The Matt Walsh Show - January 15, 2019


Ep. 176 - Gillette Insults Its Own Customers, Lectures Men


Episode Stats

Length

38 minutes

Words per Minute

170.18085

Word Count

6,543

Sentence Count

421

Misogynist Sentences

49

Hate Speech Sentences

25


Summary

Gillette decides to lecture men degrading and insulting their own customer base in the process. Also, a Hollywood director insults his own small children on Twitter. And finally, yesterday, Trump did the most down to earth and endearing thing that I think he's ever done. Of course, the left is insulting him for it.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Today on the Matt Walsh Show, Gillette decides to lecture men degrading and insulting their
00:00:05.820 own customer base in the process. We'll discuss that. Also, a Hollywood director insults his own
00:00:10.900 small children on Twitter. A lot of other parents applaud him for it. I am not applauding, and I'll
00:00:15.700 explain why. And finally, yesterday, Trump did the most down-to-earth and endearing thing that
00:00:22.580 I think he's ever done. Of course, the left is insulting him for it, but we'll talk about why.
00:00:27.980 I think it was a great move on his part. All that coming up on the Matt Walsh Show.
00:00:36.360 Just a quick FYI, I was introduced to a new phrase just now, hot off the presses. I think this is
00:00:42.880 the newest, trendiest phrase on the left. Here it is, okay, non-consensual puberty. Yes, yes,
00:00:53.660 non-consensual puberty. This apparently refers to when a trans boy is forced to go through puberty
00:01:03.080 against his will, which makes him even more apparently male, which he doesn't want to be.
00:01:08.320 So that's non-consensual puberty, which honestly, I can relate to that. I mean, I am experiencing right
00:01:16.100 now, non-consensual aging, and eventually I will non-consensually die. So it can be a very,
00:01:23.720 very tough thing. So look out for that. You're going to be hearing that more and more,
00:01:28.640 especially if you happen to go to college, which I don't recommend. Anyway, this is kind of related,
00:01:33.900 actually. Let's talk about Gillette, the best a man can get, supposedly, which was always a
00:01:41.340 questionable slogan because men really shouldn't be shaving at all. I don't know a lot about Gillette,
00:01:48.120 as you can tell. And as if to drive that point home, as if Gillette wanted to drive home the point
00:01:55.260 that, you know what, don't use our product, don't shave, they came out with an ad, if you can call it
00:02:01.720 an ad, which encourages men to shave off their toxic masculinity and to, you know, to stop being
00:02:11.900 generally so horrible. You see men, men really haven't been lectured and scolded and sermonized
00:02:21.100 to enough. So Gillette decided they were going to get in on the ad. I think the people at Gillette,
00:02:26.240 the advertising, you know, folks there, they sat around and they said, okay, we're trying to sell
00:02:32.980 razors. We're trying to sell shaving cream. How can we get more men to buy this stuff? And then they
00:02:41.220 all kind of looked at each other and they said, we need to tell them that they're awful. And yeah,
00:02:47.520 you know what they need? A homily. That's what they need. They need a homily. And everyone,
00:02:51.580 they all nodded in agreement and they said, let's do it. Brilliant. I should mention, by the way,
00:02:57.260 that all of the, in this, in this scenario, all of the advertising people at Gillette,
00:03:01.040 they are all college-aged feminists, apparently. And so this is the ad they came up with.
00:03:09.400 And it is, it's being hailed as wonderful and inspiring, mostly by liberals. Feminists,
00:03:15.920 of course, love it. As I said, I think feminists probably are the ones who came up with this.
00:03:19.220 And when feminists love an ad that's supposedly made for men, you know that something's wrong.
00:03:24.600 So let's, um, let's take a look here. Here's the ad right now.
00:03:30.020 Bullying. The Me Too movement against sexual harassment. Toxic masculinity.
00:03:34.120 Is this the best a man can get?
00:03:35.900 The best a man can get.
00:03:39.860 Is it?
00:03:42.900 Bullying. A problem.
00:03:44.420 We can't hide from it.
00:03:45.560 Sexual harassment is taking over.
00:03:47.480 It's been going on far too long.
00:03:52.360 We can't laugh it off.
00:03:54.980 Who's the daddy?
00:03:57.320 What I actually think she's trying to say.
00:03:59.880 Making the same old excuses.
00:04:01.860 Boys will be boys.
00:04:03.220 Boys will be boys.
00:04:04.240 Boys will be boys.
00:04:05.260 But something finally changed.
00:04:07.500 Allegations regarding sexual assault and sexual harassment.
00:04:10.720 But she says we've been talking to the line.
00:04:13.080 And there will be no going back.
00:04:16.020 Because we, we believe in the best in men.
00:04:21.260 Men need to hold other men accountable.
00:04:24.640 Smile, sweetie.
00:04:25.940 Come on.
00:04:27.220 To say the right thing.
00:04:29.340 To act the right way.
00:04:31.700 Bro, not cool? Not cool?
00:04:33.500 Some already are.
00:04:34.900 In ways big.
00:04:38.080 Young men.
00:04:39.820 Forever.
00:04:40.720 And small.
00:04:42.120 I am strong.
00:04:43.440 I am strong.
00:04:46.300 But some is not enough.
00:04:51.140 It's not how we treat each other, okay?
00:04:53.240 Okay.
00:04:54.740 Because the boys watching today
00:04:56.920 will be the men of tomorrow.
00:05:00.580 Okay.
00:05:06.660 So, a few things here.
00:05:08.300 First of all,
00:05:10.060 the ad says,
00:05:12.460 and I know there, you know,
00:05:13.740 there are a lot of,
00:05:14.220 as I said, a lot of feminists,
00:05:15.400 and I've seen plenty of women,
00:05:17.180 not just women,
00:05:17.740 but also liberal men,
00:05:19.340 on social media who are saying,
00:05:21.160 well, what's the problem with this thing?
00:05:22.540 You know, it seems fine to me.
00:05:23.960 What's, it's inspiring, right?
00:05:25.980 What's, what's wrong with inspiring men?
00:05:29.200 Well, there's a lot wrong with it,
00:05:30.500 and I'm going to try to explain it to you now.
00:05:33.240 First, the ad says that something changed, okay?
00:05:38.960 And there's no going back.
00:05:41.260 And then as soon as it says that,
00:05:43.220 then we see all these scenes of men
00:05:45.520 doing normal, decent things,
00:05:47.220 like breaking up fights between kids,
00:05:50.980 refraining from sexually harassing women,
00:05:54.600 and the thing that's supposed to be the catalyst,
00:06:01.160 the thing that supposedly changed everything
00:06:03.800 and made men see the error in their ways
00:06:06.460 is the Me Too movement, right?
00:06:08.340 The Me Too movement.
00:06:09.320 And you hear this all the time,
00:06:11.820 that the Me Too movement came along
00:06:14.720 and made men look at themselves
00:06:16.520 and rethink things
00:06:17.860 and come to realizations
00:06:19.360 and have epiphanies.
00:06:21.160 This is also,
00:06:22.080 a lot of the men who are caught up
00:06:23.620 in the Me Too movement,
00:06:24.700 a lot of the Hollywood celebrities
00:06:26.320 who were exposed as perverts,
00:06:30.680 when they came out
00:06:31.620 with their inevitable apologies,
00:06:33.100 they would always have a line like this.
00:06:34.920 They would say,
00:06:35.520 well, you know,
00:06:36.020 the Me Too movement,
00:06:36.920 I think it's made all men
00:06:38.220 think of things differently now,
00:06:40.920 you know?
00:06:42.420 So you see these guys,
00:06:43.680 they're trying to make it
00:06:44.340 not just about them,
00:06:45.220 it's really all men.
00:06:46.220 This is insulting and degrading.
00:06:49.980 And if you can't see
00:06:51.160 why it's insulting and degrading,
00:06:53.080 then I don't even know
00:06:54.280 if there's any way for me
00:06:55.000 to explain it to you.
00:06:56.000 It should be self-evident
00:06:57.400 why this is insulting and degrading.
00:06:59.380 The vast majority of men
00:07:01.360 do not need
00:07:03.160 and did not ever need
00:07:04.840 the Me Too movement
00:07:06.260 to tell them not to rape women
00:07:08.440 or to harass women.
00:07:09.560 Listen, okay?
00:07:12.440 The Me Too movement
00:07:13.740 came about
00:07:14.500 because perverts in Hollywood
00:07:16.240 were being perverts,
00:07:18.900 were being jerks,
00:07:21.220 or worse.
00:07:24.760 Most of us didn't learn
00:07:26.100 anything from that
00:07:27.100 because we already knew it.
00:07:30.360 So, no, I'll tell you right now,
00:07:32.200 I did not learn a single thing
00:07:34.280 from the Me Too movement.
00:07:35.340 I learned nothing from it.
00:07:36.920 Harvey Weinstein,
00:07:38.300 Kevin Spacey,
00:07:39.200 all these guys.
00:07:40.240 Bill Cosby,
00:07:41.220 I didn't learn anything from that.
00:07:42.300 I learned absolutely nothing
00:07:43.280 because I already knew
00:07:45.840 all of that.
00:07:47.260 So, there wasn't any point
00:07:48.740 where I was sitting down
00:07:49.780 and watching a news report
00:07:51.060 about Harvey Weinstein
00:07:52.260 and I went,
00:07:54.140 oh, man.
00:07:55.140 Oh, so we're not supposed
00:07:56.480 to do that?
00:07:57.360 Oh, okay.
00:07:59.800 Whew, all right.
00:08:01.700 No, that never happened for me.
00:08:03.140 I never had that moment.
00:08:04.860 Probably 95% of all the men
00:08:06.960 in the world
00:08:08.640 never had that moment
00:08:09.560 because we already knew that.
00:08:11.480 And in fact,
00:08:11.920 the thing is,
00:08:12.620 I would say actually
00:08:13.860 100% of men in the world
00:08:15.740 never had that moment
00:08:17.100 because even the men
00:08:18.280 who do those things
00:08:19.680 already knew
00:08:21.800 that they weren't
00:08:22.360 supposed to do it.
00:08:23.240 It's not like
00:08:23.540 they were confused about it.
00:08:25.700 That's one of the problems
00:08:26.500 with this ridiculous thing
00:08:27.500 you hear from feminists
00:08:28.320 about,
00:08:29.000 well, we need to teach
00:08:30.100 boys not to rape.
00:08:31.600 Let's teach boys
00:08:32.420 not to rape.
00:08:33.180 Teach them not to rape?
00:08:35.380 What?
00:08:36.380 Do you really think
00:08:37.740 that you need to sit down
00:08:39.380 and say to boys,
00:08:41.300 hey, listen,
00:08:41.820 don't rape people?
00:08:43.100 I mean,
00:08:43.640 are you going to sit them down
00:08:44.720 and say,
00:08:45.140 hey, listen,
00:08:45.780 don't be serial killers, okay?
00:08:47.980 I want you to listen
00:08:48.780 very closely to me right now.
00:08:49.940 Listen to what I'm saying.
00:08:51.780 Do not rob banks.
00:08:53.600 Don't do it.
00:08:55.360 No, you don't need
00:08:56.540 to ever say that
00:08:57.340 to really anyone explicitly.
00:08:59.920 And I know you'll say,
00:09:00.860 well, people do those things.
00:09:02.000 Yeah, they do them,
00:09:03.140 but they know
00:09:03.900 they're not supposed
00:09:04.640 to do them.
00:09:06.040 Yet they do them anyway.
00:09:07.300 You know why?
00:09:07.620 Because there are evil people
00:09:08.880 in the world
00:09:09.480 who know that things are evil
00:09:11.560 and yet do those evil things anyway
00:09:13.520 because there's something else
00:09:15.180 that they want, okay?
00:09:16.340 So an evil person will say,
00:09:17.580 I'm going to rob the bank anyway
00:09:18.900 because I know
00:09:20.000 I'm not supposed to do it.
00:09:20.880 Yes, but I really want the money.
00:09:22.680 Or a very evil person will say,
00:09:24.120 I know I'm not supposed to rape,
00:09:25.540 but I'm going to do it anyway
00:09:27.080 because I'm going to fulfill
00:09:30.300 this dark and depraved desire.
00:09:32.400 So it was never a matter of confusion.
00:09:35.120 All right?
00:09:35.300 That's a very important point here.
00:09:39.140 Second, again,
00:09:42.060 the majority of men
00:09:43.520 will already do this.
00:09:47.760 So think of in that ad
00:09:50.940 the sort of virtuous, courageous things
00:09:55.080 that they show men doing.
00:09:57.540 Breaking up fights,
00:09:59.080 stopping bullying,
00:10:01.640 refraining from sexually harassing.
00:10:04.300 The majority of men
00:10:05.620 will already do that.
00:10:07.180 That's how the majority of men
00:10:08.100 already act.
00:10:10.080 Now the ad says
00:10:11.480 some men do these things.
00:10:16.480 Which, think of how insulting that is.
00:10:19.520 So they're showing these really basic,
00:10:22.020 decent things,
00:10:22.940 and they're showing human beings
00:10:25.120 just acting like human beings.
00:10:26.860 And then the ad says,
00:10:28.360 well, sure,
00:10:29.400 some men already do these things.
00:10:31.280 Some?
00:10:34.220 In fact, the ad twice gives this example
00:10:36.780 of a grown man
00:10:38.300 breaking up a fight between kids.
00:10:40.160 And it portrays this
00:10:41.360 as some sort of,
00:10:42.380 in fact, I think it gives that example
00:10:43.620 three times, actually.
00:10:45.240 And it portrays this
00:10:46.300 as some sort of rare example
00:10:47.920 of manly courage.
00:10:50.040 Except almost every adult man
00:10:51.740 I've ever met in my life
00:10:52.680 would do that.
00:10:54.420 And if you're walking
00:10:55.060 down the street
00:10:55.720 and you see some kid
00:10:57.420 getting beat up
00:10:58.180 by a bunch of other kids
00:10:59.120 and getting picked on,
00:11:00.000 of course you're going to step in.
00:11:02.440 What?
00:11:03.400 The people who made Gillette,
00:11:04.660 do they think that most men
00:11:05.840 are really going to stand by
00:11:06.940 and watch it happen
00:11:07.760 and say, yeah, get him!
00:11:08.880 Bully him!
00:11:09.660 Do some more bullying!
00:11:10.840 Yes, we love bullying!
00:11:13.480 Really, the people who made this ad,
00:11:14.980 I'm not sure if they've ever
00:11:16.120 met a man in their life.
00:11:18.420 Which is kind of concerning
00:11:19.520 considering they make razor blades
00:11:20.840 for a living.
00:11:22.560 Now, unless the fight
00:11:24.020 is actually just a couple of kids
00:11:25.860 roughhousing
00:11:26.660 and playing around
00:11:28.400 and having a good time,
00:11:29.980 which, yes,
00:11:30.680 boys ought to be able to do that.
00:11:32.720 Because, yes,
00:11:33.600 boys will be boys.
00:11:35.660 In one of the scenes of the ad,
00:11:37.620 we see a man,
00:11:39.520 and this is supposed to be
00:11:40.360 an inspiring moment,
00:11:41.560 a man runs in,
00:11:42.720 he's at a barbecue,
00:11:43.460 he runs in,
00:11:43.940 he swoops in
00:11:44.700 because two little boys
00:11:46.740 are kind of like rolling around
00:11:47.720 in the grass
00:11:48.380 and they appear to both
00:11:49.080 be sort of smiling.
00:11:51.360 And so this man,
00:11:52.420 he runs,
00:11:54.020 you know,
00:11:54.260 he's at the grill
00:11:55.140 and he drops,
00:11:55.900 he runs over
00:11:57.020 and stops them
00:11:58.000 and separates them
00:11:58.680 and says,
00:11:59.200 oh, that's not how
00:12:00.140 we treat each other, okay?
00:12:03.440 No, see, yeah,
00:12:04.160 there,
00:12:04.600 that's where most men,
00:12:06.080 or I would hope anyway,
00:12:07.220 if they see a couple kids
00:12:08.100 roughhousing out in the grass,
00:12:09.300 they're outside,
00:12:10.600 yeah, you're going to let them
00:12:11.260 do that.
00:12:11.940 Because it's not a big deal.
00:12:13.000 That's how boys like to play.
00:12:15.300 When my son gets together
00:12:16.820 with his little cousin,
00:12:18.260 who's,
00:12:18.580 they're about the same age,
00:12:20.020 I mean,
00:12:20.320 they just beat the crap
00:12:21.900 out of each other.
00:12:22.520 I mean,
00:12:22.780 they're like a couple of,
00:12:24.820 they're like a couple of,
00:12:26.560 like,
00:12:26.900 rabid raccoons
00:12:28.120 going at each other,
00:12:29.700 but it's,
00:12:30.320 they're having fun.
00:12:31.640 That's just how boys play,
00:12:33.720 right?
00:12:34.740 If it gets really dangerous
00:12:35.780 or something,
00:12:36.420 or if they're about
00:12:36.800 to break something,
00:12:37.900 then we'll stop them.
00:12:39.080 But otherwise,
00:12:40.080 you let boys do that.
00:12:41.920 Because actually,
00:12:44.920 boys will be boys
00:12:46.300 is in fact
00:12:48.240 a really important
00:12:50.720 piece of wisdom.
00:12:54.620 Boys will be boys
00:12:56.080 is not a slogan
00:12:58.320 of toxic masculinity.
00:13:00.320 It may be a cliche,
00:13:01.900 but like many cliches,
00:13:03.500 it contains
00:13:04.220 some very crucial insights.
00:13:08.760 You know what?
00:13:10.160 I'm not sure,
00:13:11.040 aside from in ads like this
00:13:13.140 or in movies or TV shows,
00:13:15.000 I'm not sure
00:13:15.520 if I've ever heard anyone
00:13:17.060 sincerely offer
00:13:19.060 boys will be boys
00:13:20.400 as an excuse
00:13:21.680 for actually bad behavior.
00:13:23.880 Like,
00:13:24.200 I've never heard anyone say
00:13:26.580 when we're talking about rape
00:13:28.460 or actual bullying
00:13:30.420 or anything like that.
00:13:31.800 I've never heard someone say,
00:13:32.680 well,
00:13:32.940 you know,
00:13:33.220 boys will be boys.
00:13:35.320 That's not real.
00:13:36.840 It's not a thing.
00:13:37.480 Nobody says that.
00:13:38.380 In any situation
00:13:40.800 I've been in
00:13:41.320 where this phrase
00:13:42.360 boys will be boys
00:13:43.340 or something like it
00:13:44.180 comes up,
00:13:45.140 it's when we're talking
00:13:46.040 about things
00:13:46.660 that boys should be able
00:13:48.160 to do.
00:13:48.800 Boys do have aggression.
00:13:50.840 They have energy.
00:13:52.120 They, you know,
00:13:52.600 they have creativity.
00:13:54.760 They need to be able,
00:13:56.020 they need an outlet
00:13:56.780 for these things.
00:13:57.740 And you can't
00:13:58.720 constantly be stifling
00:14:00.040 and suppressing
00:14:01.080 all of that.
00:14:02.800 Because you do need
00:14:03.960 boys to be boys.
00:14:05.380 And this is something
00:14:06.760 that parents of boys
00:14:08.040 need to understand.
00:14:10.480 And I feel really,
00:14:11.440 I feel very sorry
00:14:12.720 for boys
00:14:13.340 who have parents
00:14:14.800 who think that
00:14:15.740 boys will be boys
00:14:16.780 is some sort of
00:14:17.520 horrible phrase
00:14:19.160 that excuses
00:14:20.480 terrible evil.
00:14:22.180 I feel very sorry
00:14:23.360 for boys
00:14:23.940 with parents like that.
00:14:25.900 Because those are boys
00:14:27.280 who are not going
00:14:28.080 to be allowed
00:14:28.640 to be boys.
00:14:29.280 And if you're not
00:14:30.980 allowing your boy
00:14:31.720 to be a boy,
00:14:32.540 then what are you doing?
00:14:33.300 You're forcing your boy
00:14:34.360 to act like a girl.
00:14:36.440 And that is not fair.
00:14:39.940 You let your girl
00:14:40.900 act like a girl,
00:14:41.620 don't you?
00:14:45.280 Third thing,
00:14:48.080 can just imagine
00:14:51.080 for a moment
00:14:51.860 a similar ad
00:14:54.100 but for women.
00:14:56.480 Well, you can't imagine it
00:14:57.660 because no such ad
00:14:58.980 would ever be made.
00:15:00.800 No such ad
00:15:01.780 could ever possibly exist.
00:15:05.440 Can you imagine
00:15:06.440 an ad
00:15:07.100 that said
00:15:07.820 some women
00:15:10.180 act right?
00:15:12.140 You know,
00:15:12.460 some women
00:15:13.680 act the right way.
00:15:15.580 Can you imagine
00:15:16.460 an ad like that?
00:15:17.660 Can you imagine
00:15:18.240 an ad that showed
00:15:19.040 various scenes
00:15:20.620 of women
00:15:21.140 acting horribly
00:15:22.180 and then
00:15:23.700 it allows
00:15:24.500 at the end
00:15:24.940 a concession
00:15:25.380 some women
00:15:26.220 act the right way.
00:15:28.480 And this is an ad
00:15:29.440 for like Dove
00:15:30.500 Body Wash
00:15:31.640 or something like that.
00:15:34.220 Or it's,
00:15:34.980 I don't know,
00:15:35.580 you know,
00:15:35.840 a tampine commercial.
00:15:36.800 I mean,
00:15:37.120 can you imagine
00:15:38.840 an ad like that?
00:15:39.580 It couldn't,
00:15:40.500 because you know
00:15:40.980 what would happen?
00:15:42.080 Feminists would literally
00:15:43.100 be rioting
00:15:43.940 in the streets.
00:15:44.720 They would be burning
00:15:45.720 the product
00:15:46.400 in the street.
00:15:48.500 They'd be making
00:15:49.300 like Molotov cocktails
00:15:50.440 out of it
00:15:51.520 and tossing it
00:15:52.400 in people's windows.
00:15:53.400 I mean,
00:15:53.800 that's how upset
00:15:54.940 they would be
00:15:55.460 at an ad like that.
00:15:56.800 At an ad
00:15:57.300 that degraded
00:15:58.140 and demeaned
00:15:58.860 and insulted
00:15:59.560 women like that
00:16:00.320 and talked down
00:16:01.160 to them
00:16:01.640 and insinuated
00:16:03.840 that most women
00:16:05.300 don't know
00:16:06.760 how to behave
00:16:07.380 like decent
00:16:08.000 human beings.
00:16:10.120 Can you imagine
00:16:11.060 an ad that used
00:16:11.900 the phrase
00:16:12.400 toxic femininity?
00:16:14.380 Can you imagine
00:16:14.900 anyone using
00:16:15.660 that phrase?
00:16:16.700 Toxic femininity?
00:16:18.880 What if I were
00:16:19.680 to start using,
00:16:20.240 what if I were
00:16:20.700 to start talking
00:16:21.720 about toxic femininity?
00:16:23.560 Toxic femininity,
00:16:24.580 that's when women
00:16:25.960 gossip maliciously
00:16:27.720 about each other
00:16:28.460 or when women
00:16:30.140 shop,
00:16:31.580 spend too much money,
00:16:32.700 too much of their money
00:16:33.420 on clothing
00:16:34.000 or when a woman
00:16:36.800 acts just mean
00:16:39.420 and nasty
00:16:40.120 to a man
00:16:40.900 that's just trying
00:16:41.760 to talk to her
00:16:42.480 and make conversation.
00:16:44.440 These kinds of things
00:16:45.480 happen all the time
00:16:46.140 in society.
00:16:47.380 Women act like that
00:16:48.240 all the time.
00:16:49.740 I'm not going to say
00:16:50.200 most women do,
00:16:51.160 but that certainly happens.
00:16:52.860 We've all encountered
00:16:53.420 women like that,
00:16:54.100 haven't we?
00:16:54.380 Just like we've encountered
00:16:55.100 men who are jerks.
00:16:57.580 Yet you're not allowed
00:16:58.420 to call that
00:16:59.160 toxic femininity,
00:17:00.240 are you?
00:17:02.420 And I would never
00:17:03.200 actually use that phrase
00:17:04.140 because that's not femininity.
00:17:06.480 Femininity is a good thing.
00:17:08.740 There is no toxic femininity.
00:17:10.120 It's like there's
00:17:10.480 no toxic masculinity.
00:17:12.440 There are men
00:17:13.320 who act the wrong way.
00:17:14.220 There are women
00:17:14.520 who act the wrong way.
00:17:16.220 But the women
00:17:16.820 who act the wrong way,
00:17:17.620 it's not because
00:17:18.100 they're being too feminine.
00:17:20.200 Most of the time,
00:17:20.980 it's precisely the opposite.
00:17:22.120 Just like with the men.
00:17:22.980 It's not that they're
00:17:23.380 being too masculine.
00:17:24.500 Most of the time,
00:17:25.240 the problem is exactly
00:17:26.180 the opposite of that.
00:17:31.220 But this,
00:17:33.460 and by the way,
00:17:35.740 when it comes to
00:17:36.620 fights and things,
00:17:37.620 when there's a fight
00:17:39.000 going on and there are
00:17:39.800 people standing around
00:17:40.640 cheering it on,
00:17:41.820 listen, I saw plenty
00:17:42.680 of fights in high school
00:17:43.500 like many of us did.
00:17:44.320 And I can tell you
00:17:46.240 that girls are just
00:17:48.040 as likely to stand around
00:17:49.880 and watch a fight
00:17:50.780 and cheer it on
00:17:51.740 and laugh
00:17:52.360 and record it on their phone
00:17:53.740 so they can put it
00:17:54.280 on the internet later.
00:17:55.020 I mean,
00:17:55.420 they're just as likely
00:17:56.660 to egg it on.
00:17:57.420 I mean,
00:17:57.540 this is something
00:17:58.080 girls do too.
00:17:59.760 Just like many
00:18:00.640 of the things
00:18:01.340 that you saw in the ad
00:18:02.520 and that feminists
00:18:03.180 blame men for,
00:18:04.480 this is something
00:18:05.060 that girls also do,
00:18:06.640 women also do
00:18:07.380 all the time.
00:18:08.880 You know,
00:18:09.100 feminists like to
00:18:09.860 complain about how men
00:18:10.900 talk over women
00:18:11.900 and won't let them
00:18:12.800 speak or won't let them
00:18:16.740 voice their own opinion,
00:18:18.560 their own perspective.
00:18:19.440 Well,
00:18:19.620 you think women
00:18:20.120 don't do that
00:18:20.700 all the time?
00:18:21.540 You think women
00:18:21.960 don't talk over men
00:18:23.060 constantly?
00:18:25.560 As I've said before,
00:18:26.640 in situations where I,
00:18:28.540 you know,
00:18:29.620 in most situations
00:18:30.780 I've been in,
00:18:31.440 when there is a group
00:18:32.420 of people,
00:18:33.700 men and women,
00:18:34.560 standing around
00:18:35.160 or sitting around
00:18:35.680 and having a conversation,
00:18:36.760 it's usually the women
00:18:37.960 who do most of the talking.
00:18:40.460 And if there's anyone
00:18:41.400 involved who's not
00:18:42.320 allowed to get a word
00:18:44.000 in edgewise,
00:18:44.660 it's usually going
00:18:45.300 to be the man
00:18:45.980 who can't,
00:18:46.580 not the women.
00:18:47.500 So I just don't,
00:18:49.000 it just doesn't
00:18:49.440 make any sense.
00:18:51.020 All right.
00:18:52.460 Now that we've talked
00:18:53.420 about masculinity,
00:18:55.560 let's look at why
00:18:58.500 a lack of masculinity
00:19:00.740 can be harmful.
00:19:04.680 As I said,
00:19:06.080 the problem with men,
00:19:08.060 it's not when they
00:19:08.880 have too much masculinity,
00:19:10.000 it's when they lack it.
00:19:12.900 So let's look at an example.
00:19:14.400 For that,
00:19:14.840 we turn to a man
00:19:16.560 named Duncan Jones,
00:19:18.100 director of various
00:19:20.260 sci-fi films,
00:19:21.560 Hollywood sci-fi films.
00:19:23.180 Some good ones
00:19:24.120 like the movie Moon,
00:19:25.880 which I think
00:19:26.700 is one of the best
00:19:27.240 sci-fi movies
00:19:27.880 in the last 10 or 15 years.
00:19:29.060 And also some bad ones.
00:19:30.280 He apparently directed
00:19:31.040 Warcraft.
00:19:33.680 Anyway,
00:19:34.200 he decided that Twitter
00:19:35.360 was the right forum
00:19:36.540 to vent his deepest
00:19:38.860 parental frustrations.
00:19:41.320 And so in a couple of tweets,
00:19:43.520 which have now gone viral,
00:19:45.280 he had this to say.
00:19:47.320 I'll read what he said.
00:19:48.060 He said,
00:19:48.440 I have two kids,
00:19:50.100 two and a half,
00:19:50.960 two and a half years
00:19:52.600 and nine months old,
00:19:53.400 respectively.
00:19:54.360 I'll tell you something
00:19:55.240 I never see anyone admit.
00:19:57.380 They are exhausting,
00:19:58.760 frustrating,
00:19:59.180 and life destabilizing.
00:20:00.180 They are rarely fun.
00:20:03.600 Sure,
00:20:04.020 smiles are great,
00:20:04.960 hugs are lovely,
00:20:05.800 but it's hard
00:20:06.560 and not obviously
00:20:07.640 a good choice in life.
00:20:09.780 And then he followed it up
00:20:10.780 with another tweet.
00:20:11.300 He said,
00:20:11.520 this is where people
00:20:12.180 feel compelled to say,
00:20:13.300 I wouldn't change it
00:20:14.100 for the world,
00:20:14.860 but you know,
00:20:15.620 of course I'd reconsider.
00:20:17.480 It's exhausting.
00:20:18.500 It's banal.
00:20:19.620 It's like looking after a dog
00:20:21.260 you can't house train.
00:20:23.000 What it is,
00:20:23.860 is that it is.
00:20:25.100 And they are mine.
00:20:26.360 Hopefully they turn out okay.
00:20:27.640 Well,
00:20:28.200 I hope so too,
00:20:31.400 Duncan,
00:20:31.860 but unfortunately,
00:20:33.300 the odds are against them,
00:20:35.360 it seems,
00:20:35.880 if this is your attitude
00:20:36.720 about parenting.
00:20:39.180 What's most concerning
00:20:40.280 about these tweets is,
00:20:41.640 because if you see a tweet
00:20:42.400 like that
00:20:42.900 and it's just kind of
00:20:43.920 lingering out there
00:20:45.900 on its own
00:20:46.520 and nobody's reacting to it,
00:20:47.820 then it's just whatever.
00:20:49.660 But,
00:20:50.280 these tweets provoked
00:20:52.320 a lot of reaction
00:20:53.120 and in the first day or so
00:20:54.960 after they were published,
00:20:56.200 a sizable portion
00:20:57.820 of the responses
00:20:58.600 were entirely supportive
00:21:00.300 and sympathetic
00:21:01.140 to what he was saying.
00:21:05.120 Now,
00:21:05.620 it's not like this now.
00:21:07.440 If you go look
00:21:07.880 at the tweets now,
00:21:08.700 because sane voices
00:21:10.960 have entered the discussion,
00:21:12.360 so it's not the same now.
00:21:13.640 But,
00:21:14.140 originally,
00:21:15.720 if you looked at these tweets
00:21:16.760 and then you were
00:21:17.280 to read the thread,
00:21:19.540 I mean,
00:21:19.920 almost all of the top
00:21:21.180 like 20 or 30 tweets
00:21:22.500 were agreeing
00:21:23.440 with what he was saying.
00:21:25.480 people were,
00:21:28.580 parents decided
00:21:29.320 that this was an opportunity
00:21:30.440 for them to come
00:21:32.460 and join the fray
00:21:34.360 and kind of register
00:21:35.400 their own public complaints
00:21:36.900 about their children.
00:21:38.660 And their complaints
00:21:39.560 were not just
00:21:40.640 the standard sort of
00:21:42.440 parenting can be tough
00:21:44.280 type complaints,
00:21:45.760 but much more specific
00:21:47.240 and personal,
00:21:48.860 my life is miserable
00:21:50.000 and my kids are awful
00:21:51.240 kinds of complaints.
00:21:52.180 And then you had
00:21:54.080 some of the people
00:21:55.600 in the media
00:21:56.160 wrote articles about this.
00:21:58.940 There was an article
00:21:59.840 in Harper's Bazaar
00:22:00.720 about it.
00:22:02.160 And the person
00:22:03.160 who wrote that article
00:22:04.160 said that
00:22:05.100 Duncan Jones'
00:22:06.240 comments were
00:22:08.320 very important,
00:22:10.840 accurate,
00:22:11.600 and he should be
00:22:13.040 applauded
00:22:13.700 for offering them.
00:22:15.940 Well,
00:22:16.420 I'm not sure
00:22:16.760 that I can applaud.
00:22:18.100 I'm not sure
00:22:18.400 I can join
00:22:19.180 the standing ovation here.
00:22:20.220 And I say this
00:22:21.780 as a parent
00:22:22.280 of three kids,
00:22:23.620 two five-year-olds,
00:22:25.140 one two-year-old.
00:22:26.440 So I'm in the same
00:22:27.820 basic phase
00:22:29.340 of parenting
00:22:29.900 as Duncan Jones is.
00:22:32.460 And look,
00:22:33.720 yes,
00:22:34.220 I will agree
00:22:35.240 that,
00:22:36.640 sure,
00:22:37.000 parenting is a challenge.
00:22:38.860 You don't get
00:22:39.620 a ton of sleep,
00:22:40.800 especially in the beginning.
00:22:42.400 And that really,
00:22:43.160 that can take a toll on you.
00:22:44.440 I mean,
00:22:44.660 the sleep thing
00:22:45.920 really does wear you out.
00:22:46.820 That's a tough one
00:22:48.080 when you're not
00:22:48.460 getting a lot of sleep.
00:22:49.080 And there's a lot
00:22:51.140 of crying
00:22:51.600 and there's a lot
00:22:52.180 of noise
00:22:52.700 and there's a lot
00:22:53.440 of movement
00:22:54.160 and somebody's always
00:22:55.580 asking for a snack
00:22:57.720 and when they get
00:22:58.300 to be four or five,
00:22:59.580 there are a million
00:23:00.460 questions a day.
00:23:01.960 I mean,
00:23:02.440 there are always
00:23:03.800 questions.
00:23:05.780 And parenting
00:23:06.700 is generally expensive
00:23:08.120 and it can be exhausting
00:23:09.780 and it can be
00:23:10.680 anxiety-inducing.
00:23:14.080 Nobody thinks
00:23:15.160 and nobody
00:23:15.900 would ever claim
00:23:16.740 that parenting
00:23:17.500 is just this
00:23:18.380 non-stop thrill ride
00:23:20.020 or it's luxurious
00:23:21.400 and relaxing
00:23:22.240 and all that.
00:23:23.100 You know,
00:23:23.420 nobody would ever
00:23:24.140 say that.
00:23:26.660 But worthwhile
00:23:27.720 things are never
00:23:28.960 that way.
00:23:29.480 I can't think
00:23:29.900 of a single
00:23:30.360 worthwhile thing
00:23:31.500 that is completely
00:23:32.940 easy and relaxing
00:23:34.580 and nothing but fun
00:23:35.720 the whole time.
00:23:36.240 There's not a single
00:23:37.200 worthwhile thing
00:23:37.860 that is like that.
00:23:40.800 So fine,
00:23:41.680 I'll give you
00:23:42.540 all that,
00:23:43.140 right?
00:23:43.400 But to say
00:23:45.360 that parenting
00:23:45.900 is rarely fun,
00:23:48.260 like looking
00:23:48.860 after a dog,
00:23:50.520 not obviously
00:23:51.680 a good choice,
00:23:53.420 if you see
00:23:54.940 parenting in those
00:23:55.800 terms,
00:23:56.780 there is something
00:23:57.780 wrong with you.
00:23:59.340 So this is not
00:24:00.380 a thing of,
00:24:01.320 well,
00:24:01.800 he's just voicing
00:24:02.640 his opinion
00:24:03.200 and, you know,
00:24:03.880 that's his opinion
00:24:04.620 and he's being honest
00:24:06.280 and we should applaud him.
00:24:07.140 No,
00:24:07.620 there's something
00:24:08.200 wrong with it.
00:24:08.840 It's actually not
00:24:09.800 okay to feel that way.
00:24:10.780 if you do feel
00:24:12.620 that way,
00:24:12.960 then you do,
00:24:13.640 right?
00:24:14.000 I mean,
00:24:15.080 but what I'm saying
00:24:15.880 is you shouldn't
00:24:16.400 accept those feelings
00:24:17.560 and this is one
00:24:19.240 of the problems
00:24:19.940 with people
00:24:21.820 sharing
00:24:23.800 their deepest,
00:24:25.240 most intimate
00:24:25.880 emotions
00:24:27.680 on the internet
00:24:28.540 is that sometimes
00:24:30.060 those feelings
00:24:30.720 and those perspectives
00:24:31.540 and those opinions
00:24:32.200 are not actually okay
00:24:33.480 and so you shouldn't,
00:24:35.240 number one,
00:24:35.580 you shouldn't be sharing them
00:24:36.420 because it's not
00:24:37.160 anyone's business.
00:24:38.660 This is not the forum
00:24:40.040 for that
00:24:40.580 so before we even
00:24:41.640 get into the specifics
00:24:43.040 of the comment,
00:24:43.700 this is not the forum
00:24:44.620 for that.
00:24:45.040 Go talk to your therapist,
00:24:46.100 talk to your spouse,
00:24:46.920 talk to your priest,
00:24:47.620 I mean,
00:24:47.780 talk to somebody personally.
00:24:49.220 You don't need to put it
00:24:49.900 on the internet
00:24:50.380 and the problem is
00:24:52.040 when people have thoughts
00:24:52.920 and feelings like this
00:24:53.680 and they put it on the,
00:24:54.720 the reason why they put it
00:24:55.940 on the internet
00:24:56.540 is because they're looking
00:24:58.120 for other people
00:24:59.060 to chime in
00:24:59.900 and say,
00:25:00.660 oh yeah,
00:25:00.900 I feel that way too
00:25:01.660 and then all of a sudden
00:25:02.720 this feeling
00:25:03.560 that originally
00:25:04.860 seemed to you
00:25:05.820 to be kind of shameful,
00:25:07.200 now you feel okay with it.
00:25:08.620 Now you're going
00:25:09.440 to sort of accept it.
00:25:11.580 Because you see that,
00:25:12.840 oh,
00:25:12.880 other people feel the same way
00:25:13.880 so it must not be that bad.
00:25:16.700 If you're sitting around
00:25:17.980 wallowing in misery
00:25:19.100 that parenting is
00:25:20.400 destabling your life
00:25:22.700 and you would like
00:25:25.340 to reconsider,
00:25:27.640 those are not feelings
00:25:29.180 that you should just accept
00:25:30.400 and embrace.
00:25:31.520 Those are not good feelings.
00:25:32.640 they come from a character
00:25:35.460 defect in you
00:25:36.600 and that defect
00:25:37.300 is pretty easy to identify.
00:25:39.340 Selfishness,
00:25:40.380 immaturity,
00:25:41.000 that's where it comes from.
00:25:43.080 I mean,
00:25:43.300 if you rarely have fun,
00:25:44.740 I cannot,
00:25:46.700 how can a person manage
00:25:48.280 to rarely have fun
00:25:49.900 with like a two-year-old?
00:25:52.200 Two-year-olds
00:25:52.920 are a blast.
00:25:53.940 And if you haven't learned
00:25:57.320 how to have fun with them,
00:25:59.240 it's only because
00:26:00.520 you haven't learned
00:26:01.800 how to have fun
00:26:02.600 or to take joy
00:26:04.760 in things
00:26:05.560 that don't revolve
00:26:07.020 completely around you.
00:26:09.420 That's why.
00:26:11.420 But once you've developed
00:26:12.900 the ability
00:26:13.480 to actually look
00:26:14.360 beyond yourself
00:26:15.220 just a little bit
00:26:16.160 and to kind of like
00:26:17.100 push your own needs
00:26:18.240 and desires
00:26:18.880 just slightly
00:26:20.200 towards the back burner,
00:26:21.980 even for a few moments,
00:26:24.360 it becomes extremely easy
00:26:26.720 to have fun with kids,
00:26:28.460 especially young kids.
00:26:31.260 Like I said,
00:26:31.940 my son is two years old
00:26:32.960 and the kid is hilarious.
00:26:33.900 He's also a challenge.
00:26:35.020 He's going through
00:26:35.380 his phase right now
00:26:36.100 where he breaks
00:26:37.440 into these temper tantrums
00:26:38.600 randomly
00:26:39.060 and for no apparent reason.
00:26:40.840 So yeah,
00:26:41.260 that's tough.
00:26:41.900 That's not fun.
00:26:43.460 But most of the time,
00:26:44.860 the kid is hilarious.
00:26:46.460 We took him out
00:26:47.040 in the snow yesterday
00:26:47.800 to go sledding
00:26:48.520 and he loved it.
00:26:49.060 I mean,
00:26:49.360 it's just,
00:26:49.980 how can you not have fun
00:26:51.940 in that situation?
00:26:54.580 Unless, again,
00:26:55.760 you demand
00:26:56.500 that every moment
00:26:57.500 of your life
00:26:58.120 center around you.
00:26:59.340 Because yeah,
00:27:00.220 with a two-year-old,
00:27:00.920 it's not going to be like that.
00:27:02.760 These moments
00:27:03.820 with your kid
00:27:04.560 when you're having fun
00:27:05.120 with a two-year-old,
00:27:05.740 they're not going to be
00:27:06.220 moments about you.
00:27:06.860 They're going to be
00:27:07.120 moments about the two-year-old.
00:27:08.600 All of these moments
00:27:09.740 when you're taking
00:27:10.540 the two-year-old
00:27:11.260 out to have fun,
00:27:12.620 you're going to be
00:27:13.000 caring for the two-year-old,
00:27:14.300 watching after them,
00:27:15.320 doing things that interest them.
00:27:17.060 And so it's not going
00:27:17.780 to be about you.
00:27:18.320 That's true.
00:27:19.060 But that doesn't mean
00:27:20.100 that you can't have fun
00:27:20.880 doing it.
00:27:24.520 Here's my experience.
00:27:27.940 Kids are the most difficult
00:27:29.580 when you try to relegate them
00:27:32.220 to the background
00:27:33.080 because kids don't like
00:27:35.600 being put in the background.
00:27:39.540 This is one of the reasons
00:27:40.460 why time out
00:27:41.340 or sending a kid
00:27:42.000 to a corner
00:27:42.560 can sometimes be
00:27:43.920 an effective form
00:27:44.660 of discipline.
00:27:45.380 Now, for you and me,
00:27:46.400 that would not be
00:27:47.200 an effective punishment
00:27:48.000 because we would say,
00:27:48.780 oh, you want me to just go
00:27:49.420 chill in a corner for an hour?
00:27:50.800 Great.
00:27:51.580 Awesome.
00:27:52.460 But kids don't like it
00:27:53.920 because kids don't like
00:27:54.760 to be put.
00:27:55.380 They don't like to be put
00:27:56.360 in the background
00:27:56.920 and to have things going on
00:27:58.420 without them.
00:27:58.920 They don't want,
00:28:00.140 they can't handle that.
00:28:01.120 So that's why.
00:28:03.480 And so when you're trying
00:28:04.580 to do that,
00:28:05.180 that's when it becomes
00:28:05.820 the most challenging.
00:28:06.960 And of course,
00:28:07.700 there are times as parents
00:28:08.900 when you need to be able
00:28:10.020 to put your kids
00:28:10.640 sort of in the background
00:28:11.860 and do things
00:28:13.000 that aren't about them.
00:28:14.040 Like you need to sleep.
00:28:16.000 You need to work.
00:28:17.560 You need to sometimes
00:28:18.480 have adult conversations.
00:28:19.740 You need to spend time
00:28:21.060 with your spouse.
00:28:22.120 You need sometimes
00:28:22.780 to watch a movie
00:28:23.840 that isn't about
00:28:24.540 talking animals
00:28:25.300 or princesses.
00:28:26.660 You need all of that,
00:28:27.880 right?
00:28:28.060 You can't structure
00:28:29.940 literally every single moment
00:28:31.380 of your life
00:28:32.080 around a kid.
00:28:34.580 And when you're trying
00:28:35.620 to have those moments
00:28:36.520 that aren't about them,
00:28:37.620 that's when they can feel
00:28:38.540 especially frustrating,
00:28:39.700 especially burdensome.
00:28:41.380 But I think if you find
00:28:42.780 that your kids
00:28:43.360 are always frustrating
00:28:44.800 and always a burden
00:28:46.260 and rarely fun
00:28:48.180 and generally life destabilizing,
00:28:50.980 that's probably because
00:28:52.300 you're trying to keep them
00:28:53.780 in the background
00:28:54.720 and out of the way
00:28:55.920 pretty much all the time.
00:28:59.060 If you find no joy
00:29:00.740 in parenting at all,
00:29:01.660 it's almost certainly
00:29:02.440 because you've made
00:29:03.800 no effort
00:29:04.700 to actually focus
00:29:06.120 on your kids
00:29:06.920 and invest yourself
00:29:07.920 in them.
00:29:08.560 You're trying to live
00:29:09.760 your life
00:29:10.200 as if they don't exist.
00:29:11.780 And if you try
00:29:12.140 to live a life like that,
00:29:13.420 yes, kids will absolutely
00:29:14.840 destabilize
00:29:15.940 that kind of lifestyle.
00:29:17.180 There's no question
00:29:17.860 about it.
00:29:18.860 So,
00:29:20.100 one quick example
00:29:21.080 of this.
00:29:21.500 Right now,
00:29:22.120 one of our parenting
00:29:23.200 challenges in my house
00:29:24.160 is that my daughter,
00:29:25.800 five years old,
00:29:27.260 refuses to go to bed
00:29:28.200 at night.
00:29:28.680 Okay,
00:29:28.840 this is a very common problem.
00:29:29.980 Many parents have gone through it.
00:29:31.320 And so,
00:29:31.840 we'll put her down for bed
00:29:32.800 and then she'll find a reason
00:29:33.860 to come out of her room
00:29:34.740 and come talk to us
00:29:35.660 like nine or ten times.
00:29:36.540 She keeps coming out
00:29:37.060 of her room,
00:29:37.840 finding a reason.
00:29:38.560 She wants to tell us something.
00:29:39.680 She wants a drink of water.
00:29:40.880 She's got to go to the potty.
00:29:42.180 She's,
00:29:42.560 you know,
00:29:42.760 there are monsters under the bed.
00:29:44.200 There's this and that and this.
00:29:46.420 And so,
00:29:46.960 this gets annoying
00:29:47.640 because as a parent,
00:29:49.160 you know,
00:29:49.560 when you put your kids
00:29:50.500 down to bed,
00:29:51.640 you want to kind of
00:29:52.860 clock out,
00:29:53.760 right?
00:29:53.960 You want to punch the time card,
00:29:55.940 clock out,
00:29:56.920 parenting is done for the day.
00:29:58.340 Now you're going to relax,
00:29:59.300 read a book,
00:29:59.780 watch a TV show,
00:30:00.920 spend time with your spouse.
00:30:02.840 You don't want to parent anymore.
00:30:04.240 You want to be done
00:30:04.720 with the parenting for the day,
00:30:05.860 right?
00:30:06.100 When you put the kid down.
00:30:07.220 And when they keep coming out
00:30:08.600 and talking to you
00:30:09.440 and asking questions
00:30:10.240 and wanting things,
00:30:11.580 it just,
00:30:12.680 it's way more annoying
00:30:14.880 than it would be
00:30:15.840 at any other time of the day
00:30:17.160 because in your mind,
00:30:18.780 you're saying,
00:30:19.060 no,
00:30:19.260 this is supposed to be me time.
00:30:20.500 This is not you time.
00:30:21.300 This is me time.
00:30:22.060 And now you're intruding
00:30:22.980 on me time.
00:30:24.180 And so,
00:30:24.800 even a really basic question
00:30:27.080 or need that you have
00:30:28.560 is going to be
00:30:29.120 10 times more annoying
00:30:30.180 because this is me time.
00:30:33.040 So,
00:30:33.480 here's what I found.
00:30:37.460 I found that just
00:30:38.440 a little bit of patience
00:30:39.340 and I'm not saying
00:30:39.940 that I'm great with patience.
00:30:41.140 Okay?
00:30:41.340 I'm not a very patient person.
00:30:42.740 I've had to work on this.
00:30:43.940 I've been forced to work on it
00:30:45.100 and I've not mastered it at all.
00:30:46.680 But,
00:30:47.760 a little bit of patience
00:30:49.040 just a little patience
00:30:50.300 with kids
00:30:51.940 and suddenly
00:30:52.500 this challenge
00:30:53.440 really becomes
00:30:54.200 not a big deal.
00:30:55.000 If you can just man it,
00:30:55.840 a little patience.
00:30:57.540 I'd say like 90%
00:30:58.740 of the problems
00:30:59.660 that parents whine about
00:31:00.880 and that I whine about too sometimes,
00:31:02.720 just a little patience
00:31:03.880 would solve that problem
00:31:05.880 or at least make it
00:31:06.980 so it doesn't seem
00:31:07.960 like as big of a problem.
00:31:09.560 A little bit of patience.
00:31:11.320 So,
00:31:11.580 first of all,
00:31:12.020 I realized that honestly
00:31:12.960 it's not that big of a deal
00:31:14.600 if she comes out of a room
00:31:15.660 and says something
00:31:16.220 and then goes back
00:31:16.720 into a room.
00:31:17.160 It's really not
00:31:17.960 that huge of a deal.
00:31:19.860 Also,
00:31:20.440 again,
00:31:20.760 with a little bit of patience,
00:31:21.760 I discovered that,
00:31:23.060 okay,
00:31:23.920 part of the reason
00:31:24.840 why this is happening
00:31:25.900 is because she has trouble
00:31:26.640 sleeping at night,
00:31:27.940 which means she's a lot like me.
00:31:29.260 I'm kind of a night owl as well
00:31:30.500 and she has very specific needs
00:31:32.880 for sleeping.
00:31:33.540 We discovered
00:31:34.060 she needs it to be very dark.
00:31:35.720 She needs it to be cold.
00:31:36.700 She needs to be wearing
00:31:37.340 certain pajamas.
00:31:38.180 She needs a fan on
00:31:38.940 for the noise.
00:31:40.400 You know,
00:31:40.600 all these.
00:31:41.000 So we just,
00:31:41.600 you know,
00:31:41.880 over time we discovered
00:31:43.080 and now we do that
00:31:44.900 and we put her down for bed
00:31:46.420 and so it's less of a problem.
00:31:47.720 Now,
00:31:47.780 she still comes out
00:31:48.480 but it's less of a problem.
00:31:50.500 And how much of a problem
00:31:51.520 was it really
00:31:52.280 in the first place
00:31:53.080 is the question.
00:31:54.020 And that's the thing
00:31:54.640 about having young kids
00:31:55.720 is that I realize
00:31:56.620 that even the things
00:31:57.540 that are super annoying
00:31:58.580 and frustrating now,
00:32:01.240 I realize,
00:32:02.500 and parents with older kids,
00:32:04.180 they say this all the time
00:32:05.100 and I know that
00:32:06.140 even though I haven't
00:32:07.020 experienced it,
00:32:07.720 I know that what they're
00:32:08.500 saying is true.
00:32:10.140 That even these things
00:32:11.060 that are annoying
00:32:11.680 and frustrating now,
00:32:13.020 when my kids are older,
00:32:14.100 I will miss almost all of it.
00:32:15.760 I know that I will.
00:32:16.940 I'll probably miss it terribly.
00:32:18.380 I mean,
00:32:18.940 there will come a time
00:32:19.880 when my daughter
00:32:20.500 is not going to come
00:32:21.400 out of her room
00:32:22.060 and ask me to carry her
00:32:23.640 back down to her room
00:32:24.760 and tuck her in.
00:32:25.700 Like,
00:32:25.840 that's going to,
00:32:26.360 the time's going to come
00:32:27.240 when she has no interest
00:32:28.640 in that.
00:32:29.740 And that's going to be,
00:32:31.700 it's going to be sad
00:32:32.500 when that phase is gone
00:32:33.640 and over.
00:32:35.240 So part of this
00:32:36.180 with parenting,
00:32:36.780 I think,
00:32:37.200 is just,
00:32:37.880 you know,
00:32:40.240 it's just choosing
00:32:41.120 how to think
00:32:43.420 about these sorts
00:32:45.480 of things.
00:32:47.360 There are some
00:32:48.160 parenting challenges
00:32:49.020 which are really
00:32:49.780 just difficulties
00:32:50.720 and hardships
00:32:51.680 and so all you can do
00:32:52.800 is get through them.
00:32:53.600 There's no,
00:32:54.160 you know,
00:32:54.840 there's no way around it.
00:32:55.960 There's no rethinking it.
00:32:56.960 There's no thinking
00:32:57.480 of it differently.
00:32:58.780 There are some things
00:32:59.600 you go through as a parent
00:33:00.300 that you definitely
00:33:00.820 will not miss,
00:33:01.660 right?
00:33:01.940 But,
00:33:02.740 like,
00:33:05.340 not getting any sleep
00:33:06.340 when you have a newborn.
00:33:07.120 That's one of the,
00:33:07.580 you're never going to miss that.
00:33:09.000 That's just,
00:33:09.500 that's just a hard thing.
00:33:11.120 But a lot of the stuff,
00:33:13.260 if we just thought
00:33:14.700 of it differently,
00:33:15.360 we would see it
00:33:16.120 as a blessing,
00:33:17.580 as an opportunity
00:33:19.300 for joy
00:33:20.740 and for fun.
00:33:23.200 G.K. Chesterton
00:33:23.920 said that
00:33:24.660 an inconvenience
00:33:26.720 is just
00:33:27.360 an adventure
00:33:28.240 wrongly considered.
00:33:29.400 And I think that
00:33:29.900 that's true
00:33:30.600 for a lot of parenting.
00:33:32.660 Parenting,
00:33:33.140 that kind of sums up
00:33:33.860 a lot of what parenting is.
00:33:35.720 David Foster Wallace,
00:33:37.260 in a famous
00:33:37.860 commencement speech,
00:33:38.640 he gave
00:33:39.160 talks about
00:33:42.100 how many
00:33:43.160 of the situations
00:33:43.780 that we find
00:33:44.340 annoying
00:33:44.740 and difficult
00:33:46.180 in life,
00:33:47.380 he wasn't talking
00:33:48.080 about parenting,
00:33:48.720 but it goes for parenting too,
00:33:49.940 that many of those situations,
00:33:51.280 if we just thought
00:33:52.120 about them differently,
00:33:53.580 had a different
00:33:54.360 attitude about them,
00:33:55.960 we would suddenly
00:33:56.960 see the,
00:33:57.600 and this is the,
00:33:58.100 these are the words
00:33:58.580 he used,
00:33:59.400 we would see these
00:34:00.100 moments as not only
00:34:01.520 meaningful but sacred.
00:34:02.820 And I think he's
00:34:04.600 right about that.
00:34:05.880 So I'm not saying
00:34:06.840 that we should be
00:34:07.240 focused 100%
00:34:08.020 on our kids
00:34:08.540 all the time,
00:34:09.420 you know,
00:34:09.700 they need to know
00:34:10.360 the world doesn't
00:34:11.100 revolve around them too,
00:34:12.100 but it also doesn't
00:34:13.660 revolve around us
00:34:14.420 as parents.
00:34:15.640 And when I hear
00:34:16.420 from guys like
00:34:17.220 Duncan Jones,
00:34:18.180 what it sounds like
00:34:19.460 is he wants the world
00:34:21.600 to revolve around him.
00:34:23.700 And kids,
00:34:24.580 they really do think
00:34:25.680 the world revolves
00:34:26.460 around them,
00:34:27.080 but they have an excuse
00:34:27.940 to feel that.
00:34:28.640 A two-year-old thinks that,
00:34:30.020 there's no way
00:34:30.540 a two-year-old isn't
00:34:31.360 going to think that
00:34:32.000 because they have no
00:34:32.620 concept of the world
00:34:34.280 outside of themselves.
00:34:35.840 So they're allowed
00:34:36.800 to think that way.
00:34:38.980 You're not,
00:34:39.680 you're an adult,
00:34:40.120 you should know better.
00:34:43.120 And here's the thing,
00:34:44.500 there's not enough
00:34:45.960 room in the house
00:34:46.820 for all of us
00:34:48.600 to be kids.
00:34:50.360 Like,
00:34:50.660 someone's got to be
00:34:51.400 the adult
00:34:51.960 in the situation.
00:34:54.660 Sometimes as an adult,
00:34:55.700 we have to,
00:34:56.040 you know,
00:34:56.400 that doesn't mean,
00:34:57.860 we can have fun
00:34:59.160 acting like kids
00:34:59.940 with our kids sometimes,
00:35:00.920 having fun with them,
00:35:01.540 but what I mean is,
00:35:02.480 we can't have the attitude
00:35:03.540 and the maturity
00:35:04.320 of children.
00:35:06.580 Someone's got to be
00:35:07.240 an adult.
00:35:12.800 Finally,
00:35:13.880 let's see,
00:35:14.200 do we have time for this?
00:35:14.860 I guess so.
00:35:16.480 Yeah,
00:35:16.860 I just wanted to mention this.
00:35:18.420 Yesterday,
00:35:18.900 Donald Trump
00:35:19.540 had the Clemson
00:35:21.340 football team
00:35:21.980 over to the White House,
00:35:23.420 but he couldn't get
00:35:26.240 the normal catering service
00:35:27.560 because of the shutdown.
00:35:28.500 So he provided
00:35:29.520 this gorgeous,
00:35:30.720 classy spread
00:35:32.560 of McDonald's food.
00:35:33.740 I don't know
00:35:33.900 if you saw this picture.
00:35:34.760 Take a look at the picture
00:35:35.600 of the feast right now.
00:35:37.780 Now,
00:35:38.400 of course,
00:35:39.480 people found a reason
00:35:40.180 to be upset about this.
00:35:41.220 I mean,
00:35:41.340 he's got these silver platters
00:35:42.720 filled with Big Macs
00:35:44.420 and fish fillets
00:35:46.400 and french fries
00:35:47.280 and chicken nuggets.
00:35:48.140 Apparently,
00:35:48.560 there was pizza too.
00:35:50.040 He provided Burger King
00:35:51.420 as well,
00:35:51.820 in case you were
00:35:52.220 a Burger King guy,
00:35:52.940 not a McDonald's guy.
00:35:53.740 People found a reason
00:35:55.660 to be upset about it
00:35:56.420 because they always
00:35:58.020 find a reason,
00:35:58.580 especially as it pertains
00:35:59.340 to Donald Trump.
00:36:00.360 But really,
00:36:00.840 I mean,
00:36:02.020 first of all,
00:36:02.940 I have long suggested
00:36:04.500 that McDonald's
00:36:06.300 should have a buffet restaurant.
00:36:07.820 There should be
00:36:08.620 McBuffets
00:36:09.500 and they should look
00:36:11.080 exactly like this feast.
00:36:13.940 So people have always
00:36:14.800 called me crazy,
00:36:15.620 but now you can look at this
00:36:16.920 and now you see
00:36:17.440 what I'm saying, right?
00:36:18.200 I mean,
00:36:18.420 that would be great.
00:36:19.700 It'd be a great,
00:36:20.600 and I'm talking about
00:36:21.240 a fancy,
00:36:21.780 like what Donald Trump did,
00:36:22.860 a fancy McBuffet
00:36:25.380 so that you could go there
00:36:27.300 for your wedding anniversary
00:36:28.240 or, you know,
00:36:29.380 a first date.
00:36:30.020 You really want to impress a girl,
00:36:31.400 bring her to the McDonald's buffet
00:36:32.600 and you could say to her,
00:36:34.020 hey,
00:36:34.140 have two Big Macs if you want.
00:36:37.900 But secondly,
00:36:39.940 what man,
00:36:41.880 what football player,
00:36:42.760 what American
00:36:43.780 wouldn't love
00:36:45.320 to be presented
00:36:45.960 with a silver platter
00:36:47.220 filled with Big Mac
00:36:48.380 and fish fillets?
00:36:50.560 I mean,
00:36:50.840 anyone would love that.
00:36:52.860 I have,
00:36:54.200 in my time,
00:36:55.020 been to many
00:36:55.920 fancy banquet
00:36:57.300 type things,
00:36:59.380 and I've had a lot
00:37:00.440 of fancy banquet food,
00:37:02.960 and I can't think
00:37:04.680 of a single one
00:37:05.480 of those events
00:37:06.180 that would not have been
00:37:07.600 vastly improved
00:37:08.820 by Big Macs.
00:37:11.600 I actually think that
00:37:12.980 the typical fancy banquet food
00:37:14.740 is usually
00:37:15.900 really disappointing.
00:37:17.360 The chicken tastes like rubber,
00:37:19.240 the beef is always overcooked,
00:37:20.620 they get way too fancy,
00:37:22.860 they try way too hard,
00:37:24.240 portions aren't big enough,
00:37:25.860 I would just take a Big Mac.
00:37:27.140 So,
00:37:27.840 I actually think,
00:37:29.220 in all seriousness,
00:37:30.840 this is,
00:37:31.580 although the left
00:37:32.100 is making fun of him for it,
00:37:33.020 of course,
00:37:33.640 I think this is probably
00:37:34.340 the most endearing thing
00:37:35.480 that Trump has ever done.
00:37:37.400 And if
00:37:38.140 I ever went to visit
00:37:39.660 Donald Trump
00:37:41.200 for some sort of
00:37:43.140 fancy lunch
00:37:43.780 and McDonald's
00:37:45.480 was not served,
00:37:46.280 I would be
00:37:46.840 thoroughly disappointed.
00:37:47.820 This is exactly
00:37:48.660 what I would expect
00:37:49.320 and I would be thrilled
00:37:50.060 by it.
00:37:51.680 All right,
00:37:52.120 we'll leave it there.
00:37:52.800 Have a great day,
00:37:54.180 everybody.
00:37:54.460 We'll talk to you tomorrow.
00:37:55.320 Godspeed.
00:37:55.680 Hey, everybody.
00:38:02.880 It's Andrew Klavan,
00:38:03.600 host of
00:38:04.160 The Andrew Klavan Show.
00:38:05.580 Republican Congressman
00:38:06.400 Steve King
00:38:07.360 has been stripped
00:38:08.240 of all his
00:38:09.320 committee assignments
00:38:10.380 for comments he made
00:38:11.840 about white supremacy.
00:38:13.000 If he meant it,
00:38:14.120 he deserves
00:38:14.740 every bit of it.
00:38:15.820 But that doesn't
00:38:16.480 stop the left
00:38:17.300 from using
00:38:18.160 the charge of racism
00:38:19.200 to condemn
00:38:20.280 all conservatives
00:38:21.300 and all Republicans.
00:38:23.020 They're at it again.
00:38:24.480 I'm Andrew Klavan.
00:38:25.240 It's The Andrew Klavan Show.