The Matt Walsh Show - February 02, 2022


Am I The A＊＊hole？ Matt Walsh Decides Part 3

Hosted by
Matt Walsh
Mentioned
Venmo Jokul Dottur Lady
Matt Walsh Reviews Polyamorous Couples Of TikTok Matt Walsh Reviews Male Feminist TikTok's Part Two

Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

209.83

Word count

2,491

Sentence count

220

Harmful content

Misogyny

3

sentences flagged

Toxicity

54

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

A 19-year-old woman tells the story of a guy who crapped in her car on a date, and how she handled it. Also, a woman tells how she dealt with it, and what she did next.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 So we return now to offer some light and hope and guidance to the poor souls on Reddit over at the Am I the A**hole forum.
00:00:07.460 These are people who suspect, you know, that they might be a**holes.
00:00:12.380 But the world needs a**holes. 1.00
00:00:14.160 They're curious if they're a**holes, but they're not sure. 0.99
00:00:17.280 So they go to Reddit and they ask these questions.
00:00:19.180 They pose these quandaries and I will read some of them and we'll try to lend a little bit of clarity.
00:00:23.360 So we'll start here.
00:00:23.940 Am I the a**hole for Venmo requesting money from a Tinder date after he crapped in my car? 0.95
00:00:30.000 All right. 0.94
00:00:30.900 Now we're getting into the nitty gritty here.
00:00:32.700 A couple of weeks ago, I, 19 year old female, went on a Tinder date with a guy who I knew from high school.
00:00:38.360 We were mutual acquaintances before this.
00:00:40.380 And when we matched on Tinder, we agreed to meet up.
00:00:42.980 Picked him up at seven and we went and got some food.
00:00:45.700 After that, we drove to some secluded place so we could talk with extra privacy.
00:00:50.220 Leave it up to the imagination.
00:00:51.640 Anyway, around 1030, he starts to complain about his stomach hurting.
00:00:55.120 I asked him if he wants to leave and he says no and kind of blows it off for a little bit.
00:00:58.880 At around 11, he says he really needs to use the bathroom.
00:01:01.240 I wasn't sure what to do because we were in a very secluded area and I wasn't familiar with.
00:01:05.400 He tells me that there's a gas station about 15 minutes away from us and asks me to step on it.
00:01:10.060 I leave and drive as fast as I can, but it's very dark.
00:01:13.200 I don't know my way around it.
00:01:14.220 He's becoming more frantic, visibly sweating, breathing heavy.
00:01:17.420 At one point, I ask if I should pull over because going in the woods is better than nothing, but he swears he could make it.
00:01:23.220 Unfortunately, he misses telling me to take a turn somewhere and we get lost.
00:01:27.560 I have to turn around and it's probably like 10 more minutes, according to him.
00:01:31.260 Then he gets very pale and yells at me to pull over and I stop as fast as I can.
00:01:34.940 But when I do, he doesn't get out of the car.
00:01:36.860 He just sits very resigned.
00:01:39.960 At that point, I understood it was too late.
00:01:42.500 I came to understand it was too late.
00:01:44.040 I wonder how you understood that.
00:01:44.960 We both sat there in silence for a little bit.
00:01:47.220 I really wasn't sure what to say to make him feel better.
00:01:50.340 Oh man, this is a nightmare.
00:01:51.980 And I was also feeling a little sick from the whole thing.
00:01:54.660 Parentheses, the smell.
00:01:56.220 Thank you for clarifying that because I wouldn't have known.
00:01:58.400 Eventually, I just offered to take him home and tried to act nonchalant. 0.98
00:02:01.840 Try to act nonchalant while this guy is sitting in his own shit, you know? 0.99
00:02:05.300 Just be cool about it. 0.99
00:02:07.180 He agreed, so I drove us home.
00:02:08.480 He also tells me that he will reimburse me for getting my car cleaned.
00:02:11.480 I felt bad because, of course, it wasn't his fault.
00:02:13.300 Well, accidents happen, so I offered to split the cost 50-50, and we never talk about it again.
00:02:18.880 I also told him if he wants, I'd like to try a second date.
00:02:23.780 Wow.
00:02:25.340 You are either very forgiving or have very low standards or both.
00:02:30.020 Since this one turned out not so well, he thanked me and we parted ways.
00:02:33.680 I got my car detailed and sent him a text letting him know everything went well, but I didn't get a response.
00:02:39.120 I waited for another week and tried texting him again, like, hey, did you see my text?
00:02:42.920 And again, he didn't respond.
00:02:44.200 I went on Tinder to try and message him there, but I saw he had unmatched me.
00:02:47.620 It was pretty clear that he had ghosted me.
00:02:49.520 I was pretty pissed, not going to lie, because I thought I was chill about the whole situation.
00:02:53.600 It's cool if he didn't want to see me again, but he could have still kept up his end of the deal.
00:02:57.740 I went looking for his Instagram to try and message him there, and when I find I see he had his Venmo in his bio, I decided to Venmo request.
00:03:05.440 In the description, I put the poop emoji, the pointed finger, and my car.
00:03:10.240 Communicating now in hieroglyphics, you know, because regular communication hasn't worked.
00:03:14.500 Surprisingly, I get a quick response.
00:03:15.920 He sends the money, but he also texts me pissed because he said his friends would be able to see what I put and would probably put two and two together.
00:03:23.780 I told him I wouldn't have done that if he hadn't ghosted me. 0.96
00:03:25.840 Am I the a**hole? 0.98
00:03:26.520 Okay, well. 0.96
00:03:27.740 That was a story.
00:03:30.920 You know, first of all, this is what you get for having the girl drive. 1.00
00:03:37.420 Thanks, a**hole! 0.97
00:03:38.760 It's one of the many reasons why you as the man should be taking control of the situation. 0.95
00:03:42.820 If you are the one who's driving, then you would have more control of the situation.
00:03:46.980 This probably wouldn't have happened.
00:03:48.740 But beyond that, I'm not really sure.
00:03:50.980 I'm kind of torn on this.
00:03:52.900 Who's the a**hole in the story?
00:03:53.880 I mean, there's definitely one a**hole in the story. 0.80
00:03:56.240 A very active one. 1.00
00:03:57.480 You're a sick a**hole. 1.00
00:03:58.640 But beyond that particular a**hole, I mean, I can't blame you for not wanting to have to foot the bill to clean the s**t stains in your car. 1.00
00:04:07.740 But at the same time, I can't really blame the other guy for hiding away in shame. 0.93
00:04:11.880 It's hard for me to blame him for that part of it.
00:04:16.540 What else are you going to do?
00:04:18.660 I mean, you texted him and said everything.
00:04:20.340 You texted him and said, after you got the car cleaned, you texted him and said, everything went well. 0.51
00:04:25.560 Went well with cleaning his s**t from your upholstery.
00:04:28.960 How do you even respond to that as the guy? 1.00
00:04:31.600 You insensitive a**hole! 1.00
00:04:33.180 What's he supposed to say? 1.00
00:04:35.160 Thumbs up emoji, smiley face.
00:04:37.200 Cool. 0.94
00:04:38.340 Congrats on cleaning up my s**t. 0.92
00:04:41.360 So there's no good answer here. 0.96
00:04:42.900 But this is also, here's another thing.
00:04:45.320 This is why, you know, I'm so glad that I'm married.
00:04:48.780 So that I can s**t in my car without judgment.
00:04:54.000 Also, because if you're married and you're in that situation, and we've all been in situations like that.
00:04:59.040 When you're in the car, there's a little bit of a bathroom emergency.
00:05:01.600 But if you're married, now you can have an honest conversation in a situation like that.
00:05:06.600 You could just say, when you're dating, right, and you just met this person or you're going to your first date,
00:05:10.960 you don't want to be honest about it.
00:05:12.300 And so that's when the crisis starts. 0.94
00:05:13.880 But when you're married, you'll just say, listen, I'm going to s**t in my pants if you don't find me a bathroom within five minutes. 0.94
00:05:20.760 All right. 0.99
00:05:21.640 So who's the a**hole? 0.99
00:05:22.700 You know, I guess it's got to be him. 0.99
00:05:25.140 He is the guy who's s**t in your car after all.
00:05:26.840 If you feel like you are getting the respect you deserve in life, well, I've got a solution for you.
00:05:31.700 Established titles is your opportunity to earn the title of Lord or Lady and gain the respect you deserve.
00:05:36.720 All you need is a one square foot plot of land in Scotland.
00:05:39.120 In your title pack, you'll receive at least one square foot of dedicated land on a private estate and an official certificate with a crest.
00:05:45.180 Your certificate will include a unique plot number with which you can see the exact location of your land.
00:05:49.900 These title packs are a fantastic gift and the best way to surprise your loved ones from girlfriends, boyfriends, or even family.
00:05:55.380 You could even get a couple pack for you and your partner where you can get adjoining plots of land.
00:06:00.040 Well, with this certificate, you could officially change your name to Lord or Lady and get it on your credit card, your plane ticket, etc.
00:06:05.640 Established titles is having a great extended New Year's sale.
00:06:09.420 So go to establishedtitles.com slash Matt Walsh to save 10% off today.
00:06:13.000 And remember to use the discount code Matt Walsh or just click the link below.
00:06:16.420 That's establishedtitles.com slash Matt Walsh or just click the link below.
00:06:20.000 All right, finally, well, two more here, I think.
00:06:22.860 Let's see.
00:06:23.360 My daughter came out as transgender a few years ago.
00:06:26.080 And for her birthday this year, we legally changed her first name to a feminine name of her choosing.
00:06:30.420 My wife and I have always supported her and her transition, but my daughter seemed disappointed that her surname wasn't also changed.
00:06:38.360 I am Icelandic American.
00:06:40.460 If you don't know, surnames are quite different than in other countries.
00:06:43.720 One's surname is their father's first name and a suffix related to their gender.
00:06:48.700 The son of Jokul would be Jokulsun and the daughter of Jokul would be Jokul Dottur.
00:06:54.980 When my American wife and I married, she took my last name per American custom and gave that same masculine surname to our daughter when she was born.
00:07:03.380 All of us have the same masculine last name.
00:07:05.520 My daughter wishes to change her surname to Jokul Dottur in order to align with her gender expression as well as Icelandic naming customs.
00:07:13.200 I hadn't considered this for her as we live in the United States and use the local customs.
00:07:16.380 My wife and I are on the fence about changing her legal name again as processes like this are very expensive and time consuming.
00:07:22.080 I told her that her mother and I would be more than happy to help with the paperwork if she paid for the processing.
00:07:26.880 Our daughter doesn't accept our reasoning and claims that we're only contributing to her existing dysphoria by not going through the process again.
00:07:34.180 So am I the a**hole for making my transgender daughter pay for her own surname change?
00:07:39.060 But no, absolutely not. 0.99
00:07:40.540 You are not the a**hole for that. 0.95
00:07:42.440 You are the a**hole for everything else in this story. 1.00
00:07:45.120 What an a**hole! 1.00
00:07:47.100 Starting with the fact that you were supportive of your son pretending to be a girl. 0.99
00:07:52.960 So your son, and did you say how old your son is?
00:07:55.580 Oh, 17.
00:07:56.140 Okay.
00:07:57.800 Your son has two problems here.
00:08:00.300 And this is your son we're dealing with. 0.97
00:08:02.560 Your son is a self-entitled narcissist. 0.98
00:08:07.420 Demanding. 0.98
00:08:08.160 You have to pay for everything or my dysphoria is going to be worse.
00:08:11.600 This is emotional blackmail.
00:08:13.060 And this is, in gender ideology, it's very common.
00:08:17.160 This is one of, you know, the propagandists that foist this stuff on kids.
00:08:21.800 They encourage this kind of emotional blackmail.
00:08:24.280 Oh, to get everything you want, just tell your loved ones that, you know, you're going to have dysphoria and you'll be in emotional pain if they don't do literally everything you want. 0.61
00:08:34.420 So this is self-entitled narcissism.
00:08:36.120 And it's also, you know, a certain element of, you know, just sincere confusion as well.
00:08:41.740 And you as the parent, as the adult, you're supposed to be a voice of reason.
00:08:46.140 You're supposed to be a clarifying presence.
00:08:47.880 And by supporting your son in his delusions, his narcissism, his confusion, you are dooming him to a life of despair. 1.00
00:08:57.560 And that's what makes you an a**hole. 0.99
00:08:58.860 All right, finally, am I the a**hole for calling the police on my fiancé? 0.99
00:09:02.680 My fiancé, 28 male, and I, 30 female, have been together for three years. 0.57
00:09:07.320 I used to live close to work and use public transportation.
00:09:09.420 But after I moved in to his house, which is hours away from work, I bought myself a car since I'm a nurse.
00:09:14.240 And also since there isn't any hospitals close to where we live that I could transfer to.
00:09:17.880 You know, one thing about these things is that all of these people are a**holes for giving way too much information. 0.87
00:09:24.620 We don't need any of this background. 0.97
00:09:26.120 Still going, this a**hole. 0.75
00:09:27.800 Let's just get to the story, please. 0.87
00:09:30.100 My fiancé's car hasn't been able to work for close to two months now.
00:09:33.160 It requires so much money to get it fixed, and he refused my financial help when I offered it.
00:09:37.960 Instead, he would ask to use my car every now and then.
00:09:40.360 And I agreed as long as it's when I'm not working.
00:09:42.760 And also since he only uses it for trips to the supermarket, etc.
00:09:45.440 On New Year's Eve, he told me he wanted to use my car to go hang out with his friends and celebrate.
00:09:50.700 But I declined because I had to cover a night shift and needed my car to travel to work.
00:09:54.500 He insisted and even suggested that I take the night off or swap shifts with another nurse.
00:09:58.960 But I couldn't do that at the last minute.
00:10:00.640 Oh my gosh.
00:10:01.180 Okay, blah, blah, blah.
00:10:02.580 Fast forwarding.
00:10:04.000 She doesn't want to give the car up.
00:10:05.420 And he decides to take it anyway without asking her.
00:10:07.700 And he drives off to go to his New Year's party.
00:10:10.740 She tries to call him and can't get a hold of him.
00:10:14.300 And then finally does talk to him 30 minutes later.
00:10:16.380 And she's pissed, so she calls the cops to report him from stealing the car.
00:10:19.360 Okay, and now he's mad. 0.99
00:10:21.620 Are you the a**hole for that? 0.98
00:10:23.560 And he also says that he can take the car and she shouldn't have called the police because they're engaged. 0.97
00:10:30.400 And so he says, what's yours is mine.
00:10:33.480 What's mine is yours. 0.97
00:10:35.540 Who's the a**hole? 0.99
00:10:36.320 Well, he's obviously the a**hole. 0.99
00:10:37.620 You a**hole. 0.99
00:10:39.180 He did steal the car. 1.00
00:10:40.320 You told him not to.
00:10:41.220 You asked him to bring it back.
00:10:42.180 He didn't bring it back.
00:10:42.940 You called the police.
00:10:44.580 That's probably farther than I would have taken it.
00:10:46.640 But I think it's justified.
00:10:48.020 But here's the main point.
00:10:50.380 No, it's not true that as an engaged couple, what's yours is mine.
00:10:55.560 What's mine is yours.
00:10:56.160 That's not true.
00:10:57.300 That's marriage. 0.92
00:10:58.160 So you don't get to take advantage of that before the marriage even happens.
00:11:03.320 There isn't like this grace period ahead of time.
00:11:06.640 That's in marriage.
00:11:08.200 That's, again, the point of marriage.
00:11:10.460 Now you share everything.
00:11:13.600 And then if you take, now it's the family car.
00:11:16.960 And if your spouse calls the police on you for taking the family car, even if they don't agree with what you're doing with it, then that's a different story.
00:11:24.360 So get married is the moral of the story.
00:11:29.020 And then you can steal your spouse's car all you want. 1.00
00:11:32.540 And even shit in it if you want. 0.99
00:11:34.480 So you're right. 1.00
00:11:35.080 And then you can hit and try again.
00:11:39.020 Bye-bye.
00:11:42.180 Bye-bye.
00:11:48.460 Bye-bye.
00:11:51.640 Bye-bye.