Matt Walsh Reviews Polyamorous Couples Of TikTok
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
180.8559
Summary
Polyamory, the polyamorous community on Tik TokTok, is a term used to describe a group of people who are in open relationships with other people. What does it mean and why does it exist? And what does it have to do with marriage?
Transcript
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So now we have another occasion where Sean, my producer, has enlisted me to endure psychological
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and emotional abuse for your amusement. And this time we are descending into the
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caverns of TikTok again to explore the polyamorous community. I'm not a COVID germophobe by any
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means, but this is one occasion where a mask and especially gloves, rubber gloves, might be
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required. So apparently on TikTok, a whole bunch of people are in open relationships,
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polyamorous relationships, and they've made videos advertising and explaining and defending
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their lifestyle. I find it so sad and pathetic that I don't think I can watch very many of them,
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but we'll watch maybe two or three of them just to see, just to get a little taste. And we'll start
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with an easy one. Let's look at this one here. Just mind your business, right? Well,
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accept that your husband's sexual activity is your business. If you didn't intend to share in
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that business with him to in effect, make it your business exclusively, like exclusively your
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business, exclusively, then why did you marry him? In what sense is this even a marriage? For what
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reason is it a marriage? But then we go down a rabbit hole that people don't want to go down,
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of course, which is like, now we got to come up with a definition of marriage. What is it exactly?
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And once you start doing that, then you're drawing lines and you might find that we're excluding
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certain types of relationships that you would prefer to include. And that's why we don't
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define it at all. And now we have to call this a marriage also. You know what this is like? It's
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like going into business as an accountant and then your first client sends their tax documents over
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to you and you go, whoa, wait a second. That's none of my business. Your financial information
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Well, yeah, it's private, but the accountant-client relationship is supposed to largely center
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around private information. That's the whole point.
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I might've lost the thread in that analogy a little bit. I don't know where I was going.
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I think I made a point there. I'm pretty sure, but let's keep watching.
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So my husband casually dropped today that he met this chick on Bumble that's only in town for a week,
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so we all know what that means. So I sent him a text like, babe, live your best life. If this thing
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goes online, you want to go back to her Airbnb, you want to stay so that you can hit it in the
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morning again, live your best life, babe. I got it here at home. Why did I do it? Because I'm such
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a good polyamorous wife, first of all. But also because you put that karma in the bank and then
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y'all girl's going to cash it out later. If you want to be good at polyamory, you have to show up
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for your partner the way that you want them to show up for you. And if I had somebody roll into town,
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you better believe I would want my husband to step it up.
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So there we go. That's really it, isn't it? That's the whole shebang, if you'll pardon the
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expression. Why do you have a polyamorous relationship? What's the point of a quote-unquote
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open marriage, which is a contradiction in terms? It's an oxymoron, an open marriage. Marriages
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are closed by definition. That's the point of them. But why do it? Well, it's entirely self-serving.
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You know, that's the point. This is mutually agreed upon adultery. One adulterous spouse
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tolerates the adultery of the other spouse so that she has a license to behave the same way.
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It's also emotional blackmail at the same time, or putting karma in the bank, as she puts it.
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Again, we see how the marital union has been flipped on its head, gutted, emptied, hollowed out,
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rendered pointless. Because marriage is supposed to be a loving and sacrificial union between two
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people who pledge to serve one another until death. That's what marriage is. I don't know
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what other point it could have if it's not that. And letting your spouse sleep around so that you
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can also sleep around is not loving service. It's self-service, and there's a difference. In fact,
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the difference is that those two things are opposites. A few decades ago, private citizens
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used to be largely that, private. What's changed? Well, the internet. Think about everything you browse,
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searched for, watched, or tweeted. Now imagine all of that data being crawled through,
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collected and aggregated by third parties into a permanent public record, your record.
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Having your private life exposed for others to see was once something only celebrities worried
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about. But in an era where everybody is online, everyone is a public figure. We're all kind of
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I think I can tolerate maybe just one more of these.
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We haven't heard yet from a polyamorous man. So we've heard from the women. Let's hear from a man.
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Hey, man. I think you should know that I saw your wife with another man.
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You know, I have to say, I take great exception to the fact that this is a bearded man.
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To see a bearded man cuckolding himself like this is extremely discouraging to me.
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It brings shame on the whole community of beardsmen.
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Of course, the cuckold effect kind of, he affects this ironic, detached pose,
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unconcerned that his wife is being sexually satisfied by another man.
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You get back here and you make love to my wife!
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One, when we talk about this guy and trying to interpret and understand what's going on.
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One is that, you know, your wife is out with another man and you're pretending not to be bothered by it.
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But really inside, you're dying and you're eating yourself alive.
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You're drowning in resentment and jealousy and you hate your life.
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Can we talk about this not in front of everyone, Jesse?
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But you're trying to convince the world, but really yourself, that you're totally fine with it.
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One, or two, you've been so neutered, so thoroughly defanged and de-balled
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that you actually don't feel anything anymore when your wife openly cheats on you.
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What I do know, though, is that I can't watch any more of these videos.