.000 This is what I want.

00:31:55.000 I want to see Tony shoot for a takedown.

00:31:58.000 I don't know why.

00:31:59.000 I know, obviously, Justin Gaethje has phenomenal wrestling.

00:32:02.000 He's so athletic, and he's an All-American at Northern Colorado.

00:32:05.000 Tony's a stud, too.

00:32:06.000 I think he's a Juco champ. 1.00

00:32:08.000 Someone shoot in on the fucking guy. 1.00

00:32:11.000 No one does it. 1.00

00:32:12.000 Yeah, no one does it.

00:32:13.000 Well, what's interesting about Gaethje is you never see him wrestling.

00:32:16.000 That's what's so crazy.

00:32:17.000 It's like the guy's got this great wrestling pedigree, but he just strikes with everybody and smashes.

00:32:22.000 And smashes real strikers like Barboza.

00:32:25.000 He wants to be violent.

00:32:26.000 Yeah.

00:32:26.000 He wants it all violent.

00:32:27.000 It's so nuts.

00:32:28.000 This fight's actually not that, you know, obviously I want Khabib, Tony.

00:32:33.000 That's the greatest fight in UFC history, I think, at lightweight.

00:32:35.000 It's cursed! 1.00

00:32:36.000 It's fucking, dude. 1.00

00:32:37.000 It's such a shame. 1.00

00:32:39.000 Five times?

00:32:40.000 Five times it's been canceled. 1.00

00:32:42.000 What the fuck? 0.99

00:32:43.000 I want to see that. 0.99

00:32:44.000 That's the fight of the two of the best 155s on the planet.

00:32:47.000 But Gaethje, Tony, I think, will be more entertaining.

00:32:51.000 Are you serious?

00:32:51.000 Because they're so violent.

00:32:53.000 Think of these two fucking maniacs. 1.00

00:32:57.000 This fight can't be boring. 1.00

00:32:58.000 It's impossible to be boring.

00:32:59.000 I think you're right.

00:33:01.000 I don't think it can be boring.

00:33:02.000 However...

00:33:04.000 I said that about Stylebender versus Yoel Romero.

00:33:07.000 I thought that was going to be chaos.

00:33:08.000 Well, you didn't know Yoel wasn't going to fight.

00:33:10.000 Yeah.

00:33:11.000 I guarantee you Gaethje and Tony are going to fight.

00:33:14.000 Well, I also said that about Ngannou and Derrick Lewis. 0.99

00:33:18.000 I didn't know Derrick Lewis' fucking back gave out. 0.99

00:33:20.000 I didn't know Francis had a blown fucking ACL or whatever it was. 0.99

00:33:23.000 Did he? 0.99

00:33:24.000 Francis had a blown ACL? He was injured in that fight.

00:33:26.000 Both of them were injured.

00:33:26.000 I didn't know Francis was injured.

00:33:28.000 I thought his mind was hesitant.

00:33:30.000 Apparently, both of them had injuries.

00:33:32.000 Oh, I didn't know that.

00:33:33.000 Bro, that's a fight this weekend.

00:33:36.000 Engano and Rosenstreich.

00:33:38.000 It should be.

00:33:39.000 It should be. 0.72

00:33:40.000 They had Greg Hardy and whoever the fuck he's fighting above that.

00:33:44.000 I'm like, what are you guys doing? 0.91

00:33:45.000 I think that was because it was on ESPN. The other one was on ESPN+. I think the idea was that you're going to have Engano and Rosenstreich, which is just fucking.

00:33:52.000 It's like the main event for ESPN+. That's Disneyland at the end of the night. 0.98

00:33:55.000 Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

00:33:57.000 That fight is crazy.

00:33:58.000 Rosenstreich, people better not be sleeping on him, man.

00:34:01.000 No.

00:34:01.000 He's a terrifying man.

00:34:03.000 He's a professional kickboxer.

00:34:04.000 And he takes a tremendous shot.

00:34:07.000 You look at Overeem didn't do nothing to him.

00:34:10.000 They fought for the entire five rounds.

00:34:12.000 He didn't do nothing to him until Rosenstreich caught him with that bomb.

00:34:15.000 Rosenstreich was going to lose that fight.

00:34:17.000 He was going to lose that fight.

00:34:18.000 He was going to lose that fight.

00:34:20.000 Oh, it's in the prelims still.

00:34:23.000 No, it's co-main event now.

00:34:25.000 I talked to his agent last night.

00:34:26.000 Oh, this is because the Rose Namajunas fight is pulled off.

00:34:29.000 Do they still have Rose on there?

00:34:31.000 No.

00:34:31.000 Okay, Uriah Hall and Jacare Souza.

00:34:35.000 People were saying that it was Ryan Hall.

00:34:38.000 Yeah, you guys texted that, and I didn't text back because I thought you guys were joking.

00:34:41.000 No, somebody sent me a meme.

00:34:43.000 That said Ryan Hall versus Jacaray-Souza, and I was like, is that real?

00:34:47.000 And Eddie goes, can they even do it in the weight class?

00:34:49.000 And I thought you guys, I was like, they're joking.

00:34:52.000 So I didn't respond to it.

00:34:53.000 I didn't think it was a joke.

00:34:54.000 But of course it's Ryan Hall.

00:34:55.000 Look, Ryan Hall has such a hard time finding opponents.

00:35:00.000 He got a fight, though.

00:35:01.000 Did he?

00:35:01.000 He got a fight.

00:35:02.000 Who?

00:35:04.000 A stud.

00:35:05.000 He's fighting a stud.

00:35:06.000 Is he?

00:35:08.000 Ricardo Lamas.

00:35:09.000 Okay, that's a good fight for him. 0.99

00:35:10.000 That's a tough fucking fight. 0.99

00:35:11.000 Nobody wants to fight Ryan Hall, man. 0.99

00:35:13.000 Exactly.

00:35:14.000 Finally gets returned.

00:35:15.000 Yes.

00:35:15.000 Ricardo Lamas and May.

00:35:17.000 Yeah, he's so difficult because Hall is so tall and long.

00:35:22.000 But also, how dare you guys think he was fighting?

00:35:24.000 I didn't understand it. 1.00

00:35:26.000 I thought maybe he just said, fuck it. 1.00

00:35:27.000 I have no camp, but I want to fight. 1.00

00:35:29.000 I'd weigh 185. I'd watch the shit out of that. 0.99

00:35:32.000 Imagine, I mean, I don't think he's losing 40 pounds in between fights, but he's a tall guy. 0.98

00:35:37.000 He's like six feet, isn't he, Ryan Hall?

00:35:39.000 Yeah, he's not short for the division. 1.00

00:35:42.000 Yeah, he's thin, but I mean, fuck. 0.99

00:35:44.000 And he's also, he's a Farasa hobby guy, right? 1.00

00:35:48.000 Rahal?

00:35:48.000 Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's training at TriStar.

00:35:51.000 No, he trains down here now.

00:35:52.000 He's out of Cali.

00:35:53.000 He has his own gym in Orange County, and he trains at Kenny Florian's.

00:35:56.000 Did he ever train with Zahabi?

00:35:58.000 Why do I feel like he was with Zahabi?

00:36:00.000 Maybe he did early on, but he's been out of Cali.

00:36:04.000 Interesting.

00:36:04.000 His own school and then Kenny's.

00:36:06.000 What's his camp?

00:36:08.000 Who's putting together the camp?

00:36:09.000 I don't know who his head guy is.

00:36:11.000 Alexander Hernandez comes back.

00:36:13.000 That's a great fight.

00:36:14.000 I don't know. 0.99

00:36:15.000 Dude, I don't think people realize the fucking... 0.99

00:36:20.000 Depth. 1.00

00:36:20.000 Dude, Francis Ngannou vs Rosenstruck is insane! 1.00

00:36:24.000 That's gonna be amazing.

00:36:25.000 And if you just...

00:36:27.000 Marlon Vieira and Ray Borg, that's a good fight too. 0.96

00:36:30.000 Ridiculous. 0.90

00:36:30.000 People don't give Francis enough credit. 0.90

00:36:32.000 You look at his record, you're like...

00:36:34.000 Well, obviously he had his hiccup against Stipe and then the Derrick Lewis, I don't count.

00:36:38.000 But besides Stipe, dude, the run and the dudes that he's beat, if he were to become champion, you're talking top five of all time, man.

00:36:46.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:36:46.000 You look at his record like, holy shit. 0.98

00:36:48.000 If he becomes champion, I mean... 0.99

00:36:50.000 Knocked out Cain Velasquez, knocked out JDS, Alistair Overeem.

00:36:54.000 Yep.

00:36:55.000 Andre Orlovsky.

00:36:56.000 I mean, the who's who.

00:36:58.000 And the way he knocks him out, that's the thing.

00:37:01.000 It's just the way he knocks him out.

00:37:03.000 But he's getting old.

00:37:04.000 I mean, he's getting up there in age.

00:37:06.000 He's like 37 now, I think.

00:37:07.000 Dude, you know something to think about with Khabib, Tony, and these guys?

00:37:11.000 Does it say how old he is?

00:37:13.000 He has to be 30-something.

00:37:14.000 You know Tony's 36. Is he?

00:37:17.000 And for a heavyweight, it doesn't matter.

00:37:19.000 For a lightweight, that's long in the tooth.

00:37:21.000 Yeah.

00:37:22.000 It's not gonna say it there.

00:37:24.000 They hide that information.

00:37:27.000 But let me see the main card.

00:37:28.000 What's the main card look like now?

00:37:30.000 The card's so filthy.

00:37:31.000 I just took that one off, was it?

00:37:33.000 Jeremy Stephens, Calvin Kadar?

00:37:35.000 Down here on the bottom.

00:37:36.000 What?

00:37:37.000 Down on the bottom of the screen if you can see that.

00:37:39.000 Oh, okay.

00:37:40.000 Jeremy Stephens, Calvin Kadar is a fantastic fight. 0.99

00:37:43.000 Dude, how about fucking your boys on there? 0.99

00:37:46.000 Nico Price, Luque. 0.99

00:37:48.000 It still says Greg Hardy is the co-main, but that's been changed, right?

00:37:53.000 From what I understand, he's the co-main event.

00:37:58.000 Jeremy Stephens and Calvin Cater, that's the sleeper of the night.

00:38:01.000 I think Calvin Cater is the dark horse of the 145-pound division. 1.00

00:38:05.000 That motherfucker's scary. 1.00

00:38:07.000 He's a beast. 1.00

00:38:08.000 I mean, he's had...

00:38:10.000 I think he's had two losses inside the octagon.

00:38:13.000 I think... 1.00

00:38:15.000 God, that's a fucking fight. 1.00

00:38:18.000 Renato Moicano beat him with leg kicks. 0.99

00:38:21.000 He made a real good adjustment and started catching him with leg kicks and won a decision.

00:38:28.000 And then he beat a bunch of guys and lost his beat.

00:38:32.000 And he lost his beat in a fight where he was...

00:38:36.000 He was dominating that third round.

00:38:39.000 Yeah, that was a toss-up.

00:38:40.000 He was dominating that third round.

00:38:42.000 And I was like, man, if this is a five-round fight, I like Cater.

00:38:45.000 Me too, all day. 0.99

00:38:46.000 He fucked up Llamas. 1.00

00:38:48.000 That was a fight where right away you could see the difference in the hands. 0.98

00:38:52.000 Calvin trains a lot with boxers.

00:38:54.000 He's got vicious hands, like super accurate and really long.

00:38:58.000 If you go to his Instagram, he put up the KO of Lamas.

00:39:02.000 It's very interesting because he ranges him.

00:39:05.000 He ranges him and then he drops these super long punches on him.

00:39:10.000 He's a Boston kid, right?

00:39:11.000 Yeah.

00:39:13.000 Watch how he sets this up.

00:39:16.000 He moves his hands.

00:39:17.000 See the range?

00:39:18.000 Boom! 0.99

00:39:19.000 The length of that.

00:39:20.000 And he's huge for a 45 or two.

00:39:23.000 Real tall and long. 1.00

00:39:24.000 But the fucking torque in that right hand. 0.99

00:39:27.000 He spins him around with the left and then puts the lights out with the right. 0.99

00:39:32.000 Look at that. 0.99

00:39:32.000 That is fucking picture perfect, man. 0.99

00:39:35.000 Picture perfect. 1.00

00:39:36.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:39:37.000 Irish Mickey Ward says good luck, Calvin. 1.00

00:39:39.000 Wow.

00:39:39.000 How about seeing that?

00:39:41.000 Looking down.

00:39:41.000 Six guns Gibson, yeah.

00:39:44.000 But that one, too, was sensational.

00:39:46.000 Dude, him versus Stevens is a phenomenal fight.

00:39:48.000 Phenomenal fight.

00:39:49.000 Phenomenal fight.

00:39:49.000 You look at all the fights, it's like, man, fire the night, good luck.

00:39:53.000 I know, right?

00:39:53.000 Nico Price?

00:39:54.000 I know.

00:39:54.000 Luque?

00:39:55.000 I know.

00:39:55.000 Vicente Luque is an animal, and Nico Price is an animal.

00:39:59.000 Both those guys together, that's a...

00:40:00.000 I couldn't believe...

00:40:01.000 Go back to that.

00:40:01.000 Go back to what you just had up there, Jimmy.

00:40:04.000 The whole full card.

00:40:05.000 I get those to him.

00:40:07.000 There it is.

00:40:08.000 I couldn't believe when the UFC announced this, some people hated on it. 1.00

00:40:11.000 I'm like, you fucking negative bitches. 1.00

00:40:14.000 That's just how it is. 1.00

00:40:15.000 That's insane!

00:40:16.000 That's just how it is.

00:40:16.000 We're in the Corona Times and Dana pulled this off?

00:40:19.000 The Corona Times.

00:40:21.000 We're in the Corona Times? 0.99

00:40:22.000 Dude, if this was a regular pay-per-view, it'd make my dick hard, let alone with Corona. 0.98

00:40:26.000 This is amazing. 0.98

00:40:28.000 The Greg Hardy, DiCastro, listen, not a highly skilled fight. 0.98

00:40:32.000 Somebody's going to fucking sleep, hopefully. 0.92

00:40:34.000 But to be co-main event is a little crazy. 0.98

00:40:36.000 Well, I was interested that Greg Hardy stepped up and fought Volcon.

00:40:41.000 And didn't look bad.

00:40:42.000 Didn't look bad.

00:40:43.000 Didn't get annihilated.

00:40:44.000 Didn't get annihilated against one of the best heavyweights in the division.

00:40:46.000 Correct.

00:40:47.000 I mean, Alexander is a really technical fighter.

00:40:50.000 Super stud.

00:40:50.000 And real long.

00:40:51.000 Real tall and long.

00:40:53.000 I mean, look at what he did to Fabrizio Verdun.

00:40:54.000 Fabrizio Verdun was the UFC heavyweight champion. 0.98

00:40:56.000 He fucked him up. 0.97

00:40:57.000 And Greg Hardy went the distance with him and did not look bad. 1.00

00:41:00.000 And had one hand.

00:41:01.000 Yeah, broke his hand early in the fight.

00:41:03.000 He's going to get better.

00:41:04.000 He's a stud athlete.

00:41:06.000 The difference between guys like, first of all, he doesn't have another way, right? 0.99

00:41:12.000 He doesn't have a fucking football career anymore. 0.98

00:41:14.000 He's not going to play pro baseball. 1.00

00:41:15.000 This is it.

00:41:16.000 There's no podcast.

00:41:17.000 There's nothing else.

00:41:18.000 This is it.

00:41:19.000 And he's got a dicey past in terms of the law.

00:41:22.000 Some would say the diciest.

00:41:23.000 It's pretty dicey.

00:41:24.000 Then Jon Jones says, hold my beer.

00:41:25.000 Yeah.

00:41:28.000 Hold my tequila. 1.00

00:41:32.000 But Greg Hardy is a fucking elite athlete. 0.99

00:41:35.000 He's a guy who knows how to be a professional athlete. 0.99

00:41:38.000 He was all pro, Joe.

00:41:39.000 Yeah, he's legit, man.

00:41:41.000 Super stud athlete.

00:41:42.000 Pro baller.

00:41:43.000 But there's a thing about guys like that where from the time they're young, they realize this insane work ethic is how you make it.

00:41:50.000 And they also, they're used to these regimented programs, right?

00:41:54.000 Where a lot of football players, and you can speak on this, they're used to these programs where everybody's doing the same kind of work versus boxers or MMA fighters.

00:42:05.000 Yeah, you're on your own.

00:42:05.000 You're on your own, and sometimes you half-ass it, and sometimes you're not disciplined.

00:42:09.000 You fuck off, you don't go to kickboxing. 1.00

00:42:11.000 You decide, I don't want to go to jiu-jitsu today and want to fuck my girlfriend. 1.00

00:42:14.000 That kind of shit doesn't happen in football. 1.00

00:42:16.000 Doesn't work that way, especially at University of Colorado, Ohio State. 0.99

00:42:20.000 So if you're one of ten linebackers, and you're all doing the exact same thing, you're all fighting for your job every day.

00:42:27.000 And if you, for whatever reason, don't do something well, and this guy does, he's probably going to play over you.

00:42:33.000 So you're like, it's this heightened...

00:42:35.000 Freaking competition all the time, man.

00:42:37.000 And it brings the best out of you.

00:42:39.000 It does.

00:42:40.000 Eric Anders was a football player too, right?

00:42:43.000 Yeah.

00:42:43.000 Alabama stud.

00:42:44.000 Go watch his fight with Khalil Rountree.

00:42:46.000 Oh, he looked amazing. 1.00

00:42:47.000 And the motherfucker doesn't flinch. 0.99

00:42:49.000 Khalil Rountree was lighting him up. 1.00

00:42:51.000 Lighting him up.

00:42:52.000 He never flinched. 0.99

00:42:53.000 Khalil Rountree was fucking his legs up in a way very rarely you see. 1.00

00:42:58.000 His leg was so fucked up. 1.00

00:43:00.000 And Khalil was full Muay Thai, light on the front legs. 1.00

00:43:03.000 Whack! 1.00

00:43:05.000 And you're like, woo!

00:43:06.000 Dude, when Khalil's on his game, he displays some of the best Muay Thai you're going to see in the UFC. Eric Andrews, I know you don't watch football, Joe, so he played at Alabama, and he was on the national champion team, so that's like creme de la creme.

00:43:19.000 Doesn't get better than that.

00:43:20.000 That's like wrestling at Ohio State or Oklahoma.

00:43:22.000 He's a high-level football player.

00:43:24.000 Well, he's a stud.

00:43:26.000 That guy is an animal in terms of his ability to endure pain and his ability to press forward.

00:43:33.000 And, you know, and fights a lot.

00:43:35.000 Takes fights, take a fight a light heavyweight, take a fight at 185. He's game.

00:43:39.000 He's game as fuck. 1.00

00:43:40.000 And again, that's the thing. 1.00

00:43:41.000 It's like these elite athletes, these guys who know what it takes to be a winner.

00:43:45.000 You know?

00:43:47.000 Those Greg Hardy guys, Eric Andrews guys, and we're going to get more of those.

00:43:50.000 There's going to be more guys like that.

00:43:52.000 Let's see a path.

00:43:53.000 And there's more guys like that that...

00:43:57.000 Don't want to rely on a team. 1.00

00:44:00.000 If the team they're on sucks, they don't shine, they'd rather kill what they eat. 1.00

00:44:07.000 100%. 1.00

00:44:07.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:44:07.000 There's a lot of guys like that, where they'd rather just go out and do it themselves, and MMA is a sport where they can do that. 1.00

00:44:14.000 So you see a lot of these guys, they start practicing MMA off-season, they train a little bit off-season.

00:44:20.000 I wouldn't be surprised if John's brother, Arthur, gets into MMA. Both of them.

00:44:24.000 I mean, Chandler's all pro, too.

00:44:26.000 Pro baller.

00:44:27.000 But Arthur trains with him a lot, doesn't he?

00:44:29.000 Yeah, a ton.

00:44:30.000 Yeah, he's huge.

00:44:31.000 He's such a big boy.

00:44:32.000 He's huge.

00:44:33.000 So big.

00:44:34.000 And he could fight, man.

00:44:35.000 If he decided to start fighting, take on a few pro fights.

00:44:38.000 I mean, I think John said in interviews, but I remember when John and I were talking, he...

00:44:43.000 I mean, Arthur gives them problems.

00:44:45.000 Oh, yeah.

00:44:45.000 If they wrestle, it's problems.

00:44:47.000 Bro, he's huge.

00:44:48.000 And explosive.

00:44:49.000 And he's huge.

00:44:50.000 And the nicest guy.

00:44:51.000 The nicest guy, but he's so big.

00:44:53.000 The brothers don't have problems, though, huh? 0.96

00:44:55.000 You don't really hear much about the brothers fucking up. 0.98

00:44:58.000 Well, they've both been popped for steroids. 0.94

00:45:00.000 Yeah, I mean, that's sports, though. 0.99

00:45:02.000 I'm talking about, like, hanging out at Albuquerque at four in the morning with bombs and fucking shooting guns out of them. 0.99

00:45:08.000 Yeah, well, they do get hit in the head. 0.98

00:45:11.000 They get hit in the head football style, which, by the way, I got through the Wander-y series.

00:45:15.000 I still haven't watched the Netflix documentary on your boy that looks exactly like you, Aaron Hernandez. 0.99

00:45:20.000 That's why I grew my shit out. 0.99

00:45:22.000 We like so much like each other. 0.99

00:45:24.000 So much is hilarious! 0.97

00:45:26.000 But goddamn, dude, that Wondry podcast series, Warrior. 0.98

00:45:30.000 It's so good. 0.99

00:45:31.000 It's so good.

00:45:32.000 I was gripped.

00:45:33.000 It was one of those, you know, sometimes you get a podcast series like that.

00:45:36.000 Like another one is The Dropout about that Elizabeth Holmes chick that robbed everybody with that Theranos company.

00:45:45.000 Oh, that's right.

00:45:45.000 That's another one.

00:45:46.000 Is it good? 1.00

00:45:47.000 Holy shit, is it good? 1.00

00:45:48.000 I need a good one. 1.00

00:45:49.000 There's a few of those where you start them and you're like, what the fuck? 0.98

00:45:52.000 Dude, sometimes I'll sit in my car and wait till the episode's done. 0.99

00:45:55.000 I'm like so into it.

00:45:57.000 I'm on something right now that I know you read.

00:46:00.000 That Chaos book.

00:46:01.000 The Charles Manson book?

00:46:02.000 Yes.

00:46:02.000 Bro, he's coming in.

00:46:04.000 Tom O'Neil's coming in next week. 1.00

00:46:06.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:46:06.000 Yes. 1.00

00:46:06.000 I'm in the middle of that book right now. 1.00

00:46:08.000 It's so good. 1.00

00:46:10.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:46:12.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:46:13.000 You look at Manson a little different. 0.99

00:46:14.000 You look at the whole thing a little different.

00:46:15.000 Yes.

00:46:16.000 You're like, what?

00:46:17.000 Yeah, I don't want to say too much because I want Tom to explain.

00:46:20.000 When are you having him on?

00:46:21.000 Next week. 0.97

00:46:21.000 That book's so fucking good. 0.97

00:46:23.000 Dude, I'm balls deep in that book right now. 0.99

00:46:24.000 I've been ranting and raving about that book for a grip.

00:46:27.000 Well, the things that are absolutely provable that he knows, Charles Manson, the CIA, and the secret history of the 60s.

00:46:36.000 The things that are absolutely 100% provable, just those things, are mind-blowers.

00:46:42.000 Where you're like, whoa.

00:46:43.000 And it's documented, too. 0.97

00:46:45.000 How the CIA and the LSD house and Haight-Ashbury in San Francisco and how he was doing wild shit and the CIA would let him go. 0.87

00:46:53.000 Or how he was out here at that ranch and the cops never... 0.99

00:46:57.000 People would go, dude, he's doing wild shit. 1.00

00:46:59.000 Arrest him. 1.00

00:47:00.000 They're like, we're told not to touch him.

00:47:01.000 You're like...

00:47:02.000 What?

00:47:02.000 Yeah.

00:47:03.000 The fuck? 1.00

00:47:04.000 They killed the caretaker at that ranch. 1.00

00:47:05.000 They didn't find that guy's body until the late 70s. 1.00

00:47:08.000 Yeah, they did a lot of shit. 0.99

00:47:10.000 It's one of my favorite books. 1.00

00:47:11.000 It's a very good book. 0.99

00:47:13.000 They did a lot of shit in the 1970s with drugs and people for experiments. 0.99

00:47:19.000 The 60s and the 70s. 1.00

00:47:21.000 And that's how they created the Unabomber, man. 0.98

00:47:24.000 Ted Kaczynski was a part of the Harvard LSD program.

00:47:27.000 Yeah, did you watch that documentary?

00:47:28.000 The Net?

00:47:29.000 Is that the one you saw?

00:47:30.000 It's on Netflix.

00:47:31.000 Which one is it?

00:47:32.000 I forget, but it's about the Unabomber, and I didn't know that. 0.98

00:47:35.000 I'm like, why was he so fucked up? 0.96

00:47:37.000 Oh, is it Manhunter? 0.99

00:47:38.000 I think so, yes.

00:47:39.000 Yeah, I haven't watched that one.

00:47:39.000 It's so good.

00:47:41.000 No, there's another one.

00:47:41.000 There's another one?

00:47:42.000 Yeah.

00:47:42.000 What's the other one called Unabomber in His Own Words?

00:47:45.000 So it's the first time that he only let one person ever interview him, and it's all the tapes from the interview? 0.99

00:47:51.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:47:52.000 And, you know, his defense team goes, listen, dude, you're not going to get the death penalty if you just plead insanity. 1.00

00:47:58.000 He goes, I'm not insane.

00:48:00.000 He goes, do I seem insane to you?

00:48:02.000 He goes, I'm not insane.

00:48:03.000 And so he fired his defense team because they wanted to say he was insane. 0.86

00:48:07.000 He goes, I'd rather die than be called insane.

00:48:09.000 He's like, I'm not insane.

00:48:10.000 I'm a genius. 1.00

00:48:13.000 Goddamn, dude. 1.00

00:48:13.000 He was smart as fuck. 1.00

00:48:16.000 Well, he might be too smart because he's actually, look, he's not correct to kill those people, but he is correct that technology is eventually going to overcome people. 0.99

00:48:26.000 Now imagine, we're going deep down the Eddie Bravo rabbit hole.

00:48:30.000 I love it.

00:48:31.000 Imagine if you were Artificial intelligence, and you had decided you wanted to assimilate with people, but you had to convince people.

00:48:40.000 One of the best ways to convince people is to get them addicted to technology.

00:48:45.000 Check.

00:48:45.000 Done.

00:48:46.000 Right?

00:48:46.000 Everybody's addicted to technology.

00:48:48.000 Cell phone.

00:48:48.000 Then get them connected through social media apps.

00:48:51.000 Get them connected to technology.

00:48:53.000 I mean, how many times you go to a restaurant?

00:48:55.000 Well, not right now, not at all, but any time you go out in public before the quarantine, everybody was on their phone.

00:49:00.000 Check.

00:49:01.000 Now you throw a virus in there.

00:49:03.000 So now they can't be with people.

00:49:05.000 And then you make it so when they see people, they can't touch them.

00:49:08.000 They can't hug people.

00:49:09.000 They can't shake hands.

00:49:10.000 They have to make distance.

00:49:12.000 So now the only way you can connect with people is through Zoom or FaceTime.

00:49:17.000 Technology.

00:49:18.000 Technology.

00:49:18.000 And then while we're all quarantined, you're installing 5G towers.

00:49:22.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:49:26.000 Did you post that?

00:49:27.000 Yes.

00:49:28.000 That little Duvall? 0.99

00:49:29.000 Little Duvall, yeah. 1.00

00:49:30.000 He goes, tell me, because you've done motherfuckers. 0.99

00:49:33.000 Because we need the 5G towers. 0.99

00:49:34.000 Five countries have 5G towers. 1.00

00:49:37.000 More than 100 countries have coronavirus, you fucking idiots. 1.00

00:49:40.000 It's not 5G. It's the best point. 1.00

00:49:43.000 The best point.

00:49:43.000 It's one of those points where you go, oh yeah, yeah.

00:49:45.000 I saw Tyrese posted.

00:49:47.000 He's like, y'all need to look at this 5G. That's what's causing all this and killing kids and coronavirus.

00:49:51.000 I was like, oh, buddy.

00:49:53.000 Oh, buddy.

00:49:53.000 Just make Fast and Furious 19. Shut the fuck up.

00:49:57.000 They probably don't want him on it anymore. 1.00

00:49:58.000 Yeah, they probably don't. 0.99

00:49:58.000 There's so many fucking people that think of 5G as what's killing people. 0.99

00:50:01.000 But it's like, there's always going to be that thing where whenever something happens, people look for some nefarious backwoods sort of fucking... 0.98

00:50:10.000 I also think, you know, in this time, it's very easy to get down and depressed, and a lot of people thrive in that, so they want it to be bad. 0.93

00:50:18.000 It's like, God, get out of here, man.

00:50:20.000 Dude, you're right.

00:50:21.000 Get out of here.

00:50:22.000 You're right.

00:50:23.000 There are people that are, like, they're happy the world's falling apart.

00:50:25.000 Yeah.

00:50:27.000 Thriving.

00:50:27.000 I saw some lady write some post about Justin Bieber.

00:50:32.000 She was making fun of Justin Bieber's house.

00:50:35.000 Which, by the way, looks pretty pimp. 1.00

00:50:37.000 Looks fucking dope. 0.99

00:50:38.000 Yeah, I know. 1.00

00:50:39.000 They're like, it's so disgusting. 1.00

00:50:40.000 It looks like a stupid Sim City house. 1.00

00:50:43.000 But then she wrote, eat the rich. 1.00

00:50:46.000 And I'm like, what?

00:50:48.000 I'm like, he's a singer.

00:50:49.000 Meanwhile, she looks like an armadillo. 1.00

00:50:52.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:50:53.000 Let's eat you, bitch. 1.00

00:50:55.000 Take the shell off. 1.00

00:50:57.000 Throw an armadillo on the barbie.

00:51:00.000 Take the shell off. 0.86

00:51:01.000 People are so crazy, though, because they're angry and they're frustrated. 0.81

00:51:04.000 Is it his fault that he's a super successful musician that has a crazy dope house?

00:51:09.000 And super talented?

00:51:11.000 And also, that house? 1.00

00:51:12.000 Let me look at your house, bitch. 1.00

00:51:13.000 Let me look at the armadillo house. 1.00

00:51:15.000 That's why she's angry. 0.97

00:51:16.000 That's why she's like, oh, eat the rich. 1.00

00:51:18.000 She doesn't have a house. 0.97

00:51:18.000 I saw one guy post this thing, me and Cal talked to us, and he goes, hey, I've heard horrible stories about Ellen. 0.97

00:51:24.000 For every bad story you guys share, I'll donate $2 to this corona.

00:51:28.000 I'm like, dude, what's wrong with you, man?

00:51:31.000 Do something positive.

00:51:32.000 You think this is positive? 1.00

00:51:33.000 Hate on fucking Ellen? 1.00

00:51:34.000 People are cooped up, and they're filled with anger, and they find a target for that anger. 1.00

00:51:39.000 They're filled with anxiety and depression and rage.

00:51:44.000 So do something to be creative, man.

00:51:46.000 Do something to get out of it.

00:51:48.000 Good call.

00:51:49.000 Don't hate on the people who are doing it.

00:51:52.000 That's why you're in that position.

00:51:53.000 Do you see what Ellen did?

00:51:54.000 This is really kind of funny.

00:51:56.000 She said, being stuck here in quarantine is like being in prison. 0.91

00:52:00.000 I haven't changed my clothes in days and everyone's gay. 1.00

00:52:04.000 That's funny. 0.95

00:52:07.000 And she got attacked.

00:52:09.000 Do you think this is prison?

00:52:10.000 My grandmother died.

00:52:11.000 We're living in a mansion. 1.00

00:52:12.000 That kind of shit. 1.00

00:52:14.000 But I think it's probably partly because that guy came out and said, hey, Ellen is mean. 1.00

00:52:19.000 Post your stories about Ellen being mean.

00:52:21.000 Do you see the stories?

00:52:22.000 They're bad stories.

00:52:23.000 Nothing too bad, man.

00:52:26.000 What was it?

00:52:27.000 It was like, oh, I came on her show, and before I left, she didn't say hi.

00:52:31.000 It's like, oh, okay.

00:52:32.000 Ellen takes down video after jail joke about coronavirus self-quarantine. 0.98

00:52:36.000 Oh, Ellen. 1.00

00:52:36.000 Wow, she's shook. 1.00

00:52:38.000 Oh.

00:52:39.000 She's shook right now.

00:52:40.000 Go to your roots.

00:52:41.000 You're a comic.

00:52:42.000 Stand by it, man. 1.00

00:52:43.000 Well, there's several other articles written about her being an asshole after that. 1.00

00:52:46.000 Oh, being mean? 1.00

00:52:46.000 Yeah, because people capitalize on that. 1.00

00:52:47.000 I've heard about it.

00:52:48.000 I've heard of it.

00:52:49.000 You know, in entertainment, it's all around.

00:52:52.000 Don't you also think that she's one of those tooth and claw, get to the top? 1.00

00:52:56.000 That's why she became Ellen in the first place.

00:52:59.000 And that makes a lot of enemies.

00:53:01.000 She's A-type. 1.00

00:53:02.000 She's an A-type personality.

00:53:03.000 It's her show.

00:53:03.000 It's her way or the highway, and it runs a lot of people wrong.

00:53:06.000 And also probably maligned most of her life because she was a lesbian, had to keep it in tight. 1.00

00:53:12.000 There's some darkness in there.

00:53:13.000 Yeah, there's some darkness in there, some anger in there, you know?

00:53:17.000 I don't know. 0.99

00:53:18.000 But the fucking joke's hilarious. 1.00

00:53:19.000 Hilarious joke. 1.00

00:53:20.000 That's a great joke.

00:53:21.000 Hilarious joke.

00:53:22.000 Great joke.

00:53:23.000 I like Ellen.

00:53:24.000 I'm wearing the same clothes and everyone's gay.

00:53:26.000 That's funny.

00:53:28.000 That's funny. 1.00

00:53:30.000 People are like, fuck you! 1.00

00:53:32.000 Fuck you, eat the rich! 1.00

00:53:34.000 God, eat the rich. 1.00

00:53:36.000 My favorite, hating on Justin Bieber, have you seen that fucking crib? 1.00

00:53:38.000 You know what that looks like inside, you fucking morons? 1.00

00:53:41.000 You know how dope that crib is? 1.00

00:53:42.000 Yeah, but the thing is, like, it's, saying it's the ugliest house ever, it's so crazy.

00:53:49.000 It's weird looking, yeah, but...

00:53:51.000 When you're Justin Bieber, look at that.

00:53:54.000 Bro, that looks like some sort of...

00:53:56.000 You know what that looks like?

00:53:57.000 It looks like a museum.

00:53:58.000 Like you would go there and there'd be like a dinosaur in there.

00:54:01.000 It looks like they opened in Jurassic Park.

00:54:03.000 Yeah, something about space.

00:54:05.000 That's a dope house. 1.00

00:54:06.000 I bet it's all glass. 1.00

00:54:07.000 You just walk around butt naked with his girl and shit. 1.00

00:54:10.000 It looks like a giant salad spinner. 1.00

00:54:11.000 Now you can lease it.

00:54:13.000 Well, no one's going to want to lease it now.

00:54:15.000 Social media users mock this Beverly Hills house.

00:54:18.000 But Tweeter's got a few things wrong.

00:54:20.000 First of all, let me see your house.

00:54:23.000 You're mocking this house.

00:54:25.000 Post your house, dude. 1.00

00:54:25.000 Post your house, bitch. 1.00

00:54:26.000 Post your shitty little apartment in Studio City that you're mocking this castle from. 1.00

00:54:30.000 This fucking Tony Stark castle. 1.00

00:54:33.000 60 grand a month. 1.00

00:54:34.000 Ooh, that's it? 1.00

00:54:37.000 Dude, that thing is fucking sick! 1.00

00:54:39.000 That house is sick! 1.00

00:54:40.000 That thing is so sick! 1.00

00:54:42.000 Look at the inside! 0.96

00:54:42.000 That's it! 0.96

00:54:43.000 That house is dope as fuck! 1.00

00:54:44.000 It makes me like him more. 1.00

00:54:45.000 Yeah.

00:54:46.000 You know, when I heard Justin Bieber songs, I thought it was sung by a girl.

00:54:49.000 At first, you didn't?

00:54:50.000 I had no idea.

00:54:51.000 I thought it was a girl song.

00:54:52.000 When someone's like, that's Justin Bieber, I'm like, what?

00:54:54.000 Like the Yummy song.

00:54:55.000 It's like, alright, dude.

00:54:56.000 Why are you laughing?

00:54:58.000 I didn't know.

00:54:59.000 I didn't know.

00:55:00.000 Bro, I listen to 98% classic rock, okay?

00:55:03.000 Yeah, that's...

00:55:04.000 I'm that old dude.

00:55:05.000 But your kids are listening to Justin Bieber.

00:55:08.000 I don't know if they do.

00:55:09.000 No?

00:55:10.000 Not around me, bro. 1.00

00:55:10.000 I shut that shit off. 1.00

00:55:11.000 I throw it in the tub. 1.00

00:55:12.000 Get the shit out of here. 1.00

00:55:13.000 Here's some Lynyrd Skynyrd. 1.00

00:55:14.000 What? 0.99

00:55:17.000 Yeah, if they work out at the gym, I make them listen to fucking Skynyrd and Zeppelin. 0.97

00:55:21.000 But I'm sure they have the stuff they like. 0.97

00:55:23.000 Yes!

00:55:24.000 Oh my god, it's terrible.

00:55:26.000 Yeah.

00:55:26.000 I don't even know what kids listen to.

00:55:28.000 My kids sing a lot of Lizzo.

00:55:29.000 Yeah.

00:55:31.000 I wonder if Lizzo's scared of Corona.

00:55:34.000 She should be.

00:55:35.000 That's what I'm saying, man.

00:55:36.000 She's not in shape.

00:55:38.000 She should be.

00:55:39.000 Well, a lot of people should be scared, you know?

00:55:41.000 My dad hasn't left his house, but he's also like 63, so I'm like, I get it, Papa.

00:55:45.000 Yeah, my parents got real spooked.

00:55:47.000 My parents got real spooked. 0.99

00:55:49.000 They don't do shit. 0.99

00:55:50.000 They're holding up. 0.99

00:55:51.000 I think that when the remedy comes out, Hopefully, when they figure out what it is, we're all going to relax.

00:55:59.000 But when Fauci was saying that we're not shaking hands anymore, ever.

00:56:03.000 No shaking hands again, ever. 1.00

00:56:05.000 You're a pussy. 1.00

00:56:05.000 Come on, bro. 1.00

00:56:06.000 I can't.

00:56:07.000 Come on, man.

00:56:08.000 Dude, come on.

00:56:09.000 That's why I kind of like that the UFC is doing their thing.

00:56:12.000 And also, it's like, the UFC, Dana White and Fertitta, they're cowboys, man.

00:56:18.000 They take risks.

00:56:20.000 They're cage-fighting promoters.

00:56:22.000 There's no safety in that.

00:56:24.000 Do you think that when Francis Ngannou fought Alistair Overeem and knocked him into another dimension, do you think there's any safety in that?

00:56:31.000 No.

00:56:31.000 Where's the safety?

00:56:32.000 But Alistair would rather have Corona than need that uppercut.

00:56:35.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:56:36.000 It's like...

00:56:37.000 A hundred percent!

00:56:38.000 Also, I mean, Tony's probably the oldest guy on the card at 36. Yeah.

00:56:42.000 Look at that.

00:56:43.000 If Tony, let's say worst-case scenario, all the fighters got Corona...

00:56:47.000 Look at the odds.

00:56:48.000 They're all going to be just fine.

00:56:49.000 Especially in the shape that they're in.

00:56:50.000 Odds are they're going to be fine.

00:56:52.000 If Tony Ferguson gets Corona, you'll see him the next day running hills.

00:56:55.000 Yes.

00:56:56.000 With a mask on, so he doesn't give it to other people.

00:56:58.000 Correct. 0.99

00:56:58.000 He doesn't give a fuck. 0.99

00:56:59.000 Now, as long as those fighters don't go back home and their grandparents are around, that's where it gets dicey. 1.00

00:57:03.000 But I'm assuming they're not fucking idiots. 1.00

00:57:06.000 Yeah, that's where it gets dicey. 1.00

00:57:07.000 I just wish there was a way to tell if you had it.

00:57:09.000 Because so many people are asymptomatic, you know, there's a lot of people that didn't feel any symptoms at all and they found out that they had it and like, whoa.

00:57:18.000 I wish there was a better way to know if you had it.

00:57:22.000 But even if there's not, again, you look at the odds, the chances are, and this is why Dana and the guys are going on with the fight, it's like, everyone should be fine.

00:57:29.000 Yes.

00:57:30.000 COVID-19 tests expected for fighters, coaches prior to UFC 249. So they're going to test them, and I think what they're doing at the event is they're going to temperature test everybody.

00:57:41.000 Temperature testing, again, to play devil's advocate, it's a little tough because, again, some people have and don't show symptoms for two days or show symptoms at all.

00:57:49.000 Expected to send test kits to fighters and teams ahead of the event, which is currently rumored to take place at Tachi Palace Casino in Lemoore, California.

00:57:58.000 A second round of testing is also expected to take place on site at 249.

00:58:02.000 Testing is one of the strongest measures the promotion can take to ensure that those who attend the event are negative for the coronavirus, which is an incubation period of up to 14 days.

00:58:10.000 It doesn't completely eliminate the possibility of spreading the virus.

00:58:13.000 According to the CDC, it's possible a person in the early stages of infection could test negative on the tests recognized by the Public Health Institute.

00:58:21.000 I got an update on Francis.

00:58:24.000 They're still finalizing the lineup, but they believe Francis will be co-main event.

00:58:28.000 It has to be.

00:58:29.000 Why would you not?

00:58:30.000 Why would you not?

00:58:32.000 But who do they have at the main event on ESPN? That's the fucking sweetener. 1.00

00:58:35.000 That's the little taste of meth that gets you to buy the pay-per-view. 1.00

00:58:38.000 I know.

00:58:39.000 Who would you?

00:58:41.000 Let me see the card again.

00:58:42.000 How about Stevens and Cater?

00:58:43.000 When is that?

00:58:44.000 Is it on the main card?

00:58:45.000 It's the main card.

00:58:45.000 It should be on the main card.

00:58:46.000 That's my fight.

00:58:47.000 Luke A and Nico Price is my fight.

00:58:49.000 That's a great fight, too. 0.99

00:58:50.000 The whole fucking card, dude. 0.99

00:58:52.000 Yeah, I just feel like... 1.00

00:58:53.000 I wish it was free, though.

00:58:55.000 Mmm.

00:58:55.000 No, they'd have to make that.

00:58:56.000 They've got to make that cheddar. 0.58

00:58:58.000 William, WME, you know, you've got to think.

00:59:02.000 All their touring acts.

00:59:03.000 Musicians, me.

00:59:05.000 Okay, I'm WME. Big deal for them.

00:59:07.000 All their touring acts.

00:59:09.000 Everything's been canceled.

00:59:10.000 Oh, 420's been moved to October.

00:59:12.000 420 in Vancouver is moved to October 24th.

00:59:16.000 October 24th.

00:59:17.000 That's moved to...

00:59:18.000 You're going to be getting high October 24th. 0.99

00:59:19.000 We're going to get high as fuck in Vancouver. 0.99

00:59:21.000 Hopefully. 0.99

00:59:22.000 Hopefully COVID-2 doesn't come out.

00:59:24.000 So that's the main card.

00:59:27.000 And go to the prelims and see who's going to be there.

00:59:31.000 If it's not...

00:59:31.000 Jacare Uriah Hall!

00:59:33.000 Oh, Jacare.

00:59:33.000 That's it.

00:59:34.000 Right there.

00:59:34.000 Just move that one up.

00:59:36.000 And then the bottom is Marlon Vera and Ray Borg.

00:59:39.000 Now go to Fight Pass prelims.

00:59:41.000 So what they'll do is they'll move up Michael Johnson and Kama Worthy.

00:59:45.000 They'll do that.

00:59:46.000 That's a great fight, too, by the way.

00:59:47.000 Yeah, those are great, too.

00:59:48.000 They'll move that to ESPN. Do you know what I heard?

00:59:50.000 I heard the fighters are going to be fine, but I heard the commentators are going to be in super danger of getting Corona.

00:59:54.000 So you shouldn't do it, and we should do a Fight Companion.

00:59:59.000 I selfishly don't want you to do it at all, so we can do a great fight campaign.

01:00:02.000 I selfishly don't want to do it too, but I also, I'm very curious about what it's like to see a fight in an arena with no one there.

01:00:07.000 Have you ever been to The Ultimate Fighter?

01:00:09.000 No.

01:00:09.000 I mean, granted, it was in the arena, but it just feels different.

01:00:14.000 Yeah, I'm sure.

01:00:15.000 You can literally hear the, like, oh, God.

01:00:18.000 I know.

01:00:19.000 It's going to sound really weird because I scream a lot, too.

01:00:22.000 I'm like, ow!

01:00:23.000 Everyone's going to hear it.

01:00:24.000 Yeah, it's going to be very strange.

01:00:25.000 They're going to hear what I think should be done.

01:00:28.000 That might help.

01:00:30.000 Yeah, for DC. If DC's going to be there with me, if someone's wrestling.

01:00:33.000 So you think you're going to do it?

01:00:34.000 I don't know.

01:00:35.000 I'm thinking a lot about it.

01:00:35.000 You still don't know?

01:00:36.000 Do it next Saturday.

01:00:37.000 I have to decide.

01:00:39.000 Well, listen, I said that I would do it if it was going to be in America.

01:00:41.000 I talked to Dana.

01:00:42.000 I said, look, man, you do it in America, I'm going to do it.

01:00:44.000 But it's not really in America.

01:00:46.000 It's on an Indian reservation, which means it's not sanctioned by any athletic commission.

01:00:49.000 So does it not count?

01:00:51.000 It counts.

01:00:52.000 What's that?

01:00:53.000 It'll be a sanctioned event?

01:00:55.000 How?

01:00:57.000 It says that all of their international events, they work together with the Nevada Commission to sanction them, and the ABC, which is the Association of Boxing Commission and Combative Sports, says this will be a sanctioned event.

01:01:08.000 Oh, wow.

01:01:08.000 They pulled out all the stops.

01:01:11.000 That's interesting.

01:01:14.000 So how do they skirt the California rules for combat sports, then?

01:01:19.000 Because they're technically not in the jurisdiction, right?

01:01:24.000 Right.

01:01:25.000 So they're using the...

01:01:27.000 Scroll back up again, please.

01:01:29.000 Scroll back to the beginning of the article.

01:01:30.000 Here's something to think about.

01:01:32.000 If any other...

01:01:33.000 Association of Boxing Commission in Combat of Sports.

01:01:36.000 So the ABC, which is the Association of Boxing and Combat of Sports, released a statement saying that it's taking place on tribal land.

01:01:44.000 Dude, how great is tribal land?

01:01:46.000 They can do anything.

01:01:47.000 They can do whatever they want.

01:01:48.000 It's fantastic.

01:01:49.000 Just during these times.

01:01:50.000 They had a rough reason for why.

01:01:54.000 The roughest.

01:01:54.000 I mean, they used to own the whole country.

01:01:56.000 They did.

01:01:56.000 When the UFC does international events, they regulate themselves using Nevada State Athletic Commission inspectors, and this event on sovereign land is no different.

01:02:05.000 Fantastic.

01:02:06.000 Sovereign land.

01:02:06.000 We have little countries inside our country.

01:02:08.000 It's fantastic.

01:02:11.000 Here's what's interesting. 0.93

01:02:15.000 If Bellator, World PFL, if they were like, fuck California Commission, we're going to do it on Native American land in California, they would never be allowed to work here again. 0.99

01:02:25.000 That Athletic Commission would be like, dude, you fucked so much, we're not doing it. 0.99

01:02:28.000 But the UFC is such a juggernaut, I don't think California is going to flex on them. 0.98

01:02:33.000 And the UFC has a close relationship with California.

01:02:36.000 Well, California Athletic Commission is run by Andy Foster.

01:02:38.000 I'm a big fan of that dude.

01:02:39.000 I like Andy.

01:02:39.000 He's the best.

01:02:40.000 With the whole Jon Jones stuff, remember all that?

01:02:42.000 So he has a pretty tight relationship with the UFC and Dana White, so I don't think it's going to be an issue for them.

01:02:48.000 Well, I don't think so either.

01:02:50.000 It's being sanctioned.

01:02:52.000 Not by the California Athletic Commission, though.

01:02:54.000 Yeah, but...

01:02:54.000 ABC Commission.

01:02:57.000 Good enough.

01:02:58.000 Here's what else is kind of interesting about this, is it's great Dana's put it on, he made it happen.

01:03:06.000 But you realize that one of the reasons they're making it happen is there's a little bit of desperation because they have to put on 40-something fights.

01:03:13.000 How many did I say, Jamie?

01:03:15.000 I read this article.

01:03:16.000 42 for the year.

01:03:17.000 They have to put on 42 fights to get their $750 million from ESPN. They have to do that.

01:03:23.000 How many weeks are left in the year?

01:03:24.000 38. We get a ton of fights, son.

01:03:27.000 Wait a minute.

01:03:28.000 They gotta put on...

01:03:30.000 So, how many have they done?

01:03:31.000 They've done seven?

01:03:32.000 Seven.

01:03:32.000 35 to go.

01:03:34.000 38 weeks left.

01:03:35.000 So they're gonna have a fight every week.

01:03:37.000 Back to back to back. 0.99

01:03:38.000 And then they're gonna go to Fuck Island, right? 0.99

01:03:40.000 Isn't it great? 0.99

01:03:41.000 I heard they read to Jeffrey Epstein's island.

01:03:43.000 Is that true, Jamie?

01:03:45.000 That's the rumors online.

01:03:46.000 I don't know.

01:03:46.000 That's so awesome.

01:03:47.000 Can you imagine if he did?

01:03:48.000 Yeah, I can.

01:03:50.000 We would treat events held on Mystery Islands the same way as well.

01:03:53.000 Mystery Islands. 1.00

01:03:54.000 We are in a goddamn movie! 1.00

01:03:58.000 So the UFC, you can sense it, and you know this. 1.00

01:04:01.000 I'm not telling you anything you don't know.

01:04:02.000 There's a little bit of desperation where they have to put on the fights to get that 750 million bucks. 1.00

01:04:07.000 ESPN goes, fuck you, pay me. 0.99

01:04:09.000 Desperation is a word that you could use. 1.00

01:04:11.000 Another word is innovation.

01:04:12.000 They had to innovate.

01:04:13.000 They had to figure out how to keep having fights.

01:04:16.000 It's desperate because they need to do something.

01:04:20.000 WME needs the money.

01:04:21.000 Everybody needs the money. 0.86

01:04:22.000 I mean, the UFC is one of the rare people that WME owns that's not fucked right now in terms of, like, firing employees.

01:04:29.000 And there was an article written that the UFC fired a bunch of employees.

01:04:32.000 That's not true.

01:04:33.000 William Morris let go some of the agents' employees, but UFC didn't.

01:04:37.000 I'd say that's more credit to Dana than WME. Yeah.

01:04:41.000 Yeah.

01:04:43.000 I think it's both innovation and desperation.

01:04:45.000 Like, dude, we have to get this money.

01:04:47.000 We have to get this money.

01:04:48.000 We're going to figure out how to make these fights happen.

01:04:50.000 Well, they canceled three cards, right?

01:04:53.000 Postponed.

01:04:54.000 Three cards. 1.00

01:04:55.000 They just jammed those motherfuckers on Fuck Island. 1.00

01:04:58.000 Dude, Fuck Island? 1.00

01:04:59.000 The Fry Island? 1.00

01:05:01.000 No one knows where the island is, though, right?

01:05:03.000 Nope.

01:05:03.000 Dana won't tell anyone.

01:05:05.000 It's in international waters, right?

01:05:07.000 That's the idea?

01:05:08.000 Yeah, and then all the international fighters are going to fight there.

01:05:11.000 That's so strange.

01:05:12.000 Tom Cruise is fighting.

01:05:13.000 Henry Cejudo, the real king has already told you that we're fighting May 9th.

01:05:16.000 See you there.

01:05:17.000 P.S. Bring your other tiny little friend. 1.00

01:05:21.000 Oh, God. 0.99

01:05:22.000 So I can slap you both around. 0.74

01:05:24.000 They said that a lot of Brazilian fighters couldn't get visas for UFC 250. Oh, is that why Aldo's not fighting?

01:05:31.000 Couldn't get visas to leave Brazil?

01:05:34.000 Because Brazil doesn't want people leaving.

01:05:36.000 Is that the idea?

01:05:37.000 Hey, but also, to be fair, Dominic Cruz versus Henry Sudo is a better fight.

01:05:42.000 It's a very good fight.

01:05:43.000 I don't know about that.

01:05:45.000 Aldo's coming off a loss. 1.00

01:05:46.000 Bullshit. 1.00

01:05:47.000 It's a loss. 1.00

01:05:48.000 Really?

01:05:48.000 I thought he won that fight.

01:05:52.000 I don't feel that a loss.

01:05:54.000 Well, what's the record show, though?

01:05:55.000 It does show it on the record, but I thought that was a bad decision.

01:05:58.000 Horrible decision, but it's tough to give him that nod.

01:06:01.000 Not if you're the UFC. You go, fuck those judges. 1.00

01:06:04.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

01:06:04.000 No, I get it. 1.00

01:06:05.000 It's the Wild West, man. 1.00

01:06:06.000 We're fighting on Fuck Island. 0.99

01:06:08.000 Guy that lost a fight's getting a title shot. 0.98

01:06:10.000 We got an interim belt. 0.98

01:06:12.000 It's like, what the fuck is happening? 0.94

01:06:13.000 Interim belts are hilarious, but in this case... 0.96

01:06:15.000 Tony's been a two-time interim belt champion.

01:06:17.000 They better not take it from him this time.

01:06:18.000 They stole it from him before.

01:06:19.000 Yeah, they did.

01:06:20.000 I mean, he's on the longest winning streak in UFC history, I think.

01:06:23.000 You know what's going to happen?

01:06:24.000 Isn't he?

01:06:25.000 Yeah.

01:06:25.000 Is that true?

01:06:26.000 Yeah, period.

01:06:28.000 Longest in lightweight, right?

01:06:29.000 Yeah.

01:06:29.000 I think period, though, right?

01:06:31.000 I think period.

01:06:31.000 You think about his record.

01:06:32.000 Yeah, and in terms of, like, years.

01:06:34.000 I mean, he hasn't lost since he got his arm broken in the Michael Johnson fight.

01:06:38.000 Here's something else you gotta think about.

01:06:39.000 Tony first and Justin Gaethje are gonna be complete violence.

01:06:43.000 Tony's probably not gonna fight for a little while.

01:06:45.000 Khabib has Ramadan in August.

01:06:47.000 So I'm assuming we're going to be back to normal.

01:06:49.000 Khabib's going to want to fight before then.

01:06:51.000 Tony's not going to be ready unless he smokes Justin Gaethje.

01:06:54.000 No one smokes Justin Gaethje.

01:06:55.000 So you're going to get Conor Khabib 2 in between that.

01:07:00.000 In July.

01:07:00.000 Yes.

01:07:02.000 Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo.

01:07:03.000 Wait a minute, but we're in March.

01:07:07.000 Yeah.

01:07:08.000 April.

01:07:09.000 But hold on a second.

01:07:10.000 I'm thinking...

01:07:10.000 May, June, July.

01:07:12.000 August is Ramadan.

01:07:13.000 Tony could still fight in July.

01:07:14.000 Yeah.

01:07:19.000 Conor's chomping at the bit to go.

01:07:20.000 Is he?

01:07:21.000 Yeah.

01:07:22.000 Yeah, but Khabib doesn't want to fight Conor. 1.00

01:07:27.000 The thing is, all that shit that he went through with Conor talking shit, Conor's already talking shit. 1.00

01:07:33.000 He's already talking shit again. 1.00

01:07:35.000 It's not like he's going to stop talking shit. 1.00

01:07:37.000 He's going to wrap it back up again. 0.99

01:07:38.000 So Khabib has to endure all that stuff again until he can get a hold of him one more time.

01:07:43.000 That's what I think they're going to do.

01:07:44.000 I have no...

01:07:46.000 Don't you think Conor has to beat one more person other than Cowboy?

01:07:50.000 You would think, but again, it's Conor McGregor.

01:07:55.000 He's the biggest...

01:07:56.000 Most famous fighter of all time.

01:07:58.000 Would you not watch Khabib Conor 2?

01:08:00.000 Oh, I'd watch it.

01:08:01.000 For sure. 1.00

01:08:02.000 Especially if it takes place on Fuck Island. 1.00

01:08:05.000 Dun, dun, dun. 0.99

01:08:06.000 Conor supposedly deleted this.

01:08:08.000 Oh, yeah.

01:08:08.000 I saw that.

01:08:09.000 Anderson's front kick.

01:08:10.000 Ronda's arm, bro.

01:08:10.000 Hendel's H-bomb.

01:08:11.000 Crow Cop's high kick.

01:08:12.000 John's side kick.

01:08:13.000 The knees over and over again.

01:08:14.000 It's actually the only thing at this stage.

01:08:15.000 Khabib's little mermaid leg wrap thing that he does.

01:08:18.000 Why did he delete that?

01:08:19.000 I don't know.

01:08:20.000 He said way worse.

01:08:22.000 Oh, who knows?

01:08:24.000 He's Conor.

01:08:26.000 Yeah, but I think you need a little bit of a layoff.

01:08:29.000 Oh, yeah.

01:08:30.000 So then, you know, because you're doing this fight, which, praise the fight gods, we're getting.

01:08:35.000 But Ramadan's in August, so Khabib has to fight in between there. 0.98

01:08:39.000 Maybe.

01:08:39.000 Or he just...

01:08:40.000 Rides it out?

01:08:41.000 Rides it out.

01:08:42.000 Fights in the December 31st card.

01:08:44.000 God, what?

01:08:46.000 Fights when he knows that there's going to be fights.

01:08:49.000 They'll do it in Vegas.

01:08:50.000 They'll do it at T-Mobile.

01:08:52.000 Big deal.

01:08:53.000 Boom, boom, boom.

01:08:54.000 Fireworks.

01:08:54.000 He doesn't fight for money.

01:08:55.000 He doesn't give a shit. 0.99

01:08:56.000 He's probably got so much money right now. 1.00

01:08:59.000 And he's in Russia and they, like, worship him.

01:09:01.000 He drives a Toyota.

01:09:02.000 That's a bummer.

01:09:03.000 You know that?

01:09:03.000 Which Toyota?

01:09:05.000 The island of Emerald Isle of...

01:09:07.000 The island is Emerald Isle of Ireland.

01:09:08.000 That's not true. 0.99

01:09:10.000 Silly. 0.99

01:09:11.000 Silly Connor. 1.00

01:09:12.000 He drives a fucking, like, a Toyota Tundra. 1.00

01:09:14.000 Those are cool. 0.99

01:09:15.000 They're fine, but, I mean, that's him.

01:09:17.000 Yeah, I know.

01:09:17.000 The guy's a multi-multi-millionaire and doesn't floss at all.

01:09:19.000 Ten times over, at least. 1.00

01:09:21.000 You look at him, he wears, like, sweatsuits and shit. 0.99

01:09:23.000 Doesn't have a fancy watch, doesn't have fancy shoes. 0.99

01:09:25.000 No sunglasses, nothing.

01:09:26.000 Nothing.

01:09:27.000 What do we do with this money? 0.99

01:09:29.000 Buys grizzly beers and shit. 0.99

01:09:32.000 He's the total polar opposite of Conor in that regard. 0.99

01:09:35.000 That's why it's fantastic.

01:09:36.000 Yeah, Conor's wearing half a million dollar watches while he's hitting the speed dial.

01:09:39.000 I love it. 1.00

01:09:39.000 Did you see that shit? 1.00

01:09:40.000 Yeah, I love it. 1.00

01:09:40.000 He's hitting a cobra bag with a fucking half a million dollar watch on it. 1.00

01:09:43.000 It's great. 1.00

01:09:44.000 You need that.

01:09:45.000 I don't know how much that watch cost, but it looked expensive.

01:09:47.000 Because you got Tony, who's labeled as the crazy guy, right?

01:09:51.000 You got Tony, who's...

01:09:52.000 Labeled?

01:09:52.000 Well, he's a different bird.

01:09:55.000 Let's just put it that way.

01:09:56.000 Did you see when Tony had sunglasses on?

01:09:57.000 He's staring down with Khabib, and he's telling Khabib to take your glasses off.

01:10:01.000 Yes.

01:10:01.000 He's like, take your sunglasses off.

01:10:03.000 Take your sunglasses off.

01:10:04.000 And KBee's like, what?

01:10:07.000 That's what KBee's like.

01:10:08.000 This guy is out there, man. 1.00

01:10:10.000 He's like, what the fuck? 1.00

01:10:11.000 He's a brilliant madman. 1.00

01:10:13.000 He's like, what the fuck is going on here? 1.00

01:10:15.000 I gotta deal with this guy? 1.00

01:10:17.000 I gotta deal with Connor throwing money in my face all the fucking time? 0.99

01:10:19.000 He's wearing weightlifting gloves and he's got his sleeves rolled up. 0.99

01:10:22.000 It's so strange. 0.99

01:10:26.000 I'll tell you, if Jesse were able to pull this off, Justin Gaethje, Khabib is a fucking fight, man. 0.99

01:10:31.000 Oh my god. 0.99

01:10:31.000 Because Jesse can wrestle! 0.99

01:10:32.000 Yes.

01:10:33.000 Yeah.

01:10:34.000 Phenomenal.

01:10:35.000 Phenomenal fight.

01:10:36.000 He can wrestle and he's super dangerous standing up and it's really hard to take him down.

01:10:40.000 If he doesn't want to get taken down, it's a real hard go.

01:10:44.000 And he throws everything into those punches.

01:10:47.000 And he's wild but calculated.

01:10:51.000 You know?

01:10:52.000 Gaethje?

01:10:52.000 Yeah.

01:10:53.000 Yeah, he came on Food Truck Diary and we actually got into it.

01:10:56.000 And I love when guys address stuff because, you know, I've known Gaethje for a long, long time. 0.98

01:11:01.000 And I always said he's pretty, he just goes caution to the wind and goes fucking, he just brawls. 0.96

01:11:06.000 He's like, dude, you keep saying that, man. 0.99

01:11:08.000 People keep telling me that.

01:11:09.000 He's like, it's calculated.

01:11:11.000 You gotta go back and watch the tape.

01:11:13.000 Like, he got mad.

01:11:14.000 That's interesting.

01:11:14.000 Yeah, he goes, I know exactly what I'm doing.

01:11:16.000 I'm like, alright, dawg.

01:11:17.000 I'm telling you.

01:11:18.000 Well, he does know what he's doing, but it is very risky.

01:11:21.000 It's both.

01:11:22.000 I think he's calculated in that he's realizing there's a high risk, high reward thing.

01:11:28.000 So he calculates that that's worth it.

01:11:30.000 Whereas a lot of people calculate, no, I'm not doing that.

01:11:33.000 I'm not fighting that way.

01:11:35.000 His style of fighting, you know, that's not a long career he's looking at.

01:11:40.000 No, no.

01:11:41.000 And that's one of the reasons I think you took this fight.

01:11:44.000 Like Chuck Liddell.

01:11:45.000 Perfect example.

01:11:46.000 Real similar style in a lot of ways.

01:11:48.000 Sprawling, bro. 0.98

01:11:49.000 Just fucking throw caution to the wind and let the hammers fly. 0.99

01:11:53.000 I mean, that style doesn't get you. 0.99

01:11:56.000 I mean, we all see how Chuck went at the end.

01:12:00.000 At the end, he couldn't take a shot anymore.

01:12:01.000 You can't do it this day and age in the UFC. You guys are too good.

01:12:04.000 You guys are way too good.

01:12:06.000 Stylebender wouldn't have beat Yoel Romero if he threw caution to the wind. 0.99

01:12:09.000 You gotta knock the fuck out. 0.99

01:12:10.000 Right, right. 0.99

01:12:11.000 Guys are too talented.

01:12:13.000 Guys are too talented these days.

01:12:14.000 Yeah, I think so too.

01:12:15.000 But the way Justin does it is not totally caution to the wind.

01:12:21.000 He just takes risks, a lot of risks.

01:12:23.000 But with it, you get the rewards like the Edson Barbosa knockout.

01:12:27.000 He got in Barbosa's face. 0.90

01:12:28.000 He broke Barbosa. 0.62

01:12:30.000 Smashed him.

01:12:31.000 James Vick, too.

01:12:32.000 Smash.

01:12:33.000 The way he does it to guys, too.

01:12:35.000 But then think about the highest level guys that he's fought.

01:12:37.000 You look at Dustin Poirier.

01:12:39.000 You look at his fight with Eddie Alvarez.

01:12:41.000 He lost.

01:12:42.000 What is his full record?

01:12:43.000 Who are his big victories?

01:12:45.000 His best wins, Donald Cerrone and Edson Barbosa.

01:12:48.000 Hmm.

01:12:48.000 And then the time he fought, who I think is a top three, top four guy, Dustin Poirier, he lost.

01:12:54.000 Eddie Alvarez at the time, monster, he lost.

01:12:58.000 And then the World Series of Fighting stuff, it's just not the UFC. Yeah, it's hard to take those.

01:13:03.000 But I feel like, yeah, those two fights in a row that he lost.

01:13:05.000 But I feel like when you look at his style in the Vic and Barboza fights and the Cerrone fight, I think he's gotten better.

01:13:14.000 I don't think you're beating those top boys.

01:13:16.000 You ain't beating Khabib fighting like that, I don't think. 0.96

01:13:18.000 Oh, who knows, man?

01:13:20.000 I mean, we don't know.

01:13:21.000 I don't know, but I would say the odds are in my favor when I say that.

01:13:26.000 Interesting.

01:13:27.000 Now, can Justin Gaethje beat anybody in the world?

01:13:30.000 Yes.

01:13:30.000 But the odds are, with that fighting style going against Khabib, or Tony for that matter, it's tough, man.

01:13:36.000 Right, but you've got to give him an advantage striking versus Khabib. 0.98

01:13:39.000 Oh, he hits harder than all of them.

01:13:40.000 Right.

01:13:41.000 100%.

01:13:41.000 But then Khabib wants to take him down, right?

01:13:44.000 Do you think Khabib's going to be able to take him down easily? 0.56

01:13:46.000 Easily, you think?

01:13:47.000 No.

01:13:48.000 Yeah, you know, talking to some guys, I know Khabib would go against, you know, like Penn State, like Ed Ruth, who's whatever, four-time All-American, I think three-time national champion. 0.98

01:13:57.000 He has like a fucking statue at Penn State.

01:13:59.000 I know he wrestled with him, and it does not go well. 0.99

01:14:02.000 For him?

01:14:02.000 For Ed Ruth.

01:14:04.000 Really?

01:14:05.000 Really? 0.99

01:14:05.000 I know guys come in and get fucking mauled up by Khabib. 0.99

01:14:08.000 World-class wrestlers. 0.99

01:14:09.000 Way heavier than him. 0.99

01:14:11.000 Fucks him up. 0.99

01:14:12.000 Really? 0.98

01:14:13.000 Guys we know.

01:14:14.000 That good?

01:14:14.000 That good.

01:14:15.000 God damn. 1.00

01:14:17.000 Talk to DC about it. 1.00

01:14:18.000 Oh, yeah, I have.

01:14:19.000 I have, but I want to hear it from you.

01:14:20.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:14:23.000 He's such a monster, man. 0.98

01:14:24.000 Yeah. 0.63

01:14:24.000 When you hear someone like Josh Thompson and you hear these guys tell the stories about Khabib, you're like, I don't know if he'll ever lose. 0.63

01:14:32.000 He's that good?

01:14:33.000 And they go, dude, we've never seen him lose a round in practice.

01:14:35.000 Well, he lost one round ever in a fight, and that was round three against Conor where it looked like he was kind of taking the round off.

01:14:40.000 Yeah.

01:14:41.000 You know, but I mean, that's what guys do when they want a final push to finish a guy, and then you wind up finishing him the next round.

01:14:49.000 I think that rematch is, again, can Conor beat him?

01:14:53.000 I don't know, but I think if Conor's focus has a full camp, I think that fight does go a little different.

01:14:57.000 I do give Conor a better chance.

01:15:00.000 Interesting.

01:15:02.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:15:03.000 I mean, you never know.

01:15:04.000 Who knows?

01:15:04.000 It's fun.

01:15:05.000 It's the funnest.

01:15:06.000 Yeah, it is fun.

01:15:07.000 It's the best.

01:15:08.000 There's no basketball.

01:15:09.000 Basketball can't perform right now. 0.93

01:15:10.000 Well, the thing about the difference between basketball and everything else and MMA is in MMA, there's two guys that are fighting.

01:15:17.000 And then there's one referee.

01:15:19.000 Those are the ones in contact with each other. 0.98

01:15:20.000 With basketball, everyone's fucking on top of everybody. 0.68

01:15:23.000 Fighting five, you've got the bench, the coaches. 0.99

01:15:26.000 Pressing up, shooting in each other's faces.

01:15:28.000 Football, same thing.

01:15:29.000 Colliding on top of each other.

01:15:31.000 They're not going to miss a beat.

01:15:32.000 You don't think so?

01:15:33.000 Nope.

01:15:34.000 Well, didn't Gavin, our governor, say something about football not coming back?

01:15:39.000 He doesn't count.

01:15:40.000 Really?

01:15:41.000 He doesn't count.

01:15:42.000 When you talk to Trump and you hear some of these other people talk, Trump told the NFL, the commissioners, I'm planning for the NFL season to not skip a beat.

01:15:50.000 Dude, you want to see people piss in America? 1.00

01:15:52.000 Fuck with football. 1.00

01:15:53.000 Fuck with LSU football or Georgia football, college football. 1.00

01:15:56.000 See what happens. 1.00

01:15:57.000 You think things are bad now? 1.00

01:15:58.000 Fuck with the college football. 1.00

01:16:00.000 You know, this is a weird time, too, because it's right before the election. 1.00

01:16:03.000 You know, election comes in November. 0.97

01:16:05.000 Like, imagine if this shit was going on right now and the election's, like, next week. 0.99

01:16:09.000 God. 0.99

01:16:10.000 Can you imagine?

01:16:11.000 Chaos.

01:16:12.000 Your boy Bernie dropped out.

01:16:13.000 Yep.

01:16:14.000 That's a wrap.

01:16:16.000 Biden ain't beating Trump.

01:16:18.000 Nope.

01:16:18.000 That's your best?

01:16:19.000 That's the guy?

01:16:20.000 It shows you how crazy the system is.

01:16:23.000 That they wanted him.

01:16:24.000 That they wanted Biden to be their guy.

01:16:27.000 That they can't admit that he's in cognitive decline.

01:16:32.000 It's very strange. 1.00

01:16:33.000 Listen, I fuck up all the time. 0.99

01:16:34.000 I speak for a living. 1.00

01:16:35.000 I fuck up all the time. 1.00

01:16:36.000 But Biden? 1.00

01:16:38.000 He fucks up, man. 1.00

01:16:40.000 You're a politician. 1.00

01:16:40.000 I fuck up all the time, too. 1.00

01:16:42.000 But we're also talking live for hours and hours and hours at a time. 0.99

01:16:45.000 If I had a prepared thing that I was doing... 0.95

01:16:48.000 Like my stand-up, I don't fuck up in. 0.99

01:16:50.000 You would be sharp as fuck if you were having one of those conversations. 0.99

01:16:53.000 They're asking you... 0.99

01:16:54.000 Look, if someone wants to ask me questions about things that I understand, like MMA or like comedy, like if you want to ask me questions about things that I think about and talk about all the time...

01:17:04.000 You have your black belt in both of us.

01:17:05.000 Yeah, I can talk to you and really clearly about those things and make a lot of sense.

01:17:10.000 He can't do that about politics, and he's been a politician forever. 1.00

01:17:13.000 And that's your shit. 1.00

01:17:14.000 He's an... 1.00

01:17:15.000 You know, he's a guy who's suffering.

01:17:17.000 He's in decline.

01:17:18.000 And they're going to try to whale him out.

01:17:20.000 And whoever his VP is, whether it's Kamala Harris or whoever it is.

01:17:24.000 Michelle Obama?

01:17:24.000 Maybe.

01:17:25.000 Whoever it is.

01:17:26.000 But that's who you're voting for.

01:17:27.000 I mean, it's sort of like when Dick Cheney was basically running the country while George Bush was the president.

01:17:35.000 I don't know.

01:17:36.000 We'll see.

01:17:36.000 There's no way he beats Trump.

01:17:37.000 He doesn't beat Trump.

01:17:38.000 Not a chance.

01:17:39.000 No, not a chance.

01:17:40.000 Especially because of the timing of this. 0.99

01:17:42.000 Right now, we're in the shit, right? 1.00

01:17:45.000 We're in the April shit. 1.00

01:17:46.000 It's the worst time of the corona. 0.99

01:17:47.000 A lot of people are dying.

01:17:49.000 There's a slight drop-off in New York.

01:17:51.000 People dying less today than yesterday.

01:17:53.000 Slight drop-off yesterday from the day before.

01:17:56.000 So things are looking pretty good.

01:17:58.000 In May, it's gonna be.

01:17:59.000 Yeah, California is looking very good, right?

01:18:01.000 Yeah, we're crushing it, huh?

01:18:02.000 California is looking very good.

01:18:04.000 So, and then...

01:18:05.000 Where's that?

01:18:05.000 Oh, here it is.

01:18:06.000 And so then you go June, July, August.

01:18:11.000 Hopefully everything's up and running again.

01:18:13.000 Economy starts coming back on track.

01:18:15.000 Trump makes a couple of great speeches.

01:18:18.000 Biden is more in decline.

01:18:20.000 It's not going to get better.

01:18:22.000 No, those two face off.

01:18:24.000 Trump's going to light him up like a Comedy Central roast.

01:18:26.000 He's already dismissing him.

01:18:27.000 Yeah.

01:18:28.000 Sleepy Biden.

01:18:29.000 But he's saying, like, someone said, Biden said this.

01:18:31.000 First of all, he didn't write that.

01:18:33.000 It was a Democratic operative.

01:18:35.000 He probably doesn't even know what it says. 0.56

01:18:36.000 He's going to destroy him, man. 1.00

01:18:38.000 He's going to kill him, man. 1.00

01:18:39.000 I mean, it's such an easy target. 0.99

01:18:40.000 It's like Mike Tyson versus a three-year-old.

01:18:42.000 It's true.

01:18:43.000 It really is.

01:18:44.000 It's a terrible fight.

01:18:46.000 I thought Bernie had a legit chance.

01:18:48.000 Bernie had a legit chance.

01:18:49.000 He had a legit chance because there's a lot of people that are in the middle, a lot of people that are casually acquainted with politics, that would listen to his message of doing good for the working class people, doing good for the poor people.

01:19:04.000 I think you helped out with that.

01:19:05.000 I think you made him human.

01:19:07.000 When he was on here, I was like, oh, I like that guy.

01:19:09.000 Would you have Biden on?

01:19:11.000 Really?

01:19:12.000 No.

01:19:12.000 Oh, man.

01:19:13.000 What if he was like this awesome dude?

01:19:15.000 Well, I'm sure he's a great guy.

01:19:15.000 He's just really nervous on stage and he comes in and just drops knowledge.

01:19:19.000 No, he never was like that.

01:19:20.000 That's the thing.

01:19:20.000 If you go back and listen to him from when he was younger, he was whip smart.

01:19:24.000 Very smart guy.

01:19:25.000 I'm sure.

01:19:25.000 Very clear.

01:19:26.000 I'm sure all those.

01:19:27.000 Very clear talker.

01:19:28.000 This is a sign of decline.

01:19:30.000 It is what it is. 1.00

01:19:32.000 I'm done with all that shit. 1.00

01:19:34.000 That Bernie Sanders thing was such a bummer. 1.00

01:19:36.000 Why?

01:19:36.000 Because they turned all the stuff that I did in stand-up and things that I've said drunk and stoned on a podcast and put it in quotes as if I'm a homophobe or a transphobe or a racist.

01:19:48.000 They just lied to make it look like Bernie was supporting some right-wing person.

01:19:54.000 Meanwhile, I'm left-wing.

01:19:55.000 I've never been right-wing in my life.

01:19:57.000 But also, those people don't matter.

01:19:58.000 But it didn't matter as much as it made me feel like this is a dirty business.

01:20:03.000 Like, I don't want to be a part of your dirty business. 0.53

01:20:05.000 It's the dirtiest business.

01:20:07.000 They're trying to change people's opinions with deception.

01:20:12.000 It's not like they're trying to tell you how good their guy is.

01:20:16.000 They're using deception. 0.99

01:20:18.000 They're using fuckery. 0.99

01:20:19.000 It's sleazy. 0.99

01:20:20.000 It's sleazy.

01:20:20.000 It's a sleazy business.

01:20:22.000 It's not a meritocracy.

01:20:23.000 After Bernie came on, did other politicians reach out?

01:20:26.000 Oh, yeah.

01:20:27.000 Oh, yeah.

01:20:28.000 I'm sure.

01:20:28.000 A lot.

01:20:29.000 Yeah, and they denied it, too.

01:20:30.000 I got emails. 1.00

01:20:33.000 I'll release the emails, bitch. 1.00

01:20:34.000 Who wants them? 1.00

01:20:35.000 No, a lot of them.

01:20:37.000 A lot of them reached out.

01:20:38.000 Well, they reached out to the publicist, but I'm not interested in...

01:20:42.000 Look, I'm only interested in interviewing people that I thought were interesting, that I was interested in, like Andrew Yang.

01:20:47.000 Interested in that guy.

01:20:48.000 I like him, too.

01:20:48.000 I like him.

01:20:49.000 Smart guy.

01:20:49.000 I love Tulsi Gabbard.

01:20:51.000 I like her too.

01:20:52.000 She's so dangerous to those people that they wouldn't want... 1.00

01:20:57.000 They were changing the rules to keep her from debating. 1.00

01:20:59.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:21:00.000 After she sank Kamala Harris, they're like, this lady's too dangerous. 1.00

01:21:03.000 Kamala Harris is pretty hot. 1.00

01:21:05.000 You like her?

01:21:05.000 Not bad.

01:21:07.000 What's going on in your house?

01:21:08.000 I don't know, dude.

01:21:09.000 This quarantine's making me weird.

01:21:12.000 What's going on in your house? 1.00

01:21:15.000 People get crazy in this fucking lockdown, man. 1.00

01:21:19.000 I don't know, man. 1.00

01:21:20.000 I'm using it as like an exercise camp.

01:21:22.000 I've been working out a lot.

01:21:23.000 I work out two, three times a day.

01:21:25.000 Really?

01:21:26.000 That's great.

01:21:27.000 I ride my bike.

01:21:28.000 I go, you know, eight, ten miles on that mountain bike.

01:21:30.000 Dude, we went at Onnit.

01:21:32.000 We ran out of kettlebells so quick.

01:21:34.000 Everybody ran out of kettlebells.

01:21:36.000 For at-home workouts, right?

01:21:37.000 Yeah, man.

01:21:37.000 Everybody wants a kettlebell.

01:21:38.000 Because you can get an amazing workout in with one kettlebell.

01:21:42.000 You sit it in the corner of your house, you know?

01:21:44.000 Great workout. 1.00

01:21:45.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:21:46.000 Dude, I remember when I got that... 1.00

01:21:47.000 I'm not hating on Peloton. 0.99

01:21:48.000 When I got Peloton, you're like, dude, that thing's for bitches. 1.00

01:21:51.000 I was like, no. 0.99

01:21:52.000 I'm on there every day.

01:21:53.000 Every day.

01:21:54.000 Sometimes two, three times a day. 1.00

01:21:55.000 I'm like, dude, I'm thick as fuck. 0.99

01:21:57.000 And I got a real bike? 0.99

01:21:58.000 Oh, it's not.

01:21:59.000 It's nowhere near the same.

01:22:00.000 It's a lot harder when you're running up.

01:22:02.000 So much harder. 0.99

01:22:03.000 Especially going up hills and shit. 1.00

01:22:04.000 Oh, my God. 0.99

01:22:05.000 You're doing trails?

01:22:06.000 Trails.

01:22:06.000 Yeah, trail biking is hard.

01:22:07.000 Right behind my house on, like, legit trails.

01:22:09.000 The thing that bugs me, though, is you look like you're running away to a mountain lion.

01:22:13.000 Mountain lions have gone after bikers before. 0.99

01:22:15.000 I thought of you two days ago.

01:22:17.000 I was on the trails at 7 a.m.

01:22:19.000 I was the first one there, so you can just see the fresh mud.

01:22:22.000 I see these huge paw prints.

01:22:24.000 And I was like, I remember you going, dude, you don't have a knife or anything?

01:22:27.000 And I have this fanny pack that I ride with to keep all my stuff.

01:22:31.000 And I'm like, and I look down, I'm like, I have nothing.

01:22:33.000 I have a knife from this company called Half Face Blades.

01:22:40.000 What is it like when you take a bunch of letters like ABC? What is it called when you just say ABC? You know, the American Boxing Commission?

01:22:48.000 Abbreviation.

01:22:49.000 Just an abbreviation?

01:22:52.000 It's S-H-P-O-S. That's the name of the knife. 1.00

01:22:57.000 It's a subhuman piece of shit. 1.00

01:22:59.000 Oh, damn. 1.00

01:22:59.000 So it's a knife that's made. 1.00

01:23:03.000 It's like a spike.

01:23:06.000 It's shaped like if you really wanted, if you were in combat, it's got a loop for your thumb.

01:23:11.000 So if you really wanted, if you're being attacked by a cat, I've thought this out.

01:23:15.000 Do you have another one?

01:23:17.000 Yeah, I have another one.

01:23:18.000 I have four of them.

01:23:18.000 I'll give you one of them.

01:23:19.000 You want one?

01:23:20.000 I have nothing.

01:23:20.000 Do you have it here?

01:23:21.000 No, I don't have it here, but I'll get you one.

01:23:22.000 Yeah, please do.

01:23:23.000 I was so scared.

01:23:25.000 It's a Navy SEAL run company, too.

01:23:28.000 Oh, hell yeah.

01:23:30.000 It's perfect.

01:23:31.000 I have a neoprene fanny pack that I run in. 1.00

01:23:34.000 My cell phone sits in here, and I have that motherfucker right there. 1.00

01:23:37.000 That's what I'm going to do from now on. 0.99

01:23:38.000 I was running with ear pods on and listening to music, but the problem is I run with the dog all the time.

01:23:44.000 I want to be able to hear him, and then also...

01:23:48.000 Rattlesnakes.

01:23:49.000 Yes.

01:23:49.000 Do you see the picture I posted of this rattlesnake?

01:23:51.000 Oh my god, dude.

01:23:52.000 Oh, I was on the trail.

01:23:54.000 I sent it to you.

01:23:55.000 Yes. 0.99

01:23:55.000 I was like, dude, look at this fucking rattle. 0.99

01:23:56.000 That was a dragon. 0.99

01:23:57.000 A straight up dragon.

01:23:59.000 And I have nothing.

01:24:00.000 It was so thick.

01:24:01.000 So thick.

01:24:02.000 The thing is, you're not fighting a rattlesnake with a knife.

01:24:04.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:24:05.000 Look at that fucker. 1.00

01:24:07.000 No. 1.00

01:24:08.000 That was someone sent that to me.

01:24:10.000 It's on his Instagram.

01:24:11.000 It's right there. 1.00

01:24:12.000 That's that fucking thing, dude. 1.00

01:24:14.000 Look at the size of this fucker. 1.00

01:24:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:24:18.000 That's a big snake, man.

01:24:19.000 Look how thick he is.

01:24:20.000 Ugh.

01:24:21.000 And I was like, oh, look at Theo.

01:24:23.000 That's a serpent, brother. 1.00

01:24:28.000 He's so stupid. 1.00

01:24:29.000 Tim Dillon, that's my agent. 1.00

01:24:30.000 Oh, my God.

01:24:37.000 I love Tim.

01:24:39.000 I didn't see that comment. 0.97

01:24:41.000 That's so fucking funny. 0.98

01:24:42.000 So again, I usually run with headphones on, and that day I was running, I was on my bike, and I took one out for whatever reason. 0.99

01:24:49.000 I'm running, and I hear something, and I look down, I see, I'm like, holy fuck! 0.99

01:24:56.000 And I'm not scared of a lot, but I'm scared of snakes, man. 0.99

01:24:58.000 I really am.

01:24:59.000 You should be scared of rattlesnakes, because if they get you, it's a mess.

01:25:02.000 Well, I'm usually with my son. 1.00

01:25:05.000 Imagine a kid gets bit by a fucking rattlesnake. 1.00

01:25:08.000 I think about it all the time. 0.99

01:25:09.000 I was looking at a house once and there was a rattlesnake right in the front yard.

01:25:13.000 Oh, that's a bad sign.

01:25:14.000 I killed it. 0.97

01:25:15.000 Did you? 1.00

01:25:16.000 I stomped on its head. 1.00

01:25:17.000 Yeah, fuck yeah. 1.00

01:25:18.000 Because I was like, first of all, it's these people's house. 1.00

01:25:20.000 Even if I don't buy this house.

01:25:22.000 And if they have kids or dogs.

01:25:23.000 They did have a kid.

01:25:24.000 Oh, dude.

01:25:24.000 You have to.

01:25:26.000 But my wife was like, that's a bad sign. 1.00

01:25:28.000 She's right.

01:25:29.000 Yeah.

01:25:30.000 But with that, I'm like, and I wanted to go that way.

01:25:33.000 I was going back home downhill.

01:25:34.000 I'm like, dude, please don't make me go back around six miles uphill.

01:25:37.000 It's such a nightmare. 0.86

01:25:39.000 And I was like, I'm just going to fucking run by it. 0.97

01:25:41.000 And I just had this vision in my head of him fucking leashing out if I made a quick movement. 0.98

01:25:46.000 So I was like, I'm going to get some rocks. 0.99

01:25:47.000 So I'm throwing rocks at him. 0.99

01:25:48.000 This thing didn't give a fuck, dude. 0.99

01:25:50.000 It was hitting him in the head and he's just staring at me and went, he's a pretty gangster. 1.00

01:25:53.000 I'm going to go back the long way.

01:25:55.000 Went the long way, dude.

01:25:57.000 I was so scared, man.

01:25:58.000 You should be.

01:25:59.000 You get bit by a rattlesnake, it is a real nightmare.

01:26:02.000 I'm in the middle of nowhere. 1.00

01:26:03.000 I'd be so fucked. 0.99

01:26:04.000 It causes necrosis all around the injury. 1.00

01:26:06.000 Your tissue rots away.

01:26:08.000 There's some horrible websites that will show you what it looks like when someone gets bit by a rattlesnake and then they have to have multiple, multiple surgeries.

01:26:16.000 Skin grafts, all the tissue around the injury dies.

01:26:20.000 This one guy got bit on his arm, and I want to say it took him like 13 surgeries to get back the use of his arm.

01:26:27.000 But I mean, over years, it was like a huge, like huge rotting hole where the bite was, where you could see the bone. 0.99

01:26:35.000 And in the mountain land, I'm thinking, because I saw the big print, I'm like, that's a big fucking cat, man. 0.96

01:26:41.000 How big was it? 0.98

01:26:42.000 Like a hand?

01:26:43.000 A little small in my hand.

01:26:45.000 They're big and they're out there.

01:26:46.000 There's a lot of them, man.

01:26:47.000 There's a lot of them.

01:26:48.000 If they're hungry...

01:26:49.000 Try finding deer these days.

01:26:50.000 When was the last time you saw a deer?

01:26:52.000 Couldn't tell you.

01:26:52.000 Especially around our parts.

01:26:54.000 Couldn't tell you.

01:26:54.000 There should be deer everywhere.

01:26:56.000 If there's a deer and there's a buck and a doe and then there's a bunch of other does, there should be deer everywhere.

01:27:02.000 It should be like Pennsylvania where you can't drive at night or you're worried about hitting them.

01:27:06.000 Pennsylvania doesn't have any mountain lions. 0.77

01:27:08.000 We got a fuckload of cats, and we have bobcats, too.

01:27:11.000 We have coyotes. 1.00

01:27:12.000 I'll fuck a bobcat up, man. 1.00

01:27:14.000 You think you would. 1.00

01:27:15.000 I don't think- But if you had a 40-pound cat trying to kill you, you'd be freaked out.

01:27:19.000 Oh, for sure. 1.00

01:27:20.000 The thing about a mountain lion killing you is it might be able to kill you, but I want to have something where I'm going to plunge it into his fucking eyeball. 1.00

01:27:28.000 Give me that knife, dude. 1.00

01:27:29.000 Yeah.

01:27:30.000 Please.

01:27:31.000 It's like a spike.

01:27:32.000 I thought of you right away.

01:27:34.000 Have you seen his website?

01:27:34.000 Go to the Half Face Blades website.

01:27:37.000 And I thought of you coming on the show being like, you guys, you and Brian's sad, and Eddie's there, and I'm gone, my seat's open.

01:27:42.000 Oh, no. 0.98

01:27:43.000 And you being like, I fucking told him. 1.00

01:27:45.000 I fucking told him. 1.00

01:27:46.000 Dude, if you got killed by a mountain lion, I would become the mountain lion punisher. 1.00

01:27:50.000 I would set food out. 1.00

01:27:52.000 I'd set food out there and wear a fucking ghillie suit and be hiding in the bushes. 0.99

01:27:56.000 That's what it looks like. 1.00

01:27:57.000 Fuck, yeah. 1.00

01:27:58.000 Yeah, but it's wrapped with... 1.00

01:28:00.000 It's not a metal handle.

01:28:03.000 It's wrapped with paracord.

01:28:05.000 Let's see if there's an image of it with the paracord.

01:28:07.000 Yeah.

01:28:08.000 Either way, I'm shoving that thing into some mountain lion's eyeball. 0.98

01:28:13.000 It's so stressful.

01:28:14.000 Yeah, I stopped taking my son on that path.

01:28:16.000 We go on a much smaller one now.

01:28:18.000 Yeah, man.

01:28:18.000 There's a lot of wildlife out there, but at least we don't have grizzly bears.

01:28:22.000 You know?

01:28:23.000 At least we don't have...

01:28:24.000 God, man.

01:28:26.000 I'm just so scared now.

01:28:28.000 You should be scared.

01:28:30.000 You should be packing heat.

01:28:31.000 I gotta do something.

01:28:32.000 And I go deep, man.

01:28:34.000 I go down the mountain on my bike.

01:28:36.000 That's a good one, too.

01:28:36.000 A spike.

01:28:37.000 Oh, that thing's sick. 1.00

01:28:38.000 Yeah. 0.74

01:28:39.000 But I want to be able to cut, too, not just puncture. 0.99

01:28:43.000 Oh, just fucking... 0.99

01:28:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:28:47.000 The subhuman piece of shit's my knife. 1.00

01:28:49.000 I thought it through. 1.00

01:28:52.000 But your dog hasn't encountered any snakes or anything?

01:28:55.000 No.

01:28:56.000 No, he hasn't, but my other dogs had.

01:29:00.000 Frank Sinatra, my pit bull, when he was alive, he had been bitten three different times by rattlesnakes.

01:29:07.000 Never on the nose.

01:29:08.000 Yeah, on his face.

01:29:09.000 That's when they die though, right?

01:29:10.000 He was good. 0.75

01:29:11.000 That dog with a tank.

01:29:12.000 He'd be so crazy. 0.79

01:29:15.000 His face swole up like a balloon. 0.61

01:29:16.000 I had to bring him in.

01:29:17.000 Have you seen the...

01:29:18.000 I saw some research that was saying rattlesnakes are aware that the rattle gives them away and people are killing them, so they're not rattling as much anymore.

01:29:26.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:29:27.000 That's the new study they found out.

01:29:28.000 So they're evolving?

01:29:29.000 They're evolving.

01:29:30.000 Realizing the rattles give them away to humans and they get killed.

01:29:33.000 So they got smarter and they're not rattling as much.

01:29:36.000 Jesus Christ.

01:29:37.000 So I see that big snake.

01:29:39.000 I go the other way.

01:29:39.000 I see an old man walking down.

01:29:41.000 I go, dude, there's the biggest rattlesnake you've ever seen about 500 yards away.

01:29:45.000 He goes, really?

01:29:46.000 I go, yeah.

01:29:47.000 He goes, I have to go this way.

01:29:48.000 My wife and kid are down there.

01:29:49.000 And they're coming up.

01:29:50.000 He goes, can you show me where?

01:29:52.000 I go, sure.

01:29:53.000 I walk down there.

01:29:54.000 I go, he's right.

01:29:55.000 He's not there.

01:29:56.000 And then behind us we hear...

01:29:59.000 Dude, so scary.

01:30:02.000 I was running with my dogs once.

01:30:04.000 We're going down this hill on this trail, and I ran over this stick.

01:30:08.000 And as I'm in the air over the stick, I realize it's a rattlesnake. 0.99

01:30:11.000 Oh, shit. 0.98

01:30:12.000 Yeah, it's a big one, like as thick as my forearm. 1.00

01:30:14.000 I'm like, holy fuck. 0.99

01:30:15.000 That was the biggest snake I've ever seen. 1.00

01:30:17.000 Did he do anything?

01:30:17.000 Nope, just laid there.

01:30:19.000 And then I started throwing rocks at him, and I was screaming at my dogs to back up.

01:30:22.000 Jesus Christ.

01:30:23.000 And I threw rocks at him, and he got off the trail, and he slithered into the bushes.

01:30:27.000 It's so scary when you see them.

01:30:28.000 That was a long time ago.

01:30:29.000 That was more than 10 years ago.

01:30:30.000 But I remember while it was happening, I was like, whoa. 0.99

01:30:33.000 I was like, that is a big fucking scene. 0.99

01:30:35.000 Fat, thick around. 1.00

01:30:37.000 Like an old one. 1.00

01:30:38.000 And you're not going to do shit. 0.99

01:30:40.000 Like if it bites you, it's not like there's going to be this tussle. 0.99

01:30:43.000 No. 1.00

01:30:44.000 If it bites you, you're fucked. 1.00

01:30:45.000 He's fucking out. 1.00

01:30:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:30:46.000 You're fucked. 1.00

01:30:47.000 And it's so bad. 1.00

01:30:49.000 You don't suck the poison out or cut it or any of that stuff that people say.

01:30:53.000 You wet it with a cold, damp cloth and you get to a doctor as quick as you can.

01:30:57.000 What about a tourniquet?

01:30:58.000 I don't think so.

01:30:59.000 I don't think you're supposed to do that. 1.00

01:31:00.000 I think that's all bullshit. 0.99

01:31:02.000 I think what it does is it digests the meat. 1.00

01:31:06.000 See, what rattlesnake venom does is like when it stabs a rabbit or some shit, it doesn't have... 0.98

01:31:14.000 Like, it's not an animal that digests things the way that we do. 0.97

01:31:19.000 And I think one of the things it does is the poison helps digest the meat.

01:31:23.000 Because their poison doesn't just, like, kill the thing and paralyze the thing, but it also breaks down the tissue.

01:31:29.000 So then when it's eating it, it's like the necrosis of the tissue.

01:31:33.000 Might have made all that up.

01:31:34.000 No, it sounds legit.

01:31:35.000 Did you hear that?

01:31:36.000 There's that rapper, I think, Mike Posner.

01:31:40.000 So he was running from California to Florida.

01:31:43.000 He got bit by a rattlesnake, right?

01:31:43.000 In Colorado, I think, I forget where he's at.

01:31:45.000 He got bit by a baby rattlesnake, which is more dangerous because babies don't know how to control their venom.

01:31:50.000 The big ones do. 1.00

01:31:51.000 Babies are just like, ah, fuck it, and they release all their venom. 1.00

01:31:53.000 So it's supposed to be more dangerous to get bit by a baby. 1.00

01:31:56.000 I heard that's a myth.

01:31:57.000 I might have made that up.

01:31:58.000 No, I don't think you did make it up because I heard it before, but then I remember reading that baby rattlesnakes are no more deadly than regular rattlesnakes.

01:32:04.000 Really? 0.99

01:32:04.000 I know Mike Posner was fucked up. 0.99

01:32:06.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:32:06.000 Because he'd do a rap in every city, and then he was doing a rap from his hospital bed. 0.99

01:32:10.000 Fucked up. 1.00

01:32:11.000 It ruined his shit. 1.00

01:32:12.000 He was stuck in there for weeks. 1.00

01:32:14.000 Weeks? 0.98

01:32:15.000 Yeah, because the baby rattler really fucked him up. 0.99

01:32:17.000 Well, my dogs got fucked up three different times. 1.00

01:32:20.000 My female, she got fucked up once, and my male got fucked up three times. 0.99

01:32:26.000 So three different times I had to bring them in. 1.00

01:32:28.000 One time they both got fucked up. 0.99

01:32:29.000 But they were fine. 0.99

01:32:30.000 Yeah, but they had to get anti-venom and it's...

01:32:33.000 It's expensive.

01:32:33.000 Yeah, it's expensive.

01:32:34.000 It's several thousand dollars for the anti-venom, so if you're poor...

01:32:37.000 Think about milking the snake.

01:32:39.000 Yeah.

01:32:40.000 Of course it's expensive. 1.00

01:32:41.000 You got some fucking dude milking the snake's venom? 1.00

01:32:43.000 You know, you can get immune to that shit. 1.00

01:32:45.000 Guys, they milk snakes and then they give themselves like a little bit at a time and eventually they get immune to it. 1.00

01:32:50.000 Isn't that nuts?

01:32:52.000 Pretty nuts.

01:32:53.000 Yeah, like those snake handler dudes. 1.00

01:32:55.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:32:56.000 Have you ever seen those dudes who handle snakes in church services? 1.00

01:33:00.000 Oh my god.

01:33:02.000 Yeah, man. 1.00

01:33:03.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:33:04.000 That's some old school fire and brimstone shit, man. 1.00

01:33:07.000 Handling snakes. 1.00

01:33:08.000 Have you seen that evil priest?

01:33:11.000 He has like this real evil eyes. 0.83

01:33:12.000 Him and his boys.

01:33:13.000 I'm gonna blow COVID away.

01:33:17.000 Yeah, that's that same guy that he got interviewed by some woman.

01:33:21.000 She was asking him, do you think that poor people are demons?

01:33:23.000 I never said that!

01:33:25.000 He's so scary.

01:33:26.000 I never said that.

01:33:27.000 Then he tries to smile. 1.00

01:33:28.000 He can tell he wants to hit a bitch. 1.00

01:33:30.000 What is his name again? 1.00

01:33:35.000 Kenneth Copeland?

01:33:36.000 Is that it?

01:33:36.000 Yeah.

01:33:36.000 God, he's a scary dude.

01:33:38.000 He's a scary dude.

01:33:38.000 And he's got a lot of money.

01:33:40.000 Tons of it. 1.00

01:33:41.000 Flies private and shit. 1.00

01:33:42.000 He's got his own jets. 1.00

01:33:43.000 But now he can't have a crowd, so it's just him and his boys.

01:33:45.000 And they're all, praise Jesus!

01:33:47.000 Blow it away! 0.99

01:33:48.000 Blow it away! 0.99

01:33:48.000 There's no crowd, yeah. 0.99

01:33:49.000 Which is really weird.

01:33:51.000 He's doing this show with no crowd.

01:33:52.000 I think he bought his jet from Tyler Perry.

01:33:55.000 Hell yeah.

01:33:55.000 He bought Tyler Perry's jet.

01:33:56.000 Fucking right he did. 0.95

01:33:58.000 You know what's weird is Wrestlemania did it with no crowd. 0.96

01:34:00.000 Yeah.

01:34:01.000 If you thought wrestling was weird before, try and watch it with no crowd.

01:34:04.000 So strange.

01:34:05.000 It's so weird.

01:34:06.000 Things with no crowd.

01:34:08.000 People that are doing stand-up with no crowd need to stop doing stand-up with no crowd.

01:34:11.000 Please stop doing it.

01:34:12.000 Stop doing that.

01:34:13.000 We got our text.

01:34:14.000 We send videos of people doing stand-up without a crowd.

01:34:16.000 It's tough, man.

01:34:18.000 Well, not only that, but the people that are doing stand-up without a crowd, they're not good at it to begin with.

01:34:23.000 They're not good at it with a crowd.

01:34:25.000 So then they do it with no crowd and like, oh my god, this is a disaster.

01:34:29.000 It's the biggest disaster.

01:34:32.000 Yeah.

01:34:33.000 It doesn't work.

01:34:33.000 Oh my god.

01:34:34.000 It's so tough to watch on stage with no crowd.

01:34:37.000 Like their punchline. 1.00

01:34:38.000 It's just like, oh fuck. 1.00

01:34:39.000 I know. 0.99

01:34:40.000 People are talking about doing Zoom stand-up. 0.99

01:34:42.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99

01:34:44.000 I'm going to wait this out. 0.99

01:34:45.000 I mean, is that what it's going to come down to? 0.99

01:34:48.000 If they can do that with Snake Venom, can't they do that with the fucking Corona? 0.98

01:34:51.000 Just give me a little bit. 0.99

01:34:52.000 I'm so...

01:34:54.000 Optimistic about things.

01:34:55.000 I got a show end of June in Spokane, Washington.

01:34:58.000 Do you really?

01:34:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:34:59.000 Damn, gangster. 1.00

01:35:01.000 You think it's going to be open by then? 1.00

01:35:03.000 Washington had a lot of deaths.

01:35:04.000 But now they're the best because they've gone through it.

01:35:07.000 So now it's way down there.

01:35:09.000 That's interesting. 1.00

01:35:10.000 Washington, California is kicking ass. 1.00

01:35:12.000 But Washington is kicking more ass than California because they fucking peaked. 1.00

01:35:16.000 Jamie, what's the latest when California is going to open up? 1.00

01:35:21.000 See if it says that.

01:35:22.000 It's interesting, Los Angeles County tried to have gun stores shut down, saying that they're not essential, and they put the kibosh on that with the quickness!

01:35:30.000 Hell no.

01:35:31.000 Quickness! 0.98

01:35:34.000 Dude, you're a shooter now.

01:35:35.000 I'm a shooter now.

01:35:36.000 That was fun, huh?

01:35:37.000 Did you like it? 1.00

01:35:37.000 That was fun as fuck. 1.00

01:35:38.000 It was a good time, right? 1.00

01:35:40.000 That was fun.

01:35:40.000 It's good to know.

01:35:41.000 It's good to know how to shoot accurately and quickly.

01:35:43.000 Yeah, because I have my guns at home, but I can't... 1.00

01:35:45.000 I mean, I've only shot it once, and it was just some bullshit. 0.96

01:35:48.000 Not like with legit trainers and coaches. 0.99

01:35:51.000 Yeah.

01:35:51.000 It's great, right?

01:35:52.000 So fun.

01:35:53.000 You get good at it.

01:35:54.000 I'm going to go back out there.

01:35:55.000 Let's go.

01:35:55.000 Because you got to shoot the cool gun, right?

01:35:57.000 Did you?

01:35:57.000 No, Callan did.

01:35:58.000 Yeah, I've shot it before.

01:35:59.000 You've shot it before, but that day you have to get going.

01:36:00.000 Yeah.

01:36:01.000 I left shortly after you.

01:36:02.000 Callan stayed.

01:36:03.000 Yeah.

01:36:04.000 No, it's a good thing to learn.

01:36:07.000 It's a good thing to learn, to learn how to handle a gun, to learn how to use it correctly, learn all the safety procedures, but learn how to do it accurately, use the proper technique.

01:36:17.000 It's like everything else, like martial arts or everything.

01:36:20.000 You need to know how to do it right.

01:36:21.000 You get familiar with it.

01:36:22.000 Yeah, it makes a big difference, man.

01:36:25.000 You know, and doing it at Terran Tactical, where they trained Keanu Reeves for John Wick, and Halle Berry trained there for John Wick 3, and he trains a bunch of people for movies.

01:36:34.000 He's the real deal.

01:36:35.000 Yes.

01:36:36.000 Nice guy, too.

01:36:37.000 A lot of cops there, too.

01:36:39.000 You know, a lot of people practicing that need it for the line of duty.

01:36:44.000 Yeah, it was interesting.

01:36:44.000 He was saying he has a lot of special forces guys there.

01:36:47.000 And I was like, oh, do they just kill this?

01:36:49.000 He goes, it's not really their thing.

01:36:51.000 He goes, a lot of them come and they don't do great because that's not, it's just not what they practice at.

01:36:56.000 He goes, once they get it down, yeah, they're monsters.

01:36:58.000 But at first, no. 0.96

01:37:00.000 Yeah, their thing is killing bad guys.

01:37:02.000 Their thing is not hitting metal targets.

01:37:06.000 Training with a gun is like training with everything else.

01:37:11.000 It's like the more you do it, the better you get at it.

01:37:13.000 It's that simple.

01:37:14.000 It's just most people don't get the opportunity to do what we did, to train with a guy like Taren and learn correctly, learn how to do it from a real master like that.

01:37:23.000 A guy who's won countless competitions.

01:37:25.000 Yeah, he's fast with it.

01:37:27.000 It's a weird thing, right?

01:37:28.000 To be able to be really good at shooting something.

01:37:31.000 How about I go, can you imagine... 0.97

01:37:32.000 I was telling you and Brian, I go, can you imagine shooting a human like this? 0.95

01:37:36.000 You go, sure can! 0.94

01:37:38.000 Sure can!

01:37:39.000 Imagine if someone broke into your house, Brandon.

01:37:40.000 I was like, oh yeah, no doubt.

01:37:41.000 You could.

01:37:42.000 Yeah, you could.

01:37:45.000 That's one of the weird things.

01:37:46.000 There are so many people that I know that are real anti-gun that got guns.

01:37:50.000 When this whole thing went down, a buddy of mine, I don't want to say his name, but his wife was like, you can never have a gun in this house.

01:37:56.000 He's like, okay, okay. 0.99

01:37:58.000 Soon as this shit went down, she's like, we need to get a gun. 1.00

01:38:00.000 Get a gun. 1.00

01:38:01.000 Immediately.

01:38:01.000 Yeah.

01:38:02.000 Yeah.

01:38:03.000 Immediately. 0.97

01:38:04.000 Damn right. 0.98

01:38:04.000 Full change. 0.98

01:38:05.000 Anthony Smith fights home intruder, man charged with criminal trespass.

01:38:08.000 Yeah, you were telling me about that.

01:38:10.000 Apparently the guy was tough, too.

01:38:13.000 And smaller than him.

01:38:14.000 He said the guy was like 170 pounds.

01:38:16.000 And the guy took everything he could throw at him.

01:38:17.000 Maybe he's on meth.

01:38:18.000 He said, no normal human being is able to fight like that.

01:38:22.000 He said, I am by no means the baddest dude on the planet.

01:38:24.000 Listen, he's top 100. Out of all the humans on the planet, Anthony Smith is one of the top 100 baddest motherfuckers that's walking the earth. 0.99

01:38:32.000 But he's a regular Joe, and I had a hard time dealing with him, and he took everything I gave him, every punch, every knee, every elbow. 0.98

01:38:37.000 He took every single one of them and kept fighting me.

01:38:40.000 At one point, Smith said his mother-in-law brought him a kitchen knife, which he held to Haberman, who continued to fight him.

01:38:47.000 Why didn't he just choke him unconscious?

01:38:50.000 That's a legit point. 1.00

01:38:51.000 Why wouldn't you just choke the fuck out of him? 0.99

01:38:52.000 Yeah, I just... 0.99

01:38:54.000 Haberman said, hey, I'm sorry, as he walked by after things calmed down.

01:38:58.000 Hey, man, I'm sorry.

01:39:00.000 I'm sorry I tried to kill you.

01:39:01.000 He said there was blood all over the computer and Haberman was cut and had swelling on his face.

01:39:05.000 Yeah.

01:39:07.000 But he didn't land anything on Anthony. 1.00

01:39:09.000 Anthony just beat the shit on him. 1.00

01:39:10.000 This guy took it. 1.00

01:39:11.000 Of course.

01:39:11.000 But the guy took it.

01:39:12.000 The fact that the guy only weighed 170 pounds, and it says Smith fights at 205 pounds.

01:39:17.000 He's walking around 230 easy.

01:39:19.000 Oh, yeah.

01:39:19.000 He's a big kid.

01:39:19.000 And he's smashing this dude that's a legit 60 pounds lighter than him, which is crazy.

01:39:25.000 He said he experienced a wide range of emotions afterwards.

01:39:28.000 I like Smith a lot.

01:39:29.000 He's a very intelligent dude.

01:39:31.000 Have you heard him as an analyst?

01:39:32.000 Yes, he's excellent.

01:39:33.000 He has a future in that.

01:39:34.000 He's got a future in fighting, too.

01:39:38.000 I think after he fought Jon Jones, he got the rub, and he looked fantastic in the next fight with Gustafson.

01:39:43.000 If you remember that fight, he could have easily won that fight with that DQ. Remember that?

01:39:50.000 John hit him and they go, do you want to continue fighting or do you want to come out?

01:39:53.000 Did he hit him with a low knee?

01:39:55.000 I forget.

01:39:56.000 But you remember that?

01:39:58.000 It was a knee when he was down.

01:39:59.000 And he goes, do you want to stop the fight?

01:40:00.000 And he would have won the fight.

01:40:01.000 And he goes, that's not my style.

01:40:02.000 He goes, continue the fight.

01:40:04.000 That's interesting.

01:40:04.000 I don't remember that.

01:40:05.000 But I remember it vaguely.

01:40:07.000 He's a badass, man.

01:40:09.000 He is.

01:40:09.000 He's a very, very smart guy.

01:40:12.000 If you're going to act out and make the news, now's the time.

01:40:17.000 Because it's gonna go away.

01:40:20.000 We're trying to not die. 0.99

01:40:21.000 We don't give a fuck what John's doing. 0.99

01:40:23.000 There's a little bit of that, right? 0.98

01:40:24.000 But there's also a little bit of people being angry.

01:40:26.000 We know about John.

01:40:27.000 Yeah, but the world doesn't, you think?

01:40:28.000 No.

01:40:29.000 But even with Kobe's death, have you heard anyone talk like that?

01:40:33.000 Before this came, it was so heavy with Kobe.

01:40:36.000 No one's really even mentioned it. 0.99

01:40:38.000 Because we're so focused on beating this fucking virus. 1.00

01:40:41.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:40:43.000 Yeah, it's interesting.

01:40:45.000 I'm curious to see when all is said and done, how many more people die of the flu than of dying of COVID. Yes.

01:40:52.000 Because it's going to be higher.

01:40:53.000 The flu numbers are going to be higher.

01:40:57.000 I mean, imagine if we just do this every time there's a flu.

01:41:02.000 There's a shutdown.

01:41:03.000 Don't you think at some point with society, we're going to get to a point where people are sick of being quarantined and they're going to look at the numbers and go, okay, these are the odds of me getting it and the odds of me surviving it.

01:41:14.000 I'm not going to live my life like this, man.

01:41:16.000 Yeah, you shouldn't because the odds are you, you know, dying from driving in the same way.

01:41:21.000 I mean, the other thing is when people leave the house, you're putting people at danger.

01:41:25.000 Okay, do you drive?

01:41:27.000 Well, you're putting people at danger.

01:41:28.000 You know how many people die every year?

01:41:29.000 30,000 people die every year from motor vehicle accidents in the United States?

01:41:33.000 Well, think how many lives have been saved because of the quarantine, because of no car crashes.

01:41:39.000 That's a good point.

01:41:40.000 A ton! 1.00

01:41:40.000 Except, have you noticed how people are driving like fucking idiots? 1.00

01:41:43.000 Oh, I drive 170 miles an hour. 1.00

01:41:46.000 Everywhere.

01:41:46.000 I drive like I robbed a bank, and it's out of...

01:41:49.000 The other day I went, I gotta calm down.

01:41:51.000 I spun my car out, getting on the 405. Did you really?

01:41:54.000 Oh, dude.

01:41:55.000 No one's out! 0.99

01:41:56.000 It's fucking bombs over Baghdad. 1.00

01:42:00.000 Fucking GT2. I never get to drive like this. 1.00

01:42:03.000 That car is so crazy.

01:42:04.000 You can't drive like that in that car.

01:42:05.000 That car's too bonkers.

01:42:07.000 It's so fun, dude.

01:42:08.000 And no one's on Topanga Canyon or Malibu Canyon?

01:42:10.000 Dude.

01:42:11.000 It's so weird, right?

01:42:12.000 I'm going to put a GoPro on.

01:42:13.000 You guys should see the way I drive.

01:42:14.000 One of the things this makes me realize is how much I would love living in a smaller town.

01:42:18.000 Me too.

01:42:19.000 Because I like it when there's no traffic, man.

01:42:20.000 It's nice.

01:42:21.000 I love it.

01:42:21.000 It just feels different when you're driving around.

01:42:23.000 It feels more relaxed.

01:42:24.000 You know what else?

01:42:25.000 I'm realizing how...

01:42:27.000 Obviously, LA's huge, but to get to Pasadena or Hollywood or Santa Monica with no traffic...

01:42:32.000 Easy.

01:42:32.000 Everywhere's like 18 minutes away.

01:42:35.000 It's so nice.

01:42:36.000 Yes, yes. 1.00

01:42:37.000 Two hours of its regular shit. 1.00

01:42:39.000 I know, right? 1.00

01:42:40.000 Like how much does it get to San Diego right now?

01:42:42.000 It's an hour and 10 minutes.

01:42:43.000 So easy.

01:42:44.000 Yeah.

01:42:44.000 San Diego is a nightmare.

01:42:46.000 Driving to San Diego.

01:42:48.000 Oh dude, when I do La Jolla, you have to do a Thursday night show?

01:42:51.000 Yeah.

01:42:52.000 What time do you leave?

01:42:53.000 I leave at noon.

01:42:54.000 I leave at noon?

01:42:54.000 I left at 11 last time.

01:42:56.000 It still took me three and a half hours.

01:42:58.000 Yeah, 11's probably better, because then you don't get that 3 o'clock traffic. 1.00

01:43:02.000 If you don't get past the OC by 2 o'clock, you're fucked, man. 0.99

01:43:06.000 The OC is the worst traffic on Earth. 1.00

01:43:08.000 It's like right up there with Mexico City.

01:43:11.000 Orange County's so crazy.

01:43:12.000 There's so many people jammed into Orange County. 1.00

01:43:14.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:43:14.000 They must have a lot of COVID-19 in Orange County. 1.00

01:43:18.000 Not as bad as us.

01:43:19.000 Really? 0.99

01:43:20.000 All of California is kind of kicking ass, so I don't know. 0.98

01:43:24.000 Two and a half hours to downtown San Diego right now. 0.99

01:43:26.000 Right now it says that?

01:43:27.000 That's a nice drive. 1.00

01:43:28.000 That's if you drive like a bitch. 1.00

01:43:30.000 Drive his car. 1.00

01:43:31.000 Yeah, you drive my car.

01:43:32.000 It's about an hour and a half.

01:43:34.000 I started looking at ways to kind of mod it even. 0.99

01:43:37.000 But when you talk to a Porsche enthusiast, you're like, dude, don't fucking touch it, man. 0.97

01:43:42.000 Don't touch it. 0.98

01:43:42.000 Your car's too fast as it is. 0.98

01:43:43.000 You're not going to make it faster.

01:43:45.000 It's just so good.

01:43:46.000 The GT2 is a rare, perfect car.

01:43:49.000 It's perfection.

01:43:51.000 It's one of those rare cars where right off the assembly line, they nailed it. 1.00

01:43:55.000 I love that fucking car. 1.00

01:43:56.000 It's a beast of a car, man. 1.00

01:43:58.000 Do you think you could ever live in San Diego?

01:44:00.000 That's one of the places I think I could live.

01:44:01.000 Dude, me too.

01:44:02.000 I was talking about it with Cal and I said if I didn't have to be in LA for entertainment purposes and stand-up, I'd move to La Jolla.

01:44:09.000 Yes.

01:44:10.000 The house in La Jolla and it's quiet, good families.

01:44:13.000 Very nice.

01:44:14.000 Restaurants, coffee.

01:44:16.000 Cliffs.

01:44:17.000 Now, how many restaurants are they going to be open?

01:44:19.000 How quick do you think everything bounces back?

01:44:22.000 They have to bounce back.

01:44:24.000 So I bet people are going to be eager to bounce back, man.

01:44:26.000 Right, but the restaurants that are going under, it's going to take a long time before they rebuild and reopen.

01:44:32.000 The other thing is, because you're obviously a theater slash arena act, I think September, October is going to be fine for you, but June, July, August in theaters is going to be tough.

01:44:45.000 Unless they ask people to wear a mask or some shit, or maybe at the regular kind of comedy places, like the Comedy Zones and Heliums, they don't let as many people.

01:44:55.000 What if they're gonna test people coming in, test their temperature coming in? 0.91

01:44:59.000 You know?

01:45:01.000 But then you're in line with all those people.

01:45:03.000 Like, imagine if you're in line and some dude's got the fever, and he's right in front of you, and they test him like, sir, you have to leave, and everyone's like, ah!

01:45:11.000 Back away, back away! 1.00

01:45:14.000 I saw World War Z the other day.

01:45:15.000 Not a good idea.

01:45:17.000 Not a good idea during all this.

01:45:18.000 Dude, those people were talking about out of shape. 1.00

01:45:21.000 If zombies come, you're even more fucked. 1.00

01:45:23.000 You'll be the first one. 1.00

01:45:24.000 Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

01:45:26.000 My thing about zombies were, always in The Walking Dead, why is this lasting years?

01:45:31.000 How are there still zombies? 0.99

01:45:33.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:45:34.000 What are they eating? 1.00

01:45:35.000 How are they staying alive?

01:45:37.000 True.

01:45:37.000 Well, they're zombies, though, you know.

01:45:38.000 And they're slow zombies. 0.97

01:45:40.000 The slow zombies, I feel like we could wipe them out in a day. 0.86

01:45:42.000 Yeah, why are they so slow? 1.00

01:45:43.000 And then Z-World was like, fuck that noise. 1.00

01:45:47.000 They're like running zombies. 1.00

01:45:48.000 And these things are fast.

01:45:48.000 Well, the 28 days later were the first fast zombies.

01:45:51.000 That's true.

01:45:52.000 They were the first fast zombies.

01:45:53.000 They were the scariest zombies. 0.99

01:45:55.000 28 Days Later is still, to me, for my money, that's the scariest fucking horror movie. 0.99

01:45:59.000 It's up there. 0.98

01:46:00.000 The scariest zombie movie, I should say.

01:46:01.000 Most realistic.

01:46:03.000 World War Z is up there, though, man.

01:46:05.000 It's not as violent.

01:46:07.000 There's some violence in 28 Days Later.

01:46:09.000 We're like, Jesus Christ!

01:46:11.000 Where people have to hack other people apart, their loved ones.

01:46:15.000 Boyfriends and girlfriends hack each other apart when they realize the person just got it and they're about to turn.

01:46:20.000 Well, how about Brad Pitt with his girl?

01:46:22.000 They're on the plane.

01:46:22.000 She got bitten.

01:46:23.000 He fucking hacks her arm off. 1.00

01:46:26.000 Remember? 1.00

01:46:27.000 I don't remember that.

01:46:28.000 Before they got on the plane, she got bit. 0.66

01:46:30.000 And he's like, let me see your arm.

01:46:31.000 And he's like, bite down this.

01:46:32.000 Hey, goosh! 1.00

01:46:33.000 She cuts her arm off.

01:46:34.000 And then they're on the plane.

01:46:35.000 And they're chilling.

01:46:36.000 Everything's all good.

01:46:37.000 And then the zombie comes out the back. 1.00

01:46:40.000 And he's like, oh, shit. 1.00

01:46:40.000 Takes the grenade. 1.00

01:46:41.000 Throws it on the plane.

01:46:43.000 Why do I not remember this?

01:46:45.000 Dude, this movie's fantastic.

01:46:47.000 Is it right here?

01:46:47.000 Brad Pitt's my favorite.

01:46:48.000 Is it his arm?

01:46:51.000 Yeah, because they're there and she's biting down, and he's like, bite down, this cuts her arm off. 0.96

01:46:54.000 It's on the plane you said this happened?

01:46:56.000 No, on the plane is when he throws the bomb.

01:46:58.000 See, she got bit right here. 0.98

01:46:59.000 Oh, see, I got...

01:47:01.000 This way he saves her life.

01:47:03.000 Oh, that's right.

01:47:04.000 That's right. 1.00

01:47:05.000 He's like, boom, bitch! 1.00

01:47:09.000 Brad Pitt style, dog. 1.00

01:47:11.000 Yeah.

01:47:13.000 I didn't get that far in the movie.

01:47:15.000 Oh, wow.

01:47:16.000 Yeah, well, I watched it the first time I got that far, but the other night I only got an hour into it.

01:47:20.000 Great movie.

01:47:21.000 Not even.

01:47:21.000 I think I got 40 minutes into it.

01:47:23.000 Fantastic movie.

01:47:24.000 And I was like...

01:47:25.000 Do you think Brad Pitt sleeps with NAD drips, or what do you think?

01:47:28.000 Why does he look like that?

01:47:29.000 He looks great.

01:47:30.000 I know.

01:47:31.000 Weird, right?

01:47:31.000 Like, how's he doing that?

01:47:32.000 I don't know.

01:47:34.000 Genetics.

01:47:34.000 When he took off his shirt for Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, I'm like, look at this guy.

01:47:37.000 Dime piece.

01:47:38.000 Because he's 32 years old. 1.00

01:47:39.000 Ridiculous. 0.99

01:47:40.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:47:41.000 Not fat at all.

01:47:42.000 Nothing.

01:47:43.000 Nothing.

01:47:44.000 What do you think?

01:47:45.000 That's just constant exercise?

01:47:47.000 Genetics and then...

01:47:48.000 Meanwhile, no Instagram posts of him lifting at all.

01:47:51.000 None.

01:47:53.000 Does he even have an Instagram?

01:47:54.000 Think how famous you have to be to not have an Instagram.

01:47:57.000 How about Chappelle?

01:47:58.000 Chappelle doesn't have an Instagram either.

01:48:00.000 Nothing.

01:48:00.000 Another level.

01:48:01.000 There's a few people that are smart.

01:48:02.000 They're just like, why am I doing this?

01:48:03.000 You could do without it.

01:48:06.000 You like it, but you could do without it.

01:48:08.000 Nothing would change for you.

01:48:09.000 Yeah, but it helps to have an ability to express yourself if something comes up.

01:48:15.000 And if you want to promote something, if you need to let people know about something.

01:48:20.000 Like what?

01:48:21.000 Like your shows?

01:48:22.000 Yeah.

01:48:22.000 I think you'd be alright.

01:48:24.000 Yeah, but when you're doing arenas, you really kind of need something like that, man.

01:48:28.000 You sound like 15,000 tickets, 18,000 tickets.

01:48:32.000 You need to let people know.

01:48:33.000 Because otherwise they have to let them know through other means that cost money.

01:48:37.000 How does Chappelle do it?

01:48:40.000 He just banks on Live Nation?

01:48:42.000 He does mostly theaters, which to him, if people find out he's in a place that has 3,000 tickets, they're gone like that.

01:48:49.000 They're gone.

01:48:49.000 It's like when you go from 3,000 to Madison Square Garden, then you're into the 18,000s.

01:48:56.000 And in New York, are you doing regular Madison Square Garden?

01:48:59.000 Yeah.

01:48:59.000 You're doing Big Boy.

01:49:01.000 God dang.

01:49:02.000 I'm doing Boston Garden a week later.

01:49:05.000 Back to back, son.

01:49:06.000 I love it.

01:49:07.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

01:49:08.000 How about the comics who got their special on Netflix, like, right during the quarantine?

01:49:12.000 Segura.

01:49:13.000 Segura, Kreischer.

01:49:14.000 D'Elia next week.

01:49:15.000 D'Elia's Tuesday.

01:49:16.000 Blowing up.

01:49:16.000 D'Elia's Tuesday.

01:49:17.000 Yeah, it's a good move.

01:49:18.000 It's the best move.

01:49:19.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:49:20.000 And the comics like Andrew Schultz and fucking Theo Vaughn, who were gonna shoot it, like, last month and air it, they're fucked. 1.00

01:49:27.000 Well, they're not fucked. 1.00

01:49:29.000 Look, it's always better anyway. 0.95

01:49:31.000 It just tightens your material up.

01:49:32.000 You spend more time with it.

01:49:33.000 No one can do material, though.

01:49:35.000 Yeah, but you're going to have time to think about it.

01:49:37.000 That's true.

01:49:37.000 You're going to have time to change your perspectives on things.

01:49:40.000 I think any thought that you have as a comic, there's a time where it's too much, but most of the time you put them out and you're like, God, I wish I had a couple months.

01:49:50.000 More time.

01:49:51.000 Yeah, almost always.

01:49:52.000 Everything I've ever done, I wish I had three more months.

01:49:54.000 Yeah, I wish I would have waited six more years.

01:49:58.000 It's one of those things, man.

01:50:00.000 But also, I tell everybody, when you're doing stand-up and you're doing a special, the special is only 60-70% as funny as it is being there.

01:50:08.000 It's never as funny as me.

01:50:10.000 No matter who it is.

01:50:11.000 Because part of the fun is you're at a live show with all these people.

01:50:14.000 And you're in a trance and you're all having fun, feeding off the vibe, the energy.

01:50:18.000 You're missing most of that with the Netflix.

01:50:20.000 Did you stop watching Tiger King?

01:50:22.000 I finished it.

01:50:25.000 We did episode 5 last night, so I have two more to go.

01:50:29.000 Okay, but you're kind of in the thick of it.

01:50:31.000 I'm in the thick of it.

01:50:32.000 Did you get where the guy has the hot nanny? 1.00

01:50:35.000 No.

01:50:35.000 That's coming up.

01:50:36.000 Okay.

01:50:37.000 He's like the hottest nanny you've ever seen. 0.99

01:50:38.000 Really? 0.97

01:50:39.000 Well, this show is fucking so strange, but if you had a TV show, like a fiction show, that was that strange? 0.99

01:50:49.000 You wouldn't believe it. 0.99

01:50:50.000 You wouldn't believe it.

01:50:51.000 You go, this show's too over the top.

01:50:53.000 How about the straight kid who just turned gay? 0.98

01:50:54.000 Just needed meth. 0.98

01:50:56.000 Trump moles a Joe Exotic pardon.

01:50:58.000 I was going to bring this up.

01:50:59.000 I'll take a look.

01:50:59.000 Have you seen, you know how he's doing his press conference?

01:51:02.000 Someone asked that question.

01:51:03.000 Yes.

01:51:04.000 About Tiger King.

01:51:05.000 But that's not what he said.

01:51:06.000 He said, I'll take a look just to shut the guy up.

01:51:08.000 And he's like, who said that?

01:51:10.000 Don?

01:51:11.000 Was it my son?

01:51:12.000 It was his son.

01:51:13.000 He goes, which one?

01:51:14.000 Was it Don? 0.94

01:51:14.000 Like he knew it was Don, because Don's kind of crazy. 0.94

01:51:16.000 But it's...

01:51:18.000 I don't know.

01:51:19.000 I didn't get to the part where they go into detail about the murder for hire conviction.

01:51:24.000 So I don't know if he did or didn't do it.

01:51:28.000 I don't know if he did or didn't light his place on fire.

01:51:33.000 Definitely did.

01:51:35.000 Definitely did.

01:51:36.000 Okay, did that woman feed her husband to the tiger? 1.00

01:51:39.000 I don't know, but you know what sucks for her? 1.00

01:51:40.000 Okay, let me stop.

01:51:41.000 Definitely did.

01:51:42.000 But you know what sucks for her? 0.95

01:51:43.000 You know what sucks for her? 1.00

01:51:44.000 Got away with it because this thing's such a hit.

01:51:47.000 Now everyone's, they open back up the case. 1.00

01:51:49.000 She's all fucked. 0.99

01:51:50.000 Well, they should. 1.00

01:51:52.000 I'm just saying it sucks for her. 0.98

01:51:53.000 The husband was worth millions. 0.97

01:51:55.000 He disappears.

01:51:56.000 She runs a tiger sanctuary.

01:51:59.000 Strange.

01:51:59.000 She's got tigers.

01:52:00.000 She has meat grinders. 0.65

01:52:02.000 And she has things that will eat hundreds of pounds of meat. 1.00

01:52:06.000 And Callum pointed this out.

01:52:07.000 He goes, something should be noted.

01:52:08.000 Someone says something about killing a person with a tiger.

01:52:11.000 And they go, yeah, you could just rub some sort of meat on the boots.

01:52:15.000 And she goes, just put sardine.

01:52:16.000 Just put sardine oil on it.

01:52:18.000 That's what she said.

01:52:18.000 Put sardine oil on it.

01:52:20.000 It's super particular.

01:52:22.000 Sardine oil.

01:52:23.000 Oh, okay.

01:52:25.000 They have found the video of his wedding online.

01:52:30.000 And is it real?

01:52:31.000 Well, they played it in the show.

01:52:33.000 Yeah, but they uncovered the full video of it.

01:52:37.000 And this is apparently a pretty wild tape, too.

01:52:40.000 It's 23 minutes long.

01:52:41.000 And these two guys that were both straight are kissing at the wedding.

01:52:45.000 Well, how does that mean?

01:52:47.000 What is straight? 1.00

01:52:49.000 Did they get their dick hard? 1.00

01:52:50.000 Did they fuck guys? 1.00

01:52:51.000 Like, you're gay. 1.00

01:52:52.000 Well, now they did. 0.92

01:52:53.000 It's okay.

01:52:54.000 You can't call them straight.

01:52:56.000 Well, no. 1.00

01:52:56.000 The one homeboy who was like 6'6", who was kind of the dime piece, he was like, I can't remember to fuck these tigers, and the next time I'm sucking his dick. 1.00

01:53:03.000 Because he goes... 1.00

01:53:03.000 And he actually... 1.00

01:53:06.000 That boy wanted to play with them tigers so bad.

01:53:09.000 But Joe Exotic goes, he goes, I told him this, and this is actually a joke.

01:53:13.000 I forget who it's from, but when he said it, I'm like, where do I know?

01:53:16.000 It's someone's joke that it's not his.

01:53:19.000 It's not original. 1.00

01:53:20.000 Because he goes, when you watch porno, do you like the guy with the little dick or the big dick? 1.00

01:53:26.000 And he goes, well, big dick. 1.00

01:53:26.000 He goes, then you ain't that gay. 1.00

01:53:27.000 That's somebody's joke. 0.91

01:53:28.000 I think it's Ron White's or Don Herrera's.

01:53:30.000 But it's a joke that I've heard before.

01:53:32.000 That's interesting.

01:53:33.000 You said Joe Exotic said that in the show, right?

01:53:35.000 Yeah.

01:53:35.000 And I was like, oh, that's funny.

01:53:36.000 You ain't that straight, he said.

01:53:37.000 Yeah.

01:53:37.000 So that's his new guy.

01:53:39.000 That's the new guy.

01:53:40.000 I got to that.

01:53:41.000 Why is Joe Exotic so thick in that picture?

01:53:43.000 He's in a coronavirus isolation.

01:53:46.000 I believe he contracted it.

01:53:48.000 Really?

01:53:48.000 He said he did.

01:53:49.000 That boy would do anything to sell some fucking... 1.00

01:53:51.000 Harvey Weinstein's got it. 1.00

01:53:52.000 Well, you think about, you're inside a fucking prison. 1.00

01:53:57.000 There's no ventilation. 1.00

01:53:58.000 You're in there with a bunch of dudes who have nothing to live for.

01:54:02.000 Everyone's cooped up.

01:54:03.000 No windows.

01:54:04.000 Nothing's open.

01:54:05.000 You ain't getting any air in there.

01:54:06.000 If someone's got something, everybody gets something.

01:54:08.000 Everybody gets it.

01:54:09.000 It goes like fire through bushes, through the whole cell block, I would imagine.

01:54:12.000 What are you going to do, let them go?

01:54:13.000 Yeah.

01:54:14.000 Chicago jail is top U.S. hotspot as virus spreads behind bars.

01:54:18.000 At least 1,324 confirmed coronavirus cases are tied to prisons and jails across the United States, including at least 32 deaths.

01:54:28.000 Wow.

01:54:29.000 What's that percentage?

01:54:30.000 32 out of the 1,300?

01:54:32.000 That's pretty good.

01:54:33.000 I like my odds.

01:54:34.000 I like my odds.

01:54:34.000 I'll take those odds.

01:54:35.000 You ever have these CBD Kill Cliffs?

01:54:38.000 No, I haven't.

01:54:38.000 Drink that, dude.

01:54:39.000 Is there caffeine in them?

01:54:40.000 No.

01:54:41.000 25 milligrams of CBD. Why not?

01:54:44.000 Woo! 0.99

01:54:45.000 You should drink a little whiskey, man.

01:54:47.000 You want to? 1.00

01:54:47.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:54:48.000 Okay. 1.00

01:54:49.000 When else are we going to drink at home?

01:54:53.000 Jimmy's going to get us some glasses.

01:54:54.000 Get us some glasses and a little bit of ice.

01:54:56.000 You got a show after this?

01:54:58.000 Yeah, I'm doing something with Ari.

01:54:59.000 I'm doing Ari's video.

01:55:01.000 He's doing some video series.

01:55:04.000 How's Ari doing?

01:55:05.000 He's hiding.

01:55:05.000 He's in hiding.

01:55:07.000 He's in a state, not New York, until everything, like, people stop dying, and then he's gonna go back.

01:55:16.000 He got freaked out.

01:55:17.000 He fled the city.

01:55:19.000 He should.

01:55:20.000 It was a smart move.

01:55:21.000 I like Ari. 0.83

01:55:23.000 So many people fled the city.

01:55:26.000 John Joseph sent me a video the other day of me on the Madison Square Garden billboard.

01:55:34.000 I saw you post it.

01:55:35.000 There's no one there.

01:55:37.000 It's crazy.

01:55:38.000 Everyone's dead.

01:55:39.000 Oh, Ari left because he's scared of Corona.

01:55:40.000 Yes.

01:55:41.000 I thought you were saying Ari left because of the Kobe thing. 0.81

01:55:42.000 People forgot about that by now.

01:55:44.000 Ari, you good, baby?

01:55:46.000 Yeah.

01:55:46.000 He probably forgot about it.

01:55:48.000 You know, there's a few people that have not forgot about it.

01:55:50.000 Thank you, sir.

01:55:51.000 A few people that have not, but, you know.

01:55:54.000 He won't do that again.

01:55:56.000 No.

01:55:56.000 He learned this lesson.

01:55:57.000 I hope so.

01:55:59.000 Jesus Christ.

01:56:00.000 That was a bad move.

01:56:01.000 Like I said, Ari's always been nice to me.

01:56:03.000 Ari's a great guy.

01:56:04.000 I love Ari.

01:56:04.000 He's always been nice to me.

01:56:05.000 Cheers, brother.

01:56:06.000 Bye, brother.

01:56:06.000 Hey.

01:56:12.000 Not good for the immune system, but good for the head.

01:56:14.000 We'll be alright.

01:56:15.000 Just a little drinky poo a day.

01:56:17.000 Not bad for you.

01:56:18.000 I've been drinking one glass of wine every day.

01:56:20.000 Really?

01:56:21.000 It's supposed to be really good.

01:56:21.000 I've never felt better.

01:56:22.000 You don't realize how much traveling and flying fucked you up. 0.57

01:56:26.000 I feel great. 0.99

01:56:27.000 It fucked you up bad. 0.99

01:56:28.000 I've been thinking about that a lot. 0.99

01:56:29.000 I've been reevaluating a lot of choices.

01:56:32.000 You know how comics do residencies in Vegas?

01:56:35.000 Yes.

01:56:36.000 Why not do a residency in LA? If you want to come see me...

01:56:41.000 I'm at the fucking Ace Theater. 0.99

01:56:43.000 I'm at here. 0.99

01:56:43.000 You should do that. 0.99

01:56:44.000 I'm thinking about it, man.

01:56:45.000 You're at that level.

01:56:46.000 That's a brilliant idea.

01:56:47.000 I'm thinking about going on the road sometimes, but being here a lot more.

01:56:52.000 Think how many people would travel to LA to see you.

01:56:54.000 Yeah.

01:56:54.000 Well, we get a lot of that at the Comedy Store, man.

01:56:57.000 We get a lot of international tourists, too.

01:56:59.000 People that know that I'm not going to Ireland, or I'm not going to Scotland, so they'll come here.

01:57:04.000 Sorry, Scotland.

01:57:04.000 God, you should do that.

01:57:05.000 I'm sure I should, but I'm not going to.

01:57:07.000 Oh no, I'm going.

01:57:08.000 But I'm saying you should.

01:57:09.000 Yeah, LA. I'm going to Ireland.

01:57:11.000 Yeah, April 2021. Yeah, I would go.

01:57:14.000 But I mean, I'm still doing a lot of shows, but I'm doing shows in LA too.

01:57:18.000 Like I'm at the Forum on November 1st. 0.99

01:57:21.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:57:22.000 It's a big boy too. 1.00

01:57:23.000 Yeah.

01:57:24.000 I'm still doing like the regular shows.

01:57:27.000 I'm assuming, you know, I'm assuming there won't be a second wave of Corona or some sort of crackdown.

01:57:32.000 You're going to be fine, man.

01:57:34.000 Yeah.

01:57:35.000 That's a brilliant idea, the residency in LA. Not a bad idea.

01:57:37.000 How come no one's ever done that?

01:57:39.000 I don't know.

01:57:40.000 They just do Vegas. 1.00

01:57:41.000 Vegas sucks cock. 1.00

01:57:42.000 Well, think about what I do at the improv and at the store, where I have these Joe Rogan and Friends shows. 1.00

01:57:47.000 And you do them all the time, every week, two, three times a week.

01:57:50.000 Yeah.

01:57:51.000 Think how many people that is.

01:57:52.000 Well, that's what I'm saying.

01:57:53.000 A lot of other guys aren't doing that either.

01:57:56.000 But you can do that.

01:57:58.000 You could.

01:57:58.000 Yeah, but that to me is the best way for me to stay sharp.

01:58:02.000 You're a different animal though.

01:58:03.000 I'm doing 45 minutes, an hour.

01:58:04.000 How many guys do you know at your level who are doing 45?

01:58:07.000 Most are just doing their 15 minute spot at the store, at the improv or factory.

01:58:11.000 You're a different animal.

01:58:12.000 You gotta do that though.

01:58:15.000 You have to.

01:58:16.000 Name one other guy, Joe, who's doing that.

01:58:18.000 I don't know.

01:58:19.000 Go.

01:58:19.000 I'll wait.

01:58:20.000 I'm not paying attention.

01:58:21.000 I am, but there's no one else that does that like you.

01:58:24.000 Well, I do it because I'm doing arenas.

01:58:27.000 You're doing an arena, man.

01:58:29.000 And I've only started doing arenas the last two years.

01:58:32.000 You've got to be sharp. 0.99

01:58:33.000 You can't be fucking around when there's 15,000 people who paid money to hear you talk. 0.99

01:58:37.000 Oh no, I get it. 0.99

01:58:39.000 I've worked harder this past year to ramp everything up than I ever have with stand-up.

01:58:45.000 Yeah, that's inspiring.

01:58:46.000 Makes me realize that you can get more out of it.

01:58:50.000 You can get more.

01:58:51.000 You can put more work in.

01:58:52.000 You get a little bit sharper.

01:58:53.000 More listening to sets.

01:58:54.000 More writing.

01:58:55.000 More thinking.

01:58:58.000 The thing is people expect you as a stand-up to drop off after a while.

01:59:03.000 That's what a lot of comics do. 0.83

01:59:04.000 Their material drops off.

01:59:05.000 They run out of things that are interesting.

01:59:07.000 Especially when they get famous.

01:59:09.000 That's the problem.

01:59:10.000 Because they don't relate to the average person.

01:59:11.000 Also, they don't take as many chances.

01:59:13.000 Nope. 0.99

01:59:13.000 They don't say as many fucked up things. 0.99

01:59:15.000 Because they're worried. 0.99

01:59:15.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:59:16.000 It's different, you know?

01:59:18.000 Yeah, you get it.

01:59:18.000 It is what it is, man.

01:59:20.000 You know, you're going to break a few eggs, but you're going to make a lot of omelets.

01:59:24.000 Hell yeah.

01:59:25.000 I just miss, in this whole corona thing, I think the thing I miss the most, besides going on the road, I miss it so bad, is just hanging out with, seeing everybody.

01:59:34.000 I know.

01:59:35.000 Hanging out at the store.

01:59:37.000 Yeah.

01:59:39.000 I mean, I text everybody, but it's just not the same, is it?

01:59:42.000 No, it's not.

01:59:43.000 Joey, I'd offer you this joint, but I know you don't want none.

01:59:45.000 Yeah, I'm good.

01:59:46.000 It'd get really weird if I... No, I'd start...

01:59:50.000 Yeah, Joey just calls, so I spend a lot of time talking to him.

01:59:54.000 Yeah.

01:59:55.000 But it's not the same.

01:59:57.000 It's not the same.

01:59:57.000 Going to the store, it's like, dude, the party when we get back.

02:00:02.000 What is that going to be like when we get back to the store and everyone's at the back bar and everyone's hanging out, everyone's doing shows again?

02:00:09.000 God, we're going to be so thankful.

02:00:11.000 Because it's never been taken away before.

02:00:13.000 In the history of comedy, there's never been a time where you couldn't perform.

02:00:16.000 Never.

02:00:17.000 Never.

02:00:18.000 I guess the only time with L.A. comics is when there's the strike, right?

02:00:23.000 Yeah, but you could do the road.

02:00:25.000 Yeah.

02:00:26.000 Not too many guys were doing it, though.

02:00:27.000 There's, like, Leno.

02:00:29.000 Doing the road back then?

02:00:30.000 Back then, a lot of those guys weren't big enough names.

02:00:33.000 That's interesting.

02:00:33.000 I wonder how many, like, comedy clubs were around back then.

02:00:36.000 Because that was in, what, the 70s or the 80s?

02:00:38.000 70s, right?

02:00:39.000 Late 70s?

02:00:39.000 Comedy store strike?

02:00:40.000 You had Leno.

02:00:41.000 Yeah.

02:00:42.000 Do you read that book, Dying Up Here?

02:00:44.000 No.

02:00:44.000 That's what the series was based off of?

02:00:46.000 Yeah.

02:00:47.000 But the series was real dark. 0.99

02:00:48.000 The book makes it seem like it was a fucking... 0.99

02:00:51.000 Like the store was fun, man. 0.99

02:00:52.000 Do you think the store was more fun then or more fun now?

02:00:55.000 You tell me, dude.

02:00:56.000 I don't know.

02:00:57.000 I don't know, though.

02:00:58.000 I don't know anything different.

02:00:59.000 I read those times.

02:01:00.000 I think back then it was like a lot of guys were doing stand-up to get TV shows or to get noticed.

02:01:06.000 And now you have a bunch...

02:01:08.000 Most of the top guys, all they want to do is be really good comics.

02:01:11.000 Well, you have freedom that way, and you don't have anybody telling you what to do, and you don't have to worry about so many different things that you have to worry about if you have a TV show.

02:01:20.000 TV shows, you have to worry about the other actors, the writing, the network, does it get picked up, does it this, does it that?

02:01:25.000 There's a lot of chefs in the kitchen.

02:01:26.000 There's so many things outside of your control.

02:01:29.000 And, you know, if you have a controversial act, a lot of times the networks don't want you to do stand-up.

02:01:35.000 Like, apparently they did that to Tim Allen when he had that home improvement show, they told him, stop doing stand-up.

02:01:40.000 Yeah, like, stop!

02:01:41.000 He's making so much money.

02:01:42.000 I think Bob Saget, too, when he was doing Full House, he didn't do any stand-up.

02:01:46.000 And you watch his stand-up, and you're surprised. 0.99

02:01:47.000 You're like, oh, damn. 1.00

02:01:48.000 He's a dirty boy. 1.00

02:01:49.000 Yeah, dirty. 1.00

02:01:50.000 Yeah, he's a dirty boy. 1.00

02:01:51.000 Danny Tanner's dirty. 0.99

02:01:52.000 I know, and you hear that, and you're like, what?

02:01:54.000 I know.

02:01:54.000 This is outrageous.

02:01:55.000 Yeah, there's a freedom to stand-up.

02:01:59.000 It's also like, I think more people appreciate it as an art form now.

02:02:04.000 Whereas back then it was like, it didn't get respect.

02:02:07.000 You got respect when you're on TV. Correct.

02:02:10.000 That's how you made your nut and that's how you got famous on TV. Yeah.

02:02:12.000 Or a movie.

02:02:13.000 You were doing movies.

02:02:15.000 Now once you say it's stand-up and podcasting.

02:02:17.000 Yeah.

02:02:18.000 Really?

02:02:19.000 Yeah.

02:02:19.000 Well, podcasting is, right now, It's emerging as a different beast.

02:02:25.000 See, before, people would joke about it.

02:02:27.000 They would go, what are you doing?

02:02:28.000 Howard Stern used to make fun of it.

02:02:30.000 Why not just yell out your window?

02:02:32.000 What are you doing?

02:02:33.000 But he was coming from, you've got to think, he's a pioneer in radio, in traditional radio, and he made his bones in radio, and he carved this path in radio, and then all of a sudden this thing comes along where anybody can do it.

02:02:45.000 It's a threat.

02:02:46.000 It's a little bit of a threat.

02:02:47.000 It's a little bit of that, but it's also...

02:02:49.000 See, in a way, I understand his perspective because in his day, when he made it, he had to compete against all these other killers.

02:02:58.000 So you've got all these other mourning guys all over the country.

02:03:01.000 And then when he goes and syndicates, he'll invade Chicago.

02:03:05.000 He's invading Los Angeles.

02:03:07.000 He's trying to take over.

02:03:08.000 Yeah, he's taking over.

02:03:09.000 But there was only a few slots, right?

02:03:12.000 So you couldn't listen to his show later.

02:03:15.000 You had to listen to it then.

02:03:16.000 So everyone's competing during these slots.

02:03:19.000 So you have this slot that is 6am to 9am.

02:03:22.000 That's drive time, baby.

02:03:24.000 Even now he doesn't know podcasts.

02:03:25.000 I remember I used to listen to Howard for a long time. 0.97

02:03:30.000 Maybe a year ago, they brought up something because he was shitting on podcasts.

02:03:34.000 And he goes, do podcasters even make money? 0.60

02:03:36.000 And one of the guys got on there.

02:03:37.000 I forget his crew's name.

02:03:39.000 I think Joe Rogan does.

02:03:40.000 He goes, I know, but not tons of money.

02:03:43.000 He's not set.

02:03:44.000 I want to call him like, hey, long-time listener, first-time caller.

02:03:49.000 Well...

02:03:50.000 Doesn't matter.

02:03:51.000 What matters?

02:03:51.000 I just thought it was weird.

02:03:52.000 Like, dude, you still don't give it respect? 0.98

02:03:55.000 Like, are you shitting me? 0.64

02:03:57.000 Who do you think he's hanging around with, though? 0.98

02:03:59.000 You know?

02:03:59.000 Like, his wife.

02:04:00.000 Yeah.

02:04:01.000 He's probably hanging around his wife, maybe a few other really rich friends that are probably famous.

02:04:05.000 I mean, I don't know how much... 0.99

02:04:06.000 But you gotta have your ear to the ground being a guy on radio all the fucking time. 0.97

02:04:09.000 He's so famous. 0.98

02:04:10.000 When people get so famous, it's almost impossible.

02:04:13.000 It's almost impossible to keep it together.

02:04:15.000 You know what bummed me out?

02:04:16.000 And again, I'm a huge Howard Stern fan.

02:04:18.000 I think you and...

02:04:18.000 I think maybe...

02:04:19.000 I forget who sent it to me, but I sent it to you.

02:04:22.000 When Howard Stern...

02:04:23.000 It released to his employees.

02:04:25.000 He has like a yearly meeting with his employees.

02:04:28.000 Someone recorded it.

02:04:30.000 Oh, yeah.

02:04:30.000 It makes you feel so sick.

02:04:32.000 Like, ah, fuck, dude. 1.00

02:04:35.000 Such a bummer. 1.00

02:04:36.000 You realize how Hollywood-y is? 1.00

02:04:38.000 You're all, aw, fuck, dude. 1.00

02:04:40.000 I think people get seduced by it, man. 1.00

02:04:44.000 I think they do.

02:04:45.000 They get seduced by the idea of, you know, first of all, You need friends.

02:04:52.000 You need really good friends that are like you, that are in your world. 0.97

02:04:56.000 And I think one of the things that separates us, all of us as comics, from the rest of Hollywood is like, God damn, we're glued to each other. 0.92

02:05:05.000 We're glued and we shit on each other and we laugh and we compliment each other and we love each other and we call each other and we tell each other we love each other. 0.99

02:05:12.000 100% full support. 0.98

02:05:13.000 It's different, man.

02:05:14.000 It's different.

02:05:15.000 We're a different thing.

02:05:16.000 But also, it's not a dog-eat-dog that you're just trying to help everybody.

02:05:20.000 Dude, when someone murders it, everybody's running out of that room telling everybody that murdered it.

02:05:24.000 When you see Bill Burr go on stage in the main room and crush it, you're coming out and saying it, and I'm coming out and saying it, and Callan's saying it, and we're all excited. 0.99

02:05:32.000 Like, God damn, that was awesome. 0.97

02:05:34.000 What a set. 1.00

02:05:34.000 Holy shit. 1.00

02:05:35.000 And we're telling people. 1.00

02:05:36.000 You see Burr crush it?

02:05:37.000 Oh my God, he crushed it.

02:05:38.000 You know, there's a love...

02:05:41.000 For the art and a love for each other and the camaraderie.

02:05:47.000 Like, the wanting people to be good.

02:05:50.000 You realize, like, it doesn't have to just be about you.

02:05:53.000 And they didn't...

02:05:55.000 I don't think they...

02:05:56.000 I think that's...

02:05:57.000 You know when we were talking about competition earlier?

02:05:59.000 We were talking about Jordan and Tyson and the crazy...

02:06:01.000 And football teams, yeah.

02:06:03.000 Like, that's Howard Stern when it comes to radio, man.

02:06:06.000 Yeah, you're right. 1.00

02:06:07.000 You gotta realize, like, that's the motherfucker that... 1.00

02:06:09.000 He fucked them all. 1.00

02:06:11.000 Fuck you. 1.00

02:06:12.000 Have you heard him apologize for it, the way he treated some people? 1.00

02:06:15.000 Yes.

02:06:16.000 I think one guy commits suicide and he's like, I felt bad for that.

02:06:20.000 Because he would go in and he was like, at that time, that's what I had to do.

02:06:24.000 Well, that's what he did, right?

02:06:25.000 Whether he had to do it or not, that's what he did.

02:06:27.000 It worked, though, didn't it?

02:06:28.000 Yeah, it did work.

02:06:29.000 And he felt like he had to do...

02:06:31.000 And look, he's also...

02:06:33.000 Everything you have to look into, you've got to look into it with perspective.

02:06:37.000 And in my head, what Howard Stern is always going to represent is the guy who paved the way.

02:06:45.000 Like, without him, you've got to realize there was nothing like Howard Stern before Howard Stern.

02:06:51.000 It didn't exist. 0.98

02:06:53.000 You had Don Imus, who's kind of risque, and then here comes this really tall, long-haired, rock-and-roll type dude who doesn't give a fuck and he just wants to have porn stars on and girls are riding vibrators and people are farting songs into microphones. 0.99

02:07:09.000 It's madness. 0.99

02:07:10.000 And he's getting sued by the government, man.

02:07:13.000 So the government, they're coming down with these huge judgments against the company that owns it.

02:07:18.000 And he keeps going.

02:07:20.000 And he keeps going.

02:07:22.000 Podcasts all are...

02:07:24.000 You know how Patrice used to say about other comics? 0.74

02:07:28.000 Like Dave Attell.

02:07:29.000 Dave Attell's got a lot of babies.

02:07:31.000 And what he meant is that there's a lot of other comics that would imitate Dave Attell.

02:07:36.000 They would do it just out of...

02:07:38.000 The fact that they were fans and they were insecure.

02:07:42.000 They're not plagiarists.

02:07:44.000 They just were not that good yet.

02:07:46.000 When I was a young man, I used to sound exactly like Richard Jenney.

02:07:50.000 Really?

02:07:50.000 I heard myself on stage when I had been doing an open...

02:07:53.000 I caught myself...

02:07:55.000 Doing like a bad Richard Jenny impression with my material when I was like 21 or something like that, 22. I was like, oh my god, I'm terrible.

02:08:04.000 Because I was such a Richard Jenny fan at the time that I was like mimicking him on stage.

02:08:08.000 Probably not on purpose.

02:08:10.000 A lot of comics do it, man.

02:08:11.000 We find ourselves doing it with different acts.

02:08:15.000 I'll find myself, it's not that I'm copying, I have a lot of mannerisms like Brian or D'Elia.

02:08:22.000 But you're around them all the time.

02:08:24.000 I'm molded by that.

02:08:25.000 So normal.

02:08:26.000 But then eventually you break out of it and you become your own thing.

02:08:32.000 We gotta all realize that what Howard Stern did before anybody Was he created this radio chaos.

02:08:45.000 He created this chaos. 0.99

02:08:47.000 We had these people, these whack packers, were out of their fucking minds. 1.00

02:08:52.000 And he would interview them and talk to all these nutty fucking people. 1.00

02:08:57.000 That was the first one. 0.99

02:09:00.000 And then remember he had celebrities on, but he wasn't like, oh, how's your movie? 0.99

02:09:03.000 He'd be like, who are you fucking? 0.98

02:09:04.000 And they'd be like, what? 1.00

02:09:06.000 And then they wouldn't answer it, but then he would circle back down somehow and get it out of them.

02:09:10.000 Dude, it was a different world back then.

02:09:11.000 The world was different.

02:09:13.000 And he made it possible for people to talk the way we talk.

02:09:17.000 And then Opie and Anthony were the next important phase.

02:09:20.000 Because with Opie and Anthony, we're a hang.

02:09:23.000 Whereas Howard is the man behind the switchboard, and Howard is in control of his universe.

02:09:29.000 With Opie and Anthony, people would just show up.

02:09:32.000 Like, I'd be on the air and it would be like four or five other comics there.

02:09:37.000 And we would love it.

02:09:39.000 Jim Norton was on there all the time, right?

02:09:41.000 All the time.

02:09:41.000 Jim was a regular.

02:09:42.000 He's so talented.

02:09:43.000 He's one of the more unique comics ever.

02:09:46.000 He's a very interesting guy.

02:09:47.000 I love Jim.

02:09:48.000 His love of transsexuals and the way he talks.

02:09:52.000 He's just so honest and raw.

02:09:56.000 But what Opie and Anthony were, were the first loose hang.

02:10:00.000 You know, it's like Anthony would kind of be orchestrating it a little bit, keeping an eye on everything, making sure it didn't get out of hand.

02:10:07.000 And then Anthony is this very...

02:10:11.000 He's a guy who grew up doing construction, and that's literally how he got into radio, but is also very intelligent, very inquisitive. 0.92

02:10:20.000 So he's got a regular guy sensibility, but he's also very fucking smart.

02:10:24.000 And then you would have all these comics. 0.79

02:10:27.000 And then Norton, who's a great comic himself, would be there, and he'd be Colin Quinn, and Bill Burr, and me, and Shafir, and all this madness, man.

02:10:36.000 There's nothing like that really now.

02:10:38.000 Not on radio.

02:10:39.000 Not on radio.

02:10:40.000 But that's what made podcasts become what they are.

02:10:44.000 Because those guys let comics just hang out and talk.

02:10:47.000 No one had ever let comics just hang out and run the show before Opie and Anthony.

02:10:52.000 So the big steps to podcasting were Howard Stern is the most important.

02:10:55.000 And then after Howard Stern, these are Howard Stern's babies.

02:10:59.000 Howard Stern's babies are like Opie and Anthony were Howard Stern's babies.

02:11:01.000 But they became their own thing.

02:11:03.000 Just like a comic would imitate Dave Attell when he's a young guy.

02:11:07.000 Yep.

02:11:08.000 And then as he gets older, he finds his own speed.

02:11:10.000 And there's a lot of comics right now that are top-level guys that I bet if you watched them 10, 15 years ago, they would sound a lot like someone else.

02:11:19.000 And then Opie and Anthony open up the door to podcasting.

02:11:23.000 They made comics where they could just hang.

02:11:25.000 And then everyone's got their own style.

02:11:27.000 Ron Funchess has his own style.

02:11:29.000 Eric Griffin has his own style.

02:11:31.000 You and Brian have your own style.

02:11:33.000 Theo's got his completely unique style.

02:11:36.000 All of us have these different things.

02:11:38.000 Segura's got his style.

02:11:39.000 Kristina Pazitsky and him together have their style.

02:11:42.000 Segura and Kreischer.

02:11:43.000 Kreischer's got his style.

02:11:44.000 Ari's got his style. 1.00

02:11:45.000 Burt and Burr.

02:11:46.000 Yes, Burt and Burr.

02:11:48.000 They have a great podcast too, but it's just like the world is more bountiful than it was back then.

02:11:54.000 It's not like Burt and Burr are competing against Burt. 0.97

02:11:59.000 What if Burt's show Was run by one production company, but Burt and Burr were run by a different, and they're both going to be at noon, and you have to listen to one or the other, and Burt and Burr are in this fucking argument. 1.00

02:12:11.000 You traitor! 0.99

02:12:13.000 It was us together! 1.00

02:12:15.000 Fuck you! 1.00

02:12:16.000 Now they're going to take us out at noon! 1.00

02:12:19.000 That was what they had to deal with.

02:12:21.000 It was a totally different dynamic.

02:12:23.000 Now it's like we were trapped in these tunnels.

02:12:28.000 Fighting for air and pop!

02:12:30.000 And we got to the top of the tunnel and there's all the air you want.

02:12:33.000 It's free air.

02:12:35.000 Free air!

02:12:35.000 You can just put up a podcast.

02:12:37.000 Put up a video.

02:12:38.000 Make a video.

02:12:40.000 Make a sketch.

02:12:41.000 Do your own sketch.

02:12:42.000 Do whatever you want.

02:12:43.000 And then it might get seen by a million people. 0.99

02:12:45.000 Like that fucking coronavirus song that I reposted on my Instagram. 0.99

02:12:50.000 Those dudes are hilarious. 0.99

02:12:52.000 How many millions of views did that get?

02:12:54.000 Millions and millions of views.

02:12:56.000 So these guys...

02:12:58.000 They create this coronavirus song.

02:13:00.000 It's on my Instagram.

02:13:01.000 Who are the gentlemen?

02:13:03.000 I got a couple people saying that they've also created the song first or whatever, so I don't know who did that.

02:13:12.000 Whoever did it, I hope nobody got robbed, but whoever did it, those dudes were hilarious and it got millions and millions of views.

02:13:20.000 There's nothing from 20 years ago, 30 years ago, where a regular guy could do something and by itself would get millions and millions of views.

02:13:28.000 But today, if you see some shit that's really funny and you send it to me and I send it to Jamie and it just starts going, that's what happens.

02:13:36.000 It goes through people, these dudes. 0.97

02:13:38.000 I haven't seen that.

02:13:38.000 4,685,644 views on my Instagram alone.

02:13:44.000 Can we play it or no?

02:13:46.000 No.

02:13:46.000 I haven't heard it.

02:13:46.000 I'm sure it's their song.

02:13:48.000 Can you see that bottle gel?

02:13:49.000 Yeah, it's Reggie, Reggie Bay B2 and somehow or another.

02:13:54.000 He's got, he's doing so well that he's got fake Instagram sites where people pretend they're him. 0.99

02:14:00.000 But all of his shit is funny. 0.99

02:14:02.000 All of his shit is just, they're doing sketches. 1.00

02:14:05.000 So these are Chicago based guys. 0.99

02:14:07.000 It's just funny dudes in Chicago that are hustling and are constantly making content.

02:14:13.000 Constantly.

02:14:13.000 They have new videos up all the time.

02:14:15.000 And who else is on him?

02:14:16.000 His Instagram?

02:14:18.000 That video?

02:14:19.000 Just go to it so we can see it.

02:14:22.000 The other guys.

02:14:23.000 The other one is Stix, S-T-I-X underscore 808, and then Funny Man Gaitlin, G-A-I-T-L-I-N, and then Laid3.

02:14:35.000 Those are the dudes who did it.

02:14:36.000 And then Vinnie Pazienza, Boxcutter Pazzy, who has been on the podcast before.

02:14:42.000 I found it on his Instagram, so I reposted his.

02:14:46.000 But imagine that.

02:14:49.000 30 years ago, where one dude could make something and it could go to something like Instagram, where in this case three or four dudes could do it, and it could go to something like Instagram, and then all of a sudden millions of people are singing it and laughing.

02:15:00.000 And it's hilarious.

02:15:01.000 Oh, but even think with Burt and Burr, if they're like, okay, we want to do a show.

02:15:05.000 Think of the 80s or 90s, you'd have to pitch it to a network, have them approve it, then they bring in writers.

02:15:11.000 You're looking at how long would that take to evolve into a legit show?

02:15:15.000 They get greenlit, then get a pilot, then test well.

02:15:18.000 Yeah, no chance. 0.99

02:15:19.000 Yeah, and also people would start fucking with it. 0.98

02:15:22.000 They would come in, Burr, I want you to dress different. 0.99

02:15:24.000 I want you to dress like Sinatra.

02:15:28.000 I see people taking you more seriously if you're wearing a suit.

02:15:31.000 You're cussing too much, Burr.

02:15:32.000 Can you tone it down?

02:15:33.000 You seem aggressive. 0.90

02:15:34.000 Imagine if I went to a production company and said, yeah, what I want to do is smoke weed and talk a lot of shit and say things I don't really mean, but I think it's funny at the time, and then I regret it, and I'm going to drink a lot. 0.89

02:15:46.000 Oh, and then we're going to air the fight. 0.99

02:15:47.000 I'm going to have my three dumbass friends come. 0.99

02:15:49.000 One of them thinks the world's flat. 1.00

02:15:51.000 And we're going to smoke weed, and we're going to talk shit. 0.99

02:15:54.000 But also, I'm going to have presidential candidates. 0.99

02:15:58.000 And really serious people.

02:15:59.000 Pitch that show.

02:15:59.000 And scientists.

02:16:00.000 And me, a guy with brain damage.

02:16:02.000 I'm going to debate important topics to them.

02:16:05.000 I'm going to have politicians on, too.

02:16:07.000 Oh, I have politicians on.

02:16:09.000 Yeah, athletes.

02:16:10.000 Authors.

02:16:10.000 Yeah, everybody.

02:16:12.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

02:16:14.000 Get the fuck out of this office. 1.00

02:16:15.000 Idiot. 1.00

02:16:15.000 When Brian and I were at Fox, they wanted to make it a TV show, like a legit TV show. 1.00

02:16:20.000 I remember that mess.

02:16:21.000 Dude, I remember when they were telling you to not curse.

02:16:23.000 Yes.

02:16:23.000 And I was like, get out now!

02:16:25.000 I remember yelling at you.

02:16:26.000 They're like vampires. 0.93

02:16:27.000 They're trying to bite you. 0.99

02:16:28.000 They're trying to turn you.

02:16:30.000 I remember me and Brian in that meeting.

02:16:32.000 Not cuss.

02:16:32.000 And I was like, this is, what?

02:16:34.000 But meanwhile, they liked you because of who you were before they came along.

02:16:37.000 And before they came along, you were cussing.

02:16:38.000 And then they wanted to do a sport.

02:16:39.000 They didn't know what to do with us.

02:16:40.000 They wanted to do a sports show with us.

02:16:42.000 Then they brought me in and go...

02:16:45.000 They go, so we know it's the final kid.

02:16:48.000 What if we replace Brian Cowen with Michael Rapaport?

02:16:52.000 No.

02:16:53.000 They want to get rid of Brian.

02:16:55.000 Wow.

02:16:56.000 Is it because he's old?

02:16:58.000 Is it because of his haircut? 1.00

02:16:59.000 Is it because he's old and he just talks shit? 1.00

02:17:01.000 Is it the way he dresses? 1.00

02:17:03.000 Because I can fix that.

02:17:05.000 That's crazy. 1.00

02:17:06.000 What a bunch of dummies. 1.00

02:17:07.000 They're like, this is great. 1.00

02:17:09.000 Let's fuck it up. 0.97

02:17:10.000 And this thing that I really like, let's ruin it. 0.88

02:17:13.000 But then they're like, wait, they're making how much money?

02:17:15.000 And we signed...

02:17:16.000 No, no, no, no.

02:17:16.000 So they went, hey, next year, the deal's up in December.

02:17:20.000 We need half.

02:17:21.000 And I went, oh, that's not happening.

02:17:23.000 They went, all right, well, December's your last month, and I think we're in October.

02:17:26.000 I go, that's fine.

02:17:28.000 We're just going to go do our own thing and take all the money.

02:17:29.000 They went, okay.

02:17:30.000 And I'll never forget this.

02:17:32.000 He goes, I don't want to hear about this on your podcast.

02:17:34.000 Just right out December.

02:17:35.000 And I went, well, I can't do that, dude.

02:17:37.000 I go, let the listener know I'm leaving.

02:17:38.000 He goes, don't do that.

02:17:39.000 And I went, all right, cool.

02:17:41.000 Next day, I go on the podcast. 0.99

02:17:42.000 So in December, our contract's up because I want half our shit. 0.98

02:17:45.000 I tried going back the next day, and there's security out front. 0.97

02:17:48.000 They wouldn't let me in.

02:17:49.000 Really?

02:17:49.000 That was my last day at Fox.

02:17:50.000 Really?

02:17:51.000 Yep.

02:17:53.000 Then we just started doing it randomly, man.

02:17:56.000 Well, that's a real clear changing of the guard.

02:18:01.000 Where that old school mentality, they think that they own the talent.

02:18:04.000 They think they owned you.

02:18:05.000 The idea that they think they should have 50% just by...

02:18:08.000 How funny is that?

02:18:08.000 But what are you doing?

02:18:09.000 What are you doing?

02:18:10.000 The guy gets...

02:18:10.000 I'll never forget.

02:18:11.000 This guy gets in my face.

02:18:12.000 It's a podcast.

02:18:12.000 The guy gets in my face.

02:18:14.000 I don't want to say his name.

02:18:15.000 He goes, just how you have your black belt in fighting, I have my black belt in entertainment team.

02:18:20.000 Ha ha ha!

02:18:25.000 Isn't that great?

02:18:26.000 Oh my god!

02:18:27.000 I would fall on the ground and start curling up in a fetal position laughing if someone said that to me.

02:18:32.000 I was like, I have no idea what you're referring to.

02:18:34.000 What does that mean?

02:18:35.000 I'm going to leave now.

02:18:35.000 You know how to rob people out of the percentage that they really deserve?

02:18:38.000 What are you bringing to the table?

02:18:40.000 You're putting it on the internet now.

02:18:40.000 That's why I told them.

02:18:41.000 I went, if you can show me why you guys deserve 50%, I'll give you 50. Go.

02:18:46.000 He goes, well, it's our studio.

02:18:48.000 Fox gives you the platform.

02:18:50.000 No, no, no, no, no.

02:18:51.000 Hold up.

02:18:51.000 We had a platform before we even got here.

02:18:53.000 I can do this up the street and we can get more views, dude.

02:18:56.000 Now, why would you get 50%?

02:18:58.000 He's like, I don't know, man.

02:18:59.000 There's no reason.

02:19:00.000 I had a guy not that long ago ask for 50% of my podcast to be a part of a network.

02:19:05.000 Not that long ago.

02:19:06.000 Four years ago, maybe.

02:19:09.000 And I was like, what are you talking about?

02:19:11.000 50%.

02:19:12.000 Well, even now, certain comics want to start podcasts, go, hey, this network podcast came to me, they want 50%, but they're going to give me a studio.

02:19:19.000 I went, no, no, stop, stop.

02:19:21.000 Don't do that.

02:19:21.000 Do it yourself.

02:19:22.000 That's a weird number.

02:19:24.000 You're pretending that they couldn't do it without you if you want 50%.

02:19:28.000 50% is like if you and me, right?

02:19:31.000 If it's the Brendan and Joe show, well, it kind of has to be 50% because it's both of us, right?

02:19:36.000 So it's like there's two of us.

02:19:38.000 Yes.

02:19:38.000 So you're part of the show.

02:19:39.000 I'm part of the show.

02:19:41.000 We need each other.

02:19:42.000 We're together.

02:19:43.000 It should be 50%. 0.95

02:19:44.000 That makes sense.

02:19:44.000 We're friends.

02:19:45.000 It should be 50%. 0.95

02:19:46.000 But we could do it with Tom, the producer.

02:19:49.000 Or we could do it with Steve, the network executive.

02:19:53.000 You guys don't matter.

02:19:54.000 So you can't have 50%.

02:19:55.000 Maybe you definitely deserve something.

02:19:58.000 50?

02:19:59.000 But 50 is crazy.

02:20:00.000 It's insane.

02:20:00.000 That's a crazy number.

02:20:02.000 That means you're saying I couldn't do it without you.

02:20:04.000 That doesn't make any sense.

02:20:07.000 But that's what they used to do with TV shows.

02:20:09.000 You've got to realize, if you're thinking about Hawaii Five-0, the production company has a deal with the network, and they put it together, and everybody gets paid.

02:20:18.000 And the people that are putting it on television have a giant chunk of that.

02:20:24.000 That's the studio executives, the network executives. 0.99

02:20:27.000 You go to their houses, they're big fucking parties. 0.99

02:20:29.000 Dude, I'd go to some of their houses, man. 0.99

02:20:31.000 They'd have parties, and you'd be like, why?

02:20:33.000 These guys are balling.

02:20:35.000 But what are they doing?

02:20:36.000 What are they doing?

02:20:37.000 They're taking your stuff and they're the critical mechanism that is necessary to get you on television.

02:20:45.000 Well, now the world is television. 0.98

02:20:47.000 Our heads are through the fucking holes and now we're looking out at this open air. 0.99

02:20:51.000 There's no need for someone to take 50% anymore. 1.00

02:20:54.000 No, people don't give a fuck if it's on Fox, HBO. But that's how they always operated. 0.96

02:20:58.000 And those fans, those subscribers of whatever network, they're going to follow me if I'm here, if I'm here, if I'm here.

02:21:05.000 They don't get it, though.

02:21:06.000 These guys went through the Fox system.

02:21:09.000 People went through the ABC system.

02:21:11.000 They went through the CBS system.

02:21:12.000 And if they were in that system 20 years ago, this was the system.

02:21:16.000 The system is you make deals, you put together shows, you're getting it on the air.

02:21:21.000 You're very valuable.

02:21:23.000 It's a very important thing.

02:21:26.000 If you got on CBS back in 2000, it was a very important thing.

02:21:31.000 So it made sense.

02:21:32.000 The deal made sense.

02:21:33.000 But it doesn't make sense on the internet.

02:21:35.000 The internet is everybody's.

02:21:37.000 It's like everybody has a CBS. Like these gentlemen who made that video on the coronavirus, they...

02:21:44.000 They don't have a network.

02:21:46.000 They don't need it.

02:21:47.000 They don't need it.

02:21:48.000 All it has to do is get to one of these social media sites.

02:21:51.000 But also, if it's good, people are going to find you.

02:21:54.000 I believe this was the original song maker.

02:21:57.000 He has to be tagging their video.

02:21:59.000 They made a video, I believe, of his song.

02:22:00.000 Oh, okay.

02:22:02.000 This is G-M-A-C-Cash.

02:22:05.000 G-M-A-C-Cash. 0.93

02:22:07.000 And he's Detroit's finest.

02:22:08.000 So he made the original song for sure?

02:22:11.000 I believe so, yes.

02:22:12.000 Okay.

02:22:13.000 Once again, that's G-M-A... I'm going to follow him right now so you hear it. 1.00

02:22:16.000 Great avatar pic, by the way.

02:22:18.000 Yeah.

02:22:18.000 Full body.

02:22:19.000 I don't see a lot of that.

02:22:20.000 What's up with the avatars?

02:22:21.000 I don't know.

02:22:22.000 How do you decide?

02:22:23.000 A lot of times when they text someone, all of a sudden they send you back, would you like to update your contact picture?

02:22:28.000 Oh, I know.

02:22:29.000 Some weird avatar?

02:22:31.000 What is that?

02:22:32.000 What's happening here?

02:22:32.000 Why are people losing their mind?

02:22:34.000 Why are you sending me a picture of you?

02:22:36.000 Yeah, I don't need a picture of you, man.

02:22:38.000 G-Mac Cash.

02:22:40.000 Did you find him?

02:22:41.000 Yeah, I got him.

02:22:42.000 Pow.

02:22:43.000 Follow back.

02:22:43.000 74,000 followers.

02:22:45.000 Yeah, right now he has 74,000.

02:22:47.000 Let's blow him up.

02:22:48.000 Oh, he has a video, his own video of that song?

02:22:50.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:22:51.000 And it only has one fucking comment? 0.99

02:22:54.000 It's the same song? 1.00

02:22:55.000 This is him?

02:22:56.000 Sorry.

02:22:56.000 I can't hear it.

02:23:00.000 What's happening?

02:23:01.000 You have no sound?

02:23:02.000 I don't know what's going on.

02:23:03.000 Looks like he's saying the same words.

02:23:05.000 Oh, I have it in my phone.

02:23:06.000 He's the original.

02:23:08.000 That's it.

02:23:10.000 That's the song.

02:23:11.000 Okay, so.

02:23:12.000 He's the original.

02:23:13.000 He's the guy who made the song.

02:23:14.000 And then those other boys took it and just blew it up.

02:23:16.000 They had a great dance routine, though.

02:23:18.000 They did something to it.

02:23:19.000 They added a little flavor.

02:23:20.000 They had a great video.

02:23:21.000 They jumped around spraying Lysol and dancing.

02:23:23.000 Some be set for that.

02:23:24.000 Dudes are doing backflips. 0.64

02:23:25.000 Some be set for backflips.

02:23:26.000 Oh, they did something.

02:23:27.000 Yeah, it's good. 1.00

02:23:29.000 But they do a bunch of shit. 1.00

02:23:30.000 This is their coronavirus video. 1.00

02:23:32.000 They're just running around spraying it.

02:23:34.000 Great shoes.

02:23:35.000 Yeah.

02:23:36.000 But, you know, this is one of those things that happens sometimes. 0.99

02:23:38.000 Like, you don't know who the fuck made a video. 0.99

02:23:40.000 Someone sends it to you. 0.99

02:23:41.000 You don't know who made a song.

02:23:42.000 Someone sends it to you.

02:23:43.000 You add it on things.

02:23:44.000 The video's hilarious.

02:23:45.000 It's fun, though.

02:23:46.000 Did you see this?

02:23:46.000 I meant with that.

02:23:48.000 That's like what's going on with TikTok.

02:23:49.000 Someone makes a great video and then everyone else kind of jumps on that trend, taking that sound.

02:23:55.000 There was a video I saw just yesterday or two days ago about the government telling all government employees not have TikTok on their government-issued cell phones.

02:24:03.000 Why?

02:24:04.000 Because it's an issue.

02:24:06.000 Well, they think it's a security issue.

02:24:08.000 It's a Chinese company.

02:24:09.000 TikTok?

02:24:09.000 Yeah, and someone made some really grandiose statement like TikTok is like a government operative application or something like that.

02:24:18.000 Never know. 0.98

02:24:19.000 Yeah, that it's like some sort of fucking espionage tool. 0.99

02:24:22.000 Dude, you read that Charles Manson book? 0.99

02:24:25.000 I'm telling you, man, you're like...

02:24:27.000 I know.

02:24:28.000 That's what got me into conspiracy theories.

02:24:30.000 The U.S. Army has banned TikTok from use on government phones, reversing its policy on the entertainment app, which it recently used as a recruiting tool.

02:24:37.000 Wow. 0.99

02:24:39.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00

02:24:41.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:24:42.000 The Army used TikTok? 1.00

02:24:43.000 They were doing, like, army dances and shit? 0.96

02:24:45.000 They have their own video game to recruit people. 0.98

02:24:47.000 Yeah, I know.

02:24:48.000 The Army does?

02:24:48.000 They had a reality show that a buddy of mine was filming.

02:24:51.000 Oh, sick.

02:24:51.000 Yeah.

02:24:53.000 But there was also another company that was saying that it was dangerous.

02:24:58.000 You know, Google did something like that recently.

02:25:01.000 Here it goes.

02:25:02.000 TikTok banned.

02:25:03.000 This is the newer one.

02:25:04.000 Senators want to ban TikTok from government phones.

02:25:10.000 TikTok's for younger kids, right?

02:25:11.000 I'm not on there.

02:25:12.000 Not anymore.

02:25:13.000 Well, a lot of people are on it now.

02:25:15.000 But the point is, if you have an app like that, and say some shady person makes that app, who knows if that app's turned on the microphone just listening to you all the time.

02:25:25.000 Dude, there's so many times where you'll talk about something, and then you see that thing you talked about mentioned in your Google Ads, and you're like, what?

02:25:34.000 What the hell, man?

02:25:36.000 Dude, if we'll talk about Porsches or those knives, fans will send me screenshots of like, dude, I was listening to your podcast, then I went to go search the web, and I got this ad. 0.89

02:25:46.000 It's like a Porsche or the knives or the whiskey.

02:25:49.000 Yeah, it's crazy, man.

02:25:51.000 Just way too much influence on us.

02:25:54.000 We have to take back our personal sovereignty, our mental sovereignty.

02:25:58.000 There's so many influences on us all the time.

02:26:01.000 And there's nothing wrong with them sometimes.

02:26:03.000 Like advertising, there's nothing wrong with advertising sometimes.

02:26:06.000 But sometimes it makes you think, like, man, how much is this changing the way I look at stuff?

02:26:11.000 I think what's scary is how the most disciplined people I know who are addicted to their phones.

02:26:16.000 Like, man, it's more addicting than any drug, any alcohol, any, I mean, the cell phone. 1.00

02:26:22.000 The most disciplined people I know, I'll see them on their cell phones like, fuck, damn. 1.00

02:26:26.000 I know. 1.00

02:26:27.000 It's so disappointing.

02:26:28.000 Guilty as charged.

02:26:29.000 Me too.

02:26:30.000 Yeah, I have an addict folder on my phone where my Twitter, my Instagram, and my Instagram repost thing is all in one folder.

02:26:38.000 It says ADDICT in all capital letters.

02:26:41.000 And you still go to it, right?

02:26:42.000 You still click on it.

02:26:43.000 Once a day at least.

02:26:44.000 Way better than I used to be.

02:26:45.000 But still, every now and then.

02:26:47.000 But sometimes it's also, the problem is too, there's a mixture of business stuff that I have to do.

02:26:54.000 Like I get emails and I have to respond to important things.

02:26:57.000 But then while I'm on the phone, I'm like, hmm, let's see what's on YouTube.

02:27:01.000 Me too.

02:27:01.000 Let's see what silly videos there are.

02:27:03.000 Or I'll be like, what UFC news is there?

02:27:04.000 I'll click on Twitter, and that's where I get all my news. 1.00

02:27:07.000 I click on it, and I'm like, fuck. 1.00

02:27:09.000 And then you have a thought, and you Google that thought, and then you go down a rabbit hole, and you're like, motherfucker. 1.00

02:27:14.000 And then someone will send me something cool, and I'll click on that. 1.00

02:27:17.000 I'm like, god damn. 0.97

02:27:19.000 There's so much content. 0.98

02:27:22.000 Right now, there's never been a time where there's...

02:27:24.000 Think about what a better time it is, entertainment-wise, to be quarantined. 0.99

02:27:28.000 I'll think if we were quarantined in the 90s, we'd be fucked. 1.00

02:27:31.000 Oh my god, you'd be fucked. 1.00

02:27:33.000 What are you going to watch? 1.00

02:27:34.000 Back in those blockbuster days.

02:27:36.000 You can't go to the blockbusters is closed.

02:27:38.000 I think you can do.

02:27:39.000 You know, I was having a conversation with my wife about this last night and she's like, I think theaters are done.

02:27:46.000 I brought it up to him just before this.

02:27:48.000 Small potential, because there are lots of different companies that could do it.

02:27:51.000 They could maybe open up to maybe 50 people and you're just separated by two chairs or something like that.

02:27:56.000 How dare you?

02:27:56.000 A movie theater, you mean?

02:27:58.000 Yeah, I think they think movie theaters are done, too, in that Apple TV has opened up the door during this quarantine to get new movies.

02:28:08.000 Well, Trolls hits Friday. 0.99

02:28:09.000 My son's crunk as fuck for it. 0.98

02:28:14.000 But they had a bunch of new movies that were supposed to come out in the movie theater. 0.99

02:28:19.000 James Bond got pushed back to November.

02:28:21.000 I don't think they should push him back.

02:28:23.000 I think that's a mistake. 0.99

02:28:24.000 I think they should release those bitches. 1.00

02:28:25.000 They make all their money in theaters, though. 1.00

02:28:27.000 Listen, but still, everyone is watching now.

02:28:30.000 Everyone.

02:28:31.000 If they come out with a badass James Bond film...

02:28:33.000 We'd be all over it. 1.00

02:28:34.000 And everybody texts their friend, dude, this fucking new James Bond movie is this shit. 1.00

02:28:38.000 Daniel Craig better be James Bond. 1.00

02:28:39.000 Is he James Bond?

02:28:40.000 He is.

02:28:40.000 And I think he has the new DB11 in it.

02:28:43.000 Listen, if you're going to have a female James Bond or whatever nonsense you're going to do next... 0.99

02:28:46.000 Get the fuck out of my face. 0.98

02:28:47.000 Please make a 009 or 008 or something like that. 1.00

02:28:50.000 I think 007, son.

02:28:52.000 Daniel Craig is the greatest James Bond of all time.

02:28:54.000 Better than Sean Connery?

02:28:55.000 He's the best.

02:28:56.000 How dare you.

02:28:56.000 100%.

02:28:56.000 All of them can eat shit.

02:28:58.000 All of them. 1.00

02:28:59.000 They can all eat shit. 1.00

02:29:00.000 Roger Moore can eat shit. 1.00

02:29:01.000 No disrespect, sir. 1.00

02:29:03.000 Sean Connery is bad.

02:29:04.000 Daniel Craig is the only one I believe. 0.99

02:29:05.000 I don't believe he's really kicking anybody's ass. 0.99

02:29:07.000 I believe Daniel Craig is fucking people up. 1.00

02:29:09.000 I believe he's shooting people. 0.99

02:29:11.000 He's the only one I believe. 0.74

02:29:12.000 The only one.

02:29:12.000 That means a lot.

02:29:13.000 Pierce Brosnan!

02:29:14.000 How dare you! 0.99

02:29:16.000 Wonderful man.

02:29:17.000 That's right.

02:29:18.000 He was GoldenEye!

02:29:19.000 The greatest game of all time.

02:29:21.000 I don't believe him.

02:29:23.000 He's an amazing actor.

02:29:25.000 He's a beautiful man. 0.99

02:29:26.000 I don't believe him as a murderous English fucking spy character. 1.00

02:29:31.000 I believe Daniel Craig fucks people up. 1.00

02:29:34.000 Come on, son. 0.93

02:29:35.000 The guy on the right is the real deal.

02:29:37.000 He's got a face that looks like he's been punched 150 times.

02:29:40.000 Right?

02:29:41.000 He's a man's man.

02:29:42.000 Oh, dude.

02:29:43.000 The original far left?

02:29:44.000 Come on, son.

02:29:45.000 Son! 1.00

02:29:45.000 Eat some shit! 1.00

02:29:47.000 All of them! 1.00

02:29:48.000 Eat it!

02:29:49.000 Eat it! 1.00

02:29:50.000 There's one guy, Daniel Craig, thinking I'll eat shit. 1.00

02:29:53.000 That's number one. 0.99

02:29:53.000 Idris Elba was going to be Bond. 0.99

02:29:55.000 I'll buy that.

02:29:56.000 I'd buy that.

02:29:57.000 Really?

02:29:57.000 I don't care if Bond's black.

02:29:59.000 But he has to be a bad motherfucker, and Idris Elba's a legitimate bad motherfucker. 1.00

02:30:04.000 I'm in. 1.00

02:30:04.000 Have you ever heard, who's the guy who does the Trevor Noah's bit on Black James Bond? 1.00

02:30:09.000 No. 0.73

02:30:10.000 It's so fucking funny. 0.83

02:30:12.000 Why don't they have it? 0.95

02:30:13.000 I mean, look.

02:30:14.000 Trevor Noah talks about it.

02:30:15.000 It's fine.

02:30:15.000 He's like, where's he gonna hide?

02:30:18.000 He has a whole bit. 0.95

02:30:19.000 It's so fucking good. 0.95

02:30:20.000 That's funny. 0.99

02:30:20.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:30:21.000 Daniel Craig is right now, as of right now, he's the best ever.

02:30:25.000 He's the only one I believe.

02:30:26.000 But I believe if they had a similar movie with Idris Elba, I'd believe that too.

02:30:29.000 I'd buy that.

02:30:30.000 That guy's had a legit Muay Thai fight.

02:30:32.000 As a professional actor and a movie star, he had a legit Muay Thai fight.

02:30:36.000 Yeah.

02:30:36.000 I mean, the guy was paid off to take a fall.

02:30:38.000 But, you know, I hear you.

02:30:39.000 I like...

02:30:39.000 Yeah, that's the rumor.

02:30:41.000 Really?

02:30:41.000 Is that the rumor?

02:30:42.000 That's the rumor.

02:30:42.000 Well, that's what I would say.

02:30:43.000 I think the opponent came out and was like, you know, they paid me to take a fall, right? 0.99

02:30:46.000 But if that beautiful man beat my ass, I'd probably say that, too. 0.99

02:30:49.000 Me, too. 1.00

02:30:49.000 See, Idris Elba. 1.00

02:30:50.000 Looks so good in movies.

02:30:51.000 He's so charming.

02:30:52.000 I know. 1.00

02:30:52.000 That guy kicks your ass, too. 1.00

02:30:54.000 It's embarrassing. 1.00

02:30:54.000 You might have to tell people you took a fall. 1.00

02:30:56.000 Dude, I don't believe you.

02:30:57.000 You took a fall?

02:30:58.000 First of all, if you say you took a fall...

02:31:01.000 You might be even telling the truth, but you're the type of person that's willing to take a fall.

02:31:04.000 So I can never believe you. 1.00

02:31:06.000 Yeah, I know you're a scumbag. 1.00

02:31:06.000 There's not that many people. 1.00

02:31:07.000 I agree.

02:31:07.000 There's people like Anthony Smith that won't win the world title versus Jon Jones by disqualification because they have character.

02:31:16.000 And then there's people who take dives.

02:31:18.000 So if you're the type of people who takes a dive, how am I going to believe you anyway? 1.00

02:31:21.000 You're a piece of shit. 1.00

02:31:22.000 How am I going to believe you anyway? 1.00

02:31:23.000 I think Idris Elba fucked you up. 1.00

02:31:25.000 Probably. 0.99

02:31:26.000 I think Scar fucked you up. 0.99

02:31:27.000 I think 008 fucked you up. 0.98

02:31:29.000 008? 0.99

02:31:29.000 That'd be sick. 0.99

02:31:30.000 I think he fucked you up and you don't like it. 0.99

02:31:33.000 Dude, I don't think movie theaters are going to be dead because I think everyone likes the experience of leaving the house. 0.99

02:31:39.000 Right, but they liked Blockbuster, too.

02:31:41.000 It was great.

02:31:41.000 You get to go out of the house.

02:31:43.000 You pick whatever you want.

02:31:44.000 You do a little flirty.

02:31:46.000 You know that you're not really going to watch the movie because you plan on deep-dicking, right?

02:31:50.000 Get those red vines. 1.00

02:31:51.000 So you'll let them pick some stupid movie that you're never going to watch. 1.00

02:31:55.000 Some Reese Witherspoon, Legally Blonde, too. 1.00

02:31:58.000 Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:31:59.000 The dog's so cute.

02:32:01.000 Come on.

02:32:01.000 Let's get out of here.

02:32:04.000 You're thinking of the mauling you're going to do. 0.83

02:32:08.000 I'll never forget my mom so wild.

02:32:10.000 I'll never forget when we get to the front and be like, you have late fees of $275.

02:32:16.000 Oh my god, late fees were brutal.

02:32:17.000 Oh, my mom would be like, can we just, listen, let's just do this and then we'll be back next week and I will pay it. 0.53

02:32:22.000 And she would never pay it.

02:32:23.000 Late fees were brutal.

02:32:25.000 Brutal.

02:32:26.000 Very brutal. 1.00

02:32:26.000 Why don't we just keep the fucking movie? 1.00

02:32:28.000 You know what else is brutal? 1.00

02:32:29.000 Those little mom and pop little fucking ones that had the porno section they had to kick open like the outdoor Josie Wales. 1.00

02:32:36.000 Yeah, they had the curtains. 1.00

02:32:38.000 You know the outlaw Josie Wales when they always kick open those saloon doors? 1.00

02:32:43.000 Yes.

02:32:44.000 That's Joey Diaz's famous, one of those biggest references.

02:32:48.000 He's always talking about kicking open saloon doors like the outlaw Josie Wales. 0.51

02:32:52.000 But they always had beads.

02:32:54.000 They always had curtains.

02:32:55.000 Do you remember those?

02:32:56.000 I remember curtains.

02:32:57.000 You're a lot younger than me.

02:32:59.000 How old are you now?

02:33:00.000 37. But there was a video store, and I'll never forget this thing.

02:33:03.000 How old were you when you were looking at the porn section of the mom and pop video stores?

02:33:06.000 I would sneak in around 10 or 11 just to peek back there because they were velvet, like crust velvet, maroon curtains. 0.81

02:33:13.000 Dude, you'd have to open those beads and people would hear the clickety-clickety clack of your pervertedness. 0.99

02:33:17.000 Dude. 1.00

02:33:19.000 I'm going to jerk off. 0.99

02:33:23.000 That's what it was saying! 0.99

02:33:24.000 That's what those beads were saying.

02:33:26.000 They were sending out a Morse code. 0.96

02:33:28.000 I'm jerking off. 0.98

02:33:30.000 And then you'd all pass each other. 0.99

02:33:33.000 No one would be friendly.

02:33:35.000 No one would make eye contact.

02:33:37.000 Everyone was so weird.

02:33:38.000 Just picking up boxes, looking at them like you're looking at a normal movie.

02:33:43.000 Like you're reading the plot on the back. 1.00

02:33:45.000 So stupid! 1.00

02:33:46.000 It was so stupid, man. 1.00

02:33:48.000 It was so stupid. 1.00

02:33:49.000 But also fantastic. 1.00

02:33:50.000 There's none of that now.

02:33:52.000 It was a weird time, where everybody knew that everybody else watched porn too, so we were all like, yeah, yeah, yeah, how you doing, Mike?

02:33:59.000 What's up?

02:33:59.000 And then, you know, maybe, that was like, if you have good friends, good friends would tell each other they'd beat off.

02:34:05.000 There's a lot of guys out there lying to each other.

02:34:06.000 I don't even like porn. 1.00

02:34:08.000 Stacks of it, hidden in closets and shit. 1.00

02:34:11.000 Dude, magazines? 1.00

02:34:13.000 Jacking off to magazines?

02:34:15.000 Bro, jacking off in the forest to magazines.

02:34:18.000 I used to have a bit that I never wound up putting this on a special.

02:34:22.000 I wrote it, but then my special was too long.

02:34:26.000 I think it was Triggered or one of the other ones.

02:34:28.000 But I had a whole bit about when I was a kid, we would find porn in the forest.

02:34:33.000 Some dudes who were so scared.

02:34:36.000 They're so scared of the fact they beat off. 1.00

02:34:38.000 They have to hide their shit in the woods. 1.00

02:34:39.000 Oh my god. 1.00

02:34:40.000 They have to go to the woods.

02:34:41.000 You should release that bit.

02:34:42.000 Is it like a bonus?

02:34:43.000 I need to just redo it.

02:34:44.000 I should just redo it.

02:34:45.000 And release it.

02:34:46.000 Yeah, because I think the problem was sometimes I get on a subject and I do too much on that subject. 0.73

02:34:53.000 I might have had too many jerking off jokes. 0.59

02:34:55.000 Hilarious. 0.99

02:34:56.000 Nothing better than a jerking off joke, man. 1.00

02:34:58.000 You have to fucking, but you have to, if you're doing a whole special and you have 28 minutes of jerking off jokes, you gotta edit out 10 of that, put it aside, tighten up your ship. 1.00

02:35:09.000 Ugh. 0.99

02:35:10.000 But that's a thing like that back then, you know, it never existed before.

02:35:16.000 So when I was a kid, when I was in high school, that's when the VHS tape became common in households, in my neighborhood at least.

02:35:24.000 I don't remember what the year was.

02:35:25.000 They invented the VHS tape.

02:35:28.000 But I remember the first time I ever saw TV on a thing that you could push into the television and watch it and play it. 0.99

02:35:36.000 And then people figured out that this is a good way to watch people fuck. 1.00

02:35:40.000 Thank you. 0.99

02:35:42.000 By the time I was a senior in high school, it went from freshman in high school, nobody watched people fuck, to senior high school, all of my friends were stealing tapes from their dads and buying them off other dudes.

02:35:57.000 Was Faces of Death big when you were- Yes, that was just after high school. 0.74

02:36:02.000 Yes. 0.99

02:36:03.000 Just after high school, dudes had Faces of Death, and then there was also shit like Barnyard Betty, where there was this poor- Fetal alcohol syndrome baby that grew up to be a fucked up lady who was on drugs is having sex with all these different barnyard animals and you're like, oh my god. 0.98

02:36:22.000 And so I was at my friend Billy's house and we went down to his basement and we're watching it on the TV and our other friend Ron is guarding the door. 0.98

02:36:33.000 He's making sure that nobody opens up the door for parents. 0.68

02:36:35.000 So he's like, look out at the door while we're watching this chick suck off a German Shepherd. 0.96

02:36:40.000 I'm like, oh my god. 0.95

02:36:41.000 God, this is crazy! 0.94

02:36:43.000 Because, you know, we were like 20 or something like that, and we couldn't believe that, to any 20-year-old kid, if you said, did you know that there's ladies that if you pay them enough money they'll suck off dogs? 1.00

02:36:55.000 You're like, what the fuck? 1.00

02:36:56.000 They're like, duh. 1.00

02:36:57.000 But they'd be like, duh. 0.99

02:36:59.000 Yeah, here's a whole Reddit fucking subthread. 0.99

02:37:01.000 Oh, I know, now. 1.00

02:37:02.000 A subreddit dedicated entirely to chicks who blow dogs.

02:37:06.000 So VCR was released in 1977 in the United States.

02:37:10.000 Faces of Death came out the next year. 1.00

02:37:12.000 Fuck! 0.99

02:37:13.000 And then in 1985, a mathematics teacher showed it to his class in Escondido High School. 1.00

02:37:21.000 Holy shit! 0.98

02:37:23.000 Two of the students were so traumatized. 1.00

02:37:25.000 That would have fucked me up. 0.98

02:37:26.000 They developed an unnatural fear of dying and suffering emotional distress. 0.96

02:37:29.000 Yeah, I couldn't watch that when I was in high school.

02:37:31.000 The other thing is, how much of it was real, though?

02:37:33.000 It's a good question.

02:37:34.000 I'd have to see it now.

02:37:35.000 Some of it was, but most of it was real.

02:37:37.000 I'm sorry, what year did you say the VHS was invented in 76?

02:37:40.000 77. So I was in ninth grade in 1981. That was my first year as a high school student.

02:37:49.000 So that was like right when that was kind of kicking in.

02:37:54.000 A new invention, like a thing that you can play tape and you can watch movies in your house, that took a year or two back then to spread across the whole country.

02:38:06.000 Betamax was the year and a half-ish before it.

02:38:10.000 Because VCR took off in Japan and this says Betamax came out in 1975. Yeah.

02:38:15.000 What you mean is VHS. VHS was inferior to Betamax, but Betamax was a Sony product, and it was only Sony.

02:38:24.000 So you had to only use their stuff, right?

02:38:27.000 And apparently it was way better and smaller.

02:38:31.000 They've had that problem a few times.

02:38:33.000 Are you a Sonyator?

02:38:34.000 No, but they've won a few times.

02:38:35.000 Discman and some other things.

02:38:37.000 Oh, the Discman was sick. 1.00

02:38:38.000 That shit was dope. 1.00

02:38:40.000 Remember the VCR, too? 1.00

02:38:41.000 The first one, it would pop open on top.

02:38:44.000 You wouldn't put it straight in.

02:38:46.000 It'd pop up top, and then you'd put it in.

02:38:47.000 Bro, I remember we'd go to the gym and dudes would have a disc man on their hip.

02:38:51.000 A big yellow plastic thing where the CD would sit in it and they'd be at the gym lifting and be like, look how cool that guy looks.

02:38:59.000 He's got his own music.

02:39:01.000 They called the skip protection ESP because it looked ahead and wouldn't forget.

02:39:05.000 And that was a big deal.

02:39:07.000 Because it wouldn't skip.

02:39:08.000 It wouldn't skip.

02:39:09.000 You could shake it.

02:39:10.000 It wouldn't skip.

02:39:10.000 I remember when they first figured out how to do that in cars, I was like, God, they nailed it.

02:39:15.000 Because before, if you were driving in your car and you hit a bump, your fucking music would ruin. 0.99

02:39:20.000 It would fuck the song up. 1.00

02:39:22.000 What a nightmare. 0.81

02:39:23.000 It was a nightmare.

02:39:24.000 It was basically you're driving around at a record player.

02:39:26.000 But they did have a record player for a car even before that.

02:39:31.000 They had record players for cars in like the 50s.

02:39:34.000 Like a record, like a 78. Really?

02:39:37.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:39:38.000 See if you can find that.

02:39:39.000 We've talked about this before.

02:39:40.000 Record players in cars.

02:39:42.000 It was really old.

02:39:43.000 I want to say it was like late 50s.

02:39:46.000 What a terrible idea.

02:39:48.000 They didn't know what to do!

02:39:49.000 There was some form of entertainment.

02:39:51.000 There was no noise.

02:39:51.000 Imagine being quarantined.

02:39:53.000 Oh, back then?

02:39:54.000 Yeah, well, they basically were quarantined.

02:39:57.000 Yeah, that's what they were doing.

02:39:58.000 What kind of life was that?

02:40:00.000 Living in the 20s.

02:40:01.000 Remember all the CDs you have?

02:40:03.000 Remember all the stacks?

02:40:04.000 You'd have the black case and be full.

02:40:07.000 You remember those things you would have?

02:40:08.000 Those towers?

02:40:09.000 Those CDs are stacked up in those towers?

02:40:11.000 You can buy one right now for $150.

02:40:14.000 Oh my god, that's hilarious.

02:40:15.000 That's a little pricey.

02:40:16.000 That's way pricey.

02:40:17.000 For a record player though?

02:40:18.000 That works.

02:40:19.000 A Philips record player for your car.

02:40:21.000 But what year did they invent it?

02:40:24.000 So look at that guy's car!

02:40:25.000 Look at that lower...

02:40:26.000 Look at that right there.

02:40:27.000 Look at that black and white picture. 1.00

02:40:29.000 That guy's got a fucking friend in there. 0.99

02:40:30.000 That's Muhammad Ali! 1.00

02:40:31.000 That's Muhammad Ali. 1.00

02:40:33.000 Holy fuck. 1.00

02:40:34.000 Holy shit! 1.00

02:40:35.000 He had a record player in his car. 1.00

02:40:36.000 He's got stacks of records there, too.

02:40:39.000 You know the thing is, we don't know if that's photoshopped.

02:40:41.000 I know.

02:40:43.000 That's what's real weird.

02:40:44.000 But here's what's real weird.

02:40:46.000 In the future...

02:40:47.000 You're gonna be able to do, like a regular person is gonna be able to do whatever they want.

02:40:52.000 What do you mean?

02:40:54.000 With CGI, with Photoshop.

02:40:57.000 Oh, they'll be able to do whatever they want.

02:40:57.000 With pretending.

02:40:58.000 We don't know.

02:41:00.000 If you've got one of those of Daniel Craig or John Lennon.

02:41:04.000 John Lennon's driving around with a record player in his Cadillac.

02:41:07.000 I don't know if that's real.

02:41:09.000 Today?

02:41:09.000 Today, I don't know.

02:41:10.000 But in the future, you're going to be able to watch a video.

02:41:12.000 And you won't know if the video is real.

02:41:13.000 Have you seen they've been able to do like...

02:41:14.000 Your face could be on that easily.

02:41:16.000 Oh, easily.

02:41:17.000 Easily.

02:41:18.000 My face has been on so many chicks... 1.00

02:41:20.000 Do you know how many chicks people have taken my face and put on their body? 1.00

02:41:25.000 Especially in ridiculous workout selfies that I take.

02:41:29.000 Like when I'm done working out and I'm all sweaty and I feel pumped. 0.94

02:41:33.000 People put them on chicks' faces. 1.00

02:41:35.000 Have you seen the deepfakes? 0.90

02:41:36.000 They do it with porno.

02:41:37.000 They have huge celebrities. 0.99

02:41:40.000 Looks pretty fucking real, man. 0.87

02:41:42.000 It looks pretty real, but here's the thing, man. 0.61

02:41:43.000 CGI is gonna replace all that.

02:41:45.000 They're gonna be able to do that with computer programs where you don't need to just put it on an existing video.

02:41:51.000 You can do the whole thing artificially.

02:41:54.000 The whole thing.

02:41:55.000 They'll probably...

02:41:55.000 It'll be like Squarespace.

02:41:57.000 Like, Squarespace has templates for websites?

02:42:00.000 Yeah, websites.

02:42:01.000 They're going to have templates for porn.

02:42:03.000 Like, what do you want to do?

02:42:04.000 You want to be a tennis instructor?

02:42:06.000 How do you want to do it?

02:42:08.000 And it's going to be a dude, and then it's going to be, he's going to just go in there, and you're going to have whatever girl you want. 1.00

02:42:14.000 You want to fuck Meg Ryan? 1.00

02:42:16.000 Okay, it's going to be Meg Ryan. 1.00

02:42:17.000 That's nuts.

02:42:18.000 Yeah, it's going to be whoever you want.

02:42:19.000 Well, think about it.

02:42:20.000 You'll probably get rid of the actor, because they'll be able to put that in movies, whoever you want.

02:42:23.000 Yeah, you want a 1990 Salma Hayek?

02:42:26.000 Yeah.

02:42:26.000 Boom!

02:42:27.000 So you get to hear her voice.

02:42:30.000 You get to see her face.

02:42:31.000 There's going to be crazy lawsuits where people are trying to stop people from using their face and their artificial body in porn.

02:42:42.000 And the arguments are going to be that it's art.

02:42:44.000 You can't stop freedom of expression.

02:42:47.000 But you can't use people's name and likeness.

02:42:49.000 Yeah, but it's not if it's a painting of someone.

02:42:52.000 Here's the thing, right?

02:42:53.000 If I take you and I paint you Can I sell it?

02:42:58.000 This is what I think.

02:42:59.000 Can you?

02:43:00.000 Yes, I think so.

02:43:01.000 I think if someone paints me and they sell it, I don't have any say in that.

02:43:06.000 I'm a public figure.

02:43:07.000 They're painting me and they're selling it.

02:43:09.000 Now, what if they paint me and it's so realistic? 1.00

02:43:14.000 That it looks exactly like me, and I got a dick in my mouth, and they're selling it. 1.00

02:43:18.000 I don't think I can do anything. 1.00

02:43:20.000 So let's keep going.

02:43:21.000 Let's keep going.

02:43:22.000 What if instead of paint, they do a digital photograph?

02:43:26.000 So they make a photograph with a computer of me.

02:43:29.000 It looks just like me, doing something I've never done before.

02:43:31.000 Robbing a bank.

02:43:32.000 Like running out of there with a bag of cash and a pistol in my hand.

02:43:36.000 A thing that never existed.

02:43:37.000 It's not a pre-existing photograph where they just superimpose my face.

02:43:41.000 It's a completely new image.

02:43:43.000 How is that not a piece of art?

02:43:45.000 I think it is.

02:43:46.000 So why wouldn't it be, especially, it's going to be disturbing for female celebrities. 1.00

02:43:51.000 What if it's you in a KKK outfit? 0.58

02:43:54.000 It could be you in anything. 1.00

02:43:56.000 It could be you with a giant vagina, giving birth. 1.00

02:43:59.000 Bill Clinton. 1.00

02:44:00.000 That was a painting.

02:44:00.000 That's a real painting.

02:44:01.000 That was a painting.

02:44:02.000 If you guys don't know how crazy this Epstein story is, in Jeffrey Epstein's house in New York City, which was $70 million, worth $70 million, who someone gave him.

02:44:13.000 Somebody gave it to him.

02:44:15.000 Okay, whatever.

02:44:16.000 I have friends.

02:44:17.000 I get it.

02:44:18.000 He's got a painting of Bill Clinton in a dress pointing at him.

02:44:22.000 That's Hillary Clinton's dress. 1.00

02:44:23.000 Well, whoever's dress it is.

02:44:25.000 It's Bill Clinton.

02:44:26.000 It might have been Monica Lewinsky's dress. 1.00

02:44:28.000 Is it the same one that Hillary won?

02:44:29.000 It could be either one.

02:44:31.000 It's pretty close.

02:44:31.000 It's so weird.

02:44:32.000 Either way.

02:44:33.000 But that was in his living room.

02:44:35.000 It's so weird.

02:44:36.000 So in his living room, he had a painting of Bill Clinton dressed up like a woman.

02:44:41.000 I think he had that George Bush one too.

02:44:43.000 Have you seen that?

02:44:43.000 It's almost like they held stuff over these guys to the point where they could humiliate them.

02:44:51.000 They were mocking them.

02:44:52.000 So if that guy came...

02:44:53.000 If Bill came over to his house, he would see that. 1.00

02:44:57.000 He would see, like, you're my bitch. 1.00

02:45:00.000 Fuck! 1.00

02:45:00.000 You're my bitch. 1.00

02:45:01.000 I don't care if you're the former president. 1.00

02:45:02.000 You're my bitch. 1.00

02:45:03.000 I still don't think he... 1.00

02:45:04.000 Let me show you the videos.

02:45:05.000 I still don't think he committed suicide.

02:45:06.000 Of course you don't.

02:45:07.000 Because he didn't.

02:45:08.000 Yeah.

02:45:09.000 First of all...

02:45:11.000 What do you think, Jamie?

02:45:12.000 I'm not a big conspiracy guy. 0.98

02:45:14.000 Michael Badden, that fucking guy from that HBO autopsy series, he talks about it in depth. 0.98

02:45:20.000 He's like, no, these are injuries consistent with someone who's been choked. 0.99

02:45:24.000 It's also the position of the cut.

02:45:26.000 It's all lower.

02:45:27.000 When you hang yourself, it goes up like that because your whole weight is up there. 1.00

02:45:31.000 This shit is down there. 1.00

02:45:32.000 Someone's choking this motherfucker off. 1.00

02:45:35.000 I think Harvey Weinstein's the next to go. 1.00

02:45:37.000 He has too much shit. 1.00

02:45:38.000 Yeah, we talked about this yesterday, right? 1.00

02:45:40.000 With Michael Shermer?

02:45:41.000 Who did I talk about this with?

02:45:42.000 With Lex?

02:45:42.000 Or was it Michael?

02:45:43.000 One of the two, it came up.

02:45:44.000 What'd he say?

02:45:45.000 I don't know.

02:45:47.000 I've heard that argument before, but I think that he's got more to lose than he does to gain. 1.00

02:45:55.000 Because if he says something like, yeah, all those Hollywood starlets, they all sucked my dick and that's how they got famous. 1.00

02:46:00.000 It sort of reinforces... 1.00

02:46:02.000 That he was a monster? 0.96

02:46:03.000 That he was a monster.

02:46:04.000 But it also shows they were playing the game.

02:46:06.000 They were playing the game, but that game's illegal.

02:46:09.000 And so the whole reason why he's in jail for the rest of his life is because that game's illegal.

02:46:13.000 But he's already in there.

02:46:14.000 So if he goes, hey, I know I'm this monster.

02:46:17.000 You like this celebrity?

02:46:18.000 She did this with me for years.

02:46:20.000 Look at this.

02:46:21.000 Jeffrey Epstein's Hollywood pipeline ran straight to Harvey Weinstein.

02:46:25.000 Yeesh.

02:46:25.000 Well, I would make up a bunch of stories about aliens now that Harvey's in the pokey, probably for the rest of his life.

02:46:30.000 If I ran some of them dubious websites, I would start writing the most ridiculous stories I am related to someone who was propositioned by Harvey Weinstein and said that he could make her a star.

02:46:46.000 She didn't believe him.

02:46:48.000 The crazy thing is he... 1.00

02:46:49.000 Sounds like your cousin was a dumbass. 1.00

02:46:52.000 It was in Ohio. 1.00

02:46:53.000 She had no idea who he was.

02:46:54.000 Oh, wow.

02:46:54.000 Do your research, girl.

02:46:56.000 Was there no Google back in this fucking... 0.99

02:46:58.000 It might have been actually a long time ago. 1.00

02:46:59.000 She could have been fucking Wonder Woman. 1.00

02:47:01.000 She's just like, who's this fat guy? 1.00

02:47:03.000 Are you insinuating? 0.64

02:47:05.000 Oh, no.

02:47:05.000 Who knows?

02:47:06.000 How dare you?

02:47:07.000 Back in the day, Wonder Woman.

02:47:08.000 He made people famous.

02:47:09.000 Whitney Cummings talks about it.

02:47:11.000 She has a really funny way of putting it.

02:47:13.000 She's like, well, the guy always told the truth.

02:47:15.000 He really did it for him. 1.00

02:47:16.000 Like, if you told him, if you suck my dick, I'm going to put you in this movie. 1.00

02:47:19.000 They were in the movie. 1.00

02:47:20.000 They were in the movie.

02:47:20.000 And that was his reputation.

02:47:22.000 I'm like, wow. 0.98

02:47:23.000 Crazy. 1.00

02:47:24.000 But then again, how does a guy like him ever fuck a 10? 1.00

02:47:31.000 But I put him in movies. 0.99

02:47:32.000 And you imagine how stunned he must have been? 0.98

02:47:35.000 Imagine you're banging some of the most famous, hottest women in the world, and you're this monster. 0.99

02:47:40.000 You look terrible. 1.00

02:47:42.000 You look terrible. 0.99

02:47:43.000 You look like an experiment. 0.97

02:47:45.000 Right? 0.86

02:47:46.000 He was so vile.

02:47:48.000 Doesn't he have corona?

02:47:50.000 Pretty sure they moved him to the hospital with corona. 0.97

02:47:52.000 Dave Chappelle had a fucking hilarious take on that. 0.99

02:47:54.000 He goes, "There's very few dudes where you look at him and go, 'Oh yeah, he rapes!'" That was in that Belly Room comedy special that he did with his walker. 0.98

02:48:11.000 God, it's so crazy.

02:48:12.000 He's so foul looking.

02:48:14.000 But if a guy like him grew up in that Hollywood system, he's probably...

02:48:26.000 You know, like a really extreme version of how they all did it.

02:48:29.000 Agree.

02:48:30.000 Yeah.

02:48:31.000 He's not the first one.

02:48:32.000 No.

02:48:32.000 The casting couch is an expression for a reason.

02:48:37.000 Correct.

02:48:38.000 It was real.

02:48:40.000 It's a huge porno channel to this day.

02:48:43.000 I mean, but we know that that happened, right? 0.97

02:48:48.000 Yeah, it's gross.

02:48:50.000 100%.

02:48:51.000 I'm not endorsing it.

02:48:53.000 I'm just saying we know of it as a historical reality.

02:48:56.000 You know, just like we know barbarians used to be real. 0.54

02:48:59.000 We know.

02:49:01.000 I love that as a historical reality.

02:49:04.000 The casting couch was a real thing.

02:49:06.000 God, he's vile.

02:49:08.000 He's got everything. 0.65

02:49:09.000 He's got pockmarks. 0.99

02:49:10.000 He's fat. 0.98

02:49:10.000 He's balding. 0.98

02:49:11.000 Nothing is good. 0.99

02:49:13.000 He's gross looking. 0.97

02:49:13.000 He doesn't look compassionate. 0.97

02:49:14.000 He doesn't look friendly.

02:49:15.000 It's all those things. 1.00

02:49:17.000 Apparently on a small dick. 1.00

02:49:19.000 But it's also, it's like there's this fucking vortex of things that are happening. 1.00

02:49:23.000 Everything's all happening together. 0.97

02:49:25.000 And this guy figured out that there's a system.

02:49:28.000 If you get people's attention and make them famous, then you can make a lot of money if you make good choices and you're smart about how you do it.

02:49:33.000 And you control your addiction just enough to keep making movies.

02:49:36.000 Woo! 0.99

02:49:37.000 And he's with a bunch of young starlets. 1.00

02:49:43.000 And he just looks like complete shit. 1.00

02:49:45.000 Just a monster. 1.00

02:49:48.000 Welcome to RV. What do you do if you're one of those gals? 1.00

02:49:56.000 I want to be in the movie!

02:49:57.000 I could be Aquaman's girlfriend! 1.00

02:50:00.000 He's gonna suck this fat guy's dick! 1.00

02:50:03.000 Shit! 1.00

02:50:04.000 Didn't you have a bit about it? 1.00

02:50:05.000 Yeah.

02:50:06.000 Well, I had a bit about my son.

02:50:08.000 It's different with boys.

02:50:09.000 But if I was a man, like it was me and it was my daughter, you know, like every man in this room, like every person's room, and that guy propositioned my daughter and offered her money in exchange or offered her sex. 0.99

02:50:24.000 Her giving him sex. 0.99

02:50:25.000 To be Catwoman? 1.00

02:50:26.000 In exchange for a movie, I'd be like, no, I'd want to kick his ass. 1.00

02:50:29.000 I'd want to fuck him up. 1.00

02:50:30.000 I want to kill him. 1.00

02:50:30.000 I forgot the bit. 1.00

02:50:31.000 What?

02:50:32.000 Breaking news.

02:50:33.000 What?

02:50:34.000 Some fighters out.

02:50:34.000 I'm not going to like this.

02:50:35.000 What?

02:50:36.000 I'm not going to like what?

02:50:37.000 Let me get their tweet.

02:50:38.000 Sorry.

02:50:39.000 Oh, I'm nervous.

02:50:40.000 Yeah.

02:50:41.000 Sorry.

02:50:41.000 Is it a fight off?

02:50:42.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:50:43.000 Fuck! 1.00

02:50:43.000 What's with the suspense? 1.00

02:50:45.000 I was trying to get the tweet out.

02:50:46.000 What do we got here?

02:50:47.000 UFC 249 has been canceled.

02:50:49.000 All UFC events postponed indefinitely due to COVID-19.

02:50:54.000 Dana White says he's ready to promote the event, but things were taken out of his control.

02:50:59.000 Much, much more to come. 0.99

02:51:01.000 The government stepped in and said, you ain't doing shit. 0.99

02:51:05.000 Wow. 0.99

02:51:06.000 Wow.

02:51:06.000 That's interesting.

02:51:10.000 Well, that saves me a lot of fucking thinking. 1.00

02:51:14.000 Fuck! 1.00

02:51:17.000 Damn. 1.00

02:51:18.000 I was 75% ready to go. 1.00

02:51:20.000 You were gonna do it.

02:51:21.000 The only thing that worried me is that if I contracted something and then I came in contact with other people.

02:51:27.000 So what I was gonna do is do it if I definitely could get tested.

02:51:32.000 And then I would have to know the results before I come back. 0.97

02:51:35.000 But fucking even then you don't know. 0.97

02:51:38.000 The testing was a little dicey. 0.99

02:51:40.000 Jamie was saying there's a new type of test that they're working on.

02:51:43.000 What is that?

02:51:43.000 They don't have it officially done yet, I guess.

02:51:45.000 But when I was reading the stuff about the NBA, it said that they have a potential...

02:51:50.000 Instant test, right?

02:51:51.000 Like maybe a diabetic type test where you can prick a finger, get a little bit of blood, and they can get something within 5 to 10 minutes.

02:51:57.000 I believe it also said it was hypothetical and like if they can get that done or get it mass produced or whatever it is and it works and it's accurate, then they will proceed, but...

02:52:07.000 I'm so disappointed.

02:52:08.000 Dude, there's an article in The Atlantic about tracking you with cell phones and tracking you in comparison to trusted people that have tested negative.

02:52:18.000 Like that could be the way that we could release people from quarantine.

02:52:21.000 And this is...

02:52:22.000 We're gonna go full Eddie Bravo on something like this. 1.00

02:52:25.000 Fuck, dude. 1.00

02:52:25.000 Because if you have to have something... 1.00

02:52:27.000 You have to have your phone on you to travel.

02:52:29.000 Like apparently they have to do...

02:52:30.000 I think it's in China, right?

02:52:32.000 Don't they have their phone to travel?

02:52:34.000 And they have a health app on their phone.

02:52:37.000 It's sort of like they have to keep their health app up to date.

02:52:40.000 There's one on every iPhone already.

02:52:42.000 Yeah, but I think this is a different kind of thing.

02:52:46.000 You have to have been certified that you tested clean for COVID, and then it's on your phone.

02:52:55.000 A digital certificate or something like that, yeah.

02:52:57.000 Something like that.

02:52:58.000 I'm fine with that.

02:52:59.000 Dude, you can't be!

02:53:01.000 Because then they can restrict your travel just based on whether or not- If you're sick, though?

02:53:05.000 Yeah, but here's the thing.

02:53:08.000 We've always just accepted that people can be sick and we prefer freedom over 100% safety.

02:53:16.000 We've always accepted- We're not doing that now, Joe.

02:53:19.000 We're not doing that now.

02:53:20.000 But my point is, we've always accepted that.

02:53:24.000 And if we decide to keep going further down that rabbit hole where we make someone carry a device, where you can track their location, you have to have it to travel.

02:53:32.000 That's scary.

02:53:33.000 It gets weird, man.

02:53:35.000 It gets weird.

02:53:36.000 You have to have a phone, and I have to be able to see what you've been up to.

02:53:40.000 What if you've been partying all night?

02:53:41.000 And you go to the airport, and they're like, I think you have cancer.

02:53:43.000 They're like, no, no, no, I just did coke. 1.00

02:53:46.000 I'm just fucked. 1.00

02:53:47.000 They're like, I think you're dying. 1.00

02:53:49.000 Like, no, I've just been up.

02:53:51.000 I've been hammered all night.

02:53:52.000 I haven't gotten to bed yet.

02:53:54.000 I've got high blood pressure.

02:53:55.000 Going back to see my family, please.

02:53:57.000 I hated Denny's.

02:53:58.000 I'm trying to go home.

02:53:59.000 I want to go home.

02:54:00.000 I'm sleeping for three days.

02:54:01.000 And they're like, you're sick.

02:54:02.000 We need to quarantine you. 0.98

02:54:05.000 But that's a poor example just for humor.

02:54:08.000 But there's a slippery road if you tell people they have to have a phone everywhere they go.

02:54:14.000 Right now you don't.

02:54:15.000 You could have a driver's license or a passport and you can get on a plane and you're fine.

02:54:20.000 You don't have to have a phone.

02:54:21.000 You don't have to have a phone right now.

02:54:24.000 And I'm not saying you shouldn't have a phone, but I'm saying if someone's gonna tell you That you have to have a phone everywhere you go.

02:54:32.000 Things are going to get slippery.

02:54:33.000 Because they're going to be able to track you 100%.

02:54:36.000 But what if it's just like the way you scan your boarding pass?

02:54:39.000 What if you scan to make sure you're healthy?

02:54:41.000 But that's the problem.

02:54:43.000 And after that they don't track you.

02:54:45.000 Well look, think about all Google has done.

02:54:48.000 It's not a knock on Google, but all Google has done with basically just the information that they give to companies on what your activities are.

02:54:58.000 The reason why when you're talking about things and these Google Ads pop up Why is that?

02:55:04.000 Why when you look up something, you find those ads and everything?

02:55:07.000 Well, it's because they're trying to sell you things, right?

02:55:08.000 They're trying to figure out...

02:55:09.000 They're monitoring what you're looking at, yeah.

02:55:11.000 Yeah, trying to figure out what makes you tick.

02:55:13.000 Why wouldn't they do that with this, too?

02:55:16.000 Why wouldn't they do that with this, too?

02:55:18.000 If you could track people, who's going to pay for all that software and all that stuff?

02:55:23.000 Well, we'll just put a few ads up.

02:55:25.000 Would you rather be quarantined?

02:55:26.000 But imagine...

02:55:27.000 Would you rather be quarantined?

02:55:28.000 But imagine if you could track people, if they could go everywhere, and while they're doing their life, you know everything they do.

02:55:36.000 You know they went to this grocery store.

02:55:38.000 You know they went to this house.

02:55:40.000 You gave an app on them that they can't leave behind that checks their health.

02:55:47.000 It's dicey.

02:55:48.000 It's dicey!

02:55:51.000 There should never be a group that has more power over an individual rather than another individual.

02:55:59.000 The thing about having a massive group that can tell one person that they can or can't do something is it can be abused.

02:56:07.000 If everyone is even, it can never be abused.

02:56:09.000 If we all follow the same rules and the same laws, then okay, we all agree.

02:56:13.000 We all have the same amount of control and power over each other's lives.

02:56:17.000 But as soon as you have more control than the person who you're monitoring, then things can get weird.

02:56:24.000 It's just natural.

02:56:25.000 People are weird.

02:56:27.000 They control people. 0.58

02:56:28.000 They like controlling people.

02:56:29.000 They like abusing power.

02:56:31.000 A lot of people that have power abuse power.

02:56:34.000 So if you give the power of constant surveillance in exchange for the freedom to be able to go everywhere you want and the relieving of quarantine, we just want to know you're healthy.

02:56:44.000 No big deal.

02:56:45.000 You're like, okay.

02:56:46.000 We'll let you out if you let us monitor you.

02:56:48.000 That's what's going on.

02:56:49.000 It's not that they thought this through and this was their end goal.

02:56:53.000 You don't think so? 0.99

02:56:53.000 I don't think it's a fucking conspiracy. 0.99

02:56:55.000 You're not that smart? 0.99

02:56:56.000 No, I think people take advantage of things that happen.

02:56:59.000 That's more likely.

02:57:00.000 What's more likely is a crazy thing happens and people automatically take advantage when they find an opportunity.

02:57:08.000 Especially the more predatory amongst us.

02:57:10.000 So it's not like we're...

02:57:13.000 We're just looking out for human nature.

02:57:15.000 It's human nature.

02:57:18.000 When you look at the stuff that Edward Snowden found out about the NSA, of course they would.

02:57:24.000 If they could, they're going to.

02:57:25.000 They're going to do it.

02:57:26.000 They're going to find a way.

02:57:27.000 It's human nature.

02:57:28.000 It's just how we are, man.

02:57:30.000 Dude, I want to know who shut down UFC 249 because we know how adamant Dana is. 1.00

02:57:35.000 I was waiting to get that in there.

02:57:37.000 Supposed to happen April 18th has been cancelled.

02:57:39.000 Dana White confirms that he was asked to stand down by top Disney ESPN executives and he is doing so. 0.98

02:57:48.000 Damn, think of the power of Disney. 0.98

02:57:49.000 Hey, Dana, let's shut it down. 0.98

02:57:52.000 Well, I think they made probably a risk assessment, and then they made a calculation of what the negative aspects of going against government regulations, in terms of state government, would be.

02:58:06.000 They're probably like, you can't do this.

02:58:08.000 They're saying it's not worth it.

02:58:10.000 Imagine being the president of the UFC. Fuck all that. 1.00

02:58:13.000 Imagine having all these fights that you have to make and having all this pressure on you. 1.00

02:58:18.000 And you're also like a famous guy like Dana is.

02:58:21.000 Imagine being that guy. 1.00

02:58:23.000 Fuck that job. 1.00

02:58:24.000 Dana, president of the UFC is second only to president of the United States. 1.00

02:58:28.000 How dare you? 1.00

02:58:29.000 How fucking dare you? 1.00

02:58:31.000 How dare you? 1.00

02:58:32.000 Is that a pressure?

02:58:33.000 Dude, $450 million in the bank account?

02:58:36.000 That's nice, but you get used to that.

02:58:39.000 You get used to that money.

02:58:40.000 100%.

02:58:40.000 He's compensated well for it.

02:58:42.000 He's compensated well.

02:58:43.000 He's not making all the fights.

02:58:45.000 He's making a lot of fights.

02:58:46.000 He's making the main fights.

02:58:47.000 He's making a lot of fights.

02:58:48.000 The main events.

02:58:48.000 But the most important thing is he's like a psychotic driving force for the most exciting organization in the world.

02:58:54.000 And I don't think the organization gets where it is without Dana White. 0.95

02:58:57.000 I think you have to have a crazy person in the wheel. 0.98

02:58:59.000 You have to have a bulldog. 1.00

02:59:00.000 You have a guy who doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

02:59:02.000 He's a real man. 1.00

02:59:04.000 He doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

02:59:05.000 He'll talk shit. 1.00

02:59:07.000 He'll insult people. 1.00

02:59:08.000 He'll go back with you. 1.00

02:59:09.000 He's nuts. 1.00

02:59:10.000 He's wild. 1.00

02:59:11.000 And then Disney went, yeah, you're a wild boy.

02:59:12.000 He's like, I'm going to an Indian reservation!

02:59:15.000 I've got an island! 1.00

02:59:16.000 He's got a fucking island! 1.00

02:59:17.000 I got an island! 1.00

02:59:18.000 And then Disney went, very cool.

02:59:19.000 Your island?

02:59:20.000 Yeah.

02:59:20.000 Hopefully you didn't put money down because we're shutting all that down.

02:59:22.000 They're like, what?

02:59:23.000 What are we doing here?

02:59:25.000 And then they're probably like, this is the only thing that's up and running.

02:59:28.000 This is up and running.

02:59:29.000 They're ready to go right now.

02:59:31.000 And I think, I wish they would have let them go. 0.87

02:59:33.000 Because everyone would have been just fucking fine. 0.72

02:59:36.000 The other thing is, Disney saved $750 million.

02:59:39.000 As long as the right precautions are in place, I agree.

02:59:41.000 They would have been fine.

02:59:42.000 But the thing is, it's like you've got to measure.

02:59:45.000 If this was like just in any other disease where we understood it better, I would be way more confident.

02:59:53.000 We understand numbers though.

02:59:55.000 We do, but we don't understand Michael Yeo.

02:59:57.000 Okay?

02:59:58.000 Michael Yeo almost died.

02:59:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:59:59.000 You know what Michael Yeo's doing right now?

03:00:01.000 He's fine.

03:00:03.000 Right, but he almost died.

03:00:04.000 But he did it?

03:00:05.000 But he was in the hospital for a week.

03:00:06.000 Yeah, but he's fine.

03:00:07.000 Okay.

03:00:08.000 Okay.

03:00:09.000 Now he's fine?

03:00:09.000 I don't want people who are less, like, robust...

03:00:15.000 Michael Yeo to die. 0.99

03:00:16.000 So we got to figure out like what the fuck this virus is? 0.99

03:00:21.000 How does it get treated? 0.98

03:00:22.000 What's the most effective way?

03:00:25.000 And then it makes sense that we're a little bit more loose with our regulations.

03:00:30.000 100%.

03:00:30.000 Now Michael Yeo, decent shape.

03:00:33.000 He's in decent shape.

03:00:34.000 Compared to a UFC fighter? 0.99

03:00:37.000 He's fucking Adele. 1.00

03:00:38.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

03:00:39.000 Like, he's not in shape compared to Tony Ferguson.

03:00:41.000 He works out a lot.

03:00:42.000 He really does.

03:00:43.000 Again, compared to Tony Ferguson, that's fine.

03:00:45.000 You're right.

03:00:45.000 But he's also not that old.

03:00:47.000 No.

03:00:48.000 And, you know, college football player.

03:00:51.000 Strong guy.

03:00:52.000 That's a loose term, but yes.

03:00:53.000 I understand what he did.

03:00:54.000 There was a ball.

03:00:55.000 He was involved.

03:00:59.000 That's a very loose story.

03:01:01.000 Dude, how funny is it when people get busted with a fake story of some sort of athletic past?

03:01:11.000 Oh, dude.

03:01:11.000 It is the weirdest thing.

03:01:13.000 Brian had this friend.

03:01:14.000 I know, that's why I brought it up.

03:01:15.000 Oh, my God.

03:01:17.000 He'd be like, I fought Chick Congo in the beach. 1.00

03:01:21.000 And I've trained with Czech Congo.

03:01:23.000 I know Czech Congo. 0.57

03:01:24.000 I asked Czech Congo. 0.97

03:01:25.000 I've never fought on a beach. 1.00

03:01:28.000 I told Brian, I'm telling you, that guy's full of shit, Brian. 1.00

03:01:31.000 I'm telling you, we can track all of this. 1.00

03:01:33.000 Yeah.

03:01:34.000 Dude, I had a guy who made me talk to his friend because his friend knocked out Chuck Liddell in one of the early UFCs.

03:01:44.000 And this guy's insisting that he knocked out Chuck Liddell in one of the early UFCs and he insists that I know.

03:01:51.000 And he's like, my friend needs to talk to you.

03:01:53.000 It was like a guy who was like a...

03:01:55.000 He was like a bouncer at a nightclub, and he made me talk to his friend.

03:01:59.000 And I'm like, what are you talking about?

03:02:00.000 I go, he's had one loss.

03:02:01.000 It was to Jeremy Horn.

03:02:02.000 He got submitted by Jeremy Horn.

03:02:04.000 This was at the time.

03:02:05.000 I'm like, you didn't knock him out.

03:02:07.000 No, we can check.

03:02:08.000 I can check right now on my phone.

03:02:09.000 Yeah, that didn't happen.

03:02:10.000 Never happened.

03:02:10.000 That didn't happen.

03:02:11.000 That wasn't a real thing.

03:02:13.000 The best was Brian was defending his friend.

03:02:14.000 He goes, dude, he wrestled at ASU. I go, well, my coach wrestled at ASU. I go, how old is your guy?

03:02:21.000 He goes, he's like 40-something.

03:02:22.000 Oh, my coach?

03:02:23.000 Oh, they've been the same year.

03:02:24.000 No, I'll see him tomorrow.

03:02:25.000 Let me ask him.

03:02:26.000 He goes, never heard of that guy.

03:02:28.000 Then Brian goes, dude, Brendan's coach was at ASU when he said you were there.

03:02:32.000 He goes, dude, I didn't say I was on the team.

03:02:34.000 I'd go in and volunteer.

03:02:37.000 Well, D1 programs don't let people volunteer to work out with the wrestling team.

03:02:41.000 Yeah, we got a farmer who wants to come in and do backflips.

03:02:44.000 Can he be on the gymnastics team?

03:02:46.000 Come on, man.

03:02:47.000 What does that mean?

03:02:48.000 I volunteered?

03:02:50.000 Who volunteers?

03:02:51.000 Finally I got Brian to admit it. 0.93

03:02:53.000 Bro, people are crazy.

03:02:54.000 People make stuff up. 0.94

03:02:57.000 It's too easy to track these days.

03:02:59.000 Eddie 90 to this guy.

03:03:01.000 And he had this dude take him to the woods where he's going to fight an akumite. 1.00

03:03:08.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

03:03:09.000 And the guy has a fucking big ol' sack with him. 1.00

03:03:13.000 Like a big ol' bag that he would carry with you. 1.00

03:03:15.000 Like a big one.

03:03:16.000 Like a three foot bag.

03:03:18.000 Solid bag.

03:03:19.000 And he goes, yeah...

03:03:20.000 He goes, I'll be back in two days, you know, and hopefully I'll win this thing.

03:03:25.000 And he goes into the woods.

03:03:27.000 The guy drops him off and he goes into the woods.

03:03:29.000 And so then he comes back.

03:03:32.000 His friend comes to get him.

03:03:33.000 They agree upon this time two days later.

03:03:36.000 His friend comes back and he's holding a trophy.

03:03:39.000 He doesn't have the bag anymore.

03:03:41.000 So the trophy was in the bag.

03:03:44.000 And this guy came out of the woods holding this trophy saying that he won this in this kumite.

03:03:52.000 And the guy's like, but that's the same size as the bag that you had.

03:03:54.000 And you don't have the bag anymore. 0.99

03:03:56.000 What the fuck are you doing? 0.99

03:03:59.000 So this dude basically just went camping and decided that would be the thing. 1.00

03:04:04.000 He was going to tell everybody he fought in some no-rules karate tournament in the forest.

03:04:10.000 Ah, dude.

03:04:11.000 You gotta appreciate the hustle, man.

03:04:13.000 Oh, my God.

03:04:15.000 It's such a funny story, though.

03:04:17.000 Dude, that trophy's the same size.

03:04:18.000 What have you been doing, man?

03:04:20.000 The guy said, drop me off on this dirt road.

03:04:22.000 I have to fight in a karate tournament.

03:04:26.000 So his friends are like, wow, this is just like a movie! 0.99

03:04:31.000 The dude just goes walking down this dirt road like he's fucking Kwai Chang Kane. 1.00

03:04:36.000 Oh my God, it's so stupid. 1.00

03:04:44.000 Oh man, that guy's fantastic. 1.00

03:04:47.000 So stupid. 1.00

03:04:47.000 What the fuck was he thinking? 1.00

03:04:48.000 Imagine thinking, I got these motherfuckers. 1.00

03:04:51.000 They're never gonna question this. 1.00

03:04:52.000 Dude, two knights.

03:04:53.000 Two knights by himself.

03:04:55.000 I was back with a trophy.

03:04:58.000 Probably like hit himself a couple of times.

03:05:00.000 He's like, man, it got dicey, but I pulled it off.

03:05:03.000 It got crazy in the first fight, but the next eight fights were all me.

03:05:07.000 Hey, and for what?

03:05:09.000 Just to tell us about it.

03:05:10.000 Get a trophy.

03:05:12.000 It's no rules.

03:05:13.000 Kumite.

03:05:14.000 In the forest.

03:05:16.000 Anything you can do like that in the forest is more...

03:05:18.000 You can do it on an island.

03:05:19.000 That's what would have been cool about this UFC thing. 0.99

03:05:21.000 If it really did go to fuck island. 0.99

03:05:23.000 Not anymore, bro. 0.99

03:05:25.000 Give it a couple of weeks.

03:05:27.000 Yeah, maybe they'll be back up and running.

03:05:29.000 Well, the good news is it's pure, our response to this, because it happened in the moment.

03:05:34.000 The island might still be in play because all the other leagues are still figuring out that remote situation to figure out soccer, baseball, basketball.

03:05:42.000 So they might...

03:05:43.000 Well, if you could control an island, if it's a small island, if you could control the whole island and test everybody...

03:05:51.000 How much money is the UFC going to be spending on these private jets to fly?

03:05:56.000 How much money are they going to be making with the reality show about moving the UFC to the island? 1.00

03:06:01.000 Because I'm watching that shit. 1.00

03:06:02.000 Fuck Tiger King. 1.00

03:06:03.000 I'm watching Dana White with his crazy screaming and running around trying to figure out how to... 1.00

03:06:10.000 We're gonna put on these fucking fights! 0.99

03:06:11.000 Trying to figure out how to get a fight to an island and coming up with an idea of an island and international waters and who owns the island? 0.99

03:06:18.000 That's one episode, bro.

03:06:18.000 So that dude's the king of the island?

03:06:19.000 That's one episode.

03:06:20.000 Bro.

03:06:20.000 And then the government chats him on the phone call with, yes, Mr. Trump.

03:06:24.000 I understand, Mr. Trump.

03:06:27.000 Disney calling him up, yelling at him.

03:06:30.000 He's a wild man.

03:06:32.000 I don't know what they're gonna do, man.

03:06:34.000 We told you you have to throw those 40-something fights. 0.96

03:06:37.000 I think they're gonna relax a little.

03:06:39.000 I think people are gonna hopefully realize that the worst is behind us.

03:06:43.000 I think maybe the numbers are gonna be like this.

03:06:46.000 I'm hoping, obviously I'm hoping the current treatment is the one that works, but if that's not the one that works, maybe they find something just as good.

03:06:54.000 I heard zinc.

03:06:55.000 Oh, that was the other thing.

03:06:57.000 Why are people saying tonic water?

03:06:59.000 Why are people saying... 0.98

03:07:00.000 This is one of the weird things about home remedies and homeopathic chores to fucking ruthless pandemics. 0.82

03:07:06.000 But people were saying quinine in tonic water and zinc together are a good combination. 0.73

03:07:13.000 Someone was saying that it somehow or another mimics what that malaria drug does. 0.52

03:07:22.000 Sounds ridiculous.

03:07:27.000 Just looking up tonic water, Wikipedia says tonic water is a carbonated drink in which quinine is dissolved, originally used as a prophylactic against malaria.

03:07:36.000 Tonic water usually now has a significantly lower quinine content and is consumed for its distinctive bitter flavor.

03:07:44.000 So now it's just a taste.

03:07:45.000 Oh, okay.

03:07:46.000 So originally...

03:07:48.000 See, that's what happens to me.

03:07:50.000 Home remedies! 0.79

03:07:51.000 But if you can get quinine, forget about tonic water, if you can actually, quinine mimics that malarial drug?

03:07:58.000 Again, this is probably when they first made it, back when Coke had Coke in it.

03:08:03.000 This is how those people die drinking pool cleaner. 1.00

03:08:06.000 Fucking idiots. 1.00

03:08:07.000 That's how they die. 1.00

03:08:08.000 That's how that dude died.

03:08:09.000 That dude died because he's like, look, it's the same letters.

03:08:12.000 The same letters! 1.00

03:08:13.000 Fucking idiot. 1.00

03:08:14.000 Probably prescription only. 1.00

03:08:15.000 It says quinine is a medication for malaria treatment.

03:08:18.000 Whoa! 0.71

03:08:19.000 But I don't think you could just get that.

03:08:21.000 But there is a certain amount of quinine from a natural source in tonic water?

03:08:24.000 Like, what is the quinine from?

03:08:25.000 Why do they have it in there?

03:08:28.000 Imagine if that was the drink they drank in places where the mosquitoes were bad.

03:08:32.000 Quinine powder is so bitter that British officials stationed in early 19th century India had to mix it with soda and sugar so they could drink it.

03:08:42.000 So that's probably how they made that drink to begin with.

03:08:45.000 That's deep.

03:08:46.000 They made a drink with some nasty stuff that kills malaria.

03:08:51.000 Do you know that sickle cell anemia is closely related to people that have survived malaria?

03:08:59.000 Really?

03:09:00.000 Yeah, apparently it's like the genetic...

03:09:03.000 Tiffany Haddish is actually the first person to tell me this.

03:09:06.000 The genetic, the reason why sickle cell came about was because of an ability to fight off malaria.

03:09:15.000 Somehow or another they're connected.

03:09:17.000 What's that?

03:09:18.000 No.

03:09:19.000 But then I looked it up and it's really interesting.

03:09:23.000 It occurs in people who are descendants of people who are in places where malaria existed.

03:09:30.000 So it has something to do with this resistance to malaria.

03:09:34.000 Have you had Tiffany on here?

03:09:35.000 No, I haven't.

03:09:36.000 She was supposed to be on, but she got sick.

03:09:37.000 There is also, it says at the bottom of this...

03:09:40.000 I love her, though.

03:09:40.000 Yeah, me too.

03:09:41.000 I don't know, prescribed, but it says it's often recommended to relieve leg cramps.

03:09:47.000 Huh.

03:09:48.000 Interesting.

03:09:48.000 Why leg cramps?

03:09:49.000 Yeah.

03:09:50.000 Leg cramps are no different than arm cramps, are they?

03:09:51.000 It says that, but the FDA cautions consumers against using off-label quinine drugs to treat leg cramps, but mixing it, there's a certain amount of it that can be mixed.

03:09:59.000 Weird. 0.99

03:10:00.000 What kind of a bitch are you that you need to take a drug for a leg cramp? 1.00

03:10:02.000 That is... 1.00

03:10:03.000 How about walk it off? 1.00

03:10:04.000 Stretch it out, bitch. 1.00

03:10:05.000 Stretch it out. 1.00

03:10:06.000 Stretch it out, dude.

03:10:06.000 Have some water.

03:10:08.000 Come on.

03:10:08.000 Drink something with electrolytes.

03:10:10.000 Get yourself some liquid IV. Okay.

03:10:12.000 Maybe this is like supercharged electrolytes.

03:10:14.000 I don't know.

03:10:15.000 It doesn't have much science about it at all.

03:10:16.000 It's just like a sentence.

03:10:18.000 Yeah, who knows, man?

03:10:19.000 I hope it works.

03:10:20.000 If it doesn't work, I hope vitamin C, sauna, that's what I'm doing.

03:10:25.000 A lot of vitamin C, a lot of vitamin D. I'm going to pee so bad, dude.

03:10:28.000 I bet you do.

03:10:29.000 It's three hours and 27 minutes.

03:10:30.000 Are we 27? 1.00

03:10:31.000 Oh, damn. 0.99

03:10:32.000 Look, it's 3.30 almost. 0.99

03:10:33.000 Done.

03:10:35.000 I think we got a lot accomplished.

03:10:36.000 Me too, man! 0.99

03:10:39.000 How about the fucking UFC's canceled, bro? 0.98

03:10:41.000 And then how about the fact that it happens while we're on the podcast? 0.99

03:10:44.000 That was pretty crazy.

03:10:45.000 We didn't cover too much of it.

03:10:47.000 Listen, man, I was hesitant.

03:10:49.000 My thoughts on...

03:10:50.000 I know you were.

03:10:50.000 I was like, hmm, I really want to go.

03:10:52.000 Like, I was leaning towards going.

03:10:54.000 But I'm like, God, I don't want to hear it from people that don't think it's a good idea.

03:10:57.000 I'm not interested in putting myself at risk, but my real concern was...

03:11:02.000 How do I know if I contract it and then I bring it back?

03:11:06.000 How am I going to know?

03:11:08.000 And I had to be honest with myself.

03:11:09.000 I'm like, I really wouldn't know.

03:11:11.000 So the only way I would be able to do it is to do it and then be in quarantine until I get tested.

03:11:16.000 That ain't worth it.

03:11:17.000 I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ.

03:11:19.000 For what?

03:11:19.000 I want to find out, man.

03:11:21.000 I want to find out how many people have it.

03:11:23.000 I wish they would do.

03:11:24.000 One thing that I wish they would offer is like a worldwide antibody test.

03:11:30.000 Let's find out what the real numbers are. 0.98

03:11:32.000 And maybe they're already doing this and I'm just a moron. 0.98

03:11:34.000 But a worldwide test. 0.98

03:11:36.000 They're doing more, right?

03:11:37.000 Yeah.

03:11:38.000 What's weird to me is the NBA got tested so fast.

03:11:41.000 But I mean antibodies.

03:11:41.000 I want to find out how many people went through it.

03:11:45.000 It'd be nice to have a test.

03:11:47.000 Oh, I see what you're saying.

03:11:47.000 It'd be nice to have a test of the people that survived it.

03:11:50.000 Like, let's test you.

03:11:51.000 How many people survived it?

03:11:53.000 Amazing.

03:11:54.000 They have those numbers.

03:11:55.000 Yeah, they do.

03:11:56.000 It'd be nice to have that, but it'd be also nice to...

03:11:59.000 I hate to say this because I don't want to test everybody, but if we tested everybody, everybody, it was real simple.

03:12:06.000 We tested everybody, and then we find out...

03:12:09.000 Again, this is a power thing.

03:12:10.000 You don't want people having the power to fucking just force you to take a test, and that's what ultimately they would have to do if we're going to test everybody.

03:12:16.000 You'd have to make it like the government would have to make it mandatory. 0.94

03:12:19.000 But imagine if they tested everybody and be like, dude, we got like 99% people have had it and they didn't even know it.

03:12:26.000 And they're fine.

03:12:27.000 We don't know.

03:12:28.000 What if like 99% of the planet had it and a few of them got it really bad and people died from other people just maintained and didn't even skip a beat?

03:12:37.000 There'd be no quarantine.

03:12:39.000 Weird.

03:12:41.000 Isn't that like the chicken pox?

03:12:43.000 Almost everybody gets the chicken pox eventually, right?

03:12:45.000 That's true.

03:12:46.000 Is that true?

03:12:46.000 You can get it again.

03:12:47.000 Do they have a vaccine for the chicken pox though?

03:12:49.000 I thought you could only get it once.

03:12:51.000 I think they have a vaccine for the chicken pox.

03:12:53.000 When a kid gets it, a lot of parents, they want to get their kid near it.

03:12:56.000 Yeah, but that was before they had vaccines, I think.

03:12:59.000 See if...

03:12:59.000 I mean, I'm really sure they have a vaccine for the chicken pox, and that was the idea behind it.

03:13:05.000 That's why people would want their kids... 0.99

03:13:07.000 We haven't heard about chicken pox in a grip.

03:13:09.000 Yeah.

03:13:09.000 When I was a kid, I had it.

03:13:11.000 I'm pretty sure.

03:13:11.000 But you can't get it twice.

03:13:12.000 I had it, too.

03:13:13.000 You can't get it twice, though.

03:13:14.000 Right.

03:13:14.000 Once you have it, you're good.

03:13:15.000 I have like a little hole in my face where I pick my scab.

03:13:19.000 There is one, yeah.

03:13:20.000 Varicella, it's called.

03:13:21.000 Yeah.

03:13:22.000 Varicella.

03:13:23.000 I think, Jamie, you're talking about back before then.

03:13:25.000 They used to do that.

03:13:27.000 People would bring their kids over.

03:13:28.000 Someone had chickenpox.

03:13:29.000 You'd bring your kid over around that kid so you'd develop the antibodies.

03:13:33.000 You know, that's the other thing about diseases.

03:13:34.000 It's like...

03:13:36.000 Think about the flu.

03:13:37.000 How many times have you had the flu, but your friend didn't, and you were around them?

03:13:41.000 How many times have someone in your house, like your wife, have the flu, and you don't have it?

03:13:45.000 Or you do, and she doesn't get it.

03:13:47.000 What is the difference between someone who gets it and someone who doesn't?

03:13:50.000 It's not just contact.

03:13:52.000 It's also how well your body fights off that flu.

03:13:55.000 Your immune system.

03:13:56.000 And that's something I think is going to help all of us to concentrate on now.

03:14:01.000 You know, I really, really, really, really hope that that's what people get out of this. 0.99

03:14:05.000 This is the fucking kick in the ass you needed to get your life in order and to order your health. 1.00

03:14:10.000 Get your fucking immune system in order. 1.00

03:14:13.000 Get that workout program in, bitch! 1.00

03:14:15.000 Do something. 1.00

03:14:16.000 Do something!

03:14:17.000 Do something.

03:14:18.000 Do something.

03:14:18.000 Skip rope.

03:14:19.000 Just skip rope. 1.00

03:14:21.000 You think you're a bad motherfucker? 1.00

03:14:23.000 Skip some rope for 10 minutes every day. 1.00

03:14:25.000 You'd be shocked at how hard it is to skip rope for 10 minutes.

03:14:28.000 That's so good for you.

03:14:29.000 So good for you.

03:14:30.000 So simple.

03:14:31.000 Good for footwork.

03:14:32.000 Someone was talking about that at some football player.

03:14:34.000 I forget what the story was, but he was talking to this other football player's kid, or this other guy's kid, who wanted to play football, and he's like, do you skip rope?

03:14:44.000 And he's like, no.

03:14:45.000 He goes, well, why don't you skip rope?

03:14:47.000 That was the first thing that he said to him.

03:14:49.000 I was like, I don't know football.

03:14:51.000 For receivers and quarterbacks?

03:14:52.000 Or quarterbacks?

03:14:53.000 He was just saying just for football, period.

03:14:55.000 That's great work.

03:14:56.000 I think it's great.

03:14:56.000 There's a reason why people do it for striking, too.

03:14:59.000 When you're forced to bounce up and down on your ball, your feet like that, You get a way better sense of what your body's capable of in terms of movement.

03:15:09.000 When I was fighting, I used to do rounds inside the cage.

03:15:11.000 I'd do four or five minute rounds with a minute off of jump rope.

03:15:16.000 And I'd go in the ring and bounce back and forth. 1.00

03:15:18.000 Dude, jump rope's the shit. 1.00

03:15:20.000 I love jump rope. 1.00

03:15:21.000 Just think about how you're doing these little explosions over and over and over again, over and over and over again.

03:15:26.000 And then you can get good and mix it up in speed.

03:15:29.000 And you've developed these legs that can explode all the time.

03:15:32.000 For footwork, you're always on your feet. 1.00

03:15:35.000 And then you get that on it, that thick dick jump rope, that fucking rattlesnake jump rope. 1.00

03:15:40.000 That shit works your shoulders. 1.00

03:15:42.000 But it's just such an underrated exercise. 1.00

03:15:44.000 There's so many of them.

03:15:45.000 So simple, too.

03:15:45.000 I know.

03:15:46.000 That's one of the cool things.

03:15:47.000 There's some positives to this quarantine for some folks.

03:15:51.000 And one of those is you have the time to look at stuff more.

03:15:54.000 And that's one thing that maybe was just sitting there.

03:15:57.000 And people are like, I never thought about that for fitness.

03:15:59.000 But you're willing to go to take a SoulCycle class on the other side of town.

03:16:04.000 But you could just watch a YouTube video and jump rope and get a way harder workout in.

03:16:08.000 Burn way more calories.

03:16:09.000 And it's hard.

03:16:11.000 You don't have to go anywhere.

03:16:12.000 You can watch a movie.

03:16:13.000 Watch your favorite movie.

03:16:14.000 Watch The Godfather.

03:16:15.000 I used to go in my garage every morning, ride that Peloton. 0.99

03:16:18.000 I got a fucking bike now because of the quarantine. 0.99

03:16:21.000 What are you saying? 0.99

03:16:21.000 Part of the fun of those classes, Joe, is not just being by yourself. 0.99

03:16:24.000 Oh, being around hot roads.

03:16:25.000 Talking about them hoes. 1.00

03:16:26.000 Talking about them hot roads.

03:16:27.000 Them cycling hoes. 1.00

03:16:30.000 Brendan, I don't want you to piss your pants.

03:16:31.000 Thanks, dude.

03:16:32.000 Let's wrap this up.

03:16:34.000 TFATK.com, the Fighter and the Kid podcast, the King and the Sting podcast, Below the Bell podcast, Jesus Christ, Food Truck Diaries. 0.99

03:16:43.000 How many fucking... 1.00

03:16:44.000 Who hustles harder than you, man? 1.00

03:16:45.000 You do.

03:16:46.000 No, incorrect.

03:16:48.000 Love you, man.

03:16:48.000 I love you too, brother.

03:16:49.000 It was fun.

03:16:50.000 Bye, everybody.

03:16:52.000 That was fun, dude. 1.00

03:16:53.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

The Joe Rogan Experience - March 31, 2011

JRE MMA Show #94 with Brendan Schaub

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