The Matt Walsh Show - August 27, 2022


Am I The A＊＊hole？ Matt Walsh Decides Part 7


Episode Stats

Misogynist Sentences

13

Hate Speech Sentences

5


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.320 All right, now we have part two of our Am I the a***** segment, where we go to Reddit
00:00:06.880 and we read their moral quandaries to discover who is the a-hole.
00:00:11.660 We'll start with this.
00:00:12.740 So my boyfriend and I both work the day shift, so we're both home after 6 p.m.
00:00:17.520 We have our days off set up.
00:00:19.620 Okay, first of all, she started a sentence with the word so, so she's already an a-hole.
00:00:23.960 It's another thing I hate.
00:00:25.760 I'm in a really bad mood right now, I've realized.
00:00:27.700 So I'm just, everyone's an a-hole this time.
00:00:31.980 We have our days off set up that he is off Saturdays and Sundays, and I'm off Sundays and Mondays.
00:00:37.340 We each get one day off to ourselves to just be alone and do our thing,
00:00:41.060 and then one day off together to do whatever we want as well.
00:00:44.660 My boyfriend and I have fairly different hobbies.
00:00:46.940 He's really into fitness and working out and always being active.
00:00:49.480 I'm a pretty strong gamer, and I don't care about any of this.
00:00:52.140 Who cares?
00:00:52.940 What is your complaint, lady?
00:00:54.280 So he stayed up stupid late last night and called into work this morning.
00:00:58.240 Nine times out of ten, I wouldn't care, but it's Monday.
00:01:00.780 It's my only day to myself, and he's constantly bugging me to go to work out with him or go on a hike
00:01:05.480 or generally to just be active because he's bored.
00:01:07.840 Oh, God forbid he's trying to help you be a fit and healthy person.
00:01:11.260 He doesn't want you to die of heart disease.
00:01:13.280 God forbid.
00:01:13.980 My boyfriend is so annoying.
00:01:15.200 He wants me to do things like stand up.
00:01:17.080 My boyfriend wants me to walk outside, encounter the sun every once in a while.
00:01:22.100 Again, nine times out of ten wouldn't matter, and I'd spend a few days doing whatever he wanted.
00:01:26.220 I need this day to just be quiet and dark and me time.
00:01:29.280 I'm 100% on the opposite end of a social person.
00:01:31.360 I just want my one day to be alone, to recuperate for the week.
00:01:34.580 I look forward to this one day the entire week.
00:01:36.620 I'm definitely annoyed and definitely showing it, even though I'm trying not to.
00:01:39.840 I've tried explaining this.
00:01:40.940 I've tried being nice and just telling him that I need some me time, and he's just not listening.
00:01:44.560 I pretty much snapped and told him to just leave me the F alone for a bit,
00:01:48.400 and now he's sulking in the living room.
00:01:49.820 Am I the a-hole?
00:01:51.740 Okay, then there's even more information that we don't need.
00:01:53.880 So you got into a fight with your boyfriend, and he sulked off,
00:01:56.920 and you immediately went on your phone to Reddit.
00:01:59.340 Now, Reddit says that this woman is not the a-hole,
00:02:01.480 and Reddit is wrong this time, and not for the first time.
00:02:03.820 But you're definitely the a-hole for a few reasons.
00:02:05.660 First of all, why are you playing house?
00:02:07.980 Why are you playing marriage, you know, by living together,
00:02:10.720 if you don't even want to be around each other?
00:02:12.620 So you can't stand to be around the guy for more than one day of the week,
00:02:16.340 but you're living with him?
00:02:17.400 This is not working out, okay?
00:02:18.740 You guys need to break up.
00:02:19.920 Just break up.
00:02:21.240 Take my voice.
00:02:22.140 Go live on your own.
00:02:23.160 Or you don't want to live on your own because you don't want to pay for it, right?
00:02:25.240 That's probably it.
00:02:26.540 So you want the boyfriend there to help you pay for the rent,
00:02:29.100 or maybe pay all the rent, I don't know,
00:02:30.860 but you don't want to actually be around him.
00:02:32.460 What you're looking for is welfare, okay?
00:02:33.960 Go live on your own and get on welfare.
00:02:35.540 Don't give me this,
00:02:36.640 oh, I need space, I need me time,
00:02:38.800 I need to relax, I need time.
00:02:40.660 You're just dating someone.
00:02:42.460 You have no kids.
00:02:44.620 You know, you work a nine-to-five job,
00:02:46.520 you have off on the weekends,
00:02:47.680 and you're complaining about how you need space and time,
00:02:51.020 and I really need my break.
00:02:52.820 For what?
00:02:54.320 Like you live some kind of stressful life.
00:02:56.100 This is the only workout that many people get,
00:02:57.500 is just complaining about how,
00:02:58.540 I'm so stressed in my life, I'm so stressed.
00:03:00.120 I cannot even conceive of having an existence as easy as you.
00:03:04.080 And you're still whining.
00:03:05.260 Is there anyone who's not an a-hole?
00:03:07.340 I think I'm just the a-hole this time.
00:03:09.220 Well, let me ask you something.
00:03:10.440 What if there was someone out there
00:03:11.820 who kept a log of every single thing you did
00:03:14.480 every minute of the day?
00:03:15.720 I think that'd be pretty creepy.
00:03:17.060 Well, what if I told you
00:03:18.040 that's exactly what happens every time you go online?
00:03:20.380 Your internet provider, like AT&T or Comcast,
00:03:22.840 is allowed to store logs of every website you've ever visited,
00:03:25.560 and they can legally sell this data to anyone they want.
00:03:28.960 That's why I always use ExpressVPN.
00:03:31.280 ExpressVPN reroutes your internet connection
00:03:33.200 through their secure server,
00:03:34.340 so your internet provider can't see or log
00:03:36.520 what you're doing online.
00:03:37.960 Now, many of you, if you're more perceptive,
00:03:39.640 you might be wondering,
00:03:40.280 well, if I'm routing all my data through a VPN,
00:03:42.340 then doesn't the VPN get to log and see all my data?
00:03:45.500 And you're right to think that way.
00:03:46.660 Many VPNs claim to have a no-logs policy,
00:03:49.180 but have been caught logging customer activity anyway.
00:03:52.420 ExpressVPN is the only VPN I trust
00:03:54.520 because they use trusted server technology.
00:03:57.180 Stop letting people keep logs of what you do online.
00:03:59.340 Visit expressvpn.com slash WalshYT right now
00:04:03.080 and find out how you can get three months free.
00:04:05.640 Let's see.
00:04:06.320 My mom has a huge pot-bellied pig as a pet.
00:04:09.020 Okay, now here's a story I want to read.
00:04:11.020 This is an actual important story.
00:04:12.480 She rescued him from a farm.
00:04:13.780 He's seven years old, I believe.
00:04:15.760 Back when I was planning my wedding,
00:04:17.620 my mom kept on trying to add things to my wedding
00:04:20.300 specifically for the pig.
00:04:22.520 For example, she wanted him to have his own buffet.
00:04:26.640 I turned all her ideas down
00:04:28.100 and told her the pig will not be attending my wedding.
00:04:30.820 This has got to be a fake story, but I like it anyway.
00:04:32.960 Even after I told her I didn't want him at my wedding,
00:04:34.920 she continued to try to get me to plan my wedding around him.
00:04:37.940 She told me that she needs him to be there
00:04:39.820 because it's her support animal.
00:04:41.460 He isn't a registered support animal,
00:04:42.880 even though he does bring her a big deal of comfort.
00:04:45.520 In my husband's culture, pigs are seen as dirty animals
00:04:47.960 and it would absolutely be unfitting
00:04:49.500 for me to have a pig at our wedding,
00:04:51.260 especially because it would be disrespectful to his family,
00:04:53.920 as opposed to all the other cultures
00:04:55.100 where that would be totally normal, right?
00:04:56.900 Well, my mom decides to bring her pet pig to my wedding anyway,
00:05:00.120 even after I told her not to, and she showed up late.
00:05:02.700 I could tell my husband was highly upset with it,
00:05:04.440 but it stopped me when I went to confront her
00:05:05.940 because he didn't want his new mother-in-law to hate him.
00:05:08.760 Was this thing written by a pig?
00:05:10.740 Because I can't even hardly read it.
00:05:12.480 My sister-in-law ended up getting scared
00:05:14.060 because the pig rubbed up against her,
00:05:15.900 which caused the pig to get scared and run off
00:05:18.480 and bump into some expensive glass decorations
00:05:20.400 which ended up falling and breaking the pieces.
00:05:21.800 This is not real.
00:05:22.520 This didn't happen.
00:05:23.460 Come on.
00:05:23.740 I think I saw this episode of King of Queens.
00:05:25.480 I was beyond angry at my mom.
00:05:27.020 This would have never happened
00:05:27.880 if she didn't bring her pig to my wedding,
00:05:29.540 so I yelled at her to leave.
00:05:31.880 This didn't happen at all, but I hope it did
00:05:34.000 because you know what?
00:05:34.960 If it did happen, then you are the a-hole, not your mom.
00:05:37.980 This would be amazing.
00:05:39.880 Weddings are so boring,
00:05:41.100 and I understand this is a contradiction for me.
00:05:43.420 I'm a big proponent of the Holy Sacrament of Matrimony.
00:05:45.820 I think people should get married.
00:05:46.680 I think it's wonderful,
00:05:47.360 but it's really boring too,
00:05:49.200 and it is just excruciatingly boring.
00:05:51.700 Weddings are.
00:05:52.120 By trying to keep the pig out,
00:05:53.820 this is like a source of entertainment,
00:05:55.600 and this is a wedding that people will remember.
00:05:57.160 That's the other thing.
00:05:58.060 You want your wedding to be memorable, don't you?
00:05:59.620 And most weddings are not memorable.
00:06:00.960 They're forgotten for you.
00:06:02.960 You might talk about them later.
00:06:04.160 Oh, our wedding was a magical day.
00:06:05.580 No one else thought it was magical.
00:06:06.960 Everyone else was bored out of their minds for most of it.
00:06:09.680 This is memorable.
00:06:10.680 This is incredible.
00:06:11.980 I am fully on board with barn animals
00:06:14.500 being included in wedding parties
00:06:15.940 just for the entertainment factor.
00:06:17.040 Okay, we'll read one more.
00:06:17.700 I have a 13-month-old son who has my last name
00:06:20.300 because his dad wasn't interested in fatherhood originally.
00:06:22.880 He had a change of heart and tracked us down two months ago.
00:06:25.840 To be frank, I'm still angry.
00:06:27.180 He tried to make me abort our son
00:06:28.600 and then washed his hands of me when I wouldn't obey him.
00:06:31.440 So besides the financial help,
00:06:32.740 I'm not grateful or happy about a change of heart.
00:06:34.620 He asked me if I would change our son's last name to his.
00:06:37.800 It made me angry because I'm the one who wanted him.
00:06:39.960 I carried him and raised him alone until two months ago.
00:06:42.520 So I don't think he deserves for our son to have his last name.
00:06:44.420 However, I know it would benefit our son
00:06:45.940 to have a bigger connection to his father's family
00:06:47.740 in the long run.
00:06:48.460 So I told him I would change his last name to his
00:06:51.220 for X amount of money.
00:06:52.820 He was visibly angry and made a comment
00:06:54.760 about how I wasn't as innocent as he thought.
00:06:56.920 And he told me I was very good at hiding my true colors.
00:06:59.260 While he did agree to give me the money,
00:07:00.940 he's being cold towards me now.
00:07:02.620 And I keep thinking about what he said,
00:07:04.240 which is making me feel like a real a-hole.
00:07:06.240 Now, somehow again, Reddit has said
00:07:07.700 that this woman is not the a-hole when she clearly is.
00:07:10.340 Now, she might not be the a-hole
00:07:11.640 because there are two a-holes.
00:07:12.580 The father's an a-hole,
00:07:13.280 like showing back up,
00:07:14.340 didn't want any,
00:07:14.960 wanted the child aborted,
00:07:16.360 didn't want to be part of the child's life.
00:07:17.640 And then you show up.
00:07:18.460 Now you want to be a part of the child's life.
00:07:19.740 And that's good.
00:07:20.200 That's a good part.
00:07:20.780 You had a change of heart.
00:07:21.460 But then like two months later,
00:07:22.540 you're saying, give the child my name.
00:07:24.520 You have to earn that by being present in the family.
00:07:26.940 Now, if this was a normal situation,
00:07:28.340 healthy situation,
00:07:28.980 where you're the father
00:07:30.340 and you're there from the get-go,
00:07:31.940 then yes,
00:07:33.260 if the child should have your last name to begin with,
00:07:35.620 but not in this case.
00:07:37.060 However,
00:07:37.380 this woman,
00:07:38.460 you are still 100,000% the a-hole
00:07:41.540 because you tried to sell your son's naming rights.
00:07:45.680 What is he, a stadium?
00:07:47.020 Why not go auction him off to a bank?
00:07:48.940 Let's call him a PNC or Wells Fargo.
00:07:51.540 Sell his forehead to Best Buy.
00:07:53.940 They could slap a logo on it.
00:07:55.220 And you think you're the good guy?
00:07:56.580 Oh, I know it'd be really important
00:07:57.740 for my son to be connected to his father's family.
00:08:00.080 So,
00:08:00.320 you're the a-hole.
00:08:02.540 He's the a-hole.
00:08:03.820 I'm the a-hole.
00:08:04.600 We're all the a-holes
00:08:05.220 on this episode of
00:08:07.200 Am I the A-hole?
00:08:08.900 I'm a d***.
00:08:10.320 He's a d***.
00:08:11.800 She's a d***.
00:08:12.720 Because we're all d***.