The Matt Walsh Show - December 29, 2022


Matt Walsh Relives The Most Annoying TikToks Of The Year


Episode Stats


Length

13 minutes

Words per minute

178.30377

Word count

2,403

Sentence count

198

Harmful content

Misogyny

7

sentences flagged

Hate speech

11

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

TikTok has been a scourge on society. It s ruining our kids' minds and souls. China is spying on us. But it s been great for content, and that s all that really matters. And so this is a little bit of a retrospective for TikTok as we head into the new year. Let s go back and watch again and reflect briefly upon the worst TikToks of the year.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Well, we all know that TikTok has been a scourge on society.
00:00:04.400 It's ruining our kids' minds and souls, turning them into zombies.
00:00:09.060 China is spying on us. It's been a disaster. 0.99
00:00:11.740 But it's been great for content, and that's all that really matters.
00:00:15.200 Hello! I like money!
00:00:17.000 And so this is a little bit of a retrospective for TikTok as we head into the new year.
00:00:21.540 Let's go back and watch again and reflect briefly upon the worst TikToks of the year, or best, depending on how you look at it.
00:00:33.080 No introduction needed for these videos. You'll remember many of them.
00:00:36.840 These are the, I guess we'll do the six worst TikToks.
00:00:41.140 Why six? Because it brings to mind 666, the number of Satan seems to apply.
00:00:45.640 So let's get into it.
00:00:46.640 Controversial opinion, but if you have a token white, and you're hanging out with your friend group of color,
00:00:54.720 you need to ask permission from everybody in the group to bring your white friend. 0.52
00:00:59.640 Like, don't just bring them. Ask for explicit permission from everyone.
00:01:03.800 Because just because you're comfortable with them doesn't mean that everybody's comfortable with them.
00:01:07.960 I might not be in the mood to deal with white shenanigans that day. That's all I'm saying. 1.00
00:01:11.560 And another thing, it feeds into their ego.
00:01:14.220 Like, don't let them think they're a good white person. 0.77
00:01:16.640 Don't give them that card to use against other people. Please don't do that.
00:01:21.160 I do appreciate at least the phrase white shenanigans. 1.00
00:01:23.600 Maybe that'll be my, one day that'll be the title of my memoir, White Shenanigans.
00:01:28.840 The irony here, of course, is that this person, what is her name?
00:01:33.200 Sriracha Lesbian.
00:01:35.400 See? Exactly. That's the person nobody wants to be around.
00:01:38.160 So whenever someone is like, oh, hey, should I invite Sriracha Lesbian out tonight? 0.99
00:01:43.080 Everyone goes, her? No. Why would you do that? We don't want to be around her. 0.52
00:01:46.640 You know, if this is a white woman doing a video about how if you are in a white friend group,
00:01:51.960 you should ask permission before inviting your black friend, 0.97
00:01:55.960 because not all of your white friends will be in the mood for black shenanigans.
00:02:00.120 If she said that, it would just, she'd literally go to prison for that.
00:02:03.160 Hi, kids. There's no such thing as a boy or a girl, and I can prove it. 1.00
00:02:10.520 So gather around the family, the parents, everybody, answer my questions.
00:02:15.360 You either say boys or girls.
00:02:17.920 Who's usually taller?
00:02:19.480 Oh, boys? Okay.
00:02:23.340 But you've met some short boys, right?
00:02:25.500 You've met some tall girls. 1.00
00:02:26.820 So usually boys are taller, but not always.
00:02:30.520 Okay.
00:02:31.220 Who likes the color pink?
00:02:34.440 Girls? 0.96
00:02:35.500 Okay.
00:02:36.440 But you've met girls who don't like pink. 0.99
00:02:38.560 And you met boys who do like pink.
00:02:40.940 So usually girls like pink, but not always.
00:02:43.660 Everything you can think of that makes a boy or makes a girl is usually, but not always.
00:02:53.400 And some of them are not even usually.
00:02:56.000 Where does that leave you?
00:02:57.900 Free.
00:02:59.000 You get to like what you like.
00:03:00.580 You get to be who you are.
00:03:04.640 Maybe you're even like me, and you're not a boy or a girl.
00:03:09.920 Yes, it's our friend from Silence of the Lambs there.
00:03:12.780 In a way, I'm always impressed with this guy because it's not easy to be the creepiest son of a bitch on the internet.
00:03:20.660 It's a bit like being the fattest guy at Golden Corral.
00:03:23.320 You have to work for that.
00:03:24.820 You've got to earn that one.
00:03:26.240 And this guy is working hard.
00:03:27.620 Pretty, pretty.
00:03:29.580 Pretty, pretty.
00:03:31.220 But let's not allow that to distract us from the fact of just how nonsensical his point is in this video.
00:03:38.280 You know, he says that there is no such thing.
00:03:41.060 Remember, that's the claim.
00:03:41.800 There is no such thing as a boy or a girl because some girls don't like the color pink, and some boys aren't taller than girls.
00:03:48.520 I once saw a midget elephant that was smaller than a horse.
00:03:53.760 Therefore, elephants and horses don't exist.
00:03:57.680 That's not how this works.
00:04:00.140 Like, in order for boys to exist and girls to exist, that doesn't mean that every single boy has to look.
00:04:05.440 It doesn't mean that they all have to be identical twins.
00:04:08.100 No one's claiming that the entire world is made up of identical.
00:04:11.740 There's identical boys and identical girls, and that's all that exists in the world.
00:04:14.440 No one is saying that.
00:04:16.000 It's a category, and then there are many variations within the category.
00:04:20.580 Another inspiring message from TikTok.
00:04:22.080 Welcome to a day in my life as a Twitter employee.
00:04:26.420 So, this past week, went to SF for the first time at a Twitter office, badged in.
00:04:32.420 Honestly, took a moment to just soak everything in.
00:04:35.280 What a blessing.
00:04:36.780 Also, started my morning off with an iced matcha from the perch.
00:04:40.420 Then I had a meeting.
00:04:41.400 So, quickly scheduled one of these little pod rooms, which were so cool.
00:04:46.400 They're literally noise-canceling.
00:04:47.960 Took my meeting, got ready for a bunch.
00:04:50.620 Look how delicious this food looks.
00:04:52.860 Oh my goodness, I was so overwhelmed.
00:04:55.600 Then, made my way down to this log cabin area.
00:04:58.740 I don't know what this is, but it was really cool.
00:05:01.480 Played some foosball with my friends to kind of unwind a bit.
00:05:05.260 Um, also found this really cool meditation room that I thought was super neat.
00:05:12.360 Um, I didn't do any yoga, but they have this yoga room if you are a yogi.
00:05:17.060 So, also thought that was really cool.
00:05:19.680 Um, had a couple more meetings in the afternoon.
00:05:22.280 Had a ton of projects that we needed to knock out.
00:05:24.480 Say hi to my teammates.
00:05:25.980 Um, went to the, went to the library to kind of get some more work done.
00:05:30.880 And, obviously, had to have our afternoon coffee, so made some espresso.
00:05:35.720 All right, that was what, simpler times for that Twitter employee.
00:05:38.720 May she rest in peace.
00:05:39.720 Assuming that, uh, she's one of the ones who got fired. 0.91
00:05:42.660 Which I think we can assume that she is.
00:05:44.140 Because, I mean, after all, she apparently had projects she needed to knock out.
00:05:47.900 And yet, she had spent the entire day up until that point meditating and playing foosball.
00:05:52.860 Yeah, I had some, uh, mocha latte.
00:05:55.680 And I was drinking some wine.
00:05:57.000 And I was, I had a, went for a picnic, played some video games, took a quick nap.
00:06:02.920 And then we knocked out some projects.
00:06:05.220 Your, your job is in trouble.
00:06:06.980 Like, you are, you are not an indispensable member of the team if you have time in the
00:06:12.140 day for foosball.
00:06:14.680 And many Twitter employees, after that video, shortly after the video was published, they
00:06:18.520 learn that lesson the hard way.
00:06:19.840 Well, if you're someone who has always wanted to read the Bible and understand the Bible,
00:06:23.740 but you're not sure where to start, then check out the Bible in a Year podcast from
00:06:27.720 Ascension.
00:06:28.460 Bible in a Year podcast is currently the most popular religion podcast in the U.S.
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00:06:33.740 And twice, it's hit the number one spot on Apple Podcasts.
00:06:36.480 In the Bible in a Year, Father Mike Schmitz reads the entire Bible in 365 daily episodes,
00:06:42.380 providing helpful commentary, reflection, and prayer along the way.
00:06:45.560 What better way to start the new year?
00:06:46.900 You can find the Bible in a Year podcast with Father Mike Schmitz for free in your favorite
00:06:51.040 podcast app or on YouTube.
00:06:52.540 Plus, you can follow along with a special reading plan to help you better understand
00:06:56.420 the story.
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00:07:00.960 the books of the Bible in a way that helps listeners understand the story.
00:07:04.300 You can get this reading plan at ascensionpress.com slash Walsh.
00:07:07.340 If you want to start reading, more importantly, understanding the Bible this year, go to ascensionpress.com
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00:07:14.780 It's ascensionpress.com slash Walsh to download the reading plan for free.
00:07:19.360 You know what I think we need?
00:07:21.400 A good old-fashioned sleepover!
00:07:24.480 So much of what I'm doing online is reliving the moments of girlhood that I missed out on,
00:07:29.700 including sleepovers, where I could be silly with my friends all night long without a care
00:07:34.840 in the world.
00:07:35.560 So I put together a Dylan's Sleepover Essentials list on Instacart that y'all can shop to get
00:07:41.820 my dream sleepover experience.
00:07:45.700 Speaking of, my order is here.
00:07:48.920 I have the delivery.
00:07:50.420 First things first.
00:07:51.400 Skincare!
00:07:52.540 And I'm warning you beforehand, I eat mostly junk food, but we're having a sleepover, so
00:07:57.240 it's allowed.
00:07:58.140 The pizza's ready.
00:08:00.360 I actually have to correct myself because I said that the other guy was the creepiest son
00:08:04.220 of a bitch on the internet, but actually Dylan Mulvaney holds that title, so I do apologize
00:08:07.340 to Dylan Mulvaney for that.
00:08:08.420 I totally want to cut off your skin and wear it to my birthday. 1.00
00:08:12.760 The other guy is then, you know, analogous to only the second fattest guy at Golden Corral,
00:08:18.620 which is the worst thing that you could be.
00:08:19.860 You might as well just be skinny at that point.
00:08:21.960 And Dylan Mulvaney, of course, famous for his imitation, woman face, probably one of the 1.00
00:08:29.340 defining things of 2022, which tells you everything you need to know about this year, I suppose.
00:08:34.000 Do you even know how to do your job?
00:08:36.160 I don't understand what...
00:08:39.060 Hey, Veronica, I'm going to have you take this home and work on it tonight, okay?
00:08:43.080 Respectfully, Susan, I'd rather spend time with my family.
00:08:49.820 Veronica, did you just decline the Zoom meeting that's at 6.30 tonight?
00:08:53.860 Oh, yeah, I did.
00:08:54.840 I did do that.
00:08:55.420 Yeah, because it's outside of my working hours, 9 to 5, so I won't be attending.
00:08:59.820 All right, Veronica, I do need you to be available during your vacation, okay?
00:09:04.800 Susan, you'll be blocked on my vacation because I won't be answering.
00:09:13.220 Okay, Veronica, I'm going to need you to complete all of this today.
00:09:17.440 Susan, do I look like two people to you?
00:09:19.820 No.
00:09:20.700 Oh, okay, just making sure, because that looks like the work of two people, right?
00:09:24.700 Right?
00:09:24.940 And I'm one.
00:09:25.620 I'm just one person, right?
00:09:26.920 And it's time to go home, 5 o'clock.
00:09:33.460 Hey, thank you, bye.
00:09:35.220 The most annoying TikTok of the year.
00:09:37.100 This is the, of course, the act-your-wage phenomenon, otherwise known as quiet quitting.
00:09:41.240 You know, it's not going to benefit you to be both obnoxious and lazy on the job.
00:09:50.440 You might be able to get away with one or the other, okay?
00:09:53.400 So if you're lazy, but you're also really a pleasure to be around, and you're very personable and very nice and people like you, then you might survive.
00:10:05.420 You might actually be able to coast through and find some measure of success in life just based on it.
00:10:09.140 It's a risk, okay?
00:10:10.760 But you might be able to do it.
00:10:12.020 On the other hand, if you're totally obnoxious and miserable and people hate you, but you work hard and you're very good, then you might be able to skate by that way because they can't get rid of you because of the work that you do.
00:10:24.260 So combining both of those things together, as this woman has done, then you're totally relying on affirmative action and diversity, equity, and inclusion to save you and to bring you to, you know, be the thing that escorts you towards success in life.
00:10:41.140 If you're a white man, that's not on the, that's not in the cards, not on the table.
00:10:44.700 For her, maybe.
00:10:46.680 I don't think she checks enough identity boxes to get away with it.
00:10:49.560 If you decide to live that way, don't come back around complaining when you are a total failure in life because this is the path that you have chosen.
00:11:01.740 And also don't ask for me to pay for your student loans.
00:11:05.340 All right, let's get to our last one.
00:11:07.480 I have thin privilege.
00:11:10.640 But I'm so fat.
00:11:12.520 I'm like a size 20, 22.
00:11:14.960 How can I possibly have thin privilege?
00:11:16.940 Because there are people who are fatter than me.
00:11:20.420 When I go on a plane, I might need a seatbelt extender.
00:11:24.180 I might be uncomfortable.
00:11:25.620 I may not feel good.
00:11:26.700 People may say sh** to me.
00:11:28.820 But I don't need to buy a second seat or risk getting kicked off the plane.
00:11:33.380 That means that I have privilege compared to people who have that experience.
00:11:37.980 You may not even need a seatbelt extender.
00:11:41.080 If that's the case, then you have privilege compared to me.
00:11:44.300 Somebody who is a model size may have privilege compared to you.
00:11:49.340 But that doesn't mean you don't have any privilege.
00:11:51.980 Almost all of us have some thin privilege.
00:11:54.880 It's a spectrum and it goes by degrees.
00:11:57.540 You have thin privilege if you only need one seatbelt extender on the plane.
00:12:02.940 If you don't need a second seatbelt extender, then you count as thin now.
00:12:07.240 Once that happens, it's just like the game is over and there are no standards anymore.
00:12:13.020 All that being said, there are, if you would like, privileges to being actually thin or at least not morbidly obese.
00:12:23.580 You don't have to turn sideways to fit through a doorframe.
00:12:26.620 That's, you might say, a privilege compared to the alternative.
00:12:31.060 But here's the thing.
00:12:32.700 It's also, it's accessible to anyone.
00:12:35.900 This is not being born with a silver spoon.
00:12:38.280 This is not the privilege of someone who's, you know, a trust fund baby.
00:12:42.480 Kind of thing that's not accessible to everyone.
00:12:44.260 Either you're a trust fund baby or you're not.
00:12:45.720 But this is accessible to anyone.
00:12:47.340 So if there is thin privilege, if that concept makes sense, the good news is anyone can have it.
00:12:53.000 Price of admission is a salad and some sit-ups.
00:12:57.040 Price of admission is a salad and some sit-ups and some sit-ups and some sit-ups and some sit-ups.
00:13:01.460 All the brands of crazy, I think, covered in these TikToks.
00:13:05.740 Many more where those came from.
00:13:07.340 It was, all in all, a psychotic year on TikTok and across the country.
00:13:12.860 And we're looking forward to an even more darkly insane and depressing year next year.
00:13:19.540 So, Happy New Year.
00:13:27.040 Happy New Year.
00:13:28.040 Happy New Year.