It Took Killing Someone to Teach Me How to Pray
Summary
Jacinta Riggi is a 17-year-old high school senior who was killed in a car accident at the age of 17. Her story is a story of great suffering, but also great redemption. In this episode, Jacinta shares her story of how she was able to come to terms with what happened to her and how God saved her life.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
I'm not going to turn to anything. I'm not going to turn to drugs. I'm not going to turn to alcohol
00:00:04.360
because of my stability in my faith and because I had God in my faith. The only option for me
00:00:11.300
was to turn to him and was to bring my suffering to him.
00:00:17.400
When bad things in your life happen, sometimes it can totally throw you off. A lot of people,
00:00:23.140
when something really severe happens, turn to drugs and alcohol, turn to who knows what,
00:00:32.040
especially if it's really, really, really bad. Imagine being really young and a terrible accident
00:00:40.900
happens where you actually kill somebody. That's unreal. How in the world do you even deal with that?
00:00:47.860
Well, we're going to find out right now from someone who's been there.
00:00:51.340
Stay tuned for this episode of The John Henry Weston Show.
00:01:24.480
Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
00:01:27.360
Your story really is one I think that will touch many people. It is a story of great suffering,
00:01:34.800
but then also great redemption. So take us through, if you would, from the beginning.
00:01:40.260
It was the summer of 2018. You know, supposed to be the best summer of my life. I was
00:01:47.920
heading into my senior year right after that. How old are you at this time?
00:01:52.620
So I am 17 years old. I went to an all-girl private Catholic school. And so in the summers,
00:01:58.640
we would go to school and, you know, clean the school and help set up the classrooms.
00:02:04.620
And so I was at a piano lesson and I was headed up to my school, whereas usually after a piano lesson,
00:02:10.540
I would head back home. So today I'm heading back to school on this day in June, and I decided to take
00:02:18.480
a different road. And I took the same road that I usually do, but I took a different left. I took
00:02:23.120
a different turn. And I think that's just another thing of like God saying everything happens for a
00:02:28.260
reason. And he decided that that day I need to take that left turn. So I'm driving. It's very
00:02:34.740
busy on ongoing traffic. And there's, you know, there's traffic going with me. There's traffic
00:02:39.200
coming across from me and there's a middle lane. And in the middle lane, you, you can wait your turn
00:02:46.720
to turn left until it's good to go until the traffic's gone. So there's actually, you know,
00:02:53.580
a train coming on this side and it finally, the train, I'm waiting for the train to go away.
00:02:59.540
And I'm just sitting in the middle lane for about like 30 seconds. And the train finally goes,
00:03:04.840
traffic's gone. And I remember thinking I can turn left. There's nobody coming. And of course that
00:03:12.600
might be me now. Like that might be me going back and being like, I'm just trying to convince myself
00:03:20.820
that there is nobody, but I do remember thinking there's nobody coming. I can turn left. And so
00:03:26.900
I turned left and I remember taking a very slight turn, a very slight left. And all of a sudden out
00:03:34.420
of the middle of nowhere, a huge loud crash, a huge noise. And it was like the loudest sound I've ever
00:03:42.760
heard. My car turns. I'm just in complete shock. I'm looking around in my car. There's airbags off
00:03:49.700
everywhere in my car. And I'm thinking, what did I just hit? Like, did I just hit a man? Did I just
00:03:56.960
hit a human? Did I hit a car? Did I hit, did I hit an animal? I had, I had no idea what I just hit.
00:04:03.580
So I'm in shock and I'm sitting in the car and for about 10 to 20 seconds, I do nothing. I just sit
00:04:10.080
there. My car automatically calls 911. And then all of a sudden I start screaming out of nowhere. I just
00:04:15.780
have no idea what's happening. And then a man, man opens my door and he's like, you need to get
00:04:22.840
out. We need to get you out. Um, but don't look, don't look. He keeps, he keeps reiterating, don't
00:04:28.360
look. And so I'm like, okay, don't look. I'm like, what did I hit? What did I hit? What happened?
00:04:34.720
And then I get out of my car and I look, you know, straight across from me, probably about 10,
00:04:40.740
15 feet away. And, you know, there's a body just, just lying there. Um, it's, you know,
00:04:48.740
dismembered. It's just blood everywhere. There's blood coming out of the head. There's blood all
00:04:55.840
over the street and it's a very graphic image and, you know, something I'll never forget.
00:05:01.120
And I remember seeing it and, and this man was trying to cover my head and cover my eyes. And he's
00:05:05.800
like, no, we need to get you away. We need to get you away from, from, from the scene. Don't look,
00:05:10.420
do not look. And I keep, I kept saying like, what is it? What happened? Did I hit somebody?
00:05:16.600
Did I, did I hit somebody? Did I hit a car? Did I do that? Did I, did I do that? Like after I saw
00:05:22.760
the body, I started saying, did I do that? Was that me? And he took me across the street and he was
00:05:30.040
like, we need to call your family. And I'm just sitting there, just, just standing there staring
00:05:36.060
at the body. And luckily, you know, the people, people come, the ambulance comes. I, I see them
00:05:41.740
put his body in a body bag, bring him away. And he, this man ends up calling my family. My family
00:05:48.580
shows up and, and yeah, that's, that's what happened. That's how it happened.
00:05:54.220
You come from a good Catholic home. You, you know, you're, you're going to school, you're,
00:06:01.060
you're, you're praying, you're going to private Catholic school, you're, you're praying, going
00:06:05.240
to mass. And yet this happens to you, you know, did that kind of thing shake your faith? You know,
00:06:11.100
because when this happens, a lot of people say, you know, even if they're faithful, sometimes,
00:06:15.520
Hey God, what was that? How dare you? What was your reaction?
00:06:19.100
You know, even growing up as a Catholic and even growing up in the faith, I automatically didn't,
00:06:25.220
didn't think, Oh, this, everything happens for a reason. You know, I live by that quote. Now I live
00:06:30.980
that, you know, everything happens for a reason. God does everything for a reason. Um, but at that
00:06:35.800
point, no, I was not thinking that I was thinking what I just killed a man and what am I going to do
00:06:42.680
about it. And I remember thinking like, just, just being in shock and not knowing, um, not turning
00:06:49.920
to God at first, you know, in the first, in the first minutes, in the first hours, I just, I didn't
00:06:54.060
even even think about praying because I had no idea what just happened. But luckily, you know, my brother
00:07:01.340
is a priest and my mom's a psychiatrist with help, which helped. But I remember right after we were on
00:07:07.120
the way to the hospital and my brother called me, he was a priest and he said, this happened for a
00:07:12.840
reason. He was chosen to go at this point and at this point in his life. And like, don't, don't
00:07:22.640
bear like the responsibility of his death. And, you know, my mom, luckily it was just, you know,
00:07:30.140
just like, just trying to comfort me, just trying to like say over and over again, this wasn't your
00:07:34.860
fault. This wasn't your fault. Don't worry about it. And then they took me to the hospital
00:07:40.020
and my mom was like, the hospital waits long. Do you want to go home? And I was like, just take me
00:07:45.360
home. Just take me home. I can't, I don't want to be in a hospital right now. So I went home and I sat
00:07:52.340
in my bed and lied in my bed for about, I think three days in complete shock. And I was just staring
00:07:59.000
staring at the ceiling and just thinking about what had happened and rerunning the images and
00:08:06.560
rerunning what had happened to my mind 24 hours in the day, just over and over and over and over and
00:08:12.160
over again, thinking, what did I do? What the parents are just are receiving a call. Like his mom and dad
00:08:19.560
are receiving a call today saying, your son died. Your son passed away in an accident. And I'm the reason
00:08:25.460
that they're going to get that call. When did you realize the details of the accident?
00:08:31.540
You know, did you hit him? Was he walking or what was happening there? And how did you find out?
00:08:36.960
He was on a motorcycle and he's not unfortunately wearing a helmet. I think I saw his motorcycle
00:08:44.080
and, but I found out he was on a motorcycle and he wasn't wearing a helmet, unfortunately,
00:08:51.640
which obviously impacted it. He was coming at about 75 miles an hour. And he, which is just
00:09:01.880
very, it's incredibly fast. And especially when I'm turning, if you saw pictures of my car,
00:09:07.940
it was just completely gone. I mean, the fact that I, it was just a miracle that I even survived.
00:09:13.600
Um, and so we hit straight on and he just flew up from the motorcycle onto the ground and just,
00:09:23.020
you know, died pretty much instantly from that. You had mentioned about the parents, uh, being
00:09:30.400
informed. I presume they were informed and, and how did that go? And how did you learn about it?
00:09:35.280
I just couldn't even imagine my mom getting a call and saying, your daughter is dead.
00:09:38.560
And so something I had to deal with was really, you know, figuring out, was I going to reach out
00:09:44.120
to them? Well, how are they going to react? I believe my mom reached out to his mom first,
00:09:49.940
found his email somehow and said like, you know, you know, my daughter is the one that was involved
00:09:55.680
in the accident. Um, but she, the father, um, which I later found out was, you know, obviously not
00:10:02.840
happy about it. Um, he wasn't, he, I don't think he'd ever want to speak to me. He wouldn't ever want
00:10:09.960
to, you know, interact with me, which I completely, I completely am fine with, but the mom was, she is
00:10:17.480
just an absolute angel. She emailed me and told me, please know that this was, this is not your fault.
00:10:27.480
And she said, my husband got in a, in a motorcycle accident and he lost his leg. And ever since my
00:10:35.160
son, Chad, Chad was his name. He was in his thirties. She said, ever since he got a motorcycle,
00:10:40.100
I've been waiting for the call that says your son has passed away. Your son has died in a motorcycle
00:10:46.600
accident. And so she reached out to me and she said, please do not bear this on your shoulders.
00:10:53.420
Know that like, this wasn't your fault. It's okay. It wasn't your fault. She would send me care
00:10:59.620
baggages in college and email me constantly. We email each other once or twice a year, definitely
00:11:07.680
every day on the day that Chad passed away. And I just reassure her, you know, know that he's always
00:11:13.160
in my prayers, know that, you know, I'm praying for my family, praise for him. And now I've shared my
00:11:18.520
story publicly. And I know that there are other people that have reached out to me saying,
00:11:22.260
I keep him in my prayers. I keep the soul of Chad in my prayers. So you're not that much older now,
00:11:27.820
and yet you seem so well adjusted. How did you make this transition? How did you deal with this
00:11:34.320
massive problem? I mean, a lot of people would have turned to drugs, alcohol. They would have
00:11:41.560
perhaps rebelled against God and the whole faith. What was your journey? I grew up in a family,
00:11:46.400
you know, where we had the faith. I'm so lucky. Like every day, I'm so lucky to have grown up in
00:11:53.260
the Catholic faith and with the Catholic faith around me. But when something like that happens,
00:11:58.440
you don't, you don't think of faith right away. You know what I mean? I mean, luckily I was able to
00:12:05.240
down the road, but right away, I was thinking like, this is my fault. And how am I going to deal with
00:12:10.280
this? But I remember the Sunday after it happened, I was like, I need to go to church
00:12:17.400
and I need to go to mass. I don't care if people are looking at me. I felt like everyone was staring
00:12:21.800
at me. I felt like people at school were, when I went back to school, I just felt this heavy weight
00:12:26.880
on my shoulders all the time. And I was like, this heavy weight needs to go. And obviously, you know,
00:12:34.920
I was 17. Luckily I didn't, I was like, I'm not going to turn to anything. I'm not going to turn
00:12:39.180
to drugs. I'm not going to turn to alcohol because of my stability and my faith. And because I had God
00:12:45.200
in my faith, the only option for me was to turn to him and was to bring my suffering to him. And I
00:12:53.780
like to say my faith is my therapy because I turned to God with all my issues and my problems. And I
00:13:01.760
talked to him about them. And I talked to him about Chad and I relived the scenario with him. And I,
00:13:08.100
I didn't know what else would I do. I mean, I didn't want to ruin my life and, and turn to all
00:13:15.260
these, these worldly things to distract me from this terrible, terrible tragedy that had happened
00:13:20.720
in my life and other families' lives. So I turned to my faith and it was my therapy. And I talked to
00:13:28.880
God about it every day. And I, I remembered to say a prayer for a Hail Mary for Chad's soul every single
00:13:34.020
day. And my faith is what really got me through it.
00:13:39.500
Just a quick note before we return, if you would like to stay up to date on LifeSite's coverage of
00:13:44.240
the latest life, family, and culture news, subscribe to one of our many newsletters by going to
00:13:49.140
lifesitenews.com slash subscribe. And if you'd like to help us bring our truth-telling coverage to
00:13:54.980
millions around the world, please consider making a one-time or monthly donation at
00:13:59.540
give.lifesitenews.com. And now back to the video.
00:14:04.320
A lot of people wonder what that is because I think most people know they, they say they're
00:14:10.560
Hail Mary's. They might say a rosary, they go to mass, but you're talking about talk to God. A lot of
00:14:15.880
people say that phrase of, of, um, you know, talk to God and so on. What do you mean by talk to God?
00:14:24.140
I remember when I was little in my catechism lessons, we were taught to speak to God as a
00:14:29.780
child speaks to his father in heaven. And I was thinking, I always was like, what does that even
00:14:33.940
mean? Like, that's so like, I'm not going to just talk to God. Like, no one just talks to God.
00:14:39.160
You sit in the church and you pray and you know, but you don't like talk out loud to God. That's
00:14:44.200
weird. Ever since that accident, I have been doing that. And I will like after the accident, when I
00:14:50.560
finally got used to driving my car again, I would go on drives and on my drives, I would literally
00:14:57.140
just talk out loud as if it was a therapy session. You know, when people go to therapy, they think
00:15:02.100
it's because they need to share something with someone and they don't want to share it with
00:15:06.700
their friends and they don't want to share it with their family because it's too close and it's too
00:15:10.580
personal. And my accident was very close and very personal to me. And it still is. And luckily I've
00:15:18.320
come to a point where I can share and talk about it with other people, you know, thousands
00:15:21.440
of people. But I knew that I had to turn to God and I don't know why I started it, but I
00:15:29.240
just started talking out loud and I acted as if it was a therapy session. And I would basically
00:15:34.160
what I do is just say, okay, God, this is happening in my day. This is annoying me today. I can't
00:15:41.760
get through this. You need to help me through this. You need to help me through this, God, because
00:15:44.880
I'm someone who needs to talk out loud and it works. And he, he shows signs and it just brings
00:15:52.120
me, it just brings me so much peace to be able to share my life with him because I'm not someone,
00:15:57.640
especially who opens up easily with people. I don't open up about my feelings or my emotions
00:16:02.380
with people. So with the accident, I don't talk to many people about it. But after being able to just
00:16:08.400
share with God and, and, and he's, he's helped me heal in so many different ways. Um, and yeah,
00:16:16.620
so, you know, my faith is my therapy. That's my, that's my quote.
00:16:19.760
I think that's really beautiful. It's funny, you know, our Lord counseled his own disciples and all
00:16:26.120
of us to go to a private place to play, to shut your door. He went to the Mount of Olives. He would
00:16:34.740
often climb a mountain to play because he's there all by himself. So you can talk out loud. I, I'm
00:16:41.800
like almost a hundred percent sure our Lord would have prayed out loud. Exactly like that. Talking
00:16:48.060
to his heavenly father. Yeah, exactly. You have to be alone because there's, there's just so many
00:16:56.000
distractions in the world. There's so many distractions at the tip of our fingertips, you know,
00:17:01.460
whether it be our electronics, whether it be, you know, drugs, alcohol, bad relationships,
00:17:06.720
there are so many things that the devil has prepared and ready for us. And he's just like,
00:17:13.080
grab this, you know, because we don't see, we don't see God right away. If you, if you're not
00:17:18.320
stable in your faith, you don't see God. You see, you see all the other distractions around and they're
00:17:23.260
gold and they're silver and they look great. Um, but they don't fulfill you. And, you know, ask,
00:17:30.120
ask any drug addict or alcoholic or anybody who's addicted to anything. None of that fulfills you.
00:17:39.220
And none of that stays with you forever. It's very temporary. God created you. He's never going
00:17:44.560
away. He's someone that, you know, you can always trust and you can always go to. Whereas the other
00:17:50.500
things, they're going to ruin you. They're not going to bring you up and they're not going to bring you to
00:17:54.240
heaven. In these kinds of conversations you have with God, you don't get answers. So maybe you do.
00:18:01.560
Have you heard God speak to you or, or what do you make? Cause normally when you have a conversation
00:18:05.720
with someone, when you're talking to somebody, you're supposed to get an answer, but do you hear
00:18:10.040
things? No, I'm not like a saint over here saying, I talked to God and he talks back to me. We have this
00:18:15.520
really great relationship. Um, no, he doesn't, he doesn't talk back to me like speaking, but he speaks
00:18:24.040
to me through, I don't know if anybody else knows this, but he's, I mean, obviously everybody does
00:18:28.340
like everyone's like, but God has such a great sense of humor. I mean, things will happen in my
00:18:33.940
life where I'm just like, you knew that I hated that. And you knew that I'm going to have to suffer
00:18:38.440
going through that. And you know, the fact that you brought that is just, it just makes me laugh,
00:18:42.800
but there's just so many signs that happen in your life just every day where you're just like,
00:18:48.940
that's not, you know, people say it's the universe. It's the universe talking, you know,
00:18:53.160
and, and people are so like spiritual about it, but not in the right way. Um, and it's like, no,
00:18:58.900
that can only be like a spiritual, that can only be God. That can only be the person that created you.
00:19:05.240
If you're open to it, give us one of those examples where you laughed and, and, uh, you felt our
00:19:10.300
Lord was speaking to you through, through something that happened. It's not work now. It was work years
00:19:14.600
ago, but someone I did not get along with at all. And I'm just like, for some reason, this person
00:19:19.320
bugged me, bugged me so much. And I, um, was assigned to work with that person for weeks on end.
00:19:28.860
We were on the same shift and we worked together. And I was just like, God, you know, that I am just
00:19:38.260
so annoyed by this person. Every time we hang out and every time we work together and he put that
00:19:44.340
person in my life for a reason. And, you know, after the, I was just like, you're so funny because
00:19:49.780
you're laughing up there right now. Like, ha ha. Like you're going to have to deal with this person
00:19:53.660
for the next two weeks. Um, and then after that, we ended up like bonding and we ended up becoming
00:20:00.540
like friends, not great friends, but we ended up becoming friends. So it just shows like
00:20:05.120
everything happens for a reason. And God has a plan for everything. And sometimes it's going to be
00:20:10.340
humorous. He's all just, he's all, he's perfect. And he has a little bit of sense of humor and that's
00:20:15.640
okay to, um, to say that he does. Yeah. You know, it's amazing because those two things you put
00:20:22.800
together in your life, what your priest brother told you, um, that's kind of odd having a father
00:20:29.460
brother, but anyway, um, he tells you that everything happens in God's plan. So every single
00:20:37.200
thing, there were no coincidences. And I think that's why you can see God's answers in your life
00:20:44.420
to your prayers, to him, to your conversations with him by what happens, because you know that
00:20:50.140
they happen with God's will, even the tragedies, but also everyday little things. There are no
00:20:56.960
coincidences. Every person is brought into your life for a reason. Everything happens for a reason,
00:21:02.140
every tragedy, because I think every tragedy is an opportunity for you to become closer to God.
00:21:07.860
When that tragedy happens, whether you have faith in your life or not, that's the opportunity you have
00:21:12.440
to either turn away from God or turn towards God. And those are, there are the biggest moments of
00:21:19.220
weakness because the devil was so powerful and so strong. I am so stuck on this because I think it's
00:21:24.640
a real revelation that we do have conversations with God. It's great to have them out loud because I
00:21:30.320
think that's, that's totally needed and people all need to do that. But then to see his answers in
00:21:37.460
your life, because you know, every single thing is controlled by him in your life, bad or good.
00:21:42.560
It's an amazing thing. So it really is a conversation that plays out you with words to him and him with
00:21:47.960
your life to you. Yeah. And God brings every single person in your life for a reason. Like,
00:21:53.280
like Chad, for example, you know, that was the name of the man that passed away, Chad. And
00:21:57.220
in that moment, God decided I'm going to take his soul. It's his time. It's his moment for whatever
00:22:06.120
reason. I have no idea what his relationship was with God. I don't even know if he had one. And at
00:22:12.140
that moment, he decided I'm taking Chad's soul and, and you're going to stay, you're going to stay on
00:22:17.380
this earth. And so I think he may have not had anyone praying for him. You know, Chad may have
00:22:25.440
not anyone really, you know, you know, praying for him and, and praying for his soul and praying for
00:22:32.780
a state of grace. Who knows? We have no idea. And so I think the reason why he was brought into my
00:22:38.700
life. And the reason why that happened is because I pray for him all the time and I'm helping save his
00:22:44.400
soul, you know, because I don't know where he is, unfortunately. And I think that, you know,
00:22:49.100
I've shared my story a few times now and I've, I've received comments on Instagram or on YouTube
00:22:54.540
saying like praying for Chad and praying for Chad and things happen for a reason. And God brings
00:22:59.800
certain people into your life for a reason. Um, and I think that was the reason why Chad was
00:23:04.620
my mind. What would be your final piece of advice for young people who have experienced tragedies in
00:23:10.340
their lives? Cause this is really tough. You were faced with something really monumental.
00:23:16.900
What's your advice to young people? I think people need to know that they need to turn to God with
00:23:22.880
their sufferings. I think a lot, a lot of depression is happening right now in our world. And a lot of
00:23:29.560
young people have depression and anxiety and all this stuff. And I think people with depression,
00:23:34.620
they decide that nobody wants me. Nobody wants to hear my problems. Nobody wants to talk to me.
00:23:43.400
Um, and I think those people, people who are going through tragedy, people that, you know,
00:23:48.720
their, their families are divorced. Their parents are going through it. You need to know there's
00:23:54.600
something that you can turn to. That's not just the world. You know, the devil has built this perfect
00:23:59.700
little empire where we want to turn to the worldly things. You need to know that those are the times
00:24:05.060
and you need to take your suffering to God because God will be your greatest advocate in life. And she's
00:24:12.100
never leaving. He's always going to be by your side. When that happened to me in my life,
00:24:16.840
that was the moment when I decided I meant to be on this earth and I meant to be on this earth for
00:24:22.100
something. And ever since that happened, I have been career driven, spiritually driven. And I think
00:24:29.660
people need to look at the terror and the terrible things that are happening in their life and realize
00:24:36.640
this is an opportunity and this is an opportunity for greatness. And I could become great because of
00:24:42.640
this not great in a worldly manner, but great spiritually. So I think just remember, turn to
00:24:48.620
God and turn to him in suffering and speak to him, you know, speak to him like a child speaks to his
00:24:54.980
father in heaven. And it's so true. Those words are so true. And I think just live by them. Bring your
00:25:01.040
suffering to him. He loves it. He loves hearing our suffering to him. It brings us closer to him
00:25:05.680
because he knows that, you know, he created us and he, he created us human. He knows that we have all
00:25:11.620
these emotions. Don't turn to the devil, you know, you know, turn to God in times of need and times of
00:25:17.120
suffering because he's the only one that's really going to really going to help us, you know, get to
00:25:21.620
our end goal in the end. What father doesn't want to hear his children speak to him? Yes, speak to him
00:25:30.240
formally in, you know, all the proper ways a son or daughter should speak to his father with great
00:25:37.060
respect and everything else, but also in that way, that's just from the heart. Cry to him, laugh to
00:25:43.420
him, share your happiness, share your, your worst things. He's your best friend. He should be your
00:25:49.080
best friend, um, as well as your father, someone who you respect and you love. So I think if you treat
00:25:56.020
him as your father, as you would your, your father, um, yeah, you'll just build a beautiful
00:26:01.940
relationship with him. And I know mine has changed completely ever since my accident has happened.
00:26:07.560
Jacinta Riggi, thank you so much for being with us.
00:26:09.640
Thank you so much for having me on. I hope we can speak again soon.
00:26:16.020
And God bless all of you. We'll see you next time.
00:26:21.360
Hi everyone. This is John Henry Weston. We hope you enjoyed this video and to see more like this,
00:26:26.560
be sure to hit the subscribe button below to get all the latest content from LifeSite News.
00:26:32.200
So check out our links in the description to read more, sign up for our newsletter and connect with
00:26:37.100
us on social media so that you can stay up to date with all of the latest life, family and culture
00:26:42.820
news. Thanks for watching and may God bless you.