Ep. 8 - The Great Disadvantages Our Sons Face In Modern America
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
158.3134
Summary
In this episode, I discuss a piece I wrote yesterday about the 4 things that are destroying boys in our culture, and why it s so important to have a discussion about it. I talk about how our culture is systematically destroying boys, and how we need to stop it.
Transcript
00:00:00.340
Welcome to the show, everybody. Thanks for watching. Hope you've had a great morning so far.
00:00:05.000
So I want to get into something I wrote about yesterday. I wrote a piece yesterday called the,
00:00:11.000
what was it called? Oh, the four things that are destroying boys in our culture.
00:00:18.760
And I want to get, I want to talk about that. I want to bring that conversation over to this
00:00:22.460
forum as well, because I think it's so important. Especially in a society where we hear so much
00:00:29.580
about, we hear about two things quite a bit. We hear number one, that boys are privileged,
00:00:34.560
that men are privileged. There's this, this mystical male privilege that we're always told
00:00:40.980
about. And that's, you know, we rarely see it manifest into anything, into, into anything
00:00:48.780
tangible, but we're told that it's there, that men are, men are so privileged to be in this culture.
00:00:54.360
And then number two, we're, we're told about the persecution and the oppression of women.
00:01:01.140
Um, and in the midst of all this, while we're having this discussion about male privilege,
00:01:06.500
and while we've got feminists complaining about, oh, they're so, they're so persecuted,
00:01:10.820
uh, they're persecuted because, you know, female actresses in Hollywood don't make as much. A female
00:01:17.300
actress in a movie made only $5 million while a male actor on the same movie made 15 million.
00:01:22.780
Oh my gosh. While we're talking about that kind of persecution or, or, oh, oh my goodness,
00:01:29.320
you don't want to pay for my birth control. Are you kidding me? I'm, I'm oppressed pay for my birth
00:01:34.420
control. So while we're having that conversation, boys concentrating specifically here on, on, on boys,
00:01:43.380
on young men, um, they are dying. Um, I mean, literally dying in many cases. Um, but also inside guy,
00:01:55.620
men are dying inside. There's this emptiness, this, um, this confusion, this kind of hollowness
00:02:05.640
that we are fostering in boys. And so I want to discuss that and talk about the things that,
00:02:12.620
that lead to that, you know, the great, the great challenges that boys face in our culture
00:02:18.120
or another way of putting it, the disadvantages. There are some unique disadvantages that men,
00:02:26.880
particularly young boys suffer in our culture that women either do not suffer at all,
00:02:31.860
or they don't suffer at all to the same degree. So the first thing, um, and I talked about this in
00:02:38.420
the video I did yesterday as well, but, uh, I want to focus on it because I think this is one
00:02:44.960
aspect of the plight of men that isn't focused on nearly enough, but our culture
00:02:50.360
just relentlessly preys upon a boy's weaknesses. We now, I just imagine the world that a 13 year
00:03:05.100
old boy inhabits. Okay. Just put your, if you can just put yourself into the, into the world,
00:03:11.460
into the mindset, put yourself into the shoes of a, of a 13 year old boy of the average 13 year
00:03:19.100
old boy in America. Uh, so if you're this boy, that means that, um, you know, you've long since
00:03:24.080
been exposed to hardcore pornography. You probably watch it regularly. The average age of first
00:03:29.960
exposure to pornography is, um, I think 10 or 11 by according to most studies. And I think that
00:03:37.080
that's, I think that's a pretty conservative estimate. I think for many kids, it's much,
00:03:41.360
much younger than that, but let's say 10 or 11. So he's long since been exposed to hardcore
00:03:45.580
pornography. Uh, he watches it regularly. Probably doesn't really understand what it is or why he's
00:03:50.640
even finds it appealing, but he watches it. And then puberty hits at right around 13 and his hormones
00:03:57.640
are going crazy. They're going haywire inside his head. His brain is hardwiring itself to focus
00:04:04.700
obsessively on sex. Now that isn't his fault. He didn't, he didn't choose this. This is just how he
00:04:10.940
is. This is what, this is the biological imperative. Um, there's been, there's, there was a study done
00:04:16.760
a little while ago that said, uh, that men, I forget how it was phrased exactly, but basically
00:04:24.620
men focus more on sex than they do on food. So if a man had to choose between food or sex,
00:04:31.560
he would take sex. Now I think some of that stuff is kind of sensational. I think, you know,
00:04:35.640
if a guy's starving to death in the desert and he has to choose between the two things,
00:04:39.480
he's probably going to take the food. I would think, but even if that's a little sensational,
00:04:45.700
we know the reality is that especially for boys, when they're going through puberty,
00:04:49.400
there is this intense preoccupation with sex that just kind of hits them all, all of a sudden,
00:04:58.820
like a ton of bricks and they don't even know where it's coming from. They don't understand it.
00:05:02.180
Um, and he feels just this biological impulse to go out and to find a sexual partner, even though
00:05:12.600
he, he doesn't understand this urge. Uh, his conception of human sexuality has been perverted
00:05:19.040
and degraded and confused by the porn habit he developed in sixth grade. But still he is now at
00:05:25.700
the age of 13, a boy becomes fertile, fertile, a boy can conceive a child at the age of 13.
00:05:32.560
Even, even though girls, his age for the most part, um, are not fertile. So this is, this is,
00:05:38.460
again, this is biology. This is his body doing this saying, Oh, well now you can have babies.
00:05:43.960
Now you're going to be focused on sex. And the boy, even though of course he's too young for all
00:05:50.640
this, he's too, too young for sex, but, uh, he can't escape it. He can't escape sex. It's all over
00:05:55.860
his computer. It's all over his phone. It's all over social media. It's all over the TV. It's all
00:06:01.500
over the music he listens to. It's all over the advertisements. He's, you know, it's, it's billboards
00:06:06.080
and just everything, everywhere he turns, uh, you know, even the magazine rack and the supermarket,
00:06:11.740
I mean, everywhere he turns and his, his hormones are already going crazy. He's already
00:06:17.100
preoccupied and everywhere he turns, there's this temptation. There's this, there's this preying
00:06:23.160
upon, um, what's already preoccupying his head. And then he goes to school and he sees that his
00:06:30.920
female classmates are dressed like strippers. And in fact, most of the places that he go,
00:06:35.640
that he goes in life, that's how the women are dressed. And because they say, well, this is my
00:06:42.140
body. It's my, you know, you just don't look. It's not my problem. It's not my problem. If I'm,
00:06:47.960
you know, leading these boys into sin, it doesn't, it's not my problem at all. It's your problem. I
00:06:53.140
don't care about them because that's the attitude that we fostered in girls. It seems that everyone
00:06:59.920
is doing everything they can to make a degenerate and a creep out of him, even as they demand
00:07:07.420
that he not become a degenerate or a creep. They're doing everything they can, literally
00:07:14.740
everything they can to make him into one while saying, well, Hey, never become this thing that
00:07:20.940
we are trying our hardest to turn you into. Uh, and so we demand self-discipline. We demand
00:07:26.780
self-control from this boy while providing him absolutely no tools whatsoever to develop them.
00:07:33.320
And rather than tools, we just give him temptation upon temptation, upon temptation,
00:07:38.400
nonstop temptation, everywhere he goes all day, every day, right at the moment when his brain is
00:07:43.780
least able to cope with it or overcome it. And even if, so that's all bad enough.
00:07:52.840
Even if the boy possesses this kind of superhuman moral fortitude,
00:08:00.280
the kind of moral fortitude that he's going to need to pursue chastity and purity in the midst of
00:08:08.080
this, um, in the midst of this degenerate sex craze culture, even if he has that,
00:08:15.180
well, what's he going to meet when he goes out and he, and he tries to pursue chastity and purity,
00:08:21.520
what's he going to meet from our society? Mockery, discouragement,
00:08:25.280
the very people who demand that he respect women and control himself, um, those same people
00:08:33.780
will then heap scorn on him. If he tries to do exactly what they demand he do.
00:08:42.860
We, we, we, we, we, we blame boys for not being virtuous enough. And then if they try to be
00:08:48.360
virtuous, we laugh at them. That's the situation a boy is in. Again, in that case, the boy is going
00:08:58.560
to need to call upon this kind of superhuman courage one more time. So we can, just like he
00:09:03.960
rejected the temptations. Now he has to, now he has to reject all the jeers and everything so that he
00:09:08.860
can walk this path to virtue. And he's going to have to walk it on his own from, with no help from
00:09:13.500
anyone, including his parents much of the time. Cause that brings us to the second disadvantage
00:09:21.840
in our culture. There is a lack of male leadership and male role models, and it is truly catastrophic.
00:09:32.000
We know some of the statistics. We know that a 20% of the kids in this country grow up without
00:09:36.760
dads in the home. That's 17 million kids in the black community. The percentage is 70 or 80%. Okay.
00:09:44.160
70 to 80% of the kids in the black community grow up in fatherless homes, which is again, a catastrophic
00:09:52.100
apocalyptic number that a community cannot survive like that. When you've, when you've only got,
00:10:01.520
when you've only got 20 to 30% of your kids who have dads at home.
00:10:08.940
Now, on the other hand, almost every kid has a mother in the home with rare exception.
00:10:16.520
So a girl will have a female role model in her mother. And not only that, but when she goes to
00:10:23.280
school, most of the teachers, I think 75, 76% of the teachers in the public school system are women.
00:10:29.180
So she goes to school and she's got female role models at school. And she's even more likely to
00:10:34.280
have a grandmother in her life than a grandfather because men die five or six years before, before,
00:10:40.080
before women do. So she's got no shortage of female role models. She's got female role models
00:10:45.460
just basically falling out of the sky. I mean, they're everywhere, everywhere she turns,
00:10:49.360
there's a female role model, which is great. And we should celebrate that. We should be happy for that.
00:10:53.380
That's a fantastic thing. It's also a profound advantage that girls have over boys, even though
00:11:03.100
boys have privilege. They're so privileged, but they're not even privileged enough to have a dad
00:11:07.980
around to say, Hey, this is what a man is supposed to do. Um, and even the boys who have dads in the
00:11:14.860
home, that doesn't mean that they have male role models. You'll find very often that despite the
00:11:21.440
father's physical presence, the mother is still the spiritual leader in the home, uh, among Christians,
00:11:26.700
I don't know what the exact number is, but statistically, um, it's the mother who takes the
00:11:34.240
child, the children to church while the dad stays home in his pajamas, too lazy to even get up and go
00:11:40.080
to church. Uh, she's the one who takes over the religious duties of the family. In most families.
00:11:47.720
Now the, the mother is the spiritual leader. So the father, what is the father? He's a warm body,
00:11:53.740
you know, you know, taking up space. He's a, he's a paycheck. Maybe hopefully he goes out and brings
00:11:58.420
home a paycheck at least, but many of these dads, they're not leading their family and they are not
00:12:05.120
providing an example to their sons. They're just leaving their sons, hanging them out to dry and
00:12:12.560
saying, Hey, you figure it out. So if a boy wants to be a man, if he wants to know how to be a man.
00:12:21.220
And that by the way, is something that we need to teach kids. Um,
00:12:28.680
a boy needs to be taught how to be a man. A girl needs to be taught how to be a girl, how to be a woman.
00:12:37.440
But many boys, they don't have anyone around to teach them that. So either they can turn to their
00:12:44.540
mother and they can hope that their mother can somehow teach them how to be a man and she can
00:12:48.140
do her best. And she can even do a heroic job in trying to teach that lesson, but she's never going
00:12:53.760
to be able to do it the way that a man can. Because when it comes to how to be a man, a woman can tell you
00:13:01.000
based on her observations, what she thinks a man does, but she cannot show you. She's a woman. All
00:13:10.020
she can show you is what a woman does. It takes a man to show another man what a man does.
00:13:18.000
So if he doesn't have, if he doesn't want to turn to his mother, then what's he going to do? Um,
00:13:21.840
what, what do many boys in this culture do? What's the next place? You can't, you can't look in the
00:13:26.280
home. You don't look to the schools. You know, you're not going to church. You can't look to the church.
00:13:30.380
So where do you look then for your male role model? You turn on the TV and many of these boys,
00:13:36.460
um, now they're turning to musicians. They're turning to actors, celebrities, superheroes for
00:13:44.300
their idea of masculinity. And they develop this cartoonish kind of hollow idea of manhood and they
00:13:54.020
become cartoonish hollow men. That's what I noticed when I, you know, when I look around, I see
00:14:01.980
a lot of cartoon men walking around. Do you know what I mean? A lot of these men, they're cartoons.
00:14:14.180
They've got this idea of masculinity that's cartoonish and they're walking around. It's like
00:14:19.880
they're wearing a costume because they don't even know who they are. Um, so that's another
00:14:27.760
disadvantage. Third, the education system is designed for girls. There's a reason why girls
00:14:38.580
outperform men, uh, outperform boys in the school system. And it's not because they're smarter
00:14:43.820
statistically. You know, girls are not any smarter than boys yet. They do so much better in school,
00:14:50.060
even though the boys with all their privilege, somehow they can't even get, somehow they can't
00:14:56.820
even get good grades in school. Why is that? Because the classroom is set up, is set up to foster or to
00:15:05.020
cater to the girls. It is set up to reward the kind of calm, organized demeanor. That's natural to
00:15:14.380
girls. Boys are not like that for the most part, with exception. Boys are not like that. Boys are
00:15:20.200
rambunctious. They have physical energy. You know, they're, they have trouble sitting still. I got a
00:15:25.900
four-year-old boy at home. This is him totally. I mean, he's got, he's bouncing off the walls. He's got
00:15:30.760
all this energy. He's got trouble sitting still. He doesn't like sitting still. Um, you know, he's
00:15:35.600
not able to focus attentive, attentively on a dull task for a prolonged period of time. My, my, my,
00:15:41.860
my daughter can sit there and, you know, she can draw a picture. She can, she can sit still for,
00:15:46.860
for, um, an hour or more and just do something. I mean, she could sit there and brush her doll's hair.
00:15:53.460
She could set up a tea party. She could do something like that. Meanwhile, my son is bouncing off the walls.
00:15:58.080
He's pretending to be the Hulk. He's, uh, you know, that's what he's doing. He's saying, daddy,
00:16:03.140
let's play. Can we go? Let's play tag. Let's play hide and seek. Can we go outside? I mean,
00:16:07.120
he wants to do things. That's what, that's what boys want to do. But the classroom is not designed
00:16:17.300
for kids like that. It doesn't know what to do with them. It can't do anything with them.
00:16:23.100
So it penalizes them. It penalizes boys for being boys. As a result, boys get lower grades.
00:16:31.940
Boys are more likely to drop out of school. Boys, boys are more likely to be expelled, to be suspended.
00:16:37.720
Remember with all their privilege, we've, they've all got this privilege, but they're failing out
00:16:42.400
of school. They're dropping out. They're getting expelled. They're getting suspended.
00:16:45.000
And worst of all, I think, cause that boys are twice as likely to be diagnosed with ADHD.
00:16:54.380
Listen, listen to this figure. Okay. By high school, 20% of boys will have been diagnosed with ADHD
00:17:04.060
and a large number of them will be on drugs. Somehow, you know, we never stopped to ask ourselves,
00:17:12.000
why is it that boys are somehow more susceptible to this mysterious mental condition?
00:17:22.820
That's crazy, isn't it? If this is really just a mental condition and anyone can get it,
00:17:28.240
then why does it always affect boys? Why are boys the white? Can anyone explain that?
00:17:34.040
We never stopped to consider that maybe what we're doing, it's that we're not diagnosing individual
00:17:42.780
boys with ADHD. What we're doing instead is we are diagnosing boyhood itself. We're, we're,
00:17:49.800
we are saying boyhood itself is a disease and there's no place for it in school.
00:17:54.920
Now, if the school system were not predicated on sitting still and memorizing and regurgitating
00:18:05.480
information and filling out dittos and worksheets. Okay. If the school system were not predicated on
00:18:11.340
that, there would be no ADHD. It would be like magic. All the ADHD cases in the world would just
00:18:18.520
evaporate. It would be gone because it's all conditional. ADHD exists in the classroom.
00:18:27.160
It doesn't exist in the woods when they're, you know, when, when, when your son goes out and plays
00:18:31.540
in the woods and he's, and he's playing with sticks and he's climbing trees. There's no, there's no ADHD
00:18:35.740
there, is there? There's no ADHD in a tree, in a tree fort. It's only in a classroom because we've
00:18:43.920
decided that, well, we need boys to sit still for seven hours a day, five days a week for 12 years,
00:18:53.880
nine months out of the year, repeating information. That's what we need them to do.
00:19:00.320
And if they can't do it, we will stuff pills into their face and make them.
00:19:05.680
And if they still can't do it, kick them out of school.
00:19:20.720
I mean, seriously, before you tell me about male privilege, have we turned womanhood into a disease?
00:19:26.240
Well, actually we kind of had that. That's, that's, we actually have done that with the birth
00:19:32.860
control pill. Um, but that's, that's a, that's a different conversation. Number four,
00:19:41.280
masculinity is, uh, is denigrated in this culture. Now you'd think after we, we just got through the
00:19:50.160
first three steps and you'd think, well, that's enough. I mean, we can lay off now, right? We've done
00:19:55.620
enough to these boys. We've, we've thrown sex in their face every second of the day. Uh, we have
00:20:00.760
deprived them of role models. We have put them into an education system that treats their personality
00:20:06.480
as a disease. So we've done all that. I mean, aren't we satisfied now? Can we just leave them
00:20:12.660
alone at that point? Can we just let them be? But no, because if they managed to survive that gauntlet,
00:20:20.080
then the next step is we bury them under just mounds and mounds of self-loathing.
00:20:28.220
We attack masculinity. Now femininity is also attacked in our culture,
00:20:33.020
but not nearly as explicitly, not directly. Okay. Nobody is, is, is, um, is going around and saying
00:20:43.120
that femininity is toxic or fragile. Nobody talks about female privilege. Uh, nobody does that.
00:20:50.500
Nobody's going to say that all women are dangerous. Nobody's saying that. These are the special
00:20:56.280
denigrations and accusations that are reserved for men and for boys. So think about what happens.
00:21:05.340
Think about a boy, you know, just follow along these four steps and think about a boy that falls
00:21:12.800
into every category I've listed. And that's, that's millions of boys do. There are millions of boys who
00:21:19.480
you start with, they're, they're watching porn at 10 or 11. They hit puberty. They're dealing with all
00:21:26.040
that. They don't have a dad at home. They go to school. They get diagnosed with ADHD. They're told
00:21:31.840
there's something wrong. Their, their, their entire time, they spent 12, 13 years in, in, uh, in grade
00:21:37.200
school. And the entire time they're there, they're told there's something wrong with you. There's
00:21:40.780
something wrong with you. Sit down, shut up, repeat the information on the ditto, shut up, sit down.
00:21:47.120
There's something wrong with you. You're diseased. You have a condition. Take this pill. Why didn't you
00:21:51.780
take your pill today? And that's what the boy is dealing with for 12 or 13 years.
00:21:59.440
And then he comes out and let's say he manages to go to college and that's when the feminism hits
00:22:06.940
him. And that's when the feminists go after Abby. He's just, he's barely, he can barely walk. He's
00:22:12.160
emerging from this gauntlet, like just, just, just bruised and battered and, uh, and on drugs and
00:22:19.180
everything. And he gets to college. And then that's what, you're a man. You've got privilege. Men are
00:22:25.500
dangerous. And then at that point, it's just his defenses are down. He's susceptible to it.
00:22:34.820
There's nothing he can do. So after we have broken men down, broken boys down, I should say
00:22:42.520
the final step. Now that we have them like putty in our hands, um, now the final step
00:22:51.120
is to remove their masculinity from them, a masculinity that they've never really come into
00:22:57.620
in the first place, that they never understood, uh, that they never grew into because they never
00:23:02.780
had, because of the last three things I mentioned. And so it's not very hard for our culture then to
00:23:08.840
come in and the feminists and the college colleges, they can come in and they could just take this
00:23:14.080
masculinity that's already bruised and battered and they just remove it from the man and feminize
00:23:20.140
him. Why do you think it is? There's another medical mystery here. So we've got the medical
00:23:28.240
mystery of why is it mostly boys that have ADHD? Another medical mystery is why is it mostly men
00:23:36.340
that are transgender? Have you noticed that? Most of these stories that you hear about transgender
00:23:42.920
eight-year-old, eight-year-olds whose parents are so accepting of it, which is by the way,
00:23:49.540
their parents are abusive and should be in prison, but, um, their parents are so accepting of it.
00:23:54.940
In almost every case, it's a boy turning into a girl. And then as you get older, the transgender
00:24:01.840
community is the transgender community is comprised primarily of men. Why is that? Could it have
00:24:11.160
something to do with the fact that there is a crisis of identity in American manhood? There
00:24:22.880
is a crisis of identity because we've got these boys who grow up and they never learn what it means
00:24:27.980
to be a man. They never learn to embrace their masculinity. They never learn to see it as a good
00:24:34.840
and constructive and beautiful thing. They never learn to, that, that, that, you know, there's a
00:24:43.020
place for men in society that they never learned that society needs men to be men and to do certain
00:24:50.380
things and to, you know, men are the ones who are fighting the wars and building the bridges and
00:24:54.480
building the buildings and protecting and providing it's men doing that mostly. I mean, men literally,
00:25:01.160
literally built this civilization, but they don't learn that because that would be upsetting,
00:25:08.920
you know, to the feminists and that might hurt a girl's feelings. So we can't talk about that.
00:25:15.340
And so that means, so what do we do? We, we, all of the things that men uniquely contribute,
00:25:20.620
we say, you can't talk about that. No, you don't, you're not unique at all. You don't contribute
00:25:24.880
anything special at all. Shut up. You're sexist patriarchy. How dare you suggest that there's
00:25:31.600
anything special about being a man? There's nothing special about you. You're not special.
00:25:38.020
Being a man is nothing. A woman could do anything that a man can do.
00:25:43.060
That's what we say to men. But to women, we say, oh my gosh, being a woman is beautiful. It's a special.
00:25:47.300
You could do anything. I mean, the world needs women. I mean, we need more women, CEOs and more
00:25:51.540
women in business. We need more women in the military. We need women. We need more women.
00:25:54.800
We need women, ghostbusters and women, superheroes. We need women all over the place. Cause you know,
00:26:04.920
And then a boy tries to pipe up and say, well, what about me? I'll shut up you.
00:26:08.000
And then, uh, somehow, mysteriously, we end up with a bunch of men who are feminized. And in some
00:26:23.580
cases, literally feminized. They, they, they, they literally try to become women.
00:26:28.800
I think all these things are related. And I think we need to face this, um,
00:26:36.740
because this is what our sons will face and we shouldn't look away from it.
00:26:45.280
And if we care about our sons and we love our sons, then, um, we need to prepare them to deal
00:26:49.460
with all these things because this is the world that they're entering into.
00:26:54.380
All right, everybody. Thank you for watching. And, uh, I'll talk to you tomorrow.