The Matt Walsh Show - Ep. 401

00:00:00.000 This, this is big news, or so I'm told. I'm assured, I'm assured that this is big news,

00:00:05.000 that Meghan and Harry have put in their two weeks notice and are quitting the royal family,

00:00:10.300 or rather, as they put it there, they intend to step back as senior members of the royal family,

00:00:15.680 which I didn't realize was an option, you know. Though now that I know that it is,

00:00:20.640 I've been working on my wife to explore this possibility with my in-laws. I mean,

00:00:26.160 Meghan, think about this, Meghan Markle actually convinced her spouse to resign from her in-laws.

00:00:32.960 So in that way, she's a legend. I think she's living the dream. She's an example for us all.

00:00:37.900 If I could just get my wife to show up to her family's Thanksgiving next year with a resignation

00:00:42.920 letter, that's my goal. But I guess I shouldn't joke about this, because this is very serious,

00:00:48.040 very serious issue, very serious indeed, because with this dismantling of the royal family,

00:00:54.200 the royal family will be less equipped, less capable of performing their essential duties,

00:01:02.540 such as wearing pretty clothing and waving. I'm worried that they'll be able to do less waving

00:01:09.560 than they would normally do. And I'm not sure if the world can continue spinning, honestly,

00:01:16.180 without them performing that task. But personally, I can't say, as important as that is, I can't say

00:01:24.480 that I blame Meghan and Harry that much, because they want to live their own lives. And who would

00:01:29.800 want to be a useless figurehead, honestly? Well, I guess I would. I would enjoy that. So if the royal

00:01:35.920 family is looking for a fill-in, a replacement, I have my resume and I'll send it to the Buckingham

00:01:42.320 Palace. I have a lot of experience not doing stuff. So I'm very good at being useless. And I put that

00:01:49.860 on my resume, I'll send it over. Then again, I guess I read about two-thirds of one article about

00:01:56.040 this situation. So maybe my analysis is completely off. I will say that, you know, Meghan, I guess as

00:02:06.020 I've been talking about this online, a lot of people, Americans and Brits have told me that I'm

00:02:13.220 way off. And Meghan Markle is a villain, is a villainous woman. She's a sleeper agent sent by

00:02:23.380 America to undermine the royal family, finishing the job that George Washington started, which to me,

00:02:29.780 again, would just make her a hero. But they say that she's a terrible person. I don't know. You know,

00:02:34.040 I really don't know the, I don't know the dynamics of these people. I don't think anybody does.

00:02:38.780 But I will say that, you know, Prince Andrew is, you want to talk about a villain. Prince Andrew

00:02:46.160 was good friends with Jeffrey Epstein, allegedly raped one of Epstein's child sex slaves, at least one,

00:02:56.000 allegedly, and is being protected by the royal family. So I guess, excuse me if I'm not

00:03:03.800 too broken up about the fact that they're suffering this misfortune when they're protecting this

00:03:09.700 alleged child rapist. Everybody made a big joke about it. And I joked about it too, because of

00:03:15.900 what a clown this guy is. Not joking about what he did, obviously, but when he gave that interview

00:03:20.060 to the BBC a few months ago, or a few weeks ago, and his excuses, his alibi was just so laughably weak.

00:03:29.900 The only thing that makes it not laughably is when you think about what he actually allegedly did.

00:03:34.580 But remember his excuse was, number one, he said that he's, he's, he was friends with Jeffrey

00:03:39.900 Epstein because he's so honorable. He, Prince Andrew, is such an honorable guy. And he's, he's even,

00:03:45.820 he's even too on, he's willing to admit that he's too honorable. He's a little bit too honorable.

00:03:50.240 And so all of that great honor had, had whatever reason convinced him to be friends with this

00:03:56.660 convicted pedophile. He never explains why that's honorable, I guess, because everybody else is

00:04:01.820 ostracizing the pedophile. And, uh, Prince Andrew was going to take him under his wing and show him

00:04:06.400 compassion because he's such an honorable guy. So that was his first alibi, his first excuse.

00:04:10.880 His second excuse was that the, the woman accusing him said that he was very sweaty when, when she was

00:04:18.920 being assaulted by him. And he said that, no, it couldn't have been him because he knows that he

00:04:23.020 wasn't sweating back then. He checked his calendar and because he, he, he keeps a log of all the times

00:04:28.200 that he sweats and he checked his calendar and no, he didn't sweat on that day. He, he, he sweated on

00:04:33.740 other days, but not on that particular day. That was really his excuse that he knows he wasn't sweating

00:04:39.640 then. So it couldn't have been him. And so everybody has a, has a, has a nice little laugh about how silly

00:04:45.600 that excuse is. But what are we talking about here? We're talking about this guy allegedly raped

00:04:51.760 somebody, a child, and his excuse is so ridiculously unbelievable. Yet he's not going to be held to

00:05:01.460 account. You think Queen Elizabeth was such, such honor and dignity. You think she's a working behind

00:05:09.580 the scenes to make sure that he, that, that he's held accountable for what he allegedly did. You think

00:05:14.280 she's doing that or is she more concerned about the image of the Royal family? What do you think

00:05:19.200 that the honorable, dignified, wonderful Queen Elizabeth is worried about? So to me, when I talk

00:05:25.520 about the Royal family, that to me is the thing that I'm focused on. I, I, I really, you know, to me,

00:05:30.140 I think it's a big deal. It's a big deal if a member of the Royal family allegedly raped a child

00:05:35.160 and was friends with Jeffrey Epstein, a global sex trafficker, uh, uh, convicted pedophile. I think

00:05:41.540 that's the thing that we should worry about, but it seems like the attitude for a lot of, uh, a lot

00:05:46.820 of people, not just Brits, but Americans is, well, yeah, but you know, they're the Royal family.

00:05:53.540 They're, they're basically above the law. It's the Royal family we're talking about here.

00:05:57.460 I don't get it. All right. Um, well, the, uh, so let's go, let's go talk about the Democrats a

00:06:08.580 little bit. Speaking of, speaking of things I don't get, the Democrats, especially recently have

00:06:15.320 been, of course, coming to the defense of our nation's enemies. And, uh, the Democrats have

00:06:20.740 been very open about doing so, have, have not, not been shy about it at all. We've gone over many

00:06:26.140 examples this week and, uh, and last week of the Dems openly defending Iran and engaging in pro

00:06:32.320 Iranian propaganda. So here's the latest. This is representative Pramila Jayapal at a press

00:06:37.980 conference yesterday. So this is, this is after we found out that Iran's reprisal consisted of a

00:06:44.400 symbolic missile launch that didn't hurt any human being apparently. And so here's what Jayapal has to

00:06:50.480 say. Watch. This is the result of reckless actions by president Trump of military brinksmanship.

00:07:00.140 President Trump recklessly assassinated Qasem Soleimani. He had no evidence of an imminent threat

00:07:06.180 or attack. And we say that coming from a classified briefing where again, there was no raw evidence

00:07:13.200 presented that there was an imminent threat. Recklessly assassinated. This again is absolutely

00:07:21.560 indistinguishable from the language and the rhetoric that the Iranian government is using.

00:07:26.220 She could have been standing in Tehran making those remarks and it wouldn't have seemed out of place at

00:07:30.320 all. It would have seemed exactly good. That's the kind of thing that they're saying. And not that this

00:07:35.300 matters, of course, to her or to the other Dems, but to call it a reckless assassination is false on

00:07:40.980 multiple levels. First of all, reckless. Okay. You could get away with that characterization last

00:07:47.040 week, but now it's been confirmed that the move to take out Soleimani was a brilliant strategic play

00:07:54.280 and it cost us nothing in terms of American lives. The reprisal from Iran was a face-saving measure

00:08:00.600 meant to give them cover in front of their own people, their own citizens. I mean, complaining that

00:08:05.960 this was reckless. Now that's like if a team goes for it on fourth and five and makes the conversion

00:08:12.020 scores a touchdown. And then you as a fan are still mad at the coach for making a risky coaching

00:08:18.500 decision. Maybe it was risky, but it worked. So why aren't you happy as an American? Why aren't you

00:08:26.580 happy that this arguably risky play worked out for America and then assassinate? She calls it an

00:08:32.380 assassination. This, once again, is just false. It is despicable pro-Iranian propaganda. It is not

00:08:38.540 an assassination. An assassination is the illegal murder of a public official or public person for

00:08:43.960 political reasons, political or ideological reasons. This, on the other hand, was a lawful

00:08:49.080 strike against an enemy in a war zone after that enemy had coordinated two attacks against Americans.

00:08:55.620 Assassination, that's completely absurd. Was the killing of bin Laden an assassination?

00:08:59.220 Well, no, because that was done under Obama. So that's a totally different situation, we are told.

00:09:06.180 Speaking of, speaking of repulsive, watch, watch this.

00:09:12.020 And I'm very glad to say that I was part of the 132 and also the vote for Barbara Lee's amendment. But

00:09:19.340 I think that the point of that is that that is the same war that we're dealing with today.

00:09:25.080 We never solved any problems with AUMF. We left 4,000 plus, maybe 4,400 dead, and over 60,000 who came

00:09:36.680 back injured in some form. And the war never ended. As I recall the language in AUMF, it deals with

00:09:45.500 hostilities in Iraq. It doesn't deal with an incident or a dislike or someone in a car coming in from the

00:09:56.060 airport. That is the danger of not acting. And I do think with our leadership, meaning the leadership of

00:10:05.060 CPC, that we'll come together around Pacific Answers.

00:10:09.380 Now, if you're listening to the audio podcast, you couldn't see what was happening there. But

00:10:15.240 as Sheila Jackson Lee is talking about American casualties, she's talking about American soldiers

00:10:21.500 who were killed or injured. Ilhan Omar is in the background laughing and giggling with the people

00:10:28.580 around her, carrying on as American casualties are being discussed. This woman, I say repulsive.

00:10:37.940 She really is repulsive. She is. She is, I think, not a good person. There is no evidence at all that

00:10:46.280 she loves this country or cares about it. She's utterly devoid of anything approaching class or grace.

00:10:52.420 She's a liar. She's consistently snide and dismissive about the deaths of Americans,

00:10:57.940 whether it's this we're talking about or when she was discussing 9-11.

00:11:02.880 And I know that when, see, here's the thing. When conservatives like myself

00:11:07.220 complain about somebody like Ilhan Omar having zero class and zero grace,

00:11:14.760 the immediate response from the other side is to say, are you serious? What about Trump?

00:11:20.640 So they'll go with the, what about Trump thing? Are you saying Trump has class and grace?

00:11:25.360 Well, personally, no, I, I, I don't think he does. I certainly, when I think of all the words

00:11:30.740 to describe or to apply to Donald Trump, class and grace, neither of those come up.

00:11:37.760 But what's the difference? You know, why is it that the classlessness of Ilhan Omar

00:11:42.760 tends to rub people the wrong way more than the classlessness of some of, of Donald Trump?

00:11:51.260 Or, you know, why is it that he can get away with some of that stuff, but she can't?

00:11:55.880 What's the reason? Well, because we've never had any reason to suspect that Donald Trump hates America

00:12:04.560 or hates our country. You know, um, we've never had any reason to suspect that.

00:12:10.620 He's never said anything that would make us believe that.

00:12:15.920 Now we know that Donald Trump hates a lot of people. He hates the media. He hates anybody who's

00:12:22.320 insulted him. So when he's being vicious and dismissive, which he can be, of course, it's

00:12:29.060 always directed at some particular individual or, or particular group like the media who's

00:12:35.140 attacking him. And if you attack him and assault him, he's going to insult him. He's going to come

00:12:38.920 after you. That's the way Donald Trump works. And I think that that doesn't upset people because

00:12:44.180 number one, when it comes to the media, a lot of people hate the media and the hatred is very well

00:12:48.500 deserved. That's why CNN lost that lawsuit against, uh, uh, or lost the, uh, the lawsuit that, that was

00:12:55.220 filed against them by the Covington Catholic kids. But also people sort of understand, even if Donald

00:13:01.480 Trump can go overboard many of the times people understand the idea of, well, if someone attacks

00:13:07.460 you, then you attack them. And so we get that, but he's never directed that at, at Americans as a

00:13:13.820 whole, that's, that's the problem with the Ilhan Omar. And I think Democrats just don't understand

00:13:18.520 this. They, they struggle to understand this, that we as Americans, we actually want you to love

00:13:24.940 our country. I mean, can you believe it? That's what, that's sort of the unforgivable sin for, and,

00:13:30.160 and it makes sense that it's unforgivable. If you're an American politician, you could do a lot

00:13:35.720 of bad stuff. You can say a lot of bad things, but that we need to see and believe that you at least

00:13:42.260 love our country. If you don't, and if we don't see that, that is unforgivable. Of course it is.

00:13:49.500 Given your job is to represent the American people, you are working for America.

00:13:58.880 So at a minimum, we need to see that.

00:14:03.980 And that's the problem. That's why it upset us so much when Donald, when, uh, when Barack Obama was

00:14:11.680 going around the world, apologizing for America, talking badly about his own people in other

00:14:17.620 countries. I know this is hard for Democrats to understand, but you just, you got to try to get

00:14:25.500 it through your head. Most Americans love their country and they want their representatives and

00:14:33.440 their politicians to love it too. That's all. And I see no evidence of that with Ilhan Omar.

00:14:40.000 I see a lot of evidence to the contrary with not just her, but many of the other Democrats

00:14:47.080 and their performance with, with this thing with Iran is just talk about unforgivable.

00:14:56.180 And it is definitely evidence that you do not love your country.

00:14:59.920 When you're taking sides with an enemy who has just attacked us and you're taking sides,

00:15:10.380 you're taking their side and engaging in propaganda for them after they've just killed an American,

00:15:19.000 they've attacked an embassy.

00:15:20.120 And then we take out a global mass killer and one of the most dangerous terrorists in the world.

00:15:27.140 And you're, you're practically weeping over it.

00:15:30.200 Yeah. We're going to see that. And we're going to think, well, you must not love this country very much.

00:15:33.620 And that to us is going to be way worse than anything Donald Trump has ever said.

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00:17:07.640 rockauto.com right now. See all the parts available for your car or truck. Write Walsh in there. How did

00:17:12.480 you hear about us box? So that they know that we sent you. Okay. Here's a bit of cringe for you

00:17:18.560 today in cringe, uh, which could be a segment on the show. I thought about making it a segment,

00:17:23.800 but a lot of times I think about things that would be good recurring segments on the show,

00:17:27.920 but then I'm too lazy and I think, well, eh, but then I got to do it all the time and that takes

00:17:33.100 effort. So anyway, so today in cringe, here's Elizabeth Warren, uh, giving some advice to the

00:17:37.900 youngsters. You see it here. She says, you deserve better. Dump the guy who ghosted you,

00:17:43.440 convince the roommate to let you adopt a dog and I'll take care of canceling your student loan debt.

00:17:47.760 dump the guy who ghosted you says Elizabeth Warren. First of all, nobody above the age of 19

00:17:54.080 should be using the phrase ghosted you. Really nobody should be using it at all because it's,

00:17:59.200 it's supremely stupid, but, um, especially when you're in your sixties, but if you are going to

00:18:03.940 use it, this is one of the, this, this is a, this is a rule here where if you're going to try to relate

00:18:10.380 to the youth as an old person, by using these terms, you have to use them correctly.

00:18:17.180 So I'm pretty sure if you're ghosted by someone, that means that they've dumped you, right?

00:18:22.740 They've dumped you, they've ditched you and without saying anything and they're gone. That's what ghosted

00:18:27.320 is. So how are you going to dump someone who's already dumped you? That's kind of a, you can't fire

00:18:34.200 me. I quit sort of move. So that doesn't make a lot of sense. Um, and this is a very important

00:18:40.040 issue. So I'm glad we could talk about that on that note. Speaking of important issues, here's

00:18:43.260 something reading now from the daily wire, Washington, DC, having solved all of its other

00:18:46.980 problems may delete and replace gendered language from the DC city code and the city's home rule

00:18:52.680 charter in its next legislative session, putting an end to male terms like manhole chairman and fireman.

00:18:59.460 DCist reports that quote, currently our older laws show outdated thinking about gender with a default

00:19:06.260 to masculine pronouns or to masculinized forms of nouns. Um, and if the 43 page bill passes,

00:19:14.220 Washington DC residents will no longer be subjected to the emotional distress that accompanies seeing

00:19:18.440 such gender terms in everyday life, at least as far as Washington DC code and charter are concerned.

00:19:23.560 Um, so it's going to rename, uh, chairman to chairperson. Bondsman will be bond person.

00:19:34.120 Fireman will be firefighter or maybe fire person. Ombudsman will be ombuds person.

00:19:43.120 Uh, let's see. Man-made would be human-made. Man-power would become workforce.

00:19:49.540 Man-whole would become people-whole. Or no, maintenance, maintenance-cover. Okay, that makes

00:19:56.240 more sense. And you get the idea. A couple of quick points here. First of all, it's obviously

00:20:03.180 ridiculous to be offended by any of the quote, gendered language listed above, but manhole cover?

00:20:11.200 So the lid to the hole that leads to the sewage system has the word man in it and feminists feel

00:20:20.380 left out. So when you see a manhole cover, someone talks about manhole cover, you feel left out as a

00:20:26.200 feminist? You want to be included in that? Okay, look, I'm, I'm willing to give that one up. I've

00:20:31.840 talked to the male delegation and we've discussed it and we've said, you know what? We, that's fine.

00:20:36.760 You can have that one. In fact, you can, we don't have to make it gender neutral. If the feminists,

00:20:41.480 you can just make, you can, whatever you want. You can make that particular, you can call, we can

00:20:45.620 call it a feminist hole if you want. Go ahead. If it makes you feel better. And feminists do tend to

00:20:51.700 spew a lot of sewage. So it would sort of make sense. Second thing quickly here, it's interesting to

00:20:56.820 me, and I've been waiting for this and you see, you hear, you see gestures towards this every once in a

00:21:03.320 while. You see, you hear whispers of it, but, but, um, you don't often see people explicitly going

00:21:12.140 after the term woman itself. But of course the term woman has man in it also. So you can't even talk

00:21:21.160 about women without including men. That's the reality. And it's worse than that actually, because

00:21:26.420 if you follow the etymology of the word, now it's not true that a lot of people think that woman,

00:21:32.600 the etymology is womb man. So, you know, womb man, a man with a womb, which these days those exist,

00:21:40.100 I'm told. But that's not actually the etymology. The etymology is, it goes back to the old English

00:21:45.300 with men, which means wife. So the word woman really means wife, which means that women are being

00:21:53.880 defined literally by their relationship to men. Think of the sexism of that, my God. So we need to get

00:22:01.320 around to changing that too. Let's not forget. That's my only point. We got to, we got to think

00:22:04.160 of another word for woman entirely. Um, if we want to be completely gender neutral. Okay. Let's now

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00:23:20.800 ashford.edu slash Walsh. Okay. Before we read some emails, Jillian Michaels, who is, what is she? A

00:23:28.920 fitness guru? I think she was being interviewed by Buzzfeed and Buzzfeed interviews always, always a lot

00:23:35.660 of great insightful content comes out of those. And she said, she said some things about Lizzo

00:23:40.860 that have caused backlash. Listen, I have to say, I personally found, and I love celebrities like

00:23:47.900 Lizzo or Ashley Graham who are really preaching self-acceptance. I love her music. Yeah. A hundred

00:23:52.180 percent. I don't know anything about her. I'm sure she's a cool, awesome chick. Yeah. And I love that

00:23:56.200 they're putting images out there that we normally don't get to see of bodies that we don't get to

00:23:59.420 see being celebrated. And, um, why are we celebrating her body? Why does it matter? That's what I'm saying.

00:24:05.200 Like, why aren't we celebrating her music? Cause it isn't going to be awesome if she gets diabetes.

00:24:11.300 Well, I want to ask you, I'm just being honest. Like I love her music. Like my kid loves her music,

00:24:17.100 but there's never a moment where I'm like, and I'm so glad that she's overweight. Like why do we,

00:24:23.340 why do I even care? Why is it my job to care about her weight? You know, people are upset about this

00:24:28.340 saying, how dare you comment on Lizzo's body, how presumptuous, how judgmental of you. Well,

00:24:38.400 uh, if you, if you recall Lizzo, just as one example, uh, she went to a basketball game

00:24:46.920 in a pants where the butt region was cut out. So when you dress like that, I think what you want is

00:24:58.160 for people to notice and comment on your body. So whatever comments come, you know, when you dress

00:25:02.600 like that, whatever comments come, that's, that's, that's, that's on you. Uh, you had that coming

00:25:08.100 because you, that's obviously what you are going out of your way to solicit, uh, provoke comments

00:25:15.260 about your body. Second point, this, this is the kind of thing that when people make comments like

00:25:23.460 this, like Jillian Michaels did that, Hey, let's not talk about her body. And you know, she's in,

00:25:28.720 she's in, she doesn't say it, but Lizzo's morbidly obese and that's not healthy. It's not good to be

00:25:35.900 obese. It'll kill you, get diabetes. There's nothing great about that. And so that's basically

00:25:40.900 her point. It's the kind of thing that people on Twitter get upset about. But I think in the real

00:25:46.060 world, everybody understands this. I think most people you talk to understand that, yeah,

00:25:51.520 we shouldn't be celebrating obesity. Of course not. That doesn't mean that we're,

00:25:57.220 doesn't mean that we are bullying obese people or that we hate them or anything. It's actually

00:26:03.220 exactly the opposite. But you, you know, there are, there are certain things we talk about loving

00:26:10.940 your body. We talked about this a few weeks ago, this whole concept of loving your body.

00:26:16.000 I don't even know what that means. First of all, I mean, what does that effectively mean

00:26:19.460 to love your body? I mean, you are your body, you have your body, whatever, however you want

00:26:23.980 to put it. I don't know what, I don't know what it means to love it or why you should be

00:26:29.740 focused on that. You probably shouldn't spend much time focused on your body one way or another.

00:26:34.800 You shouldn't spend time staring in a mirror, trying to conjure up the right kind of feelings

00:26:40.720 about your body. Who cares about how you feel about your body? Just go live your life.

00:26:43.920 But to whatever extent you can love your body, you shouldn't love the things that are

00:26:53.880 going to kill you, the things that are objectively unhealthy, especially if you can help them.

00:27:01.320 So if you've got some kind of chronic condition or disease or something, well, there's nothing you

00:27:06.820 can do about that. But even then, it'd be kind of weird to say you love it. It doesn't mean to say,

00:27:11.800 I love my chronic condition. Of course you don't love it. But if it's something you can help and you

00:27:17.720 can change, then you shouldn't love it and you should try to change it. That's all. It's just

00:27:21.140 basic common sense. Nothing to be upset about there. Let's go to emails, mattwalshow at gmail.com,

00:27:29.400 mattwalshow at gmail.com. This is from Emma, says, hi, Matt. I had a situation arise at my work the

00:27:33.260 other day. Would love to hear your opinion on the subject. An employee of five years is leaving our

00:27:37.380 business. The employee was a great asset, very well liked amongst the office, always cared to do

00:27:43.220 a good job. The employee got another job from a larger corporation who can offer her more money,

00:27:47.420 better benefits, and a higher chance of moving up within the company. The employee wasn't looking

00:27:51.500 for a different job at the time, but couldn't pass up the offer. The employee gave our boss a month's

00:27:55.720 notice because they didn't want to leave us empty handed and wanted to help train a new employee

00:27:59.460 taking over that position. The employee also had a week's worth of vacation time that they decided to

00:28:04.840 take the last week before they left. Do you think that they're in the wrong for taking a week's

00:28:08.880 vacation after putting in a four-week notice? Thanks for all you do. Love the show. I don't

00:28:13.800 even see the controversy here, Emma. Are people at your job upset about this? No, I don't see any

00:28:20.260 problem with it whatsoever. That's her time. It's in her employment contract. She has every right to

00:28:25.640 take it. I don't see any controversy here, personally. I'm a firm believer in using your vacation.

00:28:32.680 You have vacation time. That's your time. You have a right to it contractually.

00:28:37.620 Why are you going to do your employer a favor, do a little charity, and say, I'll give you back

00:28:42.220 the time? Why? Why should you? They're probably not going to do you any favors, so use your time.

00:28:47.860 Yeah, no problem with it at all. Let's see. This is from Kay. It says, Dear Matt, I really appreciate

00:28:55.520 your show. I have a marital question. How do you divvy up the responsibilities slash chores in your

00:29:01.020 household between you and your wife? My husband and I have been married for less than three years,

00:29:06.860 but we're having a lot of problems lately and have been having too many arguments and fights

00:29:11.120 because we can't agree on who should be doing what. From my perspective, I do probably 90% of

00:29:15.780 everything from cooking to cleaning to all kid-related stuff. But every time I bring this

00:29:19.700 up to him, he tries to flip it around and say that he is so stressed because he's expected to do

00:29:23.720 everything and carry all the weight. It's been recommended that we come up with a chart that keeps

00:29:27.800 track of who is supposed to do what and what our roles are. And we started doing that recently,

00:29:33.000 but it hasn't cut out all the fights completely. How do you handle this in your marriage? Have you

00:29:37.660 had similar problems? Well, Kay, first part of my answer is that sure, yeah, everybody has had issues

00:29:43.400 like this in their marriage. Everyone who's been married for more than like three days has had

00:29:48.360 those kinds of arguments, the sort of, you don't do anything and I do everything types of arguments.

00:29:53.760 Really stupid arguments, arguments that just are not productive and aren't going to lead anywhere.

00:30:03.120 But, you know, that is normal. So to have an argument like that is normal. But if you're having

00:30:09.100 those arguments all the time and you can't get along at all and it's become an obsessive focus

00:30:16.080 and you've had to resort to a chore chart, then I think there's a deeper issue here. I think it's a

00:30:21.500 bigger problem, as I'm sure you've noticed. So if I'm going to be straightforward with you,

00:30:27.120 Kay, and I'm going to be blunt about it, and you got to keep in mind, I don't know,

00:30:33.580 all I know is what you told me. So I don't know any of the background.

00:30:37.880 But I would say that it sounds like you guys need to grow up a little. I would say you need to

00:30:42.540 maybe mature because you're adults, but you're acting like feuding siblings.

00:30:48.940 And so this intense, obsessive focus on everything being fair and making sure that you're doing the

00:30:55.220 exact same amount of things and sharing the burden exactly 50-50 is, I think it's a symptom of

00:31:02.000 immaturity more than anything else, which we're all immature sometimes. So that's not,

00:31:07.160 I don't mean that as any kind of dramatic condemnation, but it is immature.

00:31:15.160 Now, I don't know who recommended the chore chart idea, but I think that it's honestly terrible.

00:31:21.380 And I think it's a terrible way for married adults to handle the distribution of duties in the

00:31:25.900 household. And I'll tell you why I think it's a terrible way to handle the distribution of duties

00:31:30.340 in the household. It's because it completely removes two, I think, essential ingredients from

00:31:35.320 your marriage. And those are gratitude and generosity. And those are ingredients that it

00:31:40.840 sounds like you guys are desperately missing right now. So a solution that eliminates them

00:31:45.440 is probably not a great solution. Because if you have it written down contractually that your husband

00:31:51.320 is going to do such and such, take out the trash, do the dishes, vacuum the living room on Tuesdays

00:31:55.760 and Thursdays or whatever, however you broke down the situation, whatever it is,

00:32:00.660 there's no generosity. There's no love in him doing it. He's just doing it because it's his thing on

00:32:08.940 the chart. And there's no reason for you to be grateful that he did it because it's what he's

00:32:14.100 supposed to do and it's on the chart. And so he did it. And it seems to me that really, and I don't

00:32:20.520 mean to try to read your minds here, but it seems like what you both really want is gratitude

00:32:26.720 from the other. And you want to feel like the other one is being generous, right? You want the

00:32:32.520 other to be grateful, grateful for what you're doing in the marriage and generous. You want them

00:32:36.200 to be generous in giving themselves, putting in the work and the effort and all that. So

00:32:40.300 I think any solution that isn't focused on that is going to be a problem. And I say this from

00:32:48.640 experience, okay? We've made the mistake in the past in my marriage, every couple has, where you get

00:32:54.480 too legalistic about this sort of thing. And you say, you do this and I do that. Let's keep it all

00:32:58.740 even. And it doesn't work. What I think does work is for both partners in the marriage to just keep

00:33:08.260 the other one in mind, to stop thinking so much about what you're doing and the credit you deserve

00:33:14.280 and what you need and how much you need a break and all the stress that you're under and so on and so

00:33:18.960 forth. And instead to think about what the other person needs. And I think if one spouse takes the

00:33:27.220 lead on that and leads by example, not making a system out of it and not making themselves into a

00:33:32.720 martyr, but just gets up and does what needs to be done, I think the other one will probably follow

00:33:40.300 suit. I think probably the goal is you want to settle into natural roles where you're both

00:33:46.960 contributing in your own unique way and where there's still the opportunity for generosity and

00:33:52.880 gratitude and all that. One other thing. So that's my answer there. Probably wasn't much help, but

00:34:02.020 that's my answer. I guess my advice is just stop doing it. You're having a problem. My advice is stop

00:34:10.940 having that problem. I wouldn't be a very good therapist. Just stop. Okay. That's it. Give me

00:34:19.540 $300. But one other thing is here's something maybe a little bit more substantive or practical

00:34:25.880 anyway. I do think it's extremely important for, for moms and dads. I think, did you say you have kids?

00:34:31.280 You said there was, you've made a reference to kids. So you have kids. Okay. So I think it's

00:34:34.000 extremely important for moms and dads to both get breaks on a regular basis, not every six months or

00:34:40.820 something, but on a regular basis, a break as in you get to leave the house for a few hours and not

00:34:47.380 to run an errand or to go to work, but you leave the house on your own and you do your own thing.

00:34:53.140 You get a coffee, you get a beer, you work out, you watch a movie, you go get a drink with a friend,

00:34:57.940 whatever, whatever you want to do. Um, it doesn't matter. But I think that's really important. It

00:35:04.060 sounds like you both also feel like you need that. And it is important in a marriage. And I hear from

00:35:09.800 both men and women all the time who say that they haven't really had a chance to get out and be by

00:35:14.440 themselves in years. And there's just no excuse for that. If you're married, there's no reason why you

00:35:20.760 can't on a regular basis, get those kinds of breathers. There's two of you after all, right? So

00:35:27.200 you should be able to go out and relax for a little bit while your husband handles things at

00:35:31.740 home and vice versa. You should both be able to do that. So while my wife and I have been

00:35:38.440 far from perfect and made plenty of mistakes, this is one area where I think we've always been,

00:35:44.840 it's just, we, we, this is one area where we're definitely on the same page. I think we've,

00:35:49.400 we've always been pretty, pretty good about it and giving each other breaks and we don't keep a

00:35:53.640 chart or tabulate. And it's not a quid pro quo thing. Like you went out for 47 minutes and now

00:35:58.540 I'm going to, no, it's not, it's not like that. It's just a, it's just a general understanding that,

00:36:02.880 you know, sometimes my wife's got to get out and have her own time. I got to get out. That's it.

00:36:08.520 I went, I went recently to watch a movie by myself, which I enjoy doing. I actually, well,

00:36:16.380 I think a movie, you don't really need somebody there with you, right? Because it's, you're not

00:36:21.420 supposed to be talking anyway. So I went out recently to watch a movie and, and I was talking

00:36:27.440 about, I mentioned it on online and all these people were saying, well, how did you, what? You

00:36:32.000 went to see a movie? Don't you have four kids? How did you do that? I haven't gone to see a movie in

00:36:36.360 years. Well, why not? Why can't you? If you have a spouse, right? If you're a two parent household,

00:36:44.420 why can't you? If you want to go see a movie, go see a movie. Have your spouse watch the kids.

00:36:49.780 I mean, you shouldn't be the only one doing that in the marriage, obviously, but you should both get

00:36:54.420 a chance to do the stuff you want to do. I just, I just, you know, this thing that people, now I'm

00:36:58.780 kind of, I guess I'm, I'm off on a different, this isn't exactly what you were asking about, but I do

00:37:03.500 think it would be helpful to you guys. But you hear people talk about having kids and being married

00:37:08.780 and how they, you know, you give up your personal life and you can't do the things you want to do

00:37:13.300 anymore. And another one is fishing. I talk about sometimes, you know, I like to fish and I talk about

00:37:17.900 this, that on, on this show sometimes. And I'll get emails from guys saying, oh, you know, I love

00:37:23.680 fishing before I got married and had kids, but now that I, now that I got kids and I'm married, I don't

00:37:28.020 have time for it. I don't even, and they're asking me, how do you have time to fish? Well, what do you

00:37:31.440 mean? How do I have time for it? Sometimes I want to go fishing. I tell my wife, hey, I want to go out

00:37:35.220 on Saturday afternoon and, and go fishing. Okay. Why shouldn't I? And she tells me, hey, I want to go

00:37:43.940 out with my friends. My, my, she wanted to go down to DC recently and with a friend to have, have dinner

00:37:50.520 and she was, you know, and okay, go ahead. So that's, I think that's got to be the, the attitude. I think,

00:37:58.520 um, I don't know. I think sometimes in marriages, both spouses can get so, uh, you get, it's such

00:38:06.900 a, you're so obsessed with the 50, 50 model and you want to make sure that at least it seems like

00:38:14.240 this seems like what you guys are going through where every moment that you're working or watching

00:38:22.920 the kids or doing something that's tedious or, you know, whatever it is doing chores,

00:38:29.680 every moment that you're doing that, you want to make sure that your spouse is also doing something

00:38:33.720 like that or you feel put upon. The idea of you doing the hard stuff while your spouse is out

00:38:41.740 enjoying themselves for a little bit for, for, I guess some people they get in a marriage where they,

00:38:45.300 they just can't handle that. But if that's your attitude, it's disastrous and it's not going to work.

00:38:50.840 And you're, and you're just making it miserable on both of you.

00:38:57.280 All right, let's see. Uh, we have time for one more email.

00:39:02.980 No, probably not. We'll leave that for tomorrow. MattWallShow at gmail.com again is the email

00:39:07.520 address. And I guess we'll leave it there. Thanks everybody for watching. Thanks for listening.

00:39:11.360 Godspeed.

00:39:14.600 If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe. And if you want to help spread the word,

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00:39:32.020 Thanks for listening.

00:39:33.740 The Matt Wall Show is produced by Sean Hampton, executive producer, Jeremy Boring, senior producer,

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00:39:49.920 The Matt Wall Show is a Daily Wire production, copyright Daily Wire 2020.

00:39:54.520 Hey everybody, it's Andrew Klavan, host of the Andrew Klavan Show. We got to watch in real time

00:39:59.280 this week as the Democrats in the media, but I repeat myself, try to rewrite reality right in front

00:40:04.000 of our eyes, telling us that our fight with the Iranians was Donald Trump's fault instead of the

00:40:08.300 fault of a terrorist regime that's been with us more than 40 years. It shows again why telling the

00:40:13.440 truth, speaking the truth fearlessly is the first business of a free people,

00:40:17.400 and that's what we'll be doing on the Andrew Klavan Show.

00:40:43.440 Hey everybody, it's Andrew Klavan, host of the Andrew Klavan Show. We got to watch in real time

00:41:00.420 this week as the Democrats in the media, but I repeat myself, try to rewrite reality right in front

00:41:05.120 of our eyes, telling us that our fight with the Iranians was Donald Trump's fault instead of the

00:41:09.440 fault of a terrorist regime that's been with us more than 40 years. It shows again why telling

00:41:14.360 the truth, speaking the truth fearlessly is the first business of a free people,

00:41:18.540 and that's what we'll be doing on the Andrew Klavan Show.

The Matt Walsh Show - January 09, 2020

Ep. 401 - Dems Heart Iran

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