The John-Henry Westen Show - August 29, 2025


Why Catholic Fathers MUST Lead the Fight Against Porn

Topics
devices digital safety dangers virtues and convictions Internet safety at the academy digital safety spiritual life regulation
Hosted by
John-Henry Westen
Mentioned
Henry Sattler Jonathan Kopech Jesus Christ Ripperger Mary
AUSCP Unmasked： The Battle for Catholic Orthodoxy Taylor Marshall speaks out on the Pope Leo and James Martin SJ Meeting

Episode Stats


Length

41 minutes

Words per minute

202.99

Word count

8,504

Sentence count

476

Harmful content

Misogyny

1

sentences flagged

Toxicity

3

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we speak with Father Jonathan Kopech, a priest at La Salette Academy in Georgetown, Illinois, who deals with the issue of pornography and digital safety with over 100 boys in his school. He talks about how he deals with it, what he does to protect his boys, and what parents can do to do the same.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 I spend a lot of time really hammering just how devastating the issue, especially of pornography, is for men.
00:00:05.720 I mean, it really is the destruction of fatherhood.
00:00:10.280 Hello, my friends. You're going to want to stick around for this show because it's about a topic that I know, as parents, we're all trying to deal with.
00:00:17.680 Everybody who has kids older than even 10 is dealing with devices. What do we do?
00:00:24.080 We need them for homeschooling. We need them for calling the kids when they're out, especially when they get into their teens.
00:00:31.400 But what do you do? This is a gateway to impurity, which is to hell.
00:00:37.660 And so how do we deal with that? Well, we've got with us a priest, Father Jonathan Kopech, who deals with that issue for over 100 points.
00:00:47.500 We're at La Salette Academy here in Georgetown, Illinois, and it's a live-in academy for boys, and they've got over 100.
00:00:59.120 So he's dealing with this not only on a daily basis, he took a deep dive into how to protect his boys here at the academy, and you're going to want to learn all about it.
00:01:09.720 Let's begin as you always do with the sign of the cross, Father.
00:01:12.380 In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
00:01:14.500 Amen. Father, so good to meet you, and thank you for being with us.
00:01:17.760 Glad you can make it.
00:01:18.900 So this is an incredible thing. You have over 100 boys, and how soon did you realize, uh-oh, this is a massive problem. We've got to look into this.
00:01:29.540 Pretty quickly, yeah. So I was ordained in 2017, and I immediately was assigned to a school, and I was working with boys.
00:01:36.220 And there were even more in St. Mary's Academy in Kansas.
00:01:40.880 Very big school for us. And it was very, very quickly evident who the enemy was.
00:01:45.440 So something more needed to be done.
00:01:47.840 And so the big thing is that no one really knows that much about it, and no one really wants to talk about it, especially, you know, the particular dangers.
00:01:55.800 So, yeah, we did a deep dive. My superior had me and a couple of the other priests really kind of go deeply into it,
00:02:03.020 try and come up with some relevant information for parents, and then some practical guidelines the best we can.
00:02:09.600 But it's, as you know, I'm sure it's still an ongoing issue.
00:02:13.780 There's a lot of learning going on, and luckily there are more people becoming aware of just how dangerous these things are,
00:02:19.980 and what we need to do, but we're still far from, you know, the silver bullet, so to speak, when it comes to what we can do best.
00:02:28.720 So at your school here, phones are completely banned, but your students will go home for summer break or whatever, and there have access.
00:02:39.020 What kind of guidance do you give them, do you give parents to sort of help them navigate the waters of this danger?
00:02:46.820 Sure, sure. Yeah, so there's two things, I guess, that we do.
00:02:50.040 We do, on the one side, a lot of education, because I think that's one of the most important parts is just getting the information to the parents and to the boys.
00:02:58.420 So, for example, for the parents, when they're entering their boy into our school, they're required to do a certain amount of reading
00:03:06.940 and also to watch some podcasts that we made last year.
00:03:11.560 So I did a series of podcasts on digital safety, it's called Digital Dangers, and we kind of took one topic at a time.
00:03:19.740 So, you know, the effects of screening usage just on our theology, we talked about social media, we spent a couple podcasts on pornography,
00:03:27.160 and then we tried to kind of tailor it off on, you know, what we can do about that.
00:03:31.460 So that's, you know, eight or nine hours altogether that the parents are required to listen to, watch.
00:03:37.360 And then over the year in the academy, we would, we give the boys regular spiritual conferences.
00:03:42.540 We took some of those conferences and we spoke to them specifically about these issues.
00:03:47.280 So I talked to the boys, you know, very precisely about what the dangers are, what the pressures are,
00:03:55.300 where they're going to be pressured and tempted when they're going back out just for the summer,
00:03:59.960 but especially when they graduate, and to give both sides as well.
00:04:04.000 So it's, I think, you know, I spend a lot of time really hammering just how devastating the issue,
00:04:09.460 especially of pornography is for men.
00:04:11.100 I mean, it really is the destruction of fatherhood.
00:04:13.880 What it trains a man's mind to do is to completely devalue not only another person, but a human soul.
00:04:21.020 And then finally, motherhood.
00:04:22.900 So whereas fatherhood is supposed to be protecting motherhood, which is embodied in the nature of a woman,
00:04:27.220 he's using it instead in a manipulative way for his own satisfaction.
00:04:30.400 So it turns everything upside down and it's, it's just, it's, it's the ultimate destroyer.
00:04:35.660 So it's, it's definitely more and more we're going to see,
00:04:38.480 it's definitely going to be playing into the vocation crisis because it's, it's basically,
00:04:43.880 you know, if it becomes such a relevant issue that, you know, it can be almost called an addiction,
00:04:47.860 that would be an impediment for orders.
00:04:50.900 And, but it's also just causing its own problems just in families and in relationships.
00:04:56.300 So that's the negative side.
00:04:58.360 You know, we really dig into just how it affects us, why no one's exempt from that,
00:05:01.800 why we all need to be humble enough to realize that this is all,
00:05:04.220 this is going to be the battle for all of us.
00:05:06.020 But then I try and give, you know, the positive side as well.
00:05:09.140 So we, we usually start actually just talking with about, you know, about like the,
00:05:13.880 well, the, the beauty of God's creation and how he set up motherhood and fatherhood and,
00:05:17.500 and the ideal of the Catholic family and everything that's connected to that.
00:05:21.100 And how grace is even supposed to work through intimacy and families between parents and things like that. 1.00
00:05:26.980 And it is, it's a beautiful, beautiful reality.
00:05:30.140 And it's, it's very important for the boys, especially to have an ideal that they're fighting for,
00:05:35.340 because we don't want to just give them the negative don'ts, but it's a,
00:05:38.800 this is what we're going for.
00:05:39.620 This is what we're protecting.
00:05:40.960 So we spend a lot of time on that as well.
00:05:42.840 The first step that we do here for the boys and for their parents is education.
00:05:46.940 We can't just give a bunch of rules without really giving the reasons why.
00:05:51.160 But then after that, we do have a very, a very strict policy as well.
00:05:54.780 What we've come across over the years, you know, because again,
00:05:57.940 we're, we're all still trying to basically catch up with this.
00:06:00.740 I mean, technology kind of ran ahead of us, but, um, the, the, the big question is,
00:06:05.900 you know, while they're getting to the age where they're going to be graduating anyway,
00:06:09.920 they're going to be self-sufficient.
00:06:11.480 They're going to need a phone and all the things, you know, how do we best form them to have habits,
00:06:16.840 you know, good, good, virtuous habits of purity and regulation and things like that.
00:06:21.200 So the big question is, you know, do you give them a little bit, um, how much access do you give them and things like that?
00:06:27.260 Uh, over the years, it seems like just because of how devastating the issue is,
00:06:31.660 once it becomes an issue and also just because of just all the unnecessary other things as part of it,
00:06:38.020 just the, you know, the, the artificial social life, all that sort of thing.
00:06:41.980 Um, it's not just that the principle has come out like less is more for the youth.
00:06:47.540 It's nothing is best, um, as much as possible.
00:06:51.420 So after a lot of discussing and a lot of looking into things, we came up, at least with our academy here,
00:06:58.140 our policy is, is no tolerance.
00:07:01.140 So after we've given the education to the parents and we've asked them to look into the things,
00:07:05.360 then we basically ask them, um, and it's something that works well with a boarding school
00:07:09.380 because the parents kind of have to, you know, be on board with, uh, with the formation that we're giving in order for things to work.
00:07:16.140 Um, so we basically asked them to cooperate with us in, you know, enforcing this policy at home because that's the big thing.
00:07:22.720 You know, while they're here, obviously they don't have any devices, but while they're home, you know,
00:07:27.020 the question is, well, how can you restrict something, you know, no one's there to check and things like that.
00:07:31.080 So that's why we just, we go through the parents say, look, this is our policy for as long as your boy is enrolled in our school.
00:07:37.860 He's not allowed to own his own smart device or his own, you know, any sort of internet access device of his own or own, you know,
00:07:44.820 have his own, you know, social media platform or anything like that.
00:07:47.520 If he's going to have some sort of, you know, communication device, then the parents will have to basically show us, you know, um, you know,
00:07:54.920 what kind of safety regulations they have, you know, that everything's blocked and everything like that.
00:07:59.280 Just, and at the same time, we're giving them the resources to know how to do that.
00:08:02.840 You know, here are the devices you should buy, here are the apps you should get and things like that.
00:08:06.600 And then it kind of closes out with, you know, towards the very end of their senior year, just a couple months before their senior year.
00:08:12.380 We do want to make sure that they're not just going to have to jump, you know, straight into the, straight into the ocean.
00:08:17.780 So at that point, again, we work with the parents of saying, okay, well, you know, talk to your son,
00:08:21.560 if he's going to be going to college and things like that, here are the devices we would recommend.
00:08:25.100 And, and, um, at that point in the last couple months, right before their graduation, that's when the parents are allowed to, you know, get them something.
00:08:32.520 And so that way it can all be set up.
00:08:33.880 They can know how everything works.
00:08:35.180 They have their apps downloaded and things like that.
00:08:37.080 So that there, you know, can be that segue without there being a big, you know, um, crunch right at the end.
00:08:42.880 So those are the, those are the two basic ways.
00:08:45.280 It's very heavy on the education and giving the principals positive and negative strict, no tolerance when it comes to, um, to their personal devices.
00:08:53.260 It, like I said, it just, it became clear over the years and with enough experience and discussion that it's just, it's just not worth it.
00:09:00.320 It wasn't, there, there was not enough good coming out of the risk that was involved.
00:09:04.620 And again, not just for the worst things, but even just for their study habits, their way they think their, their social mindset and things like that.
00:09:11.740 And so, um, that's where we ended up with the very strict policy.
00:09:15.220 Um, and then to, um, to give them the practical resources to kind of like help the segue at the end.
00:09:20.720 Yes, father.
00:09:21.520 And what I liked as well is what you told me about alternatives for the boys.
00:09:25.860 It's not enough to take the danger out of their hands if they have nothing else to do with their time.
00:09:32.160 And so there at the school, you stay so busy and the boys stay busy, not just with work, but with good, positive things that the boys like to do.
00:09:42.620 Like going around here, I saw you have such a rigorous sports program and it extends all throughout the summer, as well as the other extracurricular things that the boys learn to do.
00:09:54.220 You were explaining that each boy gets the opportunity to learn a musical instrument, as well as singing.
00:10:00.760 They are taught different techniques of art, of sculpting, of painting and drawing.
00:10:06.380 They can learn archery, hunters, safety, or the finer workings of the chessboard.
00:10:12.640 You know, I think that as you said, by giving the boys so many other things to do that they love to do,
00:10:19.400 you are providing them with an essential part of formation, an answer to the time that will be created by living differently from their peers with regard to technology.
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00:10:55.400 A lot of parents are going to say right away, oh, well, you know, does your segue even work?
00:11:08.260 I mean, because they have no experience, they're thrown in like fish into a sea, and it's all sharks, and they're going to get completely eaten right away.
00:11:15.480 Do you have a success rate of doing this and seeing what happens a few years down the road after they've come into a world where they needed to have use of devices and so on?
00:11:27.580 Not yet, not per se, because it's a pretty new policy for us still, just because, like I said, it's been kind of a work in progress.
00:11:34.960 We don't have the experience to be able to say yet, you know, look, we've done this, and these are the results.
00:11:39.680 We have an alumni association, so I keep in contact with the boys after they graduate, and so we'll be kind of gathering out together and seeing what worked well and what didn't work and things like that.
00:11:49.420 But what I can say is, as far as your question goes, I can say that I have the experience with working with many young men to know that the virtue, the habit that's needed to use these things well and not just be thrown into a bunch of sharks,
00:12:05.020 is a very humble but clear mindset that says there are some things that are just never worth me getting into, ever.
00:12:15.060 And the virtues that we instill in the boys, that we try to instill into the boys, you know, just, you know, their self-sacrifice, their prayer life, their attendance at the liturgy, their participation in the liturgy, you know, just connected to living a solid Catholic man's life.
00:12:29.560 Frankly, those are the virtues that they need so much more than being able to know how to navigate well their screens because they're going to take that virtue and then apply it to the task at hand.
00:12:40.540 These devices are ergonomic.
00:12:41.860 Like, it doesn't take much to know how to swipe and things like that.
00:12:45.520 So, I have the experience that that's not necessary.
00:12:51.200 What's necessary is to build those deep-rooted virtues so that they have, you know, a hate for impurity and a love for, you know, a sacred and Catholic notion of love and a love for Jesus Christ.
00:13:03.300 And if a man has those convictions, you know, he's not just going to be tossed into the sharks.
00:13:08.100 It's just not the same thing.
00:13:09.380 So, sure, he might not have as much as practical know-how, but that only takes weeks at most.
00:13:14.800 You know, it's really just not the issue.
00:13:18.320 And I can say that off of experience.
00:13:19.880 I have worked with a lot of boys going on their way out, graduating, and just saying, you know, if they get it and they get that conviction that there are certain realms of the digital world I'm just not going to step into.
00:13:30.540 There are certain things like always having a filter in accountability, you know, kind of just the two big safety guards.
00:13:39.080 They get that clearly, and then they have all those positive virtues on top of that.
00:13:43.000 They're not the ones that are going to be just swept away to completely unexpected, you know.
00:13:47.120 Yeah.
00:13:47.560 So, Father, one of the things people are going to ask, wait a minute, are they not using computers even?
00:13:52.160 Are they, you know, because everybody has to use a computer.
00:13:54.940 Or if they're in any kind of writing job or whatever, or you have to write a report or anything, which is just about everybody right now, do they know, well, I guess not know how to use the Internet, but how do they access research online?
00:14:08.660 What do you do that way?
00:14:09.760 Sure.
00:14:10.080 So, we have it set up actually basically how I would advise any family, you know, if a father of a family comes and says, you know, how should I set up my Internet at home, let's say, like, how would you do it?
00:14:20.460 I think at the Academy, we do kind of have the best case scenario.
00:14:23.580 So, we do have Internet, and the boys, with permission, especially if they're, you know, in their last two years, because then they'll be applying to colleges and things like that.
00:14:32.200 So, they have a permission slip that they have to fill out and present to the headmaster.
00:14:36.580 And if they say, you know, this is what I need to get on the Internet for, this is how long I need to go for, then he can grant that permission.
00:14:43.220 That's, let's say, step one is that's their access, is they have to have permission.
00:14:47.280 Step two, then, is that all of our computers and everything, they all go through a filtered Internet.
00:14:51.980 So, you know, we have a, you know, we have a, our Wi-Fi on campus, let's say, is, has its own safety at the DNS level.
00:14:59.840 So, you know, it already has its own blockers and things like that built into it, which is necessary.
00:15:04.700 It just has to be done.
00:15:07.000 That's even, I would say, even easier, in a sense, in a family setting, because you only need one router, and you can get something like a Griffin router or something like that that's just right there at the source of Internet.
00:15:16.480 So, you already have a certain level of safety.
00:15:19.340 Obviously, we know there's no such thing as foolproof unless you're not connected to the Internet.
00:15:23.720 You have limited use permission for necessary reasons.
00:15:26.420 You know, none of the boys are ever going to be asking, can we, can we get out and watch these YouTube videos because we heard they were really funny.
00:15:31.840 You know, like that's, there has to be some sort of requirement.
00:15:34.820 Then the Internet itself is, is safer.
00:15:37.920 It has filtering built into the Wi-Fi.
00:15:40.800 And then lastly, there's the accountability.
00:15:42.520 So, all of our computers are in public spaces.
00:15:44.320 So, you'll see even, you know, even the priests and the teachers here on campus, we don't use the Internet in our own private offices.
00:15:50.560 So, we have, it's in a, it's in somewhat of a public space.
00:15:53.520 There's at least, you know, someone around.
00:15:55.460 So, for the boys, it's in the library.
00:15:57.020 So, there's always people coming in and out of the library.
00:15:59.260 And there's, you know, designated, you know, accountability when it comes to when they're actually going to be accessing it.
00:16:04.920 It's going to be at a certain time.
00:16:06.100 So, we know who they are, where they are, who's going to be around, and things like that.
00:16:09.360 And I would advise the same thing, you know, for this, you know, same thing for families.
00:16:12.640 If you have, you know, you keep it to a need basis, a legitimate need basis, you have that filtering at the Internet level.
00:16:20.080 And then you have accountability.
00:16:21.040 And even, even fathers of families could, you know, again, it takes a virtue of humility.
00:16:25.840 But to just say, well, I'm not going to, I'm not going to be putting myself in even, you know, the semblance of a near occasion.
00:16:33.620 Because I'm going to be only accessing my Internet when there's other people around.
00:16:37.960 And that eliminates, you know, 95% of it.
00:16:40.500 Yeah.
00:16:40.980 Yeah.
00:16:41.200 So, one of the practical tips, I know we started doing this too at home, is that when they're using their computer, they're actually on the outside of the table so that we're walking behind.
00:16:53.780 Right.
00:16:54.160 That does its own thing because then it's totally non-private because they don't even see who's looking and whatever.
00:17:00.380 Yeah, it's actually the same thing in the library.
00:17:01.980 So, it doesn't look against the wall.
00:17:03.640 Yeah.
00:17:03.920 So, that, yeah.
00:17:04.500 Okay.
00:17:04.920 So, everybody's walking by.
00:17:05.860 So, that's, and ours is in the kitchen.
00:17:08.360 So, that's the highest trafficked area.
00:17:11.140 And so, which, which I think works really well.
00:17:14.880 A lot of parents, though, think, oh, I've done my best job at filtering and whatnot.
00:17:20.900 But, so, it's okay if they have their devices in their rooms.
00:17:23.980 What would you say to that?
00:17:24.940 I think device, well, I'll be pretty strong on this one.
00:17:28.200 Um, because, uh, devices in their room is, is just, it's, it's definitely an, uh, approximate occasion of sim.
00:17:36.980 And there's really no way to, to, to go around that.
00:17:39.620 The thing is, is that, you know, to that point when parents say, you know, I've done our work, we've done the filtering.
00:17:44.160 The problem is, is, um, filtering and even accountability, but especially the filtering software, it's, it's more or less like a makeshift dam.
00:17:52.480 Um, and so, you know, the, the water's flooding and you drop a bunch of sandbags in there, um, but you're going to have to keep plugging the holes.
00:18:01.420 So, there's no such thing as we've done it and we're good.
00:18:05.420 It's, it's impossible.
00:18:06.360 Not in the way that technology is advancing with AI.
00:18:09.260 And then the next thing is that children are, uh, way better at this than adults are.
00:18:15.720 And, um, even, even I have to say, even the parents that are, are convinced that, you know, they're pretty technologically competent, chances are their children are going to be that much more technologically competent.
00:18:25.020 So, when it comes to finding backdoors, accountability and, and filtering, you know, it's that much more of an issue.
00:18:30.600 So, usually when I have this discussion, parents don't like it because it seems like I'm presuming that all their children need to have is the opportunity and they're going to send, um, which no one likes to think, you know, like not my children.
00:18:43.820 You know, I get it.
00:18:44.940 Those people out in the world and all that sort of thing.
00:18:46.560 But my children, you know, we're a good Catholic family and things like that.
00:18:49.600 But the problem with that way of seeing it is that especially the younger they are, and especially again, if they're boys, when we're talking about the specific danger of pornography, but social media brings its own danger as well, especially for young girls.
00:19:01.480 Um, but we're talking about something that's so powerful that it's disproportionate even to a good Catholic youth that's raised in a good Catholic family.
00:19:12.440 It's disproportionate to their just ability to resist in a sense.
00:19:16.720 Um, it really only takes a little bit of exposure.
00:19:19.400 It only takes a little bit of temptation.
00:19:20.660 And all of a sudden, you know, you can give into curiosity for a moment and that could be, that could be the spark.
00:19:27.000 But the problem, you know, that quickly follows upon that, especially with that sort of mindset is that if that child is unfortunately weak enough to just even give into a little bit of curiosity, um, chances are, um, they're not going to be confident enough to actually come talk to their parents about it.
00:19:44.800 And so it becomes like this, this kind of a shame and fear of being in trouble and we've kind of set them up for failure because we've given them their space, but then also we haven't continued the conversation.
00:19:56.860 We haven't been building that, the trust and things like that.
00:20:00.000 And so, and then if we have this mindset that my kid could do no wrong, we're being unfair to them.
00:20:05.900 It's like, it's, you know, it's, it sounds maybe like a silly example, but if, you know, if you had a, if you had a silverback gorilla in your garage and you knew he was, he was really, you know, angry.
00:20:15.720 And he tries to kill everyone that comes into the garage.
00:20:18.320 It doesn't matter, you know, how many rosaries your children say on a daily basis.
00:20:22.260 It doesn't matter, you know, whether that they, they make the sign of the cross with holy water when they walk into the garage, you're, you're sending them to, you know, their pain or maybe even their death because that thing is physically stronger than them.
00:20:33.080 Um, when it comes to technology, the algorithms, the AI based, uh, you know, push of material that's extremely good at, at, at detecting young men or just young people in general, uh, we're setting them up against a monster that's, that's more powerful than their ability to regulate.
00:20:54.900 Hmm. And so it does not take a bad kid at all to, uh, to get into trouble. And that's really, really important. It just takes a human being. It takes a human nature and a device.
00:21:06.580 And that applies not only to children. I mean, it applies to all of us. Uh, if, if we're being honest and humble, I mean, again, this, this is, this is the relevant issue. Uh, the, the moral relevant issue of our day. It's, it's not just children. It's, it's, it's everyone, especially men.
00:21:21.380 My main point is that when it comes down to, you know, if we think we've done enough and so we can give some, some leeway in things that are objectively going to be dangerous, it's, it's not fair to our children. It's not the way to do it.
00:21:35.060 And I would even add on top of that, that, um, just because of how, you know, relevant and dangerous these things are, parents have to consider that it's not just a question of prudence. I mean, this is a moral obligation and it's a grave moral obligation.
00:21:47.200 I mean, we're, we're talking about, um, something that, that can just cripple someone for their entire life. And it does many, many. And if we're dealing with that and we're trying to be prudent as a family, we, we, we should always be erring on the side of more safety.
00:22:02.500 In this line of morality, you can't go wrong if you're being just more safe when it comes to protecting young eyes and giving them a lot of positive education, but then not sending their children up for failure by enabling them to have opportunities where their weakness comes across something that's too strong for them.
00:22:21.140 I have so many questions for you, but one pertains also to TV because on my day we're raised, we're not going to have TV.
00:22:27.160 We have a TV that to play videos on. It used to be to play the CDs on, but now it's, it's hooked up to the internet so we can have the right apps that are safe stuff.
00:22:38.780 And we can watch good stuff. The difficulty is that there's also other stuff. What do you recommend for TVs and people to deal with that?
00:22:47.460 This is the part where I become every kid's enemy. Now in a nutshell, because most TVs are smart TVs these days, we're more or less just talking about a computer, um, in a, in a sense, right?
00:22:58.680 Because like most TV is not just coming through a cable anymore and it's coming from satellite or usually it's through internet subscriptions and things like that.
00:23:06.600 So a lot of the same things that we talk about as far as accountability and filtering are going to be the same things. Um, I mean, just as relevant when it comes to TV, I would add an extra caution.
00:23:17.460 Um, that has two, two sides to it. And that is, we don't want to underestimate even just screen usage in itself.
00:23:25.180 This is where it might start to sound a little extreme, but again, this is an experienced thing among priests is that even just the more a child is conditioned to receiving information or using screens for entertainment or for information.
00:23:38.940 It already starts to basically plant that habit of use and that way of thinking. So, you know, for example, just, you know, learning how to think off of an internet paradigm is really bad actually.
00:23:51.200 And, um, it, this is across the board and, you know, in any Catholic school, ask the teachers, the ability for children, you know, even young adults to just be able to focus on a task, to pay attention, to be able to think deeply, to follow a train, a line of thought from one, you know, point to the conclusion.
00:24:07.300 It's becoming more and more difficult because that's not how they're trained to think. They're trained to think like a Google search, you know, so you type in, you get your, your, your section of information.
00:24:16.420 You don't get the relevant content that helps you actually like, you know, grow in wisdom about something.
00:24:21.100 You're not, uh, enabled to, or trained to contemplate things. It's just, you know, immediate things like that. And it creates this fragmentary way of thinking, or it becomes harder and harder to just be able to, you know, stick on one point and think it through to the end and then form good principles, which then can, you know, apply to your actions and things like that.
00:24:39.660 And that, that just comes with screens. It's, it just comes with, you know, just interacting with them in general. Um, and you can add, I mean, there's, there's other concerns which are still relevant. I mean, they're, they're not as dire and just things like, uh, you know, they're, they're just the, the effect of the screen on just, you know, our eyes or physiological health and things like that. And those things are relevant, but you know, I could leave those to the books, but I would say that, yeah, there, there is a, we don't want to underestimate, um,
00:25:09.660 the, the, the habit of thinking and, and, and gaining information that comes with screens and how that's already destructive. Because in the long run, what that does is, you know, it, it might already be harder for them to study and, you know, to study deeper things to, you know, to be able to really like get, get into philosophical truths and things like that. But that ability to pay attention and, you know, to think off of principles and stuff like that. I mean, that's, that's the basis for prayer. Um, so, you know, if anybody can, you know, remotely agree that it's, it's,
00:25:39.660 become difficult to make it through a hell Mary without losing our focus. There's a reason for that. I mean, we're obviously we're not computers. So we're always going to have to deal with distraction. That's a human condition. Um, but it shouldn't be as bad as it, as it is. But then furthermore, when it comes to, you know, our universal call to some form of, of a contemplative life is some, some form of meditation. Um, it becomes almost impossible when you, when you don't have the habit to just be able to, to be silent inside. And that, again, that comes with screen.
00:26:09.660 You know, even if it's, you know, innocent movies or just information documentaries and stuff like that. Um, again, it's, our conclusion is less, less is more. Uh, I wouldn't say necessarily nothing is best in that case because there, there definitely are relevant things and, you know, properly, properly moderated and things like that. I, you know, there's, I think there's still room for that, but we definitely don't want to underestimate that.
00:26:33.520 The other side of the TV question is the cultural aspect. And again, I think this is something that we don't, we don't normally pay that much attention to. We're kind of used to it, especially as an adult, you've kind of made your decisions. You've, you've, um, you know, you've kind of come across your principles. This is how I want to think. This is how I want to raise my family. This is how I want to treat myself. But we forget that children are always absorbing. They're not the, that's where their principles come from.
00:26:59.520 Um, and so if they're absorbing, um, everything around them, well, they're definitely absorbing the things that are most impacting on their attention, which is a screen. So if, you know, you, you watch a kid, watch, watch a movie and they're just glued into it. They're absorbing everything about that movie, not just the things that the adult is seeing, like the jokes and, you know, the, the colored shapes and the music, but they're absorbing, you know, a way of thinking, um, a way of, you know, how parents treat their children, how girls dress out in public,
00:27:29.240 how, what people do for fun, you know, what, what are the, how a relationship should go and things like that. So, I mean, if there's a reason, for example, I think it's a relevant example is that, you know, our young Catholic youth are, you know, many relationships are not Catholic, even, you know, even among our good traditional families.
00:27:47.960 And, um, it's not because they weren't raised right, but at the same time, there was a competing influence from all the culture, the music, the movies and everything like that, that, you know, we're not sitting our kids down and saying, this is how you should, you know, have a relationship. 0.50
00:28:01.100 But at the same time, they're, they're sucking it in. And they're also seeing, and this is where it gets a little pokey, but they're also seeing their parents approval of it, at least tacitly, because if mom and dad are watching the movie too, and it's, maybe it's just something as, as subtle as, you know, there's a couple of 16 year olds, you know, stupid modern relationship, they're taking that in. 0.96
00:28:23.140 And that's a normal thing. And mom and dad are watching it, they're tacitly approving it. And so that becomes an okay thing for a child psychology to take in. So when it comes to TV, movies, I think that the best rule of thumb is make it more, you know, need based, much more moderated and be very selective. 0.90
00:28:42.160 And then even, even with the selection, obviously there's, there's always room for good conversations, you know, it's just like literature, literature doesn't, I'm not saying that it always has to be, you know, about saints for sure, because then you'll only know about saints and you won't know anything about being a sinner.
00:28:56.640 So there's, there's, there's plenty of room for good, you know, let's watch this documentary or whatever it is, or even this movie, if it's well done and there's no immoral content and all these sorts of things, because now it can be a basis of a conversation and then, okay, now that's, that's a positive thing.
00:29:11.320 In general, I would say, yeah, I think we, we, we take it for granted that they're not being as affected as, as we are.
00:29:18.900 We're not being as affected as they are, I guess what I'm trying to say, because they're younger.
00:29:23.440 Yeah.
00:29:24.220 One of the things you touched on, which I think is very interesting, and it, it reminds me of something that I heard from Father Ripperger.
00:29:30.440 It's about how this affects men largely, at least the pornography side does.
00:29:36.020 But it's not only, because when people talk about pornography now, they're, they're meaning, like, there's this whole genre of, we have to get rid of porn, but they're meaning hard porn or whatever, and they make all these distinctions.
00:29:47.280 But just the impurity, just the plain old, not plain old, but you know what I mean, inappropriately dressed when you see that, whatever.
00:29:53.960 Right.
00:29:54.100 There is a kind of a giving into it sort of intellectually versus sort of curiosity that it's all, I mean, whatever.
00:30:01.860 But Father Ripperger talked about, he was talking specifically about porn, but he's talking about how it kind of opens the permission, because demons are, go very much by authority.
00:30:13.540 And the man is the head of the household, and sort of of the property and of his wife and his children.
00:30:20.120 The devil has to sort of respect his authority in that domain.
00:30:24.460 And yet he was saying that he, he sort of grants a tacit kind of permission when he allows himself to be lured in and affected by pornography or whatever screens.
00:30:37.320 Tell us about that.
00:30:39.040 What I can say is this, I have no authority on the abilities and activities of how diabolical influence can work in those specific ways.
00:30:46.360 It's definite that the devil is using them, so there's no question there.
00:30:51.180 What I can say from my own experience, I guess, and what we can call whatever, you know, relative authority there, is that it definitely, the issue channels through the Father largely.
00:31:03.240 I wouldn't say exclusively, but largely, all respect due to, you know, the theology of diabolical influence, like I said, it's not my specialty.
00:31:12.900 What I can say, let's say on some studying I've done on like the psychological aspect, let's say, of the Father and his effect on his family, our mindsets and our principles are largely given to our children, even let's say subconsciously.
00:31:27.080 In a way that you don't have to teach your son, you know, strictly speaking, a virtue that you have yourself.
00:31:33.720 And that's for two reasons.
00:31:34.700 One is just because of like, you know, the natural connection of a parent to their child and those, those sort of things are past.
00:31:40.620 But then also on the virtuous side, you know, what we believe by the one of the one of the one of the parts of the sacrament of marriage is that, you know, grace is working through the parents as physical instruments to their children, their sources of grace.
00:31:56.520 And so let's say if a father then is making his own mistakes, but especially in these particular realms, he is doing two things.
00:32:05.300 He's blocking that grace.
00:32:07.240 And so he's in a sense, you know, pulling the foundation out of his of the reason of his existence, really, in a sense, which then, you know, blocks his children to be able to receive that virtue from them.
00:32:19.040 So so it's kind of the same thing, I would say, is what you were saying.
00:32:22.660 But then also, let's say the the pornographic mentality, let's say it trickles into everything.
00:32:27.500 It's not just a question of, you know, committing mortal sins.
00:32:30.800 It's it's how we see things.
00:32:32.680 So how, for example, even just, you know, how a man treats other people, you know, whether or not he's fundamentally self-sacrificing or fundamentally manipulative and things like that.
00:32:44.060 Like all of these things, just they they will they will be affected by the vices and the virtues that we have.
00:32:50.060 And so from that perspective, I can absolutely agree, you know, that that the devil's let in when when he's given that access through the father of the family.
00:33:01.040 Absolutely.
00:33:02.260 Stunning.
00:33:03.300 If we can conclude just with some advice that you might give any that we have maybe haven't discussed any, maybe just a few points that you would like to point parents to.
00:33:12.860 So, yeah, the advice I would give to parents would come down to, again, it's always going to start with principles.
00:33:19.220 So don't be afraid to get as educated on these matters as possible.
00:33:23.680 Again, no one wants to have to talk about it.
00:33:26.860 No one really even wants to know more about it.
00:33:29.440 But unfortunately, this issue is not going away whatsoever, specifically the pornography issue, but the technology issue in general.
00:33:35.680 We need to know just just as much as we can about this and we need to share that information with each other.
00:33:42.140 Otherwise, we're going to just continue to see increases of abuse and losses of vocations and to start and destroyed families.
00:33:49.420 It's it's it's going to be tied into that.
00:33:52.040 So to learn as much as we can.
00:33:54.200 And then immediately following off of that is communicate.
00:33:57.660 Parents need to talk to each other about it and they need to give positive education to their children.
00:34:02.400 If I were to sum up in one word, the best thing that a parent can do for their child when it comes to digital safety is trust.
00:34:08.840 So the more just in general, they form an open communication.
00:34:15.560 You can tell me anything and I'm going to be going out of my way to give you positive, prudent principles.
00:34:22.460 And so that way that the child knows that no matter what, they can always go and talk to mom and dad about this.
00:34:27.680 You've eliminated a lot of the tragedies.
00:34:31.060 OK, I have to stop you because that's huge for.
00:34:34.020 So all parents are going to be like, yeah, but he just doesn't die because we've tried.
00:34:38.240 And then they're scared and whatever.
00:34:40.740 And we try and tell them, please come talk to me about anything.
00:34:42.680 It doesn't work.
00:34:43.200 What do you actually say?
00:34:45.900 Well, first of all, just don't give up.
00:34:48.020 And second of all, start early.
00:34:49.740 Let's say the happiest families that I can think of, you know, they they they have a habit of just, you know, spending time with their children every single day from the earliest time that they're able to communicate, especially dad.
00:35:02.800 He comes home from work.
00:35:04.000 He's tired.
00:35:04.700 He's got extra work he's got to do.
00:35:06.080 He's got projects. And a lot of times, unfortunately, the last thing that he has extra energy to do is, you know, take his daughter for a walk or something like that.
00:35:13.300 But it's that sort of thing more than just what do I say?
00:35:16.920 It's it's it's the relationship of trust, especially the relationship of fatherhood, which is so crucial.
00:35:22.120 And, you know, if someone says, OK, well, we're going to try that.
00:35:25.760 But still, what do I say?
00:35:27.540 You know, sometimes it's just you just keep saying it over and over again.
00:35:31.220 You know, like I'm if you're worried about something, for example, you just you keep going back without nagging, but you just keep opening the door.
00:35:38.320 Hey, I can tell something's troubling you when you're ready.
00:35:40.960 I'm here.
00:35:41.520 You know, whatever.
00:35:42.080 It's something like that.
00:35:43.020 You're just you're opening the door.
00:35:44.140 You're trying to continually make them comfortable and trying to continue to build that trust.
00:35:49.480 Another, I guess, like, you know, practical, positive thing to say is, you know, actually give them information, information about, you know, the mysteries of God's creation and the relationship between between a man and a woman.
00:36:00.040 Like if you're stepping ahead of their curiosity and the development of their mind and body, then you could already be giving them ammunition so that they can they already have something in their pocket to know, oh, yeah, dad mentioned this.
00:36:13.420 I can go talk to him about it because he already told me a little bit about it.
00:36:16.100 And he said that when I notice I can come talk to him about it, you know, and like you've eliminated this.
00:36:22.040 I've waited until he's 16 and then all of a sudden I try and dump everything on him.
00:36:25.520 And and the boy, you know, he's probably thinking you're three years too late.
00:36:29.900 And, you know, dad makes a mess of it anyway because he's so nervous.
00:36:34.360 But the younger they are, they don't know.
00:36:36.340 You're the parent, you know, give me information and you can give it in an age appropriate way.
00:36:40.840 I don't know if I'm am I allowed to give recommendations.
00:36:44.240 The best book I've read on this is by a priest named Father Henry Sattler.
00:36:47.940 It's called Parents, Children and the Facts of Life.
00:36:50.240 It's an excellent read.
00:36:51.260 I highly recommend it for this specific question because he starts at, you know, age two and he says the moment you're able to start using words with your children, you could already be giving them, you know, relevant information, age appropriate information.
00:37:05.300 And what's most importantly is reverent information, you know, because we don't we don't want our children growing up thinking that there's things intrinsically bad about themselves or their or their bodies or, you know, the temptations that they have mean that there's something evil about them.
00:37:19.920 But rather, we want to give them from their earliest years a sense of, wow, this is something sacred.
00:37:24.560 This is something I need to protect.
00:37:26.300 And the earlier you start that and the more you just you keep you keep your eyes on it.
00:37:31.000 Parents keep talking to each other.
00:37:32.400 You make sure that as they get older, if nothing's come up, you you still intentionally put information out there.
00:37:37.280 You there's different milestones and things like that.
00:37:39.560 Like I said, Father Sattler in that book does a great job.
00:37:42.300 And I'm not even sure where he's from, but I really appreciate his work.
00:37:45.480 So I highly recommend that to parents.
00:37:47.540 And then last, I think just as they get older, you know, even if or even if, let's say they already are older and you didn't have the time or the knowledge, the experience, the confidence a lot of times to, you know, to tackle those things early on.
00:38:01.360 It's never too late.
00:38:02.680 It really isn't.
00:38:04.120 What I mean by that, it's never too late to start.
00:38:06.860 It may be too late to have prevented things from going wrong.
00:38:10.080 That's that's that's not only possible, it's likely if a parent's waited too long, but it's never too late to start.
00:38:18.760 And it's even, you know, never too late to just be humble about that start.
00:38:22.040 You know, like the older your children are, the more they need to be cooperated with like adults, you know, and not just told, hey, by the way, you know, I watch this news thing and you're not supposed to do this.
00:38:32.460 OK, it's like, hey, we need to talk about this.
00:38:34.740 We haven't really been paying attention to it.
00:38:36.200 Let's talk. And and then even if they don't, even if they keep trying to push away, just keep knocking lovingly, humbly, but insistently until eventually they get it.
00:38:47.040 You know, like, all right, fine.
00:38:48.620 And that's as far as like, you know, the communication and all that sort of thing, the trust.
00:38:52.580 That's my number one sum up when it comes to how we're we're, you know, help directing our children.
00:38:58.340 What I would say the number one principle is for ourselves, though, is that's actually going to be the number one advice that I could possibly give to everyone.
00:39:06.440 So when it comes to how you raise your children safely, trust all the things that I just explained.
00:39:11.480 When it comes to what's the actual best thing you can do for your children, it's yourself.
00:39:16.380 And that's you know, this is the principle of the soul of the apostolate.
00:39:19.540 It's if if you yourself are undisciplined in your use of technology, your children, there's no possible way that they will be better than you or even at the same level.
00:39:30.740 It just doesn't work like that.
00:39:32.540 So if you need to work on yourself to get things restricted, to stop wasting hours scrolling through things, even if it's not pernicious material or whatever it is, that's where it's got to start.
00:39:44.300 Because if we're really honest, we know that the flip side of how much we spend on technology is how much we spend on our spiritual life.
00:39:51.880 They just they ebb and flow.
00:39:53.400 Whoever's got the winning hand, he's got the most attention.
00:39:56.740 If it's technology, that means that my spiritual life is very small.
00:39:59.900 If my spiritual life is is large and prevalent and deep, then my technology use is going to be small.
00:40:05.100 And sometimes I have to make that small in order for that to happen.
00:40:07.820 But that that's where it's all going to start.
00:40:10.080 It be on the spiritual level, on a supernatural level, it makes you an instrument of grace through your own regulation, your your union with Christ, your state of sanctifying grace, virtues that you're going to pass.
00:40:20.200 It's going to be, you know, actually possible because you're actually living those virtues.
00:40:24.700 But then even just the practical things like the example you're giving, how much you're using, how you're using and things like that and how you're communicating that use.
00:40:32.840 All of those things are only going to be possible if you're actually living it.
00:40:36.300 You know, if dad's wasting his time on YouTube every night and then he tells his son that he shouldn't, you know, be watching, it's not going to work.
00:40:44.160 So it's for children.
00:40:45.940 It's it's form that trust.
00:40:47.680 And it's but overall for ourselves, for our families, for the whole picture, it's it's our own.
00:40:53.800 It's our own spiritual life, our own life of grace.
00:40:56.740 And then therefore, our own necessary, prudent regulation when it comes to technology.
00:41:01.800 Beautiful.
00:41:03.060 Father Kopech, thank you so very much.
00:41:05.280 God bless you.
00:41:06.100 God bless you.
00:41:06.700 And I don't know if it's allowed, but can you give everyone your blessing?
00:41:09.900 I, I can't.
00:41:11.240 I try.
00:41:11.780 I don't know if that's.
00:41:12.700 If you wouldn't mind doing that, that would be awesome.
00:41:14.960 I will give a blessing.
00:41:15.980 Yeah.
00:41:16.180 Yeah.
00:41:16.400 OK.
00:41:17.980 Amen.
00:41:23.240 Amen.
00:41:23.800 Thank you so much, Father.
00:41:24.740 God bless you.
00:41:25.440 Thank you.
00:41:26.340 And God bless all of you.
00:41:28.140 And we'll see you next time.
00:41:28.960 God bless you.
00:41:32.760 Aloha, everyone.
00:41:33.940 This is Jason Jones for Lifeside News.
00:41:36.280 We hope you enjoyed this video.
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00:41:50.120 Thanks for watching and may God bless you.