The Matt Walsh Show - Ep. 790 - Matt Walsh Gives More Relationship Advice To The Reddit Crowd

00:00:00.000 Well, there is no show today. That's the bad news. The bosses were upset that I've been complaining about the hotel accommodation so much, and so they've fired me.

00:00:10.100 They said, if I don't like the hotel, I can go back to being homeless in my car. No, that's not actually what happened at all.

00:00:16.060 We just are traveling, and that's why we can't, unfortunately, do a show today.

00:00:19.160 But the good news is that we still have some content to feed to you, my sweet babies. I would never let you starve from a lack of content.

00:00:26.100 So we've got something special, a little bit of relationship advice that I'll be doling out on a Friday.

00:00:30.340 That's coming up in just a second. But I want to tell you that this video is brought to you by 40 Days for Life,

00:00:35.700 and there's no better time to talk about 40 Days for Life after the Texas abortion ban and all the discussion about abortion that has been reignited in the last week.

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00:01:48.440 And that's what's sponsoring the video that you're about to watch.

00:01:50.920 Also, speaking of videos, on Monday, we're also not going to be doing a show.

00:01:55.980 Nobody in the company will be.

00:01:57.420 But we have something very special on Monday.

00:01:59.460 If you check back on YouTube, we're going to finally have our Sweet Baby Gang Anthem Contest.

00:02:04.900 You don't want to miss that.

00:02:06.100 We're going to finally select what the anthem is that will reverberate through our hearts for all time.

00:02:13.060 So make sure you check for that on Monday.

00:02:14.700 I'll be back on Tuesday.

00:02:16.420 Godspeed, my sweet babies.

00:02:18.240 Check out the video.

00:02:19.760 You know, one thing I do sometimes on this channel is dispense relationship advice.

00:02:24.520 It's been a little while since our last relationship advice segment, I think.

00:02:28.940 And I know that couples across America and the world really are hanging in the balance, falling apart, unsure what to do without my guidance.

00:02:36.380 And so I'm back to be that guiding light for you again as we return to the Relationship Advice Forum on Reddit to settle these disputes.

00:02:43.940 It's answer questions.

00:02:45.260 Repair broken bonds.

00:02:47.260 Let's check it out.

00:02:48.000 We'll start with this question here.

00:02:50.240 It says, my girlfriend of two years just revealed to me that she might want to try a one-off every so often in our otherwise monogamous relationship in which we would message the other person that we're taking a night off, meaning taking someone else home and having sex with them that night.

00:03:07.480 We're going to have sex with other people, but otherwise we're going to be monogamous.

00:03:11.040 I don't think it means what you think it means.

00:03:12.820 You know, I'm a vegetarian other than the three or four times a day that I eat meat.

00:03:17.180 It's kind of a similar thing.

00:03:18.880 For context, we're talking about sexual preferences, and it sort of struck me out of nowhere because she so far led me to believe she's a pretty possessive and sometimes jealous girlfriend who doesn't like to share her significant other.

00:03:30.480 It came as a little bit of a shock because I definitely wouldn't be okay with it, and she knows that I prefer monogamy in long-term relationships.

00:03:35.780 We tried talking out a little in which I stated my case, but I'm just kind of worried that she might want that in the distant future if we get engaged and eventually married like we've talked about in the past.

00:03:45.600 Any advice is welcome.

00:03:47.020 Well, you're not going to get engaged or married because what you're going to do is break up.

00:03:51.400 Bye, Felicia.

00:03:51.900 This, she's asking for permission to cheat. 1.00

00:03:54.620 She's probably already cheating. 1.00

00:03:55.900 This is probably more of a, this is more of her seeking validation after the fact for what she's already done.

00:04:03.160 But even if it isn't, she's telling you, I don't, I'm not interested in being committed to you, which means what's the, in what sense are you even in a relationship at all?

00:04:12.760 That's an easy one.

00:04:13.740 Just be done with her and break up. 1.00

00:04:15.540 Glad we could settle that.

00:04:16.620 All right, next, it says, I feel like I'm not allowed to have my own time.

00:04:21.620 I've been dating my girlfriend for almost half a year now, and it's been mostly great other than her clinginess.

00:04:27.080 She's the type to send multiple walls of text while I'm at work, and then when I give her a quick response trying to explain to her I'm busy, she thinks I'm upset at her,

00:04:34.960 which in reality I am, and I've tried to explain to her that there's no need to blow my phone up when I'm on the clock at work or at school.

00:04:41.020 I'm trying to explain to her I'm busy, and I've even set boundaries for her to not borderline spam me when I don't reply,

00:04:47.100 but I feel like when I bring this up, she thinks you don't want me to text you at all.

00:04:51.260 She's also tried calling me while I'm at work, and when I don't answer, she'll text my parents asking if I'm safe.

00:04:58.160 There's also been instances of me having to text her to get her to let me be when I'm hanging out with a friend.

00:05:02.960 Okay, I think we'll get the idea here.

00:05:05.300 Extremely clanging, extremely needy.

00:05:07.160 Once again, I would say breakup.

00:05:08.780 Bye, Felicia.

00:05:09.380 Now, granted, you guys have been dating for half a year, you'd say, which means you've barely been together at all.

00:05:16.800 Okay, so you're still babies in a relationship, and she's still in the infatuation stage of things,

00:05:22.380 and every couple has the infatuation stage when you're sort of obsessed with each other

00:05:26.000 and you need to be around each other 24-7, which there's no love before.

00:05:29.400 The infatuation gets in the way of love.

00:05:32.800 There can't be real love because the infatuation stage is self-focused.

00:05:37.280 You're obsessed with how this person makes you feel, so it's all about you.

00:05:41.960 She's texting and calling you all the time, not because she's actually worried about you,

00:05:45.200 but more that she needs that constant connection with you for her own self.

00:05:49.100 She doesn't really care if she's intruding on you or not, so it's really not about you at all.

00:05:53.960 It's more about her.

00:05:54.980 Tell me I'm pretty!

00:05:56.200 Tell me I'm pretty!

00:05:57.420 Tell me I'm pretty!

00:05:58.320 There's probably nothing beneath the infatuation except the infatuation itself.

00:06:03.060 This will be one of those situations where you stay with her, and then in a few months,

00:06:07.440 she gets bored and just breaks up with you all. 1.00

00:06:09.020 She'll go from utterly obsessed with you to she doesn't want anything to do with you,

00:06:14.020 just like that, or she'll cheat or something. 1.00

00:06:15.840 So I just cut this one off now.

00:06:17.040 I mean, general rule here, if you've been dating for only six months and she's already 0.99

00:06:22.340 annoying the hell out of you every second of the day, not a good sign.

00:06:26.080 So I would just leave that one alone.

00:06:29.040 You know, just to cut in here very quickly, you know what this all reminds me of?

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00:08:49.060 My husband and I have been together for 13 years, married for five.

00:08:53.380 At the beginning of our relationship, he was super affectionate, holding hands, cuddling

00:08:55.960 with me the whole nine yards.

00:08:57.380 We've always gotten along great and had a really positive and fulfilling relationship in every

00:09:00.380 sense of the word.

00:09:00.940 Not surprisingly, after being together this long, things have changed.

00:09:03.440 I've noticed in the past year or so that he's been much more physically distant.

00:09:06.660 He's not affectionate at all anymore, and our sex life has dwindled to once a week and

00:09:09.840 seemingly unenthusiastically on his part.

00:09:11.920 When I've asked him about this, he always tells me it's just because he's getting older

00:09:14.700 and isn't interested in sex anymore.

00:09:16.780 About the not being affectionate thing, he says,

00:09:19.500 Grown men don't like being hugged and stuff.

00:09:23.120 Yeah.

00:09:23.840 The final straw was me getting COVID and having to sleep in separate rooms to quarantine.

00:09:29.860 He said he still wants to sleep in separate rooms, telling me it's because he sleeps better.

00:09:34.180 We still get along and have a lot of fun together, but I feel like at this point, he treats me

00:09:36.940 like a roommate instead of a wife. 0.95

00:09:38.040 I don't want to leave him, but I also don't think 38 is too old to give up on a romantic

00:09:42.580 relationship entirely.

00:09:44.520 Okay, so I'm going to take the opposite approach here and say that breaking up, divorcing shouldn't

00:09:49.520 even be on the table.

00:09:50.940 What worries me the most in this whole thing is that you said, I don't want to leave him,

00:09:55.420 but, right?

00:09:56.460 Like that shouldn't be in the discussion at all.

00:09:58.360 Of course, you're not going to leave him for this.

00:10:00.780 That doesn't make him right in what he's doing and how he's treating you, but this is not

00:10:04.080 a divorce situation, not even close to it.

00:10:06.140 This is what's known as a rough patch.

00:10:09.280 Happens in marriages sometimes.

00:10:10.880 The only thing that makes it a little bit unusual is the bit where he doesn't want to

00:10:13.380 sleep in the same room and that you can't allow at all.

00:10:15.060 That's a death knell.

00:10:16.960 Separate rooms.

00:10:17.840 I mean, then you really are roommates.

00:10:19.300 Not to mention if you have kids, the message that sends to them.

00:10:22.120 So that's no good.

00:10:22.740 And as for the rest of this, you know, you have to let him know what your emotional needs

00:10:27.080 are and that it's not all about him.

00:10:30.280 But that should be something you could talk about.

00:10:33.080 One other thought here.

00:10:35.340 Married for five years, together for 13.

00:10:38.340 So you were together for seven or eight years before marriage.

00:10:40.720 This is maybe yet another reason why long engagements or courtships or dating periods or whatever

00:10:45.760 are not very good because you're hitting this rough period, these kind of doldrums way

00:10:50.680 earlier than you should be because you were already eight years in by the time you even

00:10:56.340 walked down the aisle.

00:10:57.720 And that means you hit your rough patch as you, you know, you hit your rough patch early

00:11:02.720 and you aren't going to have all these many, many years of marriage behind you as to serve

00:11:08.280 as a stable foundation to see you through.

00:11:10.240 And that's part of the problem.

00:11:11.620 You want to be sick of each other like once you've been married for a while.

00:11:15.420 I'm kidding, of course.

00:11:16.300 I mean, the doldrums and the rough patches, it's not inevitable.

00:11:20.220 Not every marriage has them, but it can happen.

00:11:23.240 And I'm suggesting that you're on a bit of a sped up timeline because of your very, very

00:11:27.620 long preseason.

00:11:28.820 So cut the preseason down, get right to the main, to the season.

00:11:32.480 Can't do anything about that now.

00:11:33.800 So I would say just talk it out.

00:11:35.140 Okay.

00:11:36.680 That's great advice for me.

00:11:38.460 Just talk about it.

00:11:39.340 What do you want me to do?

00:11:41.240 That would make a terrible therapist.

00:11:42.480 Maybe we should chug on over to Mamby Pamby land where maybe we can find some self-confidence

00:11:47.560 for you, you jack wagon. 0.77

00:11:49.340 Okay.

00:11:49.600 One more here.

00:11:50.140 This says, um, I feel that my girlfriend can be the perfect future wife, but I'm afraid

00:11:55.360 that I met her too early in life.

00:11:57.180 I've been with her for four years since I was 15.

00:11:59.180 She was my first real relationship.

00:12:00.560 She's the one I lost my virginity to. 1.00

00:12:02.020 We've had our ups and downs, but everything right now is going great.

00:12:04.640 She's really mature for her age.

00:12:06.000 And that's why I think she'd be a good wife. 0.99

00:12:07.400 My problem is that I don't know if I want to spend my whole life having only been with

00:12:11.020 one woman.

00:12:11.740 She's the only one I've ever had sex with. 1.00

00:12:13.140 And I fear that my romantic and sex life will become boring due to the lack of diversity.

00:12:17.120 I don't even know if sex is that great since I don't have any other references.

00:12:21.180 Adding to that, there's a few girls that are interested in me. 0.98

00:12:23.300 And sometimes when I think about it, I find myself wanting to be with them.

00:12:25.760 So basically, I want to live my youth and have a few experiences with different women, 0.91

00:12:28.980 but I don't know if I can leave my girlfriend because I don't know if I'll be able to find

00:12:32.280 a wife as good as her in the future. 0.99

00:12:33.680 Okay.

00:12:35.000 So she could be the perfect wife, but you want to find someone who is what? 1.00

00:12:39.120 More perfect?

00:12:40.560 You want references?

00:12:42.000 What is this?

00:12:42.380 A job search?

00:12:43.160 You want to be able to compare her to other women? 1.00

00:12:46.380 Why?

00:12:46.940 For what reason?

00:12:48.860 No, you got to grow up, son.

00:12:50.400 This isn't even a grass is greener on the other side situation.

00:12:53.500 Because you don't think the grass is greener, as you admit.

00:12:56.880 You just think that it might be different.

00:12:58.380 It's different grass.

00:13:00.560 And you want different grass for the sake of difference.

00:13:05.180 Grass!

00:13:07.600 Different for difference's sake.

00:13:09.840 Or diversity, as you put it.

00:13:12.040 You know what this is like?

00:13:13.300 I'll tell you what this is like.

00:13:14.620 This is like when you're walking through an airport and there's a pot belly sandwich shop

00:13:17.800 right there, but you say, no, no, no, no, no.

00:13:20.500 I'm not going to get the sandwich there, even though I know it's delicious.

00:13:22.980 I'm going to keep walking, see if I find something better.

00:13:25.720 Maybe there'll be something better at my gate.

00:13:27.640 And then you get to your gate and all there is is like a kiosk with a refrigerator and some

00:13:32.080 soggy sandwiches and saran wrap and maybe a cup of like macaroni salad or something.

00:13:37.720 But it's too late to go back to the pot belly.

00:13:42.180 Come to think of this analogy is not very good.

00:13:43.940 So let's just take that as advice on how to handle airports and where to find food.

00:13:47.600 As for relationships, when you find the person who you know would make a good and devoted

00:13:53.640 and loving spouse, you've won.

00:13:56.280 You've completed the game.

00:13:57.500 Congratulations.

00:13:58.740 That's the objective.

00:14:01.480 You're there.

00:14:02.840 No need to keep looking.

00:14:04.920 Continuing to date and sleep around and whatever.

00:14:06.860 None of that is going to help you in the long run.

00:14:09.380 What you're practicing then is just basically disloyalty, heartbreak, breakups.

00:14:13.540 Um, that's the experience you'll be getting.

00:14:17.940 And that's the experience you're going to bring into your marriage when eventually you

00:14:22.260 do go down that road, a road that you could have walked years before.

00:14:25.740 Don't make that mistake, young man.

00:14:29.080 And, uh, take what is right in front of you.

00:14:32.080 And that is my fatherly lecture for the day.

00:14:34.440 I don't know if any of this advice will be useful to any of you, except for the airport

00:14:37.580 bit.

00:14:37.880 That is really important.

00:14:38.600 When you see the pot bellies, go for it. 1.00

00:14:40.540 Um, but there it was.

The Matt Walsh Show - September 03, 2021

Ep. 790 - Matt Walsh Gives More Relationship Advice To The Reddit Crowd

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