The Matt Walsh Show - February 13, 2021


Matt Walsh Tries to Laugh at Feminist Comedian Lilly Singh! (WARNING： 99% Will Fail)


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

184.4593

Word count

1,691

Sentence count

180

Harmful content

Misogyny

15

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

I ve been looking for a funny feminist comedian for months, and I ve come up with nothing. I ve tried to laugh at Samantha Bee, Chelsea Handler, and Hannah Gadsby, and they ve all failed me. So today, I m getting back on the horse, and we re going to try to ride this thing to victory. Today we re looking at comedian Lilly Singh.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 And no, being bisexual is not a superpower.
00:00:02.260 What's your superpower?
00:00:03.020 Oh, I can fly.
00:00:03.920 And you, what's your superpower?
00:00:05.040 I can, like, ride dolphins and I have a magical trident.
00:00:08.060 And you, what's yours?
00:00:08.880 I can have sex with different people.
00:00:13.500 So I've been putting this off for a long time.
00:00:15.680 Months ago, I began my quest to find a funny feminist comedian. 1.00
00:00:20.120 Well, not even a funny feminist comedian, actually, because the bar is lower than that. 1.00
00:00:23.700 I just, they don't need to be funny all the time, or even most of the time.
00:00:26.920 I just need to find a feminist comedian who can make me laugh one time. 1.00
00:00:31.740 I want just one laugh.
00:00:32.800 That's all I'm asking for.
00:00:34.080 I don't even need them to be funny twice.
00:00:35.500 Just one time.
00:00:37.000 And so far, I've come up empty.
00:00:38.140 So I tried to laugh at Samantha Bee.
00:00:40.300 Instead, I nearly died of boredom.
00:00:42.300 I tried to laugh at Hannah Gadsby. 0.93
00:00:44.000 Instead, I was depressed for three days afterwards.
00:00:46.280 Tried to laugh at Chelsea Handler.
00:00:47.980 And instead, I left only feeling very concerned.
00:00:50.840 I'm not suicidal.
00:00:51.600 You don't have to worry about it.
00:00:52.680 I did not laugh at any of their jokes or even come close to laughing.
00:00:55.180 So today, I'm getting back on the horse, and we're going to try to ride this thing to victory.
00:01:00.980 Today, I will try to laugh at one of the newest comedy sensations in the female comedy space. 1.00
00:01:07.560 Her name is Lilly Singh.
00:01:09.280 She was a popular YouTuber who then became a late-night host.
00:01:13.000 I just found out about her existence two days ago, so that's how plugged in I am to everything.
00:01:18.360 She replaced, apparently, Carson Daly.
00:01:20.360 Carson Daly has had a job on television for about 73 years.
00:01:23.760 A little mummy reference, a little Joan Rivers, put them together.
00:01:26.480 It's funny.
00:01:27.220 It's not easy to fill those shoes, is what I'm saying.
00:01:29.220 Lilly Singh is trying.
00:01:30.920 Feminist lover. 0.99
00:01:31.960 She's a big star, apparently. 0.99
00:01:33.640 Maybe she's the one who can crack the code. 0.94
00:01:35.460 Let's find out.
00:01:36.300 We'll start with this.
00:01:37.580 This is a bit she did on International Women's Day. 0.69
00:01:40.680 I am pumped because this Sunday, we're celebrating International Women's Day, y'all!
00:01:46.980 Woo! 0.99
00:01:47.160 Now, don't worry.
00:01:49.500 You don't have to remember to go out and get anyone flowers.
00:01:52.700 You just have to remember to go out and fight for equal pay for women in the workplace. 0.88
00:01:57.480 Yeah.
00:01:58.400 I think it's by the checkout at CVS.
00:02:01.920 Now, I know there are guys out there thinking,
00:02:05.600 International Women's Day?
00:02:07.660 Why don't we have an International Men's Day?
00:02:10.900 God bless you, Twitter.
00:02:12.020 Well, you're in luck because you do.
00:02:15.000 It's actually on November 19th.
00:02:17.380 But you wouldn't know that because you're too busy celebrating it every other day of the year.
00:02:25.900 Why do I do this to myself?
00:02:28.000 Why do I do this?
00:02:30.980 I don't, I'm just doubting my own life choices.
00:02:34.420 This is the level of humor that we're starting with.
00:02:38.200 Every day is men's day, har har har. 1.00
00:02:40.620 It's so unoriginal and witless that you may as well not say anything.
00:02:44.720 There's no point of even making the joke if that's what,
00:02:47.080 if it's between making no joke or pulling a joke from a Facebook meme from five years ago,
00:02:52.120 then you may as well make no joke at all.
00:02:54.260 You may as well get up there for your monologue and just stare blankly into the camera.
00:02:58.260 That would be significantly funnier than this so far.
00:03:01.300 By the way, you're damn right, lady.
00:03:03.000 Every day is, is men's day. 1.00
00:03:04.960 Every day is my day as a man.
00:03:06.520 You are damn right.
00:03:07.540 Every day could be your day too.
00:03:09.660 If you just went out and asserted yourself instead of whining about sexism
00:03:13.320 and being so damn focused on how everyone else feels about you.
00:03:17.520 You know, when you sit around demanding that other people affirm you and celebrate you,
00:03:20.880 if that's how you live your life, then yeah, you get one day of the year.
00:03:23.740 That's all you get.
00:03:25.140 I take every day.
00:03:26.280 I go and take it.
00:03:27.320 Okay.
00:03:28.060 Not funny so far, but maybe this will get better.
00:03:30.000 Let's keep listening.
00:03:30.600 Also, fun fact, November 19th is also International Toilet Day.
00:03:38.140 Now, I'm not saying men are toilets, but both holidays are mostly catered towards a bunch of white johns. 1.00
00:03:48.600 Oh, my God.
00:03:50.680 Oh, my God.
00:03:52.020 Lord, save me.
00:03:53.000 Deliver me from this trial.
00:03:54.820 White johns.
00:03:56.520 That joke made the cut.
00:03:58.280 Consider this.
00:03:58.900 Okay.
00:04:00.240 This is a late night show.
00:04:02.900 Presumably, they have some kind of writer's room.
00:04:04.820 You wouldn't know it from the material, but I assume they do.
00:04:07.040 So there were a bunch of jokes that didn't make it to air.
00:04:11.960 Right.
00:04:12.460 They actually threw out jokes because they were worse than that.
00:04:17.340 Maybe there's a brilliant writer in that room.
00:04:20.160 Probably a man.
00:04:20.980 Let's be honest.
00:04:21.500 No offense.
00:04:22.300 Could be the second coming of Richard Pryor in that room, writing material.
00:04:26.140 And maybe her sense of humor is so bad that she throws those out.
00:04:29.920 The brilliant material.
00:04:31.160 I don't like that.
00:04:32.180 White johns, though.
00:04:33.180 That is killer.
00:04:34.360 Let's do that.
00:04:35.320 This is the female equivalent of basically a dad joke. 1.00
00:04:38.260 But dad jokes don't work unless they're coming from a dad.
00:04:41.240 I don't mean to be sexist, but you've got to be a man to pull them off.
00:04:43.200 You can't do a dad joke in a dress, is what I'm trying to say.
00:04:46.300 I feel like not enough people know about International Women's Day.
00:04:49.980 I remember I asked one guy if he knew what IWD is, and he said,
00:04:55.240 yeah, can you believe George Bush lied about them being in Iraq?
00:04:59.960 What are you talking about?
00:05:02.920 According to Wikipedia, International Women's Day is only an official holiday
00:05:08.040 in 26 countries, and wait for it, the U.S. is not one of them.
00:05:13.760 That's right.
00:05:15.280 Essentially, it's the difference between how I'm treated on this show
00:05:18.560 and how I'm treated when I try to get a drink at a bar.
00:05:21.920 What?
00:05:24.620 Lily, you don't have to do this to yourself.
00:05:27.300 You really don't.
00:05:28.020 You had a good thing going.
00:05:28.840 You had a good life.
00:05:29.540 You had your YouTube channel.
00:05:30.560 You were making money.
00:05:31.140 This is so bad that Carson Daly is starting to look charismatic by comparison.
00:05:37.520 People are actually pining now for the comedic genius of Carson Daly.
00:05:42.080 That's how bad this is.
00:05:44.080 Maybe that was the plan all along by NBC.
00:05:46.480 Maybe they just brought her in to make people appreciate Carson Daly more.
00:05:50.640 I don't know.
00:05:51.480 Do you know why International Women's Day isn't an official holiday in the U.S.?
00:05:55.020 Because it's stupid.
00:05:56.420 Why would we have a holiday to celebrate women? 1.00
00:05:58.740 Yeah, celebrate certain women.
00:05:59.880 If you want to be celebrated, go out and do something to be celebrated for.
00:06:05.000 Not just because you're a woman.
00:06:06.040 That's not an accomplishment to be one.
00:06:08.460 Tell a funny joke, Lily.
00:06:11.000 That would be an achievement.
00:06:12.240 You tell a funny joke and I will name a holiday after you.
00:06:16.900 I'll build you a statue.
00:06:18.040 I'll name a galaxy after you.
00:06:19.580 Just tell one funny joke.
00:06:20.880 That's all I ask.
00:06:21.660 We're going to try one more.
00:06:23.520 And this is one.
00:06:24.500 Okay, I figure this one has got a lot of views on YouTube.
00:06:26.900 This particular segment and really popular.
00:06:31.620 So, who knows?
00:06:32.900 Maybe this is the one.
00:06:33.640 Let's listen.
00:06:34.520 And today, we're going to talk about LGBTQ plus issues.
00:06:40.440 That's right.
00:06:42.920 Okay, I made a huge mistake.
00:06:44.560 There is no way that this woman is going to take this anywhere funny. 1.00
00:06:50.460 That's right, Twitter.
00:06:51.400 Start your engines.
00:06:52.100 Now, as some of you may know, about a year ago, I came out as bisexual.
00:06:57.100 I tweeted out, female, colored, bisexual.
00:07:01.100 Throughout my life, these have proven to be obstacles from time to time.
00:07:04.400 But now, I'm fully embracing them as my superpowers.
00:07:07.320 No matter how many boxes you check, I encourage you to do the same.
00:07:11.020 And I really do.
00:07:12.040 I encourage you to do the same.
00:07:14.280 Okay, they're applauding her tweet.
00:07:17.240 That's what we've been reduced to.
00:07:19.080 And no, being bisexual is not a superpower.
00:07:20.920 What's your superpower?
00:07:21.900 Oh, I can fly.
00:07:22.780 And you, what's your superpower?
00:07:23.940 I can ride dolphins and I have a magical trident.
00:07:26.940 And you, what's yours?
00:07:27.800 I can have sex with different people.
00:07:30.600 So, no, not a superpower.
00:07:31.880 Also, not funny.
00:07:33.440 So, we haven't got to the funny part yet.
00:07:35.220 And I'm increasingly despairing of the possibility that we ever will.
00:07:38.120 You know what?
00:07:38.480 I was going to end it here, but I just thought, let's be totally fair.
00:07:41.080 Okay, this is all material from last season of her show.
00:07:44.020 I think it's from 2020.
00:07:45.680 She has a new season that just came out.
00:07:47.580 This is just the most recent episode of hers.
00:07:49.560 And let's see if it got any better.
00:07:52.100 Let's talk about Bridgerton.
00:07:53.340 So, it's been a month since Bridgerton came out and it continues to dominate the conversation on social media.
00:07:59.280 Like, straight up, my Twitter feed looks like a 19th century lookbook and I am not mad.
00:08:03.420 For those of you that don't know, because, I don't know, you're living under a rock, what are you doing?
00:08:06.460 The Netflix show is an adaptation of the book series by Julia Quinn and it is set in London in the 1800s.
00:08:12.420 Essentially, it's a story of noble families that attend balls and try to marry their daughters off.
00:08:16.580 In other words, it's a period piece that skips all the boring stuff about trade routes and instead focuses on the dresses and the sex.
00:08:22.260 Nope. Nope. Not any better.
00:08:26.060 Still have not splurged on that comedy writer yet, so it's only gotten worse somehow.
00:08:30.260 Plus, they seem to have taken her microphone away, too.
00:08:32.820 Next step is to turn the camera off, turn the lights off, and just spare me, spare the world of this, because I can't take any more of it.
00:08:40.060 Next step is to turn the camera off, turn the lights off, and turn the lights off, and turn the lights off.