The Matt Walsh Show - November 25, 2021


Am I The Thanksgiving A＊＊Hole？ ｜ Matt Walsh Decides Who's To Blame


Episode Stats

Misogynist Sentences

16

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 So today, we're going to go back to Am I the A**hole, the forums on Reddit, to read about some of those cases that have to do with Thanksgiving.
00:00:07.980 We have a number of Am I the A**hole Thanksgiving-related dilemmas.
00:00:12.420 Thanksgiving is a time where lots of people act like a**holes, unfortunately.
00:00:16.780 Here are a few of those cases. These are some good dilemmas, I think. A lot to talk about. So, we'll read through some of these.
00:00:22.720 First, me and my wife had a baby seven months ago. My parents came to us for Thanksgiving dinner this year.
00:00:27.600 My wife made a great spread. As we were about to eat, the baby started fussing. He has been teething.
00:00:33.840 I told my wife she should go attend to him, but she asked if I could, because she hadn't eaten all day,
00:00:39.500 because she was trying to care for the baby, cook everything, and try to visit with my parents,
00:00:43.180 and she would really like a warm meal instead, and it had been a while since she'd had one.
00:00:48.100 I said it would be really rude to my parents to sit down without me, since in my family,
00:00:52.300 the hosting family member was always at the table with the guests.
00:00:54.760 My wife asked me again to please go, but I was annoyed and said no.
00:00:58.320 I could tell my wife was irritated, but she went to our baby.
00:01:01.220 I was thinking we'd wait for her to return, but my dad said he was starving, and everything looked fantastic.
00:01:05.940 So, I told them to dig in. My wife seemed to be having a hard time getting our son to settle down,
00:01:10.600 but she's always had the magic touch when it comes to him, so I left her to it.
00:01:15.220 That was very nice of you.
00:01:16.800 By the time he was content and quiet again, we'd finished, and we had moved into the other room.
00:01:20.900 I had left everything on the table, and when I went back around, she was feeding the baby.
00:01:25.960 I said she should probably clean up once she was done, and she really coldly asked when exactly she was supposed to eat.
00:01:33.100 I was taken by surprise and asked what she was on about, and she told me that she hadn't eaten anything,
00:01:38.220 and I had left a mess instead of at least taking the used dishes to the sink,
00:01:41.700 and she knew it was too much to think I'd actually be bothered to make her a plate, too.
00:01:47.640 I got irritated and told her that she was being dramatic that we were hosting,
00:01:52.440 and I thought it was more important to spend time with my parents.
00:01:55.060 She said that I was the one who invited my parents over, but I left her to do everything.
00:01:58.840 I said that wasn't true, but she asked me to name just one thing I'd done to help her.
00:02:02.600 I was put on the spot, and I couldn't think of something, so she said exactly.
00:02:05.600 I got pretty angry, but my mom came in then and asked if she could feed the baby.
00:02:09.620 My God, are you still talking?
00:02:12.020 My wife said yes, then started making herself a plate so she could eat.
00:02:15.840 My mom was upset with me when she realized that my wife still hadn't eaten.
00:02:19.240 Okay, first of all, before your wife ate, did you make sure that she had cleaned the bathroom?
00:02:25.240 Because it's not fair to leave a messy bathroom when there are guests over.
00:02:28.780 No, I'm actually concerned that as a five-year-old, you're probably way too young to be married.
00:02:35.900 I mean, I believe in early marriage, but that's too far, I think, even for me.
00:02:39.620 I can only assume that you're five and have been married for five minutes based on your behavior as you describe it.
00:02:45.320 You know what you are, actually?
00:02:47.520 You're like Kevin James or Ray Romano from a 90s sitcom, you know?
00:02:53.000 You did literally everything wrong every step of the way.
00:02:56.100 He's an a**hole.
00:02:57.060 You're so wrong and outlandishly a**hole-ish that I'm not sure if I even believe that this is real.
00:03:02.800 But then the whole bit breaks down if it's not real, so we'll just charge ahead and pretend that it is.
00:03:06.840 Next one says,
00:03:07.740 I'll preface this by saying that my son, Tim, recently got married to his now-wife, Sarah.
00:03:13.440 We get along just fine as a family, though she tends to act passive-aggressively sometimes.
00:03:18.160 She loves food and is always open to trying my cooking.
00:03:21.300 She said my cooking was amazing, though she made a few negative comments about certain meals
00:03:25.580 and advised me to use XYZ ingredients next time.
00:03:29.100 Who are these people?
00:03:31.140 So she sat down to have your meal and said,
00:03:32.740 oh, this is great, but next time you should try that ingredient.
00:03:35.060 Who does that?
00:03:36.420 I invited them over for Thanksgiving yesterday.
00:03:38.300 The whole family was there.
00:03:39.260 The bell rang and I opened the door to see Tim and Sarah.
00:03:42.000 Sarah was carrying what seemed to be a container.
00:03:44.400 I didn't ask about it nor pay much attention to it.
00:03:46.320 Everybody sat down to eat after I set up the table and put dinner on it.
00:03:50.460 My main dish was the traditional Thanksgiving dish every family in our community knows.
00:03:54.380 I had appetizers and side dishes and, of course, salad and dessert.
00:03:57.420 Sarah then put the container on the table and started unloading food onto her empty plate.
00:04:02.700 Everybody was watching as my eyes widened up.
00:04:05.580 I asked what she was doing and she said that she brought her own food to eat
00:04:08.580 since she doesn't want to eat what I cooked.
00:04:12.140 I was stunned and I politely asked if there was a reason for that and she shook her head.
00:04:17.980 I asked if she was vegan.
00:04:19.300 She said no.
00:04:20.420 I asked if she was allergic to anything at the table.
00:04:22.220 She said no.
00:04:23.180 I asked if she was having an upset stomach or anything.
00:04:25.880 She said no.
00:04:26.380 She just sat with a smug smile and which set me off.
00:04:30.820 And then anyway, OK, then it goes on and on and on.
00:04:33.280 And this ungrateful daughter-in-law eats her own meal at the table while the son just sits there.
00:04:38.860 OK.
00:04:40.020 So, yeah, Sarah is an a**hole, but I put the blame on your son, Tim, really.
00:04:44.240 I think he's the bigger a**hole here because what kind of husband allows his wife
00:04:47.780 to bring a Tupperware container with her own meal to his parents' Thanksgiving dinner?
00:04:52.720 What a little a**hole.
00:04:53.740 I mean, there are times when you put your foot down as a man, and this is definitely
00:04:58.400 one of them.
00:04:59.160 Although, if you got to this point, it probably means that you've never put your foot down
00:05:02.780 one time, and that's very obvious from this.
00:05:04.600 You're leaving for Thanksgiving dinner, and you see your wife holding a container of food.
00:05:09.900 And I could see asking, like, oh, is that your contribution to the meal?
00:05:13.060 Are you bringing—no, that's just for me.
00:05:15.600 Oh, you're joking, right?
00:05:16.740 This is one of your crazy practical jokes, right?
00:05:19.460 That's very funny.
00:05:20.280 No, no, no, I'm serious.
00:05:21.900 Okay, well, then you're a lunatic, and I'm calling an insane asylum.
00:05:25.300 Here's what we're going to do.
00:05:26.340 You put that damn container down, or I swear to God, I will have you admitted to an asylum.
00:05:30.700 Put that coffee down.
00:05:32.960 That's conflict resolution in a marriage, okay?
00:05:35.080 That's what you do.
00:05:36.960 You a**hole.
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00:07:06.160 Next, my family gets together once a year on Thanksgiving.
00:07:09.640 I'm recently remarried and my wife hasn't had much of a chance to bond with my family due to COVID
00:07:13.820 and we are all looking forward to getting everyone together.
00:07:16.320 Unfortunately, my elderly parents just told me that they've also invited my ex-wife to dinner,
00:07:19.980 which I'm adamantly against.
00:07:21.480 My ex has known these people for 20 years
00:07:23.580 and that familiarity and level of comfort will make it hard, in my opinion, for my new wife to fit in.
00:07:27.820 She insists that I could go without her, but if she won't go,
00:07:31.660 then I'm not going to go as my place is by her side.
00:07:34.460 My family says that my wife...
00:07:35.900 Isn't that very nice?
00:07:37.000 You're remaining steadfastly loyal to your second wife.
00:07:40.460 Good.
00:07:41.120 That's a man of principle.
00:07:43.180 My family says that my wife should just suck it up and deal
00:07:46.000 and that if we're not there, we'll ruin Thanksgiving for everybody.
00:07:49.600 So am I the a**hole for thinking my ex should make other plans and not attend my family's dinner?
00:07:54.800 Yeah, you're the a**hole.
00:07:55.700 I think for a number of reasons.
00:07:58.400 We're such an a**hole.
00:08:00.280 First is getting divorced in the first place.
00:08:02.040 And this is why you don't get divorced.
00:08:03.580 Divorce.
00:08:04.560 You just make everything complicated for everybody.
00:08:07.260 You make everything worse and everything complicated for everybody for the rest of your life,
00:08:11.080 including yourself.
00:08:12.060 That's what happens when you get divorced.
00:08:13.440 And your family...
00:08:14.540 Keep in mind, when you get married, it's not just you.
00:08:18.980 It's just the two of you are not the only ones affected.
00:08:21.060 But you have families and your families are now bonded as well through this bond of marriage.
00:08:26.860 Your parents, it sounds like, have accepted your first wife as their daughter, as a member
00:08:31.840 of the family.
00:08:32.640 And now they're supposed to renege on that?
00:08:34.560 They're supposed to reverse course just because you have?
00:08:37.560 Their bond doesn't mean anything anymore just because you've decided to sever it?
00:08:40.860 Doesn't work that way.
00:08:42.360 It's like when parents get remarried and then demand that their kids accept the new person
00:08:48.520 as their mom or dad.
00:08:50.500 You're not my dad!
00:08:51.880 Maybe they will, but that's not their responsibility.
00:08:54.220 That's not their obligation.
00:08:56.100 They have a mom and dad.
00:08:58.080 They only need one of each as far as they're concerned.
00:09:01.100 The fact that you couldn't work out your marriage and you decided to break your wedding vows,
00:09:04.920 that's not anybody else's problem.
00:09:06.740 That's your problem.
00:09:08.160 You figure that out.
00:09:09.280 All right, what else we got?
00:09:12.260 A couple more here.
00:09:13.140 Here in Canada, it's Thanksgiving weekend and my family is having our dinner tomorrow.
00:09:16.960 My aunt, who has a toddler and is in the middle of moving, insisted on hosting dinner this
00:09:21.020 year despite all of us warning her it could be a lot to do, especially with her moving.
00:09:25.020 She insisted that she'd be able to handle it and the plan was to have dinner at her place.
00:09:28.720 I'm a baking and pastry art student, so I offered to make pies for dessert.
00:09:32.660 My offer was taken up when I started planning and designing the pies for my family.
00:09:35.840 This would be the first time any of them had seen or tried any of my baking since I've
00:09:40.820 become more than a home baker.
00:09:42.960 I'm classically trained in French pastries, among other things, and I graduate this winter,
00:09:46.420 so needless to say, I take great pride in what I create and consider each bake good a
00:09:49.760 piece of art and a piece of meat.
00:09:51.420 Tomorrow is the dinner and I was just informed that there would be no home-cooked meal, but
00:09:54.400 instead my aunt is going to order Thai takeout for everybody.
00:09:56.900 I got upset and said that not only will I not be making the pies, but I won't be attending
00:10:02.140 the dinner at all.
00:10:02.820 My parents are mad at me for not following through, but I feel massively disrespected and
00:10:05.900 disregarded.
00:10:07.020 Am I the a**hole?
00:10:07.800 I mean, a little bit.
00:10:08.760 Yeah, I think you are.
00:10:09.380 This is kind of a half and half a**hole deal.
00:10:11.600 So you're the a**hole for all the stuff about how your baking is your art and it's a piece
00:10:15.440 of you and trying to impress everyone with the fact that you're in college.
00:10:18.240 I went to college!
00:10:20.020 That makes you an a**hole and no one wants to be around that.
00:10:22.240 On the other hand, your aunt is ordering takeout on Thanksgiving.
00:10:26.020 That is, that's a crime.
00:10:27.820 I mean, that should actually be a crime.
00:10:29.260 This isn't hard, okay?
00:10:30.160 Thanksgiving is a time for a specific sort of meal.
00:10:33.880 You should not legally be allowed to eat anything but the traditional meal.
00:10:39.440 So we're talking turkey, stuffing, green beans, gravy, sweet potatoes, etc., right?
00:10:43.360 Like there are a few other staples.
00:10:45.040 You can add in some variation.
00:10:46.660 You can add some things in addition to the staples, your own twist on things if you want,
00:10:51.980 but the staples need to be there.
00:10:53.300 And again, if, you know, when I'm theocratic fascist dictator of the world, this will be
00:10:56.920 a matter of the law.
00:10:58.560 All restaurants that serve takeout will be forcibly closed on Thanksgiving.
00:11:04.060 Any restaurant that tries to open on Thanksgiving will be immediately shot.
00:11:07.940 That's it.
00:11:08.780 All right?
00:11:09.040 It might seem a little harsh, but you got to break some eggs to make some omelets.
00:11:14.040 Finally, I am married to my husband and we have two kids.
00:11:16.740 We are vegans.
00:11:17.560 I am for ethical reasons.
00:11:18.700 My husband is allergic to dairy and so is my three-year-old.
00:11:20.880 Okay, I'm going to cut it off right there.
00:11:21.980 You are the a**hole.
00:11:22.780 I don't even need to know the entire story.
00:11:25.100 Vegans on Thanksgiving are always the a**holes.
00:11:28.880 Same with every other time of year, in fact.
00:11:30.680 Oh, God, you're such an a**hole.
00:11:32.680 And I don't want to hear about ethical reasons.
00:11:34.680 See, you won't eat dairy because of ethics.
00:11:38.480 You don't think we should get milk from cows?
00:11:40.440 Why?
00:11:41.500 What else should we do with the cow's milk?
00:11:43.500 Oh, yes!
00:11:44.840 The cows exist.
00:11:45.900 What are we going to do with the cows, first of all?
00:11:47.440 Like, do you want us to just release them into the wild?
00:11:50.360 What?
00:11:50.800 All of these cows.
00:11:51.840 I mean, I know you could say it's unethical that we have all the dairy farms and everything.
00:11:55.160 It's so terrible that we've enslaved all these cows.
00:11:57.960 What do you want us to do with them?
00:11:59.700 Just release them into the Serengeti?
00:12:02.120 I mean, bring them down to the Amazon?
00:12:03.400 Just, like, release them into the neighborhoods?
00:12:05.820 Kill them all?
00:12:07.220 Dump them into the ocean?
00:12:08.280 Like, we have them.
00:12:09.720 They need to be milked.
00:12:11.500 And then what do you do with the milk?
00:12:12.880 You might as well drink it.
00:12:13.940 Why not drink it?
00:12:14.480 Why not make cheese out of it?
00:12:15.400 And also, what about the lives of the plants that you're eating?
00:12:19.560 The lettuce that you're eating is a living thing, vegans.
00:12:22.640 It has hopes and dreams and ambitions and feelings.
00:12:27.260 And you ruthlessly chop it up and stick a fork in it and chomp on it while it screams silently
00:12:32.600 in pain, which you ignore those screams.
00:12:35.140 Take a head of iceberg lettuce.
00:12:36.440 Make sure the core is pointing down.
00:12:38.340 And slam it.
00:12:38.800 So don't come to me talking about ethical concerns.
00:12:43.100 Especially on Thanksgiving.
00:12:45.480 You should all be in prison as well.
00:12:47.460 Anyway, so, yeah, that's it.
00:12:50.180 Happy Thanksgiving.
00:12:51.180 Happy Thanksgiving, pilgrims.