The Matt Walsh Show - Matt Walsh's Dating HOT TAKES

00:00:00.000 So today I want to review what some have deemed my hottest takes when it comes to dating advice,

00:00:05.900 or maybe my worst takes. It's all perspective, one or the other. I've done a few installments

00:00:10.780 of giving such advice to these sad souls who use Reddit, so now I think it's time to reflect

00:00:14.580 on the important knowledge I've shared with these sad souls. Now, I, of course, am objectively

00:00:20.060 right in all these cases, but it doesn't stop everybody from disagreeing with what I have to

00:00:24.280 say. Let's take a look. This one says, wife might have lost interest in me and be looking elsewhere. 1.00

00:00:30.480 We've been together for five years now. For the last six months, we've been fighting

00:00:33.980 and arguing a lot. It's mostly stopped over the last two to three weeks, but as of this

00:00:38.180 last weekend, she suggested an open relationship, stating that she's read that men are happier.

00:00:44.280 I do not want it. But the more I think about it, the more I feel like she wants it for her.

00:00:49.680 She's always getting hit on, even when I'm right there and I work long hours, so I'm not

00:00:53.560 home a lot. I know if I agreed to this, it would be just for her. I don't want anyone

00:00:58.260 else, and even if I did, I'm unattractive and socially awkward, so it's not like I'd

00:01:01.820 get anywhere. What set me over the edge is that I gave her my card before work to pay

00:01:06.740 rent, got home and wanted a soda from the store, and as I was looking for it in her

00:01:10.780 purse, I found a letter she wrote today. It doesn't say who it's to, but it's obviously

00:01:15.900 not for me, and it's signed, love always, and then her name. I don't know what to do at

00:01:21.040 this point. Do I tell her how I've been feeling? Do I confront her about the letter? My God,

00:01:26.680 these are depressing. I think I might cry. If I had a soul, I would cry, but I don't,

00:01:33.260 so we're good. But anyway, do you confront her? What do you mean, yes? What else would

00:01:41.440 you do? 1.00

00:01:41.900 This could very well be the stupidest person on the face of the earth. 1.00

00:01:45.360 What do you mean, do you? What other, I mean, she literally wrote a love letter to 1.00

00:01:49.880 another guy. How could you not confront her? What else, what else, what's the other

00:01:56.040 option? Would you go home, like order a pizza, watch MasterChef together, pretend

00:02:01.080 everything's fine? Is that even a feasible option? If I was in your shoes, I couldn't

00:02:07.160 do that. That would be impossible to do that. You can't be so cowed, so emasculated

00:02:14.020 that you've, that you, that you're that good at hiding your thoughts and feelings

00:02:18.480 around her. So yes, you confront her. Yes, you put your foot down. None of this is

00:02:22.460 okay. None of it is remotely okay. And by the way, there's no such thing as an open

00:02:26.700 marriage.

00:02:27.280 Not quite my temple.

00:02:28.380 A marriage by definition is closed. There's no open marriage. It's like saying that you

00:02:35.060 live in a house without a roof. If it doesn't have a roof, it's not a house. The roof is like

00:02:41.180 sort of the whole point of the house. That's what we talk about. You know, you're living

00:02:44.500 under my roof. I need a roof to sleep. It's the roof. That's what the, the roof is one

00:02:48.180 of the, is one of the main features of the house. And if you don't have that, you don't

00:02:51.640 have a house. Um, and in a marriage that one of the primary defining features is the

00:02:58.940 exclusive exclusivity is the commitment you make to another, to one another. So there's

00:03:04.020 no open marriage. What there is, is a, it's called adultery cheating. And even if you 0.85

00:03:09.100 both agree to it, it's still adultery. All right, next. It says, I feel like I'm not

00:03:14.560 allowed to have my own time. I've been dating my girlfriend for almost half a year now, and

00:03:18.600 it's been mostly great other than her clinginess. She's the type to send multiple walls of text

00:03:23.760 while I'm at work. And then when I give her a quick response, trying to explain to her

00:03:27.100 I'm busy, she thinks I'm upset at her, which in reality I am. And I've tried to explain to

00:03:31.720 her that there's no need to blow my phone up when I'm on the clock at work or at school.

00:03:35.280 I'm trying to explain to her I'm busy and I've even set boundaries for her to not borderline

00:03:39.820 spam me when I don't reply. But I feel like when I bring this up, she thinks you don't

00:03:44.000 want me to text you at all. She's also tried calling me while I'm at work. And, uh, when

00:03:48.120 I don't answer, she'll text my parents asking if I'm safe. There's also been instances of

00:03:53.360 me having to text her to get her to let me be when I'm hanging out with a friend. Uh, okay.

00:03:57.700 I think we'll get the idea here. Extremely clanging, extremely needy. Once again, I would

00:04:02.280 say breakup. Now, granted you guys have been dating for half a year, you'd say, which, uh,

00:04:08.580 which means you've barely been together at all. Okay. So you're, you're still babies in

00:04:12.980 a relationship and she's still in the infatuation stage of things. And every couple has the

00:04:17.680 infatuation stage when you're sort of obsessed with each other and you need to be around each

00:04:21.180 other 24 seven, which there's no love before the infatuation is gets in the way of love.

00:04:27.000 There can't be real love because the infatuation stage stages, self-focused. You're obsessed

00:04:32.160 with how this person makes you feel. So it's all about you. She's texting and calling you

00:04:37.320 all the time. Not because she's actually worried about you, but more that she needs that constant

00:04:41.260 connection with you for her own self. She doesn't really care if she's intruding on you or not. 0.54

00:04:46.460 So it's really not about you at all. It's more about her.

00:04:49.100 Tell me I'm pretty. Tell me I'm pretty. Tell me I'm pretty.

00:04:52.600 There's probably nothing beneath the infatuation except the infatuation itself. This is one of

00:04:57.780 those situations where you stay with her. And then in a few months she gets bored and just breaks

00:05:02.820 up with you also. She'll go from utterly obsessed with you. She doesn't want anything to do with

00:05:07.720 you just like that. Or she'll cheat or something. So I just cut this one off now. I mean, general rule

00:05:12.380 here, if you've been dating for only six months and she's already annoying the hell out of you every 1.00

00:05:17.860 second of the day, not a good sign. So I would just leave that one alone.

00:05:23.040 Okay. Next question. So I've been on three dates with this girl and we're really clicking and I

00:05:27.520 really like her. And she just agreed to a fourth date tomorrow. And it's been about less than two

00:05:31.620 weeks since we started talking. Point is every now and then she goes off for a good few hours and I

00:05:36.660 don't know. I'm in all sorts of stress. I don't want to say anything to her about it because I don't

00:05:40.880 want to overwhelm or seem needy, but I need to be able to healthily deal with this. And I just

00:05:45.420 instantly run through scenarios that she's not into me or so-and-so. Are some people just not

00:05:50.780 into texting? I don't know. Do I just need to chill the F out? Listen, there's nothing more repulsive

00:05:58.060 to a woman than neediness in a man. That is the most repulsive trait is to be needy. So you are 0.98

00:06:05.000 being repulsive in the eyes of this woman. Well, the problem is that phones and text messaging and all 0.98

00:06:11.420 that stuff just ignites this kind of neediness in people. So I'm not really blaming you for this.

00:06:17.740 And everyone is like this to a certain extent at this point, not just in relationships. The very

00:06:23.660 fact that the other person has their phone on them at all times means that you feel like, and not just

00:06:28.640 you, but universally, you feel like you're entitled to their attention all the time because they have on

00:06:34.840 them the means by which you can get their attention. Right. But you aren't. I mean, you can't just

00:06:40.260 barge in on someone at all hours of the day, relentlessly, whenever you feel like it and expect

00:06:44.940 that they'll drop everything they're doing and respond to you. It's insane, but it's an insanity

00:06:49.520 that you're in, you're in good company because like most of the country, this is how they operate.

00:06:53.600 If they send a text message, they expect an immediate response. You know, I frequently get text

00:06:58.540 messages and I don't respond to them for days. I treat text messages like, like they're letters

00:07:03.820 and I'm living on the frontier in 1835 and the mail comes by horseback every four months.

00:07:11.820 I give myself that kind of time to respond to a text message. That's what I do. You know why?

00:07:17.720 Because I don't owe you a response. I don't owe you my attention. I'm doing something. I'm in the

00:07:23.480 middle of something. Leave me alone. Or maybe I'm in the middle of nothing. Maybe I'm literally just

00:07:28.820 sitting on a chair, staring at a wall and you send me a text message. You know what I'm still

00:07:34.220 going to do? I'm going to look at my phone and just put it down and not respond. Because I don't

00:07:38.820 feel like talking right now. If I felt like talking, I'd be texting you. You see? Look, the point is,

00:07:44.680 this girl doesn't exist simply to respond to you. If you want that, go ask for a date from Siri. 1.00

00:07:50.960 Okay? See if Alexa is still single. You want a human being, then let them live a life apart from 1.00

00:07:58.580 your constant surveillance. Get a grip. Well, I mean, looking back on these clips, I'm not sure how

00:08:03.760 anybody could disagree with me on this or anything else. Now, if you want to make your case against

00:08:08.460 my advice, feel free to do so in the comments below. But just know you may be banned from the

00:08:12.920 show for doing so. So be careful.

The Matt Walsh Show - June 11, 2022

Matt Walsh's Dating HOT TAKES

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