Ep. 1288 - Our Intellectual ‘Elites’ Aren’t Just Plagiarists. They’re Also Morons.
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 6 minutes
Words per Minute
168.68831
Summary
The Harvard plagiarism scandal continues to expose the utter intellectual bankruptcy of our supposedly elite institutions. Also, the media mourns the 3rd anniversary of January 6th, the Governor of Ohio backtracks partially on his veto of a bill that would have protected kids in the state from gender transition, the host of the Golden Globes delivers what is sure to go down as the worst comedic performance of the year, and a doctor on TikTok declares that being unhealthy is okay. All that and more today on The Matt Welch Show.
Transcript
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Today on the Matt Wall Show, the Claudine Gay plagiarism controversy continues to expose
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the utter intellectual bankruptcy of our supposedly elite institutions.
00:00:07.880
Also, the media mournfully commemorates the third anniversary of January 6th.
00:00:11.780
The governor of Ohio backtracks partially on his veto of a bill that would have protected
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kids in the state from gender transition butchery.
00:00:18.560
The host of Golden Globes last night delivers what is sure to go down as the worst comedic
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And a doctor on TikTok declares that being unhealthy is okay.
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There's a documentary called Behind the Curve in which a group of people who think the
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earth is flat decided to test their hypothesis.
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They spend something like 20 grand on a laser gyroscope and they run some tests.
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And lo and behold, they learn that the earth, contrary to their assumptions, is in fact
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Their response to that was exactly what you'd expect.
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They started rationalizing away the experiment.
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We were taken aback by that, one of the men said.
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He added, we obviously were not willing to accept that.
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Now, that documentary came out a few years ago.
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It was an interesting look at human psychology and how people respond when their own actions
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debunk their whole worldview, I mean, literally their worldview in the case of the flat earthers.
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You know, it's one thing for someone else to prove you wrong.
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It's something else entirely to disprove your own ideology and to reveal how bankrupt and
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Now, it's easy to point and laugh at flat earthers, but this is a phenomenon that we are seeing
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In fact, it's been playing out for the whole country over the past few weeks as proponents
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of the Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, or DEI, have witnessed the complete implosion of
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the president of Harvard University, Claudine Gay.
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Now, this is a woman who personifies everything DEI stands for.
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Her family runs the largest concrete plant in Haiti.
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She became the first black president of Harvard University despite publishing only a handful
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And she did it all based on three factors, her skin color, her gender, and her willingness
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to smear and destroy all of her ideological enemies along the way.
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And in just a couple of weeks, she's been outed, as you know, as a complete moron and
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She proved that she's incapable of answering extremely basic questions in Congress.
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She also demonstrated that she's incapable of writing anything without ripping off dozens
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Now, given all this, the cognitive dissonance for the DEI crowd has to be overwhelming right
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I mean, after all, one of their holiest figures in their entire cult has just crashed and
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She's provided irrefutable evidence that DEI rewards mediocrity and destroys every institution
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And that's difficult for these people to accept, as you can imagine.
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And that's why, in the wake of Claudine Gay's resignation as president of Harvard, there hasn't
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really been a debate over the merits of DEI or anything approaching a reasonable conversation.
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Because the word debate suggests that two sides are presenting their arguments in a real
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and rational, you know, a clear and rational way.
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But in this case, what's happening is that the anti-DEI side is making coherent arguments,
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while the pro-DEI faction can do nothing but perform and posture and vomit its emotions
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They're actually a lot less respectable and coherent than even the flat earthers, because at least
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the flat earthers proponents have arguments, as flimsy as those arguments may be.
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But that's still more than can be said for the DEI defenders.
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Now, the spectacle that aired on CNN over the weekend perfectly captures this dynamic.
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It features two DEI advocates, one of them named Lulu Garcia Navarro and then another one
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And they're speaking with two male counterparts who are actually sane.
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Now, in this debate, Goldberg and Salam explain why DEI is a scam used to smuggle leftist ideology
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The women on the other side of the discussion can only scowl and huff and repeatedly declare
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Lulu Garcia Navarro also interrupts constantly while demanding that the two men on the other
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side of the debate stop interrupting her, which they never did.
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So we'll play just a portion of this tire fire, which aired on national television.
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But before we get to the really disastrous part for the pro-DEI side, first, here's Salam
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You need to hear this first to fully appreciate the contrast.
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Has, in effect, the country moved on from the so-called racial reckoning we were all
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talking about after the murder of George Floyd?
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I think there is a broad sense that that racial reckoning involved smuggling in certain really
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contentious ideological ideas that weren't ultimately about diversity, but rather were
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When you're looking at DEI bureaucracies, what really is noxious about them is that they
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actually don't respect all sorts of diversity, including viewpoint diversity, including the
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fact that, look, in some cases you have groups that are overrepresented and that can be OK.
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Vance was making about the Dallas Mavericks is that it can be good and healthy and reasonable
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That means that underrepresentation can also be.
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But fundamentally, the fact that, you know, I am one second generation Asian American on
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But I think it's reasonable to say that you're going to judge people based on their
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Now, OK, put aside the inaccurate assertion from Chris Wallace that George Floyd was murdered.
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The rest of that clip is logical, level-headed, perfectly coherent.
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Now, let's see if things remain on that level once the other side starts interjecting.
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When you're looking at organizations that count that matter, they're high-performance organizations.
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This is the burden, and I can't tell you how infuriating I find it.
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This is the burden that always comes with representation.
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The idea is that because you are a person of color, suddenly it is, you are only there
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It is because some white guilt put you there because there was some DEI initiative.
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I mean, what infuriates me is you look at the whole Claudine Gay thing, and everyone's
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This woman cannot win or lose either if she is there.
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If she's there, it's because of DEI, that they put her there because she's black.
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If she loses and they kick her out, it's because she actually was never good enough to be there
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And it is infuriating as a person of color to constantly have this cudgel put on our
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I get the argument that you can't win, but you also can't have it both ways.
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You can't celebrate and tout that someone was hired, and it's a wonderful thing to expand
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diversity, and Harvard went full tilt talking about how great it was to hire the first black
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The point is, is that she got caught obviously plagiarizing, and that is the...
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Those are the facts that, you know, there's this massive piece...
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The motives of the attack don't change the fact that she plagiarized.
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And where I disagree with you, Cara, is when you say...
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When somebody fails who's white, and who's a man...
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Okay, so there's a lot of incoherence in that, too.
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She was struggling to figure out what her point even was.
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And then she says that, well, if she's hired, it's only because she's black because of
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diversity, and then if she gets fired, it's only because she's a plagiarist.
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I mean, that's pretty much how it works with DEI.
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So that's the funny thing is that if it sets up a no-win scenario, which, by the way,
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this didn't have to be a no-win scenario for Claudine Gay.
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If she wasn't a plagiarist, then she'd still have the job and that'd be...
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But if it does set up a no-win scenario, it is DEI setting up that no-win scenario.
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When you start hiring people, because she didn't really make the point well, but you
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could make the point, although it's an anti-DEI point, that when you hire people based on their
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race and you tout that they're hiring because of the diversity and inclusion, then you have
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automatically created this sort of aura of suspicion around this person that they're not
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Because if they were cut out for the job, then you wouldn't need to say anything about the
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If you don't hire based on the merits, then people suspect that, oh, this person doesn't
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So again, if it's a lose-lose scenario, it is one that DEI sets up.
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The women just keep shouting about how horrible it is to assume that Claudine Gay was a DEI
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hire, even though Harvard's policy for generations now has been to elevate mediocre candidates
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And then when it's pointed out that Claudine Gay plagiarized more than half of her academic
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writings, the response is to just attack the motivations of the people who uncovered the
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But even if that's true, that the people who are politically motivated and uncovering,
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When Jonah Goldberg points out that, yeah, well, whatever their motivations were, she still
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They have no response but just to screech incoherently.
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And as with so many other debates on so many other issues, if you know nothing about the
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issue and you saw this discussion, right, you would immediately know that the women on the
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left are full of crap without knowing anything else.
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Because you can tell they bring nothing but their emotions to the table.
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All they have is their indignation and their feelings.
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If you ask them for evidence to prove their assertions, they'll say something about books
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And this is why these people get in trouble for plagiarism so often, by the way.
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You know, if you read one of their papers and there's a little citation marking, you go
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down to the footnotes, you know, you look for where it is.
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And again, all this would be clear to any observer who had no background knowledge about
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If you do have background knowledge, then it's even more obvious that these women on the
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Now, on this issue, like so many others, the left has no intellectual leg to stand on.
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If there was any sort of substantive argument to be made for DEI, they would make it.
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They would produce evidence, for example, that institutions become more effective as they
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They wouldn't just assert this as a fact, as they always do.
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Instead, they simply insist that their position must be true.
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And even if it isn't true, only a bigot would point that out.
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Because after all, pointing things out, noticing things, is the cardinal sin on the left.
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That appears to be their entire argument when it comes to the entire Claudine Gay controversy.
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You know, they won't try to claim that Gay didn't plagiarize.
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So, instead, they appear to be arguing that it was our responsibility to not notice the
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plagiarism or to ignore it once we did notice it because she's a black woman.
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Now, this is the total intellectual bankruptcy that you find on the left.
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And since the left controls all of our powerful institutions, this intellectual bankruptcy lies
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Now, this is the larger problem underlying the Claudine Gay debacle.
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You know, the real problem with Claudine Gay's plagiarized papers isn't that they were plagiarized.
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It's the fact that even if they were original thoughts, they were still vapid and dumb and
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You know, it used to be that Harvard presidents conducted original research on important topics
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But now they write useless garbage for a non-existent audience solely to advance themselves.
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And this is the part of the whole Claudine Gay story that you don't hear much about, but
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it's far more important, actually, than the fact that she lifted several paragraphs from
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It turns out that even if she hadn't plagiarized a word of her academic writings, Claudine Gay
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So, first of all, let's just look at the topics of all of her publications.
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Okay, every single one of them is about black people or equity in some fashion.
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That's like the only thing she wrote about before she got this job.
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Her papers have titles like, The Effect of Black Congressional Representation on Political
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Participation, and the Impact of Gender and Race on the Politics of Black Women, and the
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Effect of Economic Disparity on Black Attitudes Towards Latinos.
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So, this is what passes for research on diversity.
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You know, it's the least diverse resume you can possibly imagine.
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It's like paging through a random author bio on salon.com.
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You know, with a sole exclusive focus on black issues, Claudine Gay, for that reason alone,
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shouldn't have been in the running for any job anywhere in academia, but perhaps maybe
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Like, what was she doing running Harvard in the first?
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The only thing she cares about are black issues.
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It's the only thing she's ever written about, talked about, the only thing she even pretends
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But even for a historically black college, she would still be totally unqualified.
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Now, to be fair to Claudine Gay, in and of itself, maybe you could argue that this resume isn't
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If Claudine Gay had been writing truly groundbreaking stuff about gender and race and the politics
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of black women or whatever, then maybe you might be inclined to give her a pass on this
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I mean, if she was actually saying something useful or interesting or unique or insightful
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It turns out that Claudine Gay wasn't just a race-obsessed grifter who plagiarized whole
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In fact, the data behind Claudine Gay's papers, the information she was passing off as new and
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Which, again, is really a much bigger deal than plagiarism, as big a deal as plagiarism is.
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So let's zero in on one of the papers I mentioned a few seconds ago.
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It's called The Effect of Black Congressional Representation on Political Participation.
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This paper was published in the American Political Science Review all the way back in 2001.
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And it's an important paper because it's one of the handful of publications that somehow
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got Claudine Gay tenure at Stanford University before she moved on to Harvard.
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And the basic idea of this paper is that when black people get elected to Congress, they make
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And somehow this thesis made sense to Claudine Gay and everyone who peer-reviewed this document.
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And to that end, the paper contains all kinds of tables which point to data that supposedly
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proves this point, that whites just hate voting when black people are on the ballot.
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And that's the kind of discovery that would confirm that white supremacy is real and white
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So of course, both Stanford and Harvard loved it.
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And of course, it was too good for them to check.
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So they didn't bother to check whether the data was any good.
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Now, the problem is that a few decades later, a researcher named Jonathan Paulison decided
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And he found that Claudine Gay's data contradicts itself.
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At one point, Gay's data tables show that Missouri Congressman Bill Clay's presence on the ballot
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But elsewhere, Gay's tables show that Bill Clay had a very significant effect on voter turnout,
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Now, put aside the fact that it's absurd to claim that Bill Clay, simply because he's black,
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would make white voters want to stay home on election day.
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The question remains, why do Claudine Gay's tables contradict themselves?
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Claudine Gay certainly hasn't offered one herself.
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Every time researchers have tried to look into this, Gay refused to provide the underlying
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data that she used to generate the tables in her papers.
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In 2002, two professors, Michael Heron of Dartmouth and Kenneth Schatz of Stanford,
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presented a paper that effectively debunked Gay's entire methodology.
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We were, however, unable to scrutinize Gay's results because she would not release her data set to us.
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That footnote was removed from the final version of their paper.
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If you try to find and download the paper online today,
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you're not going to find any mention of Claudine Gay.
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And instead, if you find the paper, you'll find that Heron and Schatz debunk a hypothetical methodology
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It's almost like someone wanted to protect her for some reason.
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But writing for Jordan Schatzel's substat, Chris Brunet, got his hands on the first version of Heron and Schatz's takedown.
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And, you know, the one that hasn't been censored or redacted in any way.
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And the full uncensored footnote calls Gay's conclusions, quote,
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And it includes a lot of technical details, which no one, including Claudine Gay, has refuted.
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Now, the point is that this is a far bigger scandal than Claudine Gay lifting some paragraphs here and there.
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The fact is that her ideas and the data underlying those ideas were useless and fraudulent and apparently just, like, made up.
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Her publications were race-based screeds that were only ever cited by a handful of academics.
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And those handful of academics very quickly proved that they were complete garbage.
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And yet, Gay somehow became president of Harvard.
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And documents criticizing the substance of her, quote-unquote, scholarship were scrubbed.
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And even now, she's still making around $900,000 a year as a professor.
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This is the state of Harvard University and American academia in general.
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Yes, our intellectual elites are often thieves and plagiarists.
00:20:49.540
But what matters more is that they are just as intellectually bankrupt as they are morally bankrupt.
00:21:00.400
And their power and influence is crumbling by the day.
00:21:03.640
And based on their panic over the past few weeks, we can be pretty sure that they're aware of it.
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So we'll begin with this as we must, because over the weekend, there was the solemn third
00:22:26.780
anniversary of January 6th, a sacred occasion where we all come together to remember the
00:22:33.680
time when members of Congress experienced a minor and temporary inconvenience for a couple
00:22:40.680
But, you know, it was an inconvenience that they never got over, because these people are
00:22:51.860
And so on Saturday, there were a lot of dramatic displays of mourning and grief and remembrance.
00:23:00.600
But none were as unintentionally hilarious as what happened on MSNBC, where one of the anchors
00:23:14.740
Thank you for what you did three years ago today.
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Please tell me your thoughts on this third anniversary.
00:23:26.960
We are still in the midst of the the same fight that began on January 6th, 2021.
00:23:50.660
And I think that it deserves every American's attention.
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That's that's that's that's that's tough to watch.
00:24:02.340
I haven't seen acting that good since the Jussie Smollett Good Morning America interview.
00:24:08.560
Or maybe good isn't the word here, but it is acting.
00:24:13.540
And, you know, I think probably more than enough has been said about the media's increasingly
00:24:18.700
desperate attempts to turn January 6th into a national tragedy on par with 9-11 or worse
00:24:27.200
And, you know, there's not much else to say, except that it is in a way fascinating and
00:24:33.520
often unintentionally hilarious to see how these people really have constructed an alternate
00:24:40.780
And it's a reality, you know, it's a reality that exists basically only in D.C., like the
00:24:56.200
So when you watch MSNBC, it's like you're watching a cable news broadcast from another
00:25:02.100
You're tapping into something from some other dimension somewhere out in space.
00:25:14.180
I mean, never mind people who are not MSNBC viewers, but even MSNBC viewers.
00:25:18.560
None of those viewers actually feel this way about January 6th.
00:25:23.680
Now, they might claim they do, but I guarantee that not even an MSNBC viewer is getting choked
00:25:30.420
up in the year 2024 when remembering January 6th, 2021.
00:25:36.520
Okay, like nobody in real life, no actual human in real life actually considers that event to
00:25:47.240
And even with 9-11, you know, with 9-11, you did not see people in media crying on air
00:26:00.500
There was a lot of emotion at the time, in that case, understandably.
00:26:08.800
It doesn't happen with natural disasters or school shootings or whatever.
00:26:12.140
It doesn't happen with any legitimate tragedy where dozens or hundreds or thousands of people
00:26:18.280
I mean, there were, you don't have to go back to 9-11.
00:26:21.500
I mean, there were historically bad wildfires in Hawaii, you know, just a few months ago.
00:26:29.000
And dozens of people burned to death, if not more.
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I mean, we still don't even really know the full death toll, I don't think.
00:26:34.760
But I'm willing to bet that this guy on MSNBC, he could talk about that event, which is only
00:26:43.400
a few months old and in which dozens of people died horrific deaths.
00:26:49.520
He could talk about it without choking up, right?
00:26:52.580
He probably talked about it while it was happening, while people were actually burning to death in
00:27:02.240
And yet, January 6th does this to him, supposedly.
00:27:11.140
And I should say, you know, I say that they're living in it.
00:27:17.320
But they're trying to construct it for everybody else to live in.
00:27:25.280
Okay, we talked at the beginning of last week about the cowardly governor of Ohio, Mike
00:27:31.220
DeWine, who vetoed a bill that would have banned the chemical castration and butchery of gender
00:27:39.880
He claimed that, you know, he respected the parental rights of parents who want to mutilate
00:27:45.060
And it's very important that we don't interfere with that, he said.
00:27:51.880
Well, on Friday, I started getting tagged in a bunch of tweets from leftists claiming
00:27:58.120
that I had bullied Mike DeWine into changing his mind.
00:28:02.300
So tweets like this from a guy named Dan Smith, it says, the anti-trans mob bullied DeWine
00:28:09.780
This is more Matt Walsh and libs of TikTok domestic terrorism using their hateful followers
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to intimidate conservative leaders into doing their bidding.
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Now, I will say that if we bullied Mike DeWine into submission, that would be great.
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I am totally in favor of bullying cowards and making them do our bidding.
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And if they cave to us in fear, then I say, fantastic.
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Someone like Mike DeWine should absolutely be bullied and disgraced and mocked and belittled
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Like, that's the kind of shame he should experience for the rest of his life.
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But unfortunately, Dan Smith, I think, is giving me a little bit too much credit because DeWine
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has not exactly backtracked, at least not all the way.
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Governor Mike DeWine signed a limited executive order on Friday banning transgender surgeries
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on children just one week after he vetoed a bill that would have prohibited all transgender
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DeWine's executive order comes as Republicans in the state pushed to override his veto of the
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A bill that would have protected children from transgender surgeries, as well as puberty
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blockers and cross-sex hormones, which have life-altering impacts and can harm fertility,
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In his executive order, DeWine said that he instructed the Ohio Department of Health
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to come up with rules to ban gender transition surgeries on minors.
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According to the Ohio Department of Health, the emergency rules filed on Friday, prohibit health
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care facilities, including ambulatory surgical facilities and hospitals, from performing gender
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And DeWine had a press conference on Friday where he explained these new rules that he
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We'll provide protections for children and adults receiving care in this area from hospitals
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Candidly, as I expressed a week ago, I am concerned that there could be fly-by-night providers,
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clinics that might be dispensing medication to adults with no counseling and no basic standards
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With the rules that we are announcing today that we'll take care of that, we need to ensure
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that adults, as well as children, are protected.
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These draft rules will be discussed at length with legislators and interested parties and will
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One, the requirement of a multidisciplinary team to support an individual through care,
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including but not limited to an endocrinologist, a bioethicist, and a psychiatrist.
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So, just to skip ahead, he vetoed the outright ban on children receiving, quote-unquote, gender
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And now he is, through executive order, passing a ban on surgeries.
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And then also, as he explains, he's putting in some regulations around adult gender transitions,
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not banning it, which those should be banned also, but requiring a waiting period and further
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And you've got to bring a bioethicist in, which none of that means anything, by the way.
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There is no bioethicist who would be consulted for something like this, who would not give
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Same for psychiatrists, and because all these industries have been, are totally ideologically
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But, in other words, this is DeWine trying to thread the needle, you know, trying to find
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Which means that we are not done bullying Mike DeWine.
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I mean, first of all, yes, we should ban gender surgeries on minors, obviously.
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And the much more common form of abuse like this is through puberty blockers and hormones.
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So, when we talk about kids being castrated, this is happening all the time.
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Most of the time, though, it's happening chemically, which doesn't make it any better, clearly.
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What he's saying, and he doesn't phrase it like this, he's saying, okay, surgical castration
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of children is no longer allowed, but chemical castration is fine.
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Like, you're banning the less common form of the butchery and allowing the more common form of it.
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And not only is that just wrong on its face, it also makes no sense logically.
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I mean, this is the guy who claimed that we can't ban hormones and puberty blockers because
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Okay, well, what about the doctors and the parents, and they are out there, who would
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say that a 15-year-old girl needs to have her breasts removed so she can be a boy?
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So, in those cases, we're able to recognize that the parents and doctors are simply wrong,
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yet we can't do that with puberty blockers and hormones.
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In fact, the same exact medical organizations that endorse and perform cosmetic double mastectomies
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on minors are the ones who also claim that kids need hormones and puberty blockers.
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So, if we recognize that double mastectomies for minors are not only wrong, but wrong is
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an understatement, but this is like utter savagery and butchery.
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Like, doesn't that prove then that these organizations can be wrong, can be horrifically wrong about
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So, then why would we trust them on anything, especially anything related to this very topic?
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Like, these medical organizations are doing something so horrible that you feel the need
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to ban it by executive order, and yet in the next breath, you cite the authority of these
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same exact organizations to explain why you aren't banning hormones and puberty blockers?
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Now, there's going to be a temptation on the right to see this as progress, and they'll say,
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hey, you know, at least we're moving in the right direction, and they'll want to see this
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as kind of incremental improvement, but it isn't.
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Okay, that's not what, now, actual incremental improvement, I'm in favor of.
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Okay, you know, if we're trying to move a certain direction, and, you know, I want to be
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all the way over here, but I can only make it to right here for now, then let's take that,
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let's take that ground, and then immediately set to work to take the rest of it.
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In fact, the entire fight, as far as I'm concerned, the entire fight against the mutilation and abuse of children
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is itself, you know, an incremental move in the ultimate, towards the ultimate goal.
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Because, yes, protecting kids from this butchery is the most important thing, and so we have to do that,
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and we should do it, but it's not over at that point.
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Because this entire industry, the entire gender transition industry, is corrupt and brutal,
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Like, the entire industry should be taken down.
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But you take what you can, you know, on your way, as you're chipping away and chipping away and chipping away.
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But my point is that what you're seeing with someone like Mike DeWine, this is not incrementalism, okay?
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This is not, we're moving slowly in that direction.
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And we know that because we could have, as far as banning this stuff for kids,
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Because what he's trying to do is he's looking for a way to take trans ideology and make it palatable to conservatives, right?
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So people like DeWine, they want to give us just enough, you know, just enough so that we think we've won on the issue and then we move on.
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While the evil that we were fighting against continues virtually unabated.
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It's about stopping things in their tracks and saying, all right, we'll give you this and then move on.
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So really, although it appears that he's making some minor, you know, sort of moves against gender ideology,
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He's trying to find this sort of compromise position where we on the right will accept, like, the basic premise of gender.
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Because if your position is that, okay, sure, we're not going to perform surgeries on kids, but everything else is fine, including permanent chemical castration, sterilization of kids.
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If that's your position, then you are accepting the basic underlying premise of gender ideology.
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He wants us to accept the basic underlying premise, which we cannot do.
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All right, speaking of people who should be bullied, the Golden Globes happened last night.
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But the story of the night, if there is a story, is the guy they found to host the show.
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And now, the background here on this is that nobody wants to host the Golden Globes anymore.
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You know, like 15 years ago, they would not have had this problem.
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If they want to find someone to host the Golden Globes, I imagine it would have been a line a mile long of people in Hollywood who would love to host the show.
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They asked Chris Rock, and he didn't want to do it.
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They asked Tina Fey, and she didn't want to do it.
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Until they finally got to this guy, whose name is Joe Coy, who is allegedly a comedian.
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Now, all you need to know about Joe Coy is that he came onto the scene, whatever scene he's on, I don't know, by appearing on Chelsea Handler's show.
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And that's a tree that has fallen over in the forest, and nobody heard it, and now it's rotting on the ground, and there are worms living inside it, and that's the tree that he's on.
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So, needless to say, the guy bombed, and he bombed because he's an unfunny hack.
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But specifically because he tried to pull a Ricky Gervais and kind of roast the audience.
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But he doesn't have Ricky Gervais' wit and intelligence, which you kind of need.
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And he also, I think more to the point, he doesn't have Ricky Gervais' actual willingness to offend these people.
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Which, if you're going to get up there and make fun of them for our amusement, then you have to be willing to upset them, which Ricky Gervais did, infamously.
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So, Joe Coy's opening monologue ended up being the most milquetoast, corniest thing imaginable.
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And just to give you a quick taste of it, here he is kicking things off.
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Oppenheimer answered a lifelong question that's been on my mind for years.
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I don't want you guys to think that I'm a creep, but it was kind of weird being attracted to a plastic doll.
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The one thing I learned about that movie is that white people stole everything.
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When he was getting some polite laughter there.
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But when you can't get a laugh, like a performative big laugh at the Golden Globes by making fun of white people, if you can't get that, I mean, that should be your crowd pleaser.
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Like, that's something you fall back on if you're bombing.
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And then you get applause and laughter and the whole crowd goes nuts.
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It was so bad that you watch that and you almost are longing for these stinging comedic brilliance of Trevor Noah.
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They might as well have Hannah Gadsby host next year.
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They might as well just open the show with Hannah Gadsby rambling for 45 minutes about how she's sad and obese.
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It would at least be, well, it wouldn't be any funnier, but it would at least be maybe in a weird way slightly more interesting.
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But here's the thing that's the saddest thing about this is that the people in the audience were obviously not amused.
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It's because they were actually offended by these tame, corny jokes.
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So just to show you what I mean, watch this moment where he has the tamest joke imaginable about Taylor Swift.
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As you know, we came on after a football doubleheader.
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The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL.
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On the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift.
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But Swift isn't really reacting like it's a corny joke.
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And that's why Joe Coy is doing this and not Ricky Gervais.
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These people cannot stand even the gentlest bit of teasing.
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Like, I bet if you called Taylor Swift on the phone and she picked up and you said, is your refrigerator running?
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And then you said, well, you better go and catch it.
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It's such a devastating joke to her that she would cry over that.
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So I guess that also shows why nobody wants to host this thing.
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Okay, on Friday I played a video of Grandma Madonna at her recent concert strapped to a safety harness,
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clinging to her safety bar and attempting to gyrate her hips in a humiliating display.
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And Madonna's career for the past decade has been nothing but one humiliating display after another.
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And as I explained on Friday, that's because Madonna is, like so many others in our culture,
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She refuses to be an older woman, which is what she is.
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She's 65, still pretending to be a 25-year-old, you know, sex symbol.
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And as I explained, you know, we hear people like Madonna complain about ageism.
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We are an age-denying society because we refuse to accept aging for what it is and to respond accordingly.
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Anyway, my monologue on the topic managed to capture the attention of Madonna's fans on social media
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because she apparently still has a few fans, and they're not happy.
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Ageist and misogynist, this bloke takes the cake.
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Who is he to say how a woman should behave in their 60s?
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Who is he to say how people should dance or enjoy themselves?
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As far as I can see, all this guy does is bring other people down.
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Who am I to say how a woman should behave in her 60s?
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Well, for one thing, my qualification, really my only qualification, is that I have eyes.
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And with my eyes, I can see, as anyone else can see,
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that a 65-year-old woman looks pathetic and ridiculous when she puts on aluminum spandex
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Madonna, at the age of 65, has chosen to still make her, quote-unquote, sex appeal,
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however much of it she has or doesn't have at this point,
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So she has chosen to put that front and center on stage.
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And when you do that, you cannot complain, at least with any credibility,
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So, in other words, if Madonna was a dignified, graceful, older lady,
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and she was on stage singing and entertaining everybody with her beautiful voice
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and just wearing, like, normal clothes for a woman that age to wear,
00:47:37.380
then in that case, yeah, I would be just a huge jerk if I made fun of how she looked
00:47:45.700
or I made comments about how she doesn't have the sex appeal she had when she was younger,
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you know, because she has not chosen to make any of that the topic or to highlight it.
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And so for me to focus on that would be obnoxious and wrong.
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And she herself chooses to make that the focal point.
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At this point, as far as she's concerned, all she has is that.
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She can't complain when the rest of us notice and comment
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You see a 65-year-old woman carrying on the way that she does,
00:48:32.020
because for most people, you feel secondhand embarrassment.
00:48:50.040
And beardy conservatives can whinge about it on social media
00:48:58.300
You can try to avoid the unavoidable reality of,
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you can try to deny the unavoidable reality of aging.
00:49:06.440
And you can look pathetic and embarrassing when you do it.
00:49:09.060
But what you should realize is that when people comment on it,
00:49:17.040
Madonna's not nearly provocative or interesting enough to be offensive at this point.
00:49:21.520
Or will we see any other woman, you know, older woman,
00:49:34.240
No, it's just, it is, again, secondhand embarrassment.
00:49:37.540
People are just cringing at how embarrassing you are.
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And if that's the effect that you want to have on the world
00:49:50.140
it's like people don't even want to be in the same room as you
00:49:52.180
because you're such a pathetic and pitiful specimen,
00:50:05.240
as has been by hundreds of thousands seen around the world
00:50:19.360
claiming that Madonna is still as hot as, you know,
00:50:24.160
all the people saying that are all women, right?
00:50:39.780
that you can retain your youthful beauty into your 60s.
00:51:14.640
but here you are ranting about her for 10 minutes.