The Matt Walsh Show - June 14, 2023


'Do Long Distance Relationships Work？' Matt Walsh Gives Advice


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Transcript

00:00:00.000 I'm looking for Matt, and I don't know if you're the right man, but I need to speak to you right
00:00:06.260 now, please. Okay, we'll go to the email to find some people that are seeking advice on various
00:00:13.140 different issues in their life. This is from Isaac, says, Dear Sweet Daddy, the guest preacher
00:00:18.040 at the last worship service my college's ministry holds spoke about the Apostle Paul's message in
00:00:23.820 1 Corinthians chapter 8 about how a married person's attention is divided between God and
00:00:28.220 their spouse, and so Paul says it is better to remain single. The preacher and his wife of 18
00:00:32.100 years then encouraged us to enjoy singleness and to not rush to get married too soon. However,
00:00:37.400 I have also read passages about how it's good to get married, and I'm having trouble reconciling
00:00:41.480 these two sentiments. Should I wait to seek a wife until I'm older, and how soon a relationship
00:00:46.400 is too soon for marriage, in your opinion? How soon is too soon? I feel like that question comes up in
00:00:52.900 every segment we do, but I've said, you know, I think six months for engagement is, like, there's
00:00:58.380 no exact time frame, and I'm biased because I'm only telling you what happened for me, but I think
00:01:03.860 six months is enough time to discern that you want to get engaged, and then you get engaged, but you
00:01:07.280 don't need to be engaged for five years either. As to what the pastor said, you know, I think that it's
00:01:11.280 at the best naive in the extreme, unhelpful, you know, in this environment. We're talking to young
00:01:17.700 people, so you said you're a college student, right, so you're a young adult, and just have the
00:01:22.300 message be, enjoy singleness. I certainly hope there was at least more to it than that. It's not
00:01:26.980 so easy, especially from everything that I hear from single people all the time that are looking
00:01:30.840 for someone. It's, you know, to just enjoy it and enjoy being alone, especially when most of us have
00:01:37.420 this longing to find a companion that's very natural, and to just say, oh, I'll just enjoy being
00:01:45.520 single out in this decaying society of ours. So I think that's at best naive, and it's also a
00:01:50.660 misinterpretation of that particular passage of 1 Corinthians. It's a very specific situation,
00:01:56.880 a moment in time, not that it has no application outside of that, but he's talking to people in a
00:02:01.180 specific situation that I don't think is intended for you to be taken as a young adult in modern
00:02:09.840 American 2023. I don't think that that verse is the Apostle Paul telling you that it's better if
00:02:16.620 you don't get married. There are some people who are called to that, where you are called to a life
00:02:22.240 of service outside of marriage, but for most people, that's not your vocation. That's not what you're
00:02:26.500 called to. You should discern whether that's the case, but it sounds like for you, you know you want
00:02:30.780 to get married eventually, so that's not the case for you. Also, in that same verse, if I'm not
00:02:35.800 mistaken, I could look it up, but right after saying that, he also mentions that even in that
00:02:43.480 context in which he was writing, if not getting married is going to lead you into sin, you know,
00:02:51.920 into sexual sin, now you're having sexual relations outside of marriage and that sort of thing,
00:02:56.860 if that's where it's going to lead you to, then it's better to get married. You know, he even says
00:03:00.220 that in that passage, and I don't think that that's the only reason to get married, but it is
00:03:06.280 also true. Trying to be chased and observe biblical sexual morality as a young single adult in modern
00:03:13.300 America is a very difficult thing, and to just think that that's good, and for a pastor to say,
00:03:18.300 well, do that indefinitely is not very practical. I don't think it's good advice. Man, that's some bad
00:03:23.680 advice. So, I think already, as a young adult, you know, you're thinking about marriage, and you get
00:03:29.980 into the dating scene with that in mind, and it doesn't mean that the first person you go on a date
00:03:35.400 with, you're going to get married to. It's just that that's the end goal you have in mind, and you are,
00:03:40.620 you know, it's like a, it's a mutual job interview.
00:03:43.600 Where you are seeing if each other are the right fit for, for marriage down the line, but it's
00:03:58.000 important to have that end goal in mind, to know, so you're dating with a purpose, you know what this
00:04:02.480 is supposed to be leading to, you know the kind of standard that you're, that you're looking for,
00:04:07.280 and there's no reason why you can't think, start thinking about that right now. You know, it takes a
00:04:10.540 special kind of company to want to partner with my show. I say a lot of things that make a lot of
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00:04:57.580 puretalk.com slash Walsh. Pure Talk. Wireless for Americans by Americans. Rachel says,
00:05:03.460 Hi, Matt. I'm in the military, currently stationed overseas, and I'll be getting stationed in Alaska
00:05:08.040 three months from now. I'm in a relationship with a man that I could see myself spending the rest of
00:05:11.740 my life with, but he was sent to be stationed in the southeastern U.S. a few months ago.
00:05:17.740 We still talk on the phone nearly every day since he left, and we watch movies and shows together
00:05:21.460 on video chat. We send each other books to read and songs to listen to, all of which I'm beyond
00:05:25.740 grateful for, but I'm so scared that the distance will eventually cause us to drift apart and I'll
00:05:29.000 lose him forever. He's given me no reason to think this way. He always expresses that he misses me and
00:05:33.580 he loves talking to me, and he's even told me that he doesn't want to lose me either. I'm trying to
00:05:37.680 just enjoy every moment I share with him, but there are times that the fear of losing him is
00:05:40.980 too overwhelming. Do you have any advice for pushing past this fear or on keeping a long
00:05:44.860 relationship strong over a long period of time? I think it's sort of similar advice to what I just
00:05:49.500 gave. I think that I don't know how long you guys were dating before you ended up being sent to
00:05:55.320 different parts of the world. In any dating situation, it's important to have that end goal in mind and for
00:06:00.560 you both to understand that that's what you're working towards is eventually getting engaged and
00:06:04.760 getting married. If either one of you has ruled that out as a possibility or you have no interest
00:06:10.620 in even thinking about marriage right now, then that's something that should be communicated to
00:06:14.120 the other because that means that this is a relationship doomed to fail, and it's probably
00:06:17.160 better to just cut it off now. Cut it out. Get out of here. Or you can hang on until the heartbreak
00:06:22.260 comes down the line. So that's the case in any dating relationship, but I think especially in a
00:06:27.660 situation like this where you guys are time zones apart, it's important to have that end goal in
00:06:32.780 mind. So I would start talking about that if you haven't already. And I think that gives you your
00:06:37.440 best chance when you both know where this is leading, what you want for the future. It's not
00:06:41.940 like this open-ended. So having an open-ended, ambiguous kind of relationship is potentially fatal
00:06:48.060 to the relationship in any context, but especially when you're not even physically around each other.
00:06:52.920 So that's one thing I would certainly do. All right. We'll leave it there for today. Godspeed.