The Matt Walsh Show - June 25, 2021


Matt Walsh Takes A Personality Test


Episode Stats

Length

12 minutes

Words per Minute

189.85439

Word Count

2,399

Sentence Count

235

Misogynist Sentences

2

Hate Speech Sentences

3


Summary

In this episode, I talk about the Eniagram and why I don t need a personality test to figure out who I am. I also talk about how other people don t understand me and why it's important to not care what anyone thinks of you.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 People these days are fascinated by personality tests, and I've never quite understood why.
00:00:06.960 Why do you need a test to tell you who you are and what your personality is?
00:00:11.100 Don't you already know that? You are you. Aren't you the expert on that?
00:00:13.760 Who am I?
00:00:15.100 Like, for me, for example, I already know that I'm an insufferable a**hole.
00:00:19.300 I don't need a test to tell me that.
00:00:21.760 All that to say, today, I am going to take a personality test.
00:00:24.640 This one is the, um, how do you pronounce that?
00:00:27.700 Eni, Eniagram? The Eniagram test.
00:00:32.880 And they have, uh, apparently there's nine personality types that you could choose from.
00:00:37.700 So, of all, seven billion people on Earth, and you only get nine personalities.
00:00:42.420 That's it, you gotta choose one of the nine.
00:00:44.400 We will find out which of the nine I am as we go through this test that seems like it's way longer than it needs to be.
00:00:51.220 Okay, truity.com is where I took this test.
00:00:54.660 And so then you get options, and you have inaccurate, neutral, or accurate.
00:00:58.800 I strive for perfection.
00:01:01.560 Well, I don't know how I can strive for something that I already have, being a perfect person.
00:01:05.840 But, uh, I, I'll guess I'll say accurate.
00:01:08.480 It is important to me that other people like me, no, I don't care what anyone thinks.
00:01:12.980 I don't think about the oppression I make on people at all.
00:01:15.780 And I put no effort into it whatsoever.
00:01:19.080 Um, and the thing is, you should care a little bit what people think of you.
00:01:22.540 And you should, everyone says, oh, you shouldn't care what anyone thinks of you.
00:01:26.400 No, you should care.
00:01:27.420 Like, I am what happens when you don't care at all.
00:01:30.060 And you should care a little bit.
00:01:31.660 Don't be like me.
00:01:32.400 But I don't, so, inaccurate.
00:01:34.400 It's important to me to achieve great things.
00:01:36.640 Like, I see, everybody would say accurate to that, right?
00:01:41.040 Is there anyone who would say, no, you know, I don't really care about doing great things.
00:01:44.880 I'm kind of in it to be, to do, uh, moderate to satisfactory things.
00:01:50.760 That's what I'm striving for.
00:01:52.040 Mediocrity rules!
00:01:53.620 So I'll say accurate.
00:01:54.860 Um, I make more significant contributions than the average person.
00:01:59.220 Well, come on.
00:01:59.900 I have, I have a podcast, so, um, there's going to be a lot of people in for a rude
00:02:06.440 awakening when they get to the pearly gates and God asks them, oh, what did you do with
00:02:11.360 your life?
00:02:11.880 Like, you wouldn't already know.
00:02:13.320 And they say something like, oh, I was a battlefield medic.
00:02:17.300 I served the poor.
00:02:19.100 Yeah, but did you have a podcast?
00:02:21.460 No?
00:02:22.360 Get out.
00:02:25.940 Uh, I feel my emotions very deeply.
00:02:28.000 I have, uh, no emotions.
00:02:30.180 I am on the spectrum for sociopathy.
00:02:34.440 I have a sense that other people will never truly understand me.
00:02:37.960 See, this is why I don't like the personality tests.
00:02:39.360 These whiny, other people don't, nobody understands me.
00:02:43.200 Shut up, mom!
00:02:44.000 Go away!
00:02:44.900 You know, you know, if you're a human being, you know what it is?
00:02:48.100 Everyone understands you and, and nobody does at the same time.
00:02:50.720 It's, it's kind of like both because no one is inside your mind, but at the same time,
00:02:54.320 we're all people.
00:02:55.560 And so we kind of get it because we're all in the same boat as being people.
00:02:59.400 I object to this question.
00:03:01.500 I don't even want to answer it.
00:03:03.940 I pro, I, I protest on principle.
00:03:06.880 Uh, I am prepared for any disaster.
00:03:08.760 No, I have no skills at all.
00:03:10.980 If there's any kind of disaster, I'm going to be dead within probably about 45 minutes.
00:03:18.820 It's important to me to avoid pain and suffering at all times.
00:03:22.780 Life is pain.
00:03:24.100 Life is suffering.
00:03:24.860 Anyone who says differently is selling something.
00:03:26.960 You can't avoid it.
00:03:27.700 I seek out experiences that I know will make me feel happy or excited.
00:03:35.060 Yes.
00:03:36.120 As opposed to what?
00:03:37.340 Of course I want experiences that make me feel happy.
00:03:39.260 It's got me.
00:03:39.560 I don't know.
00:03:39.800 It's kind of hard to find them sometimes, but what?
00:03:42.840 I see the positive in every situation.
00:03:44.840 No, I definitely don't see the positive in this situation I'm in right now.
00:03:47.860 I'm not afraid to tell someone when I think they're wrong.
00:03:50.220 No, that's like my favorite thing to do actually in the world.
00:03:52.580 I, that's what I do for a living.
00:03:53.540 Actually, I let other people make the decisions.
00:03:56.420 No, no one can make.
00:03:57.700 I don't want anyone to, I don't trust anyone to make any decisions.
00:04:00.440 And I also don't trust myself to make decisions.
00:04:03.160 So I appreciate having rules that people are expected to follow.
00:04:08.260 As a theocratic fascist, of course, my answer is accurate.
00:04:10.560 As long as I get to make the rules.
00:04:12.400 I think a lot about what will happen in the future.
00:04:16.280 Does anyone not think about what's happening in the future?
00:04:19.000 I don't fit in with ordinary people.
00:04:24.080 Everyone is going to say yes to this.
00:04:27.220 No one wants to think that they don't fit in with, like, everyone wants to think that they don't fit in, that they're not ordinary.
00:04:31.380 They're extraordinary.
00:04:32.560 I'm very important.
00:04:33.720 Every single person says accurate to this.
00:04:35.800 So in protest, I'm going to say inaccurate.
00:04:39.100 Because you know what?
00:04:39.620 I do fit in.
00:04:40.220 We're all, we all basically are the same.
00:04:41.660 There's rarely a good reason for changing how things are done.
00:04:46.060 It depends wholly on the situation.
00:04:49.260 I can't make a blanket statement.
00:04:51.440 Is it a good idea or a bad idea to change how things are done?
00:04:55.200 What things are you talking about?
00:04:56.620 And what's the change?
00:04:58.180 I'm not just going to change how something's done for the sake of it.
00:05:01.420 I can't answer that question.
00:05:03.300 I can't answer that one either because it doesn't make any sense.
00:05:05.880 This is going to come back as I have no person.
00:05:08.140 I'm going to come back.
00:05:08.780 I'm going to be the first person to come back with a zero.
00:05:10.260 I simply am not there.
00:05:13.440 Or whatever, because I can't, I can't answer any of these questions.
00:05:16.680 I'm always trying to be a better person.
00:05:18.660 Everyone's going to say accurate to that.
00:05:20.300 Even though most people aren't, everyone's going to say that they are.
00:05:23.040 They say there's nine personality types.
00:05:24.500 I bet you there's only one, actually.
00:05:26.100 Everyone gets the same one.
00:05:27.760 Because almost everyone's going to answer all these questions the same.
00:05:30.360 The organizations I belong to would not function well without me.
00:05:35.040 I'll tell you something.
00:05:35.700 This place would fall apart.
00:05:37.060 If I wasn't doing YouTube videos of myself taking personality tests about myself, this
00:05:42.220 whole building would crumble.
00:05:43.980 Okay?
00:05:44.840 I always have a plan for what I would do if things go wrong.
00:05:48.620 I have a plan.
00:05:50.020 It's not always, it's probably not a good one.
00:05:52.560 Like, my plan for when things go wrong is always, in my head, it always involves dropkicking
00:05:57.640 someone.
00:05:58.920 You know?
00:05:59.700 Like a karate type of thing.
00:06:00.860 What the fuck?
00:06:01.960 That's always my plan for any situation.
00:06:05.100 I've yet to have a chance to actually do it.
00:06:07.840 But it is a plan, so I'll say accurate.
00:06:09.660 I seek excitement.
00:06:11.800 I, yeah.
00:06:13.340 I have a different idea of what's exciting, probably from some people, but...
00:06:17.080 Okay, these are the spicy cayenne crickets.
00:06:19.480 Let's try these out.
00:06:20.620 I am good at seeing the bright side of things when others complain.
00:06:24.460 No, I'm the one doing the complaining, so...
00:06:27.160 That's gotta be inaccurate.
00:06:28.920 I don't hesitate to call people out when they're behaving badly.
00:06:32.780 Yeah, that, you know...
00:06:35.080 Again, one of my favorite things to do, in fact, is that, so...
00:06:38.080 I go along with what other people want.
00:06:42.440 I am a diehard contrarian, so if I know it's what you want, I'm just gonna do the opposite.
00:06:49.920 It's a deep, deep emotional immaturity, but it has served me well in life.
00:06:53.800 So I'm gonna say inaccurate.
00:06:55.500 There is no option on this scale for this question is stupid, so I have to keep hitting neutral.
00:07:00.400 I feel like this is skewing my results.
00:07:02.740 I seek out relationships that offer me some type of protection.
00:07:08.080 What am I, a chick?
00:07:09.580 I am always aware of what can go wrong in a situation.
00:07:13.160 How many times are we gonna have this same thing?
00:07:17.520 How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?
00:07:22.680 I mean, accurate, I guess.
00:07:24.220 I mean, I'm aware of some of the things that can go wrong that would lead me to needing to dropkick somebody, but...
00:07:29.580 I like to do things as I've always done them.
00:07:32.060 I mean, if I've done them that way, then obviously I like doing them that way.
00:07:35.640 If I didn't like doing them that way, I wouldn't be doing them that way.
00:07:37.460 So if I am doing them that way, I'd like to do them that way, and I'd like to continue doing them that way.
00:07:41.420 If I want to stop doing them that way, it's because I don't like doing them that way anymore, so therefore I'm still doing what I want to do.
00:07:47.360 So I guess I'll say accurate.
00:07:50.640 I persist until a task is done.
00:07:53.060 I wish I could say accurate to that, and I think most people probably would say accurate, but I'm going to admit and say no, that I often will get bored and distracted by a squirrel.
00:08:04.520 Squirrel!
00:08:04.820 I spend time trying to discover and correct my faults and weaknesses.
00:08:10.860 I don't like to know about my faults and weaknesses.
00:08:13.380 I hold myself to very high standards.
00:08:16.800 I'll say accurate to that, although I just said a second ago that I'm not looking for my faults and weaknesses.
00:08:20.420 So this is really schizophrenic.
00:08:24.920 If I'm honest, I feel that I'm a bit better than other people.
00:08:27.820 Well, again, as we've established, podcast host, number one.
00:08:36.120 Number two, other reasons.
00:08:39.220 I am better than you.
00:08:40.760 I am an unusual sort of person.
00:08:42.580 I'll say accurate.
00:08:46.320 This is why this is six pages long, because it's the same.
00:08:48.560 They have three questions.
00:08:49.500 They repeat each one of them 30 times.
00:08:51.640 It's important to be prepared for any emergency.
00:08:54.780 We just did this.
00:08:57.100 Oh, no, the question there was, am I prepared?
00:08:59.360 And I said no.
00:09:01.240 But is it important for me to be prepared, even though I'm not?
00:09:05.320 Yes.
00:09:06.340 I think it's important.
00:09:07.240 I just don't do it.
00:09:08.580 I tend to be more optimistic than most people.
00:09:10.900 Well, obviously not inaccurate.
00:09:12.000 I tell people what I think, even if it's hard to hear.
00:09:15.100 Yes, of course.
00:09:16.220 I would rather follow the group than push for what I want.
00:09:19.320 Inaccurate.
00:09:20.260 I'm just going to, I got to just roll through these.
00:09:22.440 This has been going on forever.
00:09:23.840 I set ambitious goals for myself.
00:09:25.780 I think we've established a million times that I do set goals.
00:09:28.600 Yes.
00:09:29.700 I'm an important member of my social group.
00:09:32.380 We did literally that same question, didn't we?
00:09:34.720 What did I say?
00:09:35.320 Accurate?
00:09:35.780 Who cares?
00:09:37.180 Okay, we just got to get through this.
00:09:38.220 I make alliances with people who can help me stay safe and secure.
00:09:42.000 I mean, inaccurate, because that's not what I'm thinking about.
00:09:45.980 And what do you mean make an alliance with a person?
00:09:48.000 What is this, survivor?
00:09:49.080 Mark!
00:09:49.580 Mark!
00:09:50.100 Mark!
00:09:50.620 Mark!
00:09:51.080 I enjoy caring for others and their needs.
00:09:54.800 Depends on who it is.
00:09:56.780 You know, if it's my family, that's pretty much it.
00:09:59.600 That's the extent of the people that I enjoy caring for, but I'll put accurate.
00:10:03.400 I believe that things usually work out for the best.
00:10:06.740 Well, clearly they don't.
00:10:08.040 Okay, finally, we're on the last page.
00:10:09.640 Praise Jesus.
00:10:11.420 Okay.
00:10:12.600 We're just going to run through these.
00:10:13.740 I make important contributions to my community.
00:10:16.660 Yes.
00:10:17.320 Podcast.
00:10:17.920 I feel I never truly belong in social groups.
00:10:20.500 Dumb question.
00:10:21.440 Neutral.
00:10:22.020 I want to learn as much as I can about how the world works.
00:10:24.880 Yeah, everyone does.
00:10:26.140 Trying new things keeps life interesting.
00:10:27.900 Accurate.
00:10:31.720 I'm an upbeat person.
00:10:32.740 No.
00:10:33.500 I am usually the one to take a stand when others won't.
00:10:37.160 I'll say yes.
00:10:38.120 Other people have stronger opinions than I do.
00:10:40.220 Probably not.
00:10:42.440 Sure, I'll say accurate.
00:10:43.740 Everyone has a role to play in society and a duty to do their best.
00:10:46.620 Sure, yes.
00:10:47.760 I am concerned with protecting what I have.
00:10:49.940 Yes, obviously.
00:10:50.700 I have a good sense of what my future holds.
00:10:52.620 Okay, fine.
00:10:54.080 I'm about to throw my computer across the freaking room.
00:10:56.460 I try new ways of doing things just to see if they will work.
00:11:01.120 Sure, okay, fine.
00:11:02.400 Self-improvement is a major interest of mine.
00:11:06.360 And we'll just call that a yes because I want to get to the results.
00:11:09.000 And finally, we've completed that.
00:11:10.220 And let's find out what my personality is.
00:11:16.280 Here's what we find out.
00:11:18.240 I have a 98% match with an eight.
00:11:21.300 What is an eight?
00:11:22.660 Eights see themselves as strong and powerful
00:11:24.840 and seek to stand up for what they believe in.
00:11:27.060 They rarely see themselves as having vulnerabilities
00:11:29.020 and have the belief that they can handle pretty much anything that comes their way.
00:11:33.060 Eights have easy access to their anger.
00:11:35.120 Have easy access to their anger?
00:11:38.060 What does that mean?
00:11:39.160 I can feel your anger.
00:11:42.320 Is that a positive way of putting they are hotheads and they have a bad temper?
00:11:46.780 Which obviously is the case.
00:11:48.520 Because I've been screaming at this test the entire time.
00:11:51.520 And as a result, sometimes seem as seen as intimidating to others.
00:11:55.840 However, eights typically see themselves as fighters,
00:11:58.720 standing up for what is right and protecting the weak.
00:12:01.800 But I also have a 77% match with a one.
00:12:04.960 Ones are defined by their belief that everything must be in order
00:12:08.120 and by their feeling that they must always be right.
00:12:10.700 They show great commitment and determination to improve conditions
00:12:13.920 that they find need improvement
00:12:15.620 and they are forward in encouraging others to improve their performance too.
00:12:20.120 You know what I think it is?
00:12:22.800 I am an enigma.
00:12:24.860 I am a mystery
00:12:25.940 to myself
00:12:28.080 and to the world.
00:12:29.520 I think that is what we have learned
00:12:32.320 from this personality test
00:12:34.200 mainly because we have to stop this video
00:12:35.920 at some point.
00:12:37.520 Thanks for watching.