Ep. 8 - The Great Disadvantages Our Sons Face In Modern America
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Misogyny
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Summary
In this episode, I discuss a piece I wrote yesterday about the 4 things that are destroying boys in our culture, and why it s so important to have a discussion about it. I talk about how our culture is systematically destroying boys, and how we need to stop it.
Transcript
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Welcome to the show, everybody. Thanks for watching. Hope you've had a great morning so far.
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So I want to get into something I wrote about yesterday. I wrote a piece yesterday called the,
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what was it called? Oh, the four things that are destroying boys in our culture.
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And I want to get, I want to talk about that. I want to bring that conversation over to this
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forum as well, because I think it's so important. Especially in a society where we hear so much
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about, we hear about two things quite a bit. We hear number one, that boys are privileged,
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that men are privileged. There's this, this mystical male privilege that we're always told
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about. And that's, you know, we rarely see it manifest into anything, into, into anything
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tangible, but we're told that it's there, that men are, men are so privileged to be in this culture.
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And then number two, we're, we're told about the persecution and the oppression of women.
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Um, and in the midst of all this, while we're having this discussion about male privilege,
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and while we've got feminists complaining about, oh, they're so, they're so persecuted,
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uh, they're persecuted because, you know, female actresses in Hollywood don't make as much. A female
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actress in a movie made only $5 million while a male actor on the same movie made 15 million.
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Oh my gosh. While we're talking about that kind of persecution or, or, oh, oh my goodness,
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you don't want to pay for my birth control. Are you kidding me? I'm, I'm oppressed pay for my birth
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control. So while we're having that conversation, boys concentrating specifically here on, on, on boys,
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on young men, um, they are dying. Um, I mean, literally dying in many cases. Um, but also inside guy,
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men are dying inside. There's this emptiness, this, um, this confusion, this kind of hollowness
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that we are fostering in boys. And so I want to discuss that and talk about the things that,
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that lead to that, you know, the great, the great challenges that boys face in our culture
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or another way of putting it, the disadvantages. There are some unique disadvantages that men,
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particularly young boys suffer in our culture that women either do not suffer at all,
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or they don't suffer at all to the same degree. So the first thing, um, and I talked about this in
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the video I did yesterday as well, but, uh, I want to focus on it because I think this is one
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aspect of the plight of men that isn't focused on nearly enough, but our culture
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just relentlessly preys upon a boy's weaknesses. We now, I just imagine the world that a 13 year
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old boy inhabits. Okay. Just put your, if you can just put yourself into the, into the world,
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into the mindset, put yourself into the shoes of a, of a 13 year old boy of the average 13 year
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old boy in America. Uh, so if you're this boy, that means that, um, you know, you've long since
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been exposed to hardcore pornography. You probably watch it regularly. The average age of first
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exposure to pornography is, um, I think 10 or 11 by according to most studies. And I think that
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that's, I think that's a pretty conservative estimate. I think for many kids, it's much,
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much younger than that, but let's say 10 or 11. So he's long since been exposed to hardcore
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pornography. Uh, he watches it regularly. Probably doesn't really understand what it is or why he's
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even finds it appealing, but he watches it. And then puberty hits at right around 13 and his hormones
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are going crazy. They're going haywire inside his head. His brain is hardwiring itself to focus
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obsessively on sex. Now that isn't his fault. He didn't, he didn't choose this. This is just how he
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is. This is what, this is the biological imperative. Um, there's been, there's, there was a study done
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a little while ago that said, uh, that men, I forget how it was phrased exactly, but basically
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men focus more on sex than they do on food. So if a man had to choose between food or sex,
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he would take sex. Now I think some of that stuff is kind of sensational. I think, you know,
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if a guy's starving to death in the desert and he has to choose between the two things,
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he's probably going to take the food. I would think, but even if that's a little sensational,
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we know the reality is that especially for boys, when they're going through puberty,
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there is this intense preoccupation with sex that just kind of hits them all, all of a sudden,
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like a ton of bricks and they don't even know where it's coming from. They don't understand it.
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Um, and he feels just this biological impulse to go out and to find a sexual partner, even though
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he, he doesn't understand this urge. Uh, his conception of human sexuality has been perverted
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and degraded and confused by the porn habit he developed in sixth grade. But still he is now at
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the age of 13, a boy becomes fertile, fertile, a boy can conceive a child at the age of 13.
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Even, even though girls, his age for the most part, um, are not fertile. So this is, this is,
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again, this is biology. This is his body doing this saying, Oh, well now you can have babies.
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Now you're going to be focused on sex. And the boy, even though of course he's too young for all
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this, he's too, too young for sex, but, uh, he can't escape it. He can't escape sex. It's all over
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his computer. It's all over his phone. It's all over social media. It's all over the TV. It's all
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over the music he listens to. It's all over the advertisements. He's, you know, it's, it's billboards
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and just everything, everywhere he turns, uh, you know, even the magazine rack and the supermarket,
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I mean, everywhere he turns and his, his hormones are already going crazy. He's already
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preoccupied and everywhere he turns, there's this temptation. There's this, there's this preying
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upon, um, what's already preoccupying his head. And then he goes to school and he sees that his
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female classmates are dressed like strippers. And in fact, most of the places that he go,
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that he goes in life, that's how the women are dressed. And because they say, well, this is my
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body. It's my, you know, you just don't look. It's not my problem. It's not my problem. If I'm,
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you know, leading these boys into sin, it doesn't, it's not my problem at all. It's your problem. I
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don't care about them because that's the attitude that we fostered in girls. It seems that everyone
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is doing everything they can to make a degenerate and a creep out of him, even as they demand
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that he not become a degenerate or a creep. They're doing everything they can, literally
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everything they can to make him into one while saying, well, Hey, never become this thing that
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we are trying our hardest to turn you into. Uh, and so we demand self-discipline. We demand
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self-control from this boy while providing him absolutely no tools whatsoever to develop them.
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And rather than tools, we just give him temptation upon temptation, upon temptation,
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nonstop temptation, everywhere he goes all day, every day, right at the moment when his brain is
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least able to cope with it or overcome it. And even if, so that's all bad enough.
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Even if the boy possesses this kind of superhuman moral fortitude,
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the kind of moral fortitude that he's going to need to pursue chastity and purity in the midst of
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this, um, in the midst of this degenerate sex craze culture, even if he has that,
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well, what's he going to meet when he goes out and he, and he tries to pursue chastity and purity,
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what's he going to meet from our society? Mockery, discouragement,
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the very people who demand that he respect women and control himself, um, those same people
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will then heap scorn on him. If he tries to do exactly what they demand he do.
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We, we, we, we, we, we blame boys for not being virtuous enough. And then if they try to be
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virtuous, we laugh at them. That's the situation a boy is in. Again, in that case, the boy is going
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to need to call upon this kind of superhuman courage one more time. So we can, just like he
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rejected the temptations. Now he has to, now he has to reject all the jeers and everything so that he
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can walk this path to virtue. And he's going to have to walk it on his own from, with no help from
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anyone, including his parents much of the time. Cause that brings us to the second disadvantage
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in our culture. There is a lack of male leadership and male role models, and it is truly catastrophic.
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We know some of the statistics. We know that a 20% of the kids in this country grow up without
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dads in the home. That's 17 million kids in the black community. The percentage is 70 or 80%. Okay.
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70 to 80% of the kids in the black community grow up in fatherless homes, which is again, a catastrophic
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apocalyptic number that a community cannot survive like that. When you've, when you've only got,
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when you've only got 20 to 30% of your kids who have dads at home.
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Now, on the other hand, almost every kid has a mother in the home with rare exception.
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So a girl will have a female role model in her mother. And not only that, but when she goes to
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school, most of the teachers, I think 75, 76% of the teachers in the public school system are women.
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So she goes to school and she's got female role models at school. And she's even more likely to
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have a grandmother in her life than a grandfather because men die five or six years before, before,
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before women do. So she's got no shortage of female role models. She's got female role models
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just basically falling out of the sky. I mean, they're everywhere, everywhere she turns,
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there's a female role model, which is great. And we should celebrate that. We should be happy for that.
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That's a fantastic thing. It's also a profound advantage that girls have over boys, even though
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boys have privilege. They're so privileged, but they're not even privileged enough to have a dad
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around to say, Hey, this is what a man is supposed to do. Um, and even the boys who have dads in the
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home, that doesn't mean that they have male role models. You'll find very often that despite the
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father's physical presence, the mother is still the spiritual leader in the home, uh, among Christians,
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I don't know what the exact number is, but statistically, um, it's the mother who takes the
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child, the children to church while the dad stays home in his pajamas, too lazy to even get up and go
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to church. Uh, she's the one who takes over the religious duties of the family. In most families.
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Now the, the mother is the spiritual leader. So the father, what is the father? He's a warm body,
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you know, you know, taking up space. He's a, he's a paycheck. Maybe hopefully he goes out and brings
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home a paycheck at least, but many of these dads, they're not leading their family and they are not
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providing an example to their sons. They're just leaving their sons, hanging them out to dry and
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saying, Hey, you figure it out. So if a boy wants to be a man, if he wants to know how to be a man.
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And that by the way, is something that we need to teach kids. Um,
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a boy needs to be taught how to be a man. A girl needs to be taught how to be a girl, how to be a woman.
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But many boys, they don't have anyone around to teach them that. So either they can turn to their
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mother and they can hope that their mother can somehow teach them how to be a man and she can
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do her best. And she can even do a heroic job in trying to teach that lesson, but she's never going
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to be able to do it the way that a man can. Because when it comes to how to be a man, a woman can tell you
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based on her observations, what she thinks a man does, but she cannot show you. She's a woman. All
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she can show you is what a woman does. It takes a man to show another man what a man does.
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So if he doesn't have, if he doesn't want to turn to his mother, then what's he going to do? Um,
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what, what do many boys in this culture do? What's the next place? You can't, you can't look in the
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home. You don't look to the schools. You know, you're not going to church. You can't look to the church.
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So where do you look then for your male role model? You turn on the TV and many of these boys,
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um, now they're turning to musicians. They're turning to actors, celebrities, superheroes for
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their idea of masculinity. And they develop this cartoonish kind of hollow idea of manhood and they
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become cartoonish hollow men. That's what I noticed when I, you know, when I look around, I see
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a lot of cartoon men walking around. Do you know what I mean? A lot of these men, they're cartoons.
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They've got this idea of masculinity that's cartoonish and they're walking around. It's like
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they're wearing a costume because they don't even know who they are. Um, so that's another
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disadvantage. Third, the education system is designed for girls. There's a reason why girls
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outperform men, uh, outperform boys in the school system. And it's not because they're smarter
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statistically. You know, girls are not any smarter than boys yet. They do so much better in school,
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even though the boys with all their privilege, somehow they can't even get, somehow they can't
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even get good grades in school. Why is that? Because the classroom is set up, is set up to foster or to
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cater to the girls. It is set up to reward the kind of calm, organized demeanor. That's natural to
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girls. Boys are not like that for the most part, with exception. Boys are not like that. Boys are
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rambunctious. They have physical energy. You know, they're, they have trouble sitting still. I got a
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four-year-old boy at home. This is him totally. I mean, he's got, he's bouncing off the walls. He's got
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all this energy. He's got trouble sitting still. He doesn't like sitting still. Um, you know, he's
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not able to focus attentive, attentively on a dull task for a prolonged period of time. My, my, my,
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my daughter can sit there and, you know, she can draw a picture. She can, she can sit still for,
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for, um, an hour or more and just do something. I mean, she could sit there and brush her doll's hair.
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She could set up a tea party. She could do something like that. Meanwhile, my son is bouncing off the walls.
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He's pretending to be the Hulk. He's, uh, you know, that's what he's doing. He's saying, daddy,
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let's play. Can we go? Let's play tag. Let's play hide and seek. Can we go outside? I mean,
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he wants to do things. That's what, that's what boys want to do. But the classroom is not designed
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for kids like that. It doesn't know what to do with them. It can't do anything with them.
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So it penalizes them. It penalizes boys for being boys. As a result, boys get lower grades.
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Boys are more likely to drop out of school. Boys, boys are more likely to be expelled, to be suspended.
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Remember with all their privilege, we've, they've all got this privilege, but they're failing out
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of school. They're dropping out. They're getting expelled. They're getting suspended.
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And worst of all, I think, cause that boys are twice as likely to be diagnosed with ADHD.
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Listen, listen to this figure. Okay. By high school, 20% of boys will have been diagnosed with ADHD
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and a large number of them will be on drugs. Somehow, you know, we never stopped to ask ourselves,
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why is it that boys are somehow more susceptible to this mysterious mental condition?
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That's crazy, isn't it? If this is really just a mental condition and anyone can get it,
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then why does it always affect boys? Why are boys the white? Can anyone explain that?
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We never stopped to consider that maybe what we're doing, it's that we're not diagnosing individual
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boys with ADHD. What we're doing instead is we are diagnosing boyhood itself. We're, we're,
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we are saying boyhood itself is a disease and there's no place for it in school.
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Now, if the school system were not predicated on sitting still and memorizing and regurgitating
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information and filling out dittos and worksheets. Okay. If the school system were not predicated on
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that, there would be no ADHD. It would be like magic. All the ADHD cases in the world would just
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evaporate. It would be gone because it's all conditional. ADHD exists in the classroom.
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It doesn't exist in the woods when they're, you know, when, when, when your son goes out and plays
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in the woods and he's, and he's playing with sticks and he's climbing trees. There's no, there's no ADHD
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there, is there? There's no ADHD in a tree, in a tree fort. It's only in a classroom because we've
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decided that, well, we need boys to sit still for seven hours a day, five days a week for 12 years,
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nine months out of the year, repeating information. That's what we need them to do.
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And if they can't do it, we will stuff pills into their face and make them.
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And if they still can't do it, kick them out of school.
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I mean, seriously, before you tell me about male privilege, have we turned womanhood into a disease?
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Well, actually we kind of had that. That's, that's, we actually have done that with the birth
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control pill. Um, but that's, that's a, that's a different conversation. Number four,
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masculinity is, uh, is denigrated in this culture. Now you'd think after we, we just got through the
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first three steps and you'd think, well, that's enough. I mean, we can lay off now, right? We've done
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enough to these boys. We've, we've thrown sex in their face every second of the day. Uh, we have
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deprived them of role models. We have put them into an education system that treats their personality
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as a disease. So we've done all that. I mean, aren't we satisfied now? Can we just leave them
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alone at that point? Can we just let them be? But no, because if they managed to survive that gauntlet,
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then the next step is we bury them under just mounds and mounds of self-loathing.
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We attack masculinity. Now femininity is also attacked in our culture,
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but not nearly as explicitly, not directly. Okay. Nobody is, is, is, um, is going around and saying
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that femininity is toxic or fragile. Nobody talks about female privilege. Uh, nobody does that.
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Nobody's going to say that all women are dangerous. Nobody's saying that. These are the special
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denigrations and accusations that are reserved for men and for boys. So think about what happens.
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Think about a boy, you know, just follow along these four steps and think about a boy that falls
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into every category I've listed. And that's, that's millions of boys do. There are millions of boys who
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you start with, they're, they're watching porn at 10 or 11. They hit puberty. They're dealing with all
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that. They don't have a dad at home. They go to school. They get diagnosed with ADHD. They're told
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there's something wrong. Their, their, their entire time, they spent 12, 13 years in, in, uh, in grade
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school. And the entire time they're there, they're told there's something wrong with you. There's
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something wrong with you. Sit down, shut up, repeat the information on the ditto, shut up, sit down.
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There's something wrong with you. You're diseased. You have a condition. Take this pill. Why didn't you
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take your pill today? And that's what the boy is dealing with for 12 or 13 years.
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And then he comes out and let's say he manages to go to college and that's when the feminism hits
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him. And that's when the feminists go after Abby. He's just, he's barely, he can barely walk. He's
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emerging from this gauntlet, like just, just, just bruised and battered and, uh, and on drugs and
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everything. And he gets to college. And then that's what, you're a man. You've got privilege. Men are
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dangerous. And then at that point, it's just his defenses are down. He's susceptible to it.
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There's nothing he can do. So after we have broken men down, broken boys down, I should say
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the final step. Now that we have them like putty in our hands, um, now the final step
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is to remove their masculinity from them, a masculinity that they've never really come into
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in the first place, that they never understood, uh, that they never grew into because they never
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had, because of the last three things I mentioned. And so it's not very hard for our culture then to
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come in and the feminists and the college colleges, they can come in and they could just take this
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masculinity that's already bruised and battered and they just remove it from the man and feminize
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him. Why do you think it is? There's another medical mystery here. So we've got the medical
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mystery of why is it mostly boys that have ADHD? Another medical mystery is why is it mostly men
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that are transgender? Have you noticed that? Most of these stories that you hear about transgender
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eight-year-old, eight-year-olds whose parents are so accepting of it, which is by the way,
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their parents are abusive and should be in prison, but, um, their parents are so accepting of it.
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In almost every case, it's a boy turning into a girl. And then as you get older, the transgender
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community is the transgender community is comprised primarily of men. Why is that? Could it have
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something to do with the fact that there is a crisis of identity in American manhood? There
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is a crisis of identity because we've got these boys who grow up and they never learn what it means
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to be a man. They never learn to embrace their masculinity. They never learn to see it as a good
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and constructive and beautiful thing. They never learn to, that, that, that, you know, there's a
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place for men in society that they never learned that society needs men to be men and to do certain
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things and to, you know, men are the ones who are fighting the wars and building the bridges and
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building the buildings and protecting and providing it's men doing that mostly. I mean, men literally,
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literally built this civilization, but they don't learn that because that would be upsetting,
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you know, to the feminists and that might hurt a girl's feelings. So we can't talk about that.
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And so that means, so what do we do? We, we, all of the things that men uniquely contribute,
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we say, you can't talk about that. No, you don't, you're not unique at all. You don't contribute
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anything special at all. Shut up. You're sexist patriarchy. How dare you suggest that there's
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anything special about being a man? There's nothing special about you. You're not special.
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Being a man is nothing. A woman could do anything that a man can do.
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That's what we say to men. But to women, we say, oh my gosh, being a woman is beautiful. It's a special.
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You could do anything. I mean, the world needs women. I mean, we need more women, CEOs and more
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women in business. We need more women in the military. We need women. We need more women.
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00:25:54.800
We need women, ghostbusters and women, superheroes. We need women all over the place. Cause you know,
1.00
00:25:58.660
we can't do just men. Women are so special.
1.00
00:26:04.920
And then a boy tries to pipe up and say, well, what about me? I'll shut up you.
0.70
00:26:08.000
And then, uh, somehow, mysteriously, we end up with a bunch of men who are feminized. And in some
00:26:23.580
cases, literally feminized. They, they, they, they literally try to become women.
1.00
00:26:28.800
I think all these things are related. And I think we need to face this, um,
00:26:36.740
because this is what our sons will face and we shouldn't look away from it.
00:26:45.280
And if we care about our sons and we love our sons, then, um, we need to prepare them to deal
00:26:49.460
with all these things because this is the world that they're entering into.
00:26:54.380
All right, everybody. Thank you for watching. And, uh, I'll talk to you tomorrow.