The Matt Walsh Show - My Crew Gave Me New Year's Resolutions For 2024

00:00:00.000 Okay, Happy New Year, everybody.

00:00:02.720 As you get into a new year, people like to do New Year's resolutions.

00:00:05.440 And I am not, probably just surprised you learned,

00:00:07.680 I'm not a big New Year's resolution guy. I don't believe in them.

00:00:10.320 But I guess apparently my team thinks that there are many things

00:00:13.040 that I should resolve to do in the next year.

00:00:14.400 So although I don't believe in New Year's resolutions,

00:00:16.640 I've been told that they have come up with New Year's resolutions for me.

00:00:20.720 And I think I know exactly how this is going to go.

00:00:22.960 But who knows? I could be surprised.

00:00:30.000 So this first one is coming from Holly.

00:00:32.400 And this resolution that she wants to give you is be more observant.

00:00:38.320 Are you saying that I'm not observant?

00:00:40.720 Would you like an example of you not being observant?

00:00:42.800 Oh, is that what this is?

00:00:44.240 I should have known. I should have known.

00:00:46.960 Okay, let's see.

00:00:48.880 I sometimes doubt the honest, the value of honesty in marriage.

00:00:51.680 And I'll just explain why.

00:00:52.800 Like, for example, yesterday, I got home from traveling.

00:00:55.360 I was traveling over the weekend.

00:00:57.120 And a few hours after I got home, my wife said to me,

00:01:00.000 hey, so you didn't say anything about my hair.

00:01:02.080 Okay, this is where I was going to be honest.

00:01:03.360 And I said, what about your hair?

00:01:06.160 And she said, I dyed it.

00:01:07.680 You know, it's brown now.

00:01:08.960 It was blonde before. 0.52

00:01:10.400 And then I said, it was blonde before? 0.94

00:01:12.400 And then I realized I should stop saying things in that moment.

00:01:14.800 But here's my point.

00:01:16.080 I was honest for the whole conversation.

00:01:17.520 I was completely honest.

00:01:18.560 First of all, I don't think that's an issue of being observant.

00:01:21.360 As you know, number one, one of my disabilities of many is color blindness.

00:01:27.200 I don't know what color my wife's hair is. 1.00

00:01:29.280 I have no idea.

00:01:30.240 I know it's some shade of brownish blonde. 0.82

00:01:32.960 I can't, I literally can't tell.

00:01:34.960 It's not my fault.

00:01:35.760 And it's not that I'm not observing.

00:01:36.960 I think I observe different things.

00:01:39.120 Okay, we all choose in life what things to focus on.

00:01:42.880 And so there are things that I don't focus on.

00:01:44.480 There are things that I don't notice.

00:01:45.760 It might also be, I just don't care.

00:01:47.200 Like, it could also be that.

00:01:48.400 I don't care.

00:01:50.080 I don't care.

00:01:51.600 Okay, so the second resolution that we have for you is actually coming from myself.

00:01:55.840 And this is going to be, be more consistent.

00:01:58.480 Can I just say, I don't like the daylight savings slander and defamation that goes on.

00:02:03.200 It's something that we do.

00:02:04.160 It's a sacred tradition.

00:02:05.520 It's the sacred tradition of our forefathers.

00:02:07.520 It would keep us stuck in daylight savings eternally.

00:02:11.120 Yet the daylight savings tradition continued lingering on, hanging there uselessly, like some kind of vestigial limb.

00:02:17.840 And it was time to end it.

00:02:19.120 I don't, I don't hear any inconsistency there.

00:02:25.600 What's the inconsistency?

00:02:26.880 Well, the inconsistency is before you said you liked it.

00:02:29.760 And then the next year you said you didn't.

00:02:31.600 It's a, it's a, it's, it's emotions.

00:02:36.320 Like I do have emotions also, and I might not seem like that.

00:02:39.280 And so sometimes, you know, I just, I get, I get caught up in the moment sometimes.

00:02:44.720 So what I'm hearing is you're also not emotionally consistent.

00:02:47.680 No, because, but there's an, here's what I'm saying.

00:02:50.880 I have a consistent view of what daylight savings is, as you just heard, but how I personally experience it.

00:03:01.120 Was not consistent.

00:03:02.080 And feel about it changes because I'm a living, vibrant human being.

00:03:08.960 Everything I'm saying makes sense.

00:03:10.560 I'm sure of it.

00:03:11.280 Okay.

00:03:12.480 The third one is coming from Sean, and this is just a blanket one.

00:03:16.320 We don't have a specific example, but it's just in general, can you be more agreeable?

00:03:20.800 First of all, how is that the one that you don't have examples of?

00:03:24.080 No, I can't.

00:03:25.200 That's just a flat no.

00:03:26.320 No way!

00:03:27.680 Okay, so the next one is, be less offensive.

00:03:32.000 This is coming from your lawyers.

00:03:33.280 Undermine the voting power, which is the essence of a democracy.

00:03:40.480 Those eyebrows are basically, that's January 6th all over again.

00:03:44.400 Those arms, can I even call those withered things arms?

00:03:48.480 He's literally built like Gumby.

00:03:50.560 The best argument for taking voting rights away from women is, is actually the view. 0.99

00:03:54.560 So that's kind of the irony here.

00:03:55.760 These must be the dog-faced pony soldiers that Biden warned us about. 0.98

00:03:59.200 If only we had listened.

00:04:00.240 Uh, I mean, what I take from that is I need to be more offensive.

00:04:02.960 Actually, if anything.

00:04:03.920 Can we just make that a video?

00:04:04.960 Can we do a, can we do a 20 minute compilation?

00:04:06.800 No way!

00:04:09.840 I forgot about that arm.

00:04:11.200 The, I've never seen an arm with less definition.

00:04:14.320 It's just the same exact width the whole way up.

00:04:18.080 It's an amazing arm.

00:04:19.840 I've never seen an arm like that.

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00:05:35.920 All right, so we have the next one coming from both Pavel and Austin, and this one is be on time.

00:05:43.120 No, I, you know, I can't.

00:05:46.320 I can't.

00:05:47.040 This might be the most annoying one of the year.

00:05:49.520 Well, no, we just can't. We just can't. You don't understand.

00:05:52.000 So you're supposed to start your show at 10 a.m. every day, and we have a bunch of screenshots

00:05:56.160 from our production reports showing when you actually start.

00:05:58.880 So we have 10.51 a.m., 10.29 a.m., 10.24 a.m., 10.29 a.m., 10.41 a.m., 10.35 a.m.,

00:06:07.680 and these are all just from this month.

00:06:09.280 You know, even I cannot be perfect, so that's the one area in life is my job.

00:06:15.600 The one area where there are people waiting on me and people depending on me,

00:06:18.480 that's the only area where I'm not on time.

00:06:20.800 I'm hopelessly flawed.

00:06:22.320 The show's supposed to start at 10 o'clock, right?

00:06:24.720 And based on what you just showed, I'm always in the 10 o'clock hour.

00:06:27.840 So I think I'm close enough that I can say, oh, the show started at about 10 o'clock.

00:06:32.640 No, sure, that works.

00:06:33.680 No, yeah, because if something happens at like 10.32, and you're telling somebody about it,

00:06:38.640 and, you know, later in the day, and they ask you, oh, when did that happen?

00:06:41.920 And you say, oh, it's about 10 o'clock.

00:06:43.440 I don't think 10.51 counts as about 10 o'clock.

00:06:46.160 I think that counts as about 11 o'clock.

00:06:48.080 No, you said, you know, it's about 10 o'clock, around 10 o'clock.

00:06:50.640 10 o'clock hour, it's somewhere in there.

00:06:52.160 That's how you, that's what you would say.

00:06:54.080 I'm already pretty much on time, all the time, except when I'm not.

00:06:58.320 Okay, and this one is coming from the Crane Boys.

00:07:01.680 They wanted you to learn to laugh more and also stop being a Ravens fan.

00:07:07.680 No, I do.

00:07:08.640 I don't think it's not.

00:07:09.440 I do laugh once every three or four months.

00:07:15.440 You said you have to catch me.

00:07:16.480 You have to catch me when I have a scheduled laugh.

00:07:18.400 I schedule it.

00:07:18.960 I have it on my calendar.

00:07:19.760 I don't know about that.

00:07:20.960 I'm not sure about that one. 0.65

00:07:22.400 That guy's a little crazy. 0.59

00:07:24.400 You just choose one of those. 0.99

00:07:25.360 Cut out the other ones.

00:07:26.400 So this one is coming from Michael Knowles, and this is because he's such a music enthusiast.

00:07:31.360 He would really like to encourage you this year to learn the banjo, for real.

00:07:36.240 Not only did I already learn it, are we going to play that video to prove?

00:07:39.840 First of all, you didn't prepare me because I could have come with my own evidence to support

00:07:43.440 my arguments.

00:07:44.320 But not only did I learn it, but I actually played, it is an actual fact,

00:07:48.960 I played the banjo with a professional, with one of the top banjo players in the world.

00:07:57.760 So I can't learn it again.

00:07:59.040 You learn it.

00:07:59.760 You learn it.

00:08:00.160 It's learned.

00:08:01.600 Okay.

00:08:01.760 So this next one is coming from basically just literally everyone.

00:08:05.520 It's be more approachable.

00:08:07.600 Before the event, we had our VIP meet and greet, which was kind of a receiving line.

00:08:15.120 And I have to say, I know I talk about how I'm an introvert, but I thought I was being

00:08:23.760 pretty jovial by my standards.

00:08:27.360 You know, I was making, I had the small talk down with each person.

00:08:30.960 It's like 350 people in a row.

00:08:32.640 And, but people kept coming up to me even still and saying, like each person that came

00:08:36.800 up would console me saying, oh, this is, this will be over soon.

00:08:40.160 Don't worry about it.

00:08:40.880 They were consoling me because I was being forced to meet them.

00:08:43.280 That's what I thought.

00:08:44.320 Am I really giving off those vibes?

00:08:45.760 I thought, I thought I'm doing pretty well here.

00:08:47.280 It's true.

00:08:48.000 Like you put anybody, even the most outgoing person, you put them in a room and then you

00:08:52.880 have a single file line and you have to, you have to have a brief exchange, which, which

00:08:58.000 with each person in that line, as they just, as you, as they file through the line, uh, it's just,

00:09:04.400 it's hard to do.

00:09:06.000 And then on top of it, here's the problem.

00:09:07.520 You try to make some like a little, have a little small talk exchange with each person,

00:09:11.360 but the other people in the line, especially the people who are closer to the front,

00:09:14.880 they can hear your exchange with the person who's, who's, who you're with.

00:09:18.720 And so you feel like you have to kind of change it.

00:09:20.320 Like you can't say the exact same thing with each person.

00:09:23.760 And I don't know.

00:09:24.400 I just don't have, I don't have that many things in the arsenal when it comes to small talk.

00:09:27.440 That's not my, that's not my fault.

00:09:28.960 I don't think that's a lack of approachability.

00:09:30.640 It's a lack of ammunition of a small talk ammunition.

00:09:33.440 There's only so much you could say, but generally speaking,

00:09:35.680 I'm very approachable.

00:09:36.480 I'm a really nice guy.

00:09:38.000 I think.

00:09:39.520 Nice.

00:09:40.400 I did actually just get a bonus one though from Ben Shapiro.

00:09:44.160 Um, it's actually, this is a really easy one that all it says is get back to work.

00:09:48.880 That I can do.

00:09:49.920 I would love to do that.

00:09:51.360 Let's do that.

00:09:51.920 Good.

00:09:52.800 Thank you.

The Matt Walsh Show - December 27, 2023

My Crew Gave Me New Year's Resolutions For 2024

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