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The Matt Walsh Show
- October 29, 2019
Ep. 359 - The Commie Generation
Episode Stats
Length
49 minutes
Words per Minute
178.21198
Word Count
8,747
Sentence Count
514
Misogynist Sentences
10
Hate Speech Sentences
17
Summary
Summaries are generated with
gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ
.
Transcript
Transcript is generated with
Whisper
(
turbo
).
Misogyny classification is done with
MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny
.
Hate speech classification is done with
facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target
.
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Welcome to the show, everybody. Glad to have you here, especially on this day, which is a special
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day around here in my house. It's my eighth wedding anniversary. Eight years of marriage
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may not be that much, you know, objectively in the grand scheme of things, but by modern standards,
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anyway, we have officially entered old married couple status, which I'm very excited about.
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And thinking back to that day eight years ago, you know, a lot of joy and hope and promise,
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except the only problem is that there was a torrential downpour on the day of our wedding
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we were getting married on the beach, not on the beach physically. We're not hippies. We were in
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a church, for God's sake, like civilized people, but a church at the beach. And so the downpour was
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flooding roads and everything. And, you know, it was messing up my wife's hair and her makeup and
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my hair and makeup because we're a progressive couple. But the real problem, and anyone who's
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gotten married in the last 25 years on a rainy day knows what I'm about to say. The real problem is
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the nonstop Alanis Morissette jokes that just went on for the entire day. And every person who walked
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into the church, of course, they're coming out, they're shaking off their, you know, jacket and
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they've got the umbrella. And then they walk into the church and every single person goes, uh, well,
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this is ironic. And then they look around ironic. It's like the Alanis Morissette joke. Yeah. Pop
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culture reference. Uh, and it's like, as if they're the first person to make the joke, which is even more
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annoying because no rain on a wedding day, of course, as many people have corrected this,
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that is not ironic. It's inconvenient. It's a hassle. It's not ironic. Neither is finding 10,000
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spoons when you're looking for a knife in your kitchen. That's just a sign that somebody in your
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house is a degenerate spoon hoarder. It doesn't mean that it's ironic in any way. In any case,
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happy anniversary to my wife. Um, what I, uh, what I, and to myself, I suppose, what I want to begin
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with today is a new survey showing that one in three millennials have a favorable view of communism.
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Um, and, and this is not the only survey of this type that's been done and found results like this.
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And it's very, I think legitimately terrifying to think that communism is becoming so popular. I want
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to talk about that and why it is that my generation finds communism appealing. Also two Indian American
00:02:16.680
kids attacked and assaulted a group of black girls in New Jersey, but the New York times knows what is
00:02:25.280
really to blame for this assault, white supremacy. I'm not kidding. And, uh, and also today speaking of
00:02:32.200
my wedding anniversary in honor of that occasion, I wanted to talk about the pieces of marriage advice,
00:02:37.260
the common cliched pieces of marriage advice, supposed marriage wisdom that I have found in my
00:02:44.320
experience so far to be completely and totally off base. So we'll talk about that as well. Um,
00:02:50.260
today, but first a word from ancestry DNA, ancestry DNA gives you so much more than just the places
00:02:56.920
that you're from. Ancestry connects you to the places in the world where your story started using
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precise geographic detail and clear cut historical insights. You can even trace your ancestors journey
00:03:07.400
over time, uh, following, you know, following where they move from place to place. And it just,
00:03:12.860
it tells you, uh, about yourself. I think this is, this is something that in modern society,
00:03:18.520
we've kind of lost this sense of being connected to our ancestors in our past. I think in, in, in times
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past, they wouldn't have had ancestry. Um, they wouldn't have had the service of ancestry doing,
00:03:29.760
doing DNA tests and everything, but they also wouldn't have needed it as much because they had
00:03:33.660
this connection to their past through the oral history and stories that were passed on. We don't have
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that. So this is where ancestry day DNA comes in and to amplify, amplify your results. You can start
00:03:43.960
a free trial on ancestry and build a tree. So your ancestors become more to you than just a name.
00:03:49.640
They've combined DNA results, um, with over a hundred million family trees and billions of records to
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give you more insight into your genealogy and your origins. I have sent in my, uh, uh, my packet with,
00:04:03.720
from, from, from ancestry. I'm looking forward to finding out what I'm all about, what exactly had
00:04:09.660
to happen to make me occur. Who is to blame for this is what I really want to find out. And that's
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what I'm going to find out from ancestry. Um, go to ancestry.com slash Matt today for 20% off your
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ancestry DNA kit. That's ancestry.com slash Matt for 20% off your ancestry DNA kit, ancestry.com slash Matt.
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Before we get to the communism thing. I also, I forgot about this, a priest in South Carolina,
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I would be, I couldn't do the show without mentioning a priest in South Carolina reportedly
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refused communion to, um, quote unquote, Catholic Joe Biden. Father Robert Morey says that he didn't
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give Biden communion because Biden, among other things, openly advocates for abortion, um, for the
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grave sin, uh, known as abortion. Now I just wanted to, I, I want to say congratulations to this brave
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priest for being one of the few with the guts to actually enforce the rule and uphold the teaching
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as it pertains to this and protecting the dignity of the sacrament and the church. And not to mention
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Joe Biden's own soul. He needs this kind of correction for the sake of his own soul. So this was an act
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of courage and also mercy, I think for Joe Biden. Um, now for those who aren't familiar, the Catholics
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have the doctrine of the real presence in the Eucharist, which is the belief that Christ is really present,
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as, uh, as, as it would seem to indicate really present in the Eucharist. As he said at the last
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supper, this is my body, do this in remembrance of me, not this symbolizes my body, but this is my
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body. Do this in remembrance of me. That's where the teaching come from comes from. So people who are
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in grave sin or in a state of sin in that way are not supposed to receive communion until they have
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repented of that sin. The Catholic church has always taught that abortion is a grave sin and those
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who advocate openly advocate for it, promote it, fund it, facilitate in it, facilitate it. They are
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guilty of, um, not only participating in this sin, but also they're guilty of the sin of scandal. And
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by that we mean, we don't mean scandal in the political sense. We mean scandal in, in the sense
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that they are, um, you know, you know, encouraging others to fall into sin in this case, explicitly openly
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encouraging others. So, uh, pro-abortion politicians for that reason are supposed to be refused
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communion. It's just that it rarely happens because priests rarely have the guts to stand
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up to them. Also because pro-abortion politicians rarely go to church in the first place. So to have
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the opportunity to have communion refused of them. Um, but when they do go, usually, uh, it is
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disgraceful to note, but usually they'll get communion and no one withholds it. In this case,
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it was withheld. And so I say good for this priest. Okay. So that's the good news for today. Uh, on to
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some of the bad news, the victims of communism Memorial foundation conducts these yearly studies
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to see how people's attitudes towards communism are changing over time. And the results of this year's
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study, this year's study are truly horrifying. I think reading now from the organization's report,
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here are what they call the key takeaways. Some of the key takeaways. Anyway, I'm, uh,
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cherry picking a few of these here that are of special interest. It says, uh, capitalism is still
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viewed more favorably than other economic systems, holding relatively steady at 61% favorability from
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2018. Now that's 61% overall. To me, that's pretty low. Only 61% of Americans, according to this study,
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are really in favor of capitalism. However, favorability of capitalism is lower among generation Z and
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millennials at only around 50% down six points and eight points from 2018, respectively. Communism is
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viewed favorably by more than one in three millennials, 36% up eight points from 2018 communism by 36% of
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millennials. This, I hate to remind you, this is the generation that's taking over the country. Um,
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they are inheriting the reins of power. When I say they, I mean, we, and 36% of us are in favor of
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communism. 15% of millennials think the world would be better off if the Soviet union still existed.
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A majority of Americans aged 35 and under trust themselves more than the community. Um, but that's
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okay. So 35 and under majority trust themselves, 66% trust themselves more than the community or the
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government. Um, but that means that 34% trust the community or the government more than they trust
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themselves. Think about that. Um, while 50% of millennials say they are somewhat likely and 20%
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of millennials say they are extremely likely to vote for a socialist candidate doubling from 10% in 2018,
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Americans overall are more hesitant about voting for a Democrat socialist than they were last year.
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45% of generation Z and millennials believe that, okay, well, obviously naturally 45% believe that,
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um, all higher education should be free on that one. I'm actually surprised it's not higher 45%.
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Um, although I think the number is trending in the upward direction. Now this is all quite wrong.
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Of course, I don't mean that the findings of the study are wrong. I think the findings line up with
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what you would expect. They ring true to me, even though they're horrifying. I mean, they're wrong in
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that the opinions held by many millennials with respect to this issue and with respect to almost every
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other issue you can think of are wrong. It might be too much to ask given that people don't like to
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read anymore, especially read long books. But if everyone would just read the first volume,
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I've recommended this book a million times. If you would just read the first volume of Solzhenistin's,
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um, uh, Gulag Archipelago, he wrote a three volume work talking about his own experience in the Gulag,
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the Soviet Gulag. But also he kind of weaves that into the overall history of the Gulag system
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in the Soviet union. It's a fascinating book. I've read the first two volumes. I haven't read the third
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volume yet. Um, but it'd be great to read all of them. If you could only read one, just read the
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first volume. And I, there's no way that you could read that book and come away from it. Still thinking
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that a socialist or communist system is a good idea. I just, there's no way you could do it. Um,
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um, the, these are systems where freedom, liberty, self-expression, self-determination,
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human flourishing, human well-being are not relevant. They, they, they simply don't factor
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in. Now, the fact that communist governments promise to take care of everybody and make sure
00:11:00.320
that, uh, and make sure that everyone's needs are provided for and then fail always every single
00:11:06.220
time to follow through on that promise is almost beside the point. Because what happens when we have
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this conversation is people say, well, look at the bread lines in Venezuela or the empty grocery
00:11:17.080
shelves. Uh, and this is supposed to prove the faults of this kind of system. But even though
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it's true that that does indicate serious problems with the social system, I think that's the wrong
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approach. Just observing all the bad things that have happened under communist and socialist governments
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is not enough clearly. Now, when I recommended the Gulag archipelago, it's not because it chronicles
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all the bad stuff, which it does and does so powerfully and poignantly. The, the real powerful
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thing about the book, I think, is how it exposes the philosophical flaws with this system. And that's
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what we need to focus on communicating is the philosophical problem with it. We need to focus on why it's a
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bad idea, not just why it's bad in practice, not just why, not, not, not just the practical problems,
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even if they are significant practical problems, such as mass starvation is a practical problem,
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pretty significant one I would think. But that clearly has not been, even if it should be enough
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for people to be convinced, it's not enough. And the reason is there's always a defense mechanism
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that's that, that, that, that, you know, this defense mechanism has been built up and it's a pretty
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effective mechanism. And that mechanism, that strategy is the classic move of saying, well,
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hey, communism is a great idea, but it's just that it's usually not done right. And when you point
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to an example of a communist or socialist regime, Venezuela, China, Soviet union, wherever, that where
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there's been horrific results, you could always say, well, that's not real communism or that's not real
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socialism. Or there's the more skeptical sounding version of this, where somebody says, communism is
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great in theory, just bad in practice. That no, it's bad in theory. Um, and the reason why it's
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always bad in practice is because it's bad in theory. And so we need to talk about that theory.
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Here's, here's the other thing that people need to understand about millennials. And I guess,
00:13:29.720
gen generation Z, uh, I don't know anything about those people. Uh, but even though I guess my kids
00:13:36.780
are in that group, I don't know, but here, here's what I think some people miss about millennials,
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the arguments, and not just with, with this issue, with, with economics, but with any issue,
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the art, the arguments that really speak to millennials are going to be philosophical,
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moral arguments, which in some ways I would say is a credit to my generation that we're a little bit
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less focused on the practical implications of things, which there's a downside to that, which we're
00:14:14.360
seeing, but they're a little less focused on that and a little more focused on the moral argument.
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Like what, what's the right thing to do? Okay. Um, and this, this is a fact about millennials that
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everyone seems to miss. How can you miss it? And so this is why the messaging by conservatives to
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millennials has so often fails because when you start talking about the practical stuff of, oh, you know,
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you want a job, you want this, that's no, that's not, that's not how you're going to speak to them.
00:14:46.740
Notice, notice what Bernie Sanders does, what Elizabeth Warren does, what all the Democrats do,
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especially when it comes to economic stuff. Um, much to the frustration of conservatives,
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they're not making practical arguments. They're not explaining how their plans are actually going to
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work because the plans aren't going to work. But from a messaging standpoint, it doesn't matter
00:15:13.240
because instead what they're doing is they're saying, this is just the right thing. It's the
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right thing to do. And they're making that moral argument. It's a bad moral argument, but it is a
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moral argument and a philosophical argument. So I think here's, here's what it comes down to.
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The, the, the fundamental questions that pertain to this. What is the point of living? What are we
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supposed to get out of life? What's the function of a person? What, what are people for to quote a
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Wendell Berry essay? Yes. The theory of communism is to care for and provide for everyone equally.
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It never works out that way, but nevermind that for a minute. Let's just talk about the theory.
00:16:05.800
The problem is that's not what people are for. That is not the most moral system, even if it worked,
00:16:15.440
which it doesn't, because we are not as people, just like pigs in a pen where you give us food and
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maybe a clean out the pen every once in a while. And then you leave us to muck around in the mud in
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our, in our little safe confines. That's not what, how people work. We are human beings thinking,
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striving, dreaming, rational creatures, which means in order for us to actually be happy,
00:16:41.900
in order for us to really be fulfilled, in order for us to flourish, we need the liberty to act on our
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own, make our own, make our own decisions, express our own views, work towards our own goals,
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care for ourselves. This isn't to say the community is unimportant. It just means that
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we are communities of humans, not of ants or bees. And, and communism is great for ants and bees
00:17:09.420
because it emphasizes the community completely at the expense of the individual, where the individual
00:17:20.680
basically doesn't exist and doesn't matter. That doesn't work. For, for, for creatures that
00:17:27.080
literally have hive minds, that's great. For human beings, it's not so great. And I think that has to
00:17:34.780
be our message. The reason why communism is so appealing to younger people is that, as I've
00:17:41.480
argued, there's way too much focus on the practical pitfalls of communism, which, which leaves open this
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idea that in theory, it's great. And someone just has to figure out how to make it work because it's
00:17:54.100
the most moral system. And it's a system that's going to make people the happiest. And so we should do it
00:17:58.720
if we could. And also because before even making the point that communism destroys liberty,
00:18:08.240
which is the main point, the real reason to oppose it. But before even getting there, people need
00:18:14.920
first to actually desire liberty and freedom. And, and herein lies, I think the real problem. A lot of
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younger people today just don't have that desire for liberty, for freedom, for independence, because it
00:18:25.500
hasn't been instilled in them. And that's what we need to work on getting people to understand,
00:18:29.700
especially young people, why freedom is a beautiful and necessary thing, and something that will
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ultimately make them happy and fulfilled, and why it is the most moral thing. You know, why it is better
00:18:40.960
to have a system where people are free, and they have self-determination, even if you have things like
00:18:47.480
poverty, and so on. You know, I, I, I knew we had a problem when I started seeing, when it comes to
00:18:56.980
this, you know, you started seeing these reports in the last few years about how kids are driving
00:19:03.240
at later and later ages. They're putting off getting their licenses because they're content to
00:19:09.480
be chauffeured around by their parents. And it's a small thing, but it's illustrative because it used to
00:19:14.300
be that kids couldn't wait to get their licenses, right? Because they, they wanted to be able to
00:19:18.080
get out on their own, hit the open road, have some independence, have some autonomy. Um, I remember
00:19:23.160
I was so excited to get my license and I, I just, the, the idea of being able to get in my car and go
00:19:29.420
run an errand or something, even, even something as simple as that, but just if I, if I needed something
00:19:34.660
from the store, if I needed to go, that I could just get in the car and go do it myself without,
00:19:39.580
without having to depend on anybody. That to me, I couldn't wait to do that.
00:19:44.300
I was so excited to run my first errand as an adult. Um, but that's, that's something that
00:19:53.800
kids today, that's a desire. They don't seem to have quite as much, you know, and in a similar way,
00:20:01.500
it used to be that you'd be excited to leave your home once you were old enough and live on your own,
00:20:05.860
get out on your own. Even if you end up living in some dingy apartment or whatever, even if your
00:20:09.620
living conditions are downgraded in some respects from what you had at your parents' place, you loved
00:20:15.680
it because it was yours. It was your space. You could do what you wanted. It was your thing. You
00:20:19.980
were basically free to live as you wanted. Um, but younger people don't desire that anymore either,
00:20:25.600
which continues to be shocking to me. Just, I can't, I can't wrap my head around that mentality
00:20:31.660
because I wanted to move out when I was 16, not because I had a miserable home life,
00:20:35.800
but just because I wanted to be on my own. I was just, I was just tired of, of, I wanted to do my
00:20:40.580
own thing, but now you've got 26 year olds who don't really have that desire. They don't, they
00:20:46.680
don't really want to do their own thing. Um, so, uh, it's, and, and again, with, with, with something
00:20:57.060
like that, if you want to make an argument to people that, Hey, you know, you should get your
00:21:03.600
license and you should move out of the house and live on your own. I think it's important to have
00:21:09.500
the younger generation doing that and learning how to live independently and learning that independence
00:21:15.080
is a good thing. But if you're going to make that argument, once again, you can't really make it on
00:21:23.360
practical grounds because in a way, as opposed to with something like communism, the, uh, the, the,
00:21:32.600
the very sort of localized communism of a, of an adult that still lives at home with his parents
00:21:38.860
and is taken care of by the government of the house, which would be their parents. That does
00:21:43.360
make it a practical way. I mean, that does make some practical sense because you're saving money
00:21:48.080
and all of that. So in a way, practically speaking, yeah, I can see why you would do it,
00:21:53.760
but there's more of a philosophical argument. It's a philosophical argument for why, even though
00:21:59.780
it makes practical sense, you still shouldn't do it because it's, it's not, because that's not how
00:22:04.600
you are going to flourish as a human being. You'll be more comfortable that way, but you're not going
00:22:10.440
to be happiest. You're not going to flourish. You're not going to become yourself, figure out who
00:22:15.160
you are, come of age, mature. None of that's going to happen if you're still depending on your parents.
00:22:21.480
So I think these are the kinds of arguments we make. And, and, um, if we start doing this,
00:22:29.220
and I think that's how we get people to abandon this idea that communism is the way to go.
00:22:35.820
All right. Um, well, we've been dumping on the Washington post for, uh, mourning the death of the
00:22:42.620
great mass murdering serial rapist scholar, Al Bagdadi. But I think the New York times deserves,
00:22:48.540
as always a share of the ridicule this week. I, we should, if we're making fun of the media,
00:22:52.780
we should always include the New York times because they're always giving us more and more
00:22:55.520
reasons to make fun of them. I point now to an article, an op-ed published a couple of days ago,
00:22:59.800
which no matter how cynical you are about the media, you might not even believe this is real.
00:23:05.560
You're, you'll probably, you're probably going to look this up and Google it to see if it actually
00:23:09.840
exists, which I encourage you to do, but it is real. It does exist. It's by, uh, Nell Irvin painter.
00:23:15.360
And it's a, an op-ed about an assault on a group of black girls by two Indian boys,
00:23:21.380
Indian American boys, but painter knows who is really to blame for this white people.
00:23:28.660
So listen to this. Um, she says in the pages of the New York times, two 17 year old boys accused
00:23:35.960
of harassing four African American middle school, uh, middle school girls using racial slurs and
00:23:41.000
urinating on one of the victims are facing charges, including bias, intimidation, and lewdness.
00:23:45.380
The incident, which took place during an October 18th high school football game, the New Jersey
00:23:49.320
suburb of Lawrence township, and was partly captured on video that circulated on social media
00:23:52.900
involves a cast of characters that have given some observers pause. Police say the boys are of Indian
00:23:58.560
descent. While it's tempting to see the reported ethnicity of the boys suspected in the assault as
00:24:04.080
complicating the story and raising questions about whether the assault should be thought of as
00:24:07.860
racist. I look at it through a different lens. Instead of asking what, let me just stop here
00:24:13.960
actually for one second. It actually doesn't complicate the story at all. And it doesn't
00:24:18.540
raise questions about whether or not it's racist. There's nothing to for, for, for those, for
00:24:24.620
rational people to see a non-white person acting in a bigoted way to another non-white person.
00:24:34.260
That's not complicated. That doesn't raise questions of whether it's racist.
00:24:38.380
It's very uncomplicated. That's racist. Because as rational people, we understand that racism
00:24:44.940
obviously exists among all people, not just white people.
00:24:49.120
But, um, the author here doesn't seem to agree. So, uh, she says, instead of asking what the
00:24:56.080
boys reported racial identity tells us about the nature of the attack, we should see the boys as
00:25:00.480
enact, listen, listen carefully, Liz. We should see the boys as enacting American whiteness through
00:25:10.460
anti-black assault in a very traditional way. In doing so, the assailants are demonstrating how race
00:25:18.260
is a social construct that people make through their actions. They show race in the making and
00:25:23.780
show how race is something we perform, not just something we are in our blood or in the color of
00:25:28.600
our skin. Enacting whiteness. By assaulting someone, no matter what race you are, you are enacting
00:25:39.020
whiteness. Why? Well, because white people are the only ones who are racist. But you see the circular
00:25:46.120
logic here. Uh, you know, uh, when, when a non white person assaults another non white person,
00:25:54.380
uh, that has to be racist. Why? Because white people are the only ones who are racist.
00:26:01.320
So you see how the, the, the circle goes.
00:26:06.520
Every, every racist incident is by a white person or white people are to blame for it.
00:26:11.300
And so when you have a racist incident that doesn't involve white people, well, no, it,
00:26:16.260
it, but still involve white people because white people only wants to be racist. And we just go
00:26:19.960
around and around in that circle of logic, um, or anti-logic, I guess we should call it.
00:26:25.680
Uh, let's see. She could, should we read any more of this? At first blush, the reported assault sounds
00:26:29.440
nauseatingly familiar, like the run of the mill American racial harassment that has been always been
00:26:33.940
in common. Um, but has become increasingly revealed. Thanks to videos shared on social media,
00:26:38.180
the boy's actions resemble those of people who feel empowered to act out the resentment against
00:26:42.520
non white people who are deemed out of place, confronting them with hostility or slurs or
00:26:46.480
calling the police. The people patrolling what they see as their spaces are often, but not always
00:26:51.180
white. The Yale sociologist, Elijah Anderson calls areas that are policed in this way, the white space,
00:26:57.840
even though the spaces in question are officially public. So just to understand what's happening here.
00:27:02.080
When someone is assaults or abuses another person in a space, the person who is doing the assaulting
00:27:15.960
and abusing is defending the white space, even if they're not white, they have now become, I don't
00:27:23.140
know if it's a Manchurian candidate kind of thing where we as white people have brainwashed them to
00:27:28.580
enforce our space, whatever that is. There's someone in the white space, get them. I don't know if
00:27:34.340
they imagine that we're, you know, we're whispering that into a microphone or something, you know, a chip
00:27:39.820
implanted in their ear and they're following our orders, hypnotized. I don't know what they imagine
00:27:44.400
how this works, but, but, um, that's basically the result. Uh, and then it goes on from there.
00:27:51.460
Anyway, I think you've probably heard enough. You get the idea. This is, I think it, it should be
00:27:57.840
noted that I looked up this author's, uh, biography and seeing what it says here, it won't surprise you
00:28:06.540
that this is someone from academia. I don't know if they're still in academia, but someone who was in,
00:28:12.480
in academia, this is what you send your kids to a mainstream college, um, to a major, you know,
00:28:20.340
secular kind of college. What I mean, this is the kind of thing they're being taught as fact.
00:28:28.760
So this is not hyperbole or me being satirical or anything. They, the left really believes
00:28:38.340
that only white people can be racist by definition. And so any racist thing that happens
00:28:45.160
has to be the fault of white people. That is actually what they believe. That is actually
00:28:52.900
what they teach to kids as a fact in school. And it of course is completely insane and has no basis in
00:29:01.520
reality. Um, and it, it entirely ignores the fact, and in fact is, is meant to obfuscate the fact that,
00:29:12.320
um, bigotry and so-called intolerance and racial hatred is extremely pervasive and common all across
00:29:25.100
the world. And very often is much more common and much more pervasive and much more violent and aggressive
00:29:34.600
and dangerous in non-white parts of the world. Um, but that's the fact that we're not supposed to notice that.
00:29:46.120
Okay. As I mentioned, today is my wedding anniversary, eight years, and, uh, I thought it could be fun,
00:29:57.160
possibly instructive to go over some of the very common and cliched bits of marriage wisdom, um, that, that, uh,
00:30:06.400
everyone hears before marriage, but I have found to be completely off base and wrong in my experience.
00:30:12.780
And anyone who's contemplating marriage, if you're younger and you're thinking about getting married
00:30:16.580
or you just got married, hopefully this will be instructive for you. Now, I don't know what your
00:30:21.420
particular experience is going to be, but, uh, I, I think probably these are bits of advice that you've
00:30:27.280
already heard a bunch of times. And in my opinion, you should just discard and forget about. Okay. So
00:30:32.640
we'll go through some of these. Number one, um, never go to bed angry. This is terrible advice.
00:30:40.720
It's very common. You hear it all the time. And I really believed before I got married and I heard
00:30:46.880
never go to bed angry. And so I thought, okay, well, guess you can't go to bed angry. What I've
00:30:51.240
discovered though, and you discovered this pretty quickly is that if you're ticked off at each other
00:30:54.940
around bedtime, which does happen, hopefully it doesn't happen that often, but it does happen,
00:30:59.180
especially if you've had a long day and you've got kids and all that, and the kids are being kids and
00:31:03.720
just at the end of the day, you're exhausted and everything. Um, and you're getting on each other's
00:31:08.740
nerves. You get into a, into a fight. Well, okay. You have two options at that point. You it's,
00:31:15.140
it's around bedtime. You're angry, two options. You can fight it out into the wee hours of the morning
00:31:22.860
and then probably still in the end, go to bed angry or just get some sleep and sleep it off.
00:31:30.740
Wake up in the morning and 90% of the time discover that you don't even care anymore. You're not angry
00:31:36.560
anymore. Um, the latter option is better almost all the time. So this, this is almost completely
00:31:45.560
the opposite of the case. Uh, also, you know, I, I, I have personally found that screaming at your
00:31:54.360
spouse, no, don't fall asleep. We can't go to bed angry. That doesn't really work to calm things down.
00:32:01.560
I've discovered anger subsides on it on its own. You can't demand that someone stop being angry.
00:32:07.920
It just on its own, it goes away. And, uh, most of the time in a marriage, depending on how serious
00:32:13.400
the fight is, I mean, you know, if it's something very serious, this will, this isn't true, but
00:32:16.460
the vast majority of the arguments that you have in a marriage are not serious. And it's about
00:32:22.400
something that doesn't really matter that much. And you're both kind of wrong, but you're also both
00:32:27.440
kind of right. You have your good points and your bad points. That's, that's the majority of
00:32:31.520
arguments. And so, but when you're in the midst of it and you're angry, you just, you can't see
00:32:36.680
that you go to bed, you wake up and you'll see that. Oh man. Now, if you, if you cut it off at the
00:32:42.960
pass and decide not to have the argument and you just go to bed, you'll wake up and think about all
00:32:49.940
the things because yeah, you went to bed angry. So as you're falling asleep, you're stewing over it.
00:32:54.840
And you're, you're thinking about all the things you wish you could be saying right now. You're
00:32:58.560
thinking about waking up your spouse to say these great points that you think you want to make.
00:33:03.060
But when you eventually you do fall asleep, you wake up in the morning, you think to yourself,
00:33:06.900
thank God, I didn't say I knew that. That's a very good thing. So, um, definitely go to bed angry
00:33:13.920
sometimes. That's my first, uh, so that's how I respond to it. Number two, uh, people say the first
00:33:18.240
year is the hardest. I, I, I don't know who came up with this. I have to assume that the,
00:33:23.920
the person who came up with it is someone who got divorced after the first year. So this is someone
00:33:28.680
who couldn't hack it at all and got divorced and then figured that, well, first year must be the
00:33:32.160
hardest because it was my only year. So what do I know? The first year is actually a piece of cake
00:33:38.440
barring some kind of, uh, extenuating circumstance that makes your particular situation very difficult.
00:33:45.860
In most cases on the sort of standard first year model of marriage, it is a piece of cake. There's
00:33:53.420
it's, you don't have kids probably, uh, you're just, it's just the two of you and you just got
00:33:59.940
married. You're doing your thing. It's just, uh, it's no problem. It's, it's not until later when
00:34:06.600
the kids come and you got the bills and, and, and, and you've got just all the challenges and
00:34:12.160
the vicissitudes of fortune to use a phrase that I use quite commonly in my household.
00:34:18.120
Uh, it's with all of that, that you start having the challenges and, and, and that's when you have
00:34:22.820
the more difficult moments. I think telling people that the first year is the hardest just sets them
00:34:27.400
up for failure by giving them a false confidence where they get through the first year, they look
00:34:31.600
back at it. They say, really, that's the hardest it's going to get. You kidding me? This is a piece of
00:34:36.020
cake. And then, uh, and then the first time they hit a real speed bump, everything falls apart
00:34:41.280
because they weren't, they weren't expecting that. Number three, people say, uh, you know,
00:34:45.060
never keep anything from your partner. Don't keep anything yourself. Now this is true. If,
00:34:50.880
if the point is that you shouldn't like hide money or have affairs or something like that,
00:34:57.320
then, and with the money thing now that, that is a cliched common piece of advice about don't
00:35:02.920
have separate accounts and don't do that. That I think is a hundred percent correct. That's
00:35:06.880
absolutely true. Um, you get, you let money come in between you and a marriage and you both have
00:35:12.460
your own money. That's that you're just asking for, you, you're at, you are basically, you might
00:35:16.580
as well be literally asking for a divorce at that point. You might as well cut to the chase and just,
00:35:21.100
just ask for the divorce because that's where you're headed. If you, if you're letting money come
00:35:25.260
between you in a marriage like that. But, um, uh, with the exception of those kinds of things,
00:35:31.180
the way this is often translated, when people say, don't keep anything from your spouse,
00:35:37.100
the way it's translated in a marriage, a lot of the time is that you should always share your
00:35:42.420
feelings and your concerns with your spouse all the time. Never hold anything back or keep anything
00:35:48.640
to yourself. And that, that is definitely wrong. It couldn't be more wrong. Now, um, someone on
00:35:57.640
Twitter, very, I was talking about this on Twitter last night, someone on Twitter very wisely
00:36:00.560
described this as, I wish I could steal this and pretend that I came up with this, but, uh, but I
00:36:04.680
didn't. Someone said that this is like using your spouse as an emotional toilet. It is the emotional
00:36:10.600
toilet approach to marriage. And that is, you're just, you're, you're dumping all of your emotional
00:36:16.640
baggage on your spouse of vomiting out all the complaints and miseries of the day, not because you
00:36:22.860
want to bond with them or share with them, but just because you're trying to unload and you don't
00:36:27.700
want to have it. And so it just makes you feel better to get it all out there. You're trying to
00:36:31.540
vent a good rule of thumb. I think is this, if you have to justify what you're saying by qualifying it
00:36:39.320
with, I'm just venting. You probably should have kept it to yourself. I think 90% of the time,
00:36:47.440
what you feel the need to excuse by calling it venting is something that you, that you were selfish
00:36:53.700
for saying in the first place, because you're taking your own miseries and you're dumping them
00:36:58.960
on your spouse, just backing up the dump truck and unloading it. Here you go.
00:37:05.840
Go scream into a pillow if you, if you need to, but your spouse is not a pillow to be screamed into.
00:37:13.540
Um, the, uh, number four, marriage is 50, 50. Uh, this is, I think, obviously now I, before going,
00:37:20.700
and we're going into marriage, I knew that this was, this was BS, uh, marriage is fit. Marriage
00:37:24.660
is not 50, 50. You can't split everything down the line. 50, 50. If you try to do that, it's kind
00:37:29.220
of like the money thing. It's you, you are marching right to the divorce attorney. If you're trying to
00:37:33.920
have a marriage like that, uh, if you're trying to be like my kids, the twins who are con because
00:37:40.840
they're six years old. So they insist that everything is exactly equal. You know, they start measuring,
00:37:47.840
oh, you gave him a little bit more cereal than me. That kind of thing. Um, uh, that's, you give
00:37:54.820
them both a cookie and they, they hold the cookies up to see who has a little bit more cookie than the
00:37:58.460
other. Then the one with less cookie demands to be compensated for the cookie they're missing out
00:38:02.000
on. If you, if, okay, it's one thing if you're a six year old child operating that way, but if
00:38:07.120
you're trying to have a marriage that way, uh, it's just not going to work. What I would also say
00:38:11.840
though, because it's common for people to say, oh no, marriages aren't 50, 50. They're 100, 100 in
00:38:20.440
that you're both giving a hundred percent of a hundred percent all the time. I think that's also
00:38:24.900
wrong. That is also bad advice. Or maybe it's not so much bad advice as it is, uh, an unrealistic
00:38:33.520
expectation that you are giving to a married couple. When you say that, because even if it's true
00:38:42.140
that in an ideal world, both spouses should be giving a hundred percent all the time, that's not
00:38:48.900
how it's ever going to work. And so in certain areas of your marriage and in the family and in
00:38:54.860
the household, uh, you know, the husband is going to be doing 85% and the wife is doing 15. And there
00:39:02.480
are other areas where the wife is doing 92 and the husband's doing eight. And there are even going
00:39:06.720
to be times when one spouse is doing a hundred and the other one's doing zero. That's just how it
00:39:11.980
works. And, and I think the point is you can't measure it when you're sitting there trying to
00:39:16.140
measure, whether you're trying to measure 50 or trying to measure a hundred, if you're measuring
00:39:20.400
at all and you're comparing like that, it, you're setting yourself up once again for failure. It's just
00:39:25.920
that a marriage can't work that way. And I also think actually that, um, I think it's
00:39:32.460
really important in a marriage, especially when their kids are involved. It's important
00:39:36.560
that both spouses get chances sometimes to do zero. So I think as a spouse, you should be volunteering
00:39:45.060
to do a hundred sometimes. So your spouse can go do zero for a little bit, have some me time,
00:39:51.700
have some time to themselves away from the kids, away from you, away from the house. Just,
00:39:55.920
just live, just being a, you know, being their own human for a few hours. Um, I think that's
00:40:04.680
extremely important. And, uh, talking to a lot of married couples, it seems like there are a lot
00:40:09.320
of people in marriages where they're, where they never get that. Never. They're never given a chance
00:40:14.320
to go and just do zero. Um, because they always, because their spouse's attitude is always, Hey,
00:40:20.500
if I'm in the midst of it, then you gotta be here too. You're not, if you're not getting a break,
00:40:25.300
if I don't get one at the same time, that is a lethal attitude, I think. And then number five,
00:40:34.740
uh, the fifth piece of bad advice is, um, people say, and this comes in different forms,
00:40:40.740
but people say happy wife, happy life. You know, this is another one that could be interpreted in
00:40:46.060
a positive, good, healthy way. If what you mean is that you should try to look out for your spouse's
00:40:50.400
happiness generally, then sure. Although wives should be doing that for their husbands too.
00:40:55.720
Now I don't, it doesn't rhyme as well. So happy wife, happy life. It's a nice little rhyme there.
00:41:00.160
Happy husband, happy. I don't know what would rhyme with husband. That means life. I'm not sure
00:41:03.660
anything does, but both spouses should be looking out for the other person's happiness, which isn't to
00:41:08.780
say that spouses should be dependent on the other for their happiness, but voluntarily we in a marriage
00:41:18.200
should be wanting to do what we can to help our spouse be happy. The problem is that the way this
00:41:25.220
often gets translated is that the husband should just give the wife what she wants, always agree,
00:41:31.900
never argue with her, et cetera, et cetera, yada, yada. And this idea is communicated in a variety of
00:41:37.360
half joking, but not really joking at all ways, like happy life, happy wife, or happy wife, happy life,
00:41:43.080
or someone says something like, you know, the most important words for a husband to learn in a
00:41:47.600
marriage are, yes, dear. Anything in that vein, all the stuff about how the wife is always right.
00:41:56.620
And this is something I heard before my marriage constantly. Guys would come up to me and they
00:42:02.960
would say, well, the best advice I can give is she's always right. And then they kind of do that
00:42:07.840
thing where they're half whispering, but not really. The best advice I can give is she's always right.
00:42:11.720
Now, first of all, this strikes me as enormously patronizing to women, where you're just patting
00:42:20.680
your wife on the head and saying, there, there, yeah, you're right, honey. Okay. But more to the
00:42:26.080
point, it's an absolutely pathetic way for a man to approach marriage. And it's hard for me to believe
00:42:33.160
that any woman actually respects a pushover like that. There might be a part of them that likes it
00:42:39.340
because they get their way, but they don't respect you. If they can, if they can walk all over you,
00:42:44.040
they're not going to respect you. Women don't want yes, men. They just want men.
00:42:50.080
Here's the fact of the matter. Wives, and this is a newsflash breaking news here. Wives are not
00:42:57.360
always right. Sometimes they're wrong. In fact, a wife is just as likely to be wrong as a husband
00:43:05.020
because you're both fallible human beings. You're not perfect. She's not perfect. Nobody's
00:43:10.460
perfect. So she can be wrong. It does happen. And when she is wrong, as a husband, you should tell
00:43:17.460
her. Now, it doesn't mean you should scream at her or be condescending about it, but if she's wrong
00:43:22.660
about something, you should say so. And if it starts an argument and you're in the right, then hold
00:43:28.840
your ground. You don't have to give up just to try to keep the peace or whatever. If your wife's
00:43:36.120
happiness hinges on always being agreed with and getting everything she wants all the time,
00:43:42.280
then she needs to grow up. Okay. Your wife is an emotional child in that case, and you can help
00:43:48.900
that process by being a grown man yourself because you are also an emotional child in that you have
00:43:54.080
allowed your marriage to become this. But hopefully your wife is like mine. My wife is a grown woman.
00:43:59.760
She's an adult. She can not only handle being disagreed with, but she very much prefers it over
00:44:05.520
being placated with a head nod. Now, I generally have no reservations. Maybe it doesn't surprise you,
00:44:10.160
but I have no reservations generally with disagreeing. And this can go, you can go overboard with
00:44:15.720
disagreeing. I'll be the first to admit that. And there are times when, you know, pick your battles,
00:44:22.140
that old, there's a, there's a cliche that does come in, come into play. I think in marriage and
00:44:26.400
parenting, you do have to pick your battles. Sometimes you can't fight everything to the
00:44:30.020
death all the time. Um, and so there are going to be times when, yeah, you think you're kind of
00:44:34.260
right, but it doesn't matter that much. And so, and so, okay, you're, you're not going to, you're not
00:44:37.820
going to have it out over this. So there are going to be times like that, but even in those times,
00:44:42.820
and my point is you just, your whole marriage can't be that way every once in a while. Okay.
00:44:47.940
Okay. But even in those times when I, when, you know, I'm in, have a disagreement with my wife.
00:44:53.800
And so, um, but I think it's not a big deal. So I'll, I'll just say, okay, whatever.
00:45:00.660
Usually what my wife will say is, is something like, okay, do you actually agree with me? Or are
00:45:04.880
you just saying that because you don't want to fight? She doesn't, she's not going to accept that.
00:45:09.160
She wants to hear what I actually think, even if it's not a big deal. She really wants to know what
00:45:14.360
I think about it. So, um, I would say if you're a man getting married, I hope that you end up with
00:45:22.360
a wife like that, who's a grown woman as, as so many are. But, um, if she isn't, if she's emotionally
00:45:29.040
immature and she breaks down into tears when you stand up to her and this, there, that exists too.
00:45:34.000
There are men in situations like that. I have heard, well, if that's the case, I'm, I'm sorry for
00:45:40.040
your misfortune on that score. Um, I do not envy your position, but you aren't going to make the
00:45:46.180
situation better by letting her herd you along like cattle and just giving her everything you
00:45:51.480
want. It's only going to get worse. It's going to get worse. And she is going to become more and
00:45:56.120
more miserable. So while you're trying to make her happy, she's not going to be happy and you're
00:45:59.760
going to be miserable and everyone's miserable. And then eventually you get divorced. That's the way
00:46:03.200
it's going to work better to, um, you know, nip that in the bud right away. And, uh, and,
00:46:11.480
and actually just be an adult. And if you're, you know, stand up and voice your opinion and all of
00:46:15.960
that. Uh, and there are so many things like, you know, also related to this is the whole meme about,
00:46:21.160
uh, husbands going off to sleep on the couch when their wife is mad at them. I don't even know if
00:46:27.300
that's real. I, that's, I don't, I'm not sure if that's something from a sitcom or if people actually
00:46:31.440
do that, it doesn't happen in my house and it didn't happen in with my parents. So I've never
00:46:37.660
seen it, but you hear about it. And this is kind of related to the, Hey, she's always right. Just
00:46:43.620
say, just say yes, dear. That's another one where if that actually is happening, I mean, if you're a
00:46:49.400
man and you're letting your wife put you in timeout, like a, like a school boy on the couch,
00:46:56.860
I can't even imagine how that conversation works. Like, okay. So she's mad at you for whatever
00:47:01.840
reason. You're going to sleep. And what does she say? No, no, mister. You're not getting in this
00:47:06.560
bed downstairs. You go and you actually listen and you say, okay, may I bring a sheet and a blanket
00:47:13.900
with me? Will that be okay, ma'am? Can I know you get in the bed and you say, listen, this, this is my
00:47:20.300
bed too. I'm sleeping here. If you don't like it, you can go sleep on the couch. I'm not going to sleep
00:47:23.900
on the couch. If you're the one with the problem, doesn't want to be near me, go sleep on the couch
00:47:27.600
yourself. I'm not. Um, so that's how I would, uh, those are, but I, I would be interested. I really
00:47:38.180
want to know, is that really a thing? Are there guys who actually do that? Allow yourself to be
00:47:43.600
kicked out of your own bed? Or is that just something from Kevin James sitcoms? I'd really
00:47:48.420
like to know that. And I'd also like to know what, what are the, if you're a married couple,
00:47:51.980
what are the pieces of advice that you have found to be very, um, very incorrect and off base in your
00:47:58.060
own experience? MattWalshow at gmail.com is the email address and we will cut it off there. Thanks
00:48:02.660
everybody for watching. Thanks for listening. Godspeed. If you enjoyed this episode, don't
00:48:09.400
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00:48:13.320
your friends to subscribe as well. We're available on Apple podcasts, Spotify, wherever you listen to
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podcasts. Also be sure to check out the other Daily Wire podcasts, including the Ben Shapiro show,
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Michael Knowles show, and the Andrew Klavan show. Thanks for listening. The Matt Walsh show is
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produced by Robert Sterling, associate producer, Alexia Garcia del Rio, executive producer, Jeremy
00:48:32.400
Boring, senior producer, Jonathan Hay. Our supervising producer is Mathis Glover, and our technical
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producer is Austin Stevens, edited by Donovan Fowler. Audio is mixed by Mike Coromina. The Matt
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Walsh show is a Daily Wire production, copyright Daily Wire 2019. Hey everybody, it's Andrew Klavan,
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host of the Andrew Klavan show. You know, some people are depressed because the American Republic
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is collapsing, the end of days is approaching, and the moon has turned to blood. But on the Andrew
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Klavan show, that's where the fun just gets started. So come on over to the Andrew Klavan show and laugh
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your way through the apocalypse with me, Andrew Klavan.
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