What To Do When You Have No Vision For Your Life
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 40 minutes
Harmful content
Misogyny
11
sentences flagged
Toxicity
60
sentences flagged
Hate speech
25
sentences flagged
Summary
How can you become a good person? How do we become good people? What does it take to be a good human being? Where do we get our ideas? How can we become a better human being if we don t know where they come from? In this lecture, Dr. O'Henry explores the theories of Carl Jung and Freud, and how we can learn how to become better human beings.
Transcript
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Hello, everybody. I'm pleased to release another lecture in my We Who Wrestle With God collection.
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I plan to make this a Sunday ritual, far into the foreseeable future.
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Today's topic, how can you become a good person?
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We're all dreaming up how we should act, and we produce our theories.
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Our great storytellers aggregate those theories and portray them back to us in dramatic form.
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we imitate the heroes of those stories thus we move ever closer to being good we can do this
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consciously too explicitly and aim at becoming the heroes of our own personal stories on to the show
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I spent a lot of time reading Carl Jung's work,
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the Swiss analytical psychologist, student of Freud,
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student of Nietzsche, both in equal proportions,
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explicit ideas, you know, the ideas that we can state and that we understand most
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completely and can communicate most directly, had their origins in the
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imagination and in dreams. And that's a good way of understanding dreams, is that
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so Freud sort of thought that dreams shed light on what you had repressed and did
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the source of ideas is extraordinarily mysterious
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There's another thing you can think about, I suppose
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There are things you just absolutely don't understand at all
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You don't even know you don't know them, right?
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Then there's the things you know you don't know
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It's not as large as the category of the things you don't know that you don't know
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and then there's the things you sort of understand
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But you have a dream at night, let's say, and you don't really understand the dream.
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And you'd think, well, what is this dream doing?
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And obviously, it doesn't need to be, because you dream whether you interpret them or not.
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But you can interpret dreams, and it can be extremely helpful.
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I did a lot of dream interpretation when I was a therapist with my clients who dreamed a lot.
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But if you do, sometimes you can accelerate your development a lot.
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And it's analogous to the difference in some ways between reading a book,
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which you can do and never think about the book at all.
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Or you can read the book and you can think it through and you can analyze it.
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And, you know, there's additional value in the book
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which is partly the utility, let's say, of a humanities education
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The story has a function independent of your explicit interpretation.
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and you collaborate with others and you discuss,
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Now, Jung believed that he was trying to understand why the Western world developed the scientific endeavor.
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Recently, 500 years ago, I mean, you could trace its roots back in some ways to the rational philosophy, let's say, of the Greeks.
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And in the entire history of humankind, that's like yesterday, right?
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We've been creatures genetically identical to ourselves for at least 350,000 years.
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And so 500 years or 3,000 years is just a tiny fraction of that.
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Why did science emerge in the West and nowhere else?
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Remember, that was the endeavor to make gold out of base metals, out of lead
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He believed that the alchemical endeavor was the manifestation of a dream
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But a collective dream that lasted literally thousands of years
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And the dream was an intuition that if you study the transformations of the material world, you could benefit.
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Now, animals don't do that. Animals don't systematically study the material objective world to benefit from it.
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We do that, and we had to figure out that you could do that, and then we had to figure out how to do that.
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And before we could figure out that you could do that, we had to dream up the notion that it might be a useful idea.
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Now, the Philosopher's Stone, which is what the alchemists were searching for, was a miraculous substance that would confer upon the user immortality, perfect health, and indefinite wealth.
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and you might think, well, that's a fiction, or it's a delusion,
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and the dream is there's something hidden in the world of matter
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that, if discovered, would bestow upon us longer lives,
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Wealth and that is what happened when we developed the scientific process we
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Learned to be healthier. We learn to live longer and we learn to be spectacularly more wealthy and so
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The groundwork for that endeavor was laid by this dream
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But they formalized the new technologies that became the scientific endeavor.
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There was an ethical element to the alchemical dream.
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The alchemists were wrestling with trying to understand what sort of people they would have to transform themselves into
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so that they could pursue the deepest mysteries in the best possible way.
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You know, you actually do get trained that way if you're trained as a scientist.
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There's an ethical element to it, which is actually paramount.
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So one of the things, this is why I think someone like Richard Dawkins, for example,
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who's one of the world's most famous atheists, is actually a deeply religious man.
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And the reason I believe that is because he embodies a kind of ethic.
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And the ethic is that, well, here's part of it.
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If you conduct yourself properly, you can understand that order.
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To conduct yourself properly, as a scientist, would mean that you follow what the...
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You follow the pathway that is laid down by careful observation,
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You have to put the pursuit of truth above all.
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And any scientist who's worth his salt does that.
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and make things more difficult for everyone else.
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Right there's none of that's proved to begin with those are the your starting assumptions
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Those are the rules of the scientific game. Those are the religious rules of the scientific game
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Now a question that arises out of that is how do you make yourself into that kind of person and I would say
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We don't know how to do that. That's why it's implicit in scientific training. I mean my graduate supervisor at McGill
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practical person he helped his students learn how to conduct themselves so that
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they could communicate well let's say with other scientists so that they could
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present their data well so that they could move their independent careers
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forward in the practical sense but he also insisted explicitly and by example
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that you didn't muck about with the data right so you couldn't
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gerrymander your statistics so that you got the result that you needed so that you could publish
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the paper that you needed so that you could go to the right conference to get a job
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if you do that you're done as a scientist and so is everybody else who's relying on you but it's
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it's a tricky thing to manage because you can do a study as a scientist and you can spend a year on
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it and it doesn't work and you got nothing and you know a year is a long investment and nothing
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isn't a good return and you have to be willing to take that risk if you're going to actually
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discover something and maybe it won't be a year it'll be five years of false trails right and
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you have to accept that so how do you make yourself into that sort of ethical person
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well there's a broader question under that which is well how do you make yourself into an ethical
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person in general or even why should you bother well in the scientific realm if you're not ethical
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you're the sort of narcissist who leads yourself and many other people astray
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much to the detriment of the entire enterprise and to the broader society especially given the
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power of scientific tools now it's an academy if you want an actual education with hand-selected
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professors from top universities around the world bringing the best professors together
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giving them the audience and the remuneration and appreciation they deserve.
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We figure we can offer people a high-quality university-level education
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So the question of how to make yourself an ethical actor is actually paramount in the scientific world
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And I would say it's equally paramount in the general world
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Now, Jung, the alchemists were wrestling with this notion of what sort of person you'd have to be
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How would you have to construct yourself if you were going to pursue the truth?
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when alchemy turned in and there was a technical element to the alchemical enterprise as well
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the alchemists were the earliest chemists and they were playing around with matter and its
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transformations under conditions of heat and pressure and they didn't have any idea what
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they were doing but they were starting to play and the technical side of science blew up like mad
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starting 500 years ago and so we cottoned on to a technique that enabled the investigation of the
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material world to progress at an exponential rate. And here we are and we
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ain't seen nothing yet. I mean all of us have lived through technological
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transformations that are just a string of miracles and now they're happening
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every day. And God only knows what the consequence of that's going to be. But
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Jung said, well we developed the technological side of the enterprise but
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They fight, and they steal, and they bite, and they kick
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Most of them, how to regulate themselves as social beings
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Because, like, they're this high, and they can't do anything
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So the fact that they're violent doesn't matter
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you know even if they get in a fight two two-year-olds fighting aren't going to do that
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much harm to each other but the impulse is there well we're not two-year-olds we've got major league
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tools and weapons and boy if we don't have our act together those things are going to kick back
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and that might be more true on the artificial intelligence front than it's being true of
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anything we've developed yet i mean the hydrogen bomb is a test case you know and so far we've been
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Most of us are, we're materialist determinists.
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We think that if we just gathered enough facts,
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You can't figure out how to act from the facts.
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Partly because there's an infinite number of facts.
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So, the mere aggregation of facts does not make you wise.
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There's some other domain of knowledge that's necessary.
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Now, when I wrote Maps of Meaning, I started to figure something out.
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you're making a value judgment right because to say one thing comes before another that's a value
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judgment to say that this is more important than that that's a value judgment and it turns out
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you can't even perceive the world without making a value judgment you have to decide where to point
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your eyes every second just to see you cannot see the world without imposing a structure of value on
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it there's a revolutionary discovery it's emerged in about four different disciplines over the last
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In fact, part of the reason we like stories so much
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is because we have to see the world through a structure of value,
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what you're doing is you're adopting the value structure
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of the character you're watching on the movie screen.
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He's a positive figure, complex positive figure,
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And the Joker, obviously, evil clown figure.
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and that's the experience that you're having in the theater,
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so for example, if a hero is aiming at something
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but you'll feel that, because that's what positive emotion
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to you that you're making progress towards a valued
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to know too, because it means if you don't have any goals
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stimulating and exciting, and you think, that's a good way to live, right?
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Or if you're watching an anti-hero, the Joker, or a horror movie,
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you might think, that's a really good thing to avoid.
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And then the movie helps you sort of sketch out the domain of things that you should
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desire and approach, and the domain of things that you should
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It's teaching you how to separate the wheat from the chaff
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You know, you might say, well, James Bond isn't real.
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It's more real than reality, and you can tell that,
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because as soon as you're a stellar mathematician,
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I mean, all of our computational power is a consequence of mathematical mastery.
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It might be an abstraction, but that doesn't make it not real.
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Fiction is abstraction, but that doesn't mean it's not real.
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You don't go to a movie to see the same old thing.
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You go to a movie to see what's real distilled into what's most real.
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You know, I've recommended to people frequently that if they're interested in fiction, they might consider reading Dostoevsky.
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And I would say, read Crime and Punishment, because it's like the world's greatest thriller.
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It's an amazing book. It's incredibly plotted, tense characterization, amazing conflict, brilliant psychological analysis.
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But it's also a fast-paced thriller. Like, he really nailed the noir crime genre.
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They're like you, except expanded and multiplied, right?
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Or you could think, like, his villains are like,
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you take ten villains and you mix them together
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and, you know, that's Raskolnikov in Crime and Punishment.
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psychotherapy, but really part of the purpose of enlightenment itself in life was the discovery of
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what story was living through you or that you lived. Because there's a story. It might be a
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tragedy. It might be a fragmented tragedy, which I wouldn't recommend. It might be a fragmented
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tragedy that's seriously aiming down living through you. You probably want to figure that
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think, well, no, this has nothing to do with me. It's like, you're either living out a great story
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or a pathetic one. There's no non-story root here. And then you might ask, well, then what's the
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greatest story that could grip you or that you could live by? And that is the central question.
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It's the central question of literary criticism. It's actually the central religious question.
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And I sort of mean that by definition. So here's a way of thinking about that. So,
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you know if you come home after work you turn on the tv you want to watch
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that's sitcom maybe you know it's shallow it's it's it's shallow entertainment it's not nothing
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but you know it's not deep and you know the same thing if you're listening to music you know there's
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kind of music that sort of catches your attention the first time you hear it you like the song but
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once you've heard it three times you never want to hear it again and then there's another class
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of music where you might not understand it the first time you listen to it but if you listen to
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it you know five or ten times you start to understand it and there's some pieces of music
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you can just listen to forever they're deep and stories are like that there are shallow stories
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and there are deep stories and you all know that right and it might be that after a hard day at
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work you just don't have the mental acumen for a deep story and you just want something to
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preoccupy yourself. But now and then, you know, you might be in the mood for something with a bit
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more depth. The same thing sort of applies on the conversational front, you know, you can have a
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shallow conversation with people that you know, stay on the surface of things, and sometimes
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that's just there to pass the time, and maybe pleasantly enough, but, well, that's not going
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to work with your wife, not over the long run, or your husband, like, because you have to live with
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each other and because you have to mutually confront the terrible problems that make up life
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if you only communicate in a shallow way you won't form a relationship or a personality
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that has the resilience and wisdom to deal with terrible situations and so you have to engage
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in deep communication with your partner or you will suffer the consequences when a deep problem
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they're going to come along and there's going to be
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And even something that might have only hurt you can just destroy you instead.
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And that seems like not a very good medium to long-term plan.
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You'll go to movies that disgust you, and upset you, and frighten you, paralyze you even.
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And you think, well, what the hell are you doing?
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Why in the world would you choose voluntarily and pay for the opportunity to go and expose yourself to a bunch of terrible things?
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And the answer is, because part of you knows that there's some wisdom in going to voluntarily expose yourself to terrible things.
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and that's a good thing to know about your kids
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It's like, well, how much should you protect your kids?
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It's like, you're not there to protect your kids
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You're there to help them learn how to confront
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that's a good way of thinking about it to the world
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which is really something because it's a piece of work
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He knew that one of the central dangers in families
00:35:08.580
the protective capacity of the mother is over-emphasized and so she holds the child
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too close and there can be a sexual element to that because when things get out of hand
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all sorts of things get out of hand at the same time and in the Oedipal situation the mother
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encourages the child to remain infantile and then she becomes the destructive force because
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and so you have to prepare your children to deal with that
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ability to develop and you have to establish relationship with your child to do that because
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you have to know how much they can take right some kids man when i used to take my little kids to the
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playground when i took mikayla to the playground she would sort of hang around my legs for a while
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you know she'd sit stand off to the edge and watch the other kids and it would take her two or three
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minutes before she'd start moving away you know into the playground and then she'd be out there
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playing she was she had that watchful cautiousness and julian my son he was like a puppy that you
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hold over water you know if you hold a puppy over water their legs will be going before they hit the
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water and that was he was like on the playground you take him to the playground and before you
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put him on the ground his legs were already moving and he was just gone you know and so different
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kids have different paces and the rate at which they can expose themselves to novel and dangerous
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And, you know, the word Eve, you know, Adam and Eve, Eve.
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The word Eve means beneficial adversary in Hebrew.
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Or maybe it's one-on-one pickup basketball and you have to pick an opponent.
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It's like, you could pick someone you could just stomp and then you'd win.
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Or you could pick someone who's a match for you.
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or maybe even a little bit better at some things.
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And so they keep you on the edge, that edge of development.
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And if the game gets a little rough, then, you know, things can go too far.
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But fundamentally, you want to be in that zone.
00:38:17.040
That's the place where you're learning optimally.
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And if you're challenged, if you're dancing with someone properly,
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then you're in the zone of proximal development.
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in business discussion with their wives, let's say
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economic issues, issues of household maintenance
00:39:51.060
And my advice, I suppose, for my clinical clients was,
00:39:55.260
well, you could either spend 90 minutes a week talking to your wife,
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or you can spend 90 minutes a week talking to her divorce lawyer
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for, you know, $300 an hour for 10 years while you fight over your kids.
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Or, you know, if you don't make it to the divorce court,
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you can just leave all these things that should be talked about undone,
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And then your whole life will degenerate into a kind of abysmal complexity of, what, confusion and bitterness.
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And if things go badly enough, the desire just to hurt each other, that just seems like a very bad idea.
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So you spend 90 minutes a week, you know, discussing how to keep things straight
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And where you're both aiming, and why you're both aiming in that direction
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We're all dreaming up how we should act, you know, and our great storytellers aggregate our theories about how we should act and portray them back to us.
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They do that in movies, they do that in books, they do that in TV shows.
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Anything that's got that fictional and dramatic end is the reflection back to us of our dreams about how we should act.
00:41:52.700
And you should figure out what you want it to be.
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who was an MIT-trained engineer, Daniel Higgetts.
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And we talked through this sort of thing a lot.
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And we wanted to do something practical about it.
00:42:20.700
And we had some rules for how we were going to proceed practically
00:42:23.900
when we were developing psychological interventions.
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we had to build an intervention that wouldn't hurt anyone.
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if you're a medical practitioner or a clinical practitioner.
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Your first rule should be, don't do something stupid that will hurt people.
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Yeah, the other thing that you learn as a wise social scientist as well,
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is that just because you think your stupid thing will help people doesn't mean it will.
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Because there's way more ways to hurt people than in order to help them.
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So, for a while, psychologists put psychopaths in prison in group therapy.
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Yeah, well, see, look, there's some wisdom there.
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You can see why that maybe wasn't such a good idea.
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And the reason it wasn't a good idea was because they got a lot better at being psychopaths.
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And so, and now it's actually quite well documented.
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Because, you know, dealing with antisocial people is a real problem.
00:43:38.080
have tried to crack that problem for a long time.
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And one of the things they definitely learned was
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don't group psychopaths together so that they can communicate
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Take the poor psychopaths, let them unburden their soul,
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walk them through the psychotherapeutic process with other people.
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It's like, yeah, especially the psychopaths, as it turns out.
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So we wanted to build tools that wouldn't hurt anybody. We wanted to build them
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so that they were extremely inexpensive and widely distributable and scalable and would require no administrative
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And we wanted to do all that at a profit so that we could continue generating more tools and
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the resultant programs and so the first program we built
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was the self-authoring suite and so i'll just tell you about it a bit it's something you might
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think about doing like you don't have to do it but you have to do something like it
00:44:49.200
and you do do something like it you're either going to do it badly or well and you might as
00:44:54.780
well do it well and you might as well do it consciously because otherwise you'll do it
00:44:57.840
badly and unconsciously and that's not as good and it's takes a lot more time and there's a lot
00:45:05.400
more misery along the way so you might as well do it consciously one of the things you do as a
00:45:10.740
psychotherapist is you help people flesh out a vision for the future and you help them
00:45:15.100
straighten out the story of their past and story is like a map i suppose it's it's a description
00:45:23.700
of the territory with an indication of how you should conduct yourself while you're traversing
00:45:29.140
the territory. And in the self-authoring suite, there are three exercises, and the first one
00:45:35.000
helps you deal with your past. Now, some people, this is germane to rule nine. If old memories
00:45:43.840
still upset you, write them down carefully and completely. If old memories still upset you,
00:45:48.740
if they still grip you, they come back involuntarily,
00:45:53.980
it means that there are holes in your map of the past.
00:45:59.680
There are places you've been that you went to accidentally that were not good places,
00:46:07.560
And the wise, unconscious parts of your mind that are concerned with threat,
00:46:20.320
so that you deviated into this hellish place once before
00:46:45.860
which one of the things you might do in therapy
00:47:05.620
imagine you broke your life down into seven sections
00:47:11.040
the most significant things that happened to you
00:47:15.560
negative and positive and then why do you think the negative things happened and
00:47:22.980
what were you doing right so that the positive things happen and how could you do
00:47:28.440
more of that and less of the things that got you in trouble and that's worth revisiting you know
00:47:36.120
because some of the things you do when you're like 17 or 16 or 5 or 30 you know you were young and
0.91
00:47:42.260
you didn't know what the hell was going on and you did stupid things and now maybe you're older
0.96
00:47:46.480
and somewhat wiser and you can go back and take a look and you can think well here's how I should
0.99
00:47:51.140
have conducted myself and if I conduct myself like that improved me going forward things will
00:47:58.400
work better and the part of your mind that keeps track of how unstable your existence is will be
00:48:04.760
very pleased to see you sort those things out and that's very good for your health by the way because
00:48:10.120
one of the ways your brain computes how stressed you should be on average
00:48:15.880
is by computing how many terrible things have happened to you in the past
00:48:22.080
And the more of those there are, the more your brain thinks
00:48:26.980
And the more dangerous the world is, the more you're on edge and stressed.
00:48:34.640
The more stressed you are, the faster you will age.
00:48:51.740
and you should be able to move forward with more effectiveness
00:48:59.320
and so one of the instructions we have in the self-authoring program is
00:49:37.880
that if you got people to write about their lives
00:49:53.000
It wasn't a consequence of emotional expression
00:50:07.480
to protect yourself against that as you were going forward.
00:50:13.020
So that you can duplicate things that worked in the past
1.00
00:50:16.780
and so that you can cease to do the stupid things
0.99
00:50:22.660
You don't remember the past to keep a record of it.
00:50:41.180
So here is, imagine there's a couple of different ways of conceptualizing yourself.
00:50:45.780
You sort of conceptualize yourself as a clockwork robot.
00:50:48.680
That's driven forward by deterministic impulses and needs and drives.
00:50:55.180
And you're sort of a machine, a deterministic machine.
00:50:58.460
Driven forward by causal processes in the world.
00:51:01.880
That's the modern metaphor for a human being, and it's wrong.
00:51:07.380
It's wrong partly because no machine that works like that can survive into the future,
00:51:15.400
And so if you're just an automaton, you'll do the same thing that you did in the past,
00:51:27.500
It's also not exactly the case that what you confront is
00:51:37.320
What you seem to confront, what your consciousness is for
00:51:40.460
Is to take the possibility that's in front of you
00:51:51.780
And you're not thinking about the furniture in the bedroom
00:51:56.000
you're not thinking about the objects around you
00:52:00.660
and maybe you're happy about that, maybe you're not
00:52:04.360
and you're starting to grapple with the possibilities of the day, right?
00:52:07.660
because the day is a set of unrevealed possibilities
00:52:24.800
And if you have any sense when you're sitting there in bed, you're trying to figure out how to turn that realm of possibility into the actuality that you would like it to be.
00:52:35.100
Now, you can be all bent and warped in that pursuit because maybe you're angry and bitter and resentful.
00:52:39.880
And all you can do is conjure up images of how you could make your life worse or someone else's and extract out the revenge that goes along with that.
00:52:47.440
Or you could be thinking, you know, seize the day.
00:52:51.780
What could I do with this expansive possibility that's in front of me?
00:52:58.740
and it's true on a weekly basis, and monthly, and yearly.
00:53:01.800
It's this tremendous expanse of potential in front of you,
00:53:30.600
Well, the future authoring program helps people figure that out.
00:53:39.660
I think thought, by the way, is secularized prayer.
00:53:46.820
You ask yourself a question that you want the answer to.
00:54:48.000
and that is a kind of miracle of stupidity
1.00
00:54:50.620
because there isn't a more important question
1.00
00:54:52.980
and so this exercise helps you grapple with that
00:55:16.840
Because if you really want the answer to a question
00:55:22.620
That means you'll give up anything to get the answer
00:55:28.000
Especially when the answer is going to be a little on the unsettling side
00:55:34.220
What stupid things am I doing to muck up my life
1.00
00:55:42.560
So generally, you don't ask the question, but you could.
00:55:47.000
In this exercise, you're asked to put yourself into a particular state of mind.
00:55:53.160
It's not any kind of, you know, Zen, Buddhist, Western, mystical, you know, West Coast, California, mystical exercise.
00:56:04.640
It's like, just imagine for a moment that would be okay if things were set right around you.
00:57:13.700
Because you will not get what you want unless you aim for it.
00:57:16.800
And you will not aim for it if you don't know what it is.
00:57:19.720
And you won't know what it is unless you let yourself in on the secret.
00:57:34.840
But you can sketch out an approximation, right?
00:57:46.760
because you've moved a little farther down the path
00:58:07.680
It's a successive sequence of stupid plans
1.00
00:58:25.600
That's useful, because as we already pointed out
00:58:28.100
If you're not moving towards something that you want to aim at
00:58:37.040
and you see yourself moving towards the goal now you have hope and that's a pretty good deal in a
00:58:44.000
world that's rife with suffering to have hope you know and hope is a good bulwark against catastrophe
00:58:51.140
and so if you're aiming at something you regard as noble and worthwhile now you have hope and
00:58:57.400
then you can break it down so that even someone who lacks talent as much as you could make some
00:59:05.520
progress in that direction and it turns out that's all you really need to do
00:59:09.360
because progress feeds on itself and starts to accelerate and so you know if
00:59:13.980
you set your goal and you're moving slowly to begin with as long as you're
00:59:17.040
moving forward you're gonna move faster and faster and that's an iron law of
00:59:21.120
reality just like if you're aiming down you'll aim down faster and faster and
00:59:25.980
so the next part of the exercise is the reverse it's like okay now we have a
00:59:32.040
A vision, laid out, positive vision, you can pursue that.
00:59:37.000
It's got to be something like, something you'd commit to, you know, a game you'd like to play.
00:59:44.920
It has to justify the sacrifices that would go along with its pursuit.
00:59:48.540
And you have to be convinced of that. It has to be an honest game.
00:59:51.520
And then you can do the reverse. You can think, okay, if you took stock of your faults,
00:59:56.120
which you know of, most of them, some of them anyways, and you really let that get out of hand,
01:00:25.120
What's the nature of the hell I would find myself in
01:00:29.460
because then the next time you're tempted in that direction you can remember
01:00:32.860
that's where this leads and it leads away from the place i want to go how about i don't do it
01:00:40.900
well then you have a place to aim from and a place to run away from and that
01:00:45.720
puts you in a pretty motivated position and you need to be in a pretty motivated position because
01:00:50.060
there's lots of obstacles to get the hell out of the way and then you might say i had clients who
01:00:56.100
said, well, I don't really know what I want. I don't know what to do. I don't know where the
01:01:01.240
meaning is to be found in life. And so I thought about that for a long time. And I thought, well,
01:01:04.820
where do people find meaning? You know, just on average. It's like, well, here's seven
01:01:11.000
ways of breaking your life into parts. Most people want an intimate relationship.
01:01:26.020
And maybe it's fortunate for someone else that you don't.
01:01:29.140
But usually, it's usually a bitter lie that you don't.
01:01:34.680
But maybe you're misanthropic and better off on yourself, by yourself.
01:01:38.140
I'm not saying every single person has to do all seven of these things.
01:01:41.720
But they're good rules of thumb, especially if you don't know which way is up.
01:02:12.320
Maybe you even get served something you'd like to eat
01:03:15.080
Cammie has another story that she tells about how she decided to work on her relationship with her father and her sisters and put that in order.
01:03:23.200
You know, and she did that when she was like 45.
01:03:26.060
Pretty, you know, relatively late in life, but she made it a priority and it worked.
01:03:30.560
And so for 20 years, she had a great relationship with her sisters and her father.
01:03:40.880
First of all, figure out what that would look like.
1.00
01:03:42.580
And you know, you might have some miserable son of a bitch in your family
1.00
01:03:49.920
You get people who are so ensconced in their misery
01:03:55.460
It's like, okay, well you're going to have to walk around that person
01:04:00.320
I'm not trying to be, you know, naively optimistic about this
01:04:03.980
But most of the time the people who are in your family are no worse than you
01:04:41.080
Well that means I would have to not associate with certain people
01:05:05.680
Job is something you have to do to keep body and soul together
01:05:09.820
It doesn't necessarily have to be intrinsically meaningful.
01:05:16.820
And you're making enough money so that you can support your family.
01:05:26.280
And so you have a job that has some intrinsic meaning.
01:05:29.700
But either way, job or career, why not have a plan?
01:05:34.240
You know, I worked with people in my clinical practice.
01:05:38.060
Let's see if we can figure out how to make you three times as much money in three years
01:05:47.120
And it often required a certain degree of, you know, radical movement on the part of the persons involved
01:06:05.000
A lot of willingness to put yourself out on the job market
01:06:15.840
that an employer would be happy to take a risk on
01:06:18.880
and development of the ability to find an employer
01:06:33.460
I mean, people are successful from time to time
01:06:51.380
How do you take care of yourself physically and mentally?
01:07:01.520
You know the kind of temptations that are out there
01:07:06.860
You know, you want to be Barney Gumbel from The Simpsons?
01:07:12.960
Or, you know, do you want to approach your vice with a bit of sophistication?
01:07:28.460
Depends on what you want and who you want to be.
01:07:32.920
We added another component, which we haven't worked into the program yet.
01:07:36.560
It's like, what should you do on the civic front?
01:07:39.420
You know, because you have a civic responsibility.
01:07:44.340
But then you can have to take some responsibility for the broader community.
01:07:49.460
And if it isn't you, it'll be some crazy woke bastard.
1.00
01:07:54.060
Well, and so that's part of this self-authoring process
01:08:20.780
It's the structure that directs your attention and aims your action.
01:08:33.680
If you're hedonic and chaotic, it just means that you inhabit a world of fragmentary narratives.
01:09:05.720
Refused to grow up and live in a world of fantasy
01:09:10.760
Because if you're not the author of your own ideal
01:09:13.420
Then you're playing a bit part in someone else's story
01:09:16.520
And they might not have given you the best part
01:09:31.260
Overlaying the proper structure of interpretation on it
01:09:36.980
How would I have to contend with the possibility that's in front of me
01:09:41.800
so that the things that would justify my life with all its suffering,
01:09:46.100
how could that lay itself out so that would work for me?
01:09:50.120
Because we all have difficult things to contend with
01:09:52.480
and we all have very many difficult things to contend with.
01:09:55.420
And in all probability, you need a reason to contend with them
01:09:59.720
so that you don't descend into an abyss of bitterness.
01:10:05.980
because maybe you could structure the way that you're interacting with the world
01:10:12.480
so that you could have a great romantic adventure.
01:10:18.560
so that all of the difficulty associated with it
01:10:21.600
would be, well, optimally, that'd be part of the game.
01:10:33.460
so that it's a bit of a challenge to make the shot.
01:10:37.700
It's like, well, how much challenge do you need in your life?
01:10:40.100
maybe a lot, maybe enough to justify its suffering.
01:10:48.500
You know, maybe you have to see yourself as someone who can overcome
01:10:51.840
even the ultimate in obstacles in order to reconcile yourself to existence.
01:10:56.360
And maybe that's what you're like in the deepest recesses of your soul.
01:11:01.540
And that's the deepest religious claim, in some sense,
01:11:05.840
You've forgotten it, or you're unwilling to realize it.
01:11:09.580
Maybe you're unwilling to take responsibility for it, but it's nonetheless the truth.
01:11:16.540
And I would say, too, that ties the whole story back to the beginning of this talk, too, which is...
01:11:23.580
Well, Jung's insistence that, you know, we blew up our technological ability and left our ethical ability primitive.
01:11:33.380
because what happens if we blow up our ethical ability
01:11:37.060
to the same degree that we've blown up our technological ability?
01:11:40.080
Well, it means that everyone has to wake up to some degree
01:11:43.640
and become developed enough to deal with the tools that we've produced.
0.99
01:11:49.340
You know, we'll end up like China, and quickly,
1.00
01:11:53.680
and that's not such a good idea, and I think that's your problem.
0.65
01:11:58.520
You know, part of the reason that Tammy and I continue the tour is because,
01:12:04.960
But it's also predicated on the firm belief that
01:12:22.940
It is the case that each of us is a center of the cosmos
01:12:30.740
because you can't really think of something that has multiple centers.
01:12:37.540
And in the final analysis, we really don't know what that means.
01:12:40.540
It means something with metaphysical significance, right?
01:12:51.460
What does it mean to be a center of consciousness?
01:12:54.120
Well, it means that the cosmos rotates around you in some fundamental manner
01:12:59.040
and that you shape the manner in which it manifests itself by your choices.
01:13:07.040
And then you think, well, that's a hell of a thing.
01:13:13.380
but it's also one that has an unlimited amount of potential associated with it.
01:13:18.960
Think, well, what would happen if you played a straight visionary game?
01:13:21.900
You know, you figured out just exactly who you could be
01:13:25.180
and then you spent the rest of your bloody life
0.97
01:13:30.800
Well at minimum you'd be a hell of a lot better off
01:13:34.100
And God only knows what you could develop around you
01:13:44.640
And you got to where the hell you were supposed to go
01:14:19.480
you're bound by the specifics of your time and place
01:14:24.580
you're you with all your possibilities and flaws you're in this time that's got its
01:14:32.100
opportunities and its obstacles and you have to take that universal story
01:14:36.340
of coping with cataclysm and catastrophe and you have to realize it in the confines of your own
01:14:41.620
life that's your ethical duty and because it's such a cataclysmic problem you have to have a noble
01:14:48.020
after nobility of vision to manage it properly and so you have to develop that vision and you
01:14:59.340
You have to dream up something that justifies your miserable existence.
01:15:05.500
And God only knows what will happen if you do that.
01:15:08.140
And you can be sure that if you do that properly, it will be the best thing that could possibly happen.
01:15:15.460
To live so that the best thing that was possibly happening, moment to moment, was exactly what was happening to you.
01:15:42.460
And if enough people continue to do what they're doing now
01:15:50.140
and I think part of the reason that you're all here
01:17:42.000
not really okay okay okay i was just curious well you never know it might have been later
01:17:52.380
i venture into the realm of the political with apprehension but i will tell you one thing that
01:18:03.460
i've noticed tammy and i've been traveling around the world the western world primarily
01:18:07.900
for quite a long time really for four years and we've been a lot of places and we've met a lot
01:18:13.060
of people and i can tell you that canada's international reputation is in shambles
01:18:17.480
you have no idea like even if you're not a fan of the manner in which we're currently operating
01:18:23.540
this country the probability that you understand the way canada is perceived
01:18:58.660
going on in this country that are seriously not good and so and you did the activism of the
01:19:07.700
judiciary is certainly one of those things that's the abdication of responsibility on the part of
01:19:13.020
the legislative branch they won't make difficult decisions they slough them off to the judiciary
01:19:18.920
because the judiciary now has more power than it should because of that abdicated responsibility
01:19:23.940
the woke power mongers have invaded the legal field and now they dominate it.
01:19:29.160
The lawyers I know in Ontario who have a clue have told me multiple times that five years ago
01:19:36.820
when they took a court case, they knew if they're going to win or lose because they knew the
01:19:41.280
precedence and they knew if they had a strong case or not. And if they had a strong case
01:19:45.000
and they knew the precedence, they could predict the outcome. They told me recently that they can't
01:19:49.740
tell it all anymore because the probability that the judge will take it upon him or herself to
01:19:54.320
arbitrarily decide in some generally woke direction is enough to make the whole bloody process random
01:20:00.740
and that is seriously not good the only reason this country is rich is because it's ensconced
01:20:07.740
inside the english common law tradition and that's a tradition of precedent and you demolish that
01:20:14.100
precedent you're at the hands of the ideologues and that is not a good place to be and so
01:20:19.520
you know the the multiplication of say human rights tribunals and that sort of quasi-judicial
01:20:30.300
board you see that happening in universities too is that's that's the activist judiciary
01:20:35.920
spreading its tentacles everywhere and then you might say well why does that happen and i would
01:20:40.560
say and this is something we're thinking about practically speaking what's the rule
01:20:58.120
It's like, well, it might be time for you to step in
0.99
01:21:13.480
to the degree that ideologically addled tyrant wannabes run the country it's because
01:21:22.640
we've abdicated our civic responsibility and so if you're not happy with the people who make up
01:21:28.880
your local school board it's like well how'd they get there it's not like they're the world's most
01:21:34.340
competent people the door was open there was an invitation no one's doing this well i think i'll
01:21:41.940
take that it's like yeah no kidding so i would say if you're not happy with the way the country's
01:21:49.720
being run it's time to do something on the political front and you know then and then we
01:21:59.980
could make this concrete you know if if our institutions are so pathological that there's
01:22:05.480
no point in getting in you getting involved then you better head for the hills and dig yourself a
01:22:09.920
seller because that's your that's your basic option if the institution themselves are salvageable
01:22:17.140
then someone better salvage them and then you might say well how would you get involved if you
01:22:22.800
wanted to and why would you and i would say well it's easy to get involved it's like join a political
01:22:26.860
party you know join the worst one if you want and there's a field of opportunity for you you know
01:22:38.220
And I would say, well, first of all, because it's your responsibility.
01:22:41.920
And second of all, how about because if you don't, someone worse will.
01:22:45.640
And then the next thing is, God only knows what you learn.
01:22:49.680
You know, maybe you're not a great speaker and you can't think that clearly.
01:22:55.060
But because the political field in general is understaffed terribly, the opportunity for people who are even vaguely competent is ridiculously high.
01:23:08.760
And so you'll find if you do involve yourself politically at whatever level, and you actually do the work, that opportunities will just multiply like you can't believe.
01:23:19.800
because you'll find yourself quickly in a position
01:23:38.240
I don't know what fraction of the civic responsibility
01:23:45.300
And so, you know, there's 6,000 people in this hallway
01:23:49.140
If everyone here determined as part of their vision
01:23:52.880
To take on a certain degree of civic responsibility
01:23:57.680
To completely change, certainly to change this province
01:24:00.320
So, you know, here's a way of sort of figuring out
01:24:13.720
you know you're fuming away while you're watching the news we have a rule now i hate this rule but
0.81
01:24:19.840
we have it anyways i'm very bitchy in airports because i really hate airports i think they're
0.65
01:24:25.200
training grounds for totalitarians and they really grate on me and so i'm just crabby as
0.59
01:24:31.180
hell whenever i'm in an airport and that's not so fun for tammy because you know she knows that i
0.62
01:24:36.340
don't like totalitarians but she also doesn't like you know traveling with someone who's like a what
01:24:45.860
The rule is now if I'm gonna bitch about something I have to write a column about it
0.83
01:24:50.020
And so if it isn't worth doing something about then I have to shut up. That's very annoying
0.69
01:24:59.380
But it's a good rule, you know, it's a good rule so
01:25:07.700
That's a marker to your responsibility because it's bugging you for a reason
01:25:12.100
it's bugging you because it's your problem it for whatever reason it happens to be your problem
01:25:18.740
and so if you don't do something about it either nothing will get done there's someone that you
01:25:25.220
don't want to do something about it will do something about it and then and then we'll be
01:25:30.900
going wherever the hell we're going at the moment and i don't think that's a very good idea so all
01:25:58.400
What are your thoughts on the decriminalization of drugs
01:26:03.180
well the the war on drugs wasn't very effective
01:26:11.360
there were a lot of reasons for that one of the unintended outcomes remember i said earlier that
0.99
01:26:21.520
your stupid intervention isn't going to do what you think it is it's going to do a bunch of things
0.99
01:26:25.940
you don't predict you know 20 years ago there was like five substances that you could use to really
1.00
01:26:32.420
screw up your life and now there's like 300 and the reason there's 300 is because we criminalized
0.98
01:26:38.280
those five and that just incentivized chemists many of them chinese to produce variants of those
0.96
01:26:43.920
chemicals that weren't technically illegal that were often even more addictive and so we now we
0.86
01:26:49.400
have instead of heroin now we have fentanyl and instead of amphetamine we have methamphetamine
01:26:54.500
and i suspect that in the not too distant future we'll have chemicals that'll make fentanyl look
01:27:01.520
like pablum and so no one expected that it's like we'll make five things illegal now we'll have 300
01:27:08.580
things it doesn't look like that's good policy now the opposite of that is just let people do
01:27:16.360
what the hell they want and then you get san francisco and that doesn't look good that doesn't
01:27:22.320
look good either and uh lots of toronto could lots of canada could look like san francisco in
01:27:28.420
the next 10 years if if we want that and so portugal decriminalized all drugs but they didn't
01:27:35.780
do it the san francisco way you don't get to make a public nuisance of yourself on your favorite
01:27:41.160
chemical and so if you're unable to regulate your own behavior then you get shunted off to treatment
01:27:47.400
now that's a bit dangerous right because it isn't obvious you want to put mandatory treatment in the
01:27:52.940
hands of the state but we already kind of do that with prison because prison is a form of mandatory
01:27:57.980
treatment for misbehavior so it looks like it doesn't look like blanket prohibition on drug
01:28:04.940
use is useful it didn't work with prohibition it certainly didn't work with marijuana didn't
01:28:09.060
really work with cocaine it caused a huge explosion in the prison population and then it produced this
01:28:14.720
multiplication of addictive chemicals the the approach in portugal seemed to work quite well
01:28:20.720
which is like somewhat liberal attitude towards the availability of drugs on the at least with
01:28:27.080
regards to their criminal what to criminal punishment but an insistence on public order
01:28:35.140
and on treatment in the cases where people are no longer able to regulate themselves because of
01:28:40.400
their drug use and so those policies already exist and there are countries that have implemented
01:28:46.400
them and if the do-gooders in canada who want to be you know welcoming and compassionate to the
01:28:55.300
addicted had the courage of their convictions they put some stick in along with the carrot
01:29:00.820
and then you know maybe we could guide ourselves with some degree of intelligence so
01:29:10.820
you are following mek this is number this was the number one question
01:29:46.660
the fact that i follow someone on twitter doesn't mean i support them
01:29:59.620
i follow all sorts of people on twitter and they're often people i'm trying to keep an eye on
01:30:15.300
and i would also say that and this is no doubt due to my you know still remaining vast pools of
01:30:26.340
ignorance mek isn't someone whose activities i particularly concentrate on and that isn't
01:30:31.800
necessarily because they're not worth concentrating on it's more the fact that there's only so many
01:30:36.660
things you can concentrate on and that isn't one of the things that has announced themselves to me
01:30:41.980
as requiring my concentration at this moment i'm not even saying that's right it's just that's just
01:30:48.500
how it is so but there's no reason to assume that mere following means support i mean i follow
01:30:54.700
kamala harris you know whatever the i'm not supporting whatever the hell she's doing i'm
01:31:05.440
not supporting it so so i don't want to be flippant about that answer you know it's like
01:31:11.500
i i'm that's that political domain i'm not nearly as informed about as i could be that's part of
01:31:18.260
the reason why i'm following uh in the manner that i am and trying to learn about it but
01:31:22.720
it's not a matter of support so that's the answer to that question okay one more all right all right
01:31:31.580
here's one do you have a kermit the frog themed suit
01:31:36.340
not yet no i should i should i should tell the lgfg guys that yeah so this suit manufacturer
01:31:47.800
lgfg they're called they came to me about a year ago with this proposal they just sent it to me out
01:31:53.700
of the blue they said they would make me one suit for each rule from my first book and they made a
01:31:59.000
very creative set of suits they sent it like an illustrated little book along with it and
01:32:03.220
i got to tell you about this one because this one's really funny so this is a tuxedo and this
01:32:10.400
fabric which they invented is a cloth that's saturated with jade which is why it's green
01:32:18.640
now i so they crushed it you know down to the molecular level i suppose and impregnated the
01:32:24.340
the cloth with it which is why it's all glittery like uh liberaci and uh and so and in the back of
01:32:34.480
these suits one of the rules is printed on each of the underneath the collars now this suit has
01:32:39.940
a renaissance motif it's the garden of eden inside it as the lining and this
01:33:36.340
Well, if you want to make me those suits, then just go ahead.
01:33:39.340
They made me a Twitter suit, which I've only worn once.
01:33:50.660
Like, I haven't seen a baby blue suit since, you know,
01:33:59.200
And then it has this tie that's covered with Elon Musk heads.
01:34:03.900
and so that's ridiculously funny and they brought this suit over and i thought oh there's no bloody
01:34:11.240
way i'll ever wear that and so i put it on and i wore it one night and i thought i like this suit
01:34:17.780
look and tammy at least didn't object too much and i think secretly she liked it too and so
01:34:24.640
they've made me some very wild suits and uh and uh
01:34:29.320
and this one's the funniest i think this trudeau bloody
01:34:34.440
pocket square is ridiculously comical so you know and i'll tell i'll tell you a story i'll
01:34:43.620
tell you a little story about this suits and and then we'll close and so in 2017
01:34:49.520
i rented a theater in toronto and i did this lecture series on genesis and it was the first
01:34:58.740
public lecture series i'd done and so my family rented the theater and we rented it for 16 shows
01:35:06.420
and so we took a risk because we didn't know if people would come and listen to the lectures
01:35:11.880
you know because i was lecturing on genesis and i mean who the hell wants to come and listen to
01:35:17.720
that it turned out lots of people did mostly young men which was also completely shocking
01:35:22.980
and so we packed the theater and uh and then we rented a theater in LA I had my daughter I think
01:35:31.640
Mick arranged that that was really comical too because I didn't know what the hell I was doing
01:35:36.560
I phoned up this theater and and and I found out who the theater was and I think I phoned them it
01:35:44.560
might have been Michaela and they were kind of dismissive because it's a big theater it held
01:35:49.000
four thousand people and you know first of all performers don't phone theaters and arrange for
01:35:56.340
the rental they have agents that do that there are professionals that do that so if you phone
01:36:00.320
a theater and ask to rent it they just think you're they're that you're insane and so they
01:36:06.740
didn't know what to make of me but they did agree to rent the theater to me and it sold out and so
01:36:13.120
then they were they were much more pleased with me after that but and then we found at that point
01:36:18.940
because i had arranged to some people had arranged for me to speak in london at the same time
01:36:25.640
and as soon as they put the tickets on sale they all sold out and so they booked another hall and
01:36:30.200
they all sold out and so then it and then the same thing happened in new york and so then we realized
01:36:35.840
that it looked like the theaters would sell out wherever we booked them so we decided to arrange
01:36:42.540
a tour and this agency creative artists agency got a hold of me at about the same time they're
01:36:48.360
always on the lookout for um for people who can fill theaters because that's what they do and
01:36:55.020
they're good sharks and they're the professionals at negotiating this sort of thing they've handled
01:36:59.720
that ever since anyways we laid out this tour and uh i was thinking about how to prepare and i thought
01:37:06.720
well I'm going to prepare a hundred percent because this is a ridiculous opportunity and
01:37:13.420
I'm going to give it absolutely everything I've got and so I'd always dressed up as a professor
01:37:19.560
I always wore a suit even when I was very young and I have my reasons for that my father was a
01:37:23.660
teacher and he always wore a suit and I asked him why he did that at one point he said it was to
01:37:27.720
show respect to his students and I thought that was a good answer my dad was a hunter and a kind
01:37:32.940
of a rough guy and it's like he lived in a suit he wore it to work and when I started teaching at
01:37:39.160
Harvard I wasn't much older than the students that I was teaching and wearing a suit was also
01:37:43.180
a good way of establishing the proper hierarchy and I'm not averse to proper hierarchies in fact
01:37:49.800
I know they're necessary and that helped too because the students knew who the students were
01:37:55.260
and who the professor was and we got along just fine as a consequence so when I went on tour I
01:38:01.040
thought I'm going to get some nice suits and so I went to this tailor in Toronto and I bought a
01:38:06.480
very nice blue suit and I spent like more money on it than I'd spent in clothes on clothes in my
01:38:10.960
entire life and it really quite made me quite nervous because I thought you know can you really
01:38:15.700
justify that sort of expense and I thought no bloody way I'm going out to talk to 150,000 people
01:38:23.680
I'm not leaving anything anything to chance and so I bought that suit and a couple of others and
01:38:56.540
and the couples who come are often dressed quite formally like they're at a wedding and so
01:39:01.980
that's so cool to see and a lot of the guys that come up in the meet and greets afterwards because
01:39:07.180
i meet about 150 people after these shows it's like the first suit they've ever bought and they
01:39:12.300
bought it for their for the for the event and i had no idea when i you know laid out the investment
01:39:20.820
for that first suit that it would have that kind of social consequence but it has and it's nice to
01:39:25.300
see people it's nice to see young people dressed like adults you know i mean there's a place for
01:39:32.180
casual wear and fair enough on all of that but it's just it's just another example of the
01:39:40.320
unintended consequences i suppose of aiming up you know i wanted to do that right and then that
01:39:45.280
had a social consequence and everything you do right has a social consequence way more than you
01:39:50.900
think way more than you think who knows how far it echoes you don't know echoes through eternity
01:39:57.560
that's actually true the good and the harm you do they they both echo through eternity
01:40:02.960
that's a very daunting idea but it's true and so and so no i don't have a kermit suit
01:40:11.340
but it's a good idea maybe i'll ask them about it so thank you all very much for coming tonight