The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast - 565. Unlocking the Hidden Power Of Body Language ｜ Vanessa Van Edwards

00:00:00.040 Why don't you study for people like you study for chemistry?

00:00:03.640 Why don't you study conversation and body language just like you study for subjects?

00:00:07.800 Vanessa Van Edwards is a behavioral researcher, a best-selling author,

00:00:11.840 an instructor at Harvard University, and a self-described recovering awkward person.

00:00:16.800 I know I'm a recovering awkward person. I am the person that I try to help.

00:00:20.660 Soft skills can be learned, even if they don't come naturally to you.

00:00:23.420 The amount of a pause, how long should a pause be, how many pumps in a handshake.

00:00:27.400 You're an expert in nonverbal communication, so size me up.

00:00:45.940 Vanessa Van Edwards is a behavioral researcher, a best-selling author,

00:00:50.940 an instructor at Harvard University, and a self-described recovering awkward person.

00:00:56.340 She's the author of Cues, Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication.

00:01:02.580 And her YouTube videos on body language and social skills have received more than 70 million views.

00:01:08.940 We spoke to her today about decoding body language,

00:01:12.520 overcoming awkwardness, and putting your best foot forward.

00:01:15.460 So, Vanessa, tell me about my posture and seating in this to begin.

00:01:24.300 You're an expert in nonverbal communication, so size me up.

00:01:28.700 Well, first of all, I love that we're angled towards each other.

00:01:31.640 I have a little bit of a pet peeve when people are angled half away.

00:01:35.040 You know, have you ever seen that where they have the setup where they're angled away?

00:01:37.780 The brain loves when we're on parallel lines, so I love that, even through a camera.

00:01:42.280 Also, a distance that most people don't think about is the distance between our ears and our shoulders.

00:01:48.520 It's my favorite distance.

00:01:49.740 The reason for that is because when we're anxious, when we're afraid,

00:01:52.960 we tend to take up as little space as possible.

00:01:55.320 You'll see people will turtle, where they sink their head down,

00:01:58.380 and they tend to creep their shoulder—exactly.

00:02:00.660 They tend to creep their shoulders up.

00:02:01.920 It's a cue that we don't think about.

00:02:03.260 In fact, we often do it in first impressions.

00:02:05.160 We say, hey, nice to see you.

00:02:07.620 Right, right.

00:02:09.000 Compressed like that, eh?

00:02:10.640 Yeah, you see people standing up sometimes when they do that.

00:02:13.780 They'll go, hi.

00:02:14.860 And they use that uplift?

00:02:17.240 Is that what it's called?

00:02:18.220 Up talk.

00:02:18.480 Up talk?

00:02:19.160 Yeah, so there's—

00:02:19.980 Yeah, up talk.

00:02:20.800 There's this trifecta of, I would say, awkwardness that can happen in a first impression,

00:02:25.340 and they all are related to each other.

00:02:27.160 First, we're a little nervous in that first impression,

00:02:29.760 and so we take up as little space as possible.

00:02:31.780 We turtle down.

00:02:32.420 We shrink up.

00:02:33.020 That immediately shortens my vocal power, right?

00:02:36.120 I—it has less oxygen.

00:02:38.480 I have more tension in my neck.

00:02:39.820 I also tend to clench my jaw, which then creates a little bit less volume,

00:02:44.400 which then makes me sound nervous.

00:02:46.160 And then I use, as you said, up talk.

00:02:48.120 So, good morning.

00:02:49.960 I'm so happy to be here.

00:02:51.780 And what the brain does when it hears the—an accidental question inflection,

00:02:56.200 it's called a question inflection.

00:02:57.200 So, my name is Vanessa.

00:02:59.380 I'm here to talk about body language.

00:03:01.120 When you hear me accidentally use a question inflection,

00:03:05.340 your brain goes from listening to scrutinizing.

00:03:09.320 The reason for this is because liars often accidentally use the question inflection

00:03:13.900 because they're asking, do you believe this?

00:03:16.800 So, if I say to my daughter, you know, did you take the cookie from the cookie jar?

00:03:20.780 And she goes, no.

00:03:24.180 Right, right.

00:03:24.980 That movement, it subconsciously, even if you're not lying,

00:03:28.480 it triggers the part of our brain that goes, uh-oh, something's off here.

00:03:32.140 And we don't like to hear people who are questioning themselves

00:03:34.640 because we don't want to feel that we're questioning.

00:03:36.860 And so, I think that that trifecta, in that first impression, you do it—you did it beautifully.

00:03:41.680 Maximizing this distance, that's the most important one.

00:03:43.740 Second, I can see space between your torso and your arm right now.

00:03:47.740 And that is a very subtle signal of you're comfortable enough

00:03:51.860 that you're not trying to block or protect your torso.

00:03:54.740 Anytime we're tight to the side, or tight exactly—we're tight to the side,

00:03:59.000 that signals, I feel a little bit of discomfort.

00:04:01.900 I want to protect my vital organs, even if we're just cold.

00:04:05.380 And so, what I say to people is, you could be doing this because you're actually nervous,

00:04:10.180 but you could be doing it at a bad habit,

00:04:11.880 and a lot of our nonverbal pet peeves are bad habits,

00:04:14.500 or because you're cold, or because you're allergic.

00:04:16.880 It doesn't matter your reason.

00:04:18.860 All that matters is the people who are watching you,

00:04:21.280 they're making a very quick impression of you.

00:04:23.120 And it often happens, I'm sad to say, in less than a second.

00:04:26.980 I'm quickly seeing, are we aligned?

00:04:29.800 Oh, he's taking space here.

00:04:31.200 I see space.

00:04:31.960 He's not protective.

00:04:33.080 Oh, and we see a lot of vocal flexibility in that very first word.

00:04:37.140 And our vocal first impression usually happens on hello.

00:04:41.120 So that uptalk, I see a lot of people doing that,

00:04:45.900 and it seems to me that that's a sign of appeal to authority.

00:04:52.760 That's a sign of deference.

00:04:54.640 It's a sign—it's also a way of signaling harmlessness,

00:04:59.120 because children use uptalk a lot.

00:05:03.720 But what it indicates to me when I see someone doing that is

00:05:07.340 it's either a prolongation of immaturity,

00:05:11.220 or it can be manipulative, right,

00:05:14.720 to mask yourself in a way that—

00:05:17.780 so you appear much more harmless than you actually are.

00:05:22.120 It's, I suppose,

00:05:23.980 it's a way of also forestalling aggression,

00:05:30.740 because if you signal that you're immature,

00:05:34.720 then what you're doing is you're asking for support from other people.

00:05:39.420 Yeah, no, I think that's right.

00:05:40.440 I see any kind of negative nonverbal cue,

00:05:44.160 and cues are all contextual.

00:05:45.660 Let's use uptalk as an example.

00:05:47.420 There's actually two factors.

00:05:49.300 There's external and internal.

00:05:51.220 External is exactly what you just mentioned.

00:05:53.180 Maybe you're trying to show deference.

00:05:54.800 Maybe you're trying to show submissiveness, right?

00:05:57.140 You'll often have people who they're asking permission

00:06:00.740 or they're trying to show,

00:06:01.820 I'm not a threat to you.

00:06:03.400 Those are external reasons.

00:06:04.800 You also might have external reasons

00:06:06.200 that someone makes you very anxious or nervous.

00:06:08.780 And so you're with a boss or you're in a negotiation.

00:06:11.620 I hear uptalk a lot in sales contexts

00:06:14.400 where someone asks their price.

00:06:17.520 So they're on the phone and they say,

00:06:19.040 you know, we'd love to work with you,

00:06:20.700 and the price of this service is $5,000.

00:06:22.840 And what they did there is they are internally thinking,

00:06:29.140 I'm not sure about this number, and neither should you.

00:06:32.360 Or are you going to say yes to this number?

00:06:34.180 I'm worried you won't.

00:06:36.260 And so that gives away your vocal competence

00:06:40.400 because you're saying to this person,

00:06:41.860 there is room to negotiate here.

00:06:43.640 Or we ask a boundary

00:06:44.880 because we're nervous about the external source.

00:06:47.200 The internal reasons though,

00:06:48.500 and this is, I think, where it gets more interesting,

00:06:50.740 is if you don't feel worthy,

00:06:53.320 if you have self-doubt,

00:06:55.020 if you feel like you don't belong

00:06:57.240 or you have imposter syndrome,

00:06:58.540 which so many people do,

00:06:59.880 you use uptalk regardless of the outside.

00:07:03.120 And so you go into a presentation

00:07:04.500 or a meeting or a date or an interview,

00:07:06.300 and you ask your name,

00:07:08.200 you ask your value,

00:07:09.440 you ask your salary,

00:07:10.700 you ask your answer,

00:07:11.840 and people go,

00:07:12.520 ugh, I can't trust this person.

00:07:15.260 But it actually has,

00:07:16.120 it's not being deceptive.

00:07:18.240 They're literally just so anxious.

00:07:19.760 They cannot deliver with vocal confidence.

00:07:22.160 Do you think that assessing the situation that way,

00:07:26.680 so people are going to make their assessments

00:07:28.880 based on those nonverbal cues,

00:07:31.700 hypothetically,

00:07:32.820 the assessments evolved

00:07:35.480 and have functioned

00:07:36.580 just like the behavioral demonstrations.

00:07:39.000 And so,

00:07:41.200 one of the things that I was considering

00:07:44.220 when I was reading,

00:07:45.120 I was reading cues,

00:07:46.580 master the secret language

00:07:47.740 of charismatic communication.

00:07:51.600 I was curious,

00:07:53.160 you lay things out very explicitly,

00:07:56.020 and it's hard for people

00:07:58.000 to learn to change their behavior

00:07:59.620 as a consequence

00:08:00.960 of mere explicit instruction too.

00:08:04.060 But why would we presume

00:08:06.380 that there's actually a gap

00:08:07.960 that needs to be closed

00:08:10.260 between how someone

00:08:12.420 is presenting themselves

00:08:13.760 and the inference?

00:08:14.640 Like,

00:08:15.180 why shouldn't I just assume

00:08:16.560 that if someone is

00:08:17.700 adopting a prey position,

00:08:21.180 P-R-E-Y, 1.00

00:08:22.240 prey,

00:08:22.860 and they're

00:08:24.140 indicating anxiety

00:08:26.880 and they're

00:08:28.020 using uptalk,

00:08:29.560 why shouldn't I indicate,

00:08:31.160 why shouldn't I conclude

00:08:32.280 that

00:08:34.160 what that nonverbal behavior

00:08:36.140 is telling me

00:08:36.940 is actually

00:08:37.540 correct?

00:08:38.920 Now,

00:08:39.460 you talked a little bit

00:08:40.500 about

00:08:40.960 bad habits

00:08:44.520 and

00:08:45.600 maybe that's part

00:08:47.100 of the answer.

00:08:49.280 Yes,

00:08:49.880 this is such a great question.

00:08:51.180 Bad habits is one,

00:08:52.100 but I actually have a bigger one

00:08:53.160 and this is,

00:08:53.860 I think,

00:08:54.240 the reason why

00:08:54.780 I wrote this book.

00:08:56.200 Most people

00:08:57.060 have very,

00:08:58.080 very good ideas.

00:08:59.280 They're very well prepared.

00:09:00.420 They have a lot of competence

00:09:01.420 or book smarts

00:09:02.320 and they have no idea

00:09:03.520 how to share that.

00:09:04.880 So,

00:09:05.520 their competence

00:09:06.140 is there.

00:09:07.140 Their ideas

00:09:07.700 are very good.

00:09:08.400 But when they get

00:09:09.240 in the room,

00:09:09.900 they have social anxiety.

00:09:11.320 They have awkwardness.

00:09:12.420 They're not sure

00:09:13.020 how to read cues.

00:09:14.460 And so,

00:09:15.020 the prey behavior,

00:09:16.800 the uptalk,

00:09:17.980 the bad nonverbal habits

00:09:20.120 come into play

00:09:21.040 because they are anxious

00:09:21.940 about their presence

00:09:23.020 but not their ideas.

00:09:24.860 So,

00:09:25.320 what makes me angry

00:09:28.600 is when you have someone

00:09:30.200 who has a brilliant idea,

00:09:31.500 a great presentation,

00:09:32.300 they'd be a great hire

00:09:33.100 in an interview,

00:09:33.980 but they show up

00:09:34.780 and they have no idea

00:09:35.480 how to answer the questions.

00:09:36.940 Even though

00:09:37.500 their competence

00:09:38.060 is there,

00:09:38.920 they're so nervous

00:09:39.740 about their presence

00:09:40.500 they can't show it.

00:09:42.080 Okay,

00:09:42.480 so your primary target,

00:09:44.940 let's say,

00:09:45.480 is people who

00:09:47.140 subvert themselves

00:09:49.140 unconsciously

00:09:50.840 and portray themselves

00:09:54.060 as less competent

00:09:55.040 than they actually are.

00:09:56.740 And so,

00:09:57.320 that would be likely

00:09:58.180 associated with

00:09:59.360 high trait neuroticism.

00:10:02.560 My favorite personality trait.

00:10:03.980 If you look at what

00:10:07.060 predicts success,

00:10:08.200 if this is something else

00:10:09.000 I wanted to talk to you about,

00:10:11.140 you talked about warmth

00:10:12.520 and competence.

00:10:15.380 And the best marker

00:10:17.440 on the personality side

00:10:18.900 for competence

00:10:19.560 is conscientiousness.

00:10:22.080 But warmth is more ambiguous,

00:10:24.580 I would say,

00:10:25.300 and so we should delve

00:10:26.180 into that

00:10:26.660 because the literature

00:10:29.140 that I read

00:10:29.840 on management styles

00:10:31.380 suggested that,

00:10:32.640 or management personality

00:10:34.320 suggested generally

00:10:36.240 that less agreeable

00:10:38.120 managers

00:10:39.340 are more effective.

00:10:40.880 Now,

00:10:41.540 it's a hard thing

00:10:42.620 to parse apart,

00:10:43.580 eh?

00:10:44.600 Because that

00:10:45.720 immature

00:10:47.280 self-presentation

00:10:48.980 you described,

00:10:49.980 that could be

00:10:51.240 a consequence

00:10:51.760 of neuroticism,

00:10:53.960 but it could also

00:10:54.640 be a consequence

00:10:55.340 of agreeableness

00:10:57.180 that's too high.

00:10:59.220 Right?

00:10:59.500 And so,

00:11:00.260 if you're agreeable,

00:11:01.780 you don't want to come across

00:11:02.800 as a threat.

00:11:04.400 And so,

00:11:05.280 you can revert

00:11:06.120 to behaviors

00:11:07.700 that indicate

00:11:08.380 that you're harmless.

00:11:10.100 Okay?

00:11:10.840 And so,

00:11:12.760 all right,

00:11:13.160 so we're going to talk

00:11:13.940 about people

00:11:14.460 who are

00:11:15.240 undermining

00:11:16.900 their own ability

00:11:18.040 to progress forward

00:11:19.000 because they're,

00:11:20.800 they lack,

00:11:22.340 what do they lack?

00:11:23.380 They lack social skill?

00:11:25.540 It's a...

00:11:26.080 they're just unconscious

00:11:27.080 of the way

00:11:27.620 they're presenting themselves?

00:11:28.980 It's a,

00:11:29.440 it's a bad combination

00:11:30.760 of,

00:11:31.560 you know,

00:11:31.780 I call them

00:11:32.380 high-achieving,

00:11:33.120 awkward folks,

00:11:34.040 right?

00:11:34.320 Like,

00:11:34.620 they really want

00:11:35.200 to do well.

00:11:35.760 Very smart.

00:11:36.840 So,

00:11:37.060 it's,

00:11:37.700 yes,

00:11:38.200 it can be

00:11:38.760 a lack of social skill.

00:11:40.440 It also could be

00:11:41.360 an overemphasis

00:11:42.780 on IQ over PQ

00:11:44.380 where they're,

00:11:46.360 they were so focused

00:11:47.140 for so long

00:11:47.780 on developing

00:11:48.500 test scores

00:11:49.380 and book smarts

00:11:50.240 and studying

00:11:50.760 and they focus

00:11:51.300 a lot on the data.

00:11:52.160 I work with a lot

00:11:52.780 of engineers,

00:11:53.460 very highly technical folks

00:11:54.840 and they're very,

00:11:56.380 very hyper-focused

00:11:56.980 on their numbers

00:11:57.640 but they get in the room

00:11:59.060 and they have no idea

00:12:00.240 how to make eye contact.

00:12:01.500 They have no idea.

00:12:02.160 So,

00:12:02.300 that's a lack of knowledge

00:12:03.500 where as long as,

00:12:04.900 if they're told,

00:12:05.820 hey,

00:12:06.640 here are the cues

00:12:07.520 for warmth and competence.

00:12:08.560 I only want you

00:12:09.500 to try cues on

00:12:10.220 that actually work for you.

00:12:12.000 There's 97 different cues

00:12:13.480 I've sort of identified

00:12:14.420 and there's some

00:12:15.500 that work for people

00:12:16.220 and there's some that don't.

00:12:17.960 Okay,

00:12:18.220 you try on a couple

00:12:18.820 of cues that work for you.

00:12:19.680 Here's the recipe

00:12:20.500 of warmth and competence.

00:12:21.940 If you add those cues,

00:12:23.520 people are more likely

00:12:24.660 to believe your data

00:12:25.820 and this comes directly

00:12:27.000 from the research.

00:12:27.740 So,

00:12:27.900 Dr. Susan Fisk

00:12:28.640 is sort of the pioneer

00:12:29.720 in,

00:12:30.380 it's called stereotype

00:12:31.060 content model,

00:12:31.960 right,

00:12:32.140 the warmth and competence model

00:12:33.300 and this,

00:12:34.900 she said

00:12:35.440 that competence

00:12:36.760 without warmth

00:12:37.900 is likely to leave

00:12:39.280 us feeling suspicious

00:12:40.460 and suspicious,

00:12:43.280 that is the killer

00:12:44.580 because what happens is

00:12:45.820 someone gets in the room,

00:12:47.300 they're over,

00:12:48.000 hyper-focused

00:12:48.580 on the numbers

00:12:49.240 and the idea

00:12:50.040 which is great

00:12:50.960 but they get in the room

00:12:52.040 and they think

00:12:52.340 my ideas will speak

00:12:53.380 for themselves.

00:12:54.540 I don't need to add warmth

00:12:55.780 and then they don't even know

00:12:57.220 what warmth would be.

00:12:59.000 So,

00:12:59.440 even when they get in the room

00:13:00.200 and they can feel,

00:13:01.740 uh-oh,

00:13:02.340 people are suspicious of me,

00:13:04.000 they're asking me

00:13:04.700 really hard questions,

00:13:05.800 they're not making eye contact,

00:13:07.340 they're not believing my slides,

00:13:09.360 then they're like,

00:13:09.960 what do I do,

00:13:10.380 what do I do?

00:13:10.940 And so,

00:13:11.240 then it creates this horrible

00:13:12.340 cycle of awkwardness

00:13:13.180 where it gets even worse.

00:13:14.480 Right,

00:13:15.040 right.

00:13:15.360 So,

00:13:15.900 people will note

00:13:16.800 from the nonverbal behavior

00:13:18.180 of the audience members

00:13:19.220 that they're not being attended to

00:13:20.820 right,

00:13:21.680 so they lose the audience.

00:13:23.120 So,

00:13:23.760 let me tell you

00:13:24.760 some things that I do

00:13:25.760 when I'm lecturing

00:13:26.580 and you can comment on them

00:13:28.380 if you would.

00:13:30.040 So,

00:13:30.720 I never use notes.

00:13:34.120 You know how HIPAA

00:13:35.260 protects your medical information?

00:13:37.020 Doctors can't share anything

00:13:38.140 without your consent,

00:13:39.140 whether it's diabetes,

00:13:40.220 surgery,

00:13:40.780 whatever.

00:13:41.260 That's federal law.

00:13:42.300 But here's the problem.

00:13:43.420 Every time you search online

00:13:44.580 for medical information,

00:13:45.900 data brokers are tracking it

00:13:47.100 and building a profile on you.

00:13:48.460 Then they sell that profile

00:13:49.660 to whoever pays

00:13:50.500 and just like that,

00:13:51.440 your HIPAA protection

00:13:52.160 is worthless.

00:13:53.300 And insurance companies,

00:13:54.340 they buy these profiles

00:13:55.240 and then use them

00:13:56.040 to raise your premiums.

00:13:57.200 And there's no law

00:13:57.840 stopping this.

00:13:58.720 Until one gets passed,

00:13:59.680 there's really only one way

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00:14:47.240 So,

00:14:47.920 my sense of that

00:14:50.360 is that

00:14:50.820 if you have to use notes,

00:14:53.500 then you actually

00:14:55.200 don't know

00:14:55.560 what you're talking about.

00:14:57.100 And then

00:14:57.860 someone might say,

00:15:00.100 well,

00:15:00.200 I have to discuss

00:15:00.940 some very complicated material

00:15:02.460 that I'm not,

00:15:04.840 I haven't fully mastered

00:15:05.940 and so

00:15:06.480 I need the details

00:15:08.120 of the notes

00:15:08.920 and my response

00:15:10.200 to that usually is

00:15:11.240 pitch at the level

00:15:12.680 that you're able to.

00:15:14.760 Right?

00:15:16.240 And

00:15:16.540 so then

00:15:17.780 I also try to remember

00:15:19.720 before I go on stage

00:15:20.880 that I'm happy to be there

00:15:22.140 and that I'm

00:15:23.880 pleased that the audience

00:15:25.380 is there

00:15:25.940 so

00:15:26.220 I'm making a

00:15:27.620 real effort

00:15:28.260 not to regard them

00:15:29.320 as adversaries

00:15:30.160 or

00:15:30.500 judgmental adversaries

00:15:32.340 because I believe

00:15:33.500 that people can tell

00:15:34.620 if that's your assumption

00:15:36.260 pretty much the moment

00:15:37.640 that you walk on stage

00:15:39.000 your

00:15:39.760 nonverbal cues

00:15:41.000 indicate

00:15:41.560 fear of the

00:15:43.420 audience

00:15:44.160 and then

00:15:44.680 the audience

00:15:46.660 is wondering

00:15:47.900 what the hell

00:15:48.400 you're doing there

00:15:49.120 if you're afraid of them

00:15:50.240 and

00:15:51.240 then I also

00:15:53.080 make eye contact

00:15:53.960 with people

00:15:54.660 continually

00:15:55.280 when I'm speaking

00:15:56.700 so I'm never

00:15:57.360 or seldomly

00:15:58.960 speaking to the crowd

00:16:00.420 it's one person

00:16:01.760 at a time

00:16:02.360 with eye contact

00:16:03.580 and

00:16:04.000 the advantage

00:16:04.980 to that

00:16:05.440 is that you can

00:16:06.260 tell

00:16:07.200 by watching

00:16:08.600 the person

00:16:09.220 that you're making

00:16:10.020 eye contact

00:16:10.520 with

00:16:11.020 whether they're

00:16:12.600 receiving the message

00:16:14.900 there's also

00:16:16.360 a chemical component

00:16:17.680 there that's going

00:16:18.300 to help

00:16:18.760 any presenter

00:16:19.800 which is

00:16:20.520 you know

00:16:21.060 we talk about

00:16:21.460 warmth

00:16:21.820 what does warmth

00:16:22.640 mean

00:16:22.980 it's one of the

00:16:23.520 harder ones

00:16:24.000 I agree

00:16:24.320 competence

00:16:24.800 tied to

00:16:25.160 conscientiousness

00:16:25.980 yes

00:16:26.400 warmth is hard

00:16:27.520 because it's tied

00:16:28.240 to

00:16:28.760 chemically speaking

00:16:29.820 oxytocin

00:16:30.540 now we know

00:16:31.140 oxytocin is very

00:16:32.020 complicated

00:16:32.520 it does a lot

00:16:32.980 of things

00:16:33.220 in our bodies

00:16:33.780 but the way

00:16:34.620 that we produce

00:16:35.260 it socially

00:16:35.960 is two major ways

00:16:38.180 touch

00:16:39.060 so handshake

00:16:40.180 high five

00:16:40.620 fist bump

00:16:41.100 or eye contact

00:16:42.280 in fact

00:16:42.980 research even shows

00:16:43.780 that you and I

00:16:44.360 can make oxytocin

00:16:45.300 even through a webcam

00:16:46.280 as long as I can

00:16:47.000 see your face

00:16:47.500 and you can see mine

00:16:48.180 so

00:16:49.080 when you get on stage

00:16:50.280 and you're trying

00:16:50.720 to very quickly

00:16:51.380 build trust

00:16:52.100 your competence

00:16:52.660 is there

00:16:53.000 you're going to

00:16:53.360 speak without notes

00:16:54.240 great

00:16:54.680 the way that you

00:16:56.040 physically

00:16:56.940 physiologically

00:16:57.780 produce warmth

00:16:59.160 is by trying

00:17:00.200 to make eye contact

00:17:01.060 with individual people

00:17:01.980 in the audience

00:17:02.520 and I will add

00:17:03.320 a little tip

00:17:04.020 on top of yours

00:17:05.100 because I agree

00:17:05.560 with you

00:17:05.900 I make eye contact

00:17:07.520 with my notters

00:17:08.740 if someone's

00:17:10.200 in the audience

00:17:10.660 oh yes

00:17:11.020 that's a good one

00:17:11.800 yeah

00:17:11.980 I find

00:17:13.180 yeah yeah

00:17:13.540 you want to make

00:17:14.080 eye contact

00:17:14.600 with people

00:17:15.220 that are paying

00:17:15.720 attention

00:17:16.240 paying attention

00:17:17.380 and I know

00:17:19.040 I'm a recovering

00:17:19.780 awkward person

00:17:20.540 okay I am the person

00:17:21.800 that I try to help

00:17:22.620 which is a high

00:17:23.660 achieving awkward

00:17:24.300 person

00:17:24.680 if I'm on stage

00:17:26.220 and I sense

00:17:27.580 negative doubt

00:17:29.700 someone who's

00:17:30.500 not on my side

00:17:31.240 I can get in my

00:17:32.400 own head

00:17:32.760 and then all of a

00:17:33.300 sudden my non-verbals

00:17:34.220 are off

00:17:34.660 my confidence is off

00:17:35.700 but if I find

00:17:36.500 my notters

00:17:37.040 I know I'm

00:17:38.540 with people

00:17:39.020 they are with me

00:17:40.020 and so I make

00:17:40.940 eye contact with them

00:17:41.560 it's a gift to them

00:17:42.400 I'm gifting them

00:17:42.960 oxytocin

00:17:43.520 but more importantly

00:17:44.620 it's a gift to me

00:17:45.660 I get oxytocin

00:17:47.420 which makes me feel

00:17:48.440 connected

00:17:49.700 belonging

00:17:51.160 and calm

00:17:52.420 right

00:17:53.100 which I need

00:17:53.480 on stage

00:17:53.840 so eye contact

00:17:54.880 with individual people

00:17:55.720 and your notters

00:17:56.280 is extremely important

00:17:57.860 the second thing

00:17:59.260 that you mentioned

00:18:00.340 was

00:18:00.960 or one of the things

00:18:01.700 you mentioned

00:18:02.060 was not having notes

00:18:03.420 so I'm going to

00:18:04.420 add a nuance here

00:18:05.460 I very much agree

00:18:06.840 that your notes

00:18:07.920 are distracting

00:18:08.420 for the audience

00:18:09.100 right

00:18:09.600 if you're

00:18:09.960 shuffling around

00:18:10.920 flashcards

00:18:11.580 or you're trying

00:18:12.380 to look at notes

00:18:12.960 on your podium

00:18:13.440 the audience

00:18:14.680 is going to wonder

00:18:15.160 well why

00:18:15.580 where is their

00:18:16.180 competence

00:18:16.560 why don't they

00:18:17.360 know this so well

00:18:18.040 they can deliver it

00:18:18.740 to me

00:18:19.000 I would add though

00:18:20.580 it's really important

00:18:22.080 to reduce

00:18:22.860 your audience's

00:18:23.980 cognitive load

00:18:24.980 I think

00:18:27.040 just like you

00:18:27.680 I'm presenting

00:18:28.420 some very complex

00:18:29.360 topics

00:18:30.140 you know

00:18:30.560 I'm going very fast

00:18:31.480 on stage

00:18:32.020 I know

00:18:33.000 that if I'm

00:18:33.560 just delivering

00:18:34.160 to them

00:18:34.520 with one mode

00:18:35.420 verbal

00:18:36.020 they're having

00:18:37.480 to take that

00:18:38.140 all in

00:18:38.840 just by listening

00:18:39.720 so I will

00:18:41.120 sometimes have

00:18:41.880 notes for myself

00:18:43.120 but also really

00:18:43.940 for the audience

00:18:44.580 with visuals

00:18:45.300 or bullets

00:18:47.660 behind me

00:18:48.400 so my slides

00:18:49.800 are kind of

00:18:50.620 my notes

00:18:51.120 in terms of

00:18:51.580 how I want

00:18:51.920 to pace myself

00:18:52.680 but also

00:18:53.580 I'm lowering

00:18:54.380 listeners

00:18:55.420 cognitive load

00:18:56.340 by saying

00:18:56.960 hey

00:18:57.840 warmth and competence

00:18:59.100 is 82%

00:19:00.420 of your impressions

00:19:01.100 and then behind me

00:19:02.260 I have a giant slide

00:19:03.240 that says

00:19:03.660 82% of our impressions

00:19:05.300 are warmth and competence

00:19:06.180 that does two things

00:19:07.020 one

00:19:07.320 if heaven forbid

00:19:08.320 I forgot the number

00:19:09.620 because I got nervous

00:19:10.580 it would be behind me

00:19:11.500 but I know it

00:19:12.240 but more importantly

00:19:13.580 they see

00:19:15.000 that with a visual

00:19:16.260 of how much that is

00:19:17.440 in a pie chart

00:19:18.080 and it doubles up

00:19:19.720 the layer of understanding

00:19:20.900 the other thing

00:19:22.360 I'll note here

00:19:23.100 if we're talking about

00:19:23.600 cognitive load

00:19:24.200 is the importance

00:19:24.760 of hand gestures

00:19:25.500 I think as a presenter

00:19:26.980 and I don't know

00:19:27.680 how much you think

00:19:28.380 about this on stage

00:19:29.500 I think it's important

00:19:31.380 that we

00:19:31.940 Dr. Susan Goldwyn Meadow

00:19:33.760 is the researcher

00:19:34.380 behind this

00:19:34.920 that the more gestures

00:19:36.360 you add

00:19:36.960 especially if they're

00:19:37.800 explanatory gestures

00:19:38.960 the more information

00:19:40.480 is conveyed

00:19:41.020 so if I say to you

00:19:42.180 you know

00:19:42.580 Jordan

00:19:42.900 I have

00:19:43.580 five

00:19:44.420 I have three different ideas

00:19:45.900 and I hold up five

00:19:46.660 it's even hard

00:19:47.320 to misalign them

00:19:48.240 and I hold up

00:19:49.240 five but I say

00:19:50.480 I have three

00:19:51.060 your brain is like

00:19:52.500 no no no

00:19:52.880 Vanessa it's five

00:19:53.700 you're actually

00:19:54.200 more likely to believe

00:19:55.400 my gesture

00:19:55.960 over my words

00:19:56.820 or if I were to say

00:19:57.800 today I have

00:19:58.340 a really big idea

00:19:59.460 and I hold up

00:20:00.280 like I'm holding

00:20:00.740 a little penny

00:20:01.300 your brain kind of goes

00:20:02.880 no it's a small idea

00:20:03.980 it looks so small

00:20:04.820 so if you can

00:20:06.040 demonstrate concept

00:20:07.940 phase one

00:20:08.780 phase two

00:20:09.640 we have three

00:20:10.800 different things

00:20:11.320 that's like giving notes

00:20:12.940 to the audience

00:20:13.720 and so I think that

00:20:14.900 notes is an interesting

00:20:16.460 you can be

00:20:17.700 you can be playful

00:20:18.380 with it

00:20:18.840 with visual notes

00:20:20.100 but also even

00:20:20.780 gesture notes

00:20:21.620 so I tend

00:20:26.200 to gesture

00:20:26.740 a lot

00:20:27.240 when I'm

00:20:27.960 lecturing

00:20:28.500 and I get

00:20:29.520 parodied for that

00:20:30.480 which is fine

00:20:32.080 but I'm bringing

00:20:33.560 that up because

00:20:34.200 that indicates

00:20:36.300 that it's noticeable

00:20:37.260 now you said

00:20:38.340 that you're

00:20:38.900 a recovering

00:20:40.020 awkward person

00:20:41.180 but you gesture

00:20:42.720 quite a lot

00:20:43.500 and so

00:20:45.040 how much

00:20:46.000 of the persona

00:20:47.200 that you have

00:20:48.160 did you develop

00:20:49.920 like consciously

00:20:51.100 yes

00:20:52.460 I mean you come

00:20:52.920 across

00:20:53.260 let me see

00:20:53.780 you come across

00:20:54.480 your

00:20:54.760 how would I say

00:20:57.780 well your shoulders

00:20:58.500 are back

00:20:59.760 so

00:21:00.080 that's

00:21:01.220 that's relevant

00:21:02.120 to that

00:21:02.660 concept of fronting

00:21:04.180 that you described

00:21:05.120 so you're not

00:21:06.220 closed off

00:21:07.140 you're

00:21:09.320 you're very

00:21:10.780 attentive

00:21:11.200 in terms of eye

00:21:12.080 contact

00:21:12.400 and you

00:21:13.880 use a lot

00:21:15.500 of nonverbal

00:21:16.160 gestures

00:21:16.580 now

00:21:16.960 my suspicions

00:21:18.360 are that

00:21:19.520 that would be

00:21:20.100 rare among

00:21:20.680 someone

00:21:21.080 who's

00:21:22.160 awkward

00:21:23.840 and so

00:21:24.840 how

00:21:25.960 did you

00:21:27.220 would you say

00:21:28.220 that you

00:21:28.800 learn to let

00:21:30.120 yourself use

00:21:31.000 hand gestures

00:21:31.580 or did you learn

00:21:32.620 did you actually

00:21:33.540 practice

00:21:34.040 how much of

00:21:34.640 the way that

00:21:35.460 you're presenting

00:21:36.020 yourself

00:21:36.540 would you say

00:21:37.260 is a consequence

00:21:37.860 of conscious

00:21:39.120 practice

00:21:39.820 you know

00:21:40.980 awkwardness

00:21:41.500 shows up a lot

00:21:42.120 of different ways

00:21:42.820 and this is

00:21:43.340 one of my

00:21:43.740 favorite topics

00:21:44.560 the stereotype

00:21:46.140 about awkwardness

00:21:47.540 is still

00:21:48.820 less gesture

00:21:50.320 less attentiveness

00:21:51.520 lack of eye

00:21:52.300 contact

00:21:52.720 but that's

00:21:53.560 only one way

00:21:54.400 that awkwardness

00:21:55.120 or even social

00:21:56.000 fear shows up

00:21:56.820 there's also

00:21:57.820 awkwardness

00:21:58.460 in bigger

00:21:59.460 more gestures

00:22:00.860 over the top

00:22:02.320 gestures

00:22:02.740 and in fact

00:22:03.380 that's where

00:22:04.280 I skew 0.99

00:22:05.080 so I skew

00:22:07.300 quite high

00:22:08.040 on the

00:22:09.420 gestures

00:22:09.740 in fact

00:22:10.120 there's

00:22:10.740 in nonverbal

00:22:11.300 I like to say

00:22:11.820 there's always

00:22:12.480 too much

00:22:12.920 of a good

00:22:13.240 thing

00:22:13.520 so I love

00:22:14.960 a gesture

00:22:15.400 but if I had

00:22:16.500 hand gestures

00:22:17.040 for every single

00:22:17.840 word it would

00:22:18.300 be interpretive

00:22:18.860 dance

00:22:19.200 I love

00:22:20.700 nodding

00:22:21.160 but I actually

00:22:22.100 nod too much

00:22:22.960 I'm an over

00:22:23.800 nodder

00:22:24.160 so I skew

00:22:25.920 very high

00:22:26.660 on eye

00:22:27.580 contact

00:22:28.040 gestures

00:22:28.580 movement

00:22:29.120 nodding

00:22:29.540 so I've

00:22:30.420 had to just

00:22:30.960 just dial

00:22:32.020 down a little

00:22:33.200 bit

00:22:33.460 so it's

00:22:34.420 always when

00:22:34.820 people work

00:22:35.600 with me

00:22:35.840 I'm like

00:22:36.040 okay

00:22:36.280 we gotta

00:22:36.900 figure

00:22:37.060 where are

00:22:37.560 you

00:22:37.740 are you

00:22:38.080 on the

00:22:38.420 low end

00:22:38.800 where we

00:22:39.040 have to

00:22:39.320 dial up

00:22:39.960 to your

00:22:40.460 comfort level

00:22:41.020 but we have

00:22:41.400 to add a

00:22:41.700 little more

00:22:41.960 gesture

00:22:42.160 are you

00:22:42.460 too high

00:22:42.820 so I

00:22:43.320 when I

00:22:44.120 was for

00:22:44.480 example

00:22:44.740 let's take

00:22:45.100 nodding

00:22:45.460 nodding

00:22:46.120 in western

00:22:47.340 cultures

00:22:47.740 actually most

00:22:48.500 cultures except

00:22:49.200 Bulgaria

00:22:49.980 India

00:22:50.520 and Pakistan

00:22:51.120 this vertical

00:22:52.680 nod is a

00:22:53.420 yes

00:22:53.720 and a

00:22:54.120 horizontal

00:22:54.520 nod is a

00:22:55.300 no

00:22:55.460 so we

00:22:56.560 recognize

00:22:56.980 this in

00:22:57.760 those cultures

00:22:58.540 as being

00:22:59.140 affirmative

00:22:59.560 or agreeing

00:23:00.480 also if

00:23:01.120 the research

00:23:01.780 shows that

00:23:02.260 if I

00:23:02.880 triple nod

00:23:03.580 while you're

00:23:04.180 speaking

00:23:04.520 you're likely

00:23:05.480 to speak

00:23:05.900 67%

00:23:06.820 longer

00:23:07.300 so if

00:23:08.520 I want

00:23:08.800 you to

00:23:09.000 open up

00:23:09.440 and I

00:23:09.720 go

00:23:09.900 mm-hmm

00:23:10.420 mm-hmm

00:23:11.100 that tells

00:23:12.200 you

00:23:12.360 I'm here

00:23:12.820 tell me

00:23:13.200 more

00:23:13.460 but

00:23:14.360 if I'm

00:23:15.220 in

00:23:15.340 conversation

00:23:15.680 with you

00:23:16.120 and the

00:23:16.340 entire

00:23:16.600 time

00:23:16.980 I'm

00:23:17.300 uh-huh

00:23:17.880 uh-huh

00:23:18.800 uh-huh

00:23:19.580 it actually

00:23:20.580 takes away

00:23:21.540 my competence

00:23:22.200 it makes me

00:23:23.240 look like

00:23:23.720 I'm too

00:23:24.300 agreeable

00:23:24.740 or a

00:23:25.020 people pleaser

00:23:25.540 so I've

00:23:26.380 had to

00:23:26.700 replace

00:23:27.340 the nod

00:23:28.940 with a

00:23:29.360 head tilt

00:23:29.820 because it's

00:23:31.040 physically

00:23:31.340 impossible

00:23:31.760 to do

00:23:32.080 both

00:23:32.260 at once

00:23:32.720 so I

00:23:34.100 had some

00:23:34.560 awkward

00:23:35.040 moments

00:23:35.720 there

00:23:35.960 where I

00:23:36.220 was like

00:23:36.580 I have

00:23:37.240 to nod

00:23:37.640 less

00:23:38.120 even

00:23:38.840 especially

00:23:39.120 if I

00:23:39.320 don't

00:23:39.460 agree

00:23:39.700 with

00:23:39.900 someone

00:23:40.240 so what

00:23:40.840 was

00:23:40.920 happening

00:23:41.660 for me

00:23:42.100 on a

00:23:42.480 personal

00:23:42.780 note

00:23:43.020 is

00:23:43.280 I

00:23:43.940 was

00:23:44.120 over

00:23:44.400 nodding

00:23:44.720 I

00:23:45.200 was

00:23:45.320 over

00:23:45.560 gesturing

00:23:46.000 I

00:23:46.300 had

00:23:46.460 too

00:23:46.720 much

00:23:46.900 movement

00:23:47.240 and

00:23:47.500 it

00:23:47.580 was

00:23:47.720 distracting

00:23:48.320 and I

00:23:49.420 didn't

00:23:49.680 even

00:23:49.880 agree

00:23:50.300 with

00:23:50.640 folks

00:23:50.880 I

00:23:51.060 was

00:23:51.220 just

00:23:51.420 so

00:23:51.740 nervous

00:23:52.160 about

00:23:52.420 being

00:23:52.660 liked

00:23:53.100 I

00:23:53.300 so

00:23:53.700 wanted

00:23:54.520 to

00:23:54.680 be

00:23:54.840 liked

00:23:55.200 that

00:23:55.460 you

00:23:56.440 know

00:23:56.540 I

00:23:56.660 would

00:23:56.800 yes

00:23:57.300 Jordan

00:23:57.560 please

00:23:57.820 like

00:23:58.040 me

00:23:58.260 you

00:23:58.660 know

00:23:58.760 I

00:23:58.920 would

00:23:59.020 be

00:23:59.140 nodding

00:23:59.380 to

00:23:59.540 you

00:23:59.720 and I

00:24:00.440 realized

00:24:00.880 that was

00:24:01.240 not

00:24:01.520 serving

00:24:01.920 me

00:24:02.240 because

00:24:02.700 it

00:24:02.960 actually

00:24:03.480 made

00:24:03.760 me

00:24:03.920 look

00:24:04.240 too

00:24:05.240 trusting

00:24:06.500 too

00:24:06.900 open

00:24:07.260 and so

00:24:08.040 what

00:24:08.500 you

00:24:08.680 see

00:24:08.940 in front

00:24:09.280 of you

00:24:09.540 is

00:24:09.800 me

00:24:10.320 with

00:24:11.320 calmed

00:24:12.120 calmed

00:24:13.700 gestures

00:24:14.180 and calm

00:24:14.920 nodding

00:24:15.320 I also

00:24:16.000 try really

00:24:16.540 hard

00:24:16.840 to not

00:24:17.340 fake a

00:24:17.860 cue

00:24:18.100 because

00:24:18.500 I

00:24:18.660 think

00:24:18.840 that

00:24:18.960 you

00:24:19.060 can't

00:24:19.400 fake

00:24:19.600 it

00:24:19.800 I

00:24:20.060 think

00:24:20.220 that

00:24:20.360 people

00:24:20.580 pick

00:24:20.820 up

00:24:20.960 on

00:24:21.140 it

00:24:21.300 they

00:24:21.820 are

00:24:22.000 in

00:24:22.060 authentic

00:24:22.360 so

00:24:22.600 if

00:24:22.740 I

00:24:22.960 don't

00:24:23.280 actually

00:24:23.620 like

00:24:23.860 something

00:24:24.160 I

00:24:24.420 will

00:24:24.640 not

00:24:24.860 smile

00:24:25.280 as

00:24:26.180 recovering

00:24:29.720 because

00:24:30.480 I

00:24:30.680 wanted

00:24:30.880 people

00:24:31.120 to

00:24:31.280 like

00:24:31.480 me

00:24:31.720 so

00:24:32.260 the

00:24:32.400 other

00:24:32.620 way

00:24:32.800 awkwardness

00:24:33.280 dresses

00:24:33.560 up

00:24:33.940 is

00:24:34.440 that

00:24:34.740 sort

00:24:35.160 of

00:24:35.280 fake

00:24:35.520 smile

00:24:36.080 do

00:24:37.280 you

00:24:37.400 like

00:24:37.580 me

00:24:37.860 and

00:24:38.900 we

00:24:39.240 read

00:24:39.760 that

00:24:40.000 as

00:24:40.180 an

00:24:40.360 authentic

00:24:40.720 and

00:24:41.080 so

00:24:41.300 I

00:24:41.760 have

00:24:41.860 also

00:24:42.220 if

00:24:42.620 I

00:24:42.960 have

00:24:43.400 the

00:24:43.560 tendency

00:24:43.900 even

00:24:44.160 with

00:24:44.360 you

00:24:44.660 to

00:24:45.380 smile

00:24:45.700 for

00:24:45.940 you

00:24:46.140 like

00:24:46.740 I

00:24:46.900 want

00:24:47.080 to

00:24:47.180 smile

00:24:47.440 and

00:24:47.900 say

00:24:48.260 this

00:24:48.460 is

00:24:48.600 good

00:24:48.780 but

00:24:48.960 if

00:24:49.140 I

00:24:49.620 only

00:24:50.680 smile

00:24:51.020 if

00:24:51.180 I

00:24:51.300 actually

00:24:51.720 feel

00:24:51.940 excited

00:24:52.220 about

00:24:52.420 an

00:24:52.540 answer

00:24:52.800 or

00:24:52.980 if

00:24:53.080 I

00:24:53.180 actually

00:24:53.500 feel

00:24:53.660 excited

00:24:53.880 about

00:24:54.080 something

00:24:54.420 so

00:24:55.040 awkwardness

00:24:55.480 kind of

00:24:55.760 dresses up

00:24:56.180 in two

00:24:56.560 in two

00:24:57.520 different

00:24:57.800 extremes

00:24:58.280 right

00:24:59.560 so

00:25:00.100 that

00:25:00.400 triple

00:25:01.160 nod

00:25:01.640 that

00:25:02.160 seems

00:25:02.440 to me

00:25:02.780 something

00:25:03.100 like

00:25:03.520 I

00:25:04.140 get

00:25:04.480 it

00:25:04.760 then

00:25:05.160 I

00:25:05.420 think

00:25:06.000 about

00:25:06.300 it

00:25:06.560 then

00:25:07.360 I

00:25:07.540 agree

00:25:07.980 maybe

00:25:08.780 that's

00:25:09.100 the

00:25:09.280 signaling

00:25:09.680 of

00:25:09.980 the

00:25:10.140 trifecta

00:25:11.000 I like

00:25:12.080 it

00:25:12.180 I never

00:25:12.360 thought

00:25:12.560 about

00:25:12.720 that

00:25:12.880 before

00:25:13.120 maybe

00:25:13.460 it's

00:25:13.860 I

00:25:14.360 hear

00:25:14.620 you

00:25:14.860 right

00:25:15.040 like

00:25:15.180 that

00:25:15.360 acknowledgement

00:25:15.900 yes

00:25:16.460 and

00:25:16.840 yeah

00:25:17.480 and then

00:25:17.740 you're

00:25:17.900 internalizing

00:25:18.520 it

00:25:18.680 ah

00:25:18.880 yes

00:25:19.080 I

00:25:19.220 agree

00:25:23.080 yeah

00:25:23.640 and

00:25:23.980 you're

00:25:24.220 signaling

00:25:24.560 it

00:25:24.860 and

00:25:25.020 then

00:25:25.160 by

00:25:25.320 the

00:25:25.380 way

00:25:25.480 look

00:25:25.660 at

00:25:25.740 the

00:25:25.860 difference

00:25:26.300 so

00:25:26.480 nonverbal

00:25:26.840 is

00:25:27.020 so

00:25:27.220 interesting

00:25:27.660 a

00:25:28.100 slow

00:25:28.500 triple

00:25:28.820 nod

00:25:29.140 interest

00:25:29.660 curiosity

00:25:30.160 engagement

00:25:30.640 a

00:25:31.240 fast

00:25:31.640 triple

00:25:31.900 nod

00:25:32.200 impatience

00:25:32.880 so

00:25:33.140 watch

00:25:33.320 the

00:25:33.440 difference

00:25:33.760 so

00:25:33.960 we

00:25:34.060 go

00:25:34.220 tell

00:25:34.800 me

00:25:34.920 more

00:25:35.220 right

00:25:35.440 versus

00:25:36.080 mm-hmm

00:25:37.040 mm-hmm

00:25:37.760 yeah

00:25:38.920 get on

00:25:39.440 with it

00:25:39.800 right

00:25:39.980 that's

00:25:40.320 an

00:25:40.440 indication

00:25:41.000 to

00:25:41.380 mimic

00:25:41.840 my

00:25:42.200 speed

00:25:42.660 and

00:25:42.940 to

00:25:43.620 move

00:25:44.480 more

00:25:45.080 rapidly

00:25:45.580 towards

00:25:46.060 your

00:25:46.280 goal

00:25:46.680 right

00:25:47.540 to

00:25:47.660 be the

00:25:47.940 same

00:25:48.160 as

00:25:48.320 this

00:25:53.080 that's

00:25:53.940 smiling

00:25:54.400 too

00:25:54.840 yeah

00:25:56.260 that is

00:25:56.940 a

00:25:57.080 proclivity

00:25:57.800 of

00:25:58.060 women 1.00

00:25:58.400 more

00:25:58.920 yes

00:25:59.320 because

00:25:59.560 if

00:25:59.660 you

00:25:59.780 look

00:26:00.000 at

00:26:00.240 men

00:26:01.080 and

00:26:01.340 women 1.00

00:26:01.560 are

00:26:01.760 approximately

00:26:02.280 equal

00:26:03.060 in

00:26:03.240 extroversion

00:26:03.880 but

00:26:05.020 you can

00:26:05.380 break

00:26:05.660 extroversion

00:26:06.280 down

00:26:06.620 into

00:26:07.080 assertiveness

00:26:08.240 and

00:26:08.880 um

00:26:10.340 and

00:26:12.940 enthusiasm

00:26:13.620 outgoing

00:26:14.340 yeah

00:26:14.600 enthusiasm

00:26:15.080 yeah

00:26:15.280 and women

00:26:15.720 score

00:26:16.200 women 1.00

00:26:16.620 score

00:26:17.020 higher

00:26:17.420 on

00:26:17.660 enthusiasm

00:26:18.220 so

00:26:19.420 they're

00:26:19.680 signaling

00:26:20.080 more

00:26:20.400 positive

00:26:20.840 emotion

00:26:21.420 as a

00:26:22.740 general

00:26:23.020 rule

00:26:23.400 and

00:26:24.000 so

00:26:24.240 they'll

00:26:24.520 smile

00:26:25.080 more

00:26:25.540 as

00:26:25.760 well

00:26:26.060 so

00:26:27.840 that

00:26:31.060 up

00:26:33.140 up

00:26:33.880 talk

00:26:34.300 and

00:26:35.640 the

00:26:36.060 hunch

00:26:37.080 combined

00:26:38.620 with

00:26:38.900 nodding

00:26:39.440 that

00:26:40.260 definitely

00:26:40.760 signals

00:26:41.480 subordinate

00:26:42.760 status

00:26:43.520 right

00:26:44.840 and

00:26:45.680 I suppose

00:26:46.840 it's

00:26:47.140 those are

00:26:47.560 appeasement

00:26:48.080 gestures

00:26:48.500 in some

00:26:49.060 way

00:26:49.320 because

00:26:50.460 if you

00:26:52.280 signal

00:26:52.660 that

00:26:52.880 you're

00:26:53.080 harmless

00:26:53.540 or

00:26:54.760 you're

00:26:55.100 signaling

00:26:55.560 even

00:26:56.040 though

00:26:56.200 you

00:26:56.340 don't

00:26:56.560 know

00:26:56.740 it

00:26:56.880 that

00:26:57.020 you're

00:26:57.320 like

00:26:57.720 a

00:26:57.920 child

00:26:58.400 then

00:26:59.460 you're

00:26:59.700 going

00:26:59.960 to

00:27:00.500 present

00:27:02.400 yourself

00:27:02.840 as an

00:27:03.320 inappropriate

00:27:04.100 target

00:27:05.040 of

00:27:05.520 aggression

00:27:06.680 or perhaps

00:27:07.280 even

00:27:07.560 competition

00:27:08.200 and so

00:27:09.640 maybe you

00:27:11.320 want that

00:27:11.920 in some

00:27:12.440 circumstances

00:27:13.200 but if

00:27:13.720 you're

00:27:14.520 attempting

00:27:15.000 to market

00:27:15.580 yourself

00:27:16.000 as

00:27:16.240 competent

00:27:16.800 that

00:27:17.840 seems

00:27:18.100 like a

00:27:18.440 bad

00:27:18.660 approach

00:27:19.100 I

00:27:19.280 wonder

00:27:19.560 you

00:27:19.740 know

00:27:19.920 there

00:27:20.680 is

00:27:20.880 this

00:27:21.360 trope

00:27:23.320 which

00:27:23.760 is

00:27:23.920 mostly

00:27:24.320 false

00:27:24.840 that

00:27:25.820 women 1.00

00:27:26.180 are

00:27:26.400 underpaid

00:27:27.000 compared

00:27:28.520 to men

00:27:29.100 let's

00:27:30.020 say

00:27:30.200 in the

00:27:30.480 same

00:27:30.700 position

00:27:31.180 now

00:27:31.840 most

00:27:32.660 of

00:27:32.820 that's

00:27:33.780 rubbish

00:27:34.260 or

00:27:34.860 can be

00:27:35.680 accounted

00:27:36.000 for

00:27:36.300 by factors

00:27:37.420 other than

00:27:37.980 sex

00:27:38.480 but

00:27:39.780 I've

00:27:40.540 always

00:27:40.780 had

00:27:41.000 the

00:27:41.160 suspicion

00:27:41.620 that

00:27:41.940 some

00:27:42.220 of

00:27:42.400 that

00:27:42.620 might

00:27:42.900 be

00:27:43.240 agreeableness

00:27:44.700 right

00:27:45.580 because

00:27:45.940 women 1.00

00:27:46.220 are

00:27:46.480 higher

00:27:47.080 in

00:27:47.300 agreeableness

00:27:47.960 than

00:27:48.200 men

00:27:48.440 and

00:27:49.360 it

00:27:50.260 isn't

00:27:50.520 exactly

00:27:50.980 obvious

00:27:51.460 that

00:27:51.780 the

00:27:51.980 proper

00:27:52.240 way

00:27:52.480 to

00:27:52.620 negotiate

00:27:53.120 a

00:27:53.360 raise

00:27:53.700 let's

00:27:54.040 say

00:27:54.240 is

00:27:54.480 through

00:27:54.860 excess

00:27:56.020 agreeableness

00:27:56.640 because

00:27:56.940 what

00:27:57.220 you're

00:27:57.440 signaling

00:27:57.800 is

00:27:58.080 that

00:27:58.320 you'll

00:27:59.400 pretty

00:27:59.640 much

00:27:59.880 put

00:28:00.120 up

00:28:00.280 with

00:28:00.520 anything

00:28:01.660 because

00:28:02.100 you're

00:28:02.380 dependent

00:28:02.880 all

00:28:03.500 those

00:28:03.740 things

00:28:04.000 we

00:28:04.160 talked

00:28:04.420 about

00:28:04.640 the

00:28:04.880 uplift

00:28:05.360 the

00:28:05.840 condensed

00:28:07.440 body

00:28:08.000 too

00:28:08.940 much

00:28:09.200 nodding

00:28:09.720 too

00:28:10.140 much

00:28:10.360 smiling

00:28:10.800 that

00:28:11.580 all

00:28:11.780 indicates

00:28:12.280 a

00:28:13.000 state

00:28:13.420 it's

00:28:13.960 signaling

00:28:14.320 dependency

00:28:15.060 and

00:28:16.060 you

00:28:16.640 that's

00:28:17.940 not

00:28:18.120 appropriate

00:28:18.560 if

00:28:18.900 you're

00:28:19.180 trying

00:28:19.680 to

00:28:19.880 sell

00:28:20.140 something

00:28:20.640 and

00:28:22.160 it's

00:28:23.740 not

00:28:23.920 appropriate

00:28:24.320 if

00:28:24.560 you're

00:28:24.720 trying

00:28:24.900 to

00:28:25.100 bargain

00:28:25.440 for

00:28:26.540 a

00:28:27.020 raise

00:28:28.340 or

00:28:28.540 a

00:28:28.700 promotion

00:28:29.160 it

00:28:30.320 signals

00:28:30.700 exactly

00:28:31.160 the

00:28:31.380 opposite

00:28:31.700 so

00:28:32.000 do

00:28:32.700 you

00:28:32.820 know

00:28:33.160 of

00:28:34.520 any

00:28:35.040 research

00:28:35.580 linking

00:28:36.680 these

00:28:38.120 immature

00:28:38.620 styles

00:28:39.200 of

00:28:39.640 self

00:28:40.680 presentation

00:28:41.360 to

00:28:42.340 wage

00:28:42.880 to

00:28:43.480 earnings

00:28:43.880 it's

00:28:45.560 an

00:28:45.660 interesting

00:28:45.900 time

00:28:46.200 for

00:28:46.340 business

00:28:46.640 with

00:28:46.840 dynamic

00:28:47.200 tariff

00:28:47.580 and

00:28:47.720 trade

00:28:47.940 policies

00:28:48.440 squeeze

00:28:48.980 supply

00:28:49.360 chains

00:28:49.700 and

00:28:49.900 cash

00:28:50.200 flow

00:28:50.420 tighter

00:28:50.780 than

00:28:50.960 ever

00:28:51.160 if

00:28:51.660 your

00:28:51.780 business

00:28:52.060 can't

00:28:52.400 adapt

00:28:52.720 in

00:28:52.860 real

00:28:53.000 time

00:28:53.340 you're

00:28:53.820 in

00:28:53.900 a

00:28:53.980 world

00:28:54.140 of

00:28:54.280 hurt

00:28:54.480 you need

00:28:55.000 total

00:28:55.240 visibility

00:28:55.640 from

00:28:55.920 global

00:28:56.220 shipments

00:28:56.600 to

00:28:56.780 tariff

00:28:57.060 impacts

00:28:57.460 to

00:28:57.640 real

00:28:57.820 time

00:28:58.000 cash

00:28:58.300 flow

00:28:58.520 that's

00:28:59.060 where

00:28:59.160 NetSuite

00:28:59.620 by Oracle

00:29:00.140 comes

00:29:00.460 in

00:29:00.640 your AI

00:29:01.140 powered

00:29:01.460 business

00:29:01.780 management

00:29:02.160 suite

00:29:06.680 number

00:29:06.800 one

00:29:06.980 cloud

00:29:07.260 ERP

00:29:07.760 because

00:29:08.020 it

00:29:08.160 brings

00:29:08.340 everything

00:29:08.740 together

00:29:09.140 accounting

00:29:09.580 financial

00:29:10.080 management

00:29:10.540 inventory

00:29:11.260 and

00:29:11.620 HR

00:29:12.000 into

00:29:12.240 one

00:29:12.520 cohesive

00:29:12.920 suite

00:29:13.320 no more

00:29:13.800 jumping

00:29:14.040 between

00:29:14.320 systems

00:29:14.760 or

00:29:15.040 reconciling

00:29:15.680 conflicting

00:29:16.140 data

00:29:16.540 with a

00:29:16.940 single

00:29:17.120 source

00:29:17.340 of

00:29:17.480 truth

00:29:17.740 you gain

00:29:18.200 the

00:29:18.340 visibility

00:29:18.740 and

00:29:19.120 control

00:29:19.500 needed

00:29:19.780 to

00:29:19.900 make

00:29:20.040 quick

00:29:20.260 decisions

00:29:20.740 the

00:29:21.060 real-time

00:29:21.380 forecasting

00:29:21.860 lets

00:29:22.100 you peer

00:29:22.420 into the

00:29:22.680 future

00:29:22.940 with

00:29:23.160 actionable

00:29:23.600 data

00:29:23.980 helping

00:29:24.460 you stay

00:29:24.800 ahead of

00:29:25.100 challenges

00:29:25.480 the AI

00:29:26.300 embedded

00:29:26.620 throughout

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00:29:27.520 everyday

00:29:27.860 tasks

00:29:28.360 allowing

00:29:28.700 your team

00:29:29.180 to remain

00:29:29.520 strategic

00:29:30.000 while

00:29:30.540 helping

00:29:30.780 you identify

00:29:31.360 bottlenecks

00:29:32.060 understanding

00:29:32.780 their costs

00:29:33.400 and pivot

00:29:33.980 rapidly

00:29:34.440 when

00:29:34.680 circumstances

00:29:35.280 demand

00:29:35.660 it

00:29:35.840 in

00:29:36.120 today's

00:29:36.440 business

00:29:36.720 environment

00:29:37.120 that kind

00:29:37.660 of agility

00:29:38.040 is absolutely

00:29:38.980 essential

00:29:39.560 it's one

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00:29:46.080 download the

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00:29:47.220 navigating

00:29:47.680 global trade

00:29:48.460 three insights

00:29:49.180 for leaders

00:29:49.680 at NetSuite

00:29:50.380 dot com

00:29:51.000 slash

00:29:51.260 jbp

00:29:51.820 that's

00:29:52.220 NetSuite

00:29:52.540 dot com

00:29:53.120 slash

00:29:53.360 jbp

00:29:54.020 i haven't

00:29:57.440 seen anything

00:29:57.880 directly related

00:29:58.660 to wage

00:29:59.180 but we do

00:29:59.720 know that

00:30:00.120 your nonverbal

00:30:01.000 cues in a

00:30:01.780 salary negotiation

00:30:02.600 directly impact

00:30:03.620 your bottom

00:30:03.980 line

00:30:04.200 so when

00:30:05.780 they look

00:30:06.320 at nonverbal

00:30:06.660 cues

00:30:06.860 and we

00:30:07.260 can say

00:30:07.660 yes

00:30:08.000 that

00:30:08.280 if you're

00:30:08.860 using

00:30:09.120 all those

00:30:09.500 appeasement

00:30:10.000 signals

00:30:10.520 people are

00:30:11.280 going to

00:30:11.780 doubt

00:30:12.240 your competence

00:30:13.020 because you

00:30:13.660 have too

00:30:14.060 much warmth

00:30:14.620 and we

00:30:15.240 know

00:30:15.560 that

00:30:15.960 even by

00:30:16.720 watching

00:30:17.080 silent

00:30:17.560 videos

00:30:18.040 of

00:30:18.660 interviews

00:30:19.180 people

00:30:19.920 can decide

00:30:20.700 how

00:30:20.960 competent

00:30:21.320 someone

00:30:21.600 is

00:30:21.760 without

00:30:21.940 hearing

00:30:22.220 them

00:30:22.400 speak

00:30:22.740 which is

00:30:23.580 horrifying

00:30:24.280 right

00:30:25.160 and so

00:30:25.940 for example

00:30:26.780 I think

00:30:27.400 MIT

00:30:27.720 did a

00:30:28.120 study

00:30:28.340 on

00:30:28.700 mirroring

00:30:29.560 in

00:30:29.740 salary

00:30:30.020 negotiation

00:30:30.620 and this

00:30:31.500 is an

00:30:31.640 interesting

00:30:31.880 one

00:30:32.140 because

00:30:32.540 both

00:30:33.600 men

00:30:33.920 and

00:30:34.200 women 1.00

00:30:34.480 mirror

00:30:34.920 and

00:30:35.880 actually

00:30:36.280 mirroring

00:30:36.920 you could

00:30:37.260 argue

00:30:37.720 I'm

00:30:38.140 going to

00:30:38.320 argue

00:30:38.580 it

00:30:38.820 is

00:30:39.140 a bit

00:30:39.800 of

00:30:39.920 an

00:30:40.020 appeasement

00:30:40.660 right

00:30:41.120 to get

00:30:41.480 along

00:30:41.900 kind

00:30:42.420 of

00:30:42.500 a

00:30:42.580 nonverbal

00:30:42.980 cue

00:30:43.260 the

00:30:43.860 more

00:30:44.160 mirroring

00:30:44.840 that

00:30:45.020 you

00:30:45.160 have

00:30:45.540 in

00:30:45.640 a

00:30:45.740 salary

00:30:45.940 negotiation

00:30:46.420 so

00:30:46.600 the

00:30:46.740 more

00:30:46.940 that

00:30:47.100 the

00:30:47.420 interviewee

00:30:48.700 mirrors

00:30:49.440 their

00:30:49.880 interviewer

00:30:50.840 the

00:30:51.340 higher

00:30:51.740 the

00:30:51.940 outcome

00:30:52.240 of

00:30:52.420 the

00:30:52.560 salary

00:30:52.880 and

00:30:54.160 so

00:30:54.440 we

00:30:54.780 know

00:30:55.140 that

00:30:55.400 any

00:30:55.860 kind

00:30:56.140 of

00:30:56.220 nonverbal

00:30:56.600 cues

00:30:56.960 affect

00:30:59.520 that

00:31:00.080 number

00:31:00.740 and so

00:31:01.220 yeah

00:31:01.440 I think

00:31:01.720 that we

00:31:01.960 can

00:31:02.220 while I

00:31:02.760 haven't

00:31:02.940 seen

00:31:03.080 direct

00:31:03.360 research

00:31:03.680 on

00:31:03.860 warmth

00:31:04.160 and

00:31:04.380 competence

00:31:05.100 or

00:31:05.280 men

00:31:05.420 and

00:31:05.520 women 1.00

00:31:05.700 we

00:31:06.240 know

00:31:06.460 that

00:31:06.620 those

00:31:06.780 nonverbal

00:31:07.140 cues

00:31:07.340 are

00:31:07.500 affecting

00:31:07.780 your

00:31:07.960 number

00:31:08.240 delve

00:31:09.760 into

00:31:10.000 mirroring

00:31:10.560 a little

00:31:10.840 bit

00:31:11.120 and

00:31:11.340 I

00:31:11.820 suppose

00:31:12.260 the

00:31:12.520 way

00:31:12.660 I

00:31:12.800 would

00:31:12.940 think

00:31:13.120 about

00:31:13.340 it

00:31:13.540 I'll

00:31:14.200 set

00:31:14.400 the

00:31:14.540 question

00:31:14.840 up

00:31:15.080 is

00:31:15.280 that

00:31:15.540 when

00:31:17.240 you're

00:31:17.440 communicating

00:31:17.980 with

00:31:18.240 someone

00:31:18.620 you

00:31:20.960 want

00:31:21.340 to

00:31:21.980 share

00:31:22.460 the

00:31:22.720 framework

00:31:23.320 that

00:31:23.700 a

00:31:24.780 goal

00:31:25.140 a

00:31:25.340 mutual

00:31:25.680 goal

00:31:26.040 provides

00:31:26.720 so

00:31:27.680 you're

00:31:27.920 establishing

00:31:28.380 a little

00:31:28.740 space

00:31:29.280 where

00:31:30.280 communication

00:31:31.600 can take

00:31:32.320 place

00:31:32.620 but it's

00:31:33.080 in

00:31:33.440 relationship

00:31:34.040 to

00:31:34.560 some

00:31:35.720 mutually

00:31:36.380 agreed

00:31:36.760 upon

00:31:37.080 end

00:31:37.540 otherwise

00:31:39.680 you're

00:31:40.040 imposing

00:31:40.460 on

00:31:40.780 them

00:31:41.020 and

00:31:42.620 mirroring

00:31:44.960 which

00:31:45.260 I'll

00:31:45.500 have

00:31:45.840 you

00:31:46.000 describe

00:31:46.520 indicates

00:31:47.900 that

00:31:48.520 your

00:31:50.360 physiological

00:31:51.120 tendencies

00:31:51.960 are

00:31:53.600 allied

00:31:54.720 with

00:31:55.340 them

00:31:55.740 with

00:31:56.460 theirs

00:31:56.780 it

00:31:57.180 means

00:31:57.380 you're

00:31:57.600 going

00:31:57.940 somewhere

00:31:58.360 together

00:31:58.820 because

00:31:59.340 it's

00:31:59.540 movement

00:32:00.000 oriented

00:32:00.620 and so

00:32:01.900 but

00:32:02.400 describe

00:32:02.880 mirroring

00:32:03.520 and

00:32:03.700 suggest

00:32:04.840 to

00:32:05.180 people

00:32:05.520 how

00:32:06.660 you

00:32:06.860 think

00:32:07.120 it

00:32:07.280 might

00:32:07.480 be

00:32:07.940 attended

00:32:09.540 to

00:32:09.880 and

00:32:10.120 perfected

00:32:10.980 so

00:32:11.940 mirroring

00:32:12.420 is

00:32:12.640 the

00:32:12.840 subtle

00:32:13.220 mimicking

00:32:14.020 or

00:32:14.440 copying

00:32:15.020 mirroring

00:32:16.140 of

00:32:16.500 someone's

00:32:16.940 cues

00:32:17.240 and

00:32:17.480 actually

00:32:17.920 I

00:32:19.220 take

00:32:19.400 a

00:32:19.560 bigger

00:32:19.820 approach

00:32:20.220 to

00:32:20.380 mirroring

00:32:20.720 which

00:32:20.940 is

00:32:21.220 it's

00:32:21.440 nonverbal

00:32:21.900 it

00:32:22.720 can

00:32:23.180 be

00:32:23.340 verbal

00:32:23.660 it

00:32:24.420 can

00:32:24.540 also

00:32:24.680 be

00:32:24.860 vocal

00:32:25.200 and

00:32:26.220 I

00:32:26.380 like

00:32:26.560 to

00:32:26.680 think

00:32:26.800 about

00:32:26.980 it

00:32:27.080 in

00:32:27.120 all

00:32:27.300 three

00:32:27.540 ways

00:32:27.900 for

00:32:28.300 example

00:32:28.640 if

00:32:28.900 you're

00:32:29.020 with

00:32:29.220 someone

00:32:29.520 and

00:32:29.700 mirroring

00:32:30.240 showcases

00:32:31.060 engagement

00:32:32.120 alignment

00:32:33.080 and

00:32:34.280 I

00:32:34.700 say

00:32:35.200 it's

00:32:35.600 nonverbal

00:32:36.300 respect

00:32:36.800 you

00:32:37.940 don't

00:32:38.120 have

00:32:38.360 to

00:32:38.540 agree

00:32:39.020 with

00:32:39.280 what

00:32:40.980 mirror

00:32:41.260 them

00:32:41.480 you're

00:32:41.660 basically

00:32:42.020 following

00:32:42.540 their

00:32:42.780 energy

00:32:43.160 you're

00:32:43.740 saying

00:32:44.060 I

00:32:44.560 respect

00:32:45.020 you

00:32:45.260 so

00:32:45.580 much

00:32:46.020 that

00:32:46.440 I'm

00:32:46.720 going

00:32:46.860 to

00:32:47.100 align

00:32:47.640 my

00:32:48.100 verbal

00:32:48.720 vocal

00:32:49.020 and

00:32:49.200 nonverbal

00:32:49.540 cues

00:32:49.880 to

00:32:50.100 match

00:32:50.420 you

00:32:50.620 as

00:32:50.820 a

00:32:50.960 sign

00:32:51.140 of

00:32:51.260 respect

00:32:51.540 it's

00:32:51.720 the

00:32:51.820 same

00:32:51.980 way

00:32:52.120 we

00:32:52.320 dress

00:32:53.120 up

00:32:53.360 for

00:32:53.520 a

00:32:53.640 formal

00:32:53.840 interview

00:32:54.240 or

00:32:54.800 we

00:32:54.960 dress

00:32:55.220 more

00:32:55.400 casual

00:32:55.760 for

00:32:55.980 a

00:32:56.100 casual

00:32:56.360 interview

00:32:56.640 it's

00:32:56.940 the

00:32:57.120 same

00:32:57.340 it's

00:32:57.520 a

00:32:57.620 form

00:32:57.960 of

00:32:58.080 nonverbal

00:32:58.420 respect

00:32:58.780 saying

00:32:59.200 I'm

00:32:59.840 meeting

00:33:00.140 you

00:33:00.340 where

00:33:00.520 you're

00:33:00.760 at

00:33:01.060 as

00:33:10.980 if

00:33:11.620 you

00:33:11.780 nod

00:33:12.040 maybe

00:33:12.360 I

00:33:12.580 nod

00:33:12.820 right

00:33:13.320 if

00:33:13.820 if

00:33:14.080 you're

00:33:14.280 leaning

00:33:14.540 forward

00:33:14.900 in

00:33:15.060 your

00:33:15.180 chair

00:33:15.440 maybe

00:33:15.680 I

00:33:15.980 lean

00:33:16.160 forward

00:33:16.380 in

00:33:16.500 my

00:33:16.620 chair

00:33:16.780 a

00:33:16.880 little

00:33:16.960 bit

00:33:17.060 more

00:33:17.200 too

00:33:17.500 if

00:33:18.160 you're

00:33:18.760 making

00:33:19.000 an

00:33:19.180 eye

00:33:19.400 contact

00:33:19.740 pattern

00:33:20.140 there's

00:33:20.360 different

00:33:20.580 eye

00:33:20.840 contact

00:33:21.300 patterns

00:33:22.160 but

00:33:22.680 if

00:33:22.820 you're

00:33:22.940 making

00:33:23.140 an

00:33:23.280 eye

00:33:23.440 contact

00:33:23.720 pattern

00:33:24.100 where

00:33:24.360 you

00:33:24.860 brainstorm

00:33:25.320 up

00:33:25.620 here

00:33:25.880 you

00:33:26.100 often

00:33:26.360 see

00:33:26.540 people

00:33:26.740 process

00:33:27.340 complex

00:33:28.020 ideas

00:33:28.500 and

00:33:28.700 they

00:33:28.800 won't

00:33:28.980 make

00:33:29.140 eye

00:33:29.360 contact

00:33:29.700 because

00:33:30.300 they

00:33:30.420 actually

00:33:30.660 don't

00:33:30.940 want

00:33:31.180 the

00:33:31.300 oxytocin

00:33:31.880 they're

00:33:32.040 trying

00:33:32.320 to

00:33:32.460 have

00:33:32.620 full

00:33:32.840 focus

00:33:33.300 and

00:33:33.860 then

00:33:33.980 at

00:33:34.060 the

00:33:34.160 very

00:33:34.360 end

00:33:34.640 of

00:33:34.760 their

00:33:34.880 statement

00:33:35.320 that

00:33:35.920 they

00:33:36.020 deliver

00:33:36.280 to

00:33:36.480 you

00:33:36.720 that's

00:33:37.780 an

00:33:37.940 eye

00:33:38.540 contact

00:33:38.860 pattern

00:33:39.240 and

00:33:39.540 you

00:33:39.680 can

00:33:39.820 also

00:33:40.160 use

00:33:40.640 that

00:33:40.780 if

00:33:41.040 that

00:33:41.420 feels

00:33:41.620 comfortable

00:33:41.980 but

00:33:42.300 there's

00:33:42.560 caveats

00:33:43.020 here

00:33:43.260 one

00:33:43.720 I

00:33:44.280 never

00:33:44.640 want

00:33:44.860 you

00:33:44.940 to

00:33:45.040 use

00:33:45.200 a cue

00:33:45.440 that

00:33:45.580 feels

00:33:45.780 fake

00:33:46.040 or

00:33:46.140 inauthentic

00:33:46.700 it

00:33:46.960 will

00:33:47.060 come

00:33:47.260 across

00:33:47.560 as

00:33:47.720 fake

00:33:47.920 and

00:33:48.020 authentic

00:33:48.400 so

00:33:49.260 if

00:33:49.540 you

00:33:49.660 can

00:33:49.840 match

00:33:50.260 them

00:33:50.420 and

00:33:50.500 that

00:33:50.620 feels

00:33:50.760 good

00:33:50.920 to

00:33:51.040 you

00:33:51.140 great

00:33:51.340 second

00:33:51.900 it

00:33:52.180 must

00:33:52.400 be

00:33:52.600 subtle

00:33:52.900 the

00:33:53.400 worst

00:33:53.680 thing

00:33:53.840 that

00:33:53.940 we

00:33:54.060 could

00:33:54.200 possibly

00:33:54.600 do

00:33:54.860 is

00:33:55.020 like

00:33:55.180 Simon

00:33:55.460 says

00:33:55.920 you

00:33:56.120 know

00:33:56.260 like

00:33:56.480 you

00:33:56.980 know

00:33:57.100 they

00:33:57.600 touch

00:33:57.840 their

00:33:57.980 face

00:33:58.200 you

00:33:58.340 cross

00:34:00.740 your

00:34:00.900 arms

00:34:01.100 I

00:34:01.220 cross

00:34:01.400 my

00:34:01.540 arms

00:34:01.640 that

00:34:01.920 would

00:34:02.200 be

00:34:02.320 the

00:34:02.480 worst

00:34:02.640 so

00:34:02.760 this

00:34:02.940 is

00:34:03.140 a

00:34:03.340 subtle

00:34:04.200 following

00:34:05.260 of

00:34:05.460 energy

00:34:05.900 my

00:34:06.780 second

00:34:07.380 favorite

00:34:07.740 way

00:34:08.040 to

00:34:08.260 mirror

00:34:08.500 and

00:34:08.680 the

00:34:08.780 one

00:34:08.880 that

00:34:08.980 I

00:34:09.100 use

00:34:09.280 the

00:34:09.400 most

00:34:09.540 often

00:34:09.920 is

00:34:10.640 vocal

00:34:11.280 vocal

00:34:12.780 is

00:34:13.060 an

00:34:13.380 underestimated

00:34:14.380 channel

00:34:15.100 that

00:34:15.260 we

00:34:15.380 have

00:34:15.720 to

00:34:15.900 communicate

00:34:16.280 and

00:34:17.060 we

00:34:17.180 are

00:34:17.260 already

00:34:17.540 doing

00:34:17.920 this

00:34:18.220 subconsciously

00:34:19.040 and

00:34:19.220 there's

00:34:19.520 some

00:34:19.700 beautiful

00:34:20.100 research

00:34:20.480 on

00:34:20.680 this

00:34:20.920 but

00:34:21.460 we

00:34:22.380 tend

00:34:22.660 to

00:34:22.940 mimic

00:34:23.300 the

00:34:23.780 resonance

00:34:24.300 of

00:34:24.760 the

00:34:24.880 most

00:34:25.060 powerful

00:34:25.560 person

00:34:25.980 in

00:34:26.120 the

00:34:26.220 room

00:34:26.420 without

00:34:26.920 realizing

00:34:27.400 it

00:34:27.740 so

00:34:28.380 already

00:34:29.000 we

00:34:29.740 are

00:34:30.080 attuned

00:34:31.020 to

00:34:31.180 the

00:34:31.280 vocal

00:34:31.480 power

00:34:31.840 so

00:34:32.280 for

00:34:32.440 example

00:34:32.720 you

00:34:33.640 speak

00:34:33.980 more

00:34:34.200 slowly

00:34:34.520 than

00:34:34.720 I

00:34:34.860 do

00:34:35.020 Jordan

00:34:35.300 I'm

00:34:35.680 a

00:34:35.820 fast

00:34:36.260 talker

00:34:36.880 and

00:34:37.480 so

00:34:37.640 for

00:34:37.860 our

00:34:38.080 interview

00:34:38.460 I

00:34:39.040 want

00:34:39.220 to

00:34:39.320 respect

00:34:39.700 the

00:34:39.920 way

00:34:40.020 you

00:34:40.260 communicate

00:34:40.660 and

00:34:40.940 also

00:34:41.180 the

00:34:41.340 way

00:34:41.440 your

00:34:41.700 listeners

00:34:42.100 probably

00:34:42.540 prefer

00:34:42.920 to

00:34:43.120 listen

00:34:43.420 right

00:34:43.940 so

00:34:44.600 I

00:34:44.980 am

00:34:45.160 like

00:34:45.440 take

00:34:46.680 a

00:34:46.860 breath

00:34:47.160 calm

00:34:48.200 down

00:34:48.480 you

00:34:48.620 don't

00:34:48.720 have

00:34:48.880 to

00:34:48.980 be

00:34:49.240 so

00:34:49.760 rapid

00:34:50.320 nervous

00:34:51.000 you

00:34:51.500 can

00:34:51.640 just

00:34:51.780 take

00:34:51.940 a

00:34:52.040 breath

00:34:52.220 so

00:34:52.380 I'm

00:34:52.760 doing

00:34:53.340 that

00:34:53.580 because

00:34:53.880 it

00:34:54.240 feels

00:34:54.400 actually

00:34:54.660 really

00:34:54.860 comfortable

00:34:55.200 for

00:34:55.580 me

00:34:55.720 less

00:34:57.040 nerve

00:34:57.300 wracking

00:34:57.500 but

00:34:57.700 also

00:34:57.960 I

00:34:58.100 want

00:34:58.240 to

00:34:58.340 show

00:34:58.580 you

00:34:58.780 that

00:34:59.020 I

00:34:59.220 want

00:34:59.380 to

00:34:59.500 speak

00:35:00.040 at

00:35:00.180 your

00:35:00.300 same

00:35:00.540 pace

00:35:00.940 we

00:35:01.920 also

00:35:02.200 can

00:35:02.440 do

00:35:02.580 this

00:35:02.940 verbally

00:35:10.020 kinds

00:35:10.380 of

00:35:10.560 words

00:35:10.880 if

00:35:11.140 I

00:35:11.360 like

00:35:11.680 those

00:35:11.920 words

00:35:12.200 I

00:35:12.460 will

00:35:12.640 use

00:35:12.940 those

00:35:13.160 words

00:35:13.380 as

00:35:13.540 well

00:35:13.720 so

00:35:13.920 for

00:35:14.060 example

00:35:14.320 when

00:35:14.520 you're

00:35:14.760 asking

00:35:15.380 me

00:35:15.540 a

00:35:15.640 question

00:35:15.880 and

00:35:16.040 you

00:35:16.160 use

00:35:16.400 the

00:35:16.540 word

00:35:16.700 alignment

00:35:17.240 and

00:35:17.760 I'm

00:35:17.860 like

00:35:18.080 that

00:35:18.980 is

00:35:19.140 a

00:35:19.240 good

00:35:19.340 word

00:35:19.600 I'm

00:35:20.440 going

00:35:20.600 to

00:35:20.740 try

00:35:20.920 to

00:35:21.040 use

00:35:21.260 that

00:35:21.420 answer

00:35:21.780 back

00:35:22.140 to

00:35:22.320 you

00:35:22.400 to

00:35:22.520 talk

00:35:22.720 about

00:35:22.880 alignment

00:35:23.240 or

00:35:23.540 when

00:35:23.660 you

00:35:23.800 say

00:35:24.040 when

00:35:24.920 I'm

00:35:25.160 on

00:35:25.300 stage

00:35:25.680 I'm

00:35:26.160 trying

00:35:26.960 to

00:35:27.180 connect

00:35:27.440 with

00:35:27.580 my

00:35:27.720 audience

00:35:28.040 one

00:35:28.340 to

00:35:28.480 one

00:35:28.760 I'm

00:35:40.020 just

00:35:40.420 the

00:35:40.580 way

00:35:40.660 that

00:35:40.760 we're

00:35:40.880 communicating

00:35:41.360 then

00:35:42.000 it

00:35:42.140 helps

00:35:42.440 us

00:35:42.720 when

00:35:42.940 we

00:35:42.960 get

00:35:43.060 to

00:35:43.160 the

00:35:43.260 actual

00:35:43.540 ideas

00:35:44.020 let's

00:35:45.400 talk

00:35:45.700 a little

00:35:45.980 bit

00:35:46.180 about

00:35:46.440 some

00:35:46.680 of

00:35:46.800 the

00:35:46.900 other

00:35:47.120 phenomena

00:35:47.580 that

00:35:47.880 you

00:35:48.160 mentioned

00:35:49.100 fronting

00:35:51.240 now

00:35:52.340 human

00:35:53.140 beings

00:35:53.460 are

00:35:53.640 strange

00:35:54.100 creatures

00:35:54.540 because

00:35:54.900 we

00:35:55.180 walk

00:35:55.460 upright

00:35:55.920 and

00:35:56.640 so

00:35:56.940 that

00:35:57.180 means

00:35:57.480 that

00:35:57.820 unlike

00:35:59.100 four

00:36:00.140 legged

00:36:00.440 animals

00:36:01.000 we

00:36:02.200 aren't

00:36:02.540 protected

00:36:02.980 by a

00:36:04.080 suit

00:36:04.400 of

00:36:04.560 armor

00:36:04.840 precisely

00:36:05.540 right

00:36:06.620 so

00:36:07.020 the

00:36:07.540 most

00:36:07.740 vulnerable

00:36:08.120 parts

00:36:08.520 of

00:36:08.640 us

00:36:08.840 are

00:36:09.060 full

00:36:10.100 frontal

00:36:10.520 and

00:36:11.800 so

00:36:12.260 that

00:36:14.520 accounts

00:36:15.000 at least

00:36:15.380 to some

00:36:16.400 degree

00:36:16.740 for

00:36:17.220 why

00:36:18.620 the

00:36:18.920 concept

00:36:19.420 of

00:36:19.700 fronting

00:36:20.080 is

00:36:20.280 important

00:36:20.740 so

00:36:21.080 do

00:36:21.300 you

00:36:21.380 want

00:36:21.560 to

00:36:21.780 delve

00:36:22.340 into

00:36:22.540 that

00:36:22.860 to

00:36:23.320 some

00:36:23.500 degree

00:36:23.840 yeah

00:36:25.000 you

00:36:25.140 explained

00:36:25.440 it

00:36:25.600 perfectly

00:36:25.960 there's

00:36:26.420 there's

00:36:26.700 two

00:36:26.900 reasons

00:36:27.200 why

00:36:27.320 we

00:36:27.420 like

00:36:27.560 to

00:36:27.680 front

00:36:27.880 and

00:36:28.040 why

00:36:28.200 I

00:36:28.360 think

00:36:28.520 this

00:36:28.640 is

00:36:28.760 one

00:36:28.900 of

00:36:28.980 the

00:36:29.100 easiest

00:36:29.380 cues

00:36:29.660 we

00:36:29.820 can

00:36:29.940 do

00:36:30.180 we

00:36:30.640 can

00:36:30.760 do

00:36:30.860 it

00:36:30.940 on

00:36:31.040 video

00:36:31.320 so

00:36:31.680 how

00:36:31.960 we

00:36:32.140 position

00:36:32.480 our

00:36:32.680 camera

00:36:33.000 is

00:36:33.180 actually

00:36:33.420 very

00:36:33.740 important

00:36:39.060 camera

00:36:39.520 if

00:36:39.640 you're

00:36:39.760 propping

00:36:40.020 it

00:36:40.140 up

00:36:40.300 is

00:36:40.860 exactly

00:36:41.660 in line

00:36:42.060 with

00:36:42.200 the

00:36:42.300 other

00:36:42.460 person

00:36:42.860 I

00:36:43.300 see

00:36:43.460 people

00:36:43.980 with

00:36:44.240 their

00:36:44.340 setup

00:36:44.600 where

00:36:44.820 they're

00:36:44.940 off

00:36:45.140 to

00:36:45.240 the

00:36:45.340 side

00:36:45.580 so

00:36:46.520 video

00:36:46.860 in

00:36:47.100 person

00:36:47.400 and

00:36:47.620 even

00:36:48.020 in

00:36:48.320 chairs

00:36:48.600 like

00:36:48.800 if

00:36:48.900 I'm

00:36:49.060 in

00:36:49.120 a

00:36:49.220 conference

00:36:49.540 room

00:36:49.780 and

00:36:49.880 I'm

00:36:50.000 around

00:36:50.260 a

00:36:50.400 boardroom

00:36:50.780 table

00:36:51.120 I

00:36:51.720 love

00:36:52.100 rotating

00:36:52.580 chairs

00:36:52.920 or

00:36:53.140 rolling

00:36:53.460 chairs

00:36:53.820 because

00:36:54.120 I

00:36:54.380 will

00:36:54.560 rotate

00:36:55.020 my

00:36:55.240 body

00:36:55.580 to

00:36:56.100 whoever

00:36:56.340 is

00:36:56.540 speaking

00:36:56.780 as

00:36:57.100 a way

00:36:57.320 of

00:36:57.420 respect

00:36:57.740 respect

00:36:58.160 what

00:36:58.900 does

00:36:59.040 this

00:36:59.200 fronting

00:36:59.560 do

00:36:59.820 one

00:37:00.360 it

00:37:00.680 shows

00:37:00.940 as

00:37:01.180 you

00:37:01.340 said

00:37:01.620 I

00:37:02.220 feel

00:37:02.460 comfortable

00:37:02.860 enough

00:37:03.200 with

00:37:03.380 you

00:37:03.540 that

00:37:03.720 I

00:37:03.920 don't

00:37:04.120 feel

00:37:04.280 I

00:37:04.380 have

00:37:04.520 to

00:37:04.660 block

00:37:04.940 my

00:37:05.120 vital

00:37:05.360 organs

00:37:05.760 but

00:37:06.480 more

00:37:06.800 importantly

00:37:07.280 I

00:37:07.580 think

00:37:07.760 there's

00:37:07.960 a

00:37:08.140 synchronization

00:37:08.940 that

00:37:09.620 happens

00:37:10.240 when

00:37:11.080 our

00:37:11.640 toes

00:37:12.520 torso

00:37:13.120 and

00:37:13.500 head

00:37:13.820 are

00:37:14.100 on

00:37:14.400 the

00:37:14.600 same

00:37:14.940 level

00:37:15.880 that

00:37:16.120 we

00:37:16.240 are

00:37:16.380 parallel

00:37:16.940 literally

00:37:17.740 our

00:37:18.040 bodies

00:37:18.340 are

00:37:18.520 parallel

00:37:18.900 it

00:37:19.740 is

00:37:19.900 easier

00:37:20.220 to

00:37:20.460 open

00:37:20.720 up

00:37:20.880 to

00:37:21.040 someone

00:37:21.360 when

00:37:21.880 we

00:37:22.040 are

00:37:22.200 physically

00:37:22.820 on

00:37:23.160 the

00:37:23.300 same

00:37:23.500 line

00:37:23.820 there's

00:37:29.200 in a

00:37:29.420 car

00:37:29.660 you'll

00:37:30.140 notice

00:37:30.340 people

00:37:30.520 will

00:37:30.700 often

00:37:30.960 open

00:37:31.220 up

00:37:31.480 next

00:37:32.200 to

00:37:32.300 each

00:37:32.400 other

00:37:32.640 sitting

00:37:33.480 at

00:37:33.620 a

00:37:33.740 bar

00:37:34.000 you'll

00:37:34.500 often

00:37:34.740 notice

00:37:35.120 that

00:37:35.380 especially

00:37:35.960 men

00:37:36.320 they'll

00:37:36.580 open

00:37:37.000 up

00:37:37.160 sitting

00:37:37.500 next

00:37:37.680 to

00:37:37.760 each

00:37:37.860 other

00:37:37.980 at

00:37:38.080 a

00:37:38.120 bar

00:37:38.220 or

00:37:38.760 walking

00:37:39.160 together

00:37:39.560 deep

00:37:40.080 long

00:37:40.340 walks

00:37:40.620 on

00:37:40.720 the

00:37:40.840 beach

00:37:41.040 people

00:37:41.260 will

00:37:41.420 open

00:37:41.600 each

00:37:41.740 other

00:37:41.900 why

00:37:42.500 sometimes

00:37:43.920 when

00:37:44.660 we're

00:37:44.860 feeling

00:37:45.320 like

00:37:45.800 we

00:37:45.900 want

00:37:46.040 to

00:37:46.140 talk

00:37:46.300 about

00:37:46.480 something

00:37:46.800 deep

00:37:47.280 or

00:37:48.160 vulnerable

00:37:48.960 fronting

00:37:50.320 is

00:37:50.540 too

00:37:50.780 much

00:37:51.140 it's

00:37:52.280 like

00:37:52.520 whoa

00:37:52.920 you know

00:37:59.200 it's

00:37:59.420 funny

00:37:59.700 you know

00:37:59.940 she'll

00:38:00.240 tell me

00:38:00.720 a lot

00:38:01.240 from

00:38:01.460 the

00:38:01.640 backseat

00:38:02.120 of

00:38:02.220 the

00:38:02.320 car

00:38:02.580 when

00:38:02.800 we

00:38:02.920 are

00:38:03.040 the

00:38:03.240 opposite

00:38:03.600 of

00:38:03.800 fronting

00:38:04.160 because

00:38:04.880 I

00:38:05.040 think

00:38:05.420 like

00:38:06.040 she

00:38:06.220 can

00:38:06.400 say

00:38:06.680 something

00:38:07.000 without

00:38:07.400 me

00:38:08.340 fully

00:38:09.020 you know

00:38:09.760 looking

00:38:10.000 at

00:38:10.140 every

00:38:10.360 single

00:38:10.620 cue

00:38:10.980 so

00:38:11.840 again

00:38:12.440 there's

00:38:12.640 always

00:38:12.860 too

00:38:13.040 much

00:38:13.200 of

00:38:13.320 a

00:38:13.380 good

00:38:13.500 thing

00:38:13.800 sometimes

00:38:14.800 with

00:38:15.200 fronting

00:38:15.540 it

00:38:15.680 can

00:38:15.780 be

00:38:15.900 too

00:38:16.080 much

00:38:16.420 and

00:38:17.020 so

00:38:17.140 if

00:38:17.260 you

00:38:17.380 want

00:38:17.640 someone

00:38:17.880 to

00:38:18.020 open

00:38:18.240 up

00:38:18.400 to

00:38:18.580 you

00:38:18.720 start

00:38:19.020 with

00:38:19.200 that

00:38:19.420 but

00:38:19.600 if

00:38:29.200 mission

00:38:29.560 to

00:38:30.020 feel

00:38:30.160 they

00:38:30.280 can

00:38:30.380 open

00:38:30.580 up

00:38:30.740 without

00:38:30.920 being

00:38:31.140 judged

00:38:31.560 so

00:38:34.100 if

00:38:35.800 you're

00:38:36.580 facing

00:38:38.380 each

00:38:38.640 other

00:38:38.840 front

00:38:39.120 to

00:38:39.300 front

00:38:39.580 that

00:38:41.540 maximizes

00:38:42.520 the

00:38:42.880 possibility

00:38:43.460 of

00:38:43.720 self

00:38:43.980 consciousness

00:38:44.560 right

00:38:45.660 because

00:38:46.040 I

00:38:46.960 know

00:38:47.200 that

00:38:47.440 you're

00:38:47.720 looking

00:38:48.060 at

00:38:48.240 me

00:38:48.380 completely

00:38:48.840 and

00:38:49.100 you

00:38:49.240 can

00:38:49.380 evaluate

00:38:49.780 me

00:38:50.240 and

00:38:50.960 so

00:38:51.360 the

00:38:52.820 circumstances

00:38:53.600 where

00:38:54.000 with

00:38:54.260 your

00:38:54.440 daughter

00:38:54.840 she's

00:38:55.480 in

00:38:55.600 the

00:38:55.720 back

00:38:55.980 seat

00:38:56.360 she

00:38:57.560 I

00:38:59.200 guess

00:38:59.400 you're

00:38:59.600 doing

00:38:59.800 her

00:38:59.960 a

00:39:00.140 favor

00:39:00.380 in

00:39:00.600 that

00:39:00.760 situation

00:39:01.280 by

00:39:01.700 removing

00:39:03.720 the

00:39:04.140 pressure

00:39:04.580 of

00:39:04.820 your

00:39:04.980 gaze

00:39:05.540 that's

00:39:06.840 what

00:39:07.000 Freud

00:39:07.340 did

00:39:07.740 you know

00:39:08.240 in

00:39:09.040 his

00:39:09.340 famous

00:39:09.900 therapy

00:39:12.060 sessions

00:39:12.580 so

00:39:13.640 he

00:39:14.500 sat

00:39:15.040 to

00:39:15.260 the

00:39:15.480 side

00:39:15.860 his

00:39:16.520 patients

00:39:17.020 would

00:39:17.400 often

00:39:18.580 lay

00:39:18.860 down

00:39:19.220 Freud's

00:39:19.820 famous

00:39:20.160 couch

00:39:20.460 and he

00:39:20.780 sat

00:39:21.020 to

00:39:21.200 the

00:39:21.380 side

00:39:21.760 and

00:39:22.720 the

00:39:22.820 reason

00:39:23.040 he

00:39:23.200 did

00:39:23.380 that

00:39:23.660 was

00:39:23.860 because

00:39:24.120 he

00:39:24.280 wanted

00:39:24.480 them

00:39:24.940 to

00:39:25.080 be

00:39:25.200 able

00:39:25.340 to

00:39:25.520 speak

00:39:25.820 freely

00:39:26.320 without

00:39:28.880 mirroring

00:39:30.840 anything

00:39:31.560 that he

00:39:32.240 was

00:39:32.440 broadcasting

00:39:33.200 so

00:39:34.620 maybe

00:39:34.960 it's

00:39:35.240 the

00:39:35.420 situation

00:39:35.960 that

00:39:36.420 if

00:39:38.300 the

00:39:38.640 purpose

00:39:39.000 of

00:39:39.220 the

00:39:39.380 conversation

00:39:39.800 is

00:39:40.260 for

00:39:40.440 the

00:39:40.580 other

00:39:40.760 person

00:39:41.120 to

00:39:41.360 reveal

00:39:41.780 themselves

00:39:42.480 the

00:39:43.580 rules

00:39:43.900 are

00:39:44.100 different

00:39:44.460 than

00:39:44.780 they

00:39:45.660 are

00:39:45.900 when

00:39:46.180 the

00:39:46.400 purpose

00:39:46.800 is

00:39:47.200 mutual

00:39:48.240 and

00:39:48.560 reciprocal

00:39:49.020 exchange

00:39:49.740 of

00:39:49.920 information

00:39:50.500 so

00:39:52.260 I

00:39:52.860 wonder

00:39:53.020 if

00:39:53.180 that's

00:39:53.440 true

00:39:53.780 I

00:39:54.240 I

00:39:54.800 mean

00:39:54.920 look

00:39:55.100 account

00:39:55.360 for

00:39:55.560 what

00:39:55.720 you

00:39:55.860 just

00:39:56.080 described

00:39:56.720 I

00:39:57.460 don't

00:39:58.100 want

00:39:58.240 to

00:39:58.320 make

00:39:58.460 a

00:39:58.560 hard

00:39:58.720 and

00:39:58.840 fast

00:39:59.080 rule

00:39:59.340 because

00:39:59.660 yes

00:40:01.080 of

00:40:01.360 course

00:40:01.640 I

00:40:01.820 want

00:40:02.000 someone

00:40:02.180 to

00:40:02.320 feel

00:40:02.440 comfortable

00:40:02.860 sharing

00:40:03.760 something

00:40:04.080 vulnerable

00:40:04.560 but

00:40:05.220 I

00:40:05.420 also

00:40:05.880 want

00:40:06.820 someone

00:40:07.060 to

00:40:07.200 share

00:40:07.340 with

00:40:07.480 me

00:40:07.580 where

00:40:07.720 I

00:40:07.860 can

00:40:08.020 read

00:40:08.260 their

00:40:08.440 micro

00:40:08.720 expressions

00:40:09.200 where

00:40:10.160 I

00:40:10.340 can

00:40:10.620 take

00:40:11.860 a

00:40:12.620 pulse

00:40:13.320 of

00:40:13.520 how

00:40:13.700 they're

00:40:13.900 doing

00:40:14.160 non

00:40:14.400 verbally

00:40:14.680 so

00:40:15.060 there's

00:40:16.040 no

00:40:16.240 hard

00:40:16.480 and

00:40:16.600 fast

00:40:16.880 rule

00:40:17.100 here

00:40:17.340 it

00:40:17.460 depends

00:40:17.680 on

00:40:17.780 what

00:40:17.860 your

00:40:17.980 goals

00:40:18.220 are

00:40:18.380 Freud's

00:40:18.920 goal

00:40:19.260 was

00:40:20.120 to

00:40:20.300 let

00:40:20.540 people

00:40:20.860 free

00:40:21.160 associate

00:40:21.540 to

00:40:22.260 let

00:40:22.400 them

00:40:22.540 open

00:40:22.860 up

00:40:23.080 without

00:40:23.280 judgment

00:40:23.620 and

00:40:24.160 to

00:40:24.620 not

00:40:24.800 bond

00:40:25.040 with

00:40:25.180 him

00:40:25.360 he

00:40:26.760 didn't

00:40:27.260 need

00:40:27.700 the

00:40:27.840 oxyocin

00:40:28.260 for

00:40:28.440 himself

00:40:28.960 he

00:40:29.660 needed

00:40:29.920 them

00:40:30.180 to

00:40:30.360 be

00:40:30.600 focused

00:40:31.200 and

00:40:31.460 just

00:40:31.740 free

00:40:32.080 associating

00:40:32.740 that's

00:40:33.300 a

00:40:33.440 very

00:40:33.640 different

00:40:33.940 goal

00:40:34.320 versus

00:40:35.160 with

00:40:35.620 my

00:40:35.800 daughter

00:40:36.100 sometimes

00:40:36.480 I

00:40:36.740 do

00:40:36.920 just

00:40:37.100 want

00:40:37.260 her

00:40:37.360 to

00:40:37.480 free

00:40:37.640 associate

00:40:37.980 and

00:40:38.240 just

00:40:38.400 tell

00:40:38.620 it

00:40:38.740 all

00:40:38.860 to

00:40:39.040 me

00:40:39.220 but

00:40:39.640 there

00:40:39.780 are

00:40:39.880 times

00:40:40.220 where

00:40:40.380 I'm

00:40:40.680 wanting

00:40:41.160 to

00:40:41.280 talk

00:40:41.420 to

00:40:41.520 her

00:40:41.620 and

00:40:41.700 I

00:40:41.920 want

00:40:42.160 to

00:40:42.300 see

00:40:42.680 is

00:40:43.200 her

00:40:43.360 face

00:40:43.660 sad

00:40:44.100 you

00:40:44.800 know

00:40:44.880 is

00:40:45.060 she

00:40:45.220 blocking

00:40:45.680 is

00:40:46.380 she

00:40:46.560 distancing

00:40:47.080 from

00:40:47.380 me

00:40:47.500 is

00:40:47.640 she

00:40:47.740 all

00:40:47.920 of

00:40:48.020 a

00:40:48.060 sudden

00:40:48.220 leaning

00:40:48.680 back

00:40:49.040 that's

00:40:49.620 going

00:40:49.720 to

00:40:49.800 give

00:40:49.960 me

00:40:50.080 more

00:40:50.300 nuance

00:40:50.740 so

00:40:51.100 I

00:40:51.960 don't

00:40:52.120 think

00:40:52.260 we

00:40:52.340 can

00:40:52.440 have

00:40:52.560 a

00:40:52.640 hard

00:40:52.780 and

00:40:52.880 fast

00:40:53.060 rule

00:40:53.280 but

00:40:53.440 what

00:40:53.560 we

00:40:53.680 can

00:40:54.000 know

00:40:54.260 is

00:40:54.440 that

00:40:54.560 our

00:40:54.760 cues

00:40:55.240 are

00:40:55.760 changing

00:40:56.220 how

00:40:56.460 people

00:40:56.740 treat

00:40:57.060 us

00:40:57.440 our

00:41:09.220 and

00:41:09.780 I

00:41:09.840 think

00:41:09.960 if

00:41:10.080 you're

00:41:10.200 aware

00:41:10.440 of

00:41:10.600 that

00:41:10.700 you

00:41:10.840 can

00:41:11.040 choose

00:41:11.540 your

00:41:11.820 cues

00:41:12.280 based

00:41:12.600 on

00:41:12.800 your

00:41:12.940 context

00:41:13.280 and

00:41:13.440 your

00:41:13.560 goals

00:41:13.860 so

00:41:15.160 if

00:41:15.420 you're

00:41:15.660 in

00:41:15.840 a

00:41:16.100 job

00:41:17.080 interview

00:41:17.580 and

00:41:19.320 you're

00:41:19.580 using

00:41:20.080 the

00:41:21.560 immature

00:41:21.980 strategies

00:41:22.600 that we

00:41:23.040 described

00:41:23.620 like

00:41:24.140 a

00:41:24.320 pray

00:41:24.540 posture

00:41:25.120 up

00:41:26.020 talk

00:41:26.420 too

00:41:27.460 much

00:41:27.700 smiling

00:41:28.200 what

00:41:30.160 I

00:41:30.400 think

00:41:30.660 what

00:41:30.840 you're

00:41:31.040 doing

00:41:31.280 is

00:41:31.500 you're

00:41:31.740 there

00:41:31.960 as

00:41:32.180 a

00:41:32.360 supplicant

00:41:32.940 and

00:41:33.960 you're

00:41:34.160 asking

00:41:34.560 the

00:41:34.860 dominant

00:41:35.340 primate

00:41:36.360 to

00:41:37.360 be

00:41:38.400 quest

00:41:38.980 something

00:41:39.460 to

00:41:39.720 you

00:41:39.980 it's

00:41:40.620 a

00:41:40.820 favour

00:41:41.180 so

00:41:42.400 you're

00:41:42.820 using

00:41:43.300 signals

00:41:44.600 of

00:41:44.820 immaturity

00:41:45.480 to

00:41:46.300 curry

00:41:46.760 favour

00:41:47.320 with

00:41:48.120 someone

00:41:48.400 who's

00:41:48.660 dominant

00:41:49.100 now

00:41:49.860 the

00:41:50.060 disadvantage

00:41:50.460 to

00:41:50.860 that

00:41:51.120 is

00:41:51.300 that

00:41:51.580 that

00:41:53.100 puts

00:41:53.360 you

00:41:53.480 in a

00:41:53.680 subordinate

00:41:54.040 position

00:41:54.640 and

00:41:55.440 that can

00:41:56.560 be a

00:41:56.840 major

00:41:57.060 disadvantage

00:41:57.720 that's

00:41:58.820 a lot

00:41:59.120 different

00:41:59.600 attitude

00:42:00.820 than

00:42:01.400 a

00:42:02.600 job

00:42:02.880 interview

00:42:03.260 where

00:42:04.260 your

00:42:04.700 goal

00:42:04.980 is

00:42:05.200 to

00:42:05.460 portray

00:42:06.020 your

00:42:07.280 competence

00:42:08.060 now

00:42:09.360 we

00:42:09.620 could

00:42:09.780 think

00:42:10.880 a

00:42:11.060 little

00:42:11.200 bit

00:42:11.360 about

00:42:11.620 the

00:42:11.840 different

00:42:12.420 approaches

00:42:13.040 there

00:42:13.400 because

00:42:13.820 if

00:42:14.960 you're

00:42:15.160 the

00:42:15.360 supplicant

00:42:15.940 asking

00:42:16.340 for

00:42:16.660 a

00:42:16.840 favour

00:42:17.180 you're

00:42:19.920 not

00:42:20.140 bringing

00:42:20.520 anything

00:42:20.920 to the

00:42:21.380 table

00:42:21.800 except

00:42:22.800 the

00:42:23.320 potentially

00:42:24.840 implicit

00:42:25.400 promise

00:42:25.940 that you

00:42:26.440 would

00:42:26.680 return

00:42:27.180 the

00:42:27.480 favour

00:42:27.900 right

00:42:29.740 and

00:42:30.040 so

00:42:30.400 the

00:42:31.320 job

00:42:32.600 that

00:42:32.800 you're

00:42:32.980 being

00:42:33.180 offered

00:42:33.460 or the

00:42:33.760 raise

00:42:34.640 or the

00:42:34.960 promotion

00:42:35.540 that's

00:42:36.980 now

00:42:37.180 a

00:42:37.400 favour

00:42:37.800 whereas

00:42:38.740 if

00:42:39.000 you

00:42:39.360 configure

00:42:40.480 your

00:42:40.840 attitude

00:42:41.220 to

00:42:42.360 indicate

00:42:42.780 competence

00:42:43.560 what

00:42:44.680 you're

00:42:44.900 doing

00:42:45.160 is

00:42:45.400 signalling

00:42:45.840 to

00:42:46.040 the

00:42:46.180 person

00:42:46.460 that

00:42:46.640 you're

00:42:46.780 talking

00:42:47.120 to

00:42:47.360 that

00:42:47.620 you

00:42:48.020 have

00:42:48.360 something

00:42:48.760 of

00:42:48.960 value

00:42:49.240 to

00:42:49.460 bring

00:42:49.660 to

00:42:49.800 the

00:42:49.960 table

00:42:50.280 and

00:42:51.120 that

00:42:51.260 it

00:42:51.340 would

00:42:51.440 actually

00:42:51.760 be

00:42:52.000 in

00:42:52.220 their

00:42:52.600 interest

00:42:53.120 to

00:42:53.600 offer

00:42:55.960 you

00:42:56.200 what

00:42:56.440 it

00:42:56.560 is

00:42:56.740 that

00:42:56.940 you

00:42:57.140 want

00:42:57.620 and

00:42:58.760 it

00:42:59.280 seems

00:42:59.540 to

00:42:59.720 me

00:42:59.880 that

00:43:00.040 that's

00:43:00.280 a

00:43:00.380 much

00:43:00.560 more

00:43:00.800 appropriate

00:43:01.280 and

00:43:02.300 successful

00:43:03.600 negotiating

00:43:05.420 stance

00:43:05.860 unless

00:43:06.140 the

00:43:06.400 person

00:43:06.720 that

00:43:06.960 you're

00:43:07.240 negotiating

00:43:07.800 with

00:43:08.120 is

00:43:09.080 also

00:43:09.400 hyper

00:43:09.800 agreeable

00:43:10.400 and

00:43:10.860 will

00:43:11.120 give

00:43:11.340 it

00:43:11.460 to

00:43:11.560 you

00:43:11.700 just

00:43:11.940 to

00:43:12.420 be

00:43:12.600 liked

00:43:12.940 that's

00:43:13.860 quite

00:43:14.480 unlikely

00:43:15.460 I would

00:43:15.840 say

00:43:16.060 when you're

00:43:16.420 dealing

00:43:16.620 with people

00:43:17.120 who are

00:43:17.660 extremely

00:43:18.700 successful

00:43:19.440 because

00:43:20.340 they either

00:43:22.280 don't need

00:43:22.800 to be

00:43:23.100 liked

00:43:23.360 because they

00:43:23.720 have enough

00:43:24.120 people

00:43:24.440 who like

00:43:24.860 them

00:43:25.040 or they're

00:43:25.360 not

00:43:25.580 temperamentally

00:43:26.240 inclined

00:43:26.680 to go

00:43:27.480 in that

00:43:27.760 direction

00:43:28.240 so

00:43:29.420 what do

00:43:30.660 you think

00:43:31.020 the best

00:43:31.520 signals

00:43:32.120 are

00:43:32.540 when

00:43:33.160 you're

00:43:33.780 negotiating

00:43:34.420 on your

00:43:34.880 own

00:43:35.620 behalf

00:43:36.160 and

00:43:37.260 what

00:43:37.500 mistakes

00:43:38.100 do

00:43:38.320 you

00:43:38.480 see

00:43:38.820 in

00:43:39.460 addition

00:43:39.800 perhaps

00:43:40.320 to

00:43:40.500 the

00:43:40.620 ones

00:43:40.820 that

00:43:40.980 we've

00:43:41.220 been

00:43:41.380 describing

00:43:41.900 yeah

00:43:43.020 well

00:43:43.340 when you're

00:43:44.320 going to

00:43:44.680 interview

00:43:45.000 and you said

00:43:45.540 it I think

00:43:46.000 exactly

00:43:46.480 right

00:43:46.840 is

00:43:47.120 competence

00:43:47.580 is

00:43:48.020 going to

00:43:48.520 be

00:43:48.640 incredibly

00:43:49.020 important

00:43:49.380 for

00:43:49.720 worth

00:43:50.360 and

00:43:50.640 your

00:43:50.800 value

00:43:51.200 right

00:43:51.480 showing

00:43:51.880 I

00:43:52.400 have

00:43:52.680 the

00:43:52.880 skills

00:43:53.360 to

00:43:53.880 bring

00:43:54.020 to

00:43:54.140 this

00:43:54.260 job

00:43:54.460 and

00:43:54.580 we

00:43:54.700 pay

00:43:54.960 for

00:43:55.200 skills

00:43:55.640 but

00:43:56.380 there

00:43:57.240 is

00:43:57.440 a

00:43:57.600 time

00:43:58.500 issue

00:43:58.880 here

00:43:59.220 and

00:43:59.560 the

00:43:59.680 research

00:44:00.020 shows

00:44:00.440 that

00:44:00.760 when

00:44:01.380 we

00:44:01.620 first

00:44:02.160 meet

00:44:03.080 someone

00:44:03.460 we're

00:44:03.880 trying

00:44:04.180 to

00:44:04.380 quickly

00:44:04.660 answer

00:44:05.100 two

00:44:05.420 questions

00:44:06.020 can

00:44:06.660 I

00:44:06.780 trust

00:44:07.080 you

00:44:07.320 and

00:44:07.760 can

00:44:07.920 I

00:44:08.020 rely

00:44:08.240 on

00:44:08.460 you

00:44:08.660 and

00:44:09.500 they're

00:44:09.640 chronological

00:44:10.220 trust

00:44:11.040 goes

00:44:11.400 first

00:44:11.980 reliance

00:44:12.740 goes

00:44:13.060 second

00:44:13.460 so

00:44:14.380 in

00:44:14.620 an

00:44:14.780 interview

00:44:15.040 situation

00:44:15.540 or

00:44:15.900 a

00:44:16.020 date

00:44:16.200 or

00:44:16.400 a

00:44:17.100 meeting

00:44:17.340 you

00:44:18.020 actually

00:44:18.360 want

00:44:18.600 to

00:44:18.700 show

00:44:18.880 trust

00:44:19.360 first

00:44:20.060 high

00:44:20.720 warmth

00:44:21.060 signals

00:44:21.460 in

00:44:21.620 the

00:44:21.780 first

00:44:22.160 minute

00:44:23.180 30

00:44:23.820 seconds

00:44:24.280 so

00:44:24.900 high

00:44:25.240 warmth

00:44:25.580 signals

00:44:25.900 that

00:44:26.040 are

00:44:26.120 good

00:44:26.280 is

00:44:26.440 if

00:44:26.620 you're

00:44:26.780 happy

00:44:27.320 to

00:44:27.460 be

00:44:27.560 there

00:44:27.780 say

00:44:28.040 you're

00:44:28.180 happy

00:44:28.340 to

00:44:28.440 be

00:44:28.520 there

00:44:28.660 I

00:44:28.860 think

00:44:29.040 you

00:44:29.540 mentioned

00:44:29.860 before

00:44:30.260 you

00:44:30.400 get

00:44:30.500 on

00:44:30.640 stage

00:44:30.900 you

00:44:31.380 remind

00:44:31.780 yourself

00:44:32.240 that

00:44:32.440 you're

00:44:32.560 happy

00:44:32.800 to

00:44:32.940 be

00:44:33.040 there

00:44:33.180 that

00:44:33.300 they're

00:44:33.440 on

00:44:33.640 your

00:44:33.780 side

00:44:34.120 incredibly

00:44:35.180 important

00:44:35.720 because

00:44:36.600 exactly

00:44:37.180 you want

00:44:37.500 to be

00:44:37.640 able to

00:44:37.860 say

00:44:38.080 I'm

00:44:38.680 so

00:44:39.000 happy

00:44:39.280 to

00:44:39.380 be

00:44:39.460 here

00:44:39.580 thank

00:44:39.800 you

00:44:39.900 so

00:44:40.020 much

00:44:40.160 for

00:44:40.300 having

00:44:40.520 me

00:44:40.720 great

00:44:41.080 that's

00:44:41.360 a

00:44:41.460 genuine

00:44:41.680 warmth

00:44:42.020 second

00:44:43.100 visible

00:44:43.740 hands

00:44:44.240 and I

00:44:45.060 think

00:44:45.180 this

00:44:45.320 goes

00:44:45.500 back

00:44:45.740 to

00:44:45.980 you

00:44:46.260 know

00:44:46.340 our

00:44:46.500 caveman

00:44:46.960 days

00:44:47.380 right

00:44:47.940 when

00:44:48.080 we

00:44:48.200 were

00:44:48.360 approached

00:44:48.720 by

00:44:48.900 a

00:44:49.040 stranger

00:44:49.280 caveman

00:44:49.780 we

00:44:49.920 wanted

00:44:50.100 to

00:44:50.220 see

00:44:50.320 their

00:44:50.460 intention

00:44:50.880 were

00:44:51.080 they

00:44:51.180 carrying

00:44:51.440 a

00:44:51.580 rock

00:44:51.780 or

00:44:51.900 a

00:44:52.040 spear

00:44:52.240 so

00:44:52.840 I

00:44:53.040 recommend

00:44:53.500 everyone

00:44:54.140 have

00:44:54.840 open

00:44:55.180 palms

00:44:55.800 upon

00:44:56.920 first

00:44:57.260 greeting

00:44:57.580 so you

00:44:58.260 walk

00:44:58.440 into

00:44:58.600 the

00:44:58.760 room

00:44:58.960 or

00:44:59.060 you

00:44:59.140 hop

00:44:59.320 on

00:44:59.480 video

00:44:59.820 nice

00:45:00.440 to

00:45:00.600 see

00:45:00.800 you

00:45:01.600 good

00:45:01.920 morning

00:45:02.320 oh

00:45:02.900 so

00:45:03.120 good

00:45:03.280 to

00:45:03.420 see

00:45:03.560 you

00:45:03.680 and

00:45:03.760 you

00:45:03.900 reach

00:45:04.060 out

00:45:04.200 for

00:45:04.300 the

00:45:04.420 handshake

00:45:04.800 if

00:45:04.940 you're

00:45:05.040 in

00:45:05.140 person

00:45:05.440 open

00:45:06.360 palm

00:45:06.720 literally

00:45:07.320 shows

00:45:07.760 it

00:45:07.940 signals

00:45:08.240 the

00:45:08.360 person's

00:45:08.760 brain

00:45:08.940 I

00:45:09.160 am

00:45:09.280 not

00:45:09.440 hiding

00:45:09.740 anything

00:45:10.060 there's

00:45:10.300 a

00:45:10.400 reason

00:45:10.600 why

00:45:10.780 we

00:45:10.920 say

00:45:11.080 get

00:45:11.260 your

00:45:11.380 hands

00:45:11.660 up

00:45:11.920 palms

00:45:12.700 show

00:45:13.000 intention

00:45:13.460 so

00:45:13.740 first

00:45:14.240 few

00:45:14.380 seconds

00:45:14.640 you're

00:45:14.960 greeting

00:45:15.200 with

00:45:15.360 an

00:45:15.460 open

00:45:15.660 palm

00:45:16.040 and

00:45:16.340 ideally

00:45:16.720 a

00:45:16.920 handshake

00:45:17.320 if

00:45:17.460 you're

00:45:17.560 in

00:45:17.680 person

00:45:17.940 that

00:45:18.200 physical

00:45:18.780 touch

00:45:19.080 is

00:45:19.180 a

00:45:19.220 way

00:45:19.280 we

00:45:19.380 produce

00:45:19.560 oxytocin

00:45:20.120 second

00:45:21.060 if

00:45:21.360 you

00:45:21.480 feel

00:45:21.700 happy

00:45:22.060 smiling

00:45:22.820 that's

00:45:23.280 a

00:45:23.440 nice

00:45:23.840 warmth

00:45:24.100 cute

00:45:24.360 if

00:45:24.720 you

00:45:24.840 feel

00:45:25.000 happy

00:45:25.280 third

00:45:26.180 you're

00:45:26.460 engaging

00:45:26.880 in

00:45:27.020 eye

00:45:27.180 contact

00:45:27.520 to

00:45:27.760 produce

00:45:27.960 that

00:45:28.100 oxytocin

00:45:28.680 okay

00:45:29.040 warmth

00:45:29.600 got it

00:45:30.320 right

00:45:30.680 like

00:45:30.840 that's

00:45:31.200 gonna

00:45:31.300 set

00:45:31.600 the

00:45:31.800 stage

00:45:32.100 for

00:45:32.400 you

00:45:32.940 can

00:45:33.120 trust

00:45:33.380 me

00:45:33.540 I'm

00:45:33.680 not

00:45:33.820 hiding

00:45:34.060 anything

00:45:34.420 just

00:45:34.820 from

00:45:35.060 an

00:45:35.200 innate

00:45:35.440 perspective

00:45:35.920 then

00:45:36.860 you

00:45:37.060 want

00:45:37.200 to

00:45:37.280 go

00:45:37.400 into

00:45:37.580 reliance

00:45:38.140 and

00:45:38.840 there's

00:45:39.360 this

00:45:39.500 weird

00:45:40.060 I'll

00:45:41.280 even

00:45:41.420 say

00:45:41.600 potentially

00:45:42.100 awkward

00:45:42.660 few

00:45:43.500 minutes

00:45:43.900 in

00:45:44.320 every

00:45:44.560 interaction

00:45:45.020 especially

00:45:45.400 interview

00:45:45.820 where

00:45:46.320 you're

00:45:46.520 transitioning

00:45:47.160 from

00:45:47.960 warmth

00:45:48.300 to

00:45:48.580 competence

00:45:49.080 and

00:45:50.000 that

00:45:50.260 is

00:45:50.480 called

00:45:50.700 small

00:45:50.980 talk

00:45:51.320 this

00:45:52.600 is

00:45:52.780 why

00:45:53.080 there

00:45:53.340 are

00:45:53.500 books

00:45:53.800 written

00:45:54.220 about

00:45:54.540 small

00:45:54.800 talk

00:45:55.080 is

00:45:55.260 because

00:45:55.600 it

00:45:56.140 is

00:45:56.300 very

00:45:56.700 hard

00:45:57.200 to

00:45:57.640 go

00:45:57.840 from

00:45:58.200 oh

00:45:58.760 it's

00:45:58.940 so

00:45:59.080 good

00:45:59.240 to

00:45:59.400 see

00:45:59.560 you

00:45:59.700 thanks

00:45:59.920 so

00:46:00.080 much

00:46:00.200 for

00:46:00.340 having

00:46:00.580 me

00:46:00.780 tell

00:46:01.020 me

00:46:01.140 your

00:46:01.260 greatest

00:46:01.480 strengths

00:46:01.880 like

00:46:03.520 that

00:46:04.080 gap

00:46:05.020 is

00:46:05.420 quite

00:46:05.660 hard

00:46:05.900 so

00:46:06.120 to

00:46:06.680 be

00:46:06.900 highly

00:46:07.260 charismatic

00:46:07.660 I

00:46:08.700 think

00:46:09.000 that

00:46:09.220 you

00:46:09.460 should

00:46:09.620 be

00:46:09.780 assertive

00:46:10.320 with

00:46:10.740 that

00:46:11.020 transition

00:46:11.640 that's

00:46:12.240 what

00:46:12.360 I

00:46:12.640 teach

00:46:13.600 okay

00:46:14.420 to

00:46:14.760 be

00:46:14.900 assertive

00:46:15.360 we're

00:46:15.800 going

00:46:15.880 to

00:46:16.000 break

00:46:16.240 a

00:46:16.360 social

00:46:16.640 script

00:46:17.040 this

00:46:17.500 is

00:46:17.600 one

00:46:17.840 way

00:46:18.000 that

00:46:18.100 we

00:46:18.220 signal

00:46:18.500 both

00:46:18.820 warmth

00:46:19.080 and

00:46:19.220 competence

00:46:19.660 do

00:46:20.300 not

00:46:20.760 say

00:46:21.520 how

00:46:22.000 are

00:46:22.200 you

00:46:22.420 do

00:46:24.440 not

00:46:24.620 say

00:46:24.820 how's

00:46:25.140 it

00:46:25.220 been

00:46:25.360 going

00:46:25.680 I

00:46:26.780 can

00:46:26.960 tell

00:46:27.200 you

00:46:27.420 you

00:46:27.700 will

00:46:27.860 socially

00:46:28.300 script

00:46:28.640 them

00:46:28.920 you

00:46:29.800 engage

00:46:30.420 the

00:46:30.600 brain

00:46:30.900 in

00:46:31.140 this

00:46:31.380 is

00:46:31.500 an

00:46:31.620 autopilot

00:46:32.160 interaction

00:46:32.680 so

00:46:32.900 if

00:46:33.000 you

00:46:33.100 ask

00:46:33.440 your

00:46:33.620 interviewer

00:46:34.120 so

00:46:34.560 how

00:46:34.760 are

00:46:34.980 you

00:46:35.160 and

00:46:35.580 they

00:46:35.720 say

00:46:35.920 oh

00:46:36.200 good

00:46:37.480 busy

00:46:38.000 but

00:46:38.280 good

00:46:38.680 yeah

00:46:40.280 you've

00:46:41.360 just

00:46:41.560 shown

00:46:41.960 them

00:46:42.160 that

00:46:42.320 this

00:46:42.500 is

00:46:42.620 going

00:46:42.740 to

00:46:42.780 be

00:46:42.880 like

00:46:43.020 every

00:46:43.220 other

00:46:43.380 interview

00:46:43.700 and

00:46:44.540 part

00:46:44.900 of

00:46:44.980 this

00:46:45.120 is

00:46:45.240 like

00:46:45.380 breaking

00:46:45.680 those

00:46:45.920 scripts

00:46:46.160 so

00:46:46.440 do

00:46:47.000 not

00:46:47.160 ask

00:46:47.400 that

00:46:47.620 you're

00:46:47.860 going

00:46:47.940 to

00:46:48.040 ask

00:46:48.320 for

00:46:48.540 a

00:46:48.780 positive

00:46:49.320 primer

00:46:49.820 you're

00:46:50.060 going

00:46:50.240 to

00:46:50.400 try

00:46:50.560 to

00:46:50.720 cue

00:46:51.260 with

00:46:51.500 something

00:46:51.860 positive

00:46:52.360 borrow

00:46:52.840 excitement

00:46:53.580 from other

00:46:53.860 areas

00:46:54.120 of their

00:46:54.320 life

00:46:54.540 so

00:46:54.680 you

00:46:54.800 can

00:46:54.960 ask

00:46:55.420 what's

00:46:57.040 good

00:46:57.160 today

00:46:57.460 what's

00:46:58.700 good

00:46:58.820 today

00:46:59.080 is

00:46:59.260 a

00:46:59.420 very

00:47:00.220 subtle

00:47:00.620 shift

00:47:01.080 it

00:47:01.340 makes

00:47:01.600 other

00:47:01.760 person

00:47:01.960 go

00:47:02.120 oh

00:47:02.480 what's

00:47:03.400 good

00:47:03.580 today

00:47:03.900 you

00:47:04.500 have

00:47:04.680 just

00:47:04.880 changed

00:47:05.380 their

00:47:05.700 thinking

00:47:05.940 pattern

00:47:06.280 from

00:47:07.340 wherever

00:47:07.680 they

00:47:07.900 were

00:47:08.080 before

00:47:08.440 their

00:47:08.660 inbox

00:47:09.140 their

00:47:09.340 tasks

00:47:09.880 to

00:47:10.280 good

00:47:10.660 good

00:47:10.940 good

00:47:11.360 good

00:47:11.660 good

00:47:11.880 good

00:47:12.060 good

00:47:12.240 good

00:47:12.500 that

00:47:13.360 is

00:47:13.540 going

00:47:13.760 to

00:47:14.040 make

00:47:14.520 them

00:47:14.720 more

00:47:14.880 optimistic

00:47:15.320 it

00:47:15.640 also

00:47:15.880 allows

00:47:16.280 you

00:47:16.400 to

00:47:16.540 talk

00:47:16.740 about

00:47:16.940 good

00:47:17.160 things

00:47:17.480 which

00:47:17.720 is

00:47:17.860 much

00:47:18.180 better

00:47:18.380 for

00:47:18.600 warmth

00:47:18.960 right

00:47:19.660 so

00:47:20.460 you're

00:47:20.600 going

00:47:20.660 to

00:47:20.680 ask

00:47:20.880 what's

00:47:21.100 good

00:47:21.280 you

00:47:21.440 could

00:47:21.580 also

00:47:21.860 ask

00:47:22.180 you

00:47:22.280 know

00:47:22.420 have

00:47:23.120 any

00:47:23.260 fun

00:47:23.440 plans

00:47:23.760 for

00:47:23.900 the

00:47:23.980 weekend

00:47:24.300 do

00:47:24.580 anything

00:47:24.780 fun

00:47:25.020 this

00:47:25.180 past

00:47:25.460 weekend

00:47:25.860 right

00:47:26.420 I

00:47:26.960 have

00:47:27.120 a

00:47:27.360 little

00:47:28.000 joke

00:47:28.380 that

00:47:28.560 I

00:47:28.640 like

00:47:28.800 to

00:47:28.920 share

00:47:29.100 that

00:47:29.280 is

00:47:29.440 useful

00:47:29.800 where

00:47:30.020 on

00:47:30.260 Mondays

00:47:30.620 and

00:47:30.800 Tuesdays

00:47:31.480 you

00:47:31.960 can

00:47:32.120 ask

00:47:32.300 everyone

00:47:32.640 you

00:47:32.860 meet

00:47:33.160 do

00:47:33.760 anything

00:47:34.060 fun

00:47:34.340 and

00:47:34.460 exciting

00:47:34.760 this

00:47:34.960 past

00:47:35.180 weekend

00:47:35.520 on

00:47:36.500 Thursdays

00:47:36.980 and

00:47:37.100 Fridays

00:47:37.400 you

00:47:37.800 can

00:47:37.920 ask

00:47:38.200 have

00:47:38.700 any

00:47:38.840 fun

00:47:39.000 and

00:47:39.120 exciting

00:47:39.380 plans

00:47:39.760 this

00:47:40.120 upcoming

00:47:40.420 weekend

00:47:40.800 on

00:47:41.440 Wednesdays

00:47:41.960 you

00:47:42.020 just

00:47:42.160 don't

00:47:42.320 talk

00:47:42.520 to

00:47:42.620 anyone

00:47:42.940 works

00:47:43.920 great

00:47:44.360 so

00:47:46.140 or

00:47:46.520 you

00:47:46.660 could

00:47:46.780 ask

00:47:46.980 have

00:47:47.240 any

00:47:47.360 fun

00:47:47.520 exciting

00:47:47.900 plans

00:47:48.120 this

00:47:48.260 week

00:47:48.400 so

00:47:48.860 you're

00:47:49.040 breaking

00:47:49.280 the

00:47:49.440 script

00:47:49.700 which

00:47:50.380 creates

00:47:50.600 a

00:47:50.700 little

00:47:50.800 bit

00:47:50.940 of

00:47:51.100 warmth

00:47:59.100 tell me

00:47:59.560 about

00:47:59.720 your

00:47:59.920 week

00:48:00.240 you

00:48:01.000 should

00:48:01.200 be

00:48:01.380 ready

00:48:01.600 to

00:48:01.820 go

00:48:02.140 with

00:48:02.460 a

00:48:02.640 story

00:48:03.040 that

00:48:03.760 shows

00:48:04.020 a little

00:48:04.200 bit

00:48:04.320 about

00:48:04.460 your

00:48:04.580 behavior

00:48:04.940 that

00:48:05.660 transitions

00:48:06.180 into

00:48:06.560 your

00:48:06.820 prep

00:48:07.180 for

00:48:07.460 the

00:48:07.620 interview

00:48:08.060 right

00:48:08.820 like

00:48:09.060 prep

00:48:09.460 is

00:48:09.640 a

00:48:09.800 competence

00:48:10.320 cue

00:48:10.620 and

00:48:11.420 then

00:48:11.540 we

00:48:11.680 can

00:48:11.820 go

00:48:11.960 into

00:48:12.100 nonverbal

00:48:12.520 competence

00:48:13.040 nonverbal

00:48:13.580 competence

00:48:13.940 is

00:48:14.500 purposeful

00:48:15.420 gestures

00:48:15.780 so

00:48:16.520 no

00:48:17.240 accidentally

00:48:18.380 touching

00:48:18.700 the face

00:48:19.220 we

00:48:20.240 really

00:48:20.420 don't

00:48:20.560 like

00:48:20.740 that

00:48:20.900 there's

00:48:21.220 Cornell

00:48:21.680 research

00:48:22.120 that

00:48:22.320 looked

00:48:22.520 at

00:48:22.760 behaviors

00:48:23.700 that

00:48:24.020 trigger

00:48:24.440 feelings

00:48:24.960 of

00:48:25.400 mistrust

00:48:26.420 what's

00:48:27.400 hard

00:48:27.780 about

00:48:27.940 this

00:48:28.100 research

00:48:28.380 is

00:48:28.480 we

00:48:28.540 have

00:48:28.620 to

00:48:28.680 be

00:48:28.760 very

00:48:28.920 careful

00:48:29.240 these

00:48:30.360 aren't

00:48:30.680 actual

00:48:31.200 cues

00:48:31.520 of

00:48:31.640 deception

00:48:32.000 these

00:48:33.180 are

00:48:33.340 cues

00:48:33.640 that

00:48:33.820 people

00:48:34.140 perceive

00:48:35.240 are

00:48:35.620 deception

00:48:35.960 so

00:48:36.920 if

00:48:37.060 you

00:48:37.220 accidentally

00:48:37.860 do

00:48:38.320 them

00:48:38.620 you

00:48:39.000 are

00:48:39.160 triggering

00:48:39.720 feelings

00:48:40.700 of

00:48:40.860 mistrust

00:48:41.380 they

00:48:41.580 are

00:48:41.900 touching

00:48:42.540 the

00:48:42.700 face

00:48:43.100 touching

00:48:44.500 the

00:48:44.680 body

00:48:45.020 blocking

00:48:46.260 the

00:48:46.480 body

00:48:46.800 or

00:48:47.920 distancing

00:48:48.560 leaning

00:48:49.220 away

00:48:49.540 or

00:48:49.680 leaning

00:48:49.900 back

00:48:50.300 those

00:48:51.100 behaviors

00:48:51.580 they

00:48:51.880 tend

00:48:52.160 to

00:48:52.320 feel

00:48:52.840 like

00:48:53.020 disengagement

00:48:53.540 people

00:48:53.720 don't

00:48:53.900 like

00:48:54.100 them

00:48:54.300 so

00:48:54.520 you

00:48:54.680 want

00:48:54.840 to

00:48:56.420 things

00:48:56.740 you

00:48:57.380 are

00:48:57.460 still

00:48:57.780 unless

00:48:58.060 you

00:48:58.180 are

00:48:58.220 using

00:48:58.400 explanatory

00:48:58.940 gestures

00:48:59.360 you

00:49:00.220 are

00:49:00.280 not

00:49:00.480 doing

00:49:00.700 any

00:49:00.960 kind

00:49:01.220 of

00:49:01.340 self

00:49:01.580 touch

00:49:01.960 self

00:49:02.440 touch

00:49:02.680 is

00:49:02.800 either

00:49:02.980 a

00:49:03.140 flirtatious

00:49:03.740 courtship

00:49:04.240 behavior

00:49:04.660 or

00:49:05.140 it's

00:49:05.300 an

00:49:05.420 anxious

00:49:05.700 self

00:49:06.120 soothing

00:49:06.440 behavior

00:49:06.880 pacifying

00:49:07.520 behavior

00:49:07.960 you

00:49:08.640 want

00:49:08.800 to

00:49:08.880 make

00:49:09.020 sure

00:49:09.200 that

00:49:09.360 you

00:49:09.500 are

00:49:09.720 on

00:49:10.720 your

00:49:10.860 plane

00:49:11.200 on

00:49:11.560 your

00:49:11.700 level

00:49:11.920 plane

00:49:12.300 or

00:49:12.540 you

00:49:12.660 leaning

00:49:12.980 in

00:49:13.180 when

00:49:13.280 you

00:49:13.380 feel

00:49:13.560 something

00:49:13.780 important

00:49:14.140 you

00:49:14.340 are

00:49:14.380 not

00:49:14.560 leaning

00:49:14.780 back

00:49:15.140 or

00:49:15.300 taking

00:49:16.040 a

00:49:16.200 step

00:49:16.340 back

00:49:16.680 so

00:49:17.440 in

00:49:26.420 countless

00:49:26.660 hours

00:49:27.060 and

00:49:27.360 dollars

00:49:27.640 on

00:49:27.840 health

00:49:28.040 and

00:49:28.180 beauty

00:49:28.340 products

00:49:28.720 that

00:49:28.900 promise

00:49:29.160 to

00:49:29.280 make

00:49:29.420 you

00:49:29.540 look

00:49:29.760 and

00:49:30.020 feel

00:49:30.200 younger

00:49:30.500 without

00:49:30.780 seeing

00:49:31.060 real

00:49:31.280 results

00:49:31.680 that's

00:49:32.220 where

00:49:32.340 fatty

00:49:32.620 15

00:49:32.960 comes

00:49:33.280 in

00:49:33.500 it's

00:49:33.840 actually

00:49:34.140 the

00:49:34.340 first

00:49:34.520 new

00:49:34.780 essential

00:49:35.240 fatty

00:49:35.560 acid

00:49:35.860 discovered

00:49:36.260 in

00:49:36.500 over

00:49:36.720 90

00:49:37.060 years

00:49:37.400 which

00:49:37.640 is

00:49:37.960 pretty

00:49:38.160 incredible

00:49:38.520 this

00:49:38.940 nutrient

00:49:39.360 called

00:49:39.620 c15

00:49:40.180 strengthens

00:49:40.840 our

00:49:41.000 cells

00:49:41.360 and

00:49:41.680 cellular

00:49:42.000 level

00:49:42.380 and

00:49:42.620 has

00:49:42.780 three

00:49:42.980 times

00:49:43.240 more

00:49:43.440 cellular

00:49:43.740 benefits

00:49:44.240 than

00:49:44.440 omega-3

00:49:45.060 or

00:49:45.360 fish

00:49:45.640 oils

00:49:45.900 what's

00:49:46.380 really

00:49:46.700 interesting

00:49:47.100 is

00:49:47.280 that

00:49:47.400 up

00:49:47.580 to

00:49:47.700 one

00:49:47.880 in

00:49:47.960 three

00:49:48.080 people

00:49:48.340 might

00:49:48.600 be

00:49:48.760 deficient

00:49:49.200 in

00:49:49.380 c15

00:49:49.840 which

00:49:50.360 can

00:49:50.520 cause

00:49:50.800 something

00:49:51.080 called

00:49:51.300 cellular

00:49:51.660 fragility

00:49:52.160 syndrome

00:49:52.560 basically

00:49:53.200 when

00:49:53.500 our

00:49:53.640 cells

00:49:53.780 become

00:49:54.040 fragile

00:49:54.460 and

00:49:54.700 age

00:49:55.060 even

00:49:55.340 faster

00:49:55.780 when

00:49:56.100 our

00:49:56.240 cells

00:49:56.480 don't

00:49:56.740 have

00:49:56.960 enough

00:49:57.120 c15

00:49:57.580 they

00:49:57.880 break

00:49:58.140 down

00:49:58.340 more

00:49:58.520 quickly

00:49:58.860 and

00:49:59.240 since

00:49:59.480 our

00:49:59.640 cells

00:49:59.820 age

00:50:00.240 our

00:50:00.500 bodies

00:50:00.740 do

00:50:00.900 too

00:50:01.140 the

00:50:01.400 good

00:50:01.600 news

00:50:01.800 is

00:50:01.920 that

00:50:02.060 c15

00:50:02.520 actually

00:50:03.060 repairs

00:50:03.540 age

00:50:03.840 related

00:50:04.100 damage

00:50:04.520 to

00:50:04.680 cells

00:50:04.960 and

00:50:05.220 protects

00:50:05.500 them

00:50:05.640 from

00:50:05.800 future

00:50:06.060 break

00:50:06.340 down

00:50:06.500 studies

00:50:17.280 and

00:50:17.620 red

00:50:17.840 blood

00:50:18.060 cell

00:50:18.260 health

00:50:18.520 within

00:50:18.880 just

00:50:19.080 three

00:50:19.280 months

00:50:19.620 plus

00:50:20.040 fatty

00:50:20.320 15

00:50:20.600 comes

00:50:20.960 in

00:50:21.080 this

00:50:21.240 gorgeous

00:50:21.640 reusable

00:50:22.160 glass

00:50:22.500 jar

00:50:22.780 with

00:50:22.960 convenient

00:50:23.340 refills

00:50:23.800 shipping

00:50:24.360 right

00:50:24.720 to

00:50:24.860 your

00:50:24.980 door

00:50:25.220 fatty

00:50:25.620 15

00:50:25.920 is

00:50:26.120 on

00:50:26.260 a

00:50:26.360 mission

00:50:26.540 to

00:50:26.740 optimize

00:50:27.200 your

00:50:27.400 c15

00:50:27.900 levels

00:50:28.280 to

00:50:28.440 help

00:50:28.600 support

00:50:28.960 your

00:50:29.160 long-term

00:50:29.600 health

00:50:29.860 and

00:50:30.020 wellness

00:50:30.420 especially

00:50:30.920 as

00:50:31.320 you

00:50:31.460 age

00:50:31.760 you

00:50:32.020 can

00:50:32.140 get

00:50:32.280 an

00:50:32.400 additional

00:50:32.720 15%

00:50:33.380 off

00:50:33.620 their

00:50:33.720 90-day

00:50:34.120 subscription

00:50:34.540 starter

00:50:34.900 kit

00:50:35.140 by going

00:50:35.400 to

00:50:35.580 fatty

00:50:35.860 15.com

00:50:36.980 slash

00:50:37.220 Peterson

00:50:37.560 and using

00:50:38.240 code

00:50:38.480 Peterson

00:50:38.860 at

00:50:39.240 checkout

00:50:39.580 there's

00:50:42.480 a lot

00:50:42.780 there

00:50:43.120 one of

00:50:43.660 the

00:50:43.780 things

00:50:44.040 that

00:50:44.260 I

00:50:44.660 was

00:50:44.860 considering

00:50:45.440 while

00:50:46.520 you

00:50:46.700 were

00:50:47.000 laying

00:50:47.980 out

00:50:48.280 those

00:50:49.040 observations

00:50:50.280 was

00:50:50.780 that

00:50:51.120 your

00:50:52.240 nonverbal

00:50:52.940 behavior

00:50:53.420 is

00:50:53.740 probably

00:50:54.200 dramatizing

00:50:55.380 and

00:50:56.500 then

00:50:56.700 signaling

00:50:57.280 your

00:50:58.860 interpretation

00:50:59.640 of the

00:51:00.480 place

00:51:00.900 as a

00:51:01.540 drama

00:51:01.980 so

00:51:03.500 let's

00:51:03.860 say

00:51:04.180 one of

00:51:05.560 the

00:51:05.660 things

00:51:05.880 you

00:51:06.020 might

00:51:06.200 ask

00:51:06.500 yourself

00:51:06.980 for

00:51:08.000 example

00:51:08.460 when you

00:51:10.320 go

00:51:10.640 to

00:51:11.220 speak

00:51:11.540 to

00:51:12.040 your

00:51:12.260 boss

00:51:12.740 for

00:51:13.540 a

00:51:13.760 raise

00:51:14.160 it

00:51:15.260 might

00:51:15.480 well

00:51:16.180 be

00:51:16.380 worth

00:51:16.660 asking

00:51:17.200 who

00:51:19.200 is

00:51:19.460 this

00:51:19.740 boss

00:51:20.320 to

00:51:21.180 you

00:51:21.500 what's

00:51:22.380 your

00:51:22.520 narrative

00:51:22.900 about

00:51:23.240 them

00:51:23.400 what's

00:51:24.200 their

00:51:24.400 characterization

00:51:25.160 and

00:51:26.520 who

00:51:27.900 are

00:51:28.120 you

00:51:28.340 in

00:51:28.580 relationship

00:51:29.260 to

00:51:31.140 that

00:51:31.520 figure

00:51:32.040 because

00:51:33.520 otherwise

00:51:33.780 that's

00:51:34.160 going to

00:51:34.380 take

00:51:34.580 place

00:51:34.880 unconsciously

00:51:35.840 and

00:51:37.180 so

00:51:37.520 if

00:51:38.680 your

00:51:39.020 boss

00:51:40.420 is

00:51:40.660 intimidating

00:51:41.220 and

00:51:41.860 terrifying

00:51:42.680 and

00:51:43.740 you

00:51:45.060 adopt

00:51:45.460 the

00:51:45.660 role

00:51:45.880 of

00:51:46.060 supplicant

00:51:46.720 because

00:51:47.640 that's

00:51:48.060 your

00:51:48.220 conceptualization

00:51:49.300 then

00:51:50.340 you're

00:51:51.280 going to

00:51:51.580 dramatize

00:51:52.200 that

00:51:52.440 with your

00:51:52.760 nonverbal

00:51:53.260 behavior

00:51:53.780 and

00:51:54.100 indicate

00:51:54.420 it

00:51:54.760 so

00:51:55.660 you

00:51:56.880 want

00:51:57.060 to

00:51:57.160 get

00:51:57.280 your

00:51:57.480 attitude

00:51:57.860 right

00:51:58.360 so

00:52:00.240 that

00:52:00.400 you're

00:52:00.580 playing

00:52:00.860 the

00:52:01.020 right

00:52:01.220 game

00:52:01.620 and

00:52:01.840 so

00:52:02.660 what's

00:52:04.360 the

00:52:04.500 right

00:52:04.700 attitude

00:52:05.060 to have

00:52:05.520 towards

00:52:05.900 your

00:52:06.080 boss

00:52:06.580 well

00:52:07.860 if

00:52:09.300 the

00:52:09.640 situation

00:52:11.980 is

00:52:12.320 kosher

00:52:12.880 if

00:52:13.080 it's

00:52:13.280 set

00:52:13.440 up

00:52:13.620 properly

00:52:14.080 then

00:52:15.560 you're

00:52:16.540 each

00:52:16.760 playing

00:52:17.140 a

00:52:17.320 mutually

00:52:17.680 beneficial

00:52:18.320 role

00:52:18.840 in

00:52:19.040 relationship

00:52:19.520 to

00:52:19.800 some

00:52:20.020 shared

00:52:20.420 end

00:52:20.880 so

00:52:22.200 even

00:52:22.540 though

00:52:22.880 that

00:52:23.800 person

00:52:24.180 might

00:52:24.440 be

00:52:24.680 superordinate

00:52:25.320 to

00:52:25.560 you

00:52:25.820 in

00:52:26.360 the

00:52:26.560 hierarchical

00:52:27.820 position

00:52:28.340 that

00:52:29.340 doesn't

00:52:29.700 mean

00:52:29.900 that

00:52:30.080 you

00:52:30.260 have

00:52:30.660 no

00:52:31.220 value

00:52:31.620 or

00:52:31.780 that

00:52:31.900 you

00:52:32.000 have

00:52:32.140 nothing

00:52:32.400 to

00:52:32.620 offer

00:52:33.000 and

00:52:34.480 so

00:52:34.840 what

00:52:36.320 behaviors

00:52:37.000 are

00:52:37.340 indicative

00:52:37.940 this

00:52:38.340 would

00:52:38.520 touch

00:52:39.380 on

00:52:39.560 the

00:52:39.720 issue

00:52:39.940 of

00:52:40.100 competence

00:52:40.600 what

00:52:41.540 are

00:52:41.740 the

00:52:41.900 behaviors

00:52:42.320 that

00:52:42.640 would

00:52:42.800 be

00:52:42.980 indicative

00:52:43.400 of

00:52:43.740 the

00:52:43.920 fact

00:52:44.200 that

00:52:44.560 you

00:52:45.640 have

00:52:46.020 something

00:52:46.420 to

00:52:46.680 offer

00:52:47.100 because

00:52:48.160 you're

00:52:48.300 approaching

00:52:48.680 a

00:52:48.880 position

00:52:49.200 of

00:52:49.360 equality

00:52:49.780 when

00:52:50.080 you

00:52:50.260 adopt

00:52:51.420 that

00:52:51.760 stance

00:52:52.280 I mean

00:52:53.160 when I

00:52:53.820 was

00:52:54.000 coaching

00:52:54.300 people

00:52:54.760 to

00:52:56.800 accelerate

00:52:57.860 the

00:52:58.160 growth

00:52:58.420 of

00:52:58.600 their

00:52:58.800 career

00:52:59.200 I

00:53:01.120 encouraged

00:53:01.980 them

00:53:02.240 to

00:53:02.680 make

00:53:04.940 the

00:53:05.220 requests

00:53:05.800 that

00:53:06.200 were

00:53:06.500 in

00:53:07.040 line

00:53:07.320 with

00:53:07.540 that

00:53:07.780 goal

00:53:08.180 to

00:53:09.180 actually

00:53:09.520 let

00:53:09.800 the

00:53:10.000 boss

00:53:11.060 know

00:53:11.440 that

00:53:11.860 they

00:53:13.600 were

00:53:13.860 interested

00:53:14.340 in

00:53:14.600 adopting

00:53:15.040 more

00:53:15.360 responsibility

00:53:16.240 it's

00:53:16.800 a very

00:53:17.080 different

00:53:17.460 idea

00:53:17.820 than

00:53:18.080 I'm

00:53:18.720 interested

00:53:19.120 in

00:53:19.400 having

00:53:19.680 more

00:53:19.980 money

00:53:20.340 that's

00:53:21.720 not

00:53:21.920 relevant

00:53:22.360 everyone's

00:53:22.940 interested

00:53:23.300 in

00:53:23.500 having

00:53:23.720 more

00:53:23.960 money

00:53:24.280 so

00:53:24.920 if

00:53:25.500 the

00:53:25.920 role

00:53:27.160 of

00:53:27.340 your

00:53:27.500 boss

00:53:28.020 in

00:53:28.300 your

00:53:28.660 raised

00:53:30.240 drama

00:53:30.780 is

00:53:31.220 bestower

00:53:32.760 of

00:53:33.020 money

00:53:33.420 you're

00:53:34.300 not

00:53:34.520 going

00:53:34.800 to

00:53:35.180 get

00:53:36.420 anywhere

00:53:36.800 because

00:53:37.240 the

00:53:38.260 proper

00:53:38.600 attitude

00:53:38.940 of

00:53:39.140 any

00:53:39.340 boss

00:53:39.660 is

00:53:39.960 well

00:53:40.900 everybody

00:53:41.320 always

00:53:41.720 wants

00:53:42.000 more

00:53:42.240 money

00:53:42.540 so

00:53:43.000 that

00:53:43.540 doesn't

00:53:43.860 make

00:53:44.080 you

00:53:44.340 unique

00:53:44.940 and

00:53:45.520 it

00:53:45.660 certainly

00:53:45.920 doesn't

00:53:46.280 indicate

00:53:46.580 that

00:53:46.820 you're

00:53:46.980 bringing

00:53:47.200 anything

00:53:47.560 to

00:53:47.780 the

00:53:47.940 table

00:53:48.280 a

00:53:49.420 much

00:53:49.620 more

00:53:49.860 appropriate

00:53:50.460 strategy

00:53:51.180 is

00:53:51.520 to

00:53:51.860 put

00:53:53.380 yourself

00:53:53.780 in a

00:53:54.040 position

00:53:54.460 genuinely

00:53:55.100 that

00:53:55.620 where

00:53:57.220 your

00:53:57.580 services

00:53:58.600 are

00:53:59.100 both

00:53:59.660 vital

00:54:00.100 and

00:54:00.560 productive

00:54:01.480 and

00:54:02.660 then

00:54:02.860 to

00:54:03.060 indicate

00:54:03.480 that

00:54:04.020 you

00:54:04.620 know

00:54:04.700 and

00:54:04.860 maybe

00:54:05.080 this

00:54:05.340 gets

00:54:05.560 to

00:54:05.760 the

00:54:06.040 core

00:54:06.720 question

00:54:07.220 that

00:54:07.420 we

00:54:07.660 opened

00:54:08.260 the

00:54:08.400 conversation

00:54:08.980 with

00:54:09.360 is

00:54:09.600 how

00:54:11.040 do

00:54:11.180 you

00:54:11.280 know

00:54:11.460 when

00:54:11.700 your

00:54:12.020 nonverbal

00:54:13.940 signaling

00:54:14.440 which

00:54:15.200 would

00:54:15.320 be

00:54:15.420 the

00:54:15.600 drama

00:54:15.920 that

00:54:16.120 you

00:54:16.260 inhabit

00:54:16.640 is

00:54:17.400 counterproductive

00:54:18.360 and

00:54:19.200 the answer

00:54:19.800 to that

00:54:20.140 would

00:54:20.340 be

00:54:20.680 you

00:54:21.740 do

00:54:21.920 a

00:54:22.080 lot

00:54:22.260 of

00:54:22.380 the

00:54:22.560 work

00:54:22.780 but

00:54:22.960 you

00:54:23.100 get

00:54:23.280 none

00:54:23.500 of

00:54:23.620 the

00:54:23.780 credit

00:54:24.160 and

00:54:24.640 that

00:54:24.780 that's

00:54:25.040 genuine

00:54:25.620 and

00:54:26.280 then

00:54:26.460 someone

00:54:26.820 else

00:54:27.100 you're

00:54:27.260 leaving

00:54:27.440 a

00:54:27.620 space

00:54:27.960 for

00:54:28.160 someone

00:54:28.420 who's

00:54:28.640 more

00:54:28.860 psychopathic

00:54:29.760 so

00:54:30.300 they

00:54:30.460 can

00:54:30.600 play

00:54:30.820 dominance

00:54:31.340 games

00:54:31.700 and

00:54:31.960 their

00:54:32.720 nonverbal

00:54:33.400 behavior

00:54:33.940 codes

00:54:34.460 for

00:54:34.800 confidence

00:54:35.700 they

00:54:36.260 can

00:54:36.460 steal

00:54:36.860 all

00:54:37.060 the

00:54:37.200 credit

00:54:37.460 from

00:54:37.840 you

00:54:38.060 because

00:54:38.380 you're

00:54:38.640 not

00:54:38.940 doing

00:54:39.320 a

00:54:39.480 good

00:54:39.620 job

00:54:39.960 of

00:54:40.200 communicating

00:54:40.920 your

00:54:41.500 value

00:54:41.840 so

00:54:42.180 then

00:54:42.380 when

00:54:42.540 you

00:54:42.660 go

00:54:42.820 to

00:54:43.080 ask

00:54:44.140 for

00:54:44.320 the

00:54:44.460 raise

00:54:44.800 what

00:54:45.440 you

00:54:45.600 should

00:54:45.780 have

00:54:46.060 in

00:54:46.200 mind

00:54:46.480 is

00:54:46.720 what

00:54:47.280 the

00:54:47.460 hell

00:54:47.640 you're

00:54:47.880 good

00:54:48.100 for

00:54:48.440 and

00:54:49.680 why

00:54:50.440 it

00:54:50.620 would

00:54:50.760 be

00:54:50.920 beneficial

00:54:51.480 to

00:54:51.900 the

00:54:52.160 person

00:54:52.480 that

00:54:52.660 you're

00:54:52.840 speaking

00:54:53.240 with

00:54:53.660 to

00:54:54.380 provide

00:54:54.820 you

00:54:55.080 with

00:54:55.300 additional

00:54:55.720 resources

00:54:56.320 and

00:54:57.040 so

00:54:57.320 what

00:54:58.200 behaviors

00:54:58.740 would

00:54:58.980 go

00:54:59.160 along

00:54:59.500 with

00:54:59.860 an

00:55:01.000 attitude

00:55:01.360 like

00:55:02.260 that

00:55:02.720 say

00:55:03.500 rather

00:55:03.840 than

00:55:04.140 supplicant

00:55:04.840 or

00:55:05.120 questioner

00:55:06.580 yes

00:55:07.220 so

00:55:07.920 when

00:55:08.940 you

00:55:09.120 are

00:55:09.280 seeing

00:55:09.600 your

00:55:09.760 boss

00:55:10.100 I

00:55:10.340 think

00:55:10.560 you

00:55:10.780 want

00:55:11.080 to

00:55:11.420 have

00:55:12.060 two

00:55:12.600 narratives

00:55:13.440 going

00:55:13.960 in

00:55:14.240 either

00:55:15.660 problem

00:55:16.480 solver

00:55:16.960 which

00:55:17.700 is

00:55:17.900 I

00:55:18.160 think

00:55:18.440 a

00:55:19.320 part

00:55:21.140 of

00:55:21.280 competence

00:55:21.820 where

00:55:22.460 you're

00:55:22.700 going

00:55:22.980 in

00:55:23.260 saying

00:55:23.620 my

00:55:23.920 value

00:55:24.480 here

00:55:24.860 is

00:55:25.100 solving

00:55:25.460 whatever

00:55:25.820 your

00:55:26.060 problem

00:55:26.420 is

00:55:26.800 whether

00:55:27.660 that's

00:55:28.160 a

00:55:28.360 personnel

00:55:28.660 issue

00:55:29.120 or a

00:55:29.480 company

00:55:29.720 issue

00:55:30.040 or a

00:55:30.300 value

00:55:30.540 issue

00:55:30.880 your

00:55:31.480 narrative

00:55:32.000 that

00:55:32.260 career

00:55:32.600 narrative

00:55:32.980 you're

00:55:33.180 going

00:55:33.260 to

00:55:33.320 go

00:55:33.460 into

00:55:33.760 is

00:55:33.980 not

00:55:34.160 I

00:55:34.320 want

00:55:34.460 more

00:55:34.600 money

00:55:34.840 because

00:55:35.200 that

00:55:35.420 doesn't

00:55:35.880 that's

00:55:36.160 not

00:55:36.300 going

00:55:36.740 to

00:55:36.800 feel

00:55:36.900 them

00:55:37.080 it's

00:55:37.700 I

00:55:38.300 am

00:55:38.440 so

00:55:38.740 competent

00:55:39.360 that

00:55:39.940 I

00:55:40.060 can

00:55:40.240 solve

00:55:40.660 this

00:55:44.240 problem

00:55:44.540 solver

00:55:44.960 that's

00:55:45.620 what

00:55:45.720 I

00:55:45.820 competent

00:55:46.420 is

00:55:46.620 such

00:55:46.740 a

00:55:46.840 big

00:55:47.000 word

00:55:47.180 no

00:55:47.360 it's

00:55:47.560 problem

00:55:47.940 solving

00:55:48.300 that's

00:55:48.700 we

00:55:48.900 can

00:55:49.060 rely

00:55:49.400 on

00:55:49.640 people

00:55:49.920 who

00:55:50.100 solve

00:55:50.400 our

00:55:50.580 problems

00:55:51.020 so

00:55:51.840 your

00:55:52.040 verbal

00:55:52.340 answers

00:55:52.820 your

00:55:53.440 evidence

00:55:53.920 is

00:55:54.140 all

00:55:54.360 going

00:55:54.500 to

00:55:54.560 be

00:55:54.700 around

00:55:55.060 solving

00:55:55.560 their

00:55:55.920 problems

00:55:56.400 that's

00:55:56.980 the

00:55:57.200 brain

00:55:58.220 child

00:55:58.520 of

00:55:58.680 competence

00:55:59.120 or

00:55:59.980 if

00:56:00.980 you're

00:56:01.080 like

00:56:01.260 my

00:56:02.020 value

00:56:03.060 is

00:56:03.260 not

00:56:03.440 there

00:56:03.760 the

00:56:04.800 brain

00:56:05.100 child

00:56:05.420 of

00:56:05.680 warmth

00:56:06.160 is

00:56:06.660 being

00:56:06.880 an

00:56:07.100 ally

00:56:07.540 and

00:56:08.600 there

00:56:08.740 are

00:56:09.000 bosses

00:56:09.400 who

00:56:09.760 need

00:56:10.020 this

00:56:10.260 and

00:56:14.240 I

00:56:14.480 am

00:56:14.640 compassionate

00:56:15.220 I

00:56:15.580 have

00:56:15.740 high

00:56:16.180 emotional

00:56:16.760 intelligence

00:56:17.360 I

00:56:17.820 have

00:56:18.000 high

00:56:18.260 interpersonal

00:56:18.740 intelligence

00:56:19.220 my

00:56:19.720 value

00:56:20.240 on

00:56:20.520 this

00:56:20.700 team

00:56:20.980 and

00:56:21.140 to

00:56:21.280 you

00:56:21.600 is

00:56:22.300 that

00:56:22.420 I'm

00:56:22.660 a

00:56:22.820 wonderful

00:56:23.220 listener

00:56:23.620 I

00:56:23.980 have

00:56:24.140 my

00:56:24.340 pulse

00:56:24.820 of

00:56:25.100 the

00:56:25.220 behavior

00:56:25.580 that's

00:56:25.840 going

00:56:25.980 on

00:56:26.160 in

00:56:26.260 this

00:56:26.400 office

00:56:26.780 I'm

00:56:27.460 a

00:56:27.620 champion

00:56:28.060 of

00:56:28.440 you

00:56:28.780 and

00:56:28.980 your

00:56:29.140 ideas

00:56:29.660 I

00:56:30.200 can

00:56:30.440 read

00:56:30.780 you

00:56:31.120 well

00:56:31.480 in

00:56:32.240 a

00:56:32.400 way

00:56:32.640 it's

00:56:32.880 soft

00:56:33.500 skills

00:56:33.780 and

00:56:33.920 hard

00:56:34.200 skills

00:56:34.520 and

00:56:34.700 I

00:56:34.820 wish

00:56:35.280 we

00:56:35.520 talked

00:56:35.780 about

00:56:35.980 this

00:56:36.180 more

00:56:36.420 and

00:56:36.540 I

00:56:36.640 think

00:56:36.800 this

00:56:37.120 is

00:56:37.240 the

00:56:37.440 only

00:56:37.980 choice

00:56:38.400 we

00:56:38.560 have

00:56:38.780 in

00:56:38.880 the

00:56:38.980 age

00:56:39.160 of

00:56:39.260 AI

00:56:39.560 this

00:56:40.320 is

00:56:40.480 career

00:56:40.800 insurance

00:56:41.400 you

00:56:42.240 either

00:56:42.480 have

00:56:42.720 to

00:56:42.860 know

00:56:43.120 I

00:56:43.780 excel

00:56:44.800 in

00:56:45.180 soft

00:56:45.640 skills

00:56:46.100 the

00:56:46.340 warmth

00:56:46.720 side

00:56:47.060 of

00:56:47.200 things

00:56:47.500 where

00:56:47.700 I

00:56:47.880 can

00:56:48.060 support

00:56:48.800 people

00:56:49.100 on

00:56:49.240 the

00:56:49.360 communication

00:56:49.700 side

00:56:50.280 or

00:56:51.040 I

00:56:51.540 thrive

00:56:52.140 in

00:56:52.340 hard

00:56:52.680 skills

00:56:53.060 specifically

00:56:54.020 problem

00:56:54.840 solving

00:56:55.260 less

00:56:56.080 so

00:56:56.400 unfortunately

00:56:57.040 the

00:56:57.460 hard

00:56:57.660 skills

00:56:57.940 of

00:56:58.120 programming

00:56:58.880 or

00:56:59.380 you

00:56:59.800 know

00:56:59.900 software

00:57:00.200 development

00:57:00.700 unfortunately

00:57:01.240 I

00:57:01.480 think

00:57:01.820 that

00:57:01.920 those

00:57:02.060 are

00:57:02.140 going

00:57:02.240 to

00:57:02.300 start

00:57:02.420 to

00:57:02.500 be

00:57:06.640 take

00:57:06.800 problems

00:57:07.100 off

00:57:07.280 your

00:57:07.400 plate

00:57:07.700 that's

00:57:08.580 how

00:57:08.680 people

00:57:08.880 get

00:57:09.060 raises

00:57:09.440 rather

00:57:10.640 than

00:57:10.920 cause

00:57:11.320 them

00:57:11.560 let's

00:57:11.880 say

00:57:12.100 yes

00:57:12.780 and

00:57:13.000 the

00:57:13.140 behavior

00:57:13.500 cues

00:57:13.820 along

00:57:14.100 with

00:57:14.280 that

00:57:14.480 there's

00:57:15.060 so

00:57:15.220 many

00:57:15.400 ways

00:57:15.640 that

00:57:15.760 we

00:57:15.840 could

00:57:16.000 take

00:57:16.220 it

00:57:16.380 first

00:57:16.740 of

00:57:16.860 all

00:57:16.940 of

00:57:17.040 course

00:57:17.200 verbally

00:57:17.540 using

00:57:18.180 those

00:57:18.460 words

00:57:18.740 I

00:57:18.880 mean

00:57:18.980 literally

00:57:19.260 saying

00:57:19.620 I'm

00:57:19.940 going

00:57:20.040 to

00:57:20.140 provide

00:57:20.440 this

00:57:20.640 value

00:57:20.880 to

00:57:21.080 you

00:57:21.200 with

00:57:21.360 the

00:57:21.480 reasoning

00:57:21.980 but

00:57:22.740 how

00:57:24.020 to

00:57:24.220 sound

00:57:24.620 smart

00:57:25.160 is

00:57:25.540 something

00:57:25.740 I

00:57:25.920 think

00:57:26.100 about

00:57:26.360 a lot

00:57:26.820 because

00:57:27.100 so

00:57:27.380 many

00:57:27.560 of

00:57:27.700 my

00:57:27.840 students

00:57:28.160 are

00:57:28.420 so

00:57:28.820 smart

00:57:29.220 but

00:57:29.440 they

00:57:29.560 don't

00:57:29.800 sound

00:57:30.120 it

00:57:30.400 and

00:57:31.180 I'm

00:57:31.360 like

00:57:31.560 what

00:57:32.100 is

00:57:32.300 the

00:57:32.480 disconnect

00:57:32.840 here

00:57:33.160 what

00:57:33.420 is

00:57:33.580 happening

00:57:34.080 we

00:57:35.220 talked

00:57:35.440 about

00:57:35.640 up

00:57:35.820 talk

00:57:36.040 which

00:57:36.220 is

00:57:36.300 an

00:57:36.400 important

00:57:36.620 one

00:57:36.940 but

00:57:37.500 verbal

00:57:38.040 acuity

00:57:38.720 verbally

00:57:40.080 being

00:57:40.480 able

00:57:40.700 to

00:57:40.940 organize

00:57:41.300 your

00:57:41.620 thoughts

00:57:41.980 is

00:57:42.220 a

00:57:42.380 skill

00:57:42.600 that

00:57:42.780 can

00:57:42.960 be

00:57:43.120 learned

00:57:43.540 and

00:57:43.920 if

00:57:44.080 you

00:57:44.220 have

00:57:44.560 mental

00:57:45.180 acuity

00:57:45.580 you

00:57:46.020 can

00:57:46.220 learn

00:57:46.440 to

00:57:46.580 verbalize

00:57:47.000 it

00:57:47.120 this

00:57:47.340 means

00:57:47.840 the

00:57:48.800 myth

00:57:49.140 is

00:57:49.480 speak

00:57:50.080 in

00:57:50.260 longer

00:57:50.660 more

00:57:51.020 complex

00:57:51.540 sentences

00:57:52.020 with

00:57:52.300 bigger

00:57:52.500 words

00:57:52.880 we

00:57:54.120 actually

00:57:54.480 don't

00:57:54.860 think

00:57:55.040 of

00:57:55.160 that

00:57:55.300 as

00:57:55.440 smart

00:57:55.740 in

00:57:55.960 fact

00:57:56.140 we

00:57:56.360 like

00:57:56.680 people

00:57:57.020 who

00:57:57.220 speak

00:57:57.480 in

00:57:57.640 short

00:57:57.960 declarative

00:57:58.560 sentences

00:57:59.100 with

00:57:59.680 concise

00:58:00.160 ideas

00:58:00.660 and

00:58:01.380 have

00:58:01.660 shorter

00:58:02.220 more

00:58:02.460 specific

00:58:02.800 words

00:58:03.220 so

00:58:03.860 what

00:58:04.140 smart

00:58:04.340 people

00:58:04.540 often

00:58:04.860 do

00:58:05.020 the

00:58:05.140 mistake

00:58:05.460 they

00:58:05.640 make

00:58:05.960 one

00:58:06.400 of

00:58:06.480 the

00:58:06.520 biggest

00:58:06.680 mistakes

00:58:06.980 is

00:58:07.200 they

00:58:07.360 try

00:58:07.840 to

00:58:08.000 speak

00:58:08.200 in

00:58:08.320 more

00:58:08.480 complex

00:58:08.880 ways

00:58:09.200 that

00:58:09.880 actually

00:58:10.180 is

00:58:10.320 the

00:58:10.460 worst

00:58:10.740 thing

00:58:11.040 for

00:58:11.440 your

00:58:11.580 competence

00:58:11.960 because

00:58:12.200 it

00:58:12.320 makes

00:58:12.500 it

00:58:12.620 sound

00:58:12.800 like

00:58:12.960 you

00:58:13.060 actually

00:58:13.380 don't

00:58:13.860 know

00:58:22.300 second

00:58:23.520 third

00:58:24.120 that

00:58:25.160 is

00:58:25.320 all

00:58:25.640 competence

00:58:26.240 cues

00:58:26.560 because

00:58:26.840 you're

00:58:27.080 saying

00:58:27.380 I

00:58:27.700 know

00:58:27.860 my

00:58:28.060 content

00:58:28.420 so

00:58:28.720 well

00:58:29.000 I

00:58:29.660 can

00:58:29.820 speak

00:58:30.040 to

00:58:30.200 you

00:58:30.280 on

00:58:30.420 two

00:58:30.580 tracks

00:58:31.000 I

00:58:31.320 can

00:58:31.440 speak

00:58:31.600 to

00:58:31.720 you

00:58:31.780 with

00:58:31.880 my

00:58:32.020 words

00:58:32.440 but

00:58:33.000 I

00:58:33.080 can

00:58:33.180 also

00:58:33.340 speak

00:58:33.540 to

00:58:33.660 you

00:58:33.720 with

00:58:33.820 my

00:58:33.980 gestures

00:58:34.340 and

00:58:35.180 boy

00:58:35.480 oh

00:58:35.640 boy

00:58:35.800 do

00:58:35.940 we

00:58:36.020 like

00:58:36.220 to

00:58:36.360 rely

00:58:36.600 on

00:58:36.820 people

00:58:37.080 who

00:58:37.260 can

00:58:37.460 speak

00:58:37.880 to

00:58:38.020 us

00:58:38.200 on

00:58:38.320 two

00:58:38.440 different

00:58:38.700 tracks

00:58:39.040 and

00:58:39.360 it

00:58:39.480 organizes

00:58:39.960 for

00:58:40.180 us

00:58:40.500 so

00:58:41.160 your

00:58:41.340 boss

00:58:41.940 who's

00:58:42.500 probably

00:58:42.820 doing

00:58:52.300 of

00:58:52.560 movement

00:58:53.100 and

00:58:53.640 I

00:58:53.760 do

00:58:53.940 mean

00:58:54.160 precision

00:58:54.640 of

00:58:55.000 movement

00:58:55.360 the

00:58:56.180 more

00:58:56.500 smart

00:58:57.120 you

00:58:57.360 are

00:58:57.500 going

00:58:57.680 to

00:58:57.860 sound

00:58:58.240 and

00:58:58.520 look

00:58:58.840 you

00:58:59.500 talked

00:58:59.820 about

00:59:00.040 the

00:59:00.240 fact

00:59:00.520 that

00:59:01.000 touching

00:59:02.160 the

00:59:02.700 face

00:59:03.100 for

00:59:03.520 example

00:59:03.940 is

00:59:04.780 a

00:59:04.980 sign

00:59:05.180 of

00:59:05.360 disconnect

00:59:05.780 and

00:59:07.000 I

00:59:07.760 think

00:59:07.980 it's

00:59:08.180 a sign

00:59:08.480 of

00:59:08.640 disconnect

00:59:09.000 because

00:59:09.580 if

00:59:11.000 I'm

00:59:11.260 attending

00:59:11.640 to

00:59:11.960 me

00:59:12.480 in

00:59:13.800 the

00:59:13.960 course

00:59:14.240 of

00:59:14.540 a

00:59:15.420 conversation

00:59:16.060 then

00:59:16.820 I'm

00:59:17.120 clearly

00:59:17.540 not

00:59:17.900 attending

00:59:18.300 to

00:59:18.560 you

00:59:18.900 it

00:59:20.000 it's

00:59:20.620 an

00:59:20.760 indication

00:59:21.160 of

00:59:21.400 self

00:59:21.700 consciousness

00:59:22.220 which

00:59:22.640 is

00:59:22.800 associated

00:59:23.580 with

00:59:24.020 doubt

00:59:24.820 and

00:59:25.120 fear

00:59:25.520 and

00:59:26.140 withdrawal

00:59:26.700 and

00:59:27.860 you

00:59:28.840 want

00:59:29.200 to

00:59:29.600 be

00:59:29.780 talking

00:59:30.080 to

00:59:30.300 someone

00:59:30.620 who's

00:59:31.220 engaged

00:59:32.220 in

00:59:32.420 the

00:59:32.540 conversation

00:59:33.120 and

00:59:33.440 not

00:59:33.820 self

00:59:35.260 conscious

00:59:35.740 now

00:59:37.340 if

00:59:37.540 you're

00:59:37.680 going

00:59:37.940 in

00:59:38.160 to

00:59:38.280 ask

00:59:38.700 for

00:59:38.900 a

00:59:39.080 raise

00:59:39.440 you

00:59:40.220 could

00:59:40.360 easily

00:59:40.620 become

00:59:40.980 self

00:59:41.320 conscious

00:59:41.860 but

00:59:42.880 that

00:59:43.100 would

00:59:43.240 be

00:59:43.380 an

00:59:43.520 indication

00:59:44.000 I

00:59:44.300 think

00:59:44.580 that

00:59:44.980 the

00:59:46.740 story

00:59:47.200 that

00:59:47.420 you're

00:59:47.600 acting

00:59:47.880 out

00:59:48.100 is

00:59:48.240 all

00:59:48.420 about

00:59:48.720 you

00:59:49.160 right

00:59:50.560 now

00:59:50.880 so

00:59:51.140 the

00:59:51.580 big five

00:59:52.100 theorists

00:59:52.720 showed

00:59:53.220 that

00:59:53.780 self

00:59:55.480 consciousness

00:59:56.000 and

00:59:56.380 neuroticism

00:59:57.020 were

00:59:57.380 indistinguishable

00:59:58.480 from one

00:59:58.900 another

00:59:59.200 so

01:00:00.540 the

01:00:01.540 rule of

01:00:02.560 thumb

01:00:02.860 and this

01:00:03.180 is a

01:00:03.460 terrible

01:00:03.700 rule of

01:00:04.180 thumb

01:00:04.420 is that

01:00:05.500 if you're

01:00:06.980 thinking about

01:00:07.600 yourself

01:00:08.160 you're

01:00:09.340 miserable

01:00:09.800 and

01:00:11.380 that probably

01:00:12.360 applies in

01:00:13.860 some ways

01:00:14.320 across the

01:00:14.920 board

01:00:15.240 what you

01:00:18.760 want to

01:00:19.060 be

01:00:19.200 thinking

01:00:19.520 about

01:00:20.600 is

01:00:21.180 what

01:00:23.540 you're

01:00:23.840 going to

01:00:24.900 do

01:00:25.080 for the

01:00:25.400 other

01:00:25.580 person

01:00:26.060 and

01:00:27.980 it

01:00:28.100 has

01:00:28.300 to be

01:00:28.580 real

01:00:29.000 so

01:00:30.000 if

01:00:30.180 you're

01:00:30.340 going

01:00:30.660 to

01:00:30.800 your

01:00:30.960 boss

01:00:31.300 because

01:00:31.600 you

01:00:31.780 want

01:00:31.940 to

01:00:32.060 raise

01:00:32.420 you

01:00:33.920 want

01:00:34.240 to

01:00:34.500 know

01:00:35.480 and

01:00:36.300 then

01:00:36.520 thoroughly

01:00:36.980 justify

01:00:37.900 the

01:00:38.280 fact

01:00:38.560 that

01:00:38.980 it's

01:00:40.440 in

01:00:40.840 his

01:00:41.160 or

01:00:41.380 her

01:00:41.600 best

01:00:41.960 interest

01:00:42.340 to

01:00:42.580 give

01:00:42.780 you

01:00:42.940 a

01:00:43.100 raise

01:00:43.380 and

01:00:44.080 you

01:00:44.640 need

01:00:44.880 to

01:00:45.080 provide

01:00:45.500 them

01:00:45.720 with

01:00:45.980 the

01:00:46.340 data

01:00:47.700 that

01:00:48.040 indicate

01:00:48.460 that

01:00:48.780 that's

01:00:49.220 self

01:00:50.780 evident

01:00:51.140 now

01:00:52.400 you

01:00:52.760 talked

01:00:53.020 about

01:00:53.260 problem

01:00:53.700 solving

01:00:54.200 what

01:00:57.600 do you

01:00:57.860 suppose

01:00:58.180 the

01:00:58.420 association

01:00:58.920 is

01:00:59.460 between

01:00:59.960 precision

01:01:01.440 of

01:01:01.700 words

01:01:02.000 and

01:01:02.180 precision

01:01:02.580 of

01:01:02.840 gesture

01:01:03.260 in

01:01:03.620 relationship

01:01:04.100 to

01:01:04.340 competence

01:01:04.740 does it

01:01:05.100 show

01:01:05.280 that

01:01:05.440 you're

01:01:05.620 integrated

01:01:06.180 yeah

01:01:07.300 it

01:01:07.460 shows

01:01:07.680 that

01:01:07.820 you're

01:01:08.060 focused

01:01:08.520 what

01:01:08.960 do

01:01:09.240 you

01:01:09.320 think

01:01:09.500 it's

01:01:09.720 indicating

01:01:10.180 well

01:01:10.740 if

01:01:10.880 you

01:01:10.980 think

01:01:11.160 of

01:01:11.280 someone

01:01:11.540 who

01:01:11.700 is

01:01:11.800 highly

01:01:12.160 competent

01:01:12.600 they know

01:01:13.020 their

01:01:13.200 stuff

01:01:13.440 they

01:01:13.600 don't

01:01:13.840 need

01:01:14.000 notes

01:01:14.400 in

01:01:15.160 other

01:01:15.560 words

01:01:15.740 they're

01:01:15.940 so

01:01:16.220 clear

01:01:16.720 on

01:01:17.020 what

01:01:17.180 their

01:01:17.320 idea

01:01:17.620 is

01:01:17.840 and

01:01:17.940 what

01:01:18.060 either

01:01:18.240 the

01:01:18.400 problem

01:01:18.760 is

01:01:18.960 or the

01:01:19.120 solution

01:01:19.440 is

01:01:19.740 that

01:01:20.140 they

01:01:20.260 don't

01:01:20.380 have

01:01:20.540 to waste

01:01:20.920 words

01:01:21.260 they don't

01:01:21.500 have to

01:01:21.740 waste

01:01:21.920 movement

01:01:22.280 and so

01:01:22.960 the

01:01:23.420 clarity

01:01:24.340 is the

01:01:24.980 indication

01:01:25.460 of the

01:01:25.820 competence

01:01:26.320 that is

01:01:27.140 why

01:01:27.460 when people

01:01:28.020 are

01:01:28.360 long-winded

01:01:29.420 or

01:01:29.660 they

01:01:29.960 are

01:01:30.240 obfuscating

01:01:30.880 the idea

01:01:31.420 you're

01:01:31.640 like

01:01:31.860 I don't

01:01:32.900 know

01:01:33.020 if

01:01:33.120 they

01:01:33.220 really

01:01:33.360 know

01:01:33.460 what

01:01:33.520 they're

01:01:33.620 talking

01:01:33.880 about

01:01:34.160 and so

01:01:34.500 clarity

01:01:35.120 I think

01:01:35.600 is a

01:01:35.960 symptom

01:01:36.280 of

01:01:36.560 competence

01:01:37.080 and

01:01:37.680 that's

01:01:37.880 why

01:01:38.000 you

01:01:38.140 said

01:01:38.360 if

01:01:38.760 you

01:01:38.860 need

01:01:39.900 notes

01:01:40.160 on

01:01:40.320 stage

01:01:40.800 you

01:01:41.520 don't

01:01:41.660 know

01:01:41.800 your

01:01:41.940 stuff

01:01:42.160 well

01:01:42.360 enough

01:01:42.640 it's

01:01:43.020 the

01:01:43.220 same

01:01:43.500 thing

01:01:43.820 I think

01:01:44.080 when we're

01:01:44.240 talking

01:01:44.460 to a

01:01:44.720 boss

01:01:44.960 someone

01:01:45.520 who has

01:01:45.740 a

01:01:45.880 clear

01:01:46.180 idea

01:01:46.520 of the

01:01:46.760 problem

01:01:47.040 and a

01:01:47.320 clear

01:01:47.520 idea

01:01:47.860 of

01:01:48.000 the

01:01:48.100 solution

01:01:48.420 and

01:01:49.040 by

01:01:49.280 the

01:01:49.380 way

01:01:49.460 this

01:01:49.620 is

01:01:49.720 the

01:01:49.820 most

01:01:50.000 overlooked

01:01:50.300 one

01:01:50.600 knows

01:01:52.500 what

01:01:52.660 they

01:01:52.780 don't

01:01:53.020 know

01:01:53.280 you

01:01:53.920 can

01:01:54.060 also

01:01:54.300 have

01:01:54.520 clarity

01:01:54.840 around

01:01:55.040 which

01:01:55.200 you

01:01:55.320 don't

01:01:55.540 know

01:01:55.800 right

01:01:56.540 we're

01:01:57.280 like

01:01:57.540 ha

01:01:57.880 I

01:01:58.200 can

01:01:58.400 rely

01:01:58.680 on

01:01:58.980 you

01:01:59.180 so

01:01:59.740 you

01:01:59.920 don't

01:02:00.080 have

01:02:00.260 to

01:02:00.380 know

01:02:00.620 everything

01:02:01.180 but

01:02:01.620 you

01:02:01.680 have

01:02:01.800 to

01:02:01.900 know

01:02:02.100 what

01:02:02.280 you

01:02:02.400 know

01:02:02.740 so

01:02:03.680 that

01:02:03.840 when

01:02:04.120 you

01:02:04.240 have

01:02:04.440 precision

01:02:04.780 of

01:02:04.980 word

01:02:05.140 you're

01:02:05.300 able

01:02:05.460 to

01:02:05.620 explain

01:02:05.880 the

01:02:06.000 problem

01:02:06.220 the

01:02:06.360 solution

01:02:06.580 and

01:02:06.980 then

01:02:07.080 you

01:02:07.220 can

01:02:07.360 say

01:02:07.540 you

01:02:07.660 know

01:02:07.780 the

01:02:08.240 biggest

01:02:08.820 question

01:02:09.220 is

01:02:09.460 going

01:02:09.600 to

01:02:09.680 be

01:02:09.920 blank

01:02:10.380 here's

01:02:11.300 how

01:02:11.400 I

01:02:11.500 want

01:02:11.620 to

01:02:11.740 solve

01:02:11.940 that

01:02:12.240 what

01:02:12.740 I

01:02:12.860 don't

01:02:13.180 know

01:02:13.360 is

01:02:13.520 this

01:02:25.040 confident

01:02:25.500 in

01:02:25.840 what

01:02:26.020 you

01:02:26.180 don't

01:02:26.480 know

01:02:26.800 what

01:02:27.440 you're

01:02:27.620 doing

01:02:27.900 is

01:02:28.260 indicating

01:02:29.420 to

01:02:29.680 the

01:02:29.840 person

01:02:30.260 that

01:02:31.080 you're

01:02:31.280 communicating

01:02:31.700 with

01:02:32.100 that

01:02:32.460 you

01:02:33.560 know

01:02:33.720 the

01:02:33.900 difference

01:02:34.300 between

01:02:34.780 your

01:02:35.460 ability

01:02:35.880 and

01:02:36.180 your

01:02:36.320 lack

01:02:36.580 of

01:02:36.700 ability

01:02:37.120 so

01:02:37.820 you

01:02:37.980 won't

01:02:38.180 overstep

01:02:38.820 but

01:02:39.480 it

01:02:39.600 also

01:02:39.900 indicates

01:02:40.400 that

01:02:40.660 you're

01:02:40.900 confident

01:02:41.420 enough

01:02:41.980 in

01:02:42.980 what

01:02:43.240 you

01:02:43.440 know

01:02:43.760 so

01:02:44.400 that

01:02:44.580 you

01:02:44.720 don't

01:02:44.900 have

01:02:45.100 to

01:02:45.280 exaggerate

01:02:46.080 it

01:02:46.220 and

01:02:46.520 that

01:02:47.220 indicates

01:02:47.700 that

01:02:47.940 you

01:02:48.100 genuinely

01:02:48.640 value

01:02:49.220 what

01:02:49.920 it

01:02:50.060 is

01:02:50.220 that

01:02:50.360 you

01:02:50.480 don't

01:02:50.760 know

01:02:51.040 and

01:02:51.400 you're

01:02:51.580 not

01:02:51.920 set

01:02:53.040 back

01:02:53.360 on

01:02:53.520 your

01:02:53.680 heels

01:02:53.940 by

01:02:54.160 the

01:02:54.320 fact

01:02:54.540 that

01:02:54.700 there's

01:02:54.880 many

01:02:55.120 things

01:02:55.440 that

01:02:55.640 you

01:02:55.880 have

01:02:56.840 to

01:02:57.020 learn

01:02:57.240 or

01:02:57.400 still

01:02:57.640 can't

01:02:58.020 do

01:02:58.340 I

01:02:59.240 also

01:02:59.600 think

01:03:00.000 you know

01:03:00.460 I love

01:03:00.960 narrative

01:03:01.320 identity

01:03:01.760 and

01:03:02.280 we're

01:03:02.480 just

01:03:02.740 kind

01:03:03.200 of

01:03:03.300 close

01:03:03.520 to

01:03:03.620 that

01:03:03.740 topic

01:03:04.080 so

01:03:04.260 if

01:03:04.340 I

01:03:04.420 can

01:03:04.520 bring

01:03:04.700 it

01:03:04.800 up

01:03:04.960 here

01:03:05.220 we

01:03:05.980 also

01:03:06.520 love

01:03:07.220 people

01:03:07.640 who

01:03:07.940 have

01:03:08.060 a

01:03:08.240 clear

01:03:08.640 idea

01:03:09.240 of

01:03:09.600 their

01:03:09.780 own

01:03:10.080 story

01:03:10.600 and

01:03:11.960 so

01:03:12.160 I

01:03:12.420 think

01:03:13.200 that

01:03:13.460 going

01:03:13.860 into

01:03:14.220 your

01:03:14.380 boss

01:03:14.800 going

01:03:15.420 into

01:03:15.720 a

01:03:21.400 how

01:03:21.520 you

01:03:21.660 think

01:03:21.820 it's

01:03:22.000 perfect

01:03:22.260 for

01:03:22.540 it

01:03:22.660 is

01:03:22.840 really

01:03:23.080 important

01:03:23.560 that

01:03:24.220 shows

01:03:24.620 a

01:03:24.780 kind

01:03:25.000 of

01:03:25.140 confidence

01:03:25.700 that

01:03:26.140 we

01:03:26.240 really

01:03:26.500 want

01:03:26.820 in

01:03:26.980 people

01:03:27.280 I

01:03:27.900 also

01:03:28.160 think

01:03:28.500 from

01:03:28.900 a

01:03:29.240 mindset

01:03:29.620 perspective

01:03:30.160 it's

01:03:30.700 important

01:03:31.100 to

01:03:31.320 go

01:03:31.540 into

01:03:31.800 your

01:03:32.000 interview

01:03:32.440 to

01:03:32.840 walk

01:03:33.140 on

01:03:33.360 stage

01:03:33.760 to

01:03:33.940 walk

01:03:34.120 into

01:03:34.320 a

01:03:34.500 date

01:03:34.740 thinking

01:03:35.500 you

01:03:35.740 are

01:03:35.880 lucky

01:03:36.300 I

01:03:37.480 believe

01:03:37.900 in

01:03:38.040 the

01:03:38.180 power

01:03:38.520 of

01:03:38.740 luck

01:03:39.060 and

01:03:40.400 if

01:03:40.660 there's

01:03:40.880 a

01:03:41.040 mindset

01:03:41.460 routine

01:03:42.520 I

01:03:42.960 could

01:03:43.200 suggest

01:03:44.200 gently

01:03:44.920 to

01:03:45.160 folks

01:03:45.560 you know

01:03:46.260 I

01:03:46.360 love

01:03:46.560 a

01:03:46.680 power

01:03:46.920 pose

01:03:47.380 sure

01:03:47.740 you

01:03:48.920 know

01:03:49.000 I

01:03:49.100 love

01:03:49.420 you

01:03:49.860 know

01:03:49.960 jumping

01:03:50.180 up

01:03:50.380 on

01:03:50.480 a

01:03:50.580 trampoline

01:03:51.060 that's

01:03:51.400 all

01:03:51.560 great

01:03:51.940 but

01:03:52.440 actually

01:03:52.860 I

01:03:53.100 think

01:03:53.340 the

01:03:53.480 most

01:03:53.660 powerful

01:03:54.140 mental

01:03:54.520 warm-up

01:03:54.840 you

01:03:54.980 can

01:03:55.140 do

01:03:55.380 is

01:03:55.860 reminding

01:03:56.340 yourself

01:03:56.800 of

01:03:56.960 how

01:03:57.120 lucky

01:03:57.400 you

01:03:57.600 are

01:03:57.880 the

01:03:58.920 luck

01:03:59.180 factor

01:03:59.600 is

01:03:59.900 has

01:04:00.200 a

01:04:00.380 major

01:04:00.660 impact

01:04:01.300 on

01:04:01.600 how

01:04:01.820 we

01:04:02.000 come

01:04:02.180 across

01:04:02.640 if

01:04:03.200 you

01:04:03.380 feel

01:04:03.700 lucky

01:04:04.080 as

01:04:04.320 a

01:04:04.440 person

01:04:04.780 it

01:04:05.300 makes

01:04:05.480 you

01:04:05.600 feel

01:04:05.760 more

01:04:05.940 confident

01:04:06.380 it

01:04:06.680 fits

01:04:06.840 into

01:04:07.040 your

01:04:07.200 narrative

01:04:07.540 and

01:04:08.180 we

01:04:08.360 like

01:04:08.740 people

01:04:09.140 who

01:04:09.340 are

01:04:09.440 lucky

01:04:09.780 and

01:04:10.360 so

01:04:10.500 I

01:04:10.640 think

01:04:10.820 that

01:04:11.040 having

01:04:11.540 that

01:04:11.840 idea

01:04:12.340 that

01:04:12.660 you're

01:04:12.940 the

01:04:13.100 perfect

01:04:13.520 person

01:04:13.960 for

01:04:14.160 this

01:04:14.320 position

01:04:14.680 you're

01:04:15.300 in

01:04:15.380 the

01:04:15.540 perfect

01:04:15.940 spot

01:04:16.460 to

01:04:16.960 get

01:04:17.140 this

01:04:17.340 raise

01:04:17.660 you're

01:04:18.180 in

01:04:18.280 the

01:04:18.420 perfect

01:04:18.780 role

01:04:19.320 to

01:04:19.920 be

01:04:20.180 there

01:04:20.500 for

01:04:20.680 your

01:04:20.820 boss

01:04:21.200 that

01:04:21.840 perception

01:04:22.420 is

01:04:22.640 also

01:04:23.020 I'm

01:04:24.040 high

01:04:24.420 neurotic

01:04:24.920 and

01:04:25.400 so

01:04:25.720 I

01:04:26.460 have

01:04:26.720 trouble

01:04:27.440 convincing

01:04:27.900 myself

01:04:28.300 to be

01:04:28.560 optimistic

01:04:28.960 it

01:04:29.220 doesn't

01:04:29.440 really

01:04:29.800 work

01:04:30.060 for

01:04:30.220 me

01:04:30.420 but

01:04:30.900 I

01:04:31.020 can

01:04:31.340 very

01:04:32.540 firmly

01:04:32.880 believe

01:04:33.180 I'm

01:04:33.420 lucky

01:04:33.740 and

01:04:34.260 so

01:04:34.400 I

01:04:34.520 think

01:04:34.720 that

01:04:34.880 luck

01:04:35.080 is

01:04:35.220 sort

01:04:35.360 of

01:04:35.440 a

01:04:35.600 side

01:04:35.900 door

01:04:36.200 into

01:04:36.540 that

01:04:36.780 optimism

01:04:37.900 that

01:04:38.180 we

01:04:38.320 really

01:04:38.600 need

01:04:39.100 in

01:04:39.560 the

01:04:39.920 confidence

01:04:40.280 in

01:04:40.440 these

01:04:40.560 interviews

01:04:40.920 do

01:04:42.100 you

01:04:42.260 think

01:04:42.540 that

01:04:42.760 that's

01:04:43.320 luck

01:04:44.020 or

01:04:44.840 is

01:04:45.780 it

01:04:45.940 better

01:04:46.160 characterized

01:04:46.840 potentially

01:04:47.840 as

01:04:48.200 gratitude

01:04:49.540 gratitude

01:04:51.100 is

01:04:52.000 the

01:04:52.140 opposite

01:04:52.500 of

01:04:52.780 envy

01:04:53.220 well

01:04:54.220 gratitude

01:04:56.420 means

01:04:57.180 that

01:04:57.440 you've

01:04:58.040 searched

01:04:58.600 the

01:04:59.040 narrative

01:04:59.880 territory

01:05:00.600 with

01:05:02.160 regards

01:05:02.540 to

01:05:02.760 the

01:05:02.920 characterization

01:05:03.460 of

01:05:03.940 this

01:05:04.160 event

01:05:04.560 and

01:05:05.500 that

01:05:05.700 you

01:05:05.940 found

01:05:06.700 a

01:05:07.740 place

01:05:08.020 to

01:05:08.280 stand

01:05:08.640 where

01:05:08.900 you're

01:05:09.160 fortunate

01:05:09.660 and

01:05:10.860 pleased

01:05:11.280 about

01:05:11.600 it

01:05:11.960 because

01:05:13.080 you

01:05:13.260 could

01:05:13.460 be

01:05:13.660 terrified

01:05:14.100 when

01:05:14.420 you

01:05:14.520 go in

01:05:14.900 to

01:05:15.580 ask

01:05:15.820 for

01:05:16.020 a

01:05:16.180 raise

01:05:16.440 or

01:05:16.640 you

01:05:16.840 could

01:05:17.080 think

01:05:17.440 I'm

01:05:19.200 fortunate

01:05:19.640 to have

01:05:20.040 a

01:05:20.180 job

01:05:20.600 I'm

01:05:22.100 fortunate

01:05:22.500 to be

01:05:23.080 able to

01:05:23.400 communicate

01:05:25.140 with my

01:05:25.800 boss

01:05:26.200 and I'm

01:05:27.200 fortunate

01:05:27.540 to be

01:05:28.240 in a

01:05:28.440 position

01:05:28.760 where

01:05:29.100 I

01:05:29.700 could

01:05:30.060 ask

01:05:30.840 for

01:05:31.160 a

01:05:31.480 raise

01:05:31.800 or

01:05:31.960 promotion

01:05:32.560 so there's

01:05:34.280 some

01:05:34.460 possibility

01:05:34.980 for

01:05:35.300 advancement

01:05:35.820 where

01:05:36.560 I

01:05:36.760 sit

01:05:37.140 and

01:05:37.700 then

01:05:37.840 you're

01:05:38.040 going

01:05:38.120 to

01:05:38.200 broadcast

01:05:38.560 that

01:05:39.260 well

01:05:40.260 this

01:05:40.960 is

01:05:41.140 a

01:05:41.480 very

01:05:41.680 personal

01:05:42.080 thing

01:05:42.360 so

01:05:42.540 if

01:05:42.880 you

01:05:42.960 don't

01:05:43.080 relate

01:05:43.320 to

01:05:43.480 it

01:05:43.580 that's

01:05:43.820 fine

01:05:44.140 but

01:05:44.440 I

01:05:45.100 think

01:05:45.420 that

01:05:45.740 gratitude

01:05:46.960 in a

01:05:48.040 weird

01:05:48.260 way

01:05:48.600 reminds

01:05:49.180 me

01:05:49.360 of

01:05:49.480 a

01:05:49.580 scarcity

01:05:50.180 so

01:05:51.720 if

01:05:51.860 I

01:05:52.100 think

01:05:52.440 I'm

01:05:52.780 lucky

01:05:53.340 to

01:05:53.540 have

01:05:53.760 this

01:05:53.960 job

01:05:54.340 I'm

01:05:55.740 lucky

01:05:55.960 to

01:05:56.140 have

01:05:56.320 what

01:05:56.420 I

01:05:56.520 get

01:05:56.680 it

01:05:56.880 almost

01:05:57.260 makes

01:05:57.580 me

01:05:57.760 feel

01:05:58.040 like

01:05:58.180 I

01:05:58.380 need

01:05:58.560 to

01:05:58.740 settle

01:05:59.000 for

01:05:59.360 what

01:05:59.520 I

01:05:59.660 have

01:06:00.100 versus

01:06:01.580 luck

01:06:02.140 I

01:06:02.420 feel

01:06:02.740 a lot

01:06:03.060 more

01:06:03.300 opportunity

01:06:04.180 there's

01:06:04.620 opportunity

01:06:05.240 there's

01:06:05.740 abundance

01:06:06.160 if

01:06:06.480 I

01:06:06.660 say

01:06:06.980 I'm

01:06:07.800 a

01:06:07.980 lucky

01:06:08.280 person

01:06:08.940 there

01:06:10.160 is

01:06:10.500 an

01:06:11.560 outward

01:06:12.080 focus

01:06:12.740 of

01:06:13.120 maybe

01:06:13.460 there's

01:06:13.800 more

01:06:14.040 luck

01:06:14.300 to

01:06:14.480 be

01:06:14.640 had

01:06:15.040 versus

01:06:15.800 if

01:06:16.060 I

01:06:16.200 do

01:06:16.360 a

01:06:16.520 gratitude

01:06:17.020 exercise

01:06:17.560 it's

01:06:18.240 almost

01:06:18.560 settling

01:06:19.100 it's

01:06:20.160 almost

01:06:20.400 like

01:06:20.720 hey

01:06:20.960 you're

01:06:21.160 lucky

01:06:21.740 to

01:06:21.920 have

01:06:22.120 what

01:06:22.240 you

01:06:22.380 have

01:06:22.700 I

01:06:22.900 don't

01:06:23.040 know

01:06:23.160 if

01:06:23.260 you

01:06:23.340 should

01:06:23.480 ask

01:06:23.740 for

01:06:23.880 anything

01:06:24.120 more

01:06:24.500 be

01:06:25.400 grateful

01:06:25.980 for

01:06:26.760 the

01:06:26.900 role

01:06:27.080 that

01:06:27.240 you

01:06:27.340 have

01:06:27.720 and

01:06:28.320 so

01:06:28.500 emotionally

01:06:29.340 there's

01:06:29.640 a

01:06:29.800 very

01:06:30.200 subtle

01:06:30.580 difference

01:06:31.180 in

01:06:31.600 the

01:06:31.920 gratitude

01:06:32.380 exercise

01:06:33.000 versus

01:06:33.360 luck

01:06:33.620 I

01:06:33.840 love

01:06:34.120 being

01:06:34.320 grateful

01:06:34.680 but

01:06:35.240 there

01:06:35.400 are

01:06:35.520 times

01:06:35.820 where

01:06:35.980 I

01:06:36.080 think

01:06:36.280 gratitude

01:06:36.800 can

01:06:37.140 almost

01:06:37.580 stifle

01:06:40.320 opportunity

01:06:41.820 well so

01:06:43.660 maybe

01:06:43.940 what you're

01:06:44.340 pointing to

01:06:44.880 is the

01:06:45.260 idea that

01:06:45.800 you should

01:06:46.140 be

01:06:46.340 grateful

01:06:46.760 for

01:06:47.020 the

01:06:47.200 opportunity

01:06:47.900 there

01:06:48.760 you

01:06:48.860 go

01:06:49.100 right

01:06:50.160 right

01:06:50.680 because

01:06:50.900 that

01:06:51.140 would

01:06:51.280 take

01:06:51.980 away

01:06:52.200 that

01:06:52.420 danger

01:06:52.800 of

01:06:53.160 presuming

01:06:54.340 that

01:06:54.540 you

01:06:54.700 should

01:06:54.900 be

01:06:55.100 satisfied

01:06:55.560 with

01:06:55.940 what

01:06:56.240 you

01:06:56.380 have

01:06:56.760 only

01:06:57.440 as we

01:06:59.140 celebrate

01:06:59.560 independence

01:07:00.060 day

01:07:00.320 this

01:07:00.540 july

01:07:00.920 we're

01:07:01.180 reminded

01:07:01.480 of the

01:07:01.780 freedoms

01:07:02.140 our

01:07:02.460 founders

01:07:02.760 fought

01:07:03.040 to

01:07:03.180 protect

01:07:03.560 especially

01:07:04.100 the

01:07:04.340 fundamental

01:07:04.580 right

01:07:04.840 to

01:07:05.000 life

01:07:05.320 liberty

01:07:05.860 and

01:07:06.300 the

01:07:06.440 pursuit

01:07:06.760 of

01:07:06.980 happiness

01:07:07.340 but

01:07:07.960 here's

01:07:08.140 something

01:07:08.300 that

01:07:08.460 might

01:07:08.600 surprise

01:07:08.940 you

01:07:09.140 there

01:07:09.620 are

01:07:09.740 still

01:07:09.960 Americans

01:07:10.460 today

01:07:10.800 whose

01:07:11.040 most

01:07:11.240 basic

01:07:11.640 right

01:07:11.940 the

01:07:12.300 right

01:07:12.440 to

01:07:12.560 life

01:07:12.700 itself

01:07:13.140 is

01:07:13.800 at

01:07:14.080 risk

01:07:14.380 that's

01:07:14.680 where

01:07:14.800 pre-born

01:07:15.160 comes

01:07:15.460 in

01:07:15.640 they're

01:07:15.900 doing

01:07:16.080 incredible

01:07:16.500 work

01:07:16.780 through

01:07:16.920 their

01:07:17.060 network

01:07:17.420 of

01:07:17.600 clinics

01:07:17.920 offering

01:07:18.340 free

01:07:18.640 ultrasounds

01:07:19.120 to

01:07:19.320 women 1.00

01:07:19.520 facing

01:07:19.900 unplanned

01:07:20.440 pregnancies

01:07:20.980 and

01:07:21.340 here's

01:07:21.560 what's

01:07:21.860 absolutely

01:07:22.260 amazing

01:07:22.680 these

01:07:22.980 ultrasounds

01:07:23.460 don't

01:07:23.740 just

01:07:23.880 provide

01:07:24.160 medical

01:07:24.480 care

01:07:24.740 they're

01:07:24.980 actually

01:07:25.360 saving

01:07:25.700 lives

01:07:26.120 when a mom

01:07:26.620 sees her

01:07:27.020 baby on

01:07:27.520 that screen

01:07:28.040 here's the

01:07:28.480 heartbeat

01:07:28.760 for the first

01:07:29.220 time

01:07:29.560 everything

01:07:30.240 changes

01:07:30.840 but

01:07:31.260 pre-born

01:07:31.700 isn't just

01:07:32.280 about the

01:07:32.620 baby

01:07:32.840 they truly

01:07:33.400 care for

01:07:33.780 these

01:07:33.940 women 1.00

01:07:34.140 as well

01:07:34.540 they provide

01:07:35.140 love

01:07:35.540 support

01:07:36.000 and resources

01:07:36.760 during what

01:07:37.280 can be an

01:07:37.600 incredibly

01:07:37.980 difficult

01:07:38.500 time

01:07:38.900 look

01:07:39.240 we

01:07:39.380 really

01:07:39.640 believe

01:07:39.960 what

01:07:40.080 the

01:07:40.200 constitution

01:07:40.620 says

01:07:41.160 that all

01:07:41.600 people

01:07:41.940 are created

01:07:42.360 equal

01:07:42.780 with

01:07:43.020 unalienable

01:07:43.640 rights

01:07:44.000 then this

01:07:44.640 has to

01:07:45.040 include

01:07:45.320 the smallest

01:07:45.820 most vulnerable

01:07:46.500 among us

01:07:47.200 these babies

01:07:47.900 deserve the

01:07:48.420 same rights

01:07:48.900 that our

01:07:49.180 founders

01:07:49.480 declared

01:07:49.920 life

01:07:50.440 liberty

01:07:50.880 and the

01:07:51.360 pursuit

01:07:51.600 of happiness

01:07:52.000 you can be

01:07:52.800 part of that

01:07:53.160 mission for

01:07:53.600 just $28

01:07:54.200 that's the

01:07:55.360 cost of a

01:07:55.920 life-saving

01:07:56.420 ultrasound

01:07:56.800 or you can

01:07:57.780 sponsor five

01:07:58.460 ultrasounds

01:07:58.980 for $140

01:07:59.880 to donate

01:08:00.840 just dial

01:08:01.320 pound 250

01:08:02.200 and say

01:08:02.800 baby

01:08:03.260 that's pound

01:08:04.060 250

01:08:04.460 baby

01:08:05.060 or visit

01:08:05.700 preborn.com

01:08:06.760 slash

01:08:07.000 jordan

01:08:07.300 that's

01:08:07.840 preborn.com

01:08:08.860 slash

01:08:09.160 jordan

01:08:09.480 right

01:08:12.380 i'm satisfied

01:08:13.120 with what

01:08:13.560 i have

01:08:13.860 but

01:08:14.060 i want

01:08:15.060 more

01:08:15.960 what

01:08:16.300 i want

01:08:16.760 more

01:08:16.980 opportunity

01:08:17.480 i want

01:08:17.860 more

01:08:18.040 adventure

01:08:18.460 i want

01:08:18.860 more

01:08:19.060 responsibility

01:08:19.840 i can

01:08:20.740 do

01:08:20.920 more

01:08:21.160 right

01:08:21.400 i want

01:08:21.920 it

01:08:22.100 yeah

01:08:22.320 exactly

01:08:22.860 i can

01:08:23.420 do

01:08:23.600 yes

01:08:24.120 and i think

01:08:24.600 that's the

01:08:25.220 attitude

01:08:25.480 to walk

01:08:25.860 into

01:08:26.080 i can

01:08:26.520 do

01:08:26.700 more

01:08:27.000 right

01:08:28.080 i can

01:08:28.900 do

01:08:29.060 more

01:08:29.300 and that

01:08:29.580 would be

01:08:29.880 good

01:08:30.060 for you

01:08:30.540 to

01:08:30.880 to put

01:08:31.980 me

01:08:32.100 in a

01:08:32.280 position

01:08:32.560 where

01:08:32.740 that

01:08:32.900 was

01:08:33.040 the

01:08:33.180 case

01:08:33.500 not least

01:08:34.360 because

01:08:34.640 i would

01:08:35.000 take

01:08:35.320 a variety

01:08:36.180 of

01:08:36.500 potential

01:08:37.540 problems

01:08:38.000 off

01:08:38.280 your

01:08:38.540 plate

01:08:39.040 and

01:08:40.080 because

01:08:40.760 certainly

01:08:41.180 bosses

01:08:41.540 are

01:08:41.760 looking

01:08:41.940 for

01:08:42.140 that

01:08:42.340 all

01:08:42.500 the

01:08:42.640 time

01:08:42.920 and

01:08:44.400 enable

01:08:45.220 you

01:08:45.520 to do

01:08:46.140 what

01:08:46.880 you're

01:08:47.160 best

01:08:47.500 at

01:08:47.820 more

01:08:48.120 effectively

01:08:49.040 right

01:08:51.200 let's

01:08:51.820 talk

01:08:52.100 about

01:08:52.480 first

01:08:53.500 greetings

01:08:54.420 first

01:08:54.780 impressions

01:08:55.280 so

01:08:55.640 i

01:08:56.500 meet

01:08:57.540 many

01:08:57.820 people

01:08:58.180 after

01:08:58.560 my

01:08:58.980 lectures

01:09:00.040 i have

01:09:01.200 a meet

01:09:01.500 and greet

01:09:01.840 so

01:09:02.400 i've

01:09:03.240 probably

01:09:03.660 shaken

01:09:05.120 hands

01:09:05.540 with

01:09:05.960 20,000

01:09:09.140 people

01:09:09.540 in the

01:09:10.760 last

01:09:11.180 four or

01:09:13.220 five

01:09:13.440 years

01:09:13.760 maybe

01:09:14.040 more

01:09:14.340 than

01:09:14.520 that

01:09:14.860 could

01:09:16.580 be

01:09:16.760 50,000

01:09:17.500 i'd

01:09:17.800 have

01:09:17.940 to

01:09:18.040 do

01:09:18.160 the

01:09:18.300 mathematics

01:09:18.780 but

01:09:19.180 and i

01:09:21.560 also

01:09:21.900 learned

01:09:22.440 to pay

01:09:22.900 attention

01:09:23.240 to this

01:09:23.720 as a

01:09:24.160 therapist

01:09:24.480 because

01:09:24.940 you

01:09:25.360 want

01:09:25.520 to

01:09:25.620 put

01:09:25.760 people

01:09:26.160 at

01:09:27.420 ease

01:09:27.820 relatively

01:09:30.080 quickly

01:09:30.620 the

01:09:31.840 first

01:09:32.160 impressions

01:09:32.680 matter

01:09:33.140 because

01:09:33.400 they

01:09:33.560 set

01:09:33.820 the

01:09:34.040 stage

01:09:34.500 right

01:09:34.840 so

01:09:35.820 when

01:09:36.040 someone

01:09:36.340 new

01:09:36.640 walks

01:09:36.960 into

01:09:37.200 your

01:09:37.580 office

01:09:38.520 if

01:09:38.860 you're

01:09:39.040 a

01:09:39.180 therapist

01:09:39.460 you

01:09:39.680 don't

01:09:39.880 want

01:09:40.040 to

01:09:40.120 be

01:09:40.240 thinking

01:09:40.600 oh

01:09:41.280 my

01:09:41.420 god

01:09:41.680 here

01:09:41.880 comes

01:09:42.160 another

01:09:42.560 panoply

01:09:43.780 of

01:09:43.980 problems

01:09:44.540 you

01:09:45.620 want

01:09:45.800 to

01:09:45.880 be

01:09:46.000 thinking

01:09:46.340 this

01:09:47.440 is

01:09:47.600 going

01:09:47.780 to

01:09:47.900 be

01:09:48.060 interesting

01:09:48.560 and

01:09:49.160 hopefully

01:09:50.600 i

01:09:50.800 can

01:09:50.920 be

01:09:51.060 helpful

01:09:51.320 to

01:09:51.520 this

01:09:51.740 person

01:09:52.140 and

01:09:52.560 i

01:09:52.720 would

01:09:52.860 like

01:09:53.060 them

01:09:53.240 to

01:09:53.500 i'd

01:09:54.380 like

01:09:54.520 to

01:09:54.640 do

01:09:54.760 that

01:09:54.960 as

01:09:55.100 quickly

01:09:55.380 and

01:09:55.620 efficiently

01:09:56.020 as

01:09:56.300 possible

01:09:56.720 and

01:09:57.020 it'd

01:09:57.840 be

01:09:57.920 good

01:09:58.060 to

01:09:58.180 get

01:09:58.320 the

01:09:58.480 ball

01:10:04.840 out

01:10:05.060 now

01:10:06.100 when

01:10:07.320 i

01:10:07.600 watch

01:10:08.900 someone

01:10:09.240 approach

01:10:09.640 me

01:10:09.860 to

01:10:10.040 shake

01:10:10.240 my

01:10:10.440 hand

01:10:10.840 it's

01:10:13.000 like

01:10:13.180 the

01:10:13.340 introduction

01:10:13.760 to

01:10:14.060 a

01:10:14.260 dance

01:10:14.760 and

01:10:16.020 so

01:10:16.120 you

01:10:16.280 have

01:10:16.480 to

01:10:16.660 specify

01:10:17.200 the

01:10:17.560 space

01:10:18.080 so

01:10:18.360 i guess

01:10:19.160 you

01:10:19.300 use

01:10:19.520 your

01:10:19.700 eyes

01:10:20.060 and

01:10:20.240 your

01:10:20.400 body

01:10:20.880 you

01:10:22.320 turn

01:10:22.580 your

01:10:22.740 body

01:10:22.980 towards

01:10:23.320 the

01:10:23.520 person

01:10:23.880 you

01:10:24.640 make

01:10:24.840 eye

01:10:25.080 contact

01:10:25.380 with

01:10:25.800 them

01:10:26.040 and

01:10:27.620 that

01:10:28.840 defines

01:10:29.360 a

01:10:29.540 shared

01:10:29.800 space

01:10:30.380 right

01:10:30.680 away

01:10:30.960 and

01:10:32.100 then

01:10:32.400 i

01:10:33.580 match

01:10:33.980 my

01:10:34.240 tempo

01:10:34.620 to

01:10:34.860 their

01:10:35.120 tempo

01:10:35.520 so

01:10:36.940 people

01:10:37.680 will

01:10:37.920 have

01:10:38.100 a

01:10:38.260 characteristic

01:10:38.800 pace

01:10:39.660 at

01:10:39.880 which

01:10:40.080 they

01:10:40.300 approach

01:10:40.820 and

01:10:41.760 that's

01:10:42.020 like

01:10:42.180 the

01:10:42.400 rhythm

01:10:42.700 of

01:10:42.980 their

01:10:43.380 apprehension

01:10:45.160 and

01:10:46.260 if

01:10:47.720 you

01:10:48.040 put

01:10:48.880 your

01:10:49.120 hand

01:10:49.500 out

01:10:49.700 at

01:10:49.880 the

01:10:50.060 same

01:10:50.320 rate

01:10:50.620 they

01:10:50.820 put

01:10:51.060 their

01:10:51.280 hand

01:10:51.580 out

01:10:51.880 when

01:10:53.520 you

01:10:53.680 shake

01:10:53.940 hands

01:10:54.340 then

01:10:54.680 you've

01:10:55.900 indicated

01:10:56.360 that

01:10:56.980 you

01:10:57.320 attended

01:10:57.920 to

01:10:58.140 them

01:10:58.300 enough

01:10:58.580 to

01:10:58.820 adopt

01:10:59.220 their

01:10:59.500 tempo

01:11:00.000 immediately

01:11:01.220 and

01:11:02.520 then

01:11:02.820 you

01:11:05.080 shake

01:11:05.420 hands

01:11:05.860 with

01:11:07.080 a

01:11:07.260 firm

01:11:07.500 grip

01:11:07.840 but

01:11:08.280 you

01:11:08.800 modulate

01:11:09.400 that

01:11:09.780 like

01:11:10.080 you

01:11:10.200 should

01:11:10.320 have

01:11:10.460 a

01:11:10.640 default

01:11:11.160 firmness

01:11:11.840 of

01:11:12.020 grip

01:11:12.380 which

01:11:13.000 should

01:11:13.180 be

01:11:14.200 tight

01:11:16.280 enough

01:11:16.560 to pick

01:11:16.900 up

01:11:17.080 a

01:11:17.220 relatively

01:11:17.720 let's

01:11:18.380 say

01:11:18.660 I

01:11:19.500 don't

01:11:19.600 know

01:11:19.740 a

01:11:19.880 10

01:11:20.120 pound

01:11:20.380 object

01:11:20.800 something

01:11:21.140 like

01:11:21.420 that

01:11:21.760 and

01:11:23.000 but

01:11:23.340 you

01:11:23.500 should

01:11:23.700 modulate

01:11:24.280 that

01:11:24.720 in

01:11:25.740 accordance

01:11:26.120 with

01:11:26.400 the

01:11:26.540 grip

01:11:26.720 strength

01:11:27.120 of

01:11:27.420 the

01:11:27.880 person

01:11:28.200 that

01:11:28.420 you're

01:11:29.660 communicating

01:11:30.240 with

01:11:30.820 right

01:11:32.080 and

01:11:32.200 then

01:11:32.360 I

01:11:32.560 ask

01:11:32.860 people

01:11:33.180 their

01:11:33.420 name

01:11:33.860 because

01:11:34.780 even

01:11:36.360 the

01:11:36.580 most

01:11:36.820 nervous

01:11:37.120 person

01:11:37.580 can

01:11:37.800 usually

01:11:38.120 remember

01:11:38.540 their

01:11:38.780 name

01:11:39.120 and

01:11:40.360 then

01:11:40.720 I

01:11:42.660 tell

01:11:42.900 them

01:11:43.080 that

01:11:43.260 I'm

01:11:43.480 happy

01:11:43.800 that

01:11:44.060 they're

01:11:44.840 there

01:11:45.180 and

01:11:46.340 pleased

01:11:46.700 about

01:11:47.000 that

01:11:47.320 and

01:11:47.540 I

01:11:47.800 mean

01:11:48.100 it

01:11:48.340 and

01:11:49.200 then

01:11:49.500 that

01:11:50.960 usually

01:11:51.940 establishes

01:11:52.700 a little

01:11:52.980 bit

01:11:53.180 of

01:11:53.760 instantaneous

01:11:55.420 intimacy

01:11:56.300 and

01:11:56.740 both

01:11:57.700 players

01:11:58.180 can walk

01:11:58.740 away

01:11:59.140 satisfied

01:12:00.820 with

01:12:01.220 the

01:12:01.360 interaction

01:12:01.860 even

01:12:02.120 though

01:12:02.300 it's

01:12:02.480 brief

01:12:02.880 so

01:12:03.740 tell

01:12:06.160 me

01:12:06.360 about

01:12:06.740 introducing

01:12:07.820 yourself

01:12:08.320 and

01:12:08.740 what's

01:12:10.100 most

01:12:10.340 effective

01:12:10.780 in that

01:12:11.160 regard

01:12:11.560 I

01:12:12.500 also

01:12:12.880 wanted

01:12:13.280 to

01:12:13.460 share

01:12:13.640 a little

01:12:13.920 tip

01:12:14.300 that

01:12:14.480 I

01:12:14.620 learned

01:12:14.860 from

01:12:15.080 Jerry

01:12:15.380 Seinfeld

01:12:15.900 the

01:12:16.060 comedian

01:12:16.380 who

01:12:17.260 said

01:12:17.480 he

01:12:17.660 meets

01:12:18.000 thousands

01:12:18.400 and

01:12:18.640 thousands

01:12:18.860 of

01:12:19.080 people

01:12:19.360 and

01:12:19.520 because

01:12:19.840 he's

01:12:20.240 quite

01:12:20.740 famous

01:12:21.100 he

01:12:21.400 tends

01:12:21.840 to

01:12:22.020 intimidate

01:12:22.400 people

01:12:22.700 which

01:12:23.020 I

01:12:23.640 don't

01:12:23.720 know

01:12:23.840 if

01:12:24.020 you

01:12:24.140 have

01:12:24.360 that

01:12:24.520 with

01:12:24.680 folks

01:12:24.980 he

01:12:25.600 has

01:12:25.780 a

01:12:25.900 trick

01:12:26.140 he

01:12:26.320 uses

01:12:26.640 where

01:12:29.140 they

01:12:30.360 get

01:12:30.580 too

01:12:31.160 nervous

01:12:31.540 name

01:12:32.020 is

01:12:32.180 good

01:12:32.360 he

01:12:32.560 always

01:12:32.940 then

01:12:33.360 asks

01:12:33.840 a

01:12:34.120 numbers

01:12:34.560 based

01:12:34.960 question

01:12:35.460 because

01:12:36.480 it

01:12:36.680 kind

01:12:37.420 of

01:12:37.540 accesses

01:12:38.020 a part

01:12:38.280 of

01:12:38.360 the

01:12:38.460 brain

01:12:38.700 that

01:12:38.880 is

01:12:39.060 very

01:12:39.440 logical

01:12:39.920 so

01:12:40.640 he'll

01:12:40.820 say

01:12:40.980 how long

01:12:41.400 have you

01:12:41.540 been

01:12:41.660 married

01:12:41.980 how long

01:12:42.820 have you

01:12:43.000 lived

01:12:43.160 in

01:12:43.300 Toronto

01:12:43.660 how long

01:12:45.060 have you

01:12:45.260 been

01:12:45.440 here

01:12:45.780 how far

01:12:47.000 away

01:12:47.180 do

01:12:47.300 you

01:12:47.380 live

01:12:47.540 from

01:12:47.680 the

01:12:47.800 venue

01:12:48.060 he

01:12:48.400 asks

01:12:48.640 a

01:12:48.780 numbers

01:12:49.040 based

01:12:49.220 question

01:12:49.520 which

01:12:49.740 is

01:12:50.000 a

01:12:50.440 way

01:12:50.720 for

01:12:50.900 them

01:12:51.060 to

01:12:51.220 find

01:12:51.760 themselves

01:12:52.260 to

01:12:52.500 then

01:12:52.660 be

01:12:52.820 able

01:12:52.980 to

01:12:53.160 tell

01:12:53.320 a

01:12:53.460 story

01:12:53.680 about

01:12:53.920 their

01:12:54.100 marriage

01:12:54.420 or

01:12:54.580 how long

01:12:55.140 they

01:12:55.600 lived

01:12:55.780 there

01:12:55.960 or

01:12:56.080 how long

01:12:56.360 it took

01:12:56.560 to get

01:12:56.800 there

01:12:57.040 so

01:12:57.860 that's

01:12:58.000 a little

01:12:58.260 tip

01:12:58.940 for

01:12:59.100 anyone

01:12:59.400 who

01:12:59.680 is

01:12:59.980 talking

01:13:00.980 to

01:13:01.200 a

01:13:01.320 nervous

01:13:01.560 person

01:13:02.020 sometimes

01:13:02.620 numbers

01:13:02.960 can

01:13:03.140 be

01:13:03.240 good

01:13:03.440 you know

01:13:04.180 it's

01:13:04.360 funny

01:13:04.540 you

01:13:04.720 walked

01:13:05.040 me

01:13:05.240 through

01:13:05.440 your

01:13:05.860 introduction

01:13:06.520 process

01:13:07.040 and

01:13:07.320 there's

01:13:07.520 one

01:13:08.020 piece

01:13:08.620 that

01:13:09.220 you

01:13:09.420 missed

01:13:09.900 for

01:13:10.320 awkward

01:13:10.640 people

01:13:11.060 so

01:13:12.340 for

01:13:12.540 awkward

01:13:12.800 people

01:13:13.100 like

01:13:13.360 me

01:13:13.600 there's

01:13:13.940 a

01:13:14.120 terrible

01:13:14.580 moment

01:13:15.160 that

01:13:16.040 happens

01:13:16.620 between

01:13:17.360 eye

01:13:18.220 contact

01:13:18.860 and

01:13:20.020 greeting

01:13:20.800 which

01:13:21.740 is

01:13:22.080 are

01:13:22.740 we

01:13:22.920 going

01:13:23.080 to

01:13:23.200 handshake

01:13:23.760 hug

01:13:24.160 cheek

01:13:24.580 kiss

01:13:24.880 or

01:13:25.060 fist

01:13:25.360 bump

01:13:25.680 or

01:13:26.440 wave

01:13:26.800 and

01:13:27.940 for

01:13:28.120 an

01:13:28.260 awkward

01:13:28.520 person

01:13:28.880 I

01:13:29.200 agonize

01:13:30.120 in

01:13:30.400 those

01:13:30.600 first

01:13:30.860 few

01:13:31.060 seconds

01:13:31.380 and

01:13:31.800 if

01:13:32.000 you

01:13:32.120 do

01:13:32.280 it

01:13:32.440 wrong

01:13:32.780 you're

01:13:33.280 going

01:13:33.380 to

01:13:33.480 end

01:13:33.640 up

01:13:33.800 in

01:13:33.900 an

01:13:34.020 awkward

01:13:34.280 side

01:13:34.620 hug

01:13:34.840 and

01:13:35.740 so

01:13:35.940 what

01:13:36.140 I

01:13:36.300 say

01:13:36.480 to

01:13:36.600 people

01:13:36.860 is

01:13:37.140 I

01:13:37.840 actually

01:13:38.200 don't

01:13:39.000 want

01:13:39.340 you

01:13:39.520 to

01:13:39.800 match

01:13:40.280 them

01:13:40.720 in

01:13:41.020 terms

01:13:41.260 of

01:13:41.400 the

01:13:41.500 greeting

01:13:41.800 I

01:13:42.640 think

01:13:42.940 it's

01:13:43.160 better

01:13:43.400 to

01:13:48.220 if

01:13:48.540 you

01:13:48.740 want

01:13:48.940 a

01:13:49.040 handshake

01:13:49.460 clarity

01:13:50.440 of

01:13:50.960 signal

01:13:51.340 we

01:13:51.720 know

01:13:52.200 that

01:13:52.800 human

01:13:53.100 to

01:13:53.260 human

01:13:53.480 if

01:13:53.660 I'm

01:13:53.880 going

01:13:53.960 to

01:13:54.060 stick

01:13:54.260 my

01:13:54.460 hand

01:13:54.680 out

01:13:54.860 towards

01:13:55.160 you

01:13:55.320 and

01:13:55.440 slightly

01:13:55.700 blade

01:13:56.060 my

01:13:56.260 body

01:13:56.540 I

01:13:56.820 want

01:13:57.020 a

01:13:57.140 handshake

01:13:57.440 and

01:13:57.560 I'm

01:13:57.680 coming

01:13:57.900 in

01:13:58.060 for

01:13:58.180 a

01:13:58.300 handshake

01:13:58.660 if

01:13:59.240 someone

01:13:59.540 doesn't

01:13:59.920 want

01:14:00.060 a

01:14:00.180 handshake

01:14:00.680 they'll

01:14:01.340 go

01:14:01.680 like

01:14:01.860 this

01:14:02.140 they'll

01:14:02.500 wave

01:14:02.660 at

01:14:02.740 you

01:14:02.920 and

01:14:03.900 then

01:14:04.020 you

01:14:04.140 can

01:14:04.300 change

01:14:04.620 to

01:14:04.840 oh

01:14:05.060 yep

01:14:05.420 good

01:14:05.700 to

01:14:05.840 see

01:14:05.960 you

01:14:06.160 so

01:14:06.900 if

01:14:07.140 I

01:14:07.320 want

01:14:07.500 a

01:14:18.220 handshake

01:14:18.880 if

01:14:19.360 you

01:14:19.620 want

01:14:19.860 to

01:14:19.980 hug

01:14:20.240 and

01:14:20.520 this

01:14:20.720 is

01:14:20.900 for

01:14:21.240 huggers

01:14:21.680 please

01:14:22.140 keep

01:14:23.340 this

01:14:23.500 in

01:14:23.620 mind

01:14:23.840 not

01:14:24.500 everyone

01:14:24.860 is

01:14:25.060 a

01:14:25.160 hugger

01:14:25.400 and

01:14:26.080 you

01:14:26.340 don't

01:14:26.580 want

01:14:26.780 to

01:14:26.840 be

01:14:26.980 stuck

01:14:27.200 in

01:14:27.320 the

01:14:27.400 position

01:14:27.660 of

01:14:27.820 someone

01:14:28.040 going

01:14:28.360 and

01:14:29.800 freezing

01:14:30.440 up

01:14:30.740 of

01:14:30.940 creating

01:14:31.520 that

01:14:31.780 kind

01:14:32.040 of

01:14:32.160 prey

01:14:32.340 behavior

01:14:32.740 so

01:14:33.360 what

01:14:33.500 I

01:14:33.620 recommend

01:14:33.960 if

01:14:34.200 you

01:14:34.300 want

01:14:34.460 to

01:14:34.560 hug

01:14:34.780 do

01:14:35.860 the

01:14:36.040 open

01:14:36.340 palm

01:14:36.600 we

01:14:36.780 recognize

01:14:37.260 universally

01:14:37.760 if

01:14:37.940 someone's

01:14:38.260 coming

01:14:38.580 at

01:14:38.800 us

01:14:38.940 with

01:14:39.080 two

01:14:39.300 open

01:14:39.620 palms

01:14:39.960 they

01:14:40.460 are

01:14:40.600 coming

01:14:48.220 they

01:14:48.400 take

01:14:49.380 a step

01:14:49.660 back

01:14:50.000 or

01:14:50.180 taking

01:14:50.380 a deep

01:14:50.640 breath

01:14:50.940 I

01:14:51.220 want

01:14:51.400 you

01:14:51.480 to

01:14:51.620 pivot

01:14:51.860 to

01:14:52.220 so

01:14:52.600 good

01:14:52.780 to

01:14:52.920 see

01:14:53.080 you

01:14:53.280 so

01:14:54.200 you're

01:14:54.340 going

01:14:54.420 to

01:14:54.500 start

01:14:54.720 off

01:14:55.000 by

01:14:55.180 showing

01:14:55.520 that

01:14:55.740 hug

01:14:56.020 cue

01:14:56.280 you're

01:14:56.500 coming

01:14:56.760 in

01:14:56.940 for

01:14:57.040 the

01:14:57.160 hug

01:14:57.380 if

01:14:57.860 they

01:14:58.000 immediately

01:14:58.420 reciprocate

01:14:59.080 it

01:14:59.260 great

01:15:00.220 you're

01:15:00.840 good

01:15:01.100 for

01:15:01.280 a

01:15:01.440 hug

01:15:01.640 if

01:15:02.220 they

01:15:02.400 either

01:15:02.700 freeze

01:15:03.280 hide

01:15:03.680 their

01:15:03.920 hands

01:15:04.340 slow

01:15:04.760 down

01:15:05.120 or

01:15:05.280 show

01:15:05.480 the

01:15:05.620 fear

01:15:05.800 response

01:15:06.280 you

01:15:06.740 should

01:15:06.980 then

01:15:07.380 change

01:15:07.820 to

01:15:07.980 a

01:15:08.100 handshake

01:15:08.580 that

01:15:09.940 little

01:15:10.400 those

01:15:10.980 two

01:15:11.340 seconds

01:15:11.820 you

01:15:12.060 have

01:15:12.220 given

01:15:12.500 them

01:15:12.720 a

01:15:12.920 gift

01:15:13.280 of

01:15:14.060 being

01:15:14.380 clear

01:15:14.860 with

01:15:15.060 the

01:15:15.180 kind

01:15:15.320 of

01:15:15.420 greeting

01:15:15.580 you

01:15:15.780 want

01:15:16.020 and

01:15:16.220 you're

01:15:16.380 going

01:15:16.480 to

01:15:16.580 get

01:15:16.840 more

01:15:17.080 oxytocin

01:15:17.800 from

01:15:18.040 it

01:15:18.260 if

01:15:19.260 unwanted

01:15:20.100 touch

01:15:20.480 happens

01:15:20.900 or

01:15:21.240 awkward

01:15:21.660 touch

01:15:21.980 happens

01:15:22.340 it's

01:15:22.720 worse

01:15:23.300 than

01:15:24.360 having

01:15:24.620 no

01:15:24.800 touch

01:15:25.000 at

01:15:25.100 all

01:15:25.180 because

01:15:25.360 you're

01:15:25.540 actually

01:15:25.800 going

01:15:25.920 to

01:15:26.000 create

01:15:26.200 cortisol

01:15:26.660 we're

01:15:27.200 going

01:15:27.260 to

01:15:27.280 make

01:15:27.400 someone

01:15:27.620 stressed

01:15:28.080 or

01:15:28.280 adrenaline

01:15:28.900 even

01:15:29.220 worse

01:15:29.580 so

01:15:30.180 getting

01:15:30.780 ready

01:15:31.080 for that

01:15:31.380 first

01:15:31.640 touch

01:15:31.880 is

01:15:32.000 a

01:15:32.120 really

01:15:32.300 critical

01:15:32.680 piece

01:15:33.180 and

01:15:33.400 then

01:15:33.540 a

01:15:33.780 couple

01:15:33.960 notes

01:15:34.260 on

01:15:34.380 the

01:15:34.500 handshake

01:15:34.920 because

01:15:35.320 I

01:15:36.300 think

01:15:36.840 I

01:15:37.920 learned

01:15:38.520 growing up

01:15:38.980 how to

01:15:39.200 handshake

01:15:39.520 like

01:15:39.680 my dad

01:15:40.100 sat

01:15:40.300 me

01:15:40.440 down

01:15:40.660 and

01:15:40.820 said

01:15:40.980 here's

01:15:41.240 how

01:15:41.340 you

01:15:41.440 handshake

01:15:41.840 but

01:15:42.380 I'm

01:15:42.580 noticing

01:15:42.920 a lot

01:15:43.240 of

01:15:43.320 my

01:15:43.520 younger

01:15:44.120 students

01:15:44.480 they

01:15:44.660 haven't

01:15:44.900 had

01:15:45.160 the

01:15:45.280 handshake

01:15:45.640 lesson

01:15:45.960 and

01:15:46.100 they're

01:15:46.240 handshaking

01:15:46.680 less

01:15:47.000 so

01:15:47.220 if

01:15:47.760 I

01:15:47.860 could

01:15:48.040 share

01:15:48.400 there's

01:15:48.900 a

01:15:49.260 mechanics

01:15:49.700 to

01:15:50.040 a

01:15:50.140 handshake

01:15:50.520 which

01:15:50.800 is

01:15:51.060 you

01:15:51.660 always

01:15:51.980 want

01:15:52.160 to

01:15:52.260 offer

01:15:52.480 vertically

01:15:52.940 so

01:15:53.680 up

01:15:53.900 and

01:15:54.020 down

01:15:54.340 thumb

01:15:54.720 pointed

01:15:55.060 towards

01:15:55.400 the

01:15:55.600 sky

01:15:55.860 you

01:15:56.380 never

01:15:56.620 want

01:15:56.820 to

01:15:56.920 offer

01:15:57.100 your

01:15:57.300 hand

01:15:57.560 up

01:15:57.820 it's

01:15:58.000 a

01:15:58.120 submissive

01:15:58.560 gesture

01:15:58.940 you

01:15:59.480 never

01:15:59.680 want

01:15:59.840 to

01:15:59.920 offer

01:16:00.140 your

01:16:00.300 hand

01:16:00.640 palm

01:16:01.420 pointed

01:16:01.720 down

01:16:02.000 it's

01:16:02.200 a

01:16:02.300 dominance

01:16:02.640 gesture

01:16:03.040 so

01:16:03.620 you're

01:16:03.760 going

01:16:03.820 to

01:16:03.900 offer

01:16:04.120 it

01:16:04.280 vertical

01:16:04.660 you're

01:16:05.300 going

01:16:05.380 to

01:16:05.460 grip

01:16:05.660 them

01:16:05.900 I

01:16:06.180 always

01:16:06.420 say

01:16:06.580 I

01:16:06.680 like

01:16:06.880 your

01:16:07.080 analogy

01:16:08.180 of

01:16:08.360 picking

01:16:08.540 up

01:16:08.680 a

01:16:08.800 10

01:16:08.980 pound

01:16:09.140 object

01:16:09.440 I

01:16:09.680 say

01:16:09.920 squeeze

01:16:10.300 them

01:16:10.480 like

01:16:10.660 you're

01:16:10.820 squeezing

01:16:11.100 a

01:16:11.300 peach

01:16:11.640 squeeze

01:16:13.300 until

01:16:13.540 you feel

01:16:13.860 a little

01:16:14.040 firmness

01:16:14.640 right

01:16:15.060 so

01:16:15.200 you're

01:16:15.300 going

01:16:15.380 to

01:16:15.520 squeeze

01:16:16.240 with

01:16:16.420 a

01:16:16.520 little

01:16:16.620 firmness

01:16:17.020 then

01:16:17.940 interestingly

01:16:18.540 usually

01:16:19.440 if you're

01:16:19.760 meeting

01:16:19.960 someone

01:16:20.240 for the

01:16:20.600 first

01:16:20.820 time

01:16:21.140 it's

01:16:21.420 three

01:16:21.620 pumps

01:16:22.040 one

01:16:22.540 two

01:16:22.740 three

01:16:23.080 nice

01:16:23.400 to

01:16:23.560 meet

01:16:23.720 you

01:16:23.920 if

01:16:24.920 you

01:16:25.060 already

01:16:25.400 know

01:16:25.700 someone

01:16:26.140 often

01:16:26.840 it's

01:16:27.140 one

01:16:27.460 so

01:16:27.920 good

01:16:28.080 to

01:16:28.220 see

01:16:28.360 you

01:16:28.600 so

01:16:30.100 if

01:16:30.260 you're

01:16:30.380 thinking

01:16:30.600 about

01:16:30.860 the

01:16:31.120 kind

01:16:31.380 of

01:16:31.460 mechanics

01:16:31.840 of

01:16:32.060 that

01:16:32.300 one

01:16:32.700 to

01:16:32.880 three

01:16:33.200 is

01:16:33.740 the

01:16:33.960 appropriate

01:16:34.640 amount

01:16:35.120 save

01:16:36.740 the

01:16:36.920 double

01:16:37.160 clasp

01:16:37.620 for

01:16:37.860 extra

01:16:38.220 warm

01:16:38.560 so

01:16:38.840 a lot

01:16:39.040 of

01:16:39.160 politicians

01:16:39.560 will

01:16:39.880 do

01:16:40.020 that

01:16:40.220 the

01:16:40.920 double

01:16:41.120 clasp

01:16:41.520 over

01:16:41.820 that's

01:16:42.160 because

01:16:42.280 it's

01:16:42.580 sort

01:16:42.800 of

01:16:42.900 double

01:16:43.120 the

01:16:43.280 oxytocin

01:16:43.800 it's

01:16:44.000 on

01:16:44.160 the

01:16:44.240 way

01:16:44.340 to

01:16:44.420 a

01:16:44.540 hug

01:16:44.740 I

01:16:45.260 say

01:16:45.460 only

01:16:45.740 do

01:16:45.920 that

01:16:46.060 if

01:16:46.200 you're

01:16:46.340 super

01:16:46.620 confident

01:16:47.080 in

01:16:47.800 doing

01:16:48.200 it

01:16:48.360 well

01:16:48.620 otherwise

01:16:49.200 it's

01:16:49.480 that

01:16:49.620 one

01:16:49.860 to

01:16:50.020 one

01:16:50.260 up

01:16:50.480 and

01:16:50.620 down

01:16:50.860 vertical

01:16:51.260 right

01:16:52.380 what

01:16:52.800 are

01:16:52.880 you

01:16:52.980 doing

01:16:53.220 with

01:16:53.420 your

01:16:53.580 eyes

01:16:54.020 I

01:16:55.120 like

01:16:55.340 to

01:16:55.480 make

01:16:55.640 mutual

01:16:55.960 eye

01:16:56.200 contact

01:16:56.520 during

01:16:57.100 the

01:16:57.280 handshake

01:16:57.720 but

01:16:57.920 I

01:16:58.040 don't

01:16:58.480 want

01:16:58.660 to

01:16:58.740 make

01:16:58.920 100%

01:16:59.660 eye

01:16:59.880 contact

01:17:00.180 in

01:17:00.400 the

01:17:00.520 first

01:17:00.780 few

01:17:00.980 minutes

01:17:01.180 of

01:17:01.280 interaction

01:17:01.680 that's

01:17:02.160 a

01:17:02.340 myth

01:17:02.600 I

01:17:02.780 think

01:17:02.980 people

01:17:03.520 are

01:17:03.660 told

01:17:03.900 make

01:17:04.180 more

01:17:04.400 eye

01:17:04.600 contact

01:17:04.940 and

01:17:05.460 eye

01:17:06.200 contact

01:17:06.420 is

01:17:06.640 good

01:17:06.880 but

01:17:07.180 60

01:17:08.560 to

01:17:08.720 70

01:17:09.080 percent

01:17:09.580 is

01:17:09.840 ideal

01:17:10.220 100

01:17:10.980 percent

01:17:11.380 90

01:17:11.720 percent

01:17:12.060 eye

01:17:12.260 contact

01:17:12.540 is

01:17:12.840 considered

01:17:13.260 invasive

01:17:13.780 or

01:17:14.440 territorial

01:17:15.000 it's

01:17:15.440 actually

01:17:15.620 like

01:17:15.740 a

01:17:15.880 pre

01:17:16.260 fighting

01:17:17.160 kind

01:17:17.660 of

01:17:17.780 a

01:17:18.200 cue

01:17:18.720 so

01:17:19.320 make

01:17:20.480 eye

01:17:20.720 contact

01:17:20.980 in

01:17:21.100 those

01:17:21.220 first

01:17:21.420 few

01:17:21.580 seconds

01:17:21.820 and

01:17:21.980 then

01:17:22.140 you

01:17:22.580 can

01:17:22.820 look

01:17:22.960 around

01:17:23.140 the

01:17:23.300 room

01:17:28.740 nonverbal

01:17:37.300 bridges

01:17:37.740 let's

01:17:38.160 talk

01:17:38.420 about

01:17:38.700 I

01:17:39.340 like

01:17:39.600 your

01:17:39.920 analysis

01:17:40.380 of

01:17:40.800 the

01:17:42.080 meaning

01:17:42.880 of

01:17:43.140 different

01:17:43.580 distances

01:17:44.580 and

01:17:45.600 also

01:17:46.160 let's

01:17:47.140 talk

01:17:47.380 a little

01:17:47.620 bit

01:17:47.780 about

01:17:48.040 nonverbal

01:17:48.680 bridges

01:17:49.140 yes

01:17:50.580 so

01:17:51.220 when

01:17:51.640 we

01:17:51.760 look

01:17:51.980 at

01:17:52.180 human

01:17:52.800 interaction

01:17:53.300 the

01:17:53.680 space

01:17:54.120 between

01:17:54.460 us

01:17:54.740 how

01:17:54.900 we

01:17:55.040 interact

01:17:55.400 in

01:17:55.520 our

01:17:55.620 environment

01:17:55.980 the

01:17:56.200 fancy

01:17:56.460 word

01:17:56.680 is

01:17:56.840 proxemics

01:17:57.360 and

01:17:57.960 it's

01:17:58.080 actually

01:17:58.280 quite

01:17:58.520 important

01:17:58.840 for

01:17:59.100 signaling

01:17:59.440 intimacy

01:17:59.960 the

01:18:00.640 reason

01:18:00.840 for

01:18:01.000 this

01:18:01.160 is

01:18:01.300 because

01:18:01.520 what

01:18:01.740 research

01:18:02.140 shows

01:18:02.480 is

01:18:02.680 that

01:18:02.900 the

01:18:03.200 closer

01:18:03.580 we

01:18:03.820 feel

01:18:04.020 to

01:18:04.180 someone

01:18:04.480 emotionally

01:18:05.100 the

01:18:05.600 closer

01:18:05.900 we're

01:18:06.160 able

01:18:06.400 to

01:18:06.600 get

01:18:06.760 to

01:18:06.880 them

01:18:07.020 physically

01:18:07.460 and

01:18:08.080 so

01:18:08.220 oftentimes

01:18:08.700 if

01:18:09.160 you're

01:18:09.300 with

01:18:09.480 a

01:18:09.620 stranger

01:18:09.980 they

01:18:10.380 stand

01:18:11.020 further

01:18:11.400 away

01:18:11.680 from

01:18:11.900 you

01:18:12.100 because

01:18:12.600 they

01:18:12.720 don't

01:18:12.880 feel

01:18:13.120 as

01:18:13.340 close

01:18:13.540 to

01:18:13.700 you

01:18:13.800 this

01:18:13.980 is

01:18:14.120 just

01:18:14.320 a

01:18:14.680 kind

01:18:15.300 of

01:18:15.420 subconscious

01:18:15.840 safety

01:18:16.300 measure

01:18:16.680 when

01:18:17.940 we're

01:18:18.160 in

01:18:18.460 interactions

01:18:19.200 it's

01:18:19.580 important

01:18:20.000 to

01:18:20.220 take

01:18:20.480 these

01:18:20.760 distances

01:18:21.240 into

01:18:21.580 account

01:18:22.060 there

01:18:23.180 are

01:18:23.340 four

01:18:23.700 basic

01:18:24.160 distances

01:18:24.520 between

01:18:24.780 people

01:18:25.140 the

01:18:25.480 public

01:18:25.800 zone

01:18:26.180 the

01:18:26.540 social

01:18:26.840 zone

01:18:27.220 the

01:18:27.460 personal

01:18:27.780 zone

01:18:28.100 and

01:18:28.240 the

01:18:28.360 intimate

01:18:28.580 zone

01:18:28.920 the

01:18:29.520 zones

01:18:29.860 that

01:18:30.020 we

01:18:30.220 should

01:18:30.420 stick

01:18:30.700 in

01:18:30.840 the

01:18:30.940 most

01:18:31.220 are

01:18:31.400 the

01:18:31.540 personal

01:18:31.860 and

01:18:31.960 social

01:18:32.260 zone

01:18:32.580 so

01:18:32.900 seven

01:18:33.660 feet

01:18:33.840 away

01:18:34.080 is

01:18:34.240 public

01:18:34.660 right

01:18:35.200 we're

01:18:35.360 in

01:18:35.480 a

01:18:35.600 room

01:18:35.980 with

01:18:36.100 someone

01:18:36.240 we're

01:18:36.380 not

01:18:36.500 going to

01:18:36.620 have

01:18:36.740 a

01:18:36.820 deep

01:18:36.920 conversation

01:18:37.460 with

01:18:37.680 them

01:18:37.820 if

01:18:37.940 they're

01:18:38.040 seven

01:18:38.260 feet

01:18:38.380 away

01:18:38.580 we

01:18:38.720 might

01:18:38.900 say

01:18:39.120 hey

01:18:39.580 good

01:18:39.760 to

01:18:39.920 see

01:18:40.120 you

01:18:40.400 nice

01:18:41.320 nice

01:18:41.580 to

01:18:41.680 have

01:18:41.820 you

01:18:41.940 here

01:18:42.200 social

01:18:43.040 zone

01:18:43.420 anywhere

01:18:44.400 from

01:18:44.660 three

01:18:44.920 to

01:18:45.080 five

01:18:45.340 feet

01:18:45.580 or

01:18:45.760 four

01:18:46.260 to

01:18:46.400 seven

01:18:46.600 feet

01:18:46.820 depending

01:18:47.100 on

01:18:47.200 the

01:18:47.300 culture

01:18:47.540 you're

01:18:47.760 in

01:18:47.940 that's

01:18:48.820 a

01:18:48.920 great

01:18:49.100 space

01:18:49.500 for

01:18:49.740 around

01:18:49.960 a

01:18:50.080 boardroom

01:18:50.360 table

01:18:50.720 talking

01:18:51.580 to

01:18:51.760 colleagues

01:18:52.080 in

01:18:52.220 the

01:18:52.320 break

01:18:52.540 room

01:18:52.860 having

01:18:53.500 kind

01:18:53.760 of

01:18:53.860 casual

01:18:54.180 friendships

01:18:54.620 at

01:18:54.820 a

01:18:54.940 bar

01:18:55.140 or

01:18:55.280 party

01:18:55.700 or

01:18:55.840 networking

01:18:56.180 event

01:18:56.600 that's

01:18:57.220 we

01:18:57.360 can

01:18:57.480 have

01:18:57.700 conversation

01:18:58.200 but

01:18:58.420 we're

01:18:58.540 not

01:18:58.680 feeling

01:18:58.960 super

01:18:59.340 close

01:18:59.640 to

01:18:59.760 them

01:18:59.940 the

01:19:00.580 personal

01:19:01.160 zone

01:19:01.560 one

01:19:01.980 of

01:19:02.060 my

01:19:02.180 favorite

01:19:02.400 zones

01:19:02.660 this

01:19:02.880 is

01:19:03.060 18

01:19:03.560 inches

01:19:04.060 to

01:19:04.840 about

01:19:05.040 three

01:19:05.340 feet

01:19:05.560 away

01:19:05.820 that's

01:19:06.680 where

01:19:06.800 we

01:19:06.900 like

01:19:07.060 to

01:19:07.200 have

01:19:07.360 most

01:19:07.720 of

01:19:07.960 our

01:19:08.280 friend

01:19:08.940 to

01:19:09.060 friend

01:19:09.220 conversations

01:19:09.880 our

01:19:10.200 good

01:19:10.360 work

01:19:10.540 conversations

01:19:11.100 in

01:19:11.360 fact

01:19:11.560 I

01:19:11.840 advise

01:19:12.220 people

01:19:12.640 to

01:19:13.320 measure

01:19:13.600 the

01:19:13.780 distance

01:19:14.100 between

01:19:14.360 their

01:19:14.580 nose

01:19:15.020 and

01:19:15.280 their

01:19:15.440 camera

01:19:15.820 you

01:19:16.900 should

01:19:17.120 make

01:19:17.320 sure

01:19:17.540 that

01:19:17.720 your

01:19:17.840 camera

01:19:18.240 is

01:19:18.520 in

01:19:18.960 that

01:19:19.200 zone

01:19:19.600 18

01:19:20.000 inches

01:19:20.280 to

01:19:20.460 three

01:19:20.640 feet

01:19:20.780 away

01:19:21.040 if

01:19:21.540 it's

01:19:21.760 too

01:19:22.020 close

01:19:22.460 you

01:19:22.900 hit

01:19:23.040 the

01:19:23.160 intimate

01:19:23.400 zone

01:19:23.740 and

01:19:24.700 that's

01:19:31.980 too

01:19:32.260 close

01:19:32.580 18

01:19:32.840 inches

01:19:33.080 away

01:19:33.300 with

01:19:33.520 your

01:19:33.680 camera

01:19:34.020 or

01:19:34.240 in

01:19:34.380 person

01:19:34.700 a

01:19:35.400 nonverbal

01:19:35.840 bridge

01:19:36.160 is

01:19:36.300 this

01:19:36.460 idea

01:19:36.800 that

01:19:36.960 I

01:19:37.080 came

01:19:37.280 up

01:19:37.420 with

01:19:37.540 as

01:19:37.680 I

01:19:37.800 observed

01:19:38.320 people

01:19:38.780 in

01:19:39.300 interaction

01:19:39.760 I

01:19:40.020 noticed

01:19:40.380 that

01:19:40.580 as

01:19:41.120 they

01:19:41.300 were

01:19:41.460 getting

01:19:41.720 closer

01:19:42.180 they

01:19:43.060 would

01:19:43.260 slowly

01:19:43.760 cross

01:19:44.300 into

01:19:44.640 a

01:19:44.880 closer

01:19:45.180 zone

01:19:45.600 but

01:19:46.120 we

01:19:46.260 don't

01:19:46.420 like

01:19:46.640 it

01:19:46.760 when

01:19:46.920 someone

01:19:47.180 fully

01:19:47.500 steps

01:19:47.860 into

01:19:48.020 the

01:19:48.180 zone

01:19:48.380 so

01:19:49.180 instead

01:19:49.500 there

01:19:49.800 are

01:19:49.920 these

01:19:50.100 nonverbal

01:19:50.580 bridges

01:19:50.900 that

01:19:51.080 we

01:19:51.200 can

01:19:51.360 actually

01:19:51.660 use

01:19:52.040 to

01:19:52.180 create

01:19:52.360 intimacy

01:19:52.740 which

01:19:53.000 is

01:19:53.160 we

01:19:53.480 reach

01:19:53.720 out

01:19:53.860 and

01:19:53.980 shake

01:19:54.160 hands

01:19:54.600 the

01:19:54.800 moment

01:19:54.960 we

01:19:55.140 shake

01:19:55.360 hands

01:19:55.840 our

01:19:56.460 hands

01:19:56.920 have

01:19:57.120 crossed

01:19:57.480 into

01:19:57.760 the

01:19:57.900 zone

01:19:58.000 it's

01:19:58.140 a

01:19:58.280 bridge

01:19:58.620 or

01:19:59.240 if

01:19:59.420 I

01:19:59.560 lean

01:19:59.880 forward

01:20:00.340 I

01:20:01.160 might

01:20:01.420 just

01:20:01.700 the

01:20:01.900 top

01:20:02.140 of

01:20:02.280 my

01:20:02.420 body

01:20:02.780 has

01:20:03.020 gone

01:20:03.220 a

01:20:03.360 little

01:20:03.500 bit

01:20:03.680 closer

01:20:03.960 into

01:20:04.240 your

01:20:04.420 zone

01:20:04.780 to

01:20:05.140 see

01:20:05.360 how

01:20:05.580 it

01:20:05.720 goes

01:20:06.060 maybe

01:20:06.680 you

01:20:06.940 scoot

01:20:07.220 your

01:20:07.400 chair

01:20:07.620 forward

01:20:08.040 or

01:20:08.420 maybe

01:20:08.600 you're

01:20:08.800 gesturing

01:20:09.420 forward

01:20:09.860 you'll

01:20:10.460 notice

01:20:10.700 that

01:20:10.860 on

01:20:10.960 a

01:20:11.180 really

01:20:11.400 good

01:20:11.620 date

01:20:11.760 my

01:20:11.900 husband

01:20:12.140 and

01:20:12.260 I

01:20:12.360 love

01:20:12.580 to

01:20:12.800 sit

01:20:13.300 in

01:20:13.380 a

01:20:13.480 restaurant

01:20:13.760 and

01:20:14.260 watch

01:20:14.680 other

01:20:15.020 people's

01:20:15.360 dates

01:20:15.560 and

01:20:15.740 see

01:20:15.880 if

01:20:16.020 we

01:20:16.120 can

01:20:16.260 guess

01:20:16.480 how

01:20:16.600 they're

01:20:16.720 going

01:20:17.000 really

01:20:17.760 good

01:20:18.160 dates

01:20:18.640 people

01:20:19.220 are

01:20:19.420 nonverbal

01:20:19.920 bridging

01:20:20.240 all

01:20:20.400 the

01:20:20.520 time

01:20:20.800 they're

01:20:21.020 reaching

01:20:21.260 out

01:20:21.440 and

01:20:21.580 touching

01:20:21.820 each

01:20:22.040 other's

01:20:22.340 arm

01:20:22.600 they're

01:20:23.020 reaching

01:20:23.260 and

01:20:23.440 gesturing

01:20:23.780 into

01:20:23.960 each

01:20:24.120 other's

01:20:24.380 space

01:20:24.680 they're

01:20:25.160 leaning

01:20:25.420 forward

01:20:25.800 to

01:20:26.040 each

01:20:26.220 other

01:20:26.420 they're

01:20:26.680 whispering

01:20:27.080 into

01:20:27.360 someone

01:20:27.620 they're

01:20:27.900 saying

01:20:28.260 something

01:20:28.480 a little

01:20:28.660 bit

01:20:28.800 closer

01:20:29.060 into

01:20:29.240 their

01:20:29.400 ear

01:20:29.660 that

01:20:30.580 is

01:20:30.720 a

01:20:30.840 way

01:20:30.980 of

01:20:31.180 warming

01:20:31.820 them

01:20:32.100 up

01:20:32.460 to

01:20:33.040 try

01:20:33.280 to

01:20:33.440 get

01:20:33.660 into

01:20:33.920 that

01:20:34.160 next

01:20:34.580 zone

01:20:34.940 I

01:20:35.620 love

01:20:36.120 this

01:20:36.560 when

01:20:36.960 you

01:20:37.100 are

01:20:37.240 trying

01:20:37.600 to

01:20:37.800 be

01:20:37.940 closer

01:20:38.220 to

01:20:38.400 someone

01:20:38.720 comfortably

01:20:39.540 so

01:20:40.600 leaning

01:20:41.060 is a

01:20:41.640 great

01:20:41.760 nonverbal

01:20:42.060 bridge

01:20:42.440 reaching

01:20:43.080 out

01:20:43.400 and

01:20:43.680 shaking

01:20:44.100 hands

01:20:44.440 or

01:20:44.620 handing

01:20:45.040 someone

01:20:45.440 something

01:20:45.860 that

01:20:46.540 is

01:20:46.680 a

01:20:46.820 great

01:20:46.980 nonverbal

01:20:47.320 bridge

01:20:47.700 scooting

01:20:48.520 or

01:20:48.680 sitting

01:20:48.940 closer

01:20:49.320 is

01:20:49.560 a

01:20:49.680 great

01:20:49.840 nonverbal

01:20:50.100 bridge

01:20:50.440 to

01:20:50.780 warm

01:20:51.040 them

01:20:51.180 up

01:20:51.320 I

01:20:51.400 work

01:20:51.540 with

01:20:51.640 a

01:20:51.680 lot

01:20:51.780 of

01:20:51.880 physicians

01:20:52.280 and

01:20:52.640 I

01:20:52.800 share

01:20:53.200 with

01:20:53.360 them

01:20:53.520 you

01:20:53.660 need

01:20:54.040 to

01:20:54.220 do

01:20:54.560 two

01:20:55.220 or

01:20:55.420 three

01:20:55.700 nonverbal

01:20:56.180 bridges

01:20:56.520 before

01:20:57.080 you

01:20:57.300 have

01:20:57.480 to

01:20:57.580 go

01:20:57.720 touch

01:20:58.000 someone

01:20:58.400 right

01:20:59.280 it's

01:20:59.420 a lot

01:20:59.920 of

01:21:00.000 times

01:21:00.180 people

01:21:00.380 are

01:21:00.520 nervous

01:21:00.880 around

01:21:01.040 doctors

01:21:01.340 simply

01:21:01.620 because

01:21:01.860 they're

01:21:02.040 about

01:21:02.220 to

01:21:02.340 go

01:21:02.420 in

01:21:02.500 their

01:21:02.580 intimate

01:21:02.800 space

01:21:03.280 and

01:21:03.880 so

01:21:04.180 using

01:21:04.840 those

01:21:05.060 can

01:21:05.240 really

01:21:05.440 help

01:21:05.740 warm

01:21:06.160 someone

01:21:06.440 up

01:21:06.640 to

01:21:06.760 that

01:21:06.920 touch

01:21:07.320 talk

01:21:08.840 about

01:21:09.180 close

01:21:09.740 talkers

01:21:10.460 close

01:21:12.120 talkers

01:21:12.660 are

01:21:12.860 breaking

01:21:13.180 a

01:21:13.360 social

01:21:13.600 rule

01:21:13.860 and

01:21:14.260 we

01:21:14.380 don't

01:21:14.520 like

01:21:14.720 that

01:21:14.860 for

01:21:14.980 two

01:21:15.160 reasons

01:21:15.520 one

01:21:16.160 we

01:21:16.420 do

01:21:16.560 not

01:21:16.700 like

01:21:16.860 people

01:21:17.080 who

01:21:17.220 are

01:21:17.320 not

01:21:17.460 well

01:21:17.660 versed

01:21:17.960 in

01:21:18.060 social

01:21:18.320 etiquette

01:21:18.660 it

01:21:18.780 makes

01:21:18.960 us

01:21:19.140 nervous

01:21:19.560 but

01:21:20.260 second

01:21:20.660 what

01:21:20.900 they're

01:21:21.060 doing

01:21:21.320 is

01:21:21.480 they're

01:21:21.640 crossing

01:21:22.140 into

01:21:22.600 the

01:21:22.820 intimate

01:21:23.100 zone

01:21:23.380 close

01:21:23.720 talkers

01:21:24.160 physically

01:21:24.620 speaking

01:21:25.000 are

01:21:25.260 less

01:21:25.720 than

01:21:25.860 18

01:21:26.100 inches

01:21:26.300 away

01:21:26.460 from

01:21:26.620 your

01:21:26.740 face

01:21:27.060 and

01:21:27.820 this

01:21:28.440 is

01:21:28.560 way

01:21:28.720 too

01:21:28.880 close

01:21:29.100 too

01:21:29.260 fast

01:21:29.560 usually

01:21:29.920 but

01:21:30.360 also

01:21:30.580 there's

01:21:30.780 all

01:21:30.940 kinds

01:21:31.200 of

01:21:31.360 I

01:21:31.660 think

01:21:31.780 this

01:21:31.920 comes

01:21:32.080 from

01:21:32.240 health

01:21:32.780 reasons

01:21:33.160 we

01:21:33.880 don't

01:21:34.080 like

01:21:34.300 it

01:21:34.420 when

01:21:34.540 someone

01:21:34.760 is

01:21:34.960 literally

01:21:35.280 breathing

01:21:35.640 into

01:21:35.880 our

01:21:36.040 mouth

01:21:36.340 it

01:21:36.780 grosses

01:21:37.400 us

01:21:37.560 out

01:21:38.060 like

01:21:38.280 just

01:21:38.560 basically

01:21:39.040 we're

01:21:39.700 breathing

01:21:40.500 their

01:21:40.840 air

01:21:41.120 we

01:21:41.320 possibly

01:21:41.840 will

01:21:42.060 get

01:21:42.200 their

01:21:42.400 spittle

01:21:42.760 on

01:21:43.000 our

01:21:43.160 face

01:21:43.500 and

01:21:43.720 that

01:21:43.900 gives

01:21:44.440 us

01:21:44.640 this

01:21:44.860 kind

01:21:45.140 of

01:21:45.300 ick

01:21:45.520 factor

01:21:45.960 and

01:21:46.580 so

01:21:46.760 I

01:21:46.920 say

01:21:47.220 to

01:21:47.320 people

01:21:47.480 if

01:21:47.680 you

01:21:47.840 find

01:21:48.160 that

01:21:48.280 people

01:21:48.440 are

01:21:48.600 backing

01:21:49.080 away

01:21:49.520 from

01:21:49.820 you

01:21:50.060 you

01:21:50.440 are

01:21:50.660 likely

01:21:51.140 accidentally

01:21:51.840 close

01:21:52.220 talking

01:21:52.540 and

01:21:52.700 they're

01:21:52.800 not

01:21:53.000 ready

01:21:53.260 for

01:21:53.500 it

01:21:53.780 right

01:21:55.200 right

01:21:55.520 well

01:21:55.800 and

01:21:55.980 one

01:21:56.580 of

01:21:56.700 the

01:21:56.840 last

01:21:57.200 responses

01:21:57.800 that

01:21:58.100 you

01:21:58.280 want

01:21:58.500 to

01:21:58.640 trigger

01:21:59.000 in

01:21:59.200 someone

01:21:59.500 is

01:21:59.820 disgust

01:22:00.580 that's

01:22:02.540 way

01:22:03.060 worse

01:22:03.360 than

01:22:03.560 fear

01:22:03.900 it's

01:22:04.120 way

01:22:04.300 worse

01:22:04.540 than

01:22:04.740 anger

01:22:05.060 there's

01:22:06.320 probably

01:22:06.700 not

01:22:07.000 a

01:22:07.120 more

01:22:07.260 destructive

01:22:07.720 emotion

01:22:08.220 that

01:22:08.460 you

01:22:08.600 can

01:22:08.740 feel

01:22:08.980 in

01:22:09.120 relationship

01:22:09.580 to

01:22:09.860 someone

01:22:10.160 than

01:22:10.480 disgust

01:22:12.240 have

01:22:13.120 you

01:22:13.240 heard

01:22:13.420 Jordan

01:22:13.720 of

01:22:13.880 the

01:22:14.040 ick

01:22:14.200 factor

01:22:14.640 have

01:22:15.360 you

01:22:15.460 heard

01:22:15.640 of

01:22:15.760 that

01:22:16.060 not

01:22:17.380 specifically

01:22:18.060 what

01:22:18.820 you

01:22:18.980 said

01:22:19.220 is

01:22:19.400 exactly

01:22:20.000 right

01:22:20.300 there's

01:22:20.640 a

01:22:20.820 phrase

01:22:21.200 it's

01:22:21.560 oh

01:22:21.780 he

01:22:21.980 gave

01:22:22.260 me

01:22:22.400 the

01:22:22.620 ick

01:22:22.940 which

01:22:26.700 something

01:22:27.060 that

01:22:27.300 gave

01:22:27.680 you

01:22:27.820 that

01:22:28.020 feeling

01:22:28.300 of

01:22:28.480 disgust

01:22:29.120 and

01:22:29.460 that

01:22:29.740 is

01:22:29.920 the

01:22:30.140 ultimate

01:22:30.580 crusher

01:22:31.500 of

01:22:32.120 attraction

01:22:32.700 of

01:22:33.160 intimacy

01:22:33.620 of

01:22:33.920 connection

01:22:34.440 and

01:22:35.080 I

01:22:35.300 think

01:22:35.660 that

01:22:35.900 sometimes

01:22:36.460 awkward

01:22:36.940 people

01:22:37.460 are

01:22:37.760 accidentally

01:22:38.720 without

01:22:39.520 realizing

01:22:40.060 it

01:22:40.340 giving

01:22:40.640 people

01:22:41.240 the

01:22:41.540 ick

01:22:41.880 and

01:22:43.300 that

01:22:43.540 that

01:22:44.060 disgust

01:22:44.480 so

01:22:44.640 understanding

01:22:45.300 some of

01:22:45.700 these

01:22:45.840 very

01:22:46.240 small

01:22:46.660 social

01:22:46.980 rules

01:22:47.260 the

01:22:47.440 difference

01:22:47.720 between

01:22:48.020 19

01:22:48.960 inches

01:22:49.260 and

01:22:49.380 18

01:22:49.560 inches

01:22:49.820 is

01:22:49.980 a

01:22:50.100 big

01:22:50.260 one

01:22:50.520 right

01:22:51.440 and

01:22:51.580 so

01:22:51.780 if

01:22:52.020 we

01:22:52.160 can

01:22:52.380 understand

01:22:53.020 those

01:22:53.240 social

01:22:53.520 rules

01:22:53.780 you're

01:22:53.940 not

01:22:56.700 right

01:22:56.920 well

01:22:57.160 and

01:22:57.360 you

01:22:57.660 could

01:22:57.840 also

01:22:58.300 allow

01:22:59.760 the

01:23:00.000 other

01:23:00.200 person

01:23:00.600 to

01:23:00.840 set

01:23:01.100 the

01:23:01.280 distance

01:23:01.780 requirement

01:23:02.460 rather than

01:23:03.120 you

01:23:03.340 doing

01:23:03.620 it

01:23:03.780 yourself

01:23:04.280 yes

01:23:05.040 I

01:23:05.240 don't

01:23:05.340 know

01:23:05.440 about

01:23:05.600 you

01:23:05.740 but

01:23:05.880 when

01:23:06.020 I'm

01:23:06.240 greeting

01:23:06.520 people

01:23:06.760 at

01:23:06.880 book

01:23:06.980 signings

01:23:07.460 I

01:23:07.840 usually

01:23:08.180 plant

01:23:08.700 and

01:23:08.920 I

01:23:09.040 let

01:23:09.200 them

01:23:09.360 decide

01:23:09.680 how

01:23:09.880 close

01:23:10.140 they

01:23:10.280 want

01:23:10.480 to

01:23:10.600 come

01:23:10.760 to

01:23:10.920 me

01:23:11.120 yeah

01:23:12.120 yeah

01:23:12.400 well

01:23:12.600 I

01:23:12.720 do

01:23:12.880 that

01:23:13.100 when

01:23:13.260 I

01:23:13.400 meet

01:23:13.580 people

01:23:13.920 in

01:23:14.060 the

01:23:14.160 meet

01:23:14.320 and

01:23:14.440 greets

01:23:14.700 too

01:23:14.980 is

01:23:15.800 that

01:23:16.040 I'm

01:23:16.500 pretty

01:23:16.920 much

01:23:17.160 stationary

01:23:26.700 use

01:23:27.000 of

01:23:27.180 filler

01:23:27.540 words

01:23:28.080 and

01:23:28.480 unsophisticated

01:23:30.760 nonverbal

01:23:31.860 behavior

01:23:32.380 you

01:23:33.000 know

01:23:33.220 it's

01:23:33.740 funny

01:23:34.000 you

01:23:34.200 ask

01:23:34.480 this

01:23:34.800 the

01:23:35.200 research

01:23:35.600 is

01:23:35.820 conflicting

01:23:36.380 it

01:23:37.000 is

01:23:37.160 actually

01:23:37.460 not

01:23:37.880 obvious

01:23:38.480 we

01:23:39.100 think

01:23:39.480 and

01:23:39.640 we're

01:23:39.820 told

01:23:40.360 use

01:23:41.000 of

01:23:41.160 ums

01:23:41.600 and

01:23:41.720 ahs

01:23:42.120 and

01:23:42.260 likes

01:23:42.520 and

01:23:42.760 so's

01:23:43.040 and

01:23:43.160 you

01:23:43.240 knows

01:23:43.500 is

01:23:43.840 bad

01:23:44.380 it

01:23:44.720 takes

01:23:45.080 away

01:23:45.260 from

01:23:45.420 your

01:23:45.540 competence

01:23:46.060 but

01:23:46.940 there's

01:23:47.300 some

01:23:47.500 research

01:23:47.820 that

01:23:48.020 shows

01:23:48.280 it

01:23:48.440 can

01:23:48.640 be

01:23:48.900 casual

01:23:49.500 it

01:23:50.040 can

01:23:50.200 be

01:23:50.400 colloquial

01:23:51.160 it

01:23:51.500 can

01:23:51.640 show

01:23:51.760 that

01:23:51.900 someone

01:23:52.120 is

01:23:52.320 not

01:23:52.660 robotic

01:23:53.200 and

01:23:54.100 so

01:23:54.380 what

01:23:55.520 I

01:23:55.700 say

01:23:55.900 is

01:23:56.080 if

01:23:56.380 you're

01:23:56.600 competent

01:23:57.100 in

01:23:57.320 your

01:23:57.440 idea

01:23:57.840 and

01:23:58.540 that

01:23:58.680 gives

01:23:58.920 you

01:23:59.040 verbal

01:23:59.240 acuity

01:23:59.560 great

01:23:59.980 but

01:24:01.080 if

01:24:01.620 you

01:24:01.780 need

01:24:02.140 to

01:24:02.340 um

01:24:02.640 or

01:24:02.880 have

01:24:03.160 a

01:24:03.300 like

01:24:03.520 or

01:24:03.660 so

01:24:03.880 you

01:24:04.000 know

01:24:04.160 it's

01:24:04.520 not

01:24:04.760 going

01:24:04.920 to

01:24:05.060 destroy

01:24:05.520 your

01:24:05.800 credibility

01:24:06.300 because

01:24:07.200 sometimes

01:24:07.740 we

01:24:07.980 recognize

01:24:08.560 as

01:24:08.900 humans

01:24:09.220 ah

01:24:09.700 they're

01:24:10.280 processing

01:24:10.740 for a

01:24:11.080 moment

01:24:11.320 or

01:24:11.560 they're

01:24:11.780 gathering

01:24:12.140 that

01:24:12.460 story

01:24:12.940 or

01:24:13.700 it's

01:24:14.640 a

01:24:14.840 habit

01:24:15.320 right

01:24:16.000 we have

01:24:16.420 this

01:24:16.640 nonverbal

01:24:17.020 pet

01:24:17.280 peeve

01:24:17.680 I

01:24:18.140 know

01:24:18.320 some

01:24:18.560 very

01:24:18.980 very

01:24:19.260 competent

01:24:19.840 influencers

01:24:20.480 who

01:24:20.880 use

01:24:21.300 a lot

01:24:21.800 of

01:24:22.220 fillers

01:24:22.980 and

01:24:23.440 people

01:24:23.700 still

01:24:24.000 love

01:24:24.240 them

01:24:24.420 and

01:24:24.560 trust

01:24:24.780 them

01:24:25.060 so

01:24:25.680 it's

01:24:25.900 not

01:24:26.080 a

01:24:26.260 deal

01:24:26.440 breaker

01:24:26.720 if

01:24:27.020 it's

01:24:27.200 authentic

01:24:27.600 to

01:24:27.920 your

01:24:28.100 brand

01:24:28.600 and

01:24:29.020 I

01:24:29.040 know

01:24:29.180 that

01:24:29.380 sounds

01:24:29.780 crazy

01:24:30.100 but

01:24:30.260 I

01:24:30.360 think

01:24:30.500 everyone

01:24:30.780 has

01:24:30.980 a

01:24:31.100 personal

01:24:31.400 flavor

01:24:31.820 of

01:24:32.080 charisma

01:24:32.480 and

01:24:33.120 there

01:24:33.240 are

01:24:33.360 certain

01:24:33.600 folks

01:24:33.900 who

01:24:34.080 have

01:24:34.380 those

01:24:34.680 as

01:24:34.900 their

01:24:35.860 nonverbal

01:24:36.420 signature

01:24:36.880 or

01:24:37.140 their

01:24:37.300 verbal

01:24:37.540 signature

01:24:37.980 and

01:24:38.540 if

01:24:38.660 that

01:24:38.820 feels

01:24:39.040 natural

01:24:39.360 to

01:24:39.580 you

01:24:39.700 and

01:24:39.900 you

01:24:40.020 know

01:24:48.320 indicator

01:24:48.920 yes

01:24:49.500 I

01:24:49.740 think

01:24:49.940 that

01:24:50.160 you

01:24:50.760 know

01:24:50.920 the

01:24:51.160 pratfall

01:24:51.540 effect

01:24:51.940 right

01:24:52.500 we

01:24:52.660 know

01:24:53.040 that

01:24:53.260 people

01:24:53.560 who

01:24:53.900 make

01:24:54.780 mistakes

01:24:55.140 are

01:24:55.300 likable

01:24:55.640 I

01:24:56.020 wonder

01:24:56.940 because

01:24:57.600 I

01:24:57.880 have

01:24:58.040 struggled

01:24:58.340 with

01:24:58.640 likes

01:24:58.820 you

01:24:58.980 know

01:24:59.060 what

01:24:59.780 if

01:25:00.300 verbal

01:25:01.600 fillers

01:25:02.220 are

01:25:02.480 a

01:25:02.660 pratfall

01:25:03.060 effect

01:25:03.440 verbally

01:25:03.880 where

01:25:04.940 you're

01:25:05.180 saying

01:25:05.460 I

01:25:05.600 know

01:25:05.740 my

01:25:05.960 stuff

01:25:06.220 but

01:25:06.400 you're

01:25:06.560 showing

01:25:06.820 a

01:25:07.020 little

01:25:07.160 bit

01:25:07.320 of

01:25:07.460 humanity

01:25:07.880 and

01:25:08.220 warmth

01:25:09.180 and

01:25:09.520 vulnerability

01:25:10.060 it

01:25:10.780 almost

01:25:11.120 is

01:25:11.320 like

01:25:11.440 this

01:25:11.800 person

01:25:12.160 is

01:25:12.420 human

01:25:12.740 and

01:25:12.980 has

01:25:13.380 mistakes

01:25:13.820 and

01:25:14.020 I

01:25:14.180 can

01:25:18.320 part

01:25:18.760 of

01:25:18.860 the

01:25:18.980 problem

01:25:19.320 with

01:25:19.660 extremely

01:25:20.880 high

01:25:21.200 level

01:25:21.480 of

01:25:21.680 competence

01:25:22.120 is

01:25:22.640 that

01:25:23.040 it's

01:25:24.200 intimidating

01:25:24.880 it

01:25:27.500 leaves

01:25:27.700 us

01:25:27.880 feeling

01:25:28.080 suspicious

01:25:28.460 and

01:25:28.660 you

01:25:28.760 might

01:25:28.920 think

01:25:29.340 yeah

01:25:32.120 talk

01:25:32.500 about

01:25:32.760 that

01:25:33.220 talk

01:25:34.100 about

01:25:34.380 that

01:25:34.740 because

01:25:34.960 you

01:25:35.180 you

01:25:35.480 write

01:25:35.720 about

01:25:35.940 the

01:25:36.140 fact

01:25:36.400 that

01:25:37.000 leaving

01:25:37.960 competence

01:25:40.160 with

01:25:40.780 warmth

01:25:41.720 seems

01:25:42.700 to be

01:25:43.000 the most

01:25:43.380 appropriate

01:25:43.860 strategy

01:25:44.640 and

01:25:45.500 I

01:25:45.940 guess

01:25:46.240 the

01:25:47.220 thing

01:25:47.440 about

01:25:47.680 warmth

01:25:48.260 likely

01:25:48.960 and

01:25:49.400 agreeableness

01:25:49.960 is that

01:25:50.440 it

01:25:50.600 indicates

01:25:51.160 the

01:25:53.040 probability

01:25:53.740 of

01:25:54.240 reciprocity

01:25:55.700 right

01:25:57.020 we're

01:25:57.680 in this

01:25:58.040 together

01:25:58.480 you said

01:25:59.140 that if

01:25:59.500 you

01:25:59.700 signal

01:26:00.320 warmth

01:26:00.760 for

01:26:00.960 example

01:26:01.320 when

01:26:01.560 you're

01:26:01.700 speaking

01:26:01.940 to

01:26:02.120 your

01:26:02.280 boss

01:26:02.600 then

01:26:02.920 what

01:26:03.780 you're

01:26:04.040 showing

01:26:04.420 him

01:26:05.240 or

01:26:05.400 her

01:26:05.580 is

01:26:05.860 that

01:26:06.160 you're

01:26:07.680 an

01:26:07.820 ally

01:26:08.200 that

01:26:08.420 can

01:26:08.580 be

01:26:08.780 counted

01:26:09.080 on

01:26:09.440 and

01:26:10.380 that's

01:26:12.200 different

01:26:12.560 than

01:26:12.920 competent

01:26:13.900 in the

01:26:14.380 mechanical

01:26:14.800 sense

01:26:15.400 so

01:26:17.240 the

01:26:18.260 use

01:26:18.560 of

01:26:18.720 those

01:26:18.960 fillers

01:26:19.540 that

01:26:19.800 might

01:26:20.040 be

01:26:20.440 that's

01:26:22.720 a

01:26:22.880 warmth

01:26:23.300 manifestation

01:26:24.240 I

01:26:24.720 agree

01:26:25.080 and

01:26:25.340 I

01:26:25.480 guess

01:26:25.740 part

01:26:26.080 of

01:26:26.180 it

01:26:26.300 is

01:26:26.540 yeah

01:26:27.080 go

01:26:27.460 ahead

01:26:27.640 yeah

01:26:28.040 I

01:26:28.480 agree

01:26:29.140 because

01:26:29.820 when

01:26:31.740 warmth

01:26:32.300 the outcome

01:26:33.380 of

01:26:33.700 warmth

01:26:34.080 is

01:26:34.640 you

01:26:35.000 belong

01:26:35.380 here

01:26:35.680 you

01:26:36.520 are

01:26:36.660 safe

01:26:37.060 with

01:26:37.260 me

01:26:37.480 and

01:26:38.480 that

01:26:38.700 allows

01:26:39.180 someone

01:26:39.560 to

01:26:39.920 open

01:26:40.240 up

01:26:40.460 be

01:26:40.760 vulnerable

01:26:41.140 I

01:26:41.760 joke

01:26:42.140 with

01:26:42.320 my

01:26:42.500 highly

01:26:42.820 warm

01:26:43.200 folks

01:26:43.660 so

01:26:43.840 if

01:26:43.960 you're

01:26:44.060 very

01:26:44.340 highly

01:26:44.680 warm

01:26:45.040 you

01:26:45.480 are

01:26:45.640 constantly

01:26:46.260 signaling

01:26:46.720 warmth

01:26:47.120 with

01:26:47.280 your

01:26:47.420 verbal

01:26:47.700 vocal

01:26:48.040 and

01:26:48.220 nonverbal

01:26:48.540 cues

01:26:48.860 and

01:26:49.380 what

01:26:49.520 happens

01:26:49.920 to

01:26:50.120 you

01:26:50.220 it

01:26:50.360 changes

01:26:50.600 your

01:26:50.780 whole

01:26:50.960 life

01:26:51.280 because

01:26:51.700 you

01:26:52.200 sit

01:26:52.420 down

01:26:52.580 on

01:26:52.680 a

01:26:52.780 plane

01:26:53.040 and

01:26:53.200 the

01:26:53.320 person

01:26:53.540 next

01:26:53.780 to

01:26:53.860 you

01:26:53.960 tells

01:26:54.160 you

01:26:54.240 their

01:26:54.360 entire

01:26:54.640 life

01:26:54.900 story

01:26:55.200 you

01:26:56.560 cannot

01:26:56.880 have

01:26:57.560 friendships

01:26:57.880 where

01:26:58.080 people

01:26:58.300 don't

01:26:58.540 dominate

01:26:58.860 the

01:26:59.020 conversation

01:26:59.480 by

01:26:59.720 sharing

01:27:00.440 everything

01:27:00.820 they

01:27:00.980 verbal

01:27:01.260 vomit

01:27:01.540 all

01:27:01.760 over

01:27:01.940 you

01:27:02.140 and

01:27:02.540 that

01:27:02.660 is

01:27:02.780 because

01:27:03.000 you

01:27:03.160 are

01:27:03.280 cuing

01:27:03.600 everyone

01:27:03.960 open

01:27:04.380 up

01:27:04.540 to

01:27:04.660 me

01:27:04.840 you're

01:27:05.640 safe

01:27:05.920 here

01:27:06.180 tell

01:27:06.820 me

01:27:06.960 everything

01:27:07.340 and

01:27:08.220 so

01:27:08.400 that

01:27:08.960 is

01:27:09.140 the

01:27:09.300 symptom

01:27:09.540 of

01:27:09.720 warmth

01:27:10.000 warm

01:27:10.680 folks

01:27:11.240 their

01:27:11.680 main

01:27:12.160 goal

01:27:12.620 is

01:27:13.100 to

01:27:13.240 be

01:27:13.400 liked

01:27:13.860 competent

01:27:15.260 folks

01:27:15.780 their

01:27:16.360 main

01:27:16.860 goal

01:27:17.420 is

01:27:17.780 to

01:27:17.960 be

01:27:18.120 right

01:27:18.640 neither

01:27:20.360 of

01:27:20.580 those

01:27:20.740 are

01:27:20.880 right

01:27:21.080 or

01:27:21.200 wrong

01:27:24.360 people

01:27:24.520 want

01:27:24.540 to

01:27:24.660 be

01:27:24.780 liked

01:27:25.080 they

01:27:25.520 might

01:27:25.640 be

01:27:25.740 taken

01:27:25.920 less

01:27:26.100 seriously

01:27:26.500 they're

01:27:27.100 interrupted

01:27:27.660 more

01:27:28.060 so

01:27:28.780 highly

01:27:29.100 warm

01:27:29.360 folks

01:27:29.600 are

01:27:29.700 interrupted

01:27:29.940 more

01:27:30.140 because

01:27:30.400 they're

01:27:30.660 people

01:27:31.120 think

01:27:31.300 they'll

01:27:31.500 be

01:27:31.600 okay

01:27:31.840 with

01:27:32.020 it

01:27:32.300 whereas

01:27:32.780 highly

01:27:33.080 competent

01:27:33.560 folks

01:27:34.020 they have

01:27:34.480 a totally

01:27:34.740 different

01:27:34.980 set

01:27:35.140 of

01:27:35.260 problems

01:27:35.600 they're

01:27:35.900 told

01:27:36.140 they're

01:27:36.320 cold

01:27:36.780 intimidating

01:27:38.100 hard

01:27:38.920 to

01:27:39.060 talk

01:27:39.260 to

01:27:39.460 they

01:27:40.260 have

01:27:40.440 some

01:27:40.720 trouble

01:27:41.000 getting

01:27:41.220 buy-in

01:27:41.740 or

01:27:41.900 getting

01:27:42.200 friendships

01:27:43.080 and

01:27:43.880 that is

01:27:44.160 because

01:27:44.380 they're

01:27:44.600 so

01:27:44.800 focused

01:27:45.100 on

01:27:45.300 being

01:27:45.500 right

01:27:45.900 that

01:27:46.340 they're

01:27:46.520 willing

01:27:54.360 because

01:27:54.880 they

01:27:55.020 want

01:27:55.220 to

01:27:55.300 make

01:27:55.440 sure

01:27:55.580 that

01:27:55.720 it's

01:27:55.880 right

01:27:56.100 even

01:27:56.340 if

01:27:56.520 it's

01:27:56.680 going

01:27:56.780 to

01:27:56.880 offend

01:27:57.160 you

01:27:57.400 they're

01:27:58.020 more

01:27:58.280 focused

01:27:58.600 on

01:27:58.800 that

01:27:59.120 neither

01:28:00.100 of these

01:28:00.360 are

01:28:00.480 right

01:28:00.640 or

01:28:00.760 wrong

01:28:01.000 but

01:28:01.240 if

01:28:01.900 you

01:28:02.060 want

01:28:02.280 to

01:28:02.400 get

01:28:02.540 ahead

01:28:02.880 you

01:28:03.160 have

01:28:03.640 to

01:28:03.820 couch

01:28:04.220 you

01:28:04.400 have

01:28:04.660 to

01:28:05.140 lubricate

01:28:06.180 your

01:28:06.600 competence

01:28:07.040 with

01:28:07.260 warmth

01:28:07.640 or else

01:28:08.260 you

01:28:08.400 cannot

01:28:08.640 get

01:28:08.860 buy-in

01:28:09.260 so

01:28:10.580 you

01:28:10.820 said

01:28:11.200 and

01:28:11.420 I

01:28:11.540 guess

01:28:11.680 we

01:28:11.820 should

01:28:11.960 probably

01:28:12.240 close

01:28:12.580 with

01:28:12.780 this

01:28:13.000 because

01:28:13.240 surprisingly

01:28:13.980 enough

01:28:14.420 this

01:28:14.780 is

01:28:14.940 almost

01:28:15.240 gone

01:28:15.580 90

01:28:15.880 minutes

01:28:16.220 already

01:28:16.660 so

01:28:18.100 I

01:28:18.260 guess

01:28:18.400 that's

01:28:18.700 the

01:28:18.840 sign

01:28:19.060 of

01:28:19.180 an

01:28:19.320 engrossing

01:28:19.700 conversation

01:28:20.420 you

01:28:21.100 said

01:28:21.420 that

01:28:21.660 you

01:28:21.940 were

01:28:22.360 you

01:28:23.720 intimated

01:28:24.200 that

01:28:24.420 you

01:28:24.580 were

01:28:24.800 awkward

01:28:25.460 and

01:28:26.100 I

01:28:26.560 suspect

01:28:27.260 competency

01:28:27.980 focused

01:28:28.680 but

01:28:28.960 perhaps

01:28:29.420 that's

01:28:29.760 wrong

01:28:30.040 and

01:28:30.960 you

01:28:31.820 you

01:28:33.100 made

01:28:33.320 a

01:28:33.520 study

01:28:33.820 of

01:28:34.040 this

01:28:34.400 why

01:28:36.200 did

01:28:36.420 you

01:28:36.540 do

01:28:36.720 that

01:28:37.100 and

01:28:37.640 what

01:28:39.040 did

01:28:39.320 you

01:28:39.520 do

01:28:39.840 to

01:28:40.040 transform

01:28:40.540 yourself

01:28:41.060 I

01:28:42.600 had

01:28:42.780 a

01:28:42.900 moment

01:28:43.220 in

01:28:43.600 college

01:28:43.920 I

01:28:44.080 went

01:28:44.180 to

01:28:44.300 Emory

01:28:44.520 University

01:28:44.980 and

01:28:46.120 my

01:28:46.800 professor

01:28:47.480 assigned

01:28:48.100 a

01:28:48.380 group

01:28:48.620 paper

01:28:49.000 and

01:28:50.220 I

01:28:50.520 was

01:28:50.720 not

01:28:50.920 good

01:28:51.120 at

01:28:51.240 working

01:28:51.500 in

01:28:51.760 groups

01:28:52.020 people

01:28:52.420 made

01:28:52.640 me

01:28:52.760 nervous

01:28:52.980 and

01:28:53.340 so

01:28:53.520 I

01:28:53.660 went

01:28:53.820 to

01:28:53.980 him

01:28:54.120 in

01:28:54.240 office

01:28:54.520 hours

01:28:54.820 and

01:28:55.020 I

01:28:55.140 said

01:28:55.380 can

01:28:55.640 I

01:28:55.940 write

01:28:56.420 double

01:28:56.800 the

01:28:56.980 amount

01:28:57.200 of

01:28:57.340 pages

01:28:57.680 and

01:28:58.080 do

01:28:58.240 it

01:28:58.340 by

01:28:58.480 myself

01:28:58.960 and

01:29:00.360 he

01:29:00.480 said

01:29:00.680 Vanessa

01:29:01.060 this

01:29:01.960 paper

01:29:02.280 is

01:29:02.500 not

01:29:02.780 about

01:29:03.060 the

01:29:03.240 technical

01:29:03.540 skills

01:29:04.040 it's

01:29:04.360 about

01:29:04.540 the

01:29:04.700 people

01:29:04.920 skills

01:29:05.360 and

01:29:06.960 I

01:29:07.580 was

01:29:08.520 so

01:29:09.380 overwhelmed

01:29:09.960 I

01:29:10.240 was

01:29:10.360 like

01:29:10.500 I

01:29:10.840 don't

01:29:11.460 know

01:29:11.680 how

01:29:12.080 I

01:29:12.780 know

01:29:13.260 how

01:29:13.400 to

01:29:13.520 write

01:29:13.740 but

01:29:13.980 I

01:29:14.120 don't

01:29:14.360 know

01:29:14.740 how

01:29:15.000 to

01:29:15.180 collaborate

01:29:15.620 I

01:29:15.860 was

01:29:16.000 never

01:29:16.200 taught

01:29:16.740 that

01:29:16.940 I

01:29:17.040 was

01:29:17.160 very

01:29:17.400 focused

01:29:17.740 on

01:29:17.880 the

01:29:17.980 confidence

01:29:18.280 side

01:29:18.620 and

01:29:19.320 he

01:29:19.440 said

01:29:19.640 to

01:29:19.760 me

01:29:19.900 listen

01:29:20.200 why

01:29:21.280 don't

01:29:21.440 you

01:29:21.580 study

01:29:21.920 for

01:29:22.140 people

01:29:22.520 like

01:29:22.920 you

01:29:23.080 study

01:29:23.340 for

01:29:23.560 chemistry

01:29:24.020 why

01:29:25.180 don't

01:29:25.340 you

01:29:25.480 study

01:29:25.840 conversation

01:29:26.540 and

01:29:26.840 body

01:29:27.060 language

01:29:27.340 just

01:29:27.680 like

01:29:27.860 you

01:29:28.000 study

01:29:28.240 for

01:29:28.460 subjects

01:29:28.940 soft

01:29:29.700 skills

01:29:29.960 can

01:29:30.160 be

01:29:30.340 learned

01:29:30.680 even

01:29:30.900 if

01:29:31.040 they

01:29:31.120 don't

01:29:31.260 come

01:29:31.420 naturally

01:29:31.740 to

01:29:31.960 you

01:29:32.160 and

01:29:32.580 that

01:29:32.720 is

01:29:32.880 exactly

01:29:33.300 what

01:29:33.600 I

01:29:33.720 did

01:29:34.000 in

01:29:34.520 the

01:29:34.640 beginning

01:29:34.920 I

01:29:35.180 started

01:29:35.560 reading

01:29:36.600 everything

01:29:36.900 I

01:29:37.080 could

01:29:37.260 on

01:29:37.400 nonverbal

01:29:37.700 behavior

01:29:38.060 I

01:29:38.260 read

01:29:38.400 everything

01:29:38.700 I

01:29:38.880 could

01:29:39.020 on

01:29:39.160 conversation

01:29:39.740 and

01:29:40.280 interpersonal

01:29:40.980 relationships

01:29:41.380 the amount

01:29:42.020 of a

01:29:42.540 pause

01:29:42.800 how long

01:29:43.300 should a

01:29:43.640 pause

01:29:43.840 be

01:29:44.020 how many

01:29:44.420 pumps

01:29:44.760 in a

01:29:45.020 handshake

01:29:45.500 and

01:29:46.480 I

01:29:46.920 realized

01:29:47.760 that

01:29:48.160 actually

01:29:48.920 it

01:29:49.180 freed

01:29:49.480 me

01:29:49.780 if

01:29:51.280 I

01:29:51.520 knew

01:29:52.000 the

01:29:52.560 rules

01:29:52.780 of a

01:29:53.000 handshake

01:29:53.420 I

01:29:53.700 didn't

01:29:53.880 worry

01:29:54.120 about

01:29:54.340 it

01:29:54.540 so

01:29:55.580 all

01:29:55.820 of a

01:29:56.060 sudden

01:29:56.280 if

01:29:56.520 I

01:29:56.640 understood

01:29:57.080 the

01:29:57.580 blueprint

01:29:58.060 the

01:29:58.340 rules

01:29:58.680 of

01:29:58.840 interactions

01:29:59.400 I

01:30:00.140 no

01:30:00.320 longer

01:30:00.560 had

01:30:00.800 anxiety

01:30:01.220 about

01:30:01.520 it

01:30:01.720 so

01:30:02.120 if

01:30:02.260 I

01:30:02.420 came

01:30:02.680 prepared

01:30:03.120 with

01:30:03.380 little

01:30:03.900 flashcards

01:30:04.440 of

01:30:04.600 conversation

01:30:04.980 that I

01:30:05.520 had

01:30:05.680 memorized

01:30:06.000 I

01:30:06.680 had

01:30:06.900 no

01:30:07.080 anxiety

01:30:07.600 about

01:30:08.180 the

01:30:08.340 conversation

01:30:08.800 because

01:30:09.080 I

01:30:09.260 always

01:30:09.660 knew

01:30:09.880 that

01:30:10.040 I

01:30:10.160 had

01:30:10.340 a

01:30:10.580 question

01:30:10.880 that

01:30:11.020 I

01:30:11.120 could

01:30:11.260 ask

01:30:11.480 in

01:30:11.580 my

01:30:11.700 back

01:30:12.540 pocket

01:30:12.920 and

01:30:13.980 so

01:30:14.220 the

01:30:14.760 way

01:30:14.940 that

01:30:15.120 I

01:30:15.500 felt

01:30:15.800 transformed

01:30:16.560 was

01:30:17.380 that

01:30:17.660 you

01:30:18.860 can

01:30:19.080 study

01:30:19.420 soft

01:30:19.800 skills

01:30:20.060 like

01:30:20.260 hard

01:30:20.480 skills

01:30:20.860 and

01:30:21.500 that

01:30:21.640 if

01:30:21.780 you

01:30:21.920 understand

01:30:22.440 the

01:30:22.720 blueprint

01:30:23.160 of

01:30:23.660 relationships

01:30:24.180 it

01:30:24.540 actually

01:30:24.920 gives

01:30:25.200 you

01:30:25.360 freedom

01:30:25.700 to be

01:30:26.040 able

01:30:26.160 to

01:30:26.300 be

01:30:26.480 more

01:30:26.680 yourself

01:30:27.120 and

01:30:27.860 it

01:30:27.980 took

01:30:28.160 many

01:30:28.420 years

01:30:28.860 I

01:30:29.120 started

01:30:29.380 that

01:30:29.600 at

01:30:29.800 age

01:30:30.340 19

01:30:30.860 I

01:30:31.760 posted

01:30:33.400 my

01:30:34.140 first

01:30:34.440 blog

01:30:34.860 a

01:30:35.220 couple

01:30:35.420 years

01:30:35.660 later

01:30:35.980 and

01:30:36.680 it

01:30:36.780 went

01:30:36.920 viral

01:30:37.260 there

01:30:37.500 was

01:30:37.640 other

01:30:37.940 awkward

01:30:38.280 people

01:30:38.720 out

01:30:39.160 there

01:30:39.460 who

01:30:40.420 also

01:30:40.900 struggled

01:30:41.240 with

01:30:41.420 conversation

01:30:41.920 and

01:30:42.260 I

01:30:42.420 posted

01:30:42.960 my

01:30:43.480 very

01:30:43.680 first

01:30:43.920 YouTube

01:30:44.160 video

01:30:44.460 in

01:30:44.640 2007

01:30:45.340 when

01:30:46.300 no

01:30:46.440 one

01:30:46.580 knew

01:30:46.700 what

01:30:46.840 YouTube

01:30:47.080 was

01:30:47.500 about

01:30:48.180 conversation

01:30:48.760 and

01:30:49.380 there

01:30:50.220 I

01:30:50.360 realized

01:30:50.700 that

01:30:50.880 other

01:30:51.060 people

01:30:51.260 had

01:30:51.480 this

01:30:51.660 problem

01:30:52.000 and

01:30:52.180 so

01:30:52.320 very

01:30:52.600 slowly

01:30:53.000 I

01:30:53.240 started

01:30:53.500 to

01:30:53.700 post

01:30:53.940 more

01:30:54.240 and

01:30:54.600 also

01:30:55.680 through

01:30:55.980 other

01:30:56.500 awkward

01:30:56.780 people

01:30:57.100 I've

01:30:57.300 been

01:30:57.400 able

01:30:57.620 to

01:30:57.960 transform

01:30:58.960 oh

01:30:59.360 we're

01:30:59.540 not

01:30:59.760 alone

01:31:00.040 in

01:31:00.220 this

01:31:00.520 and

01:31:01.120 there

01:31:01.260 are

01:31:01.400 common

01:31:01.860 pitfalls

01:31:02.320 if we

01:31:02.720 know

01:31:02.840 how to

01:31:03.040 avoid

01:31:03.260 them

01:31:03.400 we

01:31:03.540 can

01:31:03.860 lay out

01:31:05.800 your

01:31:06.020 books

01:31:06.340 for us

01:31:06.900 tell

01:31:07.200 everybody

01:31:07.620 the

01:31:07.820 titles

01:31:08.080 of

01:31:08.340 your

01:31:08.460 books

01:31:08.800 sure

01:31:09.140 I

01:31:09.660 started

01:31:09.860 with

01:31:10.040 captivate

01:31:10.580 in

01:31:10.760 2017

01:31:11.580 that

01:31:12.340 is

01:31:12.460 all

01:31:12.660 about

01:31:12.900 first

01:31:13.260 impressions

01:31:13.780 how

01:31:14.280 to

01:31:14.400 be

01:31:14.540 memorable

01:31:14.980 how

01:31:15.800 to

01:31:15.960 create

01:31:16.480 lasting

01:31:17.760 relationships

01:31:18.380 through

01:31:18.700 the

01:31:18.820 first

01:31:19.060 five

01:31:19.400 minutes

01:31:19.660 the

01:31:19.860 first

01:31:20.100 five

01:31:20.420 hours

01:31:20.840 and

01:31:21.080 the

01:31:21.200 first

01:31:21.380 five

01:31:21.620 days

01:31:22.040 that's

01:31:22.720 how

01:31:22.820 I

01:31:22.960 break

01:31:23.220 down

01:31:23.440 relationships

01:31:23.980 so

01:31:24.260 how

01:31:24.420 to

01:31:24.560 turn

01:31:24.840 strangers

01:31:25.260 into

01:31:25.480 friends

01:31:25.880 into

01:31:26.580 soulmates

01:31:27.380 or

01:31:27.580 partners

01:31:27.940 and

01:31:28.540 so

01:31:28.680 captivate

01:31:29.080 is

01:31:29.220 a

01:31:29.640 treatise

01:31:30.020 of

01:31:30.200 different

01:31:30.700 people

01:31:30.980 skills

01:31:31.260 that

01:31:31.440 I

01:31:31.580 think

01:31:31.740 everyone

01:31:32.060 should

01:31:32.260 have

01:31:32.620 then

01:31:33.180 I

01:31:33.280 came

01:31:33.440 out

01:31:33.540 with

01:31:33.700 cues

01:31:34.040 in

01:31:34.220 2022

01:31:34.700 that

01:31:35.300 was

01:31:35.460 all

01:31:35.760 the

01:31:35.920 nonverbal

01:31:36.360 behavior

01:31:36.720 so

01:31:37.040 it's

01:31:37.240 97

01:31:37.600 different

01:31:38.100 cues

01:31:38.540 nonverbally

01:31:39.720 vocally

01:31:40.500 and

01:31:41.240 verbally

01:31:41.820 I

01:31:42.440 also

01:31:42.660 have

01:31:42.820 a

01:31:42.940 last

01:31:43.180 section

01:31:43.460 on

01:31:43.660 ornaments

01:31:44.120 I

01:31:44.360 do

01:31:44.520 think

01:31:44.720 ornaments

01:31:45.060 are

01:31:45.260 quite

01:31:45.440 important

01:31:45.960 the

01:31:46.480 colors

01:31:46.780 you

01:31:47.000 wear

01:31:47.220 the

01:31:47.460 cues

01:31:47.700 behind

01:31:47.980 you

01:31:48.140 in

01:31:48.200 your

01:31:48.300 background

01:31:48.800 what

01:31:49.500 you

01:31:49.780 wear

01:31:50.160 how

01:31:50.520 you

01:31:50.720 wear

01:31:50.900 things

01:31:51.140 how

01:31:51.280 you

01:31:51.420 wear

01:31:51.540 your

01:31:51.680 hair

01:31:51.900 your

01:31:52.060 glasses

01:31:52.380 so

01:31:52.840 there's

01:31:52.940 a

01:31:53.040 small

01:31:53.280 last

01:31:53.720 section

01:31:54.020 on

01:31:54.180 ornaments

01:31:54.520 and

01:31:54.680 how

01:31:54.780 that

01:31:54.960 cues

01:31:55.160 warmth

01:31:55.420 and

01:31:55.540 competence

01:31:55.920 and

01:31:56.520 then

01:31:56.620 I'm

01:31:56.760 working

01:31:56.940 on

01:31:57.060 my

01:31:57.200 next

01:31:57.420 book

01:31:57.620 now

01:31:57.820 called

01:31:58.100 conversation

01:31:58.700 I

01:31:59.120 love

01:31:59.300 those

01:31:59.540 C

01:31:59.720 words

01:32:00.020 which

01:32:00.860 is

01:32:01.000 all

01:32:01.140 about

01:32:01.300 what

01:32:01.440 we're

01:32:01.520 talking

01:32:01.780 about

01:32:01.960 today

01:32:02.200 so

01:32:02.480 working

01:32:02.920 on

01:32:03.060 that

01:32:03.220 right

01:32:03.480 now

01:32:03.680 and

01:32:04.100 when

01:32:04.240 does

01:32:04.420 conversation

01:32:05.140 come

01:32:05.460 out

01:32:05.720 hoping

01:32:06.080 2026

01:32:06.820 if

01:32:07.700 I'm

01:32:07.860 on

01:32:08.000 time

01:32:08.480 so

01:32:11.040 that's

01:32:12.200 a good

01:32:12.420 place

01:32:12.680 to

01:32:12.860 close

01:32:13.160 I

01:32:13.340 think

01:32:13.580 I

01:32:13.760 think

01:32:14.140 what

01:32:14.300 we'll

01:32:14.460 do

01:32:14.600 on

01:32:14.740 the

01:32:14.840 daily

01:32:15.040 wire

01:32:15.260 side

01:32:15.580 is

01:32:15.800 delve

01:32:16.180 more

01:32:17.060 into

01:32:17.320 the

01:32:17.520 relationship

01:32:18.020 between

01:32:18.760 competence

01:32:20.280 warmth

01:32:20.760 and

01:32:21.060 the

01:32:21.720 big

01:32:21.900 five

01:32:22.320 personality

01:32:23.320 traits

01:32:23.860 and so

01:32:24.760 for

01:32:24.980 everybody

01:32:25.280 who's

01:32:25.580 watching

01:32:25.920 and

01:32:26.100 listening

01:32:26.380 you

01:32:26.620 can

01:32:26.780 join

01:32:27.000 us

01:32:27.180 for

01:32:27.340 an

01:32:27.460 additional

01:32:27.880 20

01:32:28.600 minutes

01:32:28.900 or

01:32:29.060 half

01:32:29.280 an

01:32:29.420 hour

01:32:29.540 on

01:32:29.740 the

01:32:29.860 daily

01:32:30.040 wire

01:32:30.280 side

01:32:30.620 is

01:32:32.920 there

01:32:33.120 anything

01:32:33.620 that

01:32:34.300 you'd

01:32:34.540 like

01:32:34.720 to

01:32:34.920 tell

01:32:35.180 the

01:32:35.400 awkward

01:32:35.720 people

01:32:36.120 in

01:32:36.340 the

01:32:36.460 audience

01:32:36.800 who

01:32:36.980 are

01:32:37.100 listening

01:32:37.500 in

01:32:38.900 closing

01:32:39.960 if

01:32:41.820 you

01:32:41.980 feel

01:32:42.280 underestimated

01:32:43.120 or

01:32:44.140 overlooked

01:32:44.700 that

01:32:46.420 is

01:32:46.580 real

01:32:46.920 and

01:32:47.620 you

01:32:47.720 are

01:32:47.820 not

01:32:47.980 alone

01:32:48.340 and

01:32:49.380 there

01:32:49.520 are

01:32:49.680 very

01:32:50.040 specific

01:32:50.440 things

01:32:50.740 you

01:32:50.880 can

01:32:51.040 do

01:32:51.200 to

01:32:51.360 still

01:32:51.620 feel

01:32:51.820 authentic

01:32:52.180 and

01:32:53.220 make

01:32:53.360 sure

01:32:53.480 that

01:32:53.620 people

01:32:53.820 see

01:32:54.340 you

01:32:54.480 for

01:32:54.620 who

01:32:54.760 you

01:32:54.880 are

01:32:55.020 and

01:32:55.160 take

01:32:55.320 you

01:32:55.460 seriously

01:32:55.880 right

01:32:57.560 right

01:32:57.900 well

01:32:58.140 that

01:32:58.360 touches

01:32:59.540 back

01:32:59.980 on

01:33:00.240 the

01:33:00.520 dichotomy

01:33:01.500 that

01:33:01.700 we

01:33:01.840 opened

01:33:02.080 the

01:33:02.240 conversation

01:33:02.840 with

01:33:03.280 which

01:33:04.160 was

01:33:04.420 it's

01:33:07.220 one

01:33:07.400 thing

01:33:07.600 to

01:33:07.720 be

01:33:07.880 competent

01:33:08.300 but

01:33:08.880 it's

01:33:09.040 another

01:33:09.260 thing

01:33:09.560 to

01:33:09.880 have

01:33:10.760 people

01:33:11.100 aboard

01:33:11.480 and

01:33:11.720 to

01:33:11.860 also

01:33:12.080 have

01:33:12.300 them

01:33:12.520 know

01:33:13.260 that

01:33:13.480 you're

01:33:13.680 competent

01:33:14.080 and

01:33:14.560 it's

01:33:15.420 very

01:33:15.680 painful

01:33:16.200 watching

01:33:17.680 people

01:33:18.080 who

01:33:18.440 are

01:33:20.800 good

01:33:21.040 at

01:33:21.160 what

01:33:21.300 they

01:33:21.480 do

01:33:21.780 and

01:33:22.140 who

01:33:22.260 have

01:33:22.420 a

01:33:22.520 lot

01:33:22.660 to

01:33:22.800 bring

01:33:22.940 to

01:33:23.080 the

01:33:23.220 table

01:33:23.500 who

01:33:24.320 are

01:33:24.500 unable

01:33:24.940 to

01:33:25.440 market

01:33:26.560 themselves

01:33:27.220 and

01:33:28.140 that's

01:33:29.000 not

01:33:29.320 deception

01:33:30.400 and

01:33:31.320 it's

01:33:31.520 not

01:33:31.880 advertising

01:33:32.980 it's

01:33:33.840 communication

01:33:35.260 and to

01:33:36.040 be very

01:33:36.500 effective

01:33:36.980 and

01:33:38.100 successful

01:33:38.600 in your

01:33:39.040 enterprise

01:33:39.500 you have

01:33:41.260 to bring

01:33:41.640 something

01:33:42.000 to the

01:33:42.380 table

01:33:42.680 but you

01:33:43.600 also have

01:33:44.160 to

01:33:44.320 communicate

01:33:44.900 the

01:33:45.260 fact

01:33:45.600 that you

01:33:46.460 are

01:33:46.600 bringing

01:33:46.840 something

01:33:47.260 to the

01:33:47.980 table

01:33:48.260 otherwise

01:33:48.900 you'll

01:33:49.240 be

01:33:49.460 out

01:33:50.560 there

01:33:50.820 in

01:33:51.000 overlooked

01:33:51.560 hell

01:33:52.040 watching

01:33:53.040 the

01:33:53.260 glib

01:33:53.520 psychopaths

01:33:54.320 take

01:33:54.480 credit

01:33:54.740 for

01:33:54.920 everything

01:33:55.180 you

01:33:55.420 do

01:33:55.640 and

01:33:55.860 observing

01:33:57.140 the

01:33:57.360 enterprise

01:33:57.740 collapse

01:33:58.240 around

01:33:58.600 you

01:33:58.800 in

01:33:58.960 consequence

01:33:59.420 so

01:34:00.500 thank

01:34:01.080 you

01:34:01.200 very

01:34:01.400 much

01:34:01.640 for

01:34:01.900 sharing

01:34:02.320 your

01:34:02.520 insights

01:34:02.860 with

01:34:03.080 us

01:34:03.260 today

01:34:03.520 it's

01:34:03.800 much

01:34:04.080 appreciated

01:34:04.700 and so

01:34:05.720 we'll

01:34:05.920 put

01:34:06.100 links

01:34:06.420 up

01:34:06.600 to

01:34:06.720 your

01:34:06.860 books

01:34:07.140 obviously

01:34:07.620 in the

01:34:08.180 in the

01:34:09.220 description

01:34:09.640 and

01:34:10.200 we'll

01:34:11.180 go to

01:34:11.420 the

01:34:11.520 daily

01:34:11.680 wire

01:34:11.900 side

01:34:12.240 and

01:34:12.480 talk

01:34:12.980 about

01:34:13.280 the

01:34:14.000 big

01:34:14.160 five

01:34:14.560 in

01:34:14.800 relationship

01:34:15.300 to

01:34:15.760 life

01:34:17.120 and

01:34:17.360 nonverbal

01:34:17.880 behavior

01:34:18.420 love it

01:34:19.220 thank you

01:34:19.560 so much

01:34:19.880 very nice

01:34:20.080 to talk

01:34:20.400 to you

01:34:20.760 yeah

01:34:21.520 you bet

The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast - July 24, 2025

565. Unlocking the Hidden Power Of Body Language ｜ Vanessa Van Edwards

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