The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast - 445. An Honest Conversation About Hollywood ｜ Adrian Grenier

00:00:00.940 Hey everyone, real quick before you skip, I want to talk to you about something serious and important.

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00:00:57.420 Hey everybody, so I have the privilege today of speaking with Adrian Grenier.

00:01:13.460 He's an American actor, producer, director, and musician, best known for his portrayal of Vincent Chase in the television series Entourage, which ran from 2004 to 2011.

00:01:26.180 He's appeared in a variety of films, Drive Me Crazy in 1999, The Devil Wears Prada 2006, Trashfire 2016, Marauders 2016.

00:01:37.080 He has an extensive career acting.

00:01:39.940 And so we walked through the development of his career from the time he was a street rat, basically, in New York City, through his education at LaGuardia High School, where he studied film and acting.

00:01:59.180 And then through his choppy career as an actor, and not an all-in actor, until the time he signed a contract with Entourage and hit the road running.

00:02:12.560 He became spectacularly successful as a consequence of that, and had all the opportunities that go along with fame and fortune.

00:02:21.640 And so we talked about that.

00:02:23.020 We talked about a radical shift that occurred in his life as a consequence of him disappointing the woman that he loved, and what that did to him, and how that worked out.

00:02:34.300 He's now married.

00:02:35.280 He has a son.

00:02:36.340 He's made a radical shift in his life.

00:02:38.700 He's running a very interesting long-term experiment.

00:02:44.680 He has some land outside of Austin, about 46 acres.

00:02:47.300 He's trying to learn how to put some of the concerns he had on the environmentalist activist front into actual practice.

00:02:55.380 And he's grown up.

00:02:58.100 And that's what we talk about, fundamentally, about the difference between being immature and between being mature, and why the latter is actually an improvement.

00:03:07.060 So you're welcome to come along for the ride.

00:03:11.400 So where did you grow up, Adrian?

00:03:14.420 Primarily in New York, New York City, Upper West Side.

00:03:18.200 Yeah, I guess I moved there when I was about four years old.

00:03:22.780 My mom moved me from New Mexico, where I was living with all my cousins and my family there.

00:03:30.600 And then she sort of snatched me away and thrust me into the chaos of New York.

00:03:36.780 And that's where I spent the rest of my life, from about four to about 40, 42.

00:03:43.420 Yeah, slugging it out on the streets of New York.

00:03:48.760 So what did your mother do?

00:03:51.760 My mother was a free-flowing flower child of the 60s and 70s. 0.97

00:04:00.140 And she was, well, she was, she didn't just move to New York.

00:04:03.060 She was really moving away from her situation in New Mexico, which I didn't understand at the time.

00:04:09.320 Did she move alone?

00:04:11.200 She moved, yeah, as a single mother.

00:04:13.260 Okay, okay.

00:04:13.960 Were you raised by a single mother?

00:04:15.260 Correct.

00:04:15.820 Okay.

00:04:16.280 Single mother, only child in New York.

00:04:21.840 And now being a father, I can't imagine what she must have been thinking.

00:04:26.440 But I don't think she was thinking.

00:04:27.680 I think she was just moving.

00:04:30.600 It's a lot of work.

00:04:32.020 Children are a lot of work.

00:04:33.200 It's a hell of a thing to take on by yourself.

00:04:35.280 Yeah.

00:04:35.960 So what were you like as a little kid?

00:04:39.160 When you moved to New York, what was it like for you?

00:04:42.520 Yeah, it was rough, actually.

00:04:44.200 I was a very sensitive kid, sweet, I would say, kind, gentle, shy, and yeah, I think those sorts of things.

00:05:00.820 What sort of school did you go to?

00:05:03.060 So I would go either to public school or private school, depending on whether or not my mother, depending on who my mother was dating.

00:05:10.920 So if she had a rich boyfriend, I'd go to private school.

00:05:14.500 And then when she was dating other people, I'd go to public school.

00:05:18.080 Did you change schools a lot?

00:05:20.760 Fairly, yeah.

00:05:21.700 I mean, I went to—one of my formative years, I went to Rudolf Steiner, which is like a Waldorf school.

00:05:28.080 Yeah.

00:05:29.040 Formative, like very, very important in my development.

00:05:31.700 How old were you when you did that?

00:05:33.760 Second through fourth grade.

00:05:35.740 And why was that particularly important for you?

00:05:38.520 And I presume in a good way.

00:05:40.500 I think so, yeah.

00:05:41.520 It really helped to define my creativity and like lock in my ability to see the world, you know, not in a structured way,

00:05:53.300 but to like really expand out into like my ability to be creative and non-linear.

00:06:02.080 What happened after you went to the Waldorf school?

00:06:05.140 So then my mom couldn't afford it.

00:06:07.060 So she put—oh, no, what it was is the only drawback is they weren't teaching me how to read.

00:06:12.800 So I was in fourth grade, and I still wasn't learning to read.

00:06:15.640 And their philosophy is they'll learn when they're ready.

00:06:18.860 Yeah.

00:06:19.160 And then it'll, you know, really take hold instead of forcing it.

00:06:23.220 And so I wasn't learning to read.

00:06:25.000 My mom got nervous.

00:06:25.780 She had a lot of people whispering in her ear.

00:06:27.240 So then she put me into a Catholic school with nuns, and they beat the reading into me.

00:06:34.320 Hardcore.

00:06:35.220 Yeah.

00:06:35.440 So I was there for a year, and I learned to read real quick.

00:06:39.720 Did you learn to enjoy it?

00:06:41.520 No.

00:06:42.380 No, I learned—yeah.

00:06:45.280 I mean, it wasn't enjoyable to feel pressured into it.

00:06:49.140 And I mean, they were pretty aggressive, those nuns, rulers and stuff. 0.64

00:06:53.740 Mm-hmm.

00:06:54.120 Yeah.

00:06:54.600 Mm-hmm.

00:06:55.540 When did you start acting?

00:06:57.800 So I actually found acting when—so I, you know, didn't grow up with my dad, so I wasn't

00:07:06.620 particularly sporty, didn't have a lot of that at my disposal.

00:07:11.340 I was actually quite meek.

00:07:13.640 So in sports teams, I'd often get bowled over or overlooked or benched.

00:07:19.560 And—but I found a lot of comfort in the creative arts.

00:07:24.440 So in theater, and it was, you know, about how you were feeling, and it was a lot of camaraderie.

00:07:29.800 And frankly, you could play in fantasy and, you know, put on different costumes and characters,

00:07:37.380 which I took to quite well as an after-school program.

00:07:42.040 And I did that from sixth grade to high school.

00:07:46.240 And then I went to LaGuardia High School, which was one of the specialized public schools in New York.

00:07:54.440 Where—so there's Bronx Science and Stuyvesant and a number of other schools that you had to take tests to get into.

00:08:01.100 LaGuardia being one of them, but that was focused on music, art, and performing arts, so—

00:08:05.220 How old were you when you did that?

00:08:07.320 Well, it was high school, so, yeah.

00:08:09.780 16, 15—oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I see.

00:08:12.560 Oh, like younger.

00:08:13.360 Okay, okay.

00:08:14.200 Yeah, you go in there—it's when I first started learning how to dress myself, you know, pretty much.

00:08:21.560 You go into high school, and now it's like, oh, I can't wear what my mom bought me from The Gap.

00:08:25.820 I got to probably step it up a little bit, be a little cooler.

00:08:30.220 So you were—you started doing creative work seriously when you were something around 12 or 13?

00:08:36.320 I read you'd done that before because you got into this high school.

00:08:39.360 On what basis did they admit you?

00:08:41.100 Well, you auditioned, so, yeah, monologues, and, you know, I got in.

00:08:46.060 It's, you know, it's a hard—there's, you know, 3,000 kids or however many kids there are.

00:08:50.840 Are they still—is it still a selective school now?

00:08:53.220 Do you know?

00:08:53.520 It still is, yes.

00:08:54.520 Yeah, but, you know, 30,000 kids from the city auditioned, and they let in 100, so it was pretty competitive.

00:08:59.920 That's for sure.

00:09:00.880 Yeah.

00:09:01.320 So what do you think gave you an edge?

00:09:05.320 I don't know.

00:09:05.800 I always had something, I guess.

00:09:07.020 I always moved towards being just really honest.

00:09:19.380 So I didn't put on any performance.

00:09:21.260 I was just finding the parts in myself that were true to the material, and I didn't overdo it.

00:09:29.060 So it felt like underplayed and real.

00:09:32.600 And what kind of experience did you have acting before you did your auditions?

00:09:36.960 After-school programs.

00:09:38.060 Did, like, musical theater and, yeah, like we would put on a show.

00:09:44.100 It was more of an after-school program, not professionally.

00:09:47.840 Although, you know, producers and agents started to sniff around.

00:09:52.220 They started to notice me, and I just always rejected it because I didn't want to be an actor.

00:09:56.920 That's the truth.

00:09:57.640 I didn't want to do it as a profession.

00:10:02.060 I still resist it to this day.

00:10:04.660 What did you want to do?

00:10:07.940 I was more into music, I think, and directing, filmmaking.

00:10:13.500 I loved to—so my friends and I in high school, we would make movies, high-eight cameras.

00:10:21.260 You know, you get a camera, and you just start filming, and you'd cut it.

00:10:24.640 You would do all the editing within the camera.

00:10:26.840 Yeah.

00:10:27.900 You wouldn't download it to a machine or, like, edit it.

00:10:30.760 You would just, okay, ready?

00:10:32.340 Action.

00:10:32.960 And then you do one take, and then you change the angle, and you shoot it in sequence, and you edit as you shot.

00:10:40.140 And this was at LaGuardia when you were doing this?

00:10:42.320 Yeah, my friends and I, that's what we would do on the weekends.

00:10:45.340 We would make movies.

00:10:46.000 And it didn't matter if you were holding the camera or if you were in front of the camera or if you were holding the boom or if you were climbing up the side of the building to get the cool shot.

00:10:54.720 You really were able to move throughout all the different roles.

00:10:59.940 And I just loved the process.

00:11:02.000 So I was always okay being in front of the camera out of necessity because we're telling a story.

00:11:06.380 But I really had, you know, stories that I wanted to tell.

00:11:10.700 So whatever it took to get the job done, I was happy to do it.

00:11:13.780 But being an actor, you know, the ego of, like, wanting to be seen was never really my motivation.

00:11:23.320 It was more just to tell stories.

00:11:26.320 How is it then that you became an actor?

00:11:29.440 What happened?

00:11:30.240 And was that part and parcel of what you learned at LaGuardia?

00:11:34.240 Well, yeah, I had the skills, the baseline skill, you know, Stanislavski method and all that stuff.

00:11:38.780 Tell me about the Stanislavski method.

00:11:40.680 Oh, man, if I can remember.

00:11:42.020 I mean, Stanislavski method was really just about naturalness and being authentic to the circumstances of the material.

00:11:52.400 Right.

00:11:53.040 So you're trying to make the part your own?

00:11:54.980 Yeah.

00:11:55.380 Finding that the part's in you that you come alive when you're, you know, because there is all of every character within us.

00:12:02.660 Was that explicitly taught at LaGuardia?

00:12:05.100 Like, how do you, I don't know how you learned to act.

00:12:07.580 How did you learn to act?

00:12:09.220 Yeah, we learned techniques.

00:12:12.020 Um, certainly.

00:12:13.840 And then, you know, we put on scenes.

00:12:15.800 We put on plays.

00:12:18.560 At the end of the, like the third and fourth year there, you do plays, whole plays.

00:12:24.440 Mm-hmm.

00:12:24.660 Yeah, but by then, I was really moving towards the music scene.

00:12:29.880 What did you play?

00:12:31.380 So I was self-taught.

00:12:32.380 So I was playing guitar, bass, and, you know, eventually started playing drums.

00:12:36.360 Because I was autodidactic, because I had no formal training, I had, you know, no rules.

00:12:43.580 So it was just whatever.

00:12:45.120 And it's rock and roll.

00:12:46.140 So, you know, you learn three chords and you're off to the races.

00:12:48.640 Um, I was in a band, our band in high school was called the UFOs, the Unidentified Funky Organisms.

00:12:57.760 And it was a lot of fun.

00:12:59.680 And really loved the camaraderie and the immediacy of music.

00:13:03.900 Whereas acting, you know, you go and you rehearse and you practice, and then eventually, maybe you get on stage.

00:13:08.820 And there's an immediacy when you're on stage.

00:13:11.720 Filmmaking is a lot longer, you know, lead time for your gratification.

00:13:16.480 Music is like, boom, you hit the drum and people feel it, and it's like really present.

00:13:21.960 And I really enjoyed that.

00:13:23.760 So why did things expand out for you on the acting side, rather than, say, on the music side?

00:13:30.020 I mean, I know that both of those are unlikely careers.

00:13:33.420 So I went to college briefly, and I was taking film.

00:13:38.140 And they handed me a bunch of books to read on film.

00:13:43.760 And they gave me a camera, and they go, go make a film.

00:13:46.480 Come back, and then we'll critique it.

00:13:49.300 And I was like, I'm paying you to do that?

00:13:51.000 Like, my friends and I do that.

00:13:52.280 Like, why would I pay all this money, go into debt, for you to tell me what I can do on my own?

00:13:59.240 I was pretty self-motivated.

00:14:00.480 So I just dropped out of school and just started doing it myself.

00:14:04.400 This was after LaGuardia.

00:14:05.580 After LaGuardia.

00:14:06.400 Where did you go to college?

00:14:08.940 And you were there for how long?

00:14:10.000 A year.

00:14:10.900 Oh, yeah.

00:14:11.260 So you were there for a whole year.

00:14:12.460 But you felt that you could do this, essentially, on your own or with your friends.

00:14:17.220 Yes, exactly.

00:14:18.260 Without having to pay for it, right?

00:14:19.640 And it was, you know, it was a lot of money, right?

00:14:22.300 So, but, you know, that wasn't the main—that was one of the reasons I dropped out.

00:14:26.460 The other reason was love.

00:14:27.540 I fell in love with a girl who happened to be living in New York and would have just rather hang out with her and spend time with her. 0.94

00:14:37.120 And she influenced me to just stay.

00:14:40.120 It was like one night I was supposed to go back to school.

00:14:42.240 I was in the city.

00:14:42.760 And she goes, just stay.

00:14:43.820 And I just never went back to school.

00:14:47.620 Where was the school?

00:14:48.960 It was just two hours upstate New York.

00:14:50.800 Okay, okay.

00:14:51.420 I see.

00:14:51.740 But, so I ended up staying with her.

00:14:56.960 And that's a whole other story.

00:14:58.260 I mean, lost kid with a girl.

00:15:02.000 It was just a pretty destructive relationship.

00:15:05.020 How old were you then?

00:15:06.820 17, 18?

00:15:07.860 Oh, yeah, okay.

00:15:08.560 18, yeah.

00:15:10.660 But once I got out of that, you know, I got my first job.

00:15:16.580 It was funny.

00:15:17.480 I was living with her.

00:15:19.820 I didn't expect to tell this story.

00:15:20.900 I was living with her at her parents' house who had this huge apartment on the east side.

00:15:28.520 It was like Sutton Place.

00:15:29.440 It was like the nicest place in New York.

00:15:31.220 And it was such a big apartment that they didn't even know I was there.

00:15:35.080 Yeah, so we were—

00:15:36.260 How long were you there?

00:15:37.740 Six months, eight months.

00:15:39.020 A long time, a long time.

00:15:40.320 But it was the housekeeper that kicked me into gear.

00:15:44.640 She was like, what's wrong with you, boy?

00:15:48.860 You're a strong young boy.

00:15:50.100 Go out yourself and get yourself a job.

00:15:52.520 You need to get yourself—I'm not doing your laundry anymore. 0.95

00:15:55.100 So she basically kicked some sense into me and made me get a job, which was my first job.

00:16:01.020 Where was your mother in the picture at this point?

00:16:03.000 I'm sure she was pulling her hair out and not knowing what to do.

00:16:05.680 Yeah, okay.

00:16:06.100 Poor thing.

00:16:06.340 I feel so bad at that time in her life.

00:16:08.380 I mean, in retrospect, she must have been distraught by my behavior.

00:16:13.000 I dropped out of school, didn't have a job.

00:16:14.880 I was with this girl who was a little bit—

00:16:16.340 Why did the girl put up with you? 1.00

00:16:19.200 She was troubled.

00:16:20.800 She was more troubled than me.

00:16:21.940 How about that?

00:16:22.580 Okay.

00:16:22.880 And I thought I could save her and, you know, she could barely save myself in the whole situation.

00:16:29.040 Yeah.

00:16:29.680 All right.

00:16:30.100 So this housekeeper gave you a kick. 1.00

00:16:32.000 She did, yes.

00:16:32.480 Why did you listen to her? 0.95

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00:18:10.780 Because she was doing my laundry, and I was like, you know, it's like, I need to do something.

00:18:19.160 I think, I don't know, I just, I knew that it was time.

00:18:22.080 I mean, there's always this voice deep down inside.

00:18:24.480 It's like, hey, you know, you've got to get yourself together.

00:18:29.440 But I started waiting tables.

00:18:33.360 Typical, you know, starving actor, although I wasn't trying to act.

00:18:38.080 But as I was waiting tables, I was very rebellious.

00:18:41.860 I wouldn't shave.

00:18:43.180 And this is back in the 90s.

00:18:45.620 And they didn't tolerate that at restaurants.

00:18:47.100 Like, you had to be clean shaven.

00:18:48.460 Now it's hip.

00:18:49.240 Like, hipsters wear beards, you know, as waiters. 1.00

00:18:51.940 Then you had to be clean shaven.

00:18:53.220 I wouldn't do it. 0.95

00:18:53.820 So the only jobs I ever got were these shitty restaurants that were going out of business or struggling.

00:18:59.420 So I wouldn't make very much money.

00:19:00.820 So I had a lot of time on my hands to think about my life.

00:19:04.060 And it was in that moment that I was like, I have to make a change.

00:19:06.780 I don't want to do this for the rest of my life.

00:19:09.060 And that's when I found some motivation to try this acting thing.

00:19:16.820 And so that's when you started attending auditions?

00:19:19.360 Correct.

00:19:19.640 Formal auditions?

00:19:20.260 So I called.

00:19:22.240 I don't know if I had an agent at the time.

00:19:24.320 Maybe I did.

00:19:25.060 But I wasn't.

00:19:26.000 I was blowing off auditions.

00:19:27.400 I was just not motivated.

00:19:31.160 But in this case, I was like, OK, I'm getting the next job that I go on.

00:19:34.580 The next audition, I'm going to book.

00:19:36.480 And I did.

00:19:37.160 And that was the first film that I.

00:19:39.720 So how are you spending your, forget about the restaurant jobs.

00:19:42.920 How are you spending your days during that period?

00:19:44.880 What were you actually doing?

00:19:47.440 Oh, that's a dark.

00:19:48.480 You want to go there?

00:19:49.400 Well, I'm curious because, you know, part of what I like to understand about people is how they find their pathway forward, how they find their motivation.

00:19:59.260 And you stopped going to school.

00:20:02.440 You were with this girl.

00:20:03.440 You were in love with her.

00:20:04.520 You were hoping that something would come out of that, although that seems not to have made itself manifest.

00:20:12.720 So, and you were living in her apartment.

00:20:15.720 You ended up with low-paying jobs, beginner jobs.

00:20:21.180 What was going through your mind at the time?

00:20:23.700 Were you angry?

00:20:25.200 No, I was just romantic.

00:20:27.840 You know, I thought, like, we were going to be in love.

00:20:29.860 And, you know, and there's this, I guess, this starving artist idea.

00:20:36.920 You know, we have to be, you know, living low to ground, just, like, finding our food, sleeping in the streets.

00:20:43.580 You know, there's, like, sort of a romantic.

00:20:44.840 Romance, yeah, yeah.

00:20:45.520 It was this, like, New York thing.

00:20:47.020 I'm a street, you know, I'm living in the streets.

00:20:48.640 And we would.

00:20:49.220 Like, we would hang out in the streets and, you know, find places to sleep.

00:20:53.020 And it was cool.

00:20:54.760 And I felt cool.

00:20:57.580 You ever see that movie Kids?

00:20:59.860 No, I don't believe so.

00:21:00.940 Harmony Corrine is it?

00:21:03.380 Maybe he wrote it.

00:21:05.820 It's a movie that whenever I watch it, it's, like, pure nostalgia.

00:21:10.500 It's like, oh, my God, that's exactly how it was.

00:21:12.920 You can just watch the preview.

00:21:14.360 It's gnarly.

00:21:15.400 And was it filmed in New York as well?

00:21:17.440 It filmed in New York.

00:21:18.260 And a lot of the kids in the movie I knew, because they were basically taking real kids from the streets

00:21:23.880 and then making a little story around these hood rats, you know.

00:21:28.780 And these were all the kids that I knew and hung out with.

00:21:32.140 Some of them were a little bit too scary for my crew, but we knew who they were.

00:21:37.500 And it was just romantic. 0.99

00:21:38.960 And the kids just running shit on the streets. 0.99

00:21:41.180 Like, no fathers. 0.99

00:21:43.520 You know, single mothers. 0.95

00:21:44.600 And all these kids just finding a place to drink a beer, really.

00:21:49.500 And in New York City, there are no parks.

00:21:52.480 I mean, there's Central Park.

00:21:53.680 But it's stoops and abandoned buildings, you know, that we'd break into.

00:21:58.980 At this time, it was still the 90s, so it hadn't been completely gentrified yet.

00:22:04.140 But, so yeah, there's a cool factor to it, like rock and roll and punk.

00:22:09.280 And, you know, I met the girl that I'm talking about.

00:22:11.960 I met her in a mosh pit at CBGB's when she was like 13. 0.61

00:22:20.060 I was like 14, you know.

00:22:22.120 And so that was just the milieu, the vibe.

00:22:25.220 It was cool.

00:22:27.740 It felt like it, at least.

00:22:28.960 Yeah, well, maybe it was.

00:22:30.880 I mean, it's not obvious what you have to go through when you're young to get your head screwed on straight.

00:22:35.960 So, it took me 20 more years before I finally did.

00:22:39.780 Yeah, yeah.

00:22:40.680 Well, congratulations on managing it at all.

00:22:44.720 Yeah, thank you.

00:22:45.140 Yeah, all right.

00:22:47.160 All right, so you took these restaurant jobs.

00:22:49.780 Were they good for anything?

00:22:51.000 No, no, no.

00:22:51.700 I just, I had to get out of that.

00:22:53.480 And when I booked my first film, that was it.

00:22:57.520 I just started acting.

00:22:58.840 And I was still keeping it pretty humble.

00:23:01.040 I would do a job a year.

00:23:03.560 I'd make more money than I'd ever seen, 50 grand, you know, to do a movie.

00:23:09.640 And then I'd just make it last for the year.

00:23:12.660 And I'd still play with the movie.

00:23:13.420 So, what was your first movie?

00:23:15.500 It was called The Adventures of Sebastian Cole.

00:23:19.300 How old were you when you did that?

00:23:22.060 20, 21.

00:23:23.900 Yeah.

00:23:24.940 And did you have, it sounds like you had more offers than you took up.

00:23:29.920 Oh, yeah, I screwed up a lot of offers.

00:23:32.020 I could be a lot more famous than I am today.

00:23:35.320 But I just, I always reject, there's something that just didn't trust Hollywood.

00:23:40.220 I was always like, eh, that seems shady.

00:23:43.660 It seems shady.

00:23:45.080 And so, I resisted, I resisted, I resisted.

00:23:50.040 It wasn't until, and I had opportunities, I did, but I was bike messengering for a while.

00:23:56.040 Like, I would rather do anything than have to act if I didn't have to.

00:24:00.820 What do you, well, that's, it's strange.

00:24:02.520 It's ironic.

00:24:02.900 Well, it's strange in some ways, because you obviously have a knack for it.

00:24:06.340 You were rewarded for it when you went into the selective high school.

00:24:10.840 You got parts when you auditioned, so you obviously knew what you were doing.

00:24:14.860 And even, you said that you weren't necessarily reliable in consequence of the auditions,

00:24:20.200 but the offers kept coming.

00:24:21.600 Yeah.

00:24:21.740 So, it matched your ability.

00:24:25.220 So, what was it about the, well, and even, it, even, you would think to some degree,

00:24:31.620 it would match the romance too, you know, because you were, in principle, you had made films,

00:24:38.060 you were sort of artist on the street.

00:24:39.620 And so, like, what the hell was wrong with some success?

00:24:41.900 What, what was it that stopped you from that, do you think?

00:24:44.620 Nothing stopped me.

00:24:45.500 I mean, it happened anyway, despite myself.

00:24:48.200 But I was resistant to it.

00:24:50.040 I guess I did not want to be someone else's pawn.

00:24:55.040 You know, I didn't want to be someone, just like a, sort of a vapid shell for someone else

00:25:01.580 to use for their stories.

00:25:03.920 I had things that I wanted to say.

00:25:05.920 In fact, to just underscore the whole thing, Entourage, which is what I'm most known for,

00:25:12.820 kept coming at me to come audition, and I kept ignoring it.

00:25:21.360 And it wasn't until I was in Mexico, on my way to Cuba, I was going to sneak into Cuba to make 0.61

00:25:28.760 a documentary about Cuban hip-hop, which I found super interesting at the time.

00:25:33.200 And I had about $1,000 left from the last movie I did, six months ago.

00:25:38.040 And I was like, I could probably make this $1,000 stretch to make this film, come home,

00:25:44.340 get a job, and then make the movie on the side.

00:25:48.220 Or, you know, work on the side.

00:25:49.440 The documentary.

00:25:50.240 The documentary.

00:25:50.540 And when I was there, I would visit the internet cafe.

00:25:55.180 This is back when, you know, they didn't have, we didn't have cell phones and all that jazz.

00:25:59.120 So I'd go to the internet cafe to check my email every couple of days.

00:26:01.960 And my manager, he said, you have to read this.

00:26:06.220 And if you don't come back to LA to audition, you can find a new manager.

00:26:10.600 So essentially, he laid down the law.

00:26:12.700 And I knew on some level that if I kept turning my back on Hollywood, it would find another.

00:26:17.180 When did you go from New York to LA?

00:26:20.260 Well, I never technically lived in LA.

00:26:22.280 I always stayed in New York.

00:26:23.440 But I did spend a lot of time there shooting the film.

00:26:26.640 But I kept my residence in New York.

00:26:29.260 All right.

00:26:29.600 So you were doing sporadic movies.

00:26:32.500 Correct.

00:26:32.960 You were obviously successful in that so that people were aware of you.

00:26:36.620 Your name got around.

00:26:37.680 How did you come up on the Entourage hit list?

00:26:40.320 Yeah, it was indie films, a lot of indie films like Sundance, Starling, that kind of thing.

00:26:46.900 I did a couple of teeny bopper movies.

00:26:49.080 So I had a little bit of clout in Hollywood.

00:26:52.680 But here's this unique role where someone has to play a celebrity.

00:26:57.420 And all celebrities who would be celebrities, who would be good for the role, are already celebrities and would never do this pilot, which it was at the time.

00:27:06.880 Or they'd want more money than the budget would account for.

00:27:11.320 So you had to find someone who embodied, like who had that celebrity charisma.

00:27:19.280 There you go.

00:27:19.820 Yeah.

00:27:19.880 And I guess part of my nonchalance and me ignoring them made them think, wow, who is this guy?

00:27:28.420 Like he must be something, right?

00:27:30.740 And when my manager sort of put the law down and I said, okay, I'll come, but can you send me a plane ticket?

00:27:39.640 He flew me out.

00:27:41.960 And this was what year?

00:27:44.360 How old were you then?

00:27:44.940 I'm about 28.

00:27:46.680 Okay.

00:27:47.060 And so you spent nine years before you had, what would you say, solid, reliable, continual?

00:27:56.240 Wealth.

00:27:56.880 Yes.

00:27:57.420 Wealth.

00:27:57.800 Yes.

00:27:58.120 And work?

00:27:58.760 You were working sporadically, a project a year or something like that?

00:28:01.840 But, you know, I lived in an apartment with a bunch of roommates and so I was just living really, you know, meek.

00:28:11.840 Right, right, right.

00:28:13.120 And you weren't interested in money?

00:28:15.260 No.

00:28:16.240 Mm-mm.

00:28:18.020 I mean, I have much more respect for money now.

00:28:21.560 You are definitely a strange actor.

00:28:23.800 You don't want the spotlight and you're not interested in money.

00:28:26.900 Yeah.

00:28:26.980 So that's a hard thing to square with a career in acting.

00:28:33.080 God bless actors.

00:28:34.520 I don't always get along with them.

00:28:37.100 I think for the reason, for those reasons, you know, when I, you know, it feels like it's about them and what they want.

00:28:45.360 Yeah.

00:28:45.800 They're the instrument.

00:28:47.500 Well, they're the stars, you know.

00:28:49.060 Well, you know, what kind of goes along with the territory?

00:28:51.060 I mean, people in media, people in politics, people in entertainment, they tilt towards narcissism.

00:28:57.200 And I'm not saying that in an insulting way.

00:28:59.400 I mean, every personality constellation has its associated vices.

00:29:05.000 Now, and if you're going to want to be on camera, if you're going to want to be around people, that's one of the things that tilts you in the direction of it sort of being about you.

00:29:14.560 And if you're a charismatic personality and you're an actor, you're going to attract people around you who facilitate that development, let's say.

00:29:23.660 And so it's part and parcel of the territory.

00:29:26.920 But you're not really temperamentally like that.

00:29:29.200 Oh, I cultivated my narcissism, okay.

00:29:31.900 Yeah.

00:29:32.200 No, I definitely found that part within me that was the character of Vince.

00:29:39.220 And I, you know, they say actors get lost in their characters, right?

00:29:44.740 Yeah.

00:29:45.740 And I did.

00:29:47.440 How long did Entourage run?

00:29:49.400 10 years.

00:29:50.540 Right, right.

00:29:51.520 Yeah.

00:29:51.760 So that's a very major chunk of time.

00:29:53.680 Oh, yeah.

00:29:54.240 Yeah, well, so walk me through that.

00:29:55.760 So you got your plane ticket.

00:29:57.460 You went out to LA.

00:29:59.540 What happened then?

00:30:00.420 Got the part.

00:30:01.340 When my manager found out that I got the part, he walked into the room and I had no place to stay.

00:30:06.480 I had no car.

00:30:07.340 So I'm in his office checking my email again.

00:30:10.980 And he walks in and he was the first person to call me Vince.

00:30:15.320 He's like, Vince.

00:30:16.880 And I knew I got the part and I hung my head.

00:30:20.100 Because I knew that it was going to totally change my life in ways that I didn't know if I really wanted.

00:30:25.360 And I knew that I was going to have to commit to this.

00:30:27.520 Because he used to tell me, he's like, you don't even know what you don't know.

00:30:31.900 Like, you're going to have access and women and money and all these things. 0.99

00:30:36.860 Yeah, yeah.

00:30:37.080 Because he was, you know, managing other famous people.

00:30:40.160 So he understood.

00:30:41.140 And he's like, you don't even know you want it.

00:30:43.120 But when you get it, you'll know you want it.

00:30:44.800 You know, you'll know it's great.

00:30:47.280 And it was going to change my life.

00:30:48.860 And because it's a commitment.

00:30:49.820 When you audition for something like that, you have to sign a six-year contract.

00:30:54.480 Right.

00:30:54.800 So you're already committed before they even give you the role.

00:30:58.400 And it did.

00:30:59.100 It changed my life entirely.

00:31:00.400 And I had to learn to be that celebrity.

00:31:03.480 Or my own version.

00:31:04.820 My own expression of that celebrity.

00:31:07.660 And then with the success of the show and the popularity of the characters.

00:31:13.660 And people would come up to me and, you know, instant approval.

00:31:17.540 Instant.

00:31:17.800 And you walk into a room and, you know, yay.

00:31:19.720 Yeah.

00:31:20.180 You know, you get that attention.

00:31:22.260 That just acceptance.

00:31:27.180 Had that happened to you at all before?

00:31:28.660 I mean, you'd had some success as an actor before that.

00:31:32.640 But not like that.

00:31:33.640 Not like that.

00:31:34.260 Oh, totally different.

00:31:35.380 Yeah.

00:31:35.760 I mean.

00:31:36.080 And you were?

00:31:36.720 So you were about 28, you said?

00:31:38.660 28, 27, 28.

00:31:39.680 Okay.

00:31:39.980 So you're not a kid when this happens.

00:31:41.540 No.

00:31:41.740 So that's something.

00:31:42.380 So, all right.

00:31:43.580 So now you have what?

00:31:45.640 You said instant accessibility.

00:31:47.460 Instant approval.

00:31:48.560 Right.

00:31:49.280 Tell me about the character that you played.

00:31:51.220 And how that tangled up into that.

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00:33:03.200 Yeah, so Vince is a celebrity who's, you know, very, very nonchalant.

00:33:09.480 And, you know, the whole theme is if this doesn't work out, if all the fame and fortune doesn't work out, I can always move back to Queens.

00:33:21.760 So it was like a perfect, talk about typecast, right?

00:33:26.380 Yeah.

00:33:26.600 I mean, all the characters have.

00:33:28.240 That's very strange.

00:33:29.280 We're all New York kids and, you know, and we were all very well cast, you know.

00:33:34.260 But I think that's partly they were writing the character to reflect me.

00:33:39.700 Oh, yeah.

00:33:40.160 Okay.

00:33:40.680 And partly that was the character that was, because.

00:33:44.240 Right.

00:33:44.620 So that's fun trying to distinguish your actual life from your role.

00:33:48.100 It was more fun to blur the lines because you start to acquiesce to people's wanting you to be the character.

00:33:58.920 Oh, do shots with us, right?

00:34:00.320 Yeah.

00:34:00.820 Okay, I'll, you know, do some shots with these guys and I like people.

00:34:04.400 Yeah.

00:34:05.200 And then, you know, then there's the pitfalls and the women and the, you know. 1.00

00:34:11.160 And I started to believe that that was the way it's supposed to be, right?

00:34:17.160 You mean, supposed to be meaning the characteristic of success?

00:34:20.920 Vince gets all the girls and the money and the power and the fame and that was appropriate and good.

00:34:27.560 And as his star rose, my star rose, and it just became easier and easier to say yes to the indulgences.

00:34:37.360 And I got really good at it.

00:34:38.600 Whereas before I was leery of it.

00:34:40.380 Yeah.

00:34:41.680 You get, you know, you allow yourself to enjoy it, you know, very easily.

00:34:47.220 It becomes easy to say yes.

00:34:50.440 What do you do?

00:34:51.060 Especially when it's justified.

00:34:52.460 Well, you're the celebrity, of course.

00:34:53.860 You know, you get the accolades.

00:34:56.120 You must know a little bit about that yourself.

00:34:58.060 I mean, your life has changed.

00:34:59.160 Well, this all happened to me when I was pretty old.

00:35:01.240 Oh.

00:35:01.760 Right.

00:35:02.060 So, I mean, I was laboring under some degree of obscurity until I was about 50.

00:35:07.940 Right.

00:35:08.200 You know, 53, 54.

00:35:09.840 So, you know, I was already fairly cemented into place by the time I...

00:35:15.100 That's right.

00:35:15.700 Yeah.

00:35:16.120 Right, right.

00:35:16.920 And, you know, I have a very tight family and a very tight network of friends.

00:35:21.460 And so, that's also made a substantial difference to me.

00:35:25.620 I don't know what it would have been like to have encountered that sort of thing when

00:35:29.860 I was much younger.

00:35:31.080 I mean, I probably would have been wild, especially if I would have done it before I quit drinking.

00:35:36.360 So, I quit drinking when I was about 25, 26, something like that.

00:35:40.920 You know, and that straightens out your life pretty radically.

00:35:42.920 But I was pretty wild, you know, when I was drinking.

00:35:45.720 So, right.

00:35:46.860 So, you know, growing up in New York, there's a little bit of nihilism, godless, you know.

00:35:53.680 And this was now the overlay of my ego, which was, see, you know, I am the man.

00:36:04.400 Yeah.

00:36:04.640 You know, I got the part.

00:36:05.900 Yeah.

00:36:06.140 And people are, you know, approval, the proving of me.

00:36:09.720 Yeah.

00:36:10.140 So, it just...

00:36:11.960 Yeah, well, it's a very difficult thing.

00:36:13.520 I mean, I don't know exactly how it is that you can resist.

00:36:20.600 Part of being socialized is to pay attention to what others think of you, right?

00:36:25.380 I mean, that's part of being in the loop for accepting social feedback.

00:36:29.420 And normally, you know, you're not carried around on the shoulders of others constantly.

00:36:34.520 But you found yourself in that situation, essentially.

00:36:37.580 It's like, it isn't obvious to me how people can withstand that.

00:36:41.320 I've talked to Russell Brand a little bit about that because he was spectacularly successful.

00:36:45.480 And also, you know, what would you say?

00:36:49.680 In the market for whatever appetitive urges might make themselves manifest.

00:36:55.640 And so, you know, he's talked to me a little bit about that.

00:36:58.000 And he paid, I would say, a relatively heavy price for that.

00:37:01.240 He and I might have been friends if we weren't competing for the same chicks.

00:37:04.740 Aha.

00:37:05.440 Aha.

00:37:05.840 Did you know him?

00:37:06.620 Did you know him in L.A.?

00:37:07.560 We crossed paths a few times.

00:37:08.700 Aha.

00:37:09.620 Aha.

00:37:10.060 All right.

00:37:11.080 So now you're in, now, so this is very interesting.

00:37:14.360 You resisted this.

00:37:17.060 And now you're, now you were spending your primary amount of time in L.A. when Entourage was?

00:37:24.620 Six, eight months a year.

00:37:25.860 Yeah, okay.

00:37:26.280 And then I go back to New York.

00:37:27.260 And by the way.

00:37:28.100 And you didn't have a house in L.A.

00:37:29.880 I had a house, but I stayed when I was there.

00:37:32.540 Yeah, okay, okay.

00:37:33.580 I kept my New York address and I got mail there and my bills there.

00:37:37.280 So, um, paid taxes there.

00:37:41.500 So, so funny enough, like I, um, you should, you should check out, I actually made a documentary.

00:37:51.500 So I, simultaneously while I'm on this ride and I'm finding more and more excuses to indulge and enjoy the lifestyle,

00:37:58.400 I was maintaining a sense of my goodness by doing environmental work and starting charities and making documentaries.

00:38:09.500 And I still had a band the whole time.

00:38:12.220 In fact, the band really, uh, got popular after that, even though we might not have deserved it otherwise.

00:38:18.160 Um, so I, I still had my other life, which kept me feeling like I was not, not swept up in that right thing.

00:38:28.580 Right, right, right.

00:38:30.480 But not really recognizing how much I really was, um, you know, captured.

00:38:37.140 Okay, so then, so why not be captured?

00:38:41.100 Like, I mean, you were successful, you got the part, uh, the part was successful, the, the, um, the series was successful.

00:38:50.640 And you have these things that are laid at your feet.

00:38:53.560 So what's the problem with indulging?

00:38:56.620 It, you know, I thought I was going to live my whole life, uh, in that lifestyle.

00:39:02.980 And I couldn't figure out a way, like my logic mind could not understand why I would do it any other way.

00:39:10.660 Yeah.

00:39:11.420 Um, I didn't, I didn't believe in God.

00:39:14.980 I didn't, you know, I, I was, I was open and poly and, you know, liberal and, and I thought I was a good person.

00:39:23.420 I really did.

00:39:24.600 And, um, it wasn't until I was in my forties and the love of my life, who I was dating at the time, she dumped me.

00:39:38.900 She, and she, in no uncertain terms said, you are the worst. 0.92

00:39:44.960 You're, you know, you need to look at, and she gave me a list. 0.96

00:39:48.860 She even did.

00:39:49.440 She, she, she was a, you know.

00:39:51.600 She was thorough.

00:39:52.340 She was nice enough to give me a list.

00:39:55.180 Take a look at how you're drinking.

00:39:56.600 Take about how you're using sex.

00:39:58.180 Take, take a look at all these things.

00:40:00.060 See, I'd lose my number.

00:40:02.860 And I, it was almost like a glitch in the matrix.

00:40:06.780 I was like, you know, for a second, I was like, what?

00:40:09.420 There's something off.

00:40:10.480 Like, how is it that this girl, she was young, you know, and she, she didn't like, here I am.

00:40:17.080 The powerful, rich, famous person who is justified in everything I'm doing because I also do charity.

00:40:25.660 And she's leaving me.

00:40:26.900 I could give her everything, access.

00:40:28.460 We could fly, like, we do everything.

00:40:30.140 Go around the world, anything.

00:40:31.380 And she's leaving me.

00:40:33.960 So that was, like, weird.

00:40:36.040 But I was like, all right, I'll find another girl.

00:40:38.860 Not a, not a problem.

00:40:40.840 But it stayed with me.

00:40:42.340 And because I loved her and respected her so much.

00:40:44.980 Why did you respect her?

00:40:48.760 Because I knew, I knew that she was honest.

00:40:54.180 And I knew that she was, she wanted what's best for me.

00:40:59.600 Hmm, I see.

00:41:00.580 So she actually loved you.

00:41:01.820 Yeah.

00:41:02.200 Oh, well, that's annoying.

00:41:04.380 Yeah.

00:41:05.360 Yeah.

00:41:06.400 Yeah.

00:41:06.840 And she, and it stayed with me.

00:41:09.280 And you said that the charity work you did and so forth, you're implying that, at least

00:41:17.060 in part, that that was, and what would you say, a moral flag to fly while you're living

00:41:23.040 in a moral life?

00:41:25.420 Yeah.

00:41:26.060 Yeah, yeah.

00:41:26.980 Did you know that at the time?

00:41:29.200 No, I literally, I legitimately believed that I'm glad that I'm the famous person with the

00:41:36.160 access and the money because I can actually make the world a better place.

00:41:39.840 Yeah.

00:41:40.200 Because I have a good heart.

00:41:41.720 Yeah.

00:41:42.280 And I think this is like my mother telling me, oh, you're a good, you know, and that's

00:41:47.660 a whole nother sidetrack, but, you know, moms that love their kids, they tell them they're

00:41:52.020 good.

00:41:52.540 Yeah.

00:41:53.320 And no one ever told me that I was bad or that I could be.

00:41:57.660 So I never really got to connect into the part of me that was treacherous and destructive

00:42:02.680 and selfish, because I always just imagined.

00:42:05.840 And this girl, she alerted you to that.

00:42:08.060 Oh, yeah.

00:42:09.060 Yeah.

00:42:09.460 And did that happen, like, were there hints of that before the breakup?

00:42:15.080 There was a looming dread in my life.

00:42:18.600 Like, life is perfect?

00:42:21.240 Wait a minute.

00:42:22.540 Why is my life perfect?

00:42:23.780 There's nothing wrong with my life.

00:42:26.220 Like, I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

00:42:28.420 I'm like, well, is it death?

00:42:30.200 Is that what I'm just afraid of?

00:42:31.440 Or is there, what is it?

00:42:33.280 There's something that I'm not connecting into.

00:42:35.400 And quite frankly, I was all head.

00:42:42.140 I was all intellect and groin. 1.00

00:42:45.320 I was all head and cock. 0.99

00:42:46.660 Like, I didn't have any feeling in here. 0.99

00:42:49.400 I didn't have any intuition.

00:42:50.800 I was totally disconnected from.

00:42:53.720 Now, you tied that, at least provisionally,

00:42:57.520 to your mother's insistence that you were essentially good, right?

00:43:03.780 So you hadn't been called on your misbehavior.

00:43:07.020 Well, I think that when I was younger,

00:43:08.920 there was some traumatic things that happened to me

00:43:11.660 that were so painful that I sort of dissociated

00:43:15.600 and decided I didn't want to feel anymore.

00:43:18.000 This is what I've come to realize.

00:43:20.280 Now, later in life, after taking my ex-girlfriend's list

00:43:30.540 and then starting to investigate,

00:43:33.780 and so what I did was a hard thing.

00:43:37.120 I cut up all of the distractions,

00:43:40.040 all of the addictions and consumptions

00:43:43.320 and, you know, no alcohol, no sex,

00:43:48.480 you know, celibate for a long time

00:43:50.140 and basically removing everything that was keeping me,

00:43:54.160 you know, my dopamine hits high.

00:43:56.660 Yeah.

00:43:56.980 Were you still working on Entourage during this time?

00:43:59.120 No.

00:43:59.480 No.

00:43:59.740 So this is after this, that came to an end.

00:44:02.940 Yes.

00:44:03.500 Were you involved in any other acting endeavor?

00:44:06.760 No.

00:44:06.900 In fact, I quit acting during this period.

00:44:09.540 Uh-huh.

00:44:09.860 I called my agent and I said,

00:44:11.820 I need some time to figure some stuff out.

00:44:15.160 So I don't want you to waste your time

00:44:16.740 putting me up for things

00:44:17.660 because I'm just not going to work for a while.

00:44:21.220 Uh-huh.

00:44:21.900 Burst into tears because it was like,

00:44:24.220 who am I now?

00:44:26.180 Right.

00:44:26.480 What am I?

00:44:27.540 Right.

00:44:28.320 And that began a multi-year process of me,

00:44:33.360 well, first of all,

00:44:35.700 cutting out all the distractions enough

00:44:37.820 for me to see what was going on inside

00:44:39.520 and ground and come down to earth

00:44:44.780 and start to realize that I had a lot of pain.

00:44:46.840 I had a lot of childhood trauma

00:44:50.080 that I was not, you know,

00:44:53.380 that was metastasized inside of me.

00:44:57.800 And so that really began my steps towards,

00:45:03.600 I think, growing up.

00:45:05.720 And so what did that look like growing up

00:45:10.940 as far as you're concerned?

00:45:12.060 What changed?

00:45:12.940 I mean, you said you started to cut out

00:45:15.480 the distractions, the addictions,

00:45:18.700 the immediate pleasures.

00:45:20.460 Yes.

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00:46:42.640 I left you.

00:46:44.920 Yeah, she was very explicit. 0.96

00:46:48.120 She's a smart, intuitive woman,

00:46:50.180 so she knew exactly where I should look.

00:46:52.580 So she gave me a map,

00:46:53.940 and I started to look,

00:46:55.960 and she was right, you know.

00:46:57.200 And it was just opening up the door, though,

00:47:00.500 and then, you know,

00:47:01.320 the path was long, deep, and dark.

00:47:03.580 I mean, I went through, you know,

00:47:05.100 multi-year dark night of the soul

00:47:06.640 and, you know,

00:47:08.780 had to come out the other end,

00:47:11.120 awkward and finding, you know,

00:47:13.300 a new way of being in the world

00:47:16.540 without all of the...

00:47:18.580 Yeah, and so what did that new way involve?

00:47:21.740 What changed?

00:47:22.900 I mean, I know you stopped.

00:47:24.260 Like, there's the things you stopped doing.

00:47:26.660 Yeah.

00:47:27.060 But that just leaves,

00:47:29.020 well, that leaves an emptiness in your life.

00:47:30.900 I mean, that's the problem

00:47:31.720 with cutting out anything that's,

00:47:33.300 let's call it addictive.

00:47:34.560 It's like, well,

00:47:35.300 that's how you spend your time.

00:47:36.560 So now you stop doing that.

00:47:37.900 You don't even have the same friends anymore.

00:47:40.740 So...

00:47:41.300 What I realized is I didn't want to die alone.

00:47:43.960 I wanted a family.

00:47:45.440 Uh-huh.

00:47:45.780 I wanted partnership.

00:47:48.160 I wanted to have children.

00:47:52.560 Hmm.

00:47:54.520 How come you hadn't known that before?

00:47:59.640 My dad left.

00:48:01.120 Yeah.

00:48:03.800 I didn't, you know,

00:48:05.040 life is scary.

00:48:05.900 Life is upsetting.

00:48:06.780 I didn't believe that

00:48:08.400 that was an honorable pursuit.

00:48:10.180 I thought it was a tragic pursuit.

00:48:14.400 The pursuit?

00:48:14.960 I didn't think I could be a good father.

00:48:18.320 Oh, I see.

00:48:19.220 I didn't know if I was going to be able

00:48:20.740 to be there for my kid.

00:48:23.220 Right.

00:48:23.940 And...

00:48:24.380 Yeah, well, you would have that doubt

00:48:26.020 if your father left

00:48:26.860 because how the hell would you know?

00:48:28.100 You didn't have the model.

00:48:29.140 In fact, you have the reverse model.

00:48:30.800 Well, and I was selfish too.

00:48:31.960 Like, I really just wanted pleasure.

00:48:33.640 I was hedonistic.

00:48:34.440 I was seeking, you know,

00:48:35.900 the next hit, you know,

00:48:38.660 and not...

00:48:40.640 You know, I was still adolescent punk.

00:48:43.360 Yeah.

00:48:44.100 I was still that punk

00:48:44.860 in the streets.

00:48:45.740 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:48:47.120 Just with more stuff

00:48:48.180 and more opportunity.

00:48:49.220 Right, right, right.

00:48:50.660 Yeah, which isn't necessarily

00:48:51.920 an advantage

00:48:52.580 if the path you're on

00:48:54.700 is, like, scattering you everywhere.

00:48:56.880 Yeah.

00:48:58.120 All right, so how long

00:48:59.260 did you spend

00:49:00.000 sorting yourself out?

00:49:02.140 Two, two and a half years.

00:49:03.680 I, you know,

00:49:07.880 I confronted a lot

00:49:08.980 and I realized that I...

00:49:12.500 So I was given a little tip

00:49:14.480 from a healer,

00:49:16.880 from a mentor

00:49:17.440 who said,

00:49:19.360 you have to get in the earth.

00:49:21.340 You have to ground yourself.

00:49:23.140 Like, be in the soil.

00:49:27.820 And she... 1.00

00:49:29.500 I was like, all right.

00:49:30.440 So what I did,

00:49:31.660 I actually had a place

00:49:32.440 here in Austin

00:49:33.020 on the east side.

00:49:35.180 I had a little bungalow

00:49:36.540 with a little camper.

00:49:38.160 So I quit everything.

00:49:40.020 I stopped all the distractions

00:49:42.220 and all the indulgences

00:49:43.360 and the escape.

00:49:44.140 And I just started meditating

00:49:45.520 and started listening

00:49:47.280 to wiser people than me.

00:49:49.820 I started listening to you

00:49:50.980 and other...

00:49:52.140 That's never a good thing.

00:49:53.500 It worked.

00:49:53.980 It worked to some degree.

00:49:55.160 But, you know,

00:49:56.980 you realize there's so many...

00:50:00.360 There's so much information

00:50:02.140 that you can...

00:50:04.480 So much wisdom

00:50:05.480 and education

00:50:06.660 that I hadn't tapped into

00:50:08.700 because I was distracted.

00:50:10.920 And so I was seeking advice

00:50:12.280 from elders

00:50:12.740 and counsel from friends

00:50:14.640 and starting to orient myself

00:50:17.000 with people

00:50:17.720 who I saw as having...

00:50:21.160 Living a life

00:50:21.900 that I think

00:50:22.780 that I might want.

00:50:23.560 So I changed my friend group

00:50:25.560 and just started DMing them.

00:50:29.400 And luckily for me,

00:50:30.800 because I'm somewhat famous,

00:50:31.960 people would respond.

00:50:34.040 And anyway,

00:50:35.540 this one woman,

00:50:36.220 she's like,

00:50:36.540 you need to ground yourself

00:50:37.380 and get in the earth.

00:50:38.100 So what I did

00:50:39.120 is I moved into my camper

00:50:40.120 and I lived there for a year.

00:50:42.100 Small little 50 square foot camper,

00:50:45.860 whatever it was.

00:50:47.200 And I started building

00:50:48.740 a community garden.

00:50:51.000 And I was just digging the soil

00:50:52.420 and planting and digging

00:50:53.440 and working,

00:50:54.560 meditating

00:50:54.980 and cooking in an open fire.

00:50:58.640 And people...

00:50:59.100 I grew a beard.

00:51:00.240 And then the pandemic hit.

00:51:02.820 And I was like,

00:51:03.820 perfect.

00:51:04.540 Like,

00:51:04.820 I'm already,

00:51:05.960 you know,

00:51:07.460 solo in isolation.

00:51:10.080 I don't...

00:51:10.780 It didn't affect me at all.

00:51:12.240 It didn't change anything.

00:51:13.000 I just kept doing the work,

00:51:13.900 kept doing the work.

00:51:14.980 Got really healthy,

00:51:15.920 worked out.

00:51:18.040 And it worked.

00:51:19.840 I mean,

00:51:20.120 the grounding was profound.

00:51:22.380 And that's when I realized

00:51:23.300 that I wanted to change

00:51:24.460 my whole life

00:51:25.340 to be closer to nature.

00:51:28.240 All this environmental activism

00:51:30.080 that I was doing,

00:51:31.000 this legislation

00:51:32.360 and hearts and minds

00:51:34.500 and, you know,

00:51:35.580 consumer behavior,

00:51:37.260 all that stuff that I was doing,

00:51:38.880 UN Environment Ambassador,

00:51:40.100 all that stuff

00:51:40.740 was just so out there.

00:51:42.880 It was outside of myself.

00:51:44.580 What I wanted to do

00:51:45.280 is just

00:51:45.660 do the work.

00:51:47.620 Like,

00:51:47.860 be...

00:51:48.540 Learn the skills

00:51:49.420 to actually

00:51:50.140 support the earth.

00:51:52.760 It's like right here,

00:51:54.020 right now.

00:51:55.980 You know,

00:51:56.480 and I realized how much

00:51:57.300 I didn't respect

00:51:59.800 and appreciate

00:52:00.340 what farmers do.

00:52:01.300 And I was like,

00:52:01.720 I want them to make

00:52:03.460 all these changes

00:52:04.080 for the environment,

00:52:04.860 but I don't even understand

00:52:05.920 what they do,

00:52:06.760 why they do what they do

00:52:08.200 and why they would choose

00:52:09.380 one thing over another.

00:52:12.160 So I said,

00:52:12.820 this is what I'm doing.

00:52:13.860 I'm going to...

00:52:14.520 I'm going to be the one

00:52:16.040 that knows about farming.

00:52:17.740 I'm going to be the one

00:52:18.420 that knows how to grow food 0.99

00:52:20.000 and build a skill

00:52:21.080 so that I can feed myself.

00:52:24.100 I can

00:52:24.720 feed my family,

00:52:26.980 take care of myself

00:52:27.700 and my family.

00:52:29.080 And what was happening

00:52:30.040 on the romantic side

00:52:31.020 during this period?

00:52:32.520 Utterly alone,

00:52:33.600 sad,

00:52:34.460 lonely.

00:52:35.580 And by the way,

00:52:36.760 like I,

00:52:37.120 you know,

00:52:37.360 cut out porn

00:52:38.100 and,

00:52:38.680 you know, 0.71

00:52:38.980 no masturbation, 0.88

00:52:39.840 so I didn't even have that. 0.82

00:52:41.000 You know,

00:52:41.120 I'm sitting there

00:52:42.720 just with myself.

00:52:46.020 you know,

00:52:49.240 and I know

00:52:49.600 that I knew

00:52:50.220 that was a big

00:52:51.020 distraction as well.

00:52:56.380 Why'd you stick with it?

00:53:00.680 Well,

00:53:02.500 so there's one time

00:53:04.440 I was,

00:53:06.120 I think I was going

00:53:06.940 to Cannes or something,

00:53:08.220 the Cannes Film Festival,

00:53:09.640 and I hitched a ride

00:53:11.220 on this billionaire's

00:53:12.940 private plane.

00:53:14.160 And he was 80,

00:53:16.000 he was old

00:53:16.620 and gray hair,

00:53:17.560 and he gets

00:53:18.960 on the plane

00:53:19.680 and he has

00:53:20.780 like six

00:53:21.940 hot young

00:53:23.380 models with him.

00:53:26.120 And at the,

00:53:26.660 my mentality

00:53:27.900 at the time,

00:53:28.880 I was like, 0.99

00:53:29.600 damn, 0.99

00:53:29.920 this guy's the man. 1.00

00:53:31.100 Like,

00:53:31.260 look at him.

00:53:32.040 He's,

00:53:32.460 he's 80

00:53:33.480 and he's still got it.

00:53:34.720 Yeah.

00:53:35.300 And there was just

00:53:36.100 a little voice in my head

00:53:37.080 is like,

00:53:37.360 I hope I can

00:53:38.060 still do that

00:53:39.040 when I'm his age.

00:53:40.360 A little voice.

00:53:42.040 And then I realized,

00:53:43.440 Adrian,

00:53:44.280 you do whatever you want.

00:53:46.380 Whatever you say

00:53:47.260 happens. 1.00

00:53:48.240 You can manifest shit. 1.00

00:53:49.720 You know, 1.00

00:53:50.060 you know

00:53:50.740 that you will have that.

00:53:52.620 And it just,

00:53:53.720 it like really

00:53:54.700 shuddered me.

00:53:55.300 I was like, 1.00

00:53:55.540 holy shit, 1.00

00:53:56.000 wait a minute. 1.00

00:53:57.340 I don't want that.

00:53:59.180 I realized in that moment,

00:54:00.420 I was like,

00:54:00.700 that's exactly

00:54:01.300 what I don't want.

00:54:03.120 And so I started

00:54:04.000 to rewrite

00:54:05.300 what I actually want.

00:54:07.800 Why did you figure that out?

00:54:09.080 Like,

00:54:10.380 I mean,

00:54:10.800 you said,

00:54:11.520 you know,

00:54:11.740 your first impression was

00:54:13.060 it's like Hugh Hefner

00:54:15.040 and his blonde chicks 1.00

00:54:16.060 going around Europe.

00:54:17.240 I mean,

00:54:17.440 what fun for everyone.

00:54:18.820 I watched that show

00:54:19.820 a couple of times

00:54:20.580 and I thought,

00:54:21.880 I might have been

00:54:22.180 on that episode.

00:54:23.960 Yeah.

00:54:24.440 Well,

00:54:24.640 it seemed like

00:54:25.460 a pretty dismal

00:54:26.080 form of hell to me.

00:54:28.100 So,

00:54:28.420 and,

00:54:29.480 well,

00:54:31.260 why?

00:54:31.920 Well,

00:54:32.560 none of it's real.

00:54:33.780 I guess that's

00:54:34.460 the fundamental issue

00:54:35.380 is none of it's real.

00:54:36.420 There's,

00:54:37.380 and maybe that's

00:54:38.240 part of that longing

00:54:39.140 that you described

00:54:39.980 for a long-term relationship

00:54:41.960 and for kids.

00:54:43.400 Yeah,

00:54:43.520 I wrestled with these questions.

00:54:44.600 I was like,

00:54:44.980 what do I really want?

00:54:46.060 Why do I want it?

00:54:46.800 And,

00:54:47.220 you know,

00:54:48.100 pushing up against

00:54:49.620 my impulses,

00:54:50.780 my instincts,

00:54:51.800 the carnal part of me

00:54:52.840 that wanted me

00:54:53.640 to keep doing

00:54:54.320 the same things.

00:54:55.240 But as I started to,

00:54:57.260 you know what it was also?

00:55:02.280 I wanted to,

00:55:03.700 I wanted to protect

00:55:06.020 and take care

00:55:07.740 of,

00:55:11.140 I wanted to be a protector.

00:55:13.580 Hmm.

00:55:15.580 I didn't want to be the one.

00:55:16.840 That's a really different role

00:55:18.100 than user.

00:55:19.500 Yeah.

00:55:20.920 Yeah.

00:55:21.480 And,

00:55:21.860 and because this is coming off

00:55:23.900 of the inspiration

00:55:25.620 that my ex-girlfriend gave me,

00:55:27.300 which was,

00:55:28.540 take a look at yourself.

00:55:29.940 You've hurt me.

00:55:30.420 And I saw her tears.

00:55:31.340 I saw the pain

00:55:32.360 that I caused her.

00:55:34.060 And when I got over the fact,

00:55:36.040 I was like,

00:55:36.280 you know,

00:55:37.000 you've made your choices.

00:55:38.400 Yeah.

00:55:38.660 You,

00:55:38.940 you chose to be with me.

00:55:40.280 I told you who I was.

00:55:42.060 Right.

00:55:43.060 When I started to realize

00:55:44.320 that I was not taking care of her

00:55:46.060 and that I was actively

00:55:47.740 hurting her,

00:55:50.600 I didn't want to be that person.

00:55:52.860 Mm-hmm.

00:55:53.680 And then

00:55:54.340 when I finally had an awakening,

00:55:57.280 like, I mean.

00:55:57.660 Does she know

00:55:58.300 that all this happened to you

00:55:59.900 in the aftermath of her note?

00:56:01.940 She does.

00:56:03.280 Are you still in touch?

00:56:04.380 We are.

00:56:06.180 Yeah.

00:56:06.700 Is she married?

00:56:07.920 She is.

00:56:08.480 Does she have kids?

00:56:12.160 She does.

00:56:12.920 Mm-hmm.

00:56:13.680 We,

00:56:14.200 we both happen to have

00:56:15.900 a kid with the same name.

00:56:17.700 Oh.

00:56:18.520 Hmm.

00:56:20.060 So,

00:56:20.700 okay,

00:56:21.080 so,

00:56:21.320 so,

00:56:21.920 run me up into that.

00:56:23.300 You obviously met someone.

00:56:25.780 Well,

00:56:26.640 her son is my son.

00:56:29.520 So,

00:56:30.220 we ended up

00:56:31.620 getting back together.

00:56:32.560 Oh,

00:56:33.180 you did?

00:56:33.680 Yeah.

00:56:34.200 Oh.

00:56:35.080 Hmm.

00:56:35.780 How long did that take?

00:56:36.940 It took a long time.

00:56:38.480 It took a long time.

00:56:39.900 So,

00:56:40.100 I had to,

00:56:40.480 you know,

00:56:41.380 I had to

00:56:41.960 become a new thing,

00:56:44.880 a new person

00:56:45.560 and totally change everything.

00:56:48.920 And then I had to convince her

00:56:50.820 that I had changed.

00:56:52.860 How much age difference

00:56:53.920 is there between you?

00:56:56.020 18,

00:56:56.500 17 years.

00:56:57.060 I see.

00:56:57.520 Okay.

00:56:57.940 Yeah.

00:56:58.700 And she wasn't happy.

00:56:59.540 I mean,

00:56:59.720 she,

00:57:00.020 she was like,

00:57:01.140 yeah,

00:57:01.360 right.

00:57:02.120 You know?

00:57:02.340 Yeah,

00:57:02.600 right.

00:57:03.420 Yeah,

00:57:03.660 well,

00:57:04.000 that sort of changed.

00:57:04.840 That's a lot of change.

00:57:06.120 Yeah.

00:57:07.240 Yeah.

00:57:07.520 And this was

00:57:08.040 during the pandemic

00:57:09.240 and she was in Europe

00:57:10.160 and I had to pull

00:57:12.400 a lot of strings

00:57:13.100 to like get to see her

00:57:14.560 and

00:57:14.980 she was at arm's length

00:57:17.740 for a long time

00:57:19.220 and I had to

00:57:20.520 consistently

00:57:21.260 show up

00:57:22.800 as the new me

00:57:23.920 while she's poking 0.92

00:57:26.180 and prodding me

00:57:26.800 and making sure that

00:57:27.920 How long did you have

00:57:28.520 to do that?

00:57:29.260 It was a year and a half.

00:57:31.180 Yeah,

00:57:31.600 you know,

00:57:32.160 and

00:57:32.400 So,

00:57:32.600 she put you through

00:57:33.220 your paces.

00:57:33.780 Well,

00:57:34.300 and also I'm like,

00:57:35.100 I'm not,

00:57:35.740 I'm not,

00:57:36.300 I'm not dating anyone.

00:57:38.720 I'm not distracted.

00:57:39.860 I will spare no expense

00:57:41.320 and I will take as long

00:57:43.180 as it takes

00:57:43.800 for us to heal

00:57:45.100 without any expectation

00:57:46.600 that we're going to,

00:57:48.080 you know,

00:57:48.640 be together.

00:57:49.300 And keep in mind,

00:57:50.040 like I,

00:57:50.440 I've been celibate for,

00:57:52.260 you know,

00:57:53.080 almost a year,

00:57:54.360 eight months

00:57:54.880 and then when we're with her,

00:57:56.820 she's like,

00:57:57.160 okay,

00:57:57.420 well,

00:57:57.620 you,

00:57:57.840 you know,

00:57:58.060 if you're going to be dating anyone,

00:57:59.060 I don't want to even talk to you.

00:58:00.760 I was like,

00:58:00.960 all right.

00:58:01.700 So,

00:58:02.220 I basically had to double down

00:58:04.300 until we,

00:58:08.000 you know,

00:58:08.360 many years,

00:58:09.440 many months later,

00:58:10.760 finally had some breakthroughs

00:58:13.660 and I wasn't expecting

00:58:15.340 to be back with her

00:58:16.480 but we,

00:58:18.460 we fell in love again.

00:58:20.360 Who?

00:58:20.780 Anew.

00:58:21.400 We fell in love.

00:58:22.040 Where were you?

00:58:23.180 When we fell in love.

00:58:24.100 Yeah,

00:58:24.440 yeah.

00:58:26.060 So,

00:58:26.520 this was in Portugal.

00:58:28.300 Yeah,

00:58:28.700 and that was just the beginning

00:58:29.680 of a new romance

00:58:31.940 and,

00:58:33.540 and she tested me

00:58:35.620 and I,

00:58:36.020 and I was struggling still

00:58:37.700 because it hadn't really,

00:58:40.240 it was new.

00:58:40.800 I was like a toddler

00:58:42.200 trying to walk

00:58:42.940 for the first time,

00:58:43.920 you know,

00:58:44.420 and,

00:58:46.560 and,

00:58:47.820 and then eventually

00:58:48.760 she moved

00:58:50.660 to Austin

00:58:51.560 and then we,

00:58:53.460 I told her

00:58:53.920 I wanted to buy some land.

00:58:54.920 I wanted to do this life

00:58:56.240 and I,

00:58:56.600 and I,

00:58:56.920 I've been holding off,

00:58:58.080 I've been waiting

00:58:58.820 to,

00:59:00.420 to,

00:59:00.780 to move into land

00:59:02.460 until my partner

00:59:03.460 showed up in my life

00:59:04.620 so that we could make

00:59:05.660 that choice together

00:59:06.500 so that it would be ours

00:59:07.620 as opposed to the old dynamic

00:59:09.140 was,

00:59:09.780 look it,

00:59:09.960 this is my life

00:59:10.700 and you can enter it

00:59:11.680 but like,

00:59:12.020 I have,

00:59:12.600 I hold all the cards

00:59:13.520 and it's all my stuff

00:59:14.520 and you're just,

00:59:16.100 you know,

00:59:17.120 lucky to be here.

00:59:18.560 Right, right.

00:59:19.100 This is now

00:59:20.340 ours

00:59:21.220 and,

00:59:23.340 and when she came

00:59:24.920 to Austin

00:59:26.060 and it,

00:59:28.520 things just clicked,

00:59:29.400 they started clicking.

00:59:30.560 It,

00:59:30.780 I was definitely

00:59:31.920 on the right path

00:59:33.120 because everything

00:59:33.820 was just unfolding

00:59:35.120 in such serendipity.

00:59:38.580 We went and found

00:59:39.400 a piece of land,

00:59:40.180 it was beautiful,

00:59:41.440 she fell in love with it,

00:59:42.200 I fell in love with it

00:59:43.040 and then,

00:59:44.360 you know,

00:59:44.700 now we've been,

00:59:46.340 I've been back together

00:59:47.260 for three and a half years,

00:59:50.760 got married,

00:59:52.720 we have a kid

00:59:53.400 and how old's your child?

00:59:56.980 Almost one.

00:59:58.520 11 months.

00:59:59.200 What's that been like?

01:00:00.740 You're happy about that.

01:00:01.880 Yeah,

01:00:02.240 I keep wanting to cry.

01:00:02.960 How are you as a father?

01:00:04.020 Huh?

01:00:04.580 How are you as a father?

01:00:05.600 I'm a great father.

01:00:06.440 How come?

01:00:10.440 Because I'm in service.

01:00:13.420 Yeah?

01:00:15.300 Yeah.

01:00:16.660 That's a good deal. 0.99

01:00:17.600 I'm fucking here. 1.00

01:00:18.720 I've designed my life 1.00

01:00:22.180 so that I could be there

01:00:23.220 with him

01:00:23.860 and with her

01:00:25.280 and so

01:00:26.600 reimagine

01:00:28.240 what my life could be

01:00:29.460 and it's

01:00:30.520 on land.

01:00:31.840 We have 46 acres,

01:00:33.260 we're building

01:00:33.600 a little nature community,

01:00:34.920 we have

01:00:35.260 a number of homes,

01:00:36.800 we're inviting people

01:00:37.780 to live there,

01:00:38.600 we have agriculture projects

01:00:40.120 that are all

01:00:40.940 supporting,

01:00:42.540 you know,

01:00:43.120 the whole

01:00:43.640 project

01:00:44.560 and

01:00:45.160 I get to do

01:00:46.880 that work every day

01:00:47.720 so it keeps me

01:00:48.720 grounded.

01:00:51.100 What kind of work

01:00:51.640 do you do?

01:00:53.740 So learning

01:00:54.560 all the skills

01:00:55.600 or trying to learn.

01:00:57.100 I'm certainly

01:00:57.860 definitely

01:00:58.460 still an apprentice

01:01:00.200 of the land.

01:01:01.400 Yeah.

01:01:01.700 You know,

01:01:02.000 I spent 40 something years

01:01:03.380 in New York

01:01:03.920 and now I'm just

01:01:04.620 trying to keep things alive

01:01:06.480 and learning,

01:01:07.600 you know,

01:01:08.060 about,

01:01:09.280 you know,

01:01:09.600 the snakes

01:01:10.080 and how to wrangle them

01:01:11.000 and not try and kill everything

01:01:12.560 that scares me

01:01:13.540 but try and move against it

01:01:15.240 and be brave

01:01:17.540 in those moments

01:01:18.380 and fail

01:01:19.880 and still

01:01:20.860 keep at it

01:01:22.180 and all my

01:01:23.820 mentors and farmers,

01:01:25.280 mentors and friends

01:01:26.360 are farmers

01:01:27.280 and I just,

01:01:28.880 you know,

01:01:29.060 sent a bunch of texts

01:01:29.940 this morning

01:01:30.180 like,

01:01:30.400 hey,

01:01:30.460 there's a storm coming,

01:01:31.420 you know,

01:01:31.620 should we prepare?

01:01:32.780 Like,

01:01:32.940 you know,

01:01:33.240 what should we do?

01:01:33.980 And just getting a lot of advice

01:01:35.360 and by the way,

01:01:36.020 these farmers are

01:01:37.060 dying,

01:01:38.160 they're desperate

01:01:38.780 for young people

01:01:40.300 to care about

01:01:41.640 what they're doing.

01:01:42.420 They're looking for someone

01:01:44.160 to pass down

01:01:45.060 their knowledge

01:01:46.340 and their wisdom.

01:01:47.360 There's just not a lot of people

01:01:48.420 who are wanting to do that.

01:01:50.960 Everyone wants to move

01:01:51.660 to the cities

01:01:52.140 and be fancy

01:01:52.820 or something.

01:01:54.160 So it just feels good.

01:01:55.360 The father I never had

01:01:56.420 are in all the

01:01:57.560 older men

01:01:58.660 that are now

01:01:59.820 my mentors,

01:02:01.120 the homesteaders

01:02:01.940 and farmers.

01:02:03.680 So what do I do now?

01:02:05.040 I work the land

01:02:06.640 and build

01:02:07.460 this community

01:02:08.540 and...

01:02:09.420 So what does a typical day

01:02:10.420 look like?

01:02:10.940 Well,

01:02:12.860 you wake up.

01:02:13.540 I usually take Seiko

01:02:14.720 in the morning,

01:02:15.400 my son.

01:02:16.480 We go out on the land,

01:02:17.860 he and I.

01:02:19.620 Let out the ducks,

01:02:20.700 take the dogs

01:02:21.600 and, you know,

01:02:23.040 take them for a walk.

01:02:25.480 And he and I

01:02:26.240 spend some time together

01:02:27.200 until my wife wakes up 1.00

01:02:29.160 and then

01:02:29.600 she takes over 0.98

01:02:30.860 and then

01:02:31.360 I work with

01:02:32.500 Ben

01:02:33.540 who works on the land

01:02:34.540 and we have

01:02:35.600 we have our little

01:02:37.160 laboratory,

01:02:38.060 what I call it,

01:02:38.700 sort of

01:02:39.960 our place

01:02:41.160 to experiment.

01:02:42.220 We have

01:02:42.480 a food forest

01:02:44.280 and grapes.

01:02:45.160 We're making some wine

01:02:46.040 and

01:02:46.380 annual garden food.

01:02:50.220 Some animals,

01:02:51.440 feed the animals.

01:02:53.060 And then also

01:02:54.060 I get to

01:02:55.040 still be creative

01:02:56.840 because I get to

01:02:58.660 tell the story.

01:02:59.400 So I have a channel

01:03:00.520 called Earthspeed

01:03:01.380 and so we're

01:03:02.900 telling stories

01:03:03.920 from the land.

01:03:06.200 And

01:03:06.220 Is that a YouTube channel?

01:03:08.520 How does that work?

01:03:09.220 YouTube, Instagram, yeah.

01:03:10.280 Yeah, okay.

01:03:10.940 But continuing to tell stories

01:03:12.820 as a filmmaker.

01:03:13.900 I'm making a documentary

01:03:14.760 right now.

01:03:16.880 So I get to both

01:03:18.200 be present,

01:03:19.320 be with my family.

01:03:22.580 I get to continue

01:03:23.880 my work

01:03:24.700 grounding myself

01:03:26.580 into

01:03:27.160 hard skills,

01:03:29.620 primitive skills

01:03:30.400 of survival

01:03:31.160 and

01:03:31.520 protection.

01:03:33.820 And

01:03:34.300 forget the

01:03:35.660 philosophy

01:03:36.200 where I think

01:03:36.840 that we should

01:03:37.240 all be a little bit

01:03:38.000 closer to nature

01:03:38.880 and closer to each

01:03:39.820 other in community.

01:03:42.460 It's just

01:03:43.320 I get to build that

01:03:45.040 and build that

01:03:46.060 model

01:03:46.440 that maybe

01:03:47.740 will serve

01:03:49.420 my local community

01:03:50.740 and might be

01:03:51.340 a model for

01:03:52.740 others to replicate

01:03:53.660 someday.

01:03:55.420 So

01:03:55.940 where is your land?

01:03:58.140 Just outside of Austin.

01:03:59.380 How far?

01:03:59.980 30 minutes.

01:04:01.160 And is it

01:04:02.500 near a town?

01:04:03.900 Is it truly rural?

01:04:05.380 I don't tell people

01:04:06.260 where it is.

01:04:06.800 Oh yeah, okay.

01:04:07.180 We have had

01:04:07.640 I'm still famous.

01:04:08.940 We have had some

01:04:09.860 stalkers.

01:04:10.560 Yeah.

01:04:10.700 But it's

01:04:12.260 cute little

01:04:13.220 there's a lot

01:04:14.080 of really

01:04:14.360 cute

01:04:14.860 historic

01:04:15.860 towns

01:04:16.600 in Texas.

01:04:17.900 So we have

01:04:18.600 a historic town

01:04:19.540 which is a

01:04:20.920 30 minute float

01:04:22.040 down

01:04:22.420 Colorado River.

01:04:24.720 And

01:04:25.040 we have springs

01:04:27.580 and we get to

01:04:28.260 sewer it

01:04:28.560 because there's a lot

01:04:29.360 of development

01:04:30.320 out there.

01:04:30.860 So there's a lot

01:04:31.360 of tract homes,

01:04:32.940 HOAs coming in 1.00

01:04:33.840 and just clear cutting

01:04:34.720 everything

01:04:35.080 and then putting

01:04:35.720 all these

01:04:36.720 generic houses.

01:04:37.940 So we get to

01:04:38.600 actually preserve

01:04:40.100 and

01:04:41.140 steward that land

01:04:43.600 as it's meant

01:04:44.560 to be,

01:04:45.000 you know,

01:04:45.380 as natural.

01:04:47.740 And so

01:04:48.160 how long have you

01:04:48.980 had this piece

01:04:49.480 of land?

01:04:50.000 Three years.

01:04:50.960 Uh-huh.

01:04:51.580 So that's starting

01:04:52.740 to be a reasonable

01:04:53.420 length of time.

01:04:54.440 How does your wife 0.99

01:04:56.060 feel about all this?

01:04:57.340 Is she happy

01:04:58.000 with you?

01:04:58.500 Yes,

01:04:59.020 she is.

01:04:59.520 She is.

01:05:00.000 She is.

01:05:00.480 Yeah,

01:05:00.720 finally.

01:05:01.360 She's,

01:05:02.520 you know,

01:05:03.040 and she,

01:05:03.600 and I get to now

01:05:04.600 sit with her

01:05:05.820 as she

01:05:06.720 heals

01:05:10.300 the deeper layers

01:05:11.860 of herself,

01:05:13.640 you know,

01:05:13.960 because these

01:05:14.880 women in our 0.82

01:05:15.960 culture,

01:05:16.500 they're on guard,

01:05:18.680 you know,

01:05:19.020 and there's

01:05:20.480 not a lot of

01:05:21.080 valiant men

01:05:21.800 holding space

01:05:23.160 for them to be

01:05:23.860 able to do the

01:05:24.400 healing that they

01:05:24.920 need to do.

01:05:26.360 And that's my

01:05:26.800 biggest honor

01:05:27.380 is that I get to

01:05:28.100 hold space for her

01:05:30.040 to be the best mom

01:05:30.880 she can be

01:05:31.520 for my son.

01:05:34.000 More kids on the

01:05:34.980 horizon?

01:05:35.500 Oh, yeah.

01:05:36.300 Yeah.

01:05:37.020 Oh, yeah.

01:05:37.260 Right, so that's a

01:05:37.920 plan,

01:05:38.580 and that's a real

01:05:39.320 possibility?

01:05:40.080 Yeah.

01:05:40.420 Well, congratulations.

01:05:41.480 Thank you.

01:05:41.880 That's a good deal.

01:05:42.920 Yeah, thanks.

01:05:44.280 Yeah.

01:05:45.620 Well, look,

01:05:46.780 that's an hour.

01:05:48.820 That's a good place

01:05:49.640 to end.

01:05:51.360 For everybody

01:05:52.060 watching and listening,

01:05:53.700 I'm going to

01:05:54.140 continue this

01:05:54.720 conversation

01:05:55.340 with Adrian

01:05:56.980 on the

01:05:57.780 Daily Wire

01:05:58.200 side for

01:05:59.080 another half

01:05:59.520 an hour.

01:06:00.520 I think I'll

01:06:01.200 talk to him

01:06:01.720 more about

01:06:02.300 what he's

01:06:03.240 doing with

01:06:03.740 the land

01:06:04.120 and why

01:06:05.560 that's useful,

01:06:07.100 why that's

01:06:07.760 different from

01:06:08.440 what he did

01:06:09.100 on the

01:06:09.400 environmentalist

01:06:10.100 side,

01:06:11.340 why he

01:06:12.800 finds it

01:06:13.280 preferable to

01:06:13.940 his old

01:06:14.320 life.

01:06:15.400 So if you're

01:06:16.480 inclined to

01:06:17.320 accompany this

01:06:18.220 on that

01:06:18.940 journey,

01:06:20.760 then jump

01:06:22.580 on over to

01:06:23.020 the Daily Wire

01:06:23.500 side of

01:06:23.980 things.

01:06:24.400 It's, I

01:06:25.320 suppose,

01:06:25.720 useful to

01:06:26.400 throw them

01:06:28.080 the bone 0.99

01:06:28.500 of your

01:06:28.800 support in

01:06:29.380 any case

01:06:29.820 because they

01:06:30.420 make these

01:06:30.980 podcasts

01:06:31.960 possible and

01:06:32.740 they're pretty

01:06:34.580 decent fighters

01:06:35.280 on the side

01:06:35.860 of free

01:06:36.200 speech.

01:06:37.120 So that's

01:06:38.360 my pitch for

01:06:38.880 the Daily Wire

01:06:39.400 for today.

01:06:40.140 Thank you

01:06:40.700 very much to

01:06:41.280 the film crew

01:06:41.800 here in

01:06:43.660 Austin because

01:06:44.640 that's where

01:06:45.000 we are today.

01:06:46.140 Thank you

01:06:46.480 very much,

01:06:46.920 sir.

01:06:47.460 That was a

01:06:48.180 lot to

01:06:49.360 walk through.

01:06:50.160 Much appreciated.

01:06:51.360 And so

01:06:51.680 everybody,

01:06:53.780 join us on

01:06:54.400 the Daily Wire

01:06:55.340 side.

01:06:56.780 Yep.

01:06:57.480 Otherwise,

01:06:58.120 we'll see you

01:06:58.540 soon.

The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast - May 02, 2024

445. An Honest Conversation About Hollywood ｜ Adrian Grenier

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