Matt Walsh Ranks The BEST Rappers Of All Time
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
180.30766
Summary
In this episode, I rank the 4 greatest rap songs of all time, starting with one of my favorite: Back in Blood by Mr. Pooh Shiesty. I also give my thoughts on the recent death of a young black man who died at the hands of the American justice system.
Transcript
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You know, I've had a lot going on over the past couple of years.
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You know, I've become a best-selling children's author, as you know,
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a transphobe of the year, among other accolades.
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But many people don't realize where this all started for me,
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I am really a music critic and specifically a rap critic.
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So today I'm getting back to my roots a little bit,
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where it all began, and as not so much a rap critic,
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but as a rap appreciator, an analyst, a scholar of the genre.
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And on that note, I am now going to give, for some reason,
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but it's going to be the four greatest rap songs of all time.
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but we're going to settle that debate once and for all.
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First on the list is a name that longtime listeners of this show
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We begin at number four with my guy, Pooh Shiesty.
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He's also innocent of the armed robbery charges
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I mean, truly, this is the song that, for me, signals that we're living through another age
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of artistic brilliance. You know, this is how the people who were alive during the Renaissance
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probably felt. They had Michelangelo and Da Vinci. We have Lil Xan. Now, there are some who will look
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at that comparison and say that it's evidence that the world's coming to an end, that art is dead,
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that we're the dumbest generation of humans to ever walk the earth. There are some who will
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listen to Lil Xan and lose their will to live. But those people just aren't able to hear and
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understand the true lyrical and musical and poetic genius of Lil Xan. Because listen to these lyrics
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again. Okay, just to recite the lyrics again. I wake up, I throw up, I feel like I'm dead.
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A, I f*** the game up. Yeah. I drew the game up. Yeah. We do not play, bruh. Yeah. In my own lane,
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bruh. Ooh. That b***h is lame, bruh. Listen to that there. That b***h is lame, bruh. You know you
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as a lame hoe. My b***h from overstate. What you mean, what you mean, what you mean, yeah. Indeed.
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What do you mean? What does he mean? What does anything mean? And I think that is the point
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that Lil Xan is trying to make. He's trying to capture the primal essence of a man looking out
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into the world and seeing chaos and randomness from his perspective everywhere, not understanding,
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not comprehending. It's the fear of non-comprehension, I think, is what Lil Xan is trying to capture.
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He's quite ingeniously, I think, bringing out that visceral bewilderment, that confusion that we all
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sometimes experience when we look at the state of the world. What you mean, he asks. But he's not
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asking. He's imploring. He's saying to you, ask the question, what does it all mean? It's not so
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much a song as a desperate plea, a cry from the darkness, beseeching the listener to question,
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to think, to search, and to learn. And that brings us finally to the greatest rap song of all time.
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This is a song that has garnered 840 million views on YouTube, nearly a billion, okay, nearly a billion
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views to this masterpiece. As you probably expect, it's a song from my favorite, personal favorite
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artist of all time, Tekashi69, and it's called Gooba. Let's listen.
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Now we catch him at the chicken spot, hop a couple chops, pop that nigga with a hundred
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shots, da-da-da-da-da-da, they didn't make that nigga diddy bop, cha-cha-cha-cha-cha,
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heat the windows going knuckle up, bitch I don't box, and these bitches always talking
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shit, yaddy-yaddy-yaddy-yad, when you see me, what you talking about, what you talking
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about, bitches always wanna chase clout, bitch I am clout, tell them get up on my face now,
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fucker. Are you dumb? Stupid or dumb? Huh? Play me like a dummy, like, are you dumb? Are you
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My God, it's really stunning to encounter raw, unvarnished, artistic brilliance like that.
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Now we catch him at the chicken spot, up a couple chops, put that n-word with a hundred
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shots, ra-ta-ta-ta, day-day made that n-word diddy bop, cha-cha-cha-cha, he thought he was
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gonna knuckle up, bitch, I don't box, and these n-words always talking shit,
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shit, yadda-yadda-yad, when you see me, what you talking about, fuck you talking about,
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listen to this part, n-words always wanna chase clout, bitch, I am clout. Now when you hear
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that, the first thing you think is, well first you think, wait a minute, isn't Tekashi69
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Mexican or something, and so why is he allowed to use the n-word so freely, what's going on
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here? The second thing you think is, wow, this makes me angry, it makes me angry at Beethoven
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and Mozart, that they never made music half as profound as this.
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It makes me glad that they're dead, and that they are an ash in the ground, because they
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We could obviously spend all day dissecting the lyrics, but this, the part that really stuck
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out at me again was when he said, and these n-words always talking sh**, yadda-yadda-yad,
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when you see me, what you talking about, f*** you talking about, they always wanna chase
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clout, I am clout. When I hear those lyrics, what I think Tekashi69 is trying to convey
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is like the futility of words, of speech, compared with action. You know, he says, what you talking
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about, n-words always talking sh**. This is a man who's not so much lashing out at his enemies,
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but rather at, in many ways, the lethargy and ambivalence of the modern age. He's saying,
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don't sit still, okay? Don't stand off to the side thinking you can substitute words
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for action. This is very much like Roosevelt's man in the arena speech, except in every way
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better and more eloquent. Tekashi69 implores us to be men of action. B***h, I am clout,
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he says. This is an ode to the act of becoming, to the process of doing, of acting, in which
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we are all transformed. That's what I take from the song anyway, and it is why I believe
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that it is the greatest rap song of all time. Indeed, probably the greatest song, period,
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Couldn't remember the greatest song in the world now, now, now, this is a ship you love.