The John-Henry Westen Show - October 10, 2024


After 25 years of marriage I regretted saying 'yes' but after 30 knew it was the greatest blessing


Episode Stats


Length

26 minutes

Words per minute

175.62039

Word count

4,593

Sentence count

341

Harmful content

Misogyny

11

sentences flagged

Hate speech

14

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, Pastor Ken teaches about the role of women in the creation of the world and the role that women have played in it since the fall of Adam and Eve and how their roles have changed since the time of the fall.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Women were just play toys of men. They were just used as men wanted to use them. 1.00
00:00:05.160 They dominated women. They were just another thing to own. And it was Mary that changed that 1.00
00:00:10.540 whole thing. When Christ came, the new Adam, and Mary, the new Eve, the whole position of women 1.00
00:00:17.560 changed. You had a beautiful observation about Adam and Eve. Tell us about that.
00:00:29.580 I grew up with three older brothers that abused me. My dad, one time when I asked him about it,
00:00:34.880 wasn't exactly kind in his answer. And then I'd had boyfriends who inevitably took advantage of me
00:00:40.740 or betrayed me in some way, made promises they didn't keep or said they'd do something and then
00:00:45.540 didn't, or it was just obvious they were just using me as an arm piece. Anyway, so by the time I grew
00:00:51.800 up, I didn't like men, even after 35 or 40 years of marriage. I love my boys. I love my children,
00:00:58.560 but men as a whole, I kind of found them, oh, an obnoxious, brutish kind of thing. I mean,
00:01:07.620 Christian men were much better because they'd been formed and in principle, you know, and I
00:01:13.220 occasionally met men that were real gentlemen. But for the most part, I didn't have much of an
00:01:18.460 opinion for the basic nature. I found that their ego, in my opinion, was really a major portion of
00:01:25.220 their, you know, being. So I was at church and I was talking to this guy, a man and his wife,
00:01:30.380 and they were good friends and we were laughing a lot. He made some comment and I go, oh yeah,
00:01:34.840 of course you'd think that way. Because of course you're a man. Oh, it's all me. I'm to conquer. I'm
00:01:44.280 the one. I was doing this in church. And I said, you men, all of you think that the whole world and
00:01:51.040 everything in it was made for you. And I stopped just like that. And they were laughing. I said,
00:01:58.420 wait a minute. It was just this, this sudden instant realization. And mind you, I'm in my
00:02:04.220 sixties at this point. And I go, and I turn and look at me and goes, wait a minute. It was made for
00:02:10.560 you. God made creation for Adam. He made all the animals for Adam. He made everything, the garden
00:02:20.300 for Adam. Eve wasn't in a picture until Adam said, I've looked at all the animals that you've created,
00:02:28.420 Lord, and there's nothing that I find suitable for me. And then God put Adam asleep and took a rib out
00:02:35.560 of his side and created woman who has fascinated and enchanted man ever since. But even woman was
00:02:43.360 created for Adam. That was like a bomb going off inside me. That really was. I spent probably the
00:02:52.360 next three years meditating on that and realizing what a deep and very important theological principle
00:03:00.620 it is. And in the course of that, I realized that God in every marriage repeats that initial
00:03:09.460 creation. My husband is my Adam. I am his Eve. You are your wife's Adam. She is your Eve. The principle
00:03:18.840 of what occurred in the garden, that the woman was the helpmate for the man and that the man was created
00:03:26.100 by God. He had authority. He had dominion in the garden. And then the wife was his helpmate and he 0.62
00:03:33.700 was to love her and husband her. And if you were agricultural, you'd understand the term husband her
00:03:41.880 in the agricultural sense. And she was to be his helpmate. And of course, if the fall hadn't happened,
00:03:51.260 everything would be in perfect order. And the husband would love her properly and they would
00:03:56.900 be on equal level and he would honor her and she would respect him and recognize his authority and
00:04:06.660 be in proper submission to the authority because he wouldn't be abusing the authority. But Adam fell.
00:04:12.820 And when he fell, the same domination he felt over the animals in the land, he wanted over his wife.
00:04:20.420 And that was part of the curse. You know, you, your heart will long for your husband, but he shall
00:04:25.780 lord it over you. And that's what you see in the Old Testament. Women were just play, make play toys 1.00
00:04:31.580 of men. They were just used as men wanted to use them. They dominated women. They were just another 0.99
00:04:37.040 thing to own. And it was Mary that changed that whole thing. When Christ came, the new 0.84
00:04:42.820 Adam and Mary, the new Eve, the whole position of women changed. And now women became the new Eve, 0.99
00:04:52.960 they were respected. And it was through Mary and through the teaching of Christ that the whole
00:04:58.760 doctrine of husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church and wives submit to your husband, 0.98
00:05:05.800 that whole doctrine began to rise up and to be taught, which was totally revolutionary back then.
00:05:11.880 And that was a real changing point for me. It changed the way that I approached my husband.
00:05:18.520 This October 17th and 18th, we are going to be running Rome Life Forum in Exile. We're doing that
00:05:25.960 in Kansas City, Missouri. This fine bishop, Bishop Joseph Strickland, sort of in exile, is going to be
00:05:31.300 joining us there as well as Dr. Janet Smith, as well as prophecy expert, Xavier Aral, and many more,
00:05:39.020 including a special guest. Hope to see you there. Hope to see you there. God bless you.
00:05:45.160 RomeLifeForum.com. Sign up now.
00:05:48.780 Well, just the beauty of that idea that God basically recreates Adam and Eve with every
00:05:56.820 married relationship, that in a sense, it's real that God chose. I mean, at one level,
00:06:03.720 we always think it's real. But to actually really contemplate, God chose your wife for you from all
00:06:11.060 eternity. He made her for you in a very real way and yourself for your wife. That recreation of Adam
00:06:19.640 and Eve in every married relationship, that's a stunning observation.
00:06:23.580 I think Christians generally recognize, you know, that the Lord has someone for you.
00:06:30.140 I mean, my best friend in high school had a boyfriend, right? And we, he and I were friends
00:06:38.920 aside from her. I had zero interest in this guy, completely. I mean, zero. There was never a thought
00:06:50.700 of betraying my friend in any way. The only thing we really talked about was her anyway,
00:06:56.100 you know, and because I knew her better. And so I could give him tips. If he'd done something like
00:07:01.000 that hurt her or something, I could help him understand what she needed. You know, it just
00:07:05.800 is true. And like with our sons, when they were starting to date, we tell them, look, no woman is 1.00
00:07:13.920 worth your soul. You got it. No mortal sin for, for some woman is worth your salvation. So don't do it. 1.00
00:07:24.160 But more importantly, you are the man and your responsibility is to show respect for the woman
00:07:33.280 and to show respect for the desire that the Lord gave her to surrender to you because her task is
00:07:40.580 submission to you. So it's your are the one that you're going to have to say, if she starts
00:07:45.760 becoming a little bit to whatever, you have to say, no. Number one, I love myself too much.
00:07:53.000 I'm not going to commit sin with you. But number two, I respect you too much and I'm not going to.
00:07:58.120 And in one relationship, one of my children, he came home and he said, man, it's really getting
00:08:02.400 hard, mom. And I said, are you the one? And she said, no, she's really pressuring it. And I said,
00:08:08.520 okay, next time you're in the car, you just look at it and you say, you stop acting like that or
00:08:13.280 breaking up because I'm not going to hell for you or for anybody else. And I'm not going to violate
00:08:18.260 you that way. You are worth more than that. And that's it. And then after the next date,
00:08:23.180 I came home, he came home. I said, how was he? He said, it worked like charm. She stopped everything.
00:08:27.680 And I said, great. And so they were able to continue and all the kids, you know, remain
00:08:32.440 chased. And it's because that dynamic, it's so essential. Women have a natural desire to surrender 1.00
00:08:41.560 to the authority of a man. It goes back to Adam and Eve. It's what we were created with.
00:08:46.520 The Abbot of Hocambo told me that one of the reasons they established their, one of their first
00:08:52.340 affiliates, it's not called that. I don't remember what it's called right now in America was because
00:08:58.580 they had eight or 10 American had monks. And he said, men are tied to the ground and the land that
00:09:05.200 they live in is very, very important to them. And as men get older, that doesn't get easier.
00:09:09.660 And I was watching it. He said, get harder and harder for these Americans to be away from their
00:09:14.580 country. And so he said, we wanted to get them back into the country. And they were, they were 1.00
00:09:19.920 much happier there. On the other hand, women are born from the side of man. They're born from 1.00
00:09:24.780 relationship. And so for them, they're not tied to the ground. Women are tied to the men they're 1.00
00:09:31.140 married to. That's why a woman can follow a man wherever she goes. And she can still be happy as long 1.00
00:09:36.400 as her home works, as long as the relationships in the house are good. She's happy. She doesn't
00:09:42.460 have to be on soil. Men are definitely tied to the soil and to, you know, they came from the earth and 1.00
00:09:48.340 they're tied to the earth and where they are is as important to them as the, and the relationships in a
00:09:53.780 way almost aren't as the work that they do is very important to them. And you can go back, you can just
00:09:58.960 see it in Adam and Eve. And it was a real, it's been a real help to me, John Henry, when I run into
00:10:06.640 times when I want to be angry at my husband to remember, oh, he's my Adam, you know, just give
00:10:13.880 him a break. I mean, this is part of being the man. God created the man that way. And if God did it,
00:10:19.280 then you need to just let it go. It's kind of thing. Indeed. One of the things you said that I found
00:10:23.240 stunning and I think would be a help for many people is the fasting that you watched your
00:10:29.640 husband do and that you do as well, but how that helped in your marriage. We got married. We knew
00:10:33.980 that the primary task of our marriage was to pass the faith on to our children. We knew that.
00:10:40.900 And we also knew that he and I were two very broken people and that we had no capacity for
00:10:47.280 really doing that. We knew we were utterly inadequate to the task. And we also knew that
00:10:55.140 Bob was the one that was going to be responsible for the discernment for the children and for our
00:11:00.680 family. Although really the fasting started as a result of this. Bob said, all right, let's do some
00:11:08.120 fasting and we'll do it all for the spiritual development of our children. We were terrified. I mean,
00:11:15.720 in our opinion, well, let me put it this way. Whenever I got pregnant, we would put our hands
00:11:21.820 on my tummy and we'd pray that the Holy Spirit would come and indwell this child and dwell and
00:11:29.140 infuse every cell as the cell was made, as this child developed. And we also prayed that if this
00:11:37.240 child was not going to grow up and serve the Lord and be the Lord's and seek the will of the Lord and do
00:11:43.800 it, then to take the child before it saw the light of day. Because in our opinion, there wasn't any
00:11:49.520 value in having human life. If it wasn't going to ultimately find its end in Christ and serve God's
00:11:55.860 will, we'd rather not bother and not even give birth to him. And I did have some miscarriages,
00:12:01.680 but we did that with every child. And that was because we wanted the Holy Spirit to be with them from
00:12:08.660 the moment of their, the very beginnings of their development, because we knew that we were so
00:12:13.860 inadequate and passing on the faith. If they didn't have the Holy Spirit already abiding in them to
00:12:20.040 help, we didn't figure they had a chance. So, but we also thought, well, you know, whenever you're
00:12:26.400 seeking something from heaven, like the Lord said to the apostles, yeah, they said, why couldn't we cast
00:12:32.000 out this demon? Well, this one requires fasting, you know? Well, we figured the same was true for this.
00:12:37.900 We were asking, in our opinion, a pretty tall order of the Lord to be able to pass the faith
00:12:42.320 on to the children. And so we thought we'd do it with fasting.
00:12:47.380 Pope Pius XI said, men must look for the peace of Christ in the kingdom of Christ. And he urged
00:12:55.000 that the faithful give public honor to Christ the King so that individuals and states would submit
00:13:00.060 once more to the rule of their savior. And that is why LifeSite News is raising up the image of
00:13:06.160 Christ the King across the United States. And you can help us reach millions more. Please pledge
00:13:12.540 your support today for these billboards at lifefunder.com slash Christ is King.
00:13:20.160 When we first started and we were both young, I was 24, he was 36, 37. I think he turned 37 by the time
00:13:28.400 and got married. And so our fasting was from dinner Thursday till breakfast Saturday, we just had
00:13:34.180 water and we didn't eat or anything. So we just had water. But then I was pregnant. I'd be pregnant
00:13:41.560 or nursing pretty much the first 15 to 20 years of our marriage. And he was older. And by the time
00:13:47.220 that lasted about three years or four years for him, when he got into his fifties, he began to notice
00:13:52.360 he'd be really dizzy. He would not be able to do his work well, and he knew he had to change it.
00:13:57.920 So we decided to do something that each of us could do just for the rest of our lives. And it wouldn't
00:14:03.700 matter what our state in life was. So what he did is he quit eating sugar on a Monday through Saturday,
00:14:10.240 and he only allowed himself to have anything with sugar in it on Sundays. And that was a huge penance
00:14:16.280 for him. I mean, the man's 87. It's still a hard penance for him to see everybody else having
00:14:22.520 dessert or everybody else stopping by and having an ice cream cone. And he says, no, he's not going
00:14:27.060 to have it. He loved ice cream. When I met him, he would eat half of a carton of ice cream for dessert
00:14:31.960 after dinner and never gain any weight. That was the killer. And I, you know, eat two teaspoons and
00:14:38.740 gain a couple of pounds. That's so frustrating. You know, anyway, that's beside the point. So that was a
00:14:44.500 penance he took on. And for me, after thinking about it and praying about it, I decided to start
00:14:51.380 wearing skirts because I only wore jeans from the time I, when I was five years old, I asked my
00:14:58.040 mother for two pairs of boys jeans for Christmas. It's the only gift I wanted. And once I got into
00:15:04.120 them, I knew I'd never, in fact, I slept with, I slept in my jeans for about the first month till mom
00:15:10.380 found out and forbid me to do it. I didn't ever want to take them off anyway. So that was all I
00:15:15.740 wore. And so then I, I made the commitment to, to stay in skirts and it has proven to be a difficult
00:15:23.820 commitment because you climb up on ladders or you want to do anything like that. You know, you can't,
00:15:29.300 it's not as easy as in pants. It's just easier to clean a house in pants. And, you know, one of the
00:15:34.140 things I loved about pants is that when I was eaten a little bit too much and beginning to gain weight,
00:15:39.220 your pants and let you know, skirts just expand with you, you know, you could be 10 or 15 pounds 1.00
00:15:45.600 overweight real quick and never know. And so, yes, we did that. And we offered it for the spiritual
00:15:51.040 development of our children. And I found that the Lord heard the prayer and honored the prayer.
00:15:57.040 And I noticed that the wisdom of my husband grew with his fasting and it began to be where
00:16:05.100 he would inevitably make the right decision. And in times of crisis, like, you know, when kids,
00:16:13.800 especially when you're first married, your kids are crying, your babies are crying, you don't know
00:16:17.000 what's wrong and you get really scared and nothing helps. And, you know, there's always that visit to
00:16:22.680 the, to the ER to find out, Oh yeah, that's just gas. Give him this, you know, whatever. And,
00:16:29.560 but I knew I could trust my husband when the kids fell down and they might have a broken arm or
00:16:34.740 something. I knew that my husband would just pray a little bit and I, whatever he decided it was
00:16:40.340 always right. And I knew that came from his fasting. And then as the kids got older, he was a superb
00:16:46.680 disciplinarian and he would take the kids into the bedroom, hear their story, call whoever else was
00:16:53.720 there, call the other kid that was complaining, hear their story, find out if there were any
00:16:59.060 witnesses, hear the witnesses story. And then he'd assemble the kids and he'd say, okay, so here's
00:17:05.700 where it began. You made this comment and this is where your sin was because you were mad because
00:17:12.580 they had something you couldn't have. Now that sin then resulted in this and then whatever. And then
00:17:20.160 he'd go down and show how each of their actions either stopped or whatever. And he dismissed the
00:17:27.420 people that didn't have anything to do with it. And then he'd meet out punishment according to the
00:17:31.200 degree that they were responsible for whatever came up. And, um, Oh my goodness. I just, I just
00:17:38.160 loved him to death for that. And needless to say, the kids have all grown up into pretty good.
00:17:42.860 Uh, they're really good about resolving conflicts because they had such a good teacher to teach
00:17:47.460 them what to look for. Beautiful. What your, your kids are, are almost all faithful. You, you have
00:17:53.480 13 kids, two of whom are priests. It is incredible. I mean, in today's day and age, um, give us the
00:18:00.260 ages. What's your oldest and what's your youngest? Oh dear. Are you sure they want their ages? So
00:18:05.100 let's put it this way. I've got one, two, three, four. Let me think a minute. Five in their forties
00:18:15.660 and the oldest in their forties is, I think he's going to be 50 next year. Okay. And they're,
00:18:21.080 they're stair step down. So it's going to be, let me see. Yeah. Yeah. 20, 25. So he'll be 50. And
00:18:27.780 then when, by the time 25 ends, it'll be 50, 49, 47, 45, 42, 40, 38, uh, 36. One of the adopted
00:18:40.180 children will also be 36 and then 34, uh, for my youngest. And then the next one will be 33 and
00:18:50.460 then one will be 30. That's another adopted child. And then the youngest will be turning 23. So that's
00:18:57.840 what they'll all be by the end of 2025. And, um, we had nine of our own and all of them are faithful
00:19:05.960 Catholics. All of them are devout. All of them are, are practicing the faith and they are already
00:19:11.460 passing on that faith to their children. And you know, what's really neat, uh, John Henry, my son,
00:19:18.620 father, Dan, when he was in the military and he was in charge, he was a captain. He fasted for his men
00:19:27.180 the whole time that he was in there. He said, dad showed me what being a father would be and what a
00:19:33.880 good father should do. And I know that I am like a father to these men. He'd help them get, overcome
00:19:41.480 their drug habits. He'd help them find, he'd have them take online classes. He'd watch for,
00:19:48.560 cause a lot of these men were from ghetto areas and hadn't had a lot of advantage. And he'd watch for
00:19:55.120 a particular trait or a strong point they had and talked to them about developing it. Um, and he would
00:20:02.680 fast for them. And it's interesting that he was in the battle of on Nazaria. His, his group was there
00:20:09.340 and in that whole war, not one man of his, nor he received a single scratch. Wow. Yeah. That's how
00:20:17.980 powerful fasting is on the part of the one that's in charge. I am certain that my husband's fasting
00:20:23.740 made all the difference in our family. It's very powerful, very powerful tool. And that was so cool.
00:20:30.020 When I heard that, I told him, I said, I'm so proud of you. That's so cool. He said, well,
00:20:33.760 that's what dad did. So I'm a father now. So that's what I should do. And I know that he's
00:20:38.100 fast for his parishioners. I know he does on a regular basis. If you can tell us now, um, just
00:20:45.980 what your heart is for your husband at this point. It's funny cause you, you've, you've had such a
00:20:51.800 difficult relationship and you were warned in a way by the Bishop and the nun who were offering their
00:20:57.380 prayers for you, but where are you now in terms of your relationship?
00:21:01.560 Well, I'll tell you what, at 25 years of marriage, I went to my husband and I said, okay, now for our
00:21:07.200 25th wedding anniversary, you're going to, we're going to have a mass and whatnot. Do not ask me to
00:21:11.420 repeat my vows because I will say no, flat out. No. And he said, what, what do you mean? He said,
00:21:18.660 don't you think God brought us together? No, I don't. And knowing what I know now,
00:21:23.220 I would never do this again ever. So just don't ask. That's where I was at 25 at 30 years. It was
00:21:32.520 like, oh my gosh, this man was the greatest blessing that Bob could, that God could possibly
00:21:37.920 have given me. Oh my gosh. I mean, he was my hero, you know, so much had just, just things that the
00:21:45.140 Lord had shown me and things I was able to see. And I began to understand his person. I began to
00:21:50.820 understand more how hard it had been for him and how difficult a woman with my personality was for
00:21:56.360 him, you know, et cetera. And I just, I just had changed. Now at 50 years, I just can't imagine
00:22:04.460 life without him. I really can't. I've wondered a lot of times, I'm sure he'll probably die before
00:22:10.220 I will because he's 13 years older than I am, although he might not. But I've thought, what am I
00:22:16.160 going to do? I'm going to feel really lost. I love him, but it's a depth of love that's very
00:22:22.140 different, but it's a love that no longer cares. I don't care what happens to me. It's all, it just,
00:22:28.160 as long as he's comfortable, as long as he's happy, I'm just want to meet his needs. That's what I'm
00:22:33.300 here for. Have you eaten? What would you like to eat? Oh, you're not particularly hungry. What would
00:22:39.060 you like me to just fix this? You know, I'm going to make sure I get the bed made, put the sheets on.
00:22:44.340 He likes, you know, just those sorts of things. But spiritually, he's grown into a very holy man.
00:22:52.820 I have no worry. In fact, one time, for various reasons, I don't have time to go into,
00:23:01.000 Our Lady came to me. I was appealing to her to give me an answer for a situation that had arisen.
00:23:07.500 And one of the things in the course of our conversation, she said, is it is the Father's
00:23:11.740 will that both you and your husband go straight to heaven when you die, which is, but you have
00:23:17.600 sins that you've committed that would normally require purgatory time. But the Father has decided
00:23:23.980 that he will allow you to work that off here. But this is the suffering, and it was what I was praying
00:23:29.460 about, that he has laid on you in order to accomplish that. And it's a very heavy suffering.
00:23:36.660 And, and then, of course, I just became joyful in suffering, because now I knew the reason. I
00:23:42.120 thought, well, that's incredible and merciful. So I don't have a lot of worry that that either of us
00:23:47.660 are going to be lost when we die. And yeah, just, I don't know, yeah, the love of my life. And we have
00:23:55.240 become one. Against all odds, we have definitely become one. And our hearts beat very much together.
00:24:05.100 It's very rare now that, I mean, yeah, I can look at him and know how he's feeling. I can look at his
00:24:11.180 eyes, I can see and can tell what he's probably thinking. You know, even when he does things that
00:24:16.620 may seem inexplicable, I can usually tell you what the motive probably was behind him. And it's very
00:24:22.500 peaceful, very calm, very enjoyable, a very quiet love. The path of the priest that did the wedding
00:24:32.020 for my child that got married first said about the wedding feast at Cana, it is so typical of God to
00:24:38.240 save the best for last. And that's what he does in a marriage. The early years are going to be storming
00:24:43.360 and working things out. The middle years are going to be, you know, probably working on yourself,
00:24:47.720 but he saves the best for last and the two shall become one. And that has absolutely come true.
00:24:53.560 I can't imagine life married to any other man. And I've never ever looked at another man and I
00:24:59.320 wouldn't want to be married to anyone else. But I realized too, in my old age, the beauty of that man
00:25:07.560 for me, I would not be the woman I am today. And quite frankly, I like who I've become today
00:25:14.120 without him. And it was precisely his weaknesses that required the most of me. It was his weaknesses
00:25:22.100 that burned off me. I was selfish. I had very little compassion, very little empathy.
00:25:31.540 He is tenderhearted and melancholic. And I had to develop selflessness, compassion, and empathy
00:25:39.020 in order to be able to really love him fully. And so it's been our marriage that has made me who I am
00:25:46.300 today. And I'm sure he would say the same. And he's a very beautiful man now.
00:25:51.600 Trish Nolan, it's been amazing. Your life story is such a beautiful inspiration for other people.
00:25:59.080 I think your story is going to give a lot of people hope, encouragement, and inspiration.
00:26:03.140 God bless you, Trish. And thank you.
00:26:05.260 Thank you.
00:26:06.340 And God bless all of you. And we'll see you next time.