The John-Henry Westen Show - Authentically Catholic psychotherapy based on St. Thomas Aquinas Aquinas

00:00:00.000 One of the topics which receives far too little attention today is the devastating impact of the modern world on our mental and emotional well-being.

00:00:07.800 But this impacts all of us, and often tragically.

00:00:11.500 As Catholics, we know that God can heal all our sufferings, but we also know that He works actively in the world and in His Church.

00:00:19.160 Many with emotional and mental sufferings don't know where to turn or where to get help when they need it, especially finding someone they can trust.

00:00:26.420 One little-known individual who has helped thousands of people is Conrad Barz.

00:00:32.500 Barz's system of affirmation therapy, based on the teaching of St. Thomas Aquinas, is perhaps one of the least-known and most-needed remedies to the sufferings that many today endure.

00:00:44.940 I'm going to be speaking today to a man whose life work is to communicate to people the most essential truths we all need to know and be reminded of.

00:00:54.600 That God loves us, that He made us perfect in His image, that though we are fallen through the incredible love God has for us, He calls us to live in His friendship in the most beautiful and compassionate way.

00:01:08.180 And that is, it's possible, however much we've suffered, or however much we've ourselves departed from God's friendship, to return to Him, to find peace in our lives, and to find peace within ourselves.

00:01:20.880 Stay tuned.

00:01:24.600 Let's begin, as we always do, with the sign of the cross.

00:01:42.920 In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

00:01:47.380 We're speaking today with Christopher McDonald, who is a therapist practicing Conrad Barz's therapy.

00:01:57.740 So, welcome to the program.

00:01:59.700 Thank you, John Henry. Thank you for having me on.

00:02:02.120 Chris, if you can tell us a little bit about Conrad Barz.

00:02:05.160 Who is this fellow, and what has he developed?

00:02:07.820 Well, Conrad Barz and his partner, Anna Terua, are both of the Netherlands.

00:02:14.880 And in the 1940s, they were both psychoanalysts following the theories of Freud.

00:02:20.620 And they were both disillusioned by the therapy, first and foremost, because it wasn't effective.

00:02:29.420 They didn't feel it was effective enough.

00:02:31.600 But also because it wasn't consummate with the teachings of the church about human nature.

00:02:39.760 Freud had a lot of good things to say, but at the same time, they felt it wasn't quite right.

00:02:45.940 It wasn't fully the truth.

00:02:47.400 And so they were both disillusioned, and they came across Thomas Aquinas through a redemptorist priest

00:02:55.040 who showed them Aquinas' work on human nature.

00:03:01.640 And when they read the work, they found that it confirmed their own experience with clients.

00:03:08.220 And so they decided to develop a system of therapy based on the writings of Aquinas,

00:03:15.220 as well as some of the modern discoveries that are well-established in psychology.

00:03:20.740 So what are the main aspects of this therapy?

00:03:23.860 One of the key aspects of the therapy is the concept of affirmation.

00:03:31.780 And affirmation is, as Barz and Terua have written about,

00:03:38.020 is quite different from the affirmation that we hear about in pop psychology.

00:03:43.920 It has nothing to do with positive statements that we may say to ourselves or to others,

00:03:49.580 you know, standing in the mirror and running through these lists of positive statements.

00:03:53.660 It has absolutely nothing to do with that.

00:03:55.420 Another key part of the Barz and Terua model is that human beings are basically rational,

00:04:05.600 and that though we have our emotions, and our emotions are very, very important,

00:04:11.220 and they give us important information and they support us,

00:04:14.140 that our free will and rationality are key to living a Christian life, a good life, and being happy.

00:04:26.860 So it's not like the affirmation.

00:04:30.180 We hear a lot about affirmation today, in fact.

00:04:32.520 A lot of psychologists will tell you today,

00:04:35.100 we really have to affirm people in where they're at.

00:04:37.960 You know, if someone presents as transgender or LGBT or whatnot,

00:04:41.520 you have to affirm them in that.

00:04:43.700 That's not what we're talking about, is it?

00:04:45.340 No, it's not what we're talking about at all.

00:04:47.540 What affirmation is, is the idea is to make firm affirmation, to make solid a person.

00:04:55.460 Jesus is the model affirmer. 1.00

00:04:58.520 Jesus strengthens us.

00:05:01.920 A way of looking at affirmation is it's simply love, but from a psychological perspective.

00:05:08.980 In this therapy, you deal also with different forms of denial that people have.

00:05:14.220 Maybe you can tell us a little bit about that.

00:05:16.240 Denial in this context has nothing to do with Freudian denial,

00:05:21.100 the defense mechanism of denial.

00:05:24.140 In this case, it's the opposite of affirmation.

00:05:27.480 It's to deny the person,

00:05:30.680 it's to deny the beauty and presence,

00:05:36.520 true presence of that person.

00:05:37.980 If I'd explain affirmation a little bit,

00:05:42.420 it's, as we said, it's love, but looking at it from a psychological point of view.

00:05:47.680 When we're born, we're born biologically.

00:05:51.700 We're alive, but we're not psychologically alive yet.

00:05:55.900 We haven't received our psychological bones.

00:05:58.880 And that comes through other people, mainly our parents.

00:06:02.340 And our parents are there principally to affirm us.

00:06:08.540 And what they're doing is they are being completely present to us,

00:06:15.540 and they are perceiving our unique goodness.

00:06:18.980 So when I receive my psychological burden,

00:06:22.840 I am experiencing not only my goodness, but my unique goodness,

00:06:28.260 that I am like no other, that I'm a unique expression of God.

00:06:32.100 Now, that's something that's, you know, we can all say,

00:06:35.080 oh, that's true, and that's good, that's nice.

00:06:37.340 But to actually feel that, to actually experience that.

00:06:41.340 And it's not something, when you have that,

00:06:42.820 it's not something you can describe to somebody.

00:06:44.780 You can't write an essay about it,

00:06:46.780 or it can't be reduced to a list of traits.

00:06:50.160 It's just, it's experienced and understood by that person

00:06:54.660 who has his psychic burden.

00:06:57.340 Unfortunately, in our society today,

00:06:59.080 most people do not have that, or it's very weakened.

00:07:03.500 There isn't this sense of my own unique goodness.

00:07:10.040 And so it's principally for parents and other educators

00:07:13.160 that would give that.

00:07:14.320 It's interesting, even as a concept to know

00:07:16.760 and to understand that parents are to do this,

00:07:20.160 because speaking as a parent myself,

00:07:22.280 I've, you know, I've had eight children,

00:07:24.180 but the understanding, going into parenthood

00:07:27.320 with the understanding that really is, in a way,

00:07:30.720 your job to convey to your children

00:07:33.160 that they are unique creatures of God Almighty,

00:07:36.980 that they are children of God more so

00:07:38.520 than they are children of your own as a parent.

00:07:40.800 Even that, it's, for the most part, lost.

00:07:45.440 You know, there's not a parenting manual,

00:07:48.460 for the most part, that many use.

00:07:51.260 Well, what I was talking about was emotional affirmation.

00:07:54.700 We talked about the psychic birth,

00:07:56.700 that, again, we come to experience our own unique goodness.

00:08:00.260 But there is another aspect,

00:08:02.020 and we call it intellectual affirmation.

00:08:04.760 And intellectual affirmation is instilling objective truth,

00:08:08.580 in, say, into our children.

00:08:11.020 Or helping to draw that out,

00:08:12.660 helping the children to see the eternal truths,

00:08:16.520 knowing that that's going to free them

00:08:18.380 and bring them happiness.

00:08:20.040 So there's that aspect of affirmation as well.

00:08:22.580 How did you come to discover this?

00:08:25.260 Because, I mean, I, you know,

00:08:27.020 I was in psychology myself prior to this life that I'm in now,

00:08:30.540 and really did not come across this in my studies.

00:08:34.340 Where did you come across, Conrad Bars?

00:08:36.080 I came across it through somebody that I met,

00:08:39.620 and she had an agency.

00:08:42.020 She was dedicated to the Bars True model back in the 90s. 0.84

00:08:47.320 And she felt that I had a vocation to this kind of work.

00:08:51.820 And first I resisted.

00:08:53.500 I was in graduate school.

00:08:54.740 I was doing some teaching and involved in literature.

00:08:58.180 And she felt, no, you're actually the kind of person we want.

00:09:02.620 So she trained me, and then I worked in the agency,

00:09:06.360 and then I went into private practice.

00:09:08.980 I was introduced to it, and I was blown away,

00:09:12.560 just like everybody else is who reads it.

00:09:14.860 What do you think that Bars' therapy has for us today, especially?

00:09:19.320 Because we're in a very unique time in history.

00:09:21.460 There's just an unbelievable amount of distortion going on,

00:09:27.620 a breakup of just, there's a lot of mental sickness.

00:09:31.440 Even today is not even recognized as mental sickness.

00:09:34.240 It's affirmed in that negative way.

00:09:37.400 And yet there's such suffering out there.

00:09:40.240 How do you feel that the Bars method really applies today?

00:09:44.020 John Henry, there's a true pandemic out there,

00:09:46.220 and it's not coronavirus.

00:09:47.160 It's this, it's a lack of affirmation.

00:09:51.420 It's deprivation.

00:09:53.360 And people don't name it.

00:09:54.800 They don't know what it is, but they're frustrated.

00:09:57.960 They feel unloved.

00:09:59.500 They feel inferior, inadequate,

00:10:02.420 accompanying depression, anxiety.

00:10:05.440 They feel like children in adult bodies, essentially.

00:10:09.940 And they're not sure why.

00:10:11.660 And they have a hard time surviving.

00:10:16.020 They have a hard time just living.

00:10:18.500 And they're, it's very difficult for them to fully realize their vocation to serve God

00:10:23.660 because they're, they're essentially licking their wounds.

00:10:27.540 They're just trying to survive, which of course is going to affect their church.

00:10:31.400 But this is, this is pervasive among all strata of society, all races.

00:10:36.960 Doesn't matter if you come from money or you don't come from money.

00:10:39.740 If you don't have truly loving, authentically affirming parents or somebody in your life,

00:10:46.980 you're going to, you're going to have problems.

00:10:49.320 So you look at the breakdown of the family today,

00:10:51.940 and you look how the family's being destructured today.

00:10:55.440 This is having a devastating effect on the children who grow up,

00:10:59.180 and they're not adequately affirmed.

00:11:02.540 So they cannot adequately affirm their children.

00:11:05.620 And it goes on and on.

00:11:06.820 And you see the slow erosion of the family, the slow erosion of society,

00:11:11.140 the slow erosion of, if I may say so, of the church.

00:11:14.200 How do you find that this is playing out?

00:11:16.020 Can you sort of identify in our culture some things that really is this lack of affirmation

00:11:21.720 that's really playing out?

00:11:23.000 You might say that we live in a culture of the unaffirmed. 0.86

00:11:26.940 It's so pervasive that we've created a culture around being unaffirmed. 0.99

00:11:35.440 So if you notice, everything is about not wanting to offend anybody,

00:11:39.880 not wanting to hurt anybody's feelings.

00:11:42.480 And what that really is, if I'm saying, I'm okay, you're okay,

00:11:45.260 and I won't say anything, and I won't manifest any quote-unquote microaggressions against you,

00:11:52.960 what I'm really saying is, don't be mad at me.

00:11:56.200 I don't want to make you mad at me because it'll make me feel rejected and unloved.

00:12:02.360 So you've got this society of very fragile people,

00:12:05.540 and everybody is protecting themselves.

00:12:09.240 And so we create these false ideologies to justify and to rationalize this vulnerability that we have.

00:12:19.740 And you can see this, for example, in the whole woke culture.

00:12:23.360 You see this in this idea of microaggression, don't hurt my feelings.

00:12:29.820 But at the same time, one of the key elements of being unaffirmed is frustration.

00:12:34.560 And you don't have to look too far.

00:12:36.680 If you look in the riots that took place in the United States over the summer,

00:12:40.780 you see the frustration.

00:12:43.560 And I would say that the real frustration that these people are experiencing

00:12:47.520 is not so much an unjust society.

00:12:51.120 It's that they're feeling unaffirmed.

00:12:53.300 They're feeling unloved, and they don't know why.

00:12:57.480 And so they'll take it out.

00:12:59.320 They'll displace the anger.

00:13:01.360 When you have that psychic birth, you have a sense of identity, that I am unique.

00:13:07.860 I am good and unique.

00:13:09.440 But if you don't have that sense of identity, you attach to the identity of the group.

00:13:15.460 So if it be Black Lives Matter or Antifa, just name the group.

00:13:20.100 My identity comes from that group because I don't have my own identity.

00:13:26.000 And of course, as we can see, that's a very dangerous thing.

00:13:28.400 Part of the – I mean, we deal with a lot of hard situations.

00:13:35.460 And one of the things that happens is people have a lot of deficits

00:13:39.980 and sometimes disabilities and so on.

00:13:43.720 But how are they to be affirmed?

00:13:46.360 And so, you know, people might say, oh, yeah, of course I want to identify with somebody else

00:13:51.820 because I've got all sorts of problems and issues.

00:13:54.900 And so how can I be affirmed?

00:13:56.300 I'm no good at school.

00:13:57.360 I'm not, you know, I'm not a star at this or that.

00:14:00.760 I'm poor athletically or whatever.

00:14:03.520 Where is their affirmation?

00:14:05.200 Well, there is affirmation where there is authentic love.

00:14:07.840 And the good news is that if you didn't get the affirmation as a child, you can still get it.

00:14:16.200 It's – the book is not closed on you.

00:14:19.460 That if you need that kind of psychological development, you can get it by being in the presence of people

00:14:28.260 who are authentically affirming.

00:14:29.900 That might mean you might have to go to – they can seek professional help.

00:14:34.720 That's fine.

00:14:36.040 But there may be people that you know.

00:14:38.880 There may be certain religious who are just very authentically loving people who can really help you and help you develop.

00:14:48.140 You know, there was – I was – two people come to mind when I think of people who have grown up in very difficult circumstances.

00:14:57.200 Two people – one is Ben Carson and the other one is Clarence Thomas.

00:15:03.440 They were both very poor.

00:15:05.460 They suffered a lot.

00:15:07.540 But each of them had very affirming people in his life.

00:15:13.180 Ben Carson had his mother and Clarence Thomas had his grandfather.

00:15:18.440 And they were affirming presences that strengthened them.

00:15:21.520 And they were able to make it through and come out with a – an esteem and solidity and a confidence.

00:15:33.180 And even if they were poor, even if – as these two were, they were very poor.

00:15:39.620 They were very deprived in our society.

00:15:42.700 But they were able to make it through and come out of the poverty because they had affirming, loving people in their lives.

00:15:49.340 That's the true poverty.

00:15:52.120 It's not a lack of stuff.

00:15:54.260 It's a lack of affirmation.

00:15:56.300 One of the probably complications, I guess you'd say, or of today's day and age is that people drown themselves not in communication with people per se, but in – well, sort of communication with people.

00:16:11.120 They're mostly distracted on their devices.

00:16:12.840 You know, I think people are spending countless hours today distracted from life on their devices.

00:16:21.360 And how would that fit in to what Barr's taught?

00:16:25.940 In this day and age, we have all kinds of escapisms.

00:16:29.140 And what is it we're escaping?

00:16:30.700 What is it we want to escape?

00:16:32.360 We essentially want to escape our feelings.

00:16:34.140 Because if I'm feeling bad about myself, if I'm feeling despair, depressed, anxious, I want something that's going to try to give me some kind of relief, distract me from my feelings.

00:16:46.840 We have a whole host of things.

00:16:49.260 And unfortunately, that is the formula for addictions.

00:16:54.100 And so people are very unaffirmed.

00:16:57.200 They fall easily to addictions because they're looking for that – they're looking to be affirmed.

00:17:03.160 They're looking for this good feeling.

00:17:05.620 They're looking for joy.

00:17:07.140 That's what they're looking for.

00:17:08.640 And those video games can give them that shot in the arm.

00:17:12.320 Unfortunately, it's limited.

00:17:14.280 It doesn't last.

00:17:15.780 And then it registers in the brain.

00:17:18.560 And the brain says, yes, but this activity, you know, it made you high.

00:17:24.220 Go back to it.

00:17:26.000 And so we see distractions, addictions, all kinds of escapisms taking place in our society.

00:17:34.360 And we have to call it for what it is.

00:17:37.740 This therapy is started by a Catholic and is a Catholic itself.

00:17:43.740 So how might Our Lady, for instance, play into this? 0.98

00:17:48.560 If you think of Our Lady, you think of someone – think of the Magnificat, for example.

00:17:55.680 Someone who's completely open and receptive, who's pondering the love of God in her heart.

00:18:03.860 And one of the key aspects of healing in this therapy is learning how to be receptive.

00:18:14.040 We have two modes.

00:18:15.600 Human beings have two modes.

00:18:16.660 We have an active mode and a receptive mode.

00:18:19.860 And both are important, but actually it's the receptivity that's primary.

00:18:27.220 And by opening ourselves, we allow ourselves to receive God's love, whether it be through other people or, say, through nature, for example, or through God directly.

00:18:38.640 But when people run firm, they're often very self-protective.

00:18:43.400 So they're closed up in themselves.

00:18:46.520 They're vulnerable.

00:18:48.140 They feel vulnerable.

00:18:49.000 They do not want to open themselves.

00:18:50.700 So it's trying to gently coax the client to open him or herself to receive the love of God that comes through the therapist or other people that are in the dark zone.

00:19:04.380 How can people access this?

00:19:06.200 Because, you know, I myself live in Canada.

00:19:08.880 It's illegal to do reparative therapy for LGBT people to try and get those who even want to leave the homosexual lifestyle to give them help. 0.92

00:19:23.540 It's somehow illegal to do that.

00:19:25.880 So how can people get this when they might be cut off?

00:19:29.680 I don't know.

00:19:30.360 I didn't hear of it when I was in psychology.

00:19:32.400 I presume most won't have access to it.

00:19:35.420 How are people able to access this?

00:19:37.180 For example, there's CatholicTherapist.com.

00:19:40.500 And it's Alison Machadi's website.

00:19:43.700 She's the founder of it.

00:19:45.580 And you can look and find there's a section of the rubric, Find a Therapist.

00:19:49.560 And it's international.

00:19:51.800 And you can look specifically for the Bars and Chirula model, those who practice that. 0.98

00:19:57.200 And then you can call them and either schedule something in person or by distance.

00:20:04.860 So there is that.

00:20:06.260 You can also go on to the Dr. Bars website, Conrad Bars.

00:20:10.320 It's B-A-A-R-S dot com. 1.00

00:20:13.260 And there'll be some very important information on there for people.

00:20:16.460 What would be, you know, some last thoughts that you have that you'd want to share about

00:20:22.440 this therapy, about our need for it right now, and about its potential benefits?

00:20:29.880 Well, I think that first and foremost, this therapy offers real hope for people.

00:20:37.220 And that it stays within the boundaries of what the Church teaches about God and about man.

00:20:43.580 And so it is anchored in the truth.

00:20:49.700 Now, of course, the truth is a mystery.

00:20:51.580 We don't fully understand truth because God is the truth.

00:20:56.100 How can we understand God fully?

00:20:58.240 But God has revealed himself to us.

00:21:02.020 And the Church, in its wisdom through the Holy Spirit, has been able to give a lot of information

00:21:09.580 and understanding to people.

00:21:12.680 And this therapy utilizes the wisdom of the Church.

00:21:17.040 And I've seen in my own practice the effectiveness that it has.

00:21:23.640 And I would say, and I have to say, it's interesting, that those people who see me who are already

00:21:29.040 practicing Christians who have a true love for God, they do heal much more quickly than those 0.99

00:21:37.340 that do not.

00:21:37.820 Thank you, Chris, so very much for being with us on this episode of The John Henry Weston

00:21:41.320 Show.

00:21:42.280 And if people wanted to reach out to you, are they able to do so?

00:21:46.220 Or would you prefer that, you know, they just go to the catholictherapist.com?

00:21:50.360 It's best to go to catholictherapist.com.

00:21:52.540 They could find you there.

00:21:53.880 Excellent.

00:21:54.520 God bless all of you, and we'll catch you next time.

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The John-Henry Westen Show - April 06, 2021

Authentically Catholic psychotherapy based on St. Thomas Aquinas Aquinas

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