The Matt Walsh Show - July 11, 2023


Matt Walsh Reviews The Star Wars Movies

Hosted by
Matt Walsh
Mentioned
Jedi Kylo Ren Rotten Tomatoes Pure Talk Walsh Darth Vader Mark Hamill Stormtroopers Anakin C-3PO Dude Matt
Matt Walsh DEBUNKS Anti Alien Propaganda - Part 2 Matt Walsh Makes Good On His Bets ： Anime

Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

194.71

Word count

1,753

Sentence count

162

Harmful content

Toxicity

17

sentences flagged

Hate speech

3

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

My thoughts on Star Wars: Episode VI - Rise of Kylo Ren and why the good guys wear cool helmets and masks, and why only the bad guys wear them when they don t need to. Also, I have a question about the advanced technology in the Star Wars universe.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Look at him, he's heading for that small moon.
00:00:04.660 That's no moon.
00:00:05.640 New Hope, the first one made.
00:00:07.000 Very bad feeling about this.
00:00:08.680 Really not a good movie.
00:00:10.180 It's really not that good.
00:00:15.020 My sons are major into Star Wars now.
00:00:17.720 I don't know how it happened.
00:00:19.100 I tried to shield them from the fate of becoming a Star Wars fan,
00:00:22.280 but against my wishes, they become obsessed with Star Wars.
00:00:25.860 It's like something, it's like almost something evolutionary,
00:00:28.620 something clicked in their minds.
00:00:30.020 And all of a sudden, they're running around the house with lightsabers.
00:00:32.180 Let me see what you have.
00:00:33.520 Let's do it.
00:00:34.340 No!
00:00:35.680 Side note to the side note.
00:00:37.240 On Friday, my son says to me, he says,
00:00:40.120 Daddy, I want to be a Jedi when I grow up.
00:00:43.480 And I said, oh, you know, me too.
00:00:45.440 I might not be a big Star Wars fan, but I'd love to be a Jedi.
00:00:48.900 And he said, but you're already grown up, and you're not a Jedi.
00:00:52.980 And I said, yeah.
00:00:53.800 Yeah, that's true.
00:00:56.660 Daddy, you failed.
00:00:58.900 Yes, I did.
00:01:00.200 In so many ways, son.
00:01:01.420 In so many ways.
00:01:02.380 Kids always know how to lift your spirits like that.
00:01:04.600 But anyway, so I watched the movie, and I'm at the age of 33 now,
00:01:10.720 and I'm just now getting acquainted with the Star Wars universe.
00:01:13.400 So I have only two questions I wanted to throw out there.
00:01:15.560 Always two there are.
00:01:18.280 No more, no less.
00:01:20.100 First of all, and this was bugging me the whole time I'm watching the movie.
00:01:24.040 Are people drawn to the dark side because they want to wear the cool helmets and masks?
00:01:29.500 I've noticed a real deficiency with the good guys when it comes to cool helmets and masks.
00:01:33.760 Why is it that only the bad guys wear them?
00:01:36.460 And they wear them when they don't need to.
00:01:38.000 You've got like stormtroopers walking around the ship on friendly territory, and apparently the ship's oxygenated,
00:01:45.220 so they could take the helmet off, but they're in the break room having some coffee, and they've got the helmet still on.
00:01:50.700 So, but, and I get it because it looks cool.
00:01:54.160 It's a cool look.
00:01:57.120 And I'm, my thing is, the good guys, they could probably, I mean, Kylo, you know, Kylo Ren, right?
00:02:05.220 The whole reason he went to the dark side is honestly just that he wanted to wear a cool helmet,
00:02:08.960 and he wanted to look like Darth Vader.
00:02:10.400 That's the whole reason, this is the only reason he became a bad guy.
00:02:13.340 I think the good guys could really stop that from happening and kind of stop the bleeding, as it were,
00:02:19.780 losing all these Jedi's to the dark side, if, if someone just ran to Party City and grabbed some costumes, 0.78
00:02:25.180 and then they could say to somebody like Kylo Ren, no, no, no, look, we got costumes too, you know?
00:02:29.420 You want your own costume? You want to design something? That's fine.
00:02:32.060 We've got people that can make costumes. 0.99
00:02:33.500 Kylo Ren is a punk, d***h. 0.97
00:02:35.000 And then my second question, and this, this really, this, this bugs me the most, 0.96
00:02:39.860 and this honestly might be one of the main reasons I never got into Star Wars.
00:02:42.760 You're in a galaxy with extraordinarily advanced technology.
00:02:46.760 We're talking so advanced that just your average commuter ships can go the speed of light.
00:02:53.480 That's the kind of technology you have.
00:02:55.320 On top of that, you've got robots that have, that can pass the Turing test.
00:02:58.740 They're conscious.
00:02:59.800 C-3PO appears to be conscious, right?
00:03:02.140 He has thoughts and feelings.
00:03:03.400 Goodness gracious me.
00:03:04.260 Really advanced technology, and yet you're using swords.
00:03:08.900 I mean, a lightsaber's a glorified sword. It's a laser sword.
00:03:10.960 An elegant weapon for a more civilized end.
00:03:17.180 All of this technology, and you're using a sword to fight people.
00:03:22.180 You're telling me you couldn't come up with a weapon that would make that sword irrelevant?
00:03:27.300 And if a guy comes at you with a laser sword, you could just shoot him, right? 0.96
00:03:29.740 And that'd be the end of it. 0.96
00:03:30.580 Now, I know you're going to say, oh, well, they could block the, well, you see in the movie,
00:03:33.300 they block the lasers with their sword.
00:03:35.060 Yeah, that's because the laser guns, the lasers that come out of the lasers in the laser
00:03:38.860 are super slow.
00:03:40.180 You see how slow those lasers are?
00:03:42.060 They go at the speed of a Nerf bullet.
00:03:44.220 And that's why they're so easy to block.
00:03:45.660 And everyone gets on the Stormtroopers case when they say,
00:03:47.860 the joke is the Stormtroopers can't hit anybody.
00:03:50.080 And they got the worst aim in the galaxy.
00:03:52.360 But the reason is that the lasers are going so slow, so they're easy to dodge.
00:03:56.060 So why not make a gun with a laser that goes the speed of an actual laser?
00:04:02.020 He's too dangerous to be left alive.
00:04:03.920 And in lieu of that, just get a regular gun, like a sawed-off shotgun. 1.00
00:04:07.340 And you could kill every Jedi in the galaxy, no problem. 0.99
00:04:10.100 It's over, Anakin! 0.99
00:04:11.660 I have the high ground!
00:04:13.620 You underestimate my power!
00:04:17.160 It just doesn't make any sense.
00:04:18.960 And it bothers me.
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00:05:09.840 The reviews for this new Star Wars movie have come out.
00:05:14.280 And right now, last I checked on Rotten Tomatoes,
00:05:16.380 I think it's got like a 58%, which is bad.
00:05:18.320 Rotten.
00:05:19.200 According to Rotten Tomatoes.
00:05:21.200 And so it's just being abysmally rated.
00:05:23.620 I think it's going to end up being
00:05:24.820 perhaps the worst rated reviewed Star Wars movie yet.
00:05:29.280 Even worse than Phantom Menace, which was an abomination in so many ways,
00:05:33.560 as most people know. 0.96
00:05:34.640 Say something about the motherfucking prequels. 0.96
00:05:37.700 There's only so much story to be told. 0.92
00:05:40.240 So this is what, the ninth Star Wars movie?
00:05:42.140 And I'm not even counting all the other peripheral things
00:05:45.700 and the offshoots and the other spinoffs and TV shows.
00:05:50.920 So there's even more than that.
00:05:52.220 But just in the primary film franchise,
00:05:54.920 we're now on the ninth movie, right?
00:05:56.820 And if they're each about two hours long on average, let's say,
00:05:59.820 talking about 18 hours, 18 hours.
00:06:03.040 Is there really 18 hours worth of story to be told based on this?
00:06:07.980 I'm telling you, if you watch that first Star Wars movie, New Hope,
00:06:11.540 it is really not a good movie.
00:06:13.720 It honestly isn't.
00:06:15.900 If you go in, if you go in cold, it's really not that good. 1.00
00:06:20.900 Dude, Matt straight up sucks. 1.00
00:06:22.760 The acting is bad. 1.00
00:06:25.120 Mark Hamill is not a good actor.
00:06:27.880 But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters.
00:06:30.360 The script is not good.
00:06:31.940 The dialogue is clunky and everything.
00:06:34.340 It's kind of campy and kind of fun, I guess.
00:06:36.540 But it's not.
00:06:37.060 My point is, it's really not a great film.
00:06:39.520 And then you have to look at that and ask yourself,
00:06:41.820 is there 18 hours worth of material to be mined from that?
00:06:46.620 Even a really, really great film that is complex and dense and with great characters and everything,
00:06:56.220 you're probably not going to find 18 hours worth of material from it.
00:06:58.780 But the first Star Wars movie isn't even that great.
00:07:01.080 And it just goes on and on and on.
00:07:02.620 Each new Star Wars movie, it just repeats, just over and over gets the same story repeated over and over and over and over and over again.
00:07:11.080 How many times do we have to see the same story?
00:07:13.260 While the Star Wars universe, I don't think, has enough in it to justify 18 hours of story,
00:07:22.180 the actual universe does.
00:07:24.520 What I mean is, if you want to make a movie, a sci-fi movie about things happening in space,
00:07:29.920 where it involves aliens and spaceships and adventures, I say, great, do that.
00:07:34.320 There's literally endless possibilities for telling stories set in space.
00:07:38.660 But all of our, all the resources in Hollywood and everything is focused on,
00:07:42.320 well, if we're going to tell a space story, it has to be Star Wars.
00:07:44.740 It's like, just, can we get away from the Star Wars thing?
00:07:47.140 And if we have filmmakers and scriptwriters and actors who want to, you know, be in a, do a movie about space,
00:07:56.740 just let them do that.
00:07:57.640 It doesn't need to be Star Wars.
00:07:59.020 Can we just put that aside?
00:08:00.060 Fine, we've done Star Wars.
00:08:01.140 We get it.
00:08:02.180 People are just itching.
00:08:03.320 I gotta go, I gotta go see it again.
00:08:04.420 Did I wait four days in the rain, peeing into my own hand and drinking it?
00:08:12.220 To get Phantom Men's tickets for the third time?
00:08:15.180 Yes.
00:08:15.700 I did.
00:08:17.360 I've seen the same movie eight times already.
00:08:21.380 And now I gotta go, I gotta go on opening weekend to watch it again.
00:08:24.180 One more time.
00:08:24.760 I'm just gonna, I'm gonna hand my money over to Disney.
00:08:26.920 Here's some money.
00:08:27.600 Go see a Star Wars.
00:08:28.540 They have no respect for me as a, as a, as a fan, as a viewer, because they're just,
00:08:31.500 they're just, they're just shoving tripe into my mouth. 1.00
00:08:34.320 It's garbage. 1.00
00:08:35.540 They're not even trying to make an original story. 1.00
00:08:37.960 It's just reheated, it's leftovers.
00:08:40.240 And you go and you give them their money and they literally shovel it into your mouth.
00:08:43.520 I mean, who would do that?
00:08:44.500 And this is what we do with Hollywood.
00:08:46.400 I don't understand.
00:08:47.500 I don't understand.
00:08:47.560 I don't understand.
00:08:48.060 I don't understand.
00:08:51.320 I don't understand.
00:08:56.720 I don't know.
00:08:58.200 You