The Matt Walsh Show - January 18, 2025


Correcting Bad Parenting Advice ｜ Matt Walsh Reads Reddit Stories


Episode Stats

Misogynist Sentences

9

Hate Speech Sentences

5


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I could not go on without you, Lisa.
00:00:02.980 You're scaring me.
00:00:05.160 You are lying. I never hit you.
00:00:07.820 You are tearing me apart, Lisa!
00:00:10.340 Okay, we're ready, Matt.
00:00:11.940 Okay, as we do some times here,
00:00:14.400 we're going to take a look at,
00:00:16.400 go over to Reddit, where people often go
00:00:18.560 seeking advice,
00:00:20.500 advice in many different areas of their life.
00:00:22.820 But in particular,
00:00:24.320 this is somewhere where parents will go
00:00:26.900 looking for advice,
00:00:28.020 which is like the worst possible place to go.
00:00:31.720 And so we're going to go through some of these questions
00:00:33.700 and they may be looking for advice
00:00:36.560 from strangers on Reddit,
00:00:38.140 but instead they're going to get advice from me,
00:00:39.820 which, as you know, the advice that I give
00:00:41.700 is at least a little better
00:00:43.780 than what you'll get from random people on Reddit.
00:00:46.580 So I'll say that much for myself.
00:00:48.680 Okay, there's this one.
00:00:49.520 It says, I can't wait for today to be over every day.
00:00:52.020 I'm literally wishing away my life
00:00:53.520 and time with my toddler while she's still so young.
00:00:55.920 I can't wait for her to go to bed every night.
00:00:57.520 This is a me problem, not her.
00:00:59.000 She's amazing, fun, and funny.
00:01:00.180 A good sleeper, a good eater.
00:01:01.480 Generally very well behaved,
00:01:02.620 but I'm overwhelmed as a parent,
00:01:03.800 overstimulated, tired,
00:01:04.900 and just want to veg out every night
00:01:06.240 because my brain is too full.
00:01:07.960 I feel so guilty.
00:01:09.060 Has anyone else felt like this for a long time?
00:01:11.040 Like 19 plus months?
00:01:12.520 What did you do?
00:01:13.220 How did you get over it?
00:01:14.420 And reading the responses,
00:01:15.540 and of course everyone is saying,
00:01:16.740 yeah, it's totally normal and okay to feel this way.
00:01:19.140 And that's all you're ever going to get from Reddit.
00:01:20.600 That's all you're going to get from a lot of people,
00:01:22.540 especially the internet.
00:01:24.000 If you pose a dilemma like this on the internet anywhere,
00:01:27.000 not just on Reddit,
00:01:28.120 you get people encouraging you
00:01:29.480 to continue along a path
00:01:32.280 that you obviously feel bad about.
00:01:34.340 You're going down a path I can't follow.
00:01:37.440 Because of Michael Knowles.
00:01:40.500 Now, can any parent relate?
00:01:42.380 Well, yeah, of course.
00:01:43.400 I have found myself on plenty of occasions
00:01:45.340 eagerly awaiting bedtime.
00:01:46.980 But that doesn't mean that it's fine.
00:01:49.180 We actually should not have this attitude as parents.
00:01:53.220 So you should fight against it.
00:01:54.520 Fight back!
00:01:55.740 You coward!
00:01:56.620 Fight back!
00:01:59.120 It's okay to want a break.
00:02:00.440 It's okay to be tired and stressed out sometimes.
00:02:02.500 But if you find that you spend every day
00:02:04.660 just anxiously waiting for your kid
00:02:06.340 to be out of your hair,
00:02:07.460 then yeah, that's a problem.
00:02:08.940 Because you are indeed just wishing your life away.
00:02:11.300 You have to make the choice to enjoy
00:02:13.160 being with your kid.
00:02:16.080 All done?
00:02:16.580 All done?
00:02:19.280 We're a culture obsessed with instant gratification.
00:02:22.980 We're, you know,
00:02:23.600 we're the kind of people that
00:02:24.820 we watch a movie
00:02:26.320 and if it doesn't thrill us
00:02:27.620 within the first three minutes,
00:02:28.960 we turn it off.
00:02:37.100 We don't want to expend any effort at all
00:02:40.280 in the pursuit of enjoyment
00:02:41.620 or more precisely of joy.
00:02:43.880 And as a result,
00:02:45.780 we rob ourselves of true joy
00:02:47.720 because true joy requires effort to obtain.
00:02:50.500 And you got to do that with your kids,
00:02:51.840 which isn't to say that you have to lie to yourself
00:02:54.180 and convince yourself
00:02:55.280 that you enjoy being around them when you don't.
00:02:57.040 It just means you have to try.
00:02:58.060 You have to make the effort.
00:02:59.380 You know, I mentioned a few days ago
00:03:01.300 on the show that we played Monopoly
00:03:04.060 two nights in a row during Christmas break.
00:03:06.460 Well, that second night,
00:03:07.440 I was not planning to play a board game with my kids
00:03:10.300 because I was having one of those
00:03:11.660 waiting for bedtime type of nights.
00:03:14.180 It was like six o'clock or so
00:03:15.600 and I was already doing the math of like,
00:03:17.760 my plan was what we put a movie on for the kids
00:03:19.940 and it'll, you know,
00:03:21.460 if the movie is this long,
00:03:22.860 by the time it's over,
00:03:23.560 it'll be bedtime.
00:03:24.340 But then I had to stop and recognize
00:03:25.480 that this is happening in myself,
00:03:27.900 recognize that this is not the right attitude.
00:03:29.740 And so I said,
00:03:30.580 kind of in spite of myself,
00:03:31.920 you know,
00:03:32.340 let's play Monopoly again.
00:03:33.380 The kids were,
00:03:34.040 of course,
00:03:34.240 thrilled with that.
00:03:35.280 And I did.
00:03:35.960 And we had a fun time.
00:03:37.220 You know,
00:03:37.440 we put the effort in
00:03:38.960 and then once you get into the flow of it,
00:03:40.480 I actually ended up having fun
00:03:42.400 and enjoyed it,
00:03:43.860 especially because I won.
00:03:44.880 Next one says,
00:03:45.440 is it normal to love your child
00:03:46.920 more than your spouse?
00:03:48.280 Ever since the birth of our son,
00:03:49.660 my first and my wife's third,
00:03:50.940 I feel like my relationship with my spouse
00:03:52.440 has taken a back seat.
00:03:53.740 Maybe it's due to the new dynamic
00:03:54.940 and not having as much time for one another,
00:03:56.680 but I find myself
00:03:57.520 becoming more and more distant from my wife,
00:03:58.960 investing more and more of myself
00:04:00.260 into my relationship with my son.
00:04:01.500 I love my wife
00:04:02.320 and can't imagine not having her in my life,
00:04:04.040 but it feels like every day is a battle with her.
00:04:06.120 We could never agree
00:04:06.840 or have any sort of meaningful dialogue
00:04:08.240 about how I'm feeling.
00:04:09.400 Is this a normal phase?
00:04:10.640 And will it pass?
00:04:11.580 Should I look into counseling?
00:04:15.000 You don't need counseling.
00:04:16.300 You also certainly don't need
00:04:17.340 the counseling of Redditors
00:04:18.500 because once again,
00:04:20.660 a lot of the comments are,
00:04:22.260 yeah, it's normal.
00:04:23.120 You know, this is,
00:04:23.820 it's what it is.
00:04:25.220 Once you have a kid,
00:04:25.820 you love your kid more than your spouse.
00:04:27.320 This is the response you get from people.
00:04:31.400 Although you don't need counseling for it,
00:04:33.500 I don't think it is wrong.
00:04:35.380 Like you should not love your child
00:04:37.020 more than your spouse.
00:04:38.100 That may be normal
00:04:39.440 in the sense that it's how
00:04:40.820 a lot of families operate these days,
00:04:42.820 but that's why is it normal
00:04:45.520 is the wrong question to ask.
00:04:47.600 Question is whether it is good,
00:04:49.640 whether it is healthy,
00:04:50.740 whether it is how it ought to be,
00:04:53.700 whether it will make your family stronger,
00:04:56.640 whether it's good for your kids,
00:04:58.280 whether it's good for your spouse.
00:04:59.560 The best thing you can do for your child
00:05:01.380 is to prioritize your wife first.
00:05:04.940 Good call, baby doll.
00:05:07.560 I mean, the relationship with your child
00:05:09.100 is important,
00:05:10.720 but it's not what the family is built on.
00:05:13.620 And you can go through seasons
00:05:15.640 with your child,
00:05:16.440 especially I imagine as they get older,
00:05:18.180 where there's some tension,
00:05:20.100 where there's,
00:05:20.980 where you're not connecting with your child.
00:05:22.660 I mean, these things are going to happen
00:05:24.020 through the course of parenting.
00:05:25.020 And that's going to happen.
00:05:28.720 It doesn't put the family in jeopardy though.
00:05:31.500 But when you're not prioritizing your spouse,
00:05:33.840 it does.
00:05:34.920 You know what I love about New Year's?
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00:06:45.080 Next question says,
00:06:46.500 am I being too dependent
00:06:47.480 on my husband?
00:06:48.380 Today's been tough.
00:06:49.460 It's that time of the month
00:06:50.460 that I'm feeling
00:06:50.840 absolutely miserable.
00:06:51.900 Lightheaded,
00:06:52.360 heart racing week.
00:06:53.400 Arms are heavy,
00:06:54.340 there's vomit on his sweater already.
00:06:56.020 I told my husband
00:06:56.460 how I'm feeling.
00:06:57.120 He said he was concerned,
00:06:57.980 but I also know he's unfazed
00:06:59.320 because he says
00:06:59.860 I'm always complaining
00:07:00.660 about something.
00:07:01.440 What's bothering me
00:07:02.120 is right before he left,
00:07:03.140 he mentioned to our two-year-old
00:07:04.060 that he's going golfing
00:07:04.960 prior to going to work.
00:07:05.860 So basically,
00:07:06.540 he was letting me know indirectly.
00:07:08.200 He usually asks
00:07:08.780 if he can go golfing,
00:07:09.820 which I always say yes to.
00:07:11.400 I do sometimes find it annoying
00:07:12.540 when he asks
00:07:13.100 because I'm a default parent.
00:07:14.620 He has the freedom
00:07:15.100 to decide what to do
00:07:15.920 with his free time.
00:07:16.800 He doesn't need my permission
00:07:17.740 and he doesn't have to plan
00:07:18.900 around anyone's schedule,
00:07:20.140 but he didn't even ask this time.
00:07:21.660 I get it he needs a break,
00:07:22.700 but couldn't he have offered
00:07:23.620 to stay home
00:07:24.200 and help me with the kids?
00:07:25.440 I'm not expecting him
00:07:26.160 to take care of me,
00:07:27.000 but a little support
00:07:27.560 would be nice.
00:07:28.520 Before he left,
00:07:29.100 he asked what my plan was
00:07:30.280 for when the kids nap
00:07:31.100 and I said I'd lay down.
00:07:32.400 He just agreed and took off.
00:07:33.600 I feel like I'm being unreasonable,
00:07:35.120 but at the same time,
00:07:35.900 I wish he'd show
00:07:36.600 a bit more empathy.
00:07:38.340 Am I overreacting?
00:07:40.300 I want to focus really
00:07:41.120 on just one part of this.
00:07:42.400 The real answer here
00:07:43.200 is the obvious one,
00:07:43.960 which is you need to talk
00:07:44.700 to your husband.
00:07:45.680 Just take exactly
00:07:46.800 what you've written on Reddit
00:07:48.840 for strangers to chime in
00:07:50.500 and just say that
00:07:51.440 to your husband.
00:07:52.060 Don't scream it at him.
00:07:53.540 Don't scold him.
00:07:55.180 Just say it.
00:07:55.920 That's a good place to start.
00:07:56.900 Maybe your husband
00:07:57.300 should help you
00:07:57.760 with the kids more.
00:07:58.600 Maybe from his perspective,
00:07:59.660 you actually get more breaks
00:08:01.080 and have more time off
00:08:02.340 than he does.
00:08:02.920 I don't know.
00:08:03.560 I mean, that's where
00:08:04.380 communication is important,
00:08:05.620 you know, to figure that out.
00:08:07.100 But I do want to
00:08:09.000 home in on the bit
00:08:11.040 about complaining.
00:08:12.320 Your husband says
00:08:13.240 that you're always
00:08:14.320 complaining about something.
00:08:15.420 I'm going to constantly
00:08:16.420 complain about my fibromyalgia.
00:08:18.560 You don't have fibromyalgia.
00:08:20.000 No one does.
00:08:20.720 Now, predictably,
00:08:21.560 the Reddit commenters
00:08:22.480 are going to say
00:08:23.440 that your husband
00:08:24.280 is dismissive
00:08:25.100 and uncaring
00:08:25.680 and what a horrible thing
00:08:27.380 for him to say.
00:08:28.360 And maybe that's the case.
00:08:29.160 But my question is,
00:08:30.160 is he right?
00:08:31.600 Yes.
00:08:32.040 If you don't complain
00:08:32.800 very much at all,
00:08:33.760 but in this case,
00:08:34.620 you're just trying
00:08:35.500 to tell him how you feel,
00:08:36.660 trying to tell him
00:08:37.040 you don't feel well,
00:08:38.020 and his response
00:08:38.740 is just to blow you off
00:08:39.740 and say that you always
00:08:41.020 complain about something
00:08:41.760 and then go golfing,
00:08:43.040 well, then he'd be in the wrong.
00:08:44.500 But I have found
00:08:45.540 in my experience
00:08:46.320 that people who have
00:08:47.600 a reputation
00:08:48.040 for always complaining
00:08:49.020 have earned that reputation
00:08:50.900 most of the time
00:08:52.140 by complaining a lot.
00:08:53.220 So what if it's true?
00:08:54.980 Well, then you can't blame
00:08:56.440 your husband
00:08:56.920 for lacking sympathy.
00:08:58.500 You also can't blame him
00:08:59.620 for wanting to get out
00:09:00.360 of the house
00:09:00.700 and go golfing.
00:09:04.620 People just don't care.
00:09:08.900 How can they care?
00:09:10.120 How can someone care
00:09:11.280 when you're complaining
00:09:11.920 always at a certain point?
00:09:13.880 It's natural.
00:09:14.500 It's human.
00:09:15.100 Someone goes,
00:09:15.680 okay, what now?
00:09:17.380 We don't talk enough
00:09:18.220 about what complaining can do.
00:09:20.480 Complaining,
00:09:21.100 it's not like infidelity.
00:09:22.280 It's not going to blow up
00:09:23.220 your marriage
00:09:23.640 in one big dramatic explosion.
00:09:29.760 Complaining is more like,
00:09:30.860 it's more like,
00:09:31.580 it's like rust
00:09:33.060 that eats away gradually.
00:09:34.820 It makes the structure
00:09:35.660 of your marriage
00:09:36.420 weaker and more brittle
00:09:37.600 and it's just this kind of
00:09:39.160 gnawing, nagging,
00:09:40.400 constant thing.
00:09:42.480 Nobody likes to be
00:09:43.360 around a complainer.
00:09:44.320 It's not a lack of love
00:09:45.260 on their part,
00:09:45.780 it's just that it's
00:09:46.420 literally impossible.
00:09:47.900 I mean, actually,
00:09:48.840 physically impossible
00:09:49.600 to enjoy being around someone
00:09:51.240 who whines and peaches
00:09:52.380 and moans all the time.
00:09:53.240 I understand there's
00:09:53.840 a gender difference here.
00:09:54.780 Women are more prone
00:09:55.700 to complaining.
00:09:56.520 Wow.
00:09:58.720 I didn't know that.
00:09:59.820 I just,
00:10:00.280 you're telling me now
00:10:01.160 for the first time.
00:10:02.340 Part of that is that
00:10:03.220 women are more expressive,
00:10:04.500 more emotional.
00:10:05.120 They talk more about
00:10:05.800 how they feel,
00:10:06.760 which means that
00:10:07.400 it's always going to be
00:10:08.500 more repulsive
00:10:09.280 and more unattractive
00:10:10.680 for a man to be a whiner
00:10:11.920 than it is for a woman.
00:10:13.600 But that doesn't let
00:10:14.240 women off the hook.
00:10:15.460 Really think about it.
00:10:16.700 Has that become
00:10:17.820 the majority
00:10:18.920 of what you communicate
00:10:20.260 to him?
00:10:21.660 And if so,
00:10:22.780 you are killing
00:10:23.560 your marriage.
00:10:24.220 You are killing it.
00:10:25.380 You're destroying it.
00:10:26.900 And here's one more thought.
00:10:27.780 If you're prone to talking
00:10:28.800 about your frustrations
00:10:29.780 and burdens,
00:10:30.320 you should also talk
00:10:31.500 about the other side too.
00:10:33.220 You should talk about
00:10:33.860 what makes you happy.
00:10:35.020 When you have a good day,
00:10:36.300 you should talk about that.
00:10:37.760 I think complainers,
00:10:39.200 when the situation
00:10:40.520 really metastasizes,
00:10:42.040 they won't even tell
00:10:43.320 their spouse
00:10:43.980 if they had a good day.
00:10:45.720 It's like this contest
00:10:47.600 of who's more put upon.
00:10:50.160 And that's when
00:10:50.620 the situation is really bad.
00:10:52.120 And that's when you're
00:10:53.140 acting in a way
00:10:53.840 that could be catastrophic
00:10:55.020 for your marriage.
00:10:55.800 So I don't know
00:10:56.900 if any of that
00:10:58.960 is necessarily the case here.
00:11:00.180 But when I see
00:11:01.140 these kinds of things,
00:11:01.860 when people are
00:11:02.520 talking about
00:11:03.780 their marital disputes
00:11:05.000 and you see this sort of thing
00:11:06.220 just mentioned as an aside,
00:11:07.680 oh yeah,
00:11:07.960 he says I complain all the time.
00:11:08.940 Anyway,
00:11:09.880 it's like oftentimes
00:11:10.840 it's,
00:11:11.240 wait a minute,
00:11:11.940 that right there,
00:11:12.940 that's something there.
00:11:15.660 That's not in any way
00:11:16.760 and you move on.
00:11:17.860 When someone you know
00:11:18.880 and love
00:11:19.440 gives you
00:11:21.620 that kind of feedback
00:11:22.520 about yourself,
00:11:23.700 you got to take it
00:11:24.480 very seriously.
00:11:26.160 And you should also
00:11:27.160 take my feedback seriously
00:11:28.080 because after all,
00:11:29.780 I am a podcaster.
00:11:32.240 That's it.
00:11:33.740 Great shot.