Emma Watson, Selena Gomez, & Britney Spears ’marry’ themselves？
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode of The John Henry Weston Show, host J. Henry Weston discusses the growing trend of women choosing to marry themselves, and why people are celebrating and encouraging it. Why is this happening, and what could be the reason for it?
Transcript
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Will you commit to never giving up until your dying day?
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Do you commit to praying and finding the answers within yourself?
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Have you seen the trend of women marrying themselves?
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I thought it was actually a joke at first, but nope.
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It's a new thing, and it's been even given a name.
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They call it sologamy or sologamy or something like that.
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But anyway, so we've seen people being forced into marriage.
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We've seen people marrying persons of the same sex.
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We've even seen people marrying animals or even inanimate objects.
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But now we also have people marrying themselves.
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What could actually motivate someone to go down this kind of bizarre road?
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And maybe even more importantly, why are people celebrating this and encouraging what seems so very sad?
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That's what we're going to get into on this episode of The John Henry Weston Show.
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And after you watch this show, please comment below to tell us what you think.
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We are just about to have the Synod on Synodality.
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And everything that you've seen indicates that it's going to be an absolute disaster.
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We have Father James Martin as a personal appointee of the Pope speaking at it.
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These picks of the Pope to engage in this Synod are indicative of where we're going.
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And at these times of great crisis, the Church, especially those called in the laity to work for the glory of Christ and His Church, are called to gather and strategize.
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Back in 2014, LifeSite launched something called Rome Life Forum.
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It was a gathering at that point of some 75 life and family leaders from all around the world to strategize as to what we could do.
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And when we gathered, the majority of people were most concerned about what?
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About Pope Francis, about what was going on in Rome.
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Now, a decade on, we are confronted with some of the most severe challenges the Church has ever faced.
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And so, our tradition at LifeSite is to continue with Rome Life Forum, which has continued every year until we had to take a break over COVID because we weren't permitted.
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And then, please come, if you feel so called, to Rome, October 31st and November 1st, the very end of the Synod on Synodality.
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And we'll be there to strategize with His Eminence, with His Excellency, and with many life and family leaders from around the world.
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Let's begin, as you always do, with the sign of the cross.
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In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.
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So, along with all of the other confusions that we've seen of late surrounding the purpose of sex and marriage,
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along comes this other new trend that really does distort and undermine marriage.
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The first published case of someone having a ceremony to marry herself was way back in 1993,
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when Linda Baker, an American woman, paved the way for the ultimate display,
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at least some would say, is the ultimate display of narcissism.
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But since then, multiple celebrities have encouraged this idea, starting with Emma Watson, Selena Gomez, and Britney Spears, to name just a few.
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Let's talk about these women and see what's going on here.
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So, first off, in a British Vogue interview, in November of 2019, Emma Watson talked about turning 30 years old.
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And this clip has gone viral over the past number of months.
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So, I was like, why does everyone make such a big fuss about turning 30?
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And I'm like, oh, my God, I feel so stressed and anxious.
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And I realize it's because there is suddenly this bloody influx of subliminal messaging around if you do not have a, if you have not built a home,
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if you do not have a husband, if you do not have a baby, and you are turning 30,
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and you're not in some, like, incredibly, like, secure, stable place in your career, you're still figuring things out.
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There's just, like, this incredible amount of anxiety.
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Now, she makes mention of this realization, which is one that actually conservatives have talked about for many, many years,
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that at a certain point, most women value having a family more than their career successes.
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In fact, Jordan Peterson has mentioned this, to name only one person.
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However, in response, she proceeds to make this comment about her attitude toward relationships later in the interview.
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I never believed the whole I'm happy single spiel.
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Isn't it interesting, the stuff that we take in and have to unpack?
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Now, we're going to come back to this in a moment, but let's talk about Selena Gomez.
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So Selena Gomez turned 30 recently, and she threw herself a party.
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And afterwards, she discussed it with Rolling Stone magazine, saying,
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I thought I would be married by now, so I threw myself a wedding.
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Now, this wedding or birthday party went all the way complete with red roses,
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a wedding dress from 16 Arlington Bridal, and all of her friends and family in attendance.
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And she's not the only celebrity throwing herself a wedding.
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In an Instagram Live back in December of 2022, 40-year-old Britney Spears posted herself
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in a silk dress and veil with the caption that she, you know, that she was getting married.
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She proceeded to repost the photos from this event in the following months.
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Now, outside the bubble of the celebrity world, women all over the world are starting to have
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these ceremonies as well. In June of 2022, a woman brought this trend to India. Take a look.
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And another woman married herself in December of 2022, taking her vows in front of a mirror.
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She described her ceremony on an episode of Dr. Phil. Look at this clip.
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Will you commit to never giving up until your dying day? Do you promise to give yourself grace?
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Do you commit to praying and finding the answers within yourself? Do you promise to value yourself?
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Yes, I do. Now that woman, Dani Adams, goes on to explain that not only did she marry herself at
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this wedding, but she also invited all of her guests to do the same. Watch.
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I spent $4,000 on my wedding. I had nine bridesmaids. I'm not the only one getting married today.
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You are too. So there is a bag in your chair with a ring in it.
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At my wedding, I asked everyone else to marry themselves too.
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So by the power invested in me as your friend, I now pronounce you a married woman. You may not kiss yourself.
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So in this same episode, Dr. Phil then interviewed another two women who did the same. And one decided
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to marry herself on her 50th birthday with 100 guests, two wedding planners, seven bridesmaids,
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and a best man, all for the price of $15,000. And she said that her mother wrote her vows.
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Do you promise from this day forward to carry yourself with integrity and excellence?
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My response to people who say why would I marry myself is because I love myself.
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Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you fabulous at 50, Ms. Sonia.
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He also interviewed life coach Sasha Kagan who married herself at 40 and guides other women to
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marry themselves as well. Sasha Kagan created a video called Self Marriage Explained on her
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YouTube channel where she described her stance on the issue. Listen to this.
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In my opinion, we have got a lot of things backwards when it comes to love and marriage.
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We say that when you're in your 20s, you should go out in the world and find your soulmate and then
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marry that person pledging your love and devotion for the rest of your life. A lot of marriages end
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in divorce. And part of the problem may be that a lot of people haven't learned how to love, accept,
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and cherish themselves so they can really be there for themselves and for another person in a
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relationship. So that's where self-marriage comes in. Now, a lot of people think self-marriage is
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nutty or narcissistic or just plain weird. I've heard people say, why do you have to marry yourself?
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Why can't you just love and accept yourself? Why do you have to make a big to-do about it? Well,
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actually loving and accepting yourself is a pretty big deal. And in fact, it might be more rare than
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getting married. Now, you may be thinking that this is just sort of self-love or narcissism.
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But even though all of these women seem to think that this ceremony is about self-love,
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in reality, this is coming from a desire to be loved deeply and truly. Think about it. These
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women may be sick of the casual hookups of this sex-obsessed culture, which lacks really in any true
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love whatsoever and any true commitment. They may want to have the party, the wedding ring,
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the congratulations and celebrations of their friends, the accoutrements of marriage without
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the commitment, maybe. But what really baffles me is, what are these friends and family celebrating?
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Are they loving their friends by encouraging them in this self-marriage thing, which is obviously
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going to lead to horrible and more loneliness? Is it love to celebrate someone's very harmful
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decisions? Or is it actually something else? You know, it reminds me of the trend to celebrate
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people being grossly overweight and having concern over problems of being overweight made into sort of
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fat shaming and it's terrible. Well, in reality, it's when people want to help and truly love the ones
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that they care for that they express concerns when they're doing dangerous things. Is it really love and
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helping when all of our known medical information tells us that overeating is harmful to the body,
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not to mention anything about the soul? How can it be love? Is this that same thing?
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You know, it sounds to me more like some kind of politically correct form of hatred.
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There is a thing sometimes, especially seen among young women, where maybe not only young women,
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maybe all women, but it's similar to when some friends will tell their girlfriends,
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hey, your makeup is so beautiful, when they know and everybody knows it's completely ugly and gaudy.
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Or they're wearing some outrageous outfit, which is really, really gross. But their friends are like,
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oh, that's awesome. That's so wonderful. Or whatever they're saying. Why? What's all that about?
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Well, sometimes it can be explained by, hey, I want to look good. So I'm going to like
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say that she's looking good when she's not so that I can look better. But maybe it's some kind of
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revenge thing or whatever's going on. But it seems a lot more like hatred than anything else. It's no
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real true friendship. If anything, it's, you know, looking better than your competition,
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What is love? What is true love that really these, these young ladies, these women, not so young
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ladies are looking for? Well, love is a complete self-gift, willing the good of the other. And
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therefore, love requires a lover and a beloved. If man wants to truly love, he cannot find fulfillment
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in himself. Which brings us to what marriage truly is. It's not just a reception. It's not just a
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party. It's not just a ring. It's not a celebration of the person. No, it's not what it is. It's a
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sacrament, in the church anyways, a sacrament of love that requires another. Even outside the church,
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it is a loving contract or a union between man and a woman. The church teaches that there are
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three purposes to marriage. Firstly, the procreation and raising of offspring. Secondly, the mutual help
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of the spouses. And finally, as a remedy for concupiscence or the sexual urge. So let's look at
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these in reverse order. The Bible teaches in Genesis 2.24, therefore, a man shall leave his
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father and mother and hold fast or be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh.
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But in 1 Corinthians 7, starting at verse 2, it goes more into detail about this end of concupiscence
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or remedy for concupiscence or the sexual urge as a real teaching of the church. In 1 Corinthians 7.2,
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you'll read, but because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own
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wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights,
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that means have sexual relations or the married relationship, and likewise the wife to her
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husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise,
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the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. It goes on even,
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it says, do not deprive one another of sexual relations, except perhaps by agreement for a
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limited time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then come together again so that
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Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." End quote. Those are scriptural verses
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dealing with that end of marriage as the church taught the third end of marriage. But beyond the
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sexuality aspect, there's a more important aspect of mutual help of the spouses that the church teaches
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is the second end of marriage. And you read about that in this Bible as well. If you read Ephesians
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chapter 5, starting at verse 22, you read, "...let women be subject to their husbands as to the Lord,
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because the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. He is the savior
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of his body. Therefore, as the church is subject to Christ, so also let wives be subject to their husbands
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in all things. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church and delivered himself up for it." End quote.
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So, marriage, at least in the second aspect of the mutual help of the spouses, is about very much a
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self-giving, self-sacrificing relationship that's not only sexual, but in every aspect of life,
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sacrificing yourself for the other. Each sex, each male and female having their own particular ways of
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doing that. But marriage is about even more than sexuality or even more than about a husband or wife.
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In fact, the primary purpose of marriage is children. Marriage, as much as it is about a spouse,
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is about children. And maybe some have rejected having children. Or, you know, with all of the
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responsibility, with all the work that children entail, maybe they've rejected this kind of
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self-sacrificial love for husband and wife. Maybe they've rejected the idea of sex altogether.
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Maybe that's why they're going down this road, or these various roads of anything but marriage.
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So, how can we get all this right? Well, Christ, during his time here on earth, elevated marriage
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from merely a natural institution ordered to the procreation of children to the sacrament of holy
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matrimony. And it made this relationship between a man and a woman so intimate and so special that it
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actually images the relationship between Christ and his church. St. Paul quotes again that verse
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we read from Genesis about, for this reason, a man shall leave his husband and wife, the two shall
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become one flesh. And you'd think what he's talking about is that obvious sexual relationship between
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a man and a woman. But St. Paul says, no, what he's talking about is the relationship between Christ and
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his church. And so, it is such a sacrificial relationship whereby it's a complete self-giving.
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And that's where love resides. If you want to find love, there's a fascinating talk that I had with
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Immaculate Illibigiza. And you remember her, if you haven't watched the show, go watch it. It's a John
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Hunter Weston show from a couple of weeks ago. But absolutely fascinating. It was,
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she described a psychologist to whom she went, because remember, she was the one in the Rwandan
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massacre, one of the seven women locked in a bathroom survived. And she went to a psychologist
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about how her whole family was massacred and she missed the love of her mother. How was she to get
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it back? And this was, she was, it was driving her nuts. The psychologist told her, you can get it
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back by giving that same love that you want your mother to give you to other people. And Immaculate
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described how she went to an orphanage and she would embrace the orphans like, exactly like the
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love that she wanted her mother to give her. And in doing that, she found that love. That's what that
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self-sacrificial love is all about. If you want to experience true love, you give true love. And in a real
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marriage, that's what you do, you sacrifice yourself for your spouse. And that's true love.
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Pope Pius XI wrote in his encyclical, great encyclical for all married couples and for anybody
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wondering about marriage and human sexuality, read the encyclical by Pius XI, Casti Canubi. He said,
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let it be repeated as an immutable and inviolable fundamental doctrine that matrimony was not
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instituted or restored by man, but by God. Not by man where the law is made to strengthen and confirm
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and elevate it, but by God, the author of nature and by Christ our Lord, by whom nature was redeemed.
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And hence, these laws, that is the laws of marriage, cannot be subject to any human decrees
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or any contrary pact, even of the spouses themselves. This is the doctrine of the Holy
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Scripture. This is the constant tradition of the universal Church. This is the solemn definition
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of the Sacred Council of Trent, which declares and establishes from the words of the Holy Scriptures
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that God is the author of the perpetual stability of the marriage bond, its unity and its firmness,
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end quote. So this distinction is the thing that makes marriage what it is. Removing any of the
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aspects of true marriage results in something that, first of all, is not really marriage at all,
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but secondly, it lacks the richness of true marriage, and it's sad, sad, sad indeed. So what can we do
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when we encounter someone longing for love and looking for it in all the wrong places? Well,
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we have to show them what real love means and how they can find it, what true marriage is,
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and hopefully, in many of our marriages, show them the example of it.
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For LifeSite News, this is John Henry Weston, and may God bless you.
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Hi, everyone. This is John Henry Weston. We hope you enjoyed this program. To see more like it,
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