The Matt Walsh Show - Matt Walsh Reacts To TikTok Marriage Advice

00:00:00.000 So for everybody's favorite communist holiday Labor Day we thought we'd come 0.95

00:00:17.520 outside and do a little cookout again with our favorite company Good Ranchers

00:00:22.640 who have supplied all the food and we're also we've returned to my roots in my

00:00:26.440 old studio here behind in front of the sheet now that we're here actually I'm

00:00:30.760 not exactly sure why we have the sheet here it doesn't make a lot of sense but

00:00:33.220 we have it so we're just gonna roll with it and you know as we tend to do as any

00:00:37.000 good dad as I'm flipping burgers here we're gonna I'm gonna give a little bit

00:00:39.940 of advice based on the tick-tock marriage advice that's out there so it's really

00:00:46.240 gonna be more of a corrective we'll watch some of those videos I'll tell you why

00:00:49.720 they're wrong and then I'll tell you what the actual good advice is so let's go

00:00:53.380 what is the best age to get married it's not in your 20s it's a better idea for

00:01:06.940 you to get married in your 30s because you've gone through all the changes and

00:01:11.200 you are more settled you come into your own in your 30s and I think that's a

00:01:17.560 very good time to get married I got married when I was 30 and I'm married for

00:01:22.960 41 years now all right so that's a relationship advice from a divorce lawyer

00:01:30.880 so that we know we're already on the wrong foot here like taking relationship

00:01:35.200 advice from a divorce lawyer it's like I don't know taking advice from a shark

00:01:40.060 on where the best swimming spots are there's a there's a real conflict of

00:01:43.780 interest there and so she says we should wait till you're in your 30s to get

00:01:47.620 married and she knows because she is very good at she's very good at breaking up 0.91

00:01:51.840 marriages helping marriages dissolve and so we're supposed to take her advice now 0.75

00:01:55.740 look you could get married at any time in your adult life and potentially have a

00:02:00.840 successful marriage there are people who get married in their 60s and you know

00:02:03.600 it's death to do we part now it's that way it's kind of easier actually when you

00:02:07.440 get married very late because you don't have very long until your death and so you

00:02:10.600 can have that success in that sense kind of running out the clock I guess but as in

00:02:15.840 general like what should we advise people to do as a general policy we should obviously advise

00:02:21.840 them to get married younger and there are a couple reasons for that one reason is that

00:02:26.840 biology exists okay despite what we hear from the left biology is a real phenomenon and what

00:02:33.740 that means is that our biological clocks are ticking especially for women so if you wait until 1.00

00:02:37.140 your mid-30s to get married it might be too late to have a family my wife is married with our number 0.92

00:02:42.840 five and six right now okay and uh because we like to do we like to double up when we have kids

00:02:47.880 and they're already telling you she's 35 they told her this is this technically counts as a geriatric

00:02:52.860 pregnancy at the age of 35 that's real so she's like that's what it is so you're gonna wait until 1.00

00:02:58.420 you're in geriatric pregnancy mode to get married to begin with doesn't make a lot of sense and also

00:03:03.420 the other point is that if you get married younger than you're building a life with someone rather than

00:03:09.240 building your adult life first and then trying to inject somebody else into it and that can cause

00:03:14.680 problems because then you feel like well this is mine this is my life and you feel like they're

00:03:19.000 intruding on it there's real value in starting young and like being on the ground floor together

00:03:24.260 as you build your life together so that's terrible advice let's uh check out the next one

00:03:29.660 this has completely changed our relationship so at the beginning of every month you write down new

00:03:38.080 ways that you can love your person either things you can do for them or things you can do with

00:03:42.060 them and you cut up the pieces of paper you fold it and you put it in something to pull from and then

00:03:46.660 every morning you both choose one piece of paper and find time just to do that one thing it forces

00:03:52.320 you to be intentional and it works do it is it american oh it's a lesbian okay it's a lesbian thing 0.99

00:03:58.520 all right this is what we're doing a uh a cookout in the parking lot there's someone loading a truck

00:04:05.980 plan so i don't know if you can hear that but anyway so what we hear from from from that relationship

00:04:09.800 advice is that you want to write little cute things you're going to do for each other and put

00:04:13.900 it on a slip of paper and then put it into a hat and pick it out of the hat at the beginning of the

00:04:18.140 day this is what happens when you get relationship advice from someone who's never like been in a

00:04:23.060 relationship that's the kind of idea it's like if you're 16 years old that's the kind of idea your

00:04:28.120 girlfriend might have and it's just it's in reality like living your everyday life you're not going to

00:04:32.860 stick first of all you're not going to stick to a plan like that if my if my wife came to me and

00:04:37.260 said oh we're gonna we're gonna write our goals for each other in slips of paper and we're gonna

00:04:41.000 pick it out of a what i'm not gonna do that what the hell are you talking about we're gonna i got we 0.65

00:04:46.780 have kids to deal with but we don't have time for this also if you can think of good ways to act

00:04:52.460 towards your spouse just do that don't don't write it on paper because how does that work it's like

00:04:58.720 if your wife comes to you and says oh i want you to i want you to listen more to me you're not

00:05:02.000 listening enough and then i say oh sorry it wasn't on the slip of paper today i just i didn't pull

00:05:05.620 it out that's why i can't do that one if you have good ideas of how you're supposed to treat

00:05:09.940 your spouse just enact it right away start living that don't try to turn it into a cute little game 0.88

00:05:16.180 more terrible advice what else do we got my husband and i recently changed something in

00:05:21.620 our communication and let me tell you it has changed everything our new house rule is every time

00:05:27.080 that you have some constructive criticism for the other person you have to lead with two positive

00:05:34.220 reinforcing comments one has to be physical and one has to be mental for example the other day

00:05:40.420 my husband decided that he didn't like the way i dried off our cutting knives so instead of just

00:05:45.320 coming to me after a long day of being a mom and abruptly telling me that he needs me to dry off the

00:05:51.360 knives better he started with the two compliment rule he said hannah i can tell that you have been

00:05:57.280 working really hard as a mom this week and that does not go unnoticed and then he told me that my

00:06:03.240 butt looked cute in my jeans do you think that you could maybe do a little bit of a better job drying off

00:06:07.480 these cutting knives in the end this small change in our communication has drastically changed the

00:06:12.700 dynamic of everything this week has felt lighter we've had more fun and i feel like we've gotten in

00:06:17.780 less fights so i hope this helps uh no it doesn't help okay that bullshit advice does not help 0.62

00:06:23.660 first of all that's a trap man to begin with so when when your wife comes to you and says

00:06:28.660 oh no i can take constructive criticism but just say something positive first that's not it's not

00:06:33.960 going to work in practice okay because you could you could you could lead with 50 things you like

00:06:38.840 about them you could spend an hour listing honey this is what i love about you and then just spend an

00:06:43.220 hour listing stuff as soon as you get to the bad thing that's all that's that's the headline right

00:06:47.620 there and all the other stuff dissipates okay it evaporates so just don't believe that in the

00:06:52.340 first place and then on the other end of it as a man i don't want that don't come to me

00:06:56.580 what i don't i know the setup just get to the point so as soon as my wife comes in and says uh honey 1.00

00:07:03.240 you know i i really like how you ironed your pants this morning and i think you're a nice person okay

00:07:09.380 yeah what you're about to criticize me get to the get to it come on what is it going to be what did i do

00:07:13.380 this time just what what helps more in a marriage take it from me is just to be direct and get to

00:07:20.500 the point cut to the chase if you have a problem say it and then you move on with your lives because

00:07:26.660 everything we're hearing so far from tiktok is just ways of like drawing all this out and making it into

00:07:32.620 a bigger deal than it needs to be just say she didn't do a good job drying off the cutting knives 1.00

00:07:37.920 is that the complaint that seems like a pretty petty thing to complain about in the first place but if

00:07:42.560 you if that's an issue for you just go and tell her honey dry the cutting knives next time okay look

00:07:47.600 at the streaks on it you're causing problems that's all you got to do no problem all right what do we got

00:08:05.040 so

00:08:14.720 so

00:08:25.520 wow

00:08:35.040 okay that's it that's all i get the point first of all i'm just burning the hell out of these 0.55

00:08:42.840 burgers it's not my fault this is this tiktok has distracted me don't use tiktok while you're

00:08:49.060 while you're over an open flame okay that's the first bit of advice second is if you're making

00:08:54.440 a tiktok video why just say what you want once again this is the theme get to the point what is

00:08:59.320 the thing on tiktok now where they don't even speak they just look into the camera while there

00:09:03.140 are words coming up on the screen i did that a few weeks ago because i i was i'm a laryngitis

00:09:07.460 survivor so if you have laryngitis if you're mute or something i understand it but i don't think

00:09:11.540 that's the case for her and what's the point that she's making she's saying uh well women sometimes 1.00

00:09:17.940 feel unappreciated and then she's going through the list of all the things that you know the wife 0.99

00:09:22.940 deals with and she's dealing with the kids and she has to clean the house and all that kind of stuff 1.00

00:09:26.120 and and i get it but the thing that will kill a marriage more than anything is self-pity okay so

00:09:34.760 that's what when i watch that video i don't see a woman who's like put upon and oppressed everything 1.00

00:09:40.740 she's listing that's just part of life we all have roles in life and work is part of life so whether

00:09:47.520 you're a man or woman whatever you're doing in the house you're gonna have to work when you have 1.00

00:09:51.120 kids even more so it just it takes work so you're working the husband's working everybody's working

00:09:56.620 all the time we've got the sad piano music and she's listing all these really normal things she

00:10:01.400 has to do in her life i'm not seeing a problem of a woman being oppressed i'm seeing a problem of 0.91

00:10:06.020 someone who is drowning in self-pity to the point of they're like even putting their own story up on

00:10:11.420 tiktok with sad piano music in the background get over yourself realize that life is work

00:10:18.260 life is suffering and once you come to accept that you'll have if not joy maybe some contentment

00:10:25.980 i say this to my wife all the time she loves it when i say that to her what's next you know how when

00:10:33.440 you ask me what i want to eat and then i say i don't know and then we go in circles and then

00:10:39.220 sometimes we even get in an argument about that or like you ask me like what i want to do and then

00:10:43.500 i'm like i don't know and then it's the notebook scene okay what do you want it's not that simple

00:10:48.540 i feel like i i do know but i'm saying i don't know because i wish you would just be in your

00:10:53.980 masculine and take the lead and it makes me feel like i have to make all the decisions and decide

00:10:59.120 everything and it like it kind of pisses me off and so i'm saying i don't know because i wish you

00:11:03.720 would just take the lead okay so you want me to take the lead actually more and especially in

00:11:11.420 decision making processes yeah because you feel like you're being in the masculine role you know

00:11:17.200 the irony is i'm trying not to be toxic masculine i'm trying not to be disrespectful and so i'm trying

00:11:23.980 to make sure and give you an equal say an equal you know option and opinion i'm actually trying to

00:11:29.400 help you feel included in that decision making process but what i'm hearing is actually that

00:11:33.620 you don't necessarily want that yeah i mean i don't feel like you need to worry about being

00:11:38.880 domineering unless you were going to like force me to do something and like no i said we're doing

00:11:43.300 this today like you don't have a say that would be domineering but when you take the lead and then

00:11:47.700 you're open to me being like no actually you know i don't want that then that's really healthy so

00:11:52.860 but i actually really prefer you to take the lead to make decisions so i can be in my feminine and i

00:11:57.820 actually love most of the decisions that you make and it feels good awesome all right good so

00:12:05.260 finally a little bit of sanity you see glimmers of it every once in a while on tiktok and uh i never

00:12:14.300 thought i'd find it on a channel called what was that channel called the yoga the yoga couple well so

00:12:20.760 before we get that here's the bad news the woman is married to this guy and she wants him to be 1.00

00:12:26.460 masculine well unfortunately for you you married a guy with long hair who does yoga so that was out

00:12:33.220 the window to begin with but now it's actually very sad because she's like i married this overgrown 0.87

00:12:38.800 child uh i married a guy that looks like you know a 15 year old sporting his first goatee and she just

00:12:46.960 wants masculinity in the marriage but she can't have it so it's a very sad and tragic thing meanwhile this

00:12:52.260 guy has been conditioned by society that toxic masculinity is bad and you know we want to have

00:12:58.860 equality of the sexes and this is what he's been told and so he's been living that way and now he's

00:13:04.440 being told by his wife no i actually want you to be a man because that's what you are and he's sitting

00:13:09.380 there like oh really you mean you you want me to be a man you want the man to be a man i didn't know

00:13:15.260 i'm sorry because that's the reality no matter what we're told by society we're trying you know

00:13:20.760 society tries to condition us away from our natural inclinations you know from from natural law in many

00:13:29.220 ways but no matter what they do it can't change it is that in in most scenarios a woman is with a man

00:13:37.840 because she wants a man a man's with a woman because he wants a woman and yes she wants you to take the 0.99

00:13:43.180 lead now she might not like it when you put it like that okay so deciding where you're going to

00:13:48.680 eat she might not want you to say honey i'll take the lead here i'll tell you where we're going to

00:13:51.780 eat she doesn't want you to say that she just wants you to do it decide where you're going to eat

00:13:55.140 and tell her and you know she'll live with it so that's good advice that one you can take to the bank

00:14:01.240 all the rest of it you can toss into the wood chipper like so much else that we get on tiktok

00:14:06.520 and uh i think i'll just get to grilling these pieces of charcoal that i have here

00:14:11.380 uh remember good ranchers is where you should get all your meat and uh also have a great labor day

00:14:18.200 you communists

00:14:19.820 end of your life

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The Matt Walsh Show - September 05, 2022

Matt Walsh Reacts To TikTok Marriage Advice

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