The Matt Walsh Show - August 21, 2021


Matt Walsh Reviews Woke Kid's Shows


Episode Stats

Length

12 minutes

Words per Minute

179.0132

Word Count

2,166

Sentence Count

218

Misogynist Sentences

8

Hate Speech Sentences

6


Summary

In this episode, we discuss the rise and fall of kid shows in the 21st century, and how they ve changed since the days when they were kid shows for kids. We also discuss the Muppets and cross-dressing, and whether or not it s a good thing.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You know, back in my day, growing up in the utopian Garden of Eden period known as 1990s,
00:00:05.180 I did not have sexual relations with that woman.
00:00:09.280 We had kid shows, which the interesting thing about kid shows is that they were shows for kids.
00:00:15.960 That's what they were for.
00:00:16.900 And some of them were better than others.
00:00:18.980 Some were kind of weird.
00:00:20.180 Some were kind of stupid.
00:00:21.320 Some were artistic masterpieces, like, for example, the Nickelodeon show Salute Your Shorts,
00:00:26.000 which is a 90s show that every 90s kid remembers and then is shocked to discover that every other 90s kid remembers it, too.
00:00:31.820 Now, the thing about these shows is that their primary goal was to entertain, as I remembered.
00:00:35.760 And that's different from the situation that we have today,
00:00:38.080 where kids' shows seem to consider entertainment sort of a secondary concern.
00:00:42.180 The primary goal now is to ensure that the children in the audience adopt the correct political and ideological viewpoints.
00:00:49.400 Wheel of morality, turn, turn, turn.
00:00:51.580 Tell us the lesson that we should learn.
00:00:53.300 And by correct, I mean those views that are in keeping with the mainstream beliefs of our culture.
00:00:58.160 And by that, I mean incorrect.
00:00:59.360 So by correct, I mean incorrect.
00:01:00.620 We'll begin with the latest example, and maybe the worst.
00:01:04.300 This one is fresh out of the indoctrination oven.
00:01:08.100 It's the show Muppet Babies, in which Gonzo comes out as a gender-fluid cross-dresser.
00:01:14.660 Yes, really.
00:01:15.980 Let's watch.
00:01:16.800 There you are.
00:01:18.020 You missed our royal ball.
00:01:19.520 We met the most amazing princess.
00:01:21.660 Yes, but they ran away, and all they left behind was this.
00:01:26.580 Everyone, there's something I need to tell you.
00:01:29.880 The princess who came to your ball tonight was me.
00:01:37.180 I'm Gonzarella.
00:01:38.460 But Gonzo, why didn't Voo tell us?
00:01:43.680 Because you all expected me to look a certain way.
00:01:46.760 I don't want you to be upset with me.
00:01:48.880 But I don't want to do things just because that's the way they've always been done, either.
00:01:53.140 I want to be me.
00:01:55.140 Oh, Gonzo.
00:01:56.520 We're sorry.
00:01:57.980 It wasn't very nice of us to tell you what to wear to our ball.
00:02:01.340 You're our friend.
00:02:02.480 And we love you any way you are.
00:02:05.040 Yeah, of course we do.
00:02:06.380 See, this is why it's so important to have a father in the home.
00:02:10.740 It's clear that Gonzo doesn't have a father in the home to say, hey, take that thing off.
00:02:14.180 You look stupid.
00:02:14.720 Get that thing off of you.
00:02:15.740 Take that ridiculous thing off.
00:02:18.620 You know, some people will point out that kid shows in the past have had episodes where boys dress as girls.
00:02:24.440 And that's true.
00:02:25.520 But in the past, whether it was a kid show or something for older kids or, you know, older audiences, something like Mrs. Doubtfire movie from the 90s, Robin Williams.
00:02:34.800 In the past, this plot point was always played for laughs, right?
00:02:38.140 It was supposed to be funny.
00:02:39.240 The point was that boys look stupid in girls' clothes and we should laugh about it.
00:02:43.560 Oh, yeah.
00:02:44.280 Well, we know what I think.
00:02:45.980 Who cares what you think?
00:02:46.880 You're a girl now.
00:02:47.740 Now the point is that wearing girls' clothes is great and courageous and more boys should try it.
00:02:54.380 You know, if you've raised your kids correctly and they were to watch Muppet Babies and they saw that, they would start laughing.
00:03:00.980 Like, if my boys watch Muppet Babies, which they won't, but if they did and they saw that, they would just laugh hysterically because they would say that's so silly and ridiculous, which it is.
00:03:08.700 But now the goal is quite the opposite of that, which is, among other things, extremely creepy.
00:03:14.840 Next, we have the show Arthur, one that I remember from my childhood as well, the show about a lovable aardvark.
00:03:21.240 I think that's what he is.
00:03:22.080 I could be wrong.
00:03:22.980 He used to be lovable.
00:03:24.180 Anyway, he's lost a bit of his charm now that he's pushing critical race theory.
00:03:28.460 Hey, Arthur.
00:03:29.620 Hey, Buster.
00:03:30.600 Did you see that video?
00:03:32.320 Yeah, I just watched it.
00:03:34.220 It was awful.
00:03:35.660 I can't believe someone would be hurt like that just because they're black.
00:03:39.860 Racism is so unfair.
00:03:41.620 No one should ever judge someone by the color of their skin.
00:03:45.000 But how could it happen here, in Elwood City, right outside the sugar bowl?
00:03:50.100 Buster, it happens everywhere.
00:03:52.820 I was talking to Mrs. McGrady the other day.
00:03:55.460 She said there's a really long history of black people not being treated fairly in this country.
00:04:00.320 It has to stop.
00:04:02.060 We have to do something.
00:04:03.740 Yeah!
00:04:06.120 But what can we do?
00:04:08.080 I mean, I'm eight.
00:04:09.720 I can't even fry an egg on my own.
00:04:11.900 I don't know.
00:04:12.700 Maybe Mrs. McGrady can give us some ideas.
00:04:17.460 Hold on.
00:04:19.240 Hello, boys.
00:04:20.860 I'm so glad you reached out to me.
00:04:23.700 Yes, I saw the video, too.
00:04:25.520 And let me tell you, it made my blood boil.
00:04:29.460 Me, too.
00:04:30.320 It also made me scared.
00:04:31.760 I mean, this happened in our neighborhood.
00:04:35.100 It is scary, Buster.
00:04:37.380 But you should know that a lot of grown-ups are fighting racism and working hard to keep us all safe.
00:04:43.600 Why does this keep happening, Mrs. McGrady?
00:04:48.020 Well, racism is like a disease.
00:04:50.440 If you don't treat it, it's just going to get worse.
00:04:53.560 Okay, let me jump in there, Mrs. Grady, if I could.
00:04:55.580 Mrs. McGrady, whatever your name is.
00:04:57.640 Why does it keep happening?
00:04:58.480 Well, for the same reason that unicorns keep shitting on your roof.
00:05:02.160 That is, it's not happening, like, at all.
00:05:06.600 There have been comparatively few unjustified police shootings of anyone.
00:05:11.700 Statistically, this is undeniable from a statistical standpoint.
00:05:15.940 And almost none of them have any connection to racism.
00:05:19.800 So this is not a thing that's actually happening.
00:05:21.840 And yet the people behind Arthur want small children to imagine they live in a country where black people are being killed left and right for the color of their skin.
00:05:29.820 Just like walking on the street, they're just getting murdered by the cops.
00:05:32.160 You really think someone would do that?
00:05:34.080 Just go on the internet and tell lies?
00:05:36.320 And by the way, side note, does race even exist in the Arthur universe?
00:05:41.400 You can't just invent a holiday, Arthur.
00:05:44.160 Well, sure you can.
00:05:45.540 My family celebrates Kwanzaa, and that was invented for African Americans by Dr. Molana Karenga in 1966.
00:05:52.360 Not sure what's going on there exactly, but let's keep going.
00:05:54.400 We'll stay on the racial side of things with this from a show that I don't even know what the show is, but it's called Stephen Universe.
00:06:02.160 Here it is.
00:06:02.560 All right, class.
00:06:06.520 Can anyone tell me who invented the lightbulb?
00:06:09.680 Television!
00:06:10.880 That's not entirely true.
00:06:12.920 The lightbulb could more rightfully be attributed to Lewis Latimer, the black inventor behind the filament inside the bulb.
00:06:20.260 His invention made lightbulbs affordable and efficient enough for the general public, bringing electric light into households around the world.
00:06:27.200 Well, so now you know.
00:06:31.900 Wait, is that it?
00:06:33.720 Hold on.
00:06:34.620 We're not going to mention why he invented the filament?
00:06:37.500 To create a better standard of living for people who had only just been freed from slavery?
00:06:42.420 Are we going to ask why kids are apparently learning about Thomas Edison?
00:06:46.300 Thomas Edison!
00:06:47.100 And not learning about Lewis Latimer?
00:06:50.580 These textbooks are incomplete.
00:06:52.540 There were black Roman warriors, black medieval knights, black classical musicians, black cowboys, black fighter pilots.
00:06:58.040 Where are they?
00:06:59.680 Okay.
00:07:00.120 Anyway, I don't want to get into a historical debate with a cartoon, but at the same time, no, you could not attribute the lightbulb to Lewis Latimer if you actually care about things like the truth and historical accuracy.
00:07:12.060 You know, those little details like that.
00:07:14.100 Yes, Latimer innovated a filament for the bulb.
00:07:17.380 He didn't invent the filament, but he did come up with a better, longer-lasting filament, which is great.
00:07:22.640 That doesn't equate to inventing the lightbulb.
00:07:24.920 So, all right, I could invent a more durable tire or a more reliable braking system.
00:07:31.280 Well, I couldn't do that, but somebody could.
00:07:33.560 That doesn't mean that I get to claim that I invented the car, though.
00:07:36.740 And I can't invent the car because it's already been invented.
00:07:38.640 So there's that little detail.
00:07:39.580 As for the actual inventor of the lightbulb, there is a debate that could be had about who exactly that was.
00:07:43.420 Edison deserves most of the credit that he gets.
00:07:45.920 Joseph Swan is an English scientist, also developed an incandescent bulb independently.
00:07:51.440 But Joseph Swan was white.
00:07:53.000 So the fact is, many of the most important inventions in modern society were given to us by white people, usually men.
00:08:01.360 Not all, but a great many.
00:08:03.160 That's not a racist statement.
00:08:04.580 That is just a fact.
00:08:06.300 It's also not something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about or competitive about or angry about.
00:08:11.420 Rather than trying to steal this invention from Thomas Edison when he's not even around to defend himself,
00:08:16.380 how about saying, hey, thanks, Thomas Edison.
00:08:18.200 Listen, there are at least one good, good white guy that's been out there.
00:08:22.560 There are many others, it turns out.
00:08:24.560 All right.
00:08:25.080 So no list of woke children shows would be complete without the Blue's Clues drag queen episode,
00:08:30.520 which maybe you've seen by now, but it's got to be on the list.
00:08:33.240 So let's all enjoy that once again.
00:08:35.980 Hey, Blue, look at all these families.
00:08:40.060 Hi, families.
00:08:40.980 It's time for a Pride Parade.
00:08:44.060 Families marching one by one.
00:08:46.120 Hurrah, hurrah.
00:08:47.960 Families marching one by one.
00:08:50.120 Hurrah, hurrah.
00:08:51.740 This family has two mommies.
00:08:54.060 They love each other so proudly.
00:08:55.920 And they all go marching in the big parade.
00:09:01.880 Families marching four by four.
00:09:04.080 Hurrah, hurrah.
00:09:06.020 Families marching four by four.
00:09:08.020 Hurrah, hurrah.
00:09:09.480 All trans members of this family all love each other so proudly.
00:09:13.880 And they all go marching in the big parade.
00:09:18.880 Come to eat in the fun.
00:09:19.980 This, by the way, is a show for preschoolers.
00:09:22.020 Okay, like three-year-olds pushing drag queens and pansexuals.
00:09:26.220 Do you know what a typical plot for Blue's Clues used to be?
00:09:29.560 Steve, who was the guy, he would lose his glue stick and he'd have to find it.
00:09:36.500 And he would ask Blue, hey, Blue, do you know where my glue stick is?
00:09:40.040 And Blue would be all coy about it.
00:09:43.100 Even though Blue knows what the damn glue stick is, he won't just tell Steve where it is.
00:09:46.800 So he starts planting all these clues around the house.
00:09:49.980 And Steve is very patient.
00:09:50.980 He's like, okay, I got to go through it.
00:09:52.220 I'll do that.
00:09:52.920 We're going to spend 30 minutes looking for the damn glue stick.
00:09:54.920 You just tell me where it is, Blue.
00:09:56.400 But he doesn't do it.
00:09:56.940 He actually goes.
00:09:57.480 And so that's the whole episode is just Steve trying to find his glue stick.
00:10:02.260 And at the end, he finds it.
00:10:04.640 And that's the end of the show.
00:10:06.540 That was a kid's show.
00:10:08.180 And now we have pansexual toads and bisexual turtles singing about their favorite sexual orientation.
00:10:15.480 So a little bit of a different approach, I suppose.
00:10:17.060 Okay.
00:10:17.600 One more.
00:10:18.240 We'll close with lesbian horses on My Little Pony.
00:10:21.960 Let's watch this.
00:10:22.460 You three truly have a gift for helping ponies.
00:10:26.460 Aw, thanks, Aunt Holiday.
00:10:28.260 But I'm not sure we can take credit for this one.
00:10:31.080 Of course you can.
00:10:32.360 You encouraged that cult to try new things.
00:10:34.500 And because you all believed in him, he succeeded.
00:10:38.260 I could use that kind of help.
00:10:41.920 Come on, Auntie Lofty.
00:10:43.860 You already have your cutie mark.
00:10:46.520 Lot of good it does me.
00:10:48.560 I can't decide what theme to give this quilt.
00:10:51.140 What?
00:10:51.660 I've run out of inspiration.
00:10:53.420 How about apples?
00:10:54.680 Puppies?
00:10:55.280 Tides?
00:10:56.020 Or cotton candy?
00:10:57.260 Or ballet?
00:10:58.120 What about a Wonderball quilt?
00:11:00.180 See?
00:11:00.840 Leave it to you three to come up with more ideas than I've had in a year.
00:11:04.480 Now that's talent.
00:11:06.940 Oh, is that it?
00:11:07.780 Okay.
00:11:09.600 I was waiting because, well, first of all, I didn't mean to misgender the horses.
00:11:14.300 That's actually not a horse.
00:11:15.060 That's a unicorn, it would seem.
00:11:16.620 But you know how bad it's gotten?
00:11:17.680 That was the tamest thing we saw.
00:11:22.020 I was like waiting for, that was downright quaint and conservative in comparison to what
00:11:26.640 you normally get from kid shows these days.
00:11:28.040 I mean, it's only a lesbian couple on My Little Pony.
00:11:31.900 The lesbian unicorns, they're not even into like BDSM or anything.
00:11:35.180 There's no subplot where one of them gets a sex change.
00:11:37.620 This is old fashioned.
00:11:39.500 Really?
00:11:39.900 That's how bad it's gotten.
00:11:43.040 And it's just one more reason why you should turn the TV off.
00:11:47.580 Send your kids outside.
00:11:48.980 Let them go run and play.
00:11:51.500 Scrape their knees.
00:11:53.260 Bloody their noses a little bit.
00:11:55.420 Minor injuries await them outdoors.
00:11:57.560 But at least they'll still have their souls.
00:12:00.780 And their brains.
00:12:01.600 And I say, hey, hey, what a wonderful kind of day.