The Matt Walsh Show - July 29, 2023


Matt Walsh Calls Out Selfish Celebrities Who Ended Their Marriages

Topics
marriage misconceptions
Hosted by
Matt Walsh
Mentioned
Giselle Bunchen Kelsey Ballerini Tom Brady Walsh
Ep. 1193 - Congressional Hearing Puts The Incoherence Of Trans Ideology On Full Display Ep. 1194 - Lebron James Founded A School Based On Equity. It Is An Unmitigated Disaster.

Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

186.86

Word count

2,096

Sentence count

192

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Toxicity

11

sentences flagged

Hate speech

3

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Kelsea Ballerini is a country music singer, songwriter, and songwriter from the U.S.A. Kelsea and her husband, Garth Brooks, have been married for almost 20 years and have two grown children together. But after five years of marriage, Kelsea says she needs to leave Garth. She says it s no longer working for her and her family, and she doesn t want to be in a non-glittery marriage.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Marriage?
00:00:09.000 Skip to the end.
00:00:10.000 Who cares about things like vows and oaths and everything else?
00:00:13.000 Man and wife! Say man and wife! 1.00
00:00:15.000 You know, if your own immediate and uninterrupted happiness is the focal point of your marriage, it will fail.
00:00:20.000 For our daily cancellation today, we must cancel a woman named Kelsey Ballerini, who I'm told is a country star. 0.90
00:00:26.000 I know nothing about her music, but I do know everything I need to know about her personally based on a conversation she recently had during an episode of a podcast called Tell Me About It with Jade Iovine.
00:00:36.000 Now, the brief clip of this exchange, which we will play for you now, could be an extremely valuable tool, especially for young couples, young people in dating relationships.
00:00:44.000 They ask me all the time how they can know if they've selected the right partner for marriage, right?
00:00:49.000 That's the big question.
00:00:50.000 Well, here's one way.
00:00:52.000 This is a good litmus test.
00:00:53.000 Sit your girlfriend down or your boyfriend down. 1.00
00:00:55.000 Now, play the following clip for them, and then ask if they agree with the attitudes and perspectives they hear in it.
00:01:02.000 And if the answer is anything but, oh, hell no, are you kidding me?
00:01:06.000 Run.
00:01:07.000 Don't walk.
00:01:08.000 Run in the other direction.
00:01:09.000 And never look back.
00:01:10.000 So with that set up, here it is.
00:01:13.000 Teen Girl Squad!
00:01:15.000 Cheerleader! 0.87
00:01:17.000 So-and-so!
00:01:18.000 How did you know that it wasn't relationship anxiety or negative intrusive voices in your head and that it was actually like your heart speaking?
00:01:27.000 Mm-hmm.
00:01:28.000 That's a good question.
00:01:29.000 If I'm really, like, intuitive and in tune with myself and, like, my gut and my heart, the glitter wears off.
00:01:36.000 That's what happens, you know?
00:01:37.000 And then you just, you get into a phase where you just, you wait for it to come back, you know, and then sometimes it doesn't.
00:01:42.000 It is such a disservice and a dishonoring of yourself if you know something is not right and you stay.
00:01:50.000 I think when people hear about couples counseling, then they hear about a couple getting divorced, they're like, oh, it didn't work.
00:01:56.000 But oftentimes that is actually couples counseling working.
00:01:59.000 Yeah.
00:02:00.000 And I think what's so hard is having to break your own heart and someone else's in the process of saving yourself.
00:02:08.000 Okay, so the glitter wore off after five years and then Kelsey, patient woman that she is, waited around for hours, maybe even days, potentially a week, waiting to see if the magical marriage glitter would fall from the sky.
00:02:21.000 But it didn't.
00:02:22.000 And she doesn't want to be in a non-glittery marriage.
00:02:25.000 Who would?
00:02:26.000 Indeed, she says that it would be dishonoring and a disservice to herself if she were to honor her marriage vows and remain loyal to the man that she pledged her undying love and devotion to.
00:02:36.000 This honor on you, this honor on your cow.
00:02:39.000 But who cares about things like vows and oaths and everything else?
00:02:42.000 I mean, think about the glitter.
00:02:43.000 That's what matters.
00:02:45.000 So she got up and left. 0.97
00:02:46.000 Now, here's the issue with the marital insights offered by Kelsey and Jade.
00:02:51.000 What we heard in that clip is the very common and very wrong passive view of marriage and romance.
00:02:57.000 It's the idea that your relationship with your spouse is fueled by some sort of mysterious emotional force, which is often incorrectly called love.
00:03:06.000 And that as soon as your marriage runs out of this mystical fuel, all you can do is abandon it on the side of the road and hitch a ride with the next car that happens to drive by.
00:03:15.000 This view is popular in our society because it removes all responsibility and all blame from the individual.
00:03:21.000 Love is something that you fall into, right?
00:03:24.000 And there's not much you can really do to cause the one or prevent the other.
00:03:27.000 We chalk it up to irreconcilable differences.
00:03:30.000 It's all just stuff that happens.
00:03:31.000 Oops, I'm married.
00:03:32.000 Oops, I'm having an affair.
00:03:33.000 Oops, I'm divorced.
00:03:34.000 Oops, I'm married again.
00:03:36.000 Oops, I'm divorced again.
00:03:37.000 Oops, I'm lonely and isolated and everyone I've ever known resents me. 0.95
00:03:40.000 Oops, silly me.
00:03:41.000 I'm so clumsy. 0.93
00:03:43.000 But here's the reality.
00:03:44.000 These were choices every step of the way.
00:03:47.000 And the state which you find yourself in, falling in and out of, this is not love.
00:03:54.000 Because real love is an act of will.
00:03:56.000 It's a decision.
00:03:57.000 It's a conscious activity.
00:03:58.000 It's something that you do.
00:03:59.000 It's something that you live.
00:04:01.000 Okay, love is chosen.
00:04:03.000 And if it's protected and nurtured, it grows.
00:04:06.000 Love is sacrifice.
00:04:07.000 Love is effort.
00:04:08.000 Love is everything St. Paul describes in 1 Corinthians.
00:04:10.000 Love is dying to yourself.
00:04:12.000 Love is many things and none of them happen by accident.
00:04:16.000 But most of all, it's a thing you do.
00:04:17.000 It is an activity.
00:04:18.000 So Kelsey, when she talks about the glitter, what she's really describing is the infatuation
00:04:24.000 phase.
00:04:25.000 But it's all she ever had with her husband.
00:04:27.000 And once it died, rather than work towards a truly loving and self-sacrificial marriage, 0.58
00:04:31.000 she just bailed. 0.99
00:04:33.000 Of course, the other problem with this approach, aside from the fundamental misunderstanding
00:04:37.000 about the nature and meaning of love, is that it's entirely self-centered.
00:04:40.000 You know, if your own immediate and uninterrupted happiness is the focal point of your marriage,
00:04:45.000 it will fail.
00:04:46.000 If the only thing you care about is your own happiness, you will never do anything worthwhile
00:04:49.000 in your life. 0.74
00:04:50.000 You will be a failure, you will be a miserable failure for your entire life. 1.00
00:04:53.000 You will live a pathetic, meaningless life and you will die and nobody will even remember 1.00
00:04:58.000 that you existed. 1.00
00:04:59.000 If you live entirely pursuing your own happiness and nothing else.
00:05:03.000 Okay, it's not your spouse's job to make you happy every second of the day.
00:05:08.000 There is no one on this earth who exists, scratch up. 0.96
00:05:13.000 There is no one who exists in the entire universe and whose only job is to make you happy.
00:05:20.000 That doesn't exist anywhere.
00:05:21.000 And so it's not fair to put that burden on your spouse, especially since the sort of people
00:05:25.000 who expect others to make them happy all the time are also the sorts of people who are
00:05:29.000 never happy.
00:05:30.000 Which means that you have given your spouse a literally impossible job that you will then blame
00:05:34.000 them for failing to accomplish.
00:05:36.000 And if it was just Kelsey Ballerini who had these misconceptions about marriage, it wouldn't 1.00
00:05:41.000 even be worth addressing.
00:05:42.000 But tragically, these misconceptions are shared by many in our culture and it's why so many
00:05:46.000 marriages fail and so many others never even begin.
00:05:51.000 And that's why it's still worth saying today.
00:05:53.000 Unfortunately, Kelsey Ballerini is canceled.
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00:06:47.000 Giselle Bunchen, a supermodel and ex-wife of Tom Brady, is now speaking out publicly about
00:06:52.000 her divorce from the former NFL star. 1.00
00:06:54.000 Celebrities are very often shallow, self-absorbed and stupid and never does that become more 1.00
00:06:58.000 apparent than when they are trying to publicly rationalize their failed marriages. 1.00
00:07:02.000 Fox News has a story, quote, Brazilian supermodel Giselle Bunchen is breaking her silence about
00:07:07.000 their divorce from former NFL superstar Tom Brady.
00:07:10.000 The 42 year old model said the split was the death of my dream as she lost who was meant
00:07:15.000 to be her partner for life.
00:07:16.000 She lost him.
00:07:17.000 Oh, she lost him.
00:07:18.000 Did she?
00:07:19.000 Did she let go of his hand at the mall?
00:07:21.000 Did he wander off in the middle of the night?
00:07:23.000 Lost him?
00:07:24.000 No, she didn't.
00:07:25.000 She didn't lose him like you lose a pair, you know, a pair of shoes.
00:07:29.000 She chose to leave him as an active decision.
00:07:32.000 I'm not sure to what extent it was a mutual decision.
00:07:34.000 Maybe it was.
00:07:35.000 But it's certain at least that she was an active participant in the divorce.
00:07:39.000 She didn't lose anything.
00:07:40.000 She gave up.
00:07:41.000 They gave up.
00:07:42.000 But don't tell her that.
00:07:43.000 She likes to tell herself that this has all happened on its own through forces outside
00:07:48.000 of her control.
00:07:49.000 Quote, it's tough because you imagine your life was going to be a certain way and you
00:07:53.000 did everything you could.
00:07:54.000 You know, I believed in fairy tales when I was a kid.
00:07:56.000 I think it's beautiful to believe in that.
00:07:58.000 I'm so grateful.
00:07:59.000 I did.
00:08:00.000 We wanted things together.
00:08:01.000 As time goes by, we realize that we just wanted different things.
00:08:04.000 Now we have to make a choice.
00:08:05.000 That doesn't mean you don't love this person.
00:08:07.000 It just means that in order for you to be authentic and truly live that life that you
00:08:11.000 want to live, you have to have someone who can meet you in the middle, right?
00:08:15.000 It's a dance.
00:08:16.000 It's a balance.
00:08:17.000 When you love someone, you set them free to be who they are.
00:08:20.000 And if you want to fly in the same direction, then that's amazing.
00:08:23.000 Okay.
00:08:24.000 Let's clear up two things.
00:08:26.000 First, if you leave your spouse, it absolutely does mean that you don't love him.
00:08:31.000 The way that Giselle defines love, the way that our culture defines it generally is essentially
00:08:35.000 like this.
00:08:36.000 A loving action is whatever action I happen to be taking at this moment.
00:08:41.000 To love someone is to do whatever I want to do.
00:08:44.000 And this is what she means when she says the word love.
00:08:46.000 You keep using the word.
00:08:47.000 I don't think it means what you think it means.
00:08:49.000 Love is not merely a feeling.
00:08:51.000 And even if it was merely a feeling, you clearly don't feel too great about somebody if you
00:08:55.000 want to divorce them.
00:08:56.000 A faithful marriage and a divorce are both choices.
00:09:00.000 They are options actively chosen.
00:09:02.000 Giselle talks about marriage using passive language.
00:09:05.000 We grow apart.
00:09:06.000 Time goes by.
00:09:07.000 Sometimes you end up going in different directions.
00:09:11.000 It's like Tom and Giselle were two pieces of litter.
00:09:14.000 A couple of empty plastic bottles floating in a puddle, randomly bumping into each other,
00:09:19.000 and then drifting off in opposite directions.
00:09:21.000 Now, in any other situation, she is certain to speak highly and confidently of her own agency,
00:09:26.000 her strength as a fierce and independent woman.
00:09:29.000 But when it comes to making excuses for a failed marriage,
00:09:32.000 suddenly she's a helpless flower being swept along by the forces of fate.
00:09:36.000 Second, Giselle claims that her divorce was a necessary step in the pursuit of authenticity.
00:09:42.000 Now, how would you detect your own inauthenticity or your own incongruence?
00:09:47.000 Well...
00:09:48.000 She says that in order to be authentic and to live the life you want to live,
00:09:51.000 sometimes you have to break your marriage vows and destroy your family.
00:09:54.000 Oops! 0.78
00:09:55.000 But this is not authenticity.
00:09:56.000 Not in any meaningful way. 0.95
00:09:58.000 If it is authentic, it's only because you are authentically following your most cowardly 0.96
00:10:03.000 and self-serving and shallowest impulses.
00:10:06.000 But there is a higher authenticity, right?
00:10:08.000 There is an authenticity that we should actually strive towards.
00:10:12.000 And that is the authenticity of a virtuous life.
00:10:16.000 The authenticity of faithfulness and love and sacrifice.
00:10:21.000 The authenticity of promises kept and vows upheld.
00:10:26.000 True authenticity can be found in the pursuit of something greater than yourself,
00:10:31.000 which is what marriage is all about, or what it's supposed to be.
00:10:34.000 And that's what Giselle has abandoned. 0.56
00:10:37.000 And that's why she is today, finally, cancelled.
00:10:41.000 That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
00:10:46.000 It won't be the last.
00:10:48.000 What is life?
00:10:49.000 What is life?
00:10:50.000 What is life?
00:10:54.000 What is life?
00:10:56.000 Yeah!
00:10:57.000 What is life?