The Matt Walsh Show - February 07, 2026


Can Men And Women REALLY Be Friends？


Episode Stats

Length

19 minutes

Words per Minute

165.5779

Word Count

3,295

Sentence Count

283

Misogynist Sentences

12

Hate Speech Sentences

17


Summary

Marriage, children, and relationships are a special focus of the show this year, and we're going to spend a lot of time on the show talking about the things that matter in life, as we so often do. This week, we're talking about why you should not have opposite sex friends if you are married.


Transcript

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00:00:30.000 So, we're going to spend time on the show talking about, you know,
00:00:35.000 the things that matter in life, as we so often do.
00:00:38.000 Marriage, children, relationships.
00:00:40.000 And that's going to be a special focus of the show this year.
00:00:45.000 Earlier this week on X, we were talking about some of this,
00:00:50.000 and I made this point.
00:00:52.000 I said, a married person simply should not have an opposite-sex friend
00:00:55.000 who is not also a friend of their spouse.
00:00:57.000 And even then, there's no scenario where the spouse and the friend should be hanging out alone.
00:01:01.000 These are the most basic boundaries.
00:01:04.000 If you aren't prepared to put them in place and respect them, you shouldn't get married.
00:01:07.000 That's obviously true.
00:01:09.000 I've also said that kind of thing many times.
00:01:12.000 Plenty of people did not agree.
00:01:13.000 There are a lot of comments, a lot of people responding to it.
00:01:15.000 So, we're going to go through and read some of them now.
00:01:17.000 In fact, I'm going to read a few responses, a few comments,
00:01:20.000 and then I'll offer a general response to all of them together.
00:01:24.000 So, Real Klopek writes,
00:01:27.000 To prove Matt's point in just about every example of this,
00:01:30.000 the spouse finds this friend physically attractive, and that is not a coincidence.
00:01:34.000 Show me an example of a married guy who has a cross-eyed female friend
00:01:38.000 who weighs 300 pounds and vice versa.
00:01:43.000 Christina writes,
00:01:44.000 Matt doesn't trust himself to be alone with any of his female co-workers,
00:01:48.000 or does he not hire women?
00:01:49.000 Either way, he needs to learn to grow up and not ogle other women.
00:01:54.000 Climate Warrior 7 says,
00:01:56.000 What are you supposed to do with your opposite-sex friends when you get married?
00:01:59.000 Dump them?
00:02:01.000 Yes, that's what you're supposed to do, but we'll get back to that.
00:02:04.000 Timothy Gordon says,
00:02:05.000 This is a good post, but having female co-workers is as bad or worse than having voluntary female friends.
00:02:12.000 Both situations are terrible.
00:02:14.000 Arguably, the workplace is worse because you're a captive team member
00:02:17.000 forced by equality in the workplace to spend 40 hours weekly on a project with some broad not-your-wife.
00:02:24.000 Paul Bullard says,
00:02:25.000 The more likely someone is to cheat, the more vehemently they'll disagree with this.
00:02:29.000 There's emotional cheating too, which impacts intimacy, respect, honor, and relational experiences.
00:02:33.000 And the notorious KCK strongly disagrees with me and says,
00:02:39.000 I have female friends that I've known since long before I met my wife,
00:02:44.000 and will still have lunch with them occasionally.
00:02:46.000 My wife doesn't care because there's trust.
00:02:49.000 Same applies to her and her male friends.
00:02:51.000 Matt is clearly insecure.
00:02:53.000 And there are many more comments along those lines.
00:02:55.000 Some in agreement, some in disagreement.
00:02:59.000 And here's what I'll say to all of them.
00:03:04.000 That yes, you should not have opposite sex friends if you are married.
00:03:10.000 That should not exist.
00:03:11.000 Now, it's one thing, as I think I acknowledge, if you're friends with a couple,
00:03:17.000 if you as a couple are friends with another couple,
00:03:20.000 and so then in that sense you're friends with the opposite sex member of that couple as well,
00:03:25.000 then that's fine.
00:03:27.000 And that's what...
00:03:28.000 So when people say,
00:03:30.000 Oh, I've had these opposite sex friends since before I got married and now I'm married,
00:03:34.000 am I supposed to just dump them?
00:03:36.000 Well, yeah.
00:03:37.000 Actually, see, when you get married and you grow up, you're going to end up...
00:03:41.000 You're going to end up drifting apart from a lot of your friends.
00:03:44.000 And especially if you have any opposite sex friends.
00:03:46.000 That's the way that's going to go.
00:03:48.000 But if you want to keep being friends with them, well, now you are...
00:03:51.000 You know, you have dinner.
00:03:52.000 Like, you have another couple and you have dinner with them.
00:03:55.000 You invite them over to your house as a couple.
00:03:59.000 And you sit and you drink wine and you eat, you know, dinner.
00:04:02.000 Like, that's... Grow up, okay?
00:04:03.000 You're an adult now.
00:04:04.000 I mean, so now those relationships are supposed to mature.
00:04:07.000 And so you can be friends in that sense, but you should not be friends individually
00:04:11.000 with a member of the opposite sex.
00:04:13.000 And like this guy who says that...
00:04:19.000 Well, you know, he has friends.
00:04:21.000 He goes out on lunch dates with women.
00:04:25.000 Like, that's crazy.
00:04:27.000 That is a crazy thing to do if you're married.
00:04:30.000 And to let your wife do it.
00:04:33.000 So you're telling me...
00:04:34.000 Who is this?
00:04:35.000 The notorious KCK.
00:04:38.000 You're telling me your wife...
00:04:41.000 Sometimes goes and hangs out with her male friends without you.
00:04:45.000 You're telling me you're okay if your wife says,
00:04:48.000 Hey, I'm going to go grab lunch with, you know, Jake.
00:04:52.000 Okay, have fun.
00:04:54.000 Have fun, you two.
00:04:56.000 And you're okay.
00:04:57.000 What are you some kind of...
00:04:58.000 You're a cuckold.
00:04:59.000 That is pure cuckold behavior.
00:05:02.000 That's what that is.
00:05:03.000 And you should be embarrassed.
00:05:07.000 Okay, you should be humiliated.
00:05:09.000 And she's probably...
00:05:11.000 There's a high chance that she's cheating on you.
00:05:13.000 There's a high chance that's already happening.
00:05:16.000 So you can say all you want.
00:05:17.000 I trust you.
00:05:18.000 I...
00:05:19.000 Don't worry.
00:05:20.000 I trust you.
00:05:22.000 Here's the thing, you moron.
00:05:24.000 If your wife wants to have one-on-one time with another man in the first place.
00:05:33.000 If she wants to have that companionship with a man in the first place.
00:05:38.000 You're already screwed.
00:05:41.000 Or she is in this case.
00:05:44.000 Like that's already happening.
00:05:45.000 And as a man, why do you want...
00:05:49.000 It's the other thing.
00:05:50.000 Some of these comments from men say,
00:05:53.000 Well, I have all these female friends.
00:05:54.000 What am I supposed to do?
00:05:56.000 First of all, why do you have so many female friends as a man?
00:05:59.000 Like why do you want platonic companionship with a bunch of women?
00:06:06.000 That's either you having inappropriate levels of intimacy with other women or you're gay.
00:06:13.000 That's the other thing.
00:06:14.000 It could be that you're gay.
00:06:16.000 A married man who wants to hang out with a woman who's not his wife is either on his way to an affair or having an affair or is gay.
00:06:25.000 Like those are your options.
00:06:28.000 You're married.
00:06:29.000 You already have a wife.
00:06:30.000 I mean, you're around a woman all the time.
00:06:32.000 You have companionship with a female every day.
00:06:37.000 So if you want to go out and have friendships, have a fraternal bond, have like male friendships, that's very healthy.
00:06:47.000 You should have that.
00:06:48.000 But going out and seeking more female companionship as a married grown man when you already have a wife tells me you're either having an affair or you're going to have one or you're feminine.
00:07:01.000 So here's the problem.
00:07:06.000 What is a friendship?
00:07:08.000 What is a friend?
00:07:09.000 What is a friend?
00:07:10.000 Well, a friend is someone with whom you have mutual affection and some level of emotional intimacy.
00:07:18.000 That's what a friend is.
00:07:20.000 That's what a friendship is.
00:07:22.000 If you don't have that with someone, then they're not your friend.
00:07:26.000 Now, granted, among men, we would never put it like that.
00:07:31.000 I feel even kind of weird saying it.
00:07:34.000 But if if because I have a friend of mine says, you know.
00:07:38.000 I love this emotional intimacy we have.
00:07:40.000 I love this shared mutual affection.
00:07:42.000 If I'm if I'm going to a cigar bar having a cigar with a guy and he were to say that I really, you know, I really appreciate this emotional intimacy.
00:07:52.000 I really appreciate our mutual affection.
00:07:54.000 Well, I'm never I'm never going to talk to you again.
00:07:56.000 I would.
00:07:57.000 This is we can't.
00:07:58.000 I got to do it.
00:07:59.000 I can't be around you now.
00:08:01.000 But but even so, that's what a friendship is.
00:08:05.000 If we define intimacy in this case as, you know, not a physical or sexual thing, but as a sense of closeness.
00:08:12.000 You know, basically a little familiarity closeness, then then that's what friendship is.
00:08:19.000 Right.
00:08:20.000 So if your wife has a male friend.
00:08:25.000 Well, that is someone that she has emotional intimacy with.
00:08:31.000 That's just what it means.
00:08:34.000 And if she doesn't, then that's not a friend.
00:08:38.000 That's just an acquaintance.
00:08:39.000 Like no one is saying that you can't have acquaintances that are of the opposite sex.
00:08:42.000 You could have you could even have friendly acquaintances.
00:08:45.000 Some of this is maybe a misunderstanding of what a friend is.
00:08:50.000 Right.
00:08:51.000 But you could be friendly with someone.
00:08:54.000 You could be cordial with them.
00:08:56.000 You can work with them in that capacity, a friendly and cordial way.
00:09:01.000 You can make pleasant small talk when you see them and that sort of thing.
00:09:05.000 That's an acquaintance.
00:09:06.000 That's not a friend.
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00:09:09.000 So you're probably starting to think about what you're giving up for Lent.
00:09:14.000 It's chocolate, social media, usual suspects.
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00:10:19.000 A friend is someone that there's an emotional intimacy with. There's a, there's a closeness, a familiarity, a bond with.
00:10:26.000 Like somebody that you would sit down and have a meal with.
00:10:29.000 Someone who you call and you talk on the phone.
00:10:34.000 Uh, and, uh, and so if you're, if you're what, you know, if you're married and you have a wife and your wife has an actual friend, a male friend, then that is by definition, someone that she has emotional intimacy with.
00:10:47.000 It's a man for whom she has affection.
00:10:50.000 That's what it means.
00:10:51.000 Now that doesn't have to translate into anything sexual necessarily.
00:10:55.000 If you're a straight person, it doesn't, it doesn't mean, you know, you have, if you're a straight person, you have friends of the same sex.
00:11:01.000 There's nothing sexual or romantic there.
00:11:03.000 Um, so the, the closeness, the affection doesn't have to translate into that, but that's, that's the rub here.
00:11:10.000 If you're a straight person, that means that you do experience sexual attraction to members of the opposite sex.
00:11:16.000 So if your wife has a male friend and hopefully your wife is a, is a heterosexual and she has a male friend, well, she already has emotional intimacy.
00:11:30.000 Then what if she also happens to develop physical attraction?
00:11:35.000 I mean, you can't help that, right?
00:11:37.000 Like if you find someone attractive, you find them attractive.
00:11:40.000 That's, that's a, that's an observation.
00:11:41.000 That's just a kind of an objective observation that that person's physically attractive or they're not.
00:11:50.000 But when you have opposite sex friendships, there's automatically emotional intimacy because that's what comes with the friendship.
00:11:57.000 And there's a high likelihood of physical attraction.
00:12:02.000 And especially for women, because the other thing for women, men are much more visual than women.
00:12:07.000 Women with women, uh, they, as the emotional intimacy grows, physical attraction also grows.
00:12:14.000 Their physical attraction is dependent on the emotional intimacy.
00:12:18.000 So the longer that they're friends with another man, the more likely it is that they're going to find that man physically attractive.
00:12:24.000 And then, and then one day, what do you end up with?
00:12:27.000 Well, you end up with, ah, my wife has a friend who she's emotionally intimate with and finds physically attractive.
00:12:33.000 Okay.
00:12:34.000 Now you're in the danger zone.
00:12:36.000 Now you're in the danger zone.
00:12:37.000 Now you're in the zone where nothing good can possibly happen.
00:12:41.000 Now you're in the zone where everything can be destroyed.
00:12:44.000 Was it worth it?
00:12:47.000 Is it worth it?
00:12:48.000 Is it worth it to even get anywhere near this zone?
00:12:52.000 And that's why when people, and I talk about this and we've heard in some of the comments that, oh, well, what are you saying?
00:12:57.000 You don't have self-control, but you got to have self-control.
00:13:02.000 No, listen, you morons.
00:13:03.000 Okay.
00:13:05.000 Uh, when I say morons, I don't mean everyone watching right now.
00:13:08.000 I just mean the people that disagree.
00:13:10.000 They're morons.
00:13:13.000 Self-control should not even factor into it.
00:13:18.000 Okay.
00:13:19.000 You shouldn't put yourself in a position where the thing that is stopping you from having an affair is your self-control.
00:13:26.000 That, that shouldn't even factor in.
00:13:31.000 If you're in a position where the thing preventing you from having an affair is your self-control, you've, you're, there's already a problem.
00:13:40.000 Like it shouldn't even factor.
00:13:43.000 It's like, it's like if someone asked me, why have you never murdered anybody, Matt?
00:13:49.000 Why have you never killed anybody?
00:13:50.000 I would not say, well, it's cause I have self-control.
00:13:53.000 Like I do have self-control, but that's not why I've never murdered someone.
00:13:57.000 I've never murdered.
00:13:58.000 I've never even got, I have never gotten to the point where my self-control against murder needs to be activated.
00:14:05.000 I've never been in a situation where there's a temptation to commit murder.
00:14:11.000 If I said that self-control is what stopped me from killing someone, it means that I was in a situation where I was really tempted to commit murder and I had the opportunity to do it.
00:14:21.000 And I had the knife in my hand and I had to like, I shouldn't do it.
00:14:25.000 I shouldn't do it.
00:14:26.000 Right.
00:14:27.000 It means I'm holding the gun and I have the opportunity and I really want to kill someone.
00:14:34.000 And the thing that it's like, ah, I got, I have to have self-control.
00:14:37.000 I have to have self-control.
00:14:39.000 Well, that's a bad sign.
00:14:41.000 There's already a problem.
00:14:43.000 The thing that's stopping you from kills, killing someone should be that like, there's never, you don't want to at all.
00:14:48.000 And there's no occasion.
00:14:50.000 And it's just never been, you've never come anywhere close to that where that's even been a factor.
00:14:55.000 Uh, and the same thing goes for an affair.
00:15:02.000 Right.
00:15:04.000 Um, why have I never cheated on my wife?
00:15:08.000 Well, I do have self-control, but that's not even the primary reason.
00:15:14.000 If I said, well, the thing stopping me from cheating on my wife is self-control.
00:15:18.000 Well, what that signals is that I'm constantly in situations where the temptation and opportunity are there.
00:15:26.000 And it's my heroic self-control that stops it.
00:15:30.000 That's bad.
00:15:31.000 That means I am putting myself in these kinds of positions.
00:15:34.000 And guess what?
00:15:35.000 If you're constantly putting yourself in those positions, your self-control, that final dam is not going to hold for everyone forever.
00:15:44.000 Um, if you, if your self-control is activated, it should be self-control and not even putting yourself in the position where that's, where that's a, where that's a possibility.
00:15:52.000 Okay.
00:15:53.000 You could be married for 15 years as I have.
00:15:57.000 And it's like, I've never even been tempted to have an affair.
00:16:00.000 It's like, it's never even, I've never experienced the temptation to have an affair.
00:16:05.000 It's never even been in the realm of possibility.
00:16:10.000 It is as thinkable to me as committing murder.
00:16:14.000 And that's not me, you know, uh, being, uh, self-aggrandizing at all.
00:16:21.000 I'm saying that this is just, it's very possible to have a marriage like that.
00:16:25.000 It just requires boundaries, respect for those boundaries and not putting yourself in compromising positions.
00:16:36.000 And you can easily do that.
00:16:38.000 You can very easily do it.
00:16:45.000 And it's the same thing for your spouse.
00:16:48.000 I mean, how would you feel like really think about this?
00:16:50.000 Not, not, I mean, I'm harping on the point, but if, if you were, um, if your wife was going to hang out, if you're a man and your, your wife was going to hang out with a male friend and you said to her, Hey, you express some concern about there being something else going on.
00:17:07.000 And she were to say, Oh no, I would never do that.
00:17:09.000 I have self-control.
00:17:11.000 What is she telling you genius?
00:17:14.000 What is she telling you?
00:17:15.000 She's telling you she's greatly tempted to do it, but it's her.
00:17:19.000 But it's her self-control that's stopping it.
00:17:24.000 Um, and again, the problem is that if you're putting yourself in those positions, you've already signaled that you don't have self-control.
00:17:34.000 Like if, if temp, if, if actual temptation to commit, to commit adultery is here, your self-control needs to be all the way over here.
00:17:44.000 Self-control comes into, it comes into play way before you even get to the temptation.
00:17:48.000 The self-control is what stops you from ever getting there.
00:17:53.000 And what does that mean?
00:17:54.000 It's actually really simple.
00:17:56.000 It's actually really simple.
00:17:59.000 Put up boundaries.
00:18:00.000 You don't have friends of the opposite sex.
00:18:02.000 You don't hang out with them.
00:18:03.000 You don't, you don't form really any kinds of real bonds with them at all.
00:18:07.000 Not hard to do.
00:18:08.000 Not hard to do at all.
00:18:10.000 And at the same time, you keep your marriage, uh, alive.
00:18:15.000 You know, you keep, you, you tend to your marriage and to your spouse.
00:18:20.000 But you do, you do those two things and, uh, the risk isn't there.
00:18:24.000 You start, you start messing around with this, surrounding yourself with friends of the opposite sex and all these kinds of things.
00:18:35.000 Um, relying on your, on your Herculean self-control to save you.
00:18:40.000 You start doing that, well, you're setting yourself up for failure.
00:18:45.000 Guess what?
00:18:46.000 Every single person who's ever had an affair, every single one of them always told themselves it would never be them.
00:18:54.000 Well, every single one always said, I got self-control.
00:18:56.000 I would never do it.
00:18:57.000 And then it happens.
00:18:59.000 It's happened millions of times.
00:19:03.000 And, um, having respect for that, that acknowledging that does not mean that you don't have self-control.
00:19:09.000 It actually means that you have an understanding of human nature.
00:19:15.000 That's, that's, that's what that means.
00:19:16.000 The basic understanding of human nature.
00:19:18.000 So that is why if you, uh, have opposite sex friends and you're married, should you dump them all?
00:19:25.000 Yeah.
00:19:26.000 You need to dump them.
00:19:27.000 Just stop talking to them, which is really easy to do most of the time and move on with your life.
00:19:31.000 That's it.
00:19:33.000 And we'll leave it there.
00:19:39.000 From the moment I met you at that restaurant, it was love at first sight, but now you're sour to me.
00:19:44.000 You've lost your touch, but I don't want to lose you.
00:19:47.000 Don't let your steak leave you.
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