＂My Friend Is TOO NICE At The Gym.＂ - Matt Walsh Answers AITA Questions
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
240.17712
Summary
A straight guy asks if he should be open to dating a bisexual woman, and Beth asks if she should be the a-hole for telling him that he's crazy for being open to a woman who s bisexual. Plus, a guy who wants to learn how to be a better man at the gym, and a gym goer who is a jerk at it.
Transcript
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I've been accepted into your culture. Your chief inscribed his name on me.
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Well, let's get into some, uh, am I the a-hole questions here.
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Beth says, here's an interesting question for you.
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I have a straight guy friend who said that he would be open to dating a bisexual woman.
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It's not that he's seeking a bisexual partner, just that if the right girl came around and she happened to be bisexual, it wouldn't be a showstopper.
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As a conservative and a Catholic, I think this is wrong and a recipe for disaster.
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My friend is not strong in any religious or political beliefs, so instead of using that basis to defend my position,
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I said that if his partner is fond of intimate relationships with other women, then he alone will never be able to fulfill her desires.
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In his opinion, a straight woman can have impulses for other men, just like a bisexual woman can have impulses for both men and women.
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He thinks as long as they don't act out on the impulse, there's no difference between the two.
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Am I the a-hole for telling my friend he's slightly psychotic for being open to dating a bisexual woman?
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No, you're not the a-hole because you're right.
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And in my opinion, in my opinion, you can't be the a-hole when you're right.
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That's your automatic get out of, well, I was going to say it's your automatic get out of the a-hole free card.
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Stop right there, I can't hear this, but keep going.
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Get out of being the a-hole free card is what I should say.
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They say that it's possible to be right, but also a jerk about it.
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That said, psychotic is maybe overstating the case slightly.
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A few months ago, I was approached by a friend who wanted me to teach him how to lift
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and to help him get in shape so he could be a better man, father, husband.
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He's a good friend, so I agreed, and we've been working out every morning since.
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He's constantly smiling and talks like he's a librarian or a kindergarten teacher.
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He'll walk up to guys who have just finished a set and tell them,
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Some guys are cool about it, but some I can see are starting to avoid him.
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He'll wave and smile, get openly eye contact, dodged,
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and then he'll just walk himself into the guy's direct line of sight to wave and smile again.
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At this point, he's unavoidable, and the conversation is usually,
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I understand he's a nice guy, but that could really be taken the wrong way.
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If you're going up to someone at the gym and you don't know them,
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That could really be misinterpreted, so I'd be careful with that.
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He's clearly starting to bother people, and I'm clearly affiliated with him.
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Am I the a-hole for wanting to tell him to lock it up and just be normal?
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It's my opinion that the gym is a place where you just get in, get your stuff done, and get out.
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It doesn't feel like it needs to be a social event.
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The rule for gyms, you know, it's not quite as strict as the rule for a men's bathroom.
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Look, I don't know about women, you know, they go into the bathroom together,
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I don't care if you're in the bathroom, and you see, like, your long-lost brother
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who's been stranded on a desert island for the last three years, like in Castoy,
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So what I'm saying is, it's not quite to that level when you're out in the gym itself,
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Unless you see someone doing something that's, like, dangerous,
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and they can hurt themselves, you feel like you need to.
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Especially if the gym has become a big part of this guy's life, you want to talk to him
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The other thing is, people at the gym are nice.
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You know, I think if you've never been to the gym before, you have this, maybe some impression
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that people are going to be, I don't know, people are going to be aggressive or judgmental.
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Planet Fitness, their whole deal is, oh, it's the judgment-free zone.
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But that's really, that's like any gym you go to.
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No one's like, no one's, you know, paying attention to you.
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Unless you go to one of these gyms where there's a woman on TikTok who's, like, filming and
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But you still want to let, leave people alone, basically.
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About a year ago, I was talking with this girl, but we stopped being friends because
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We were talking over text and I forgot how it came up, but she said that she believes
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I don't remember her argument exactly, but I believe that she said that fairies are actually
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The only way you can see them is if you know how to see people's auras.
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And she said that she trained herself to read and see people's auras.
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She explained how you would see the fairies' auras, but I didn't really understand her explanation.
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She started talking about the earth's vibrations during her explanation.
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We then awkwardly moved on to reincarnation for some reason.
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She said, I'm also Christian, but I believe in reincarnation.
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I asked her how she believes in reincarnation while claiming to be a Christian.
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And she said she thinks God gives you a second chance if he thinks that you still have a
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She told me that I was being a jerk and that I was being too critical about her beliefs.
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In her defense, I was being a little harsh, but my patience was pretty much gone at that
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The next day, she didn't want to be friends with me anymore because it seemed like I didn't
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She then proceeded to say that I'm a nice guy with good qualities, but I need to work on myself
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The person who believes in invisible fairies that you can see with the aid of the earth's
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vibration is saying, you need to work on yourself.
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I'm currently in my senior year of high school and I sometimes see her on campus.
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One time we were walking past each other and she glanced at me and then quickly looked
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If you were me, what would you say to this girl?
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Well, I wouldn't say anything to her at this point.
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Like, maybe you were a little aggressive in how you responded to these claims of hers.
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And your only mistake really was to even get into the argument.
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It's like, if someone's talking about invisible fairies and auras and everything, you're not
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This is a totally unfalsifiable and there's probably not a lot you could say.
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It's hard enough to be respectful of someone's viewpoint when you have a disagreement, even
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when their viewpoint is even like vaguely respectable.
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But when they believe the craziest thing you've ever heard, especially in the moment, you can't
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There's a good chance that this is only the tip of the crazy iceberg with this girl.
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And so, you know, it's probably for the best to just move on.
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My husband and I recently moved our four children under five to Utah from Alaska.
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My husband grew up in Alaska and his parents and one sister still live there.
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His family is very nice, but his mom and him don't get along and his mom is a big lib.
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She was only vaguely approving when we had our third child and outright asked, weren't
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We moved because the extremely long dark winters were really getting to me and my husband makes
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more money here so I can stay home with the kids.
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But before we left, she screamed at me in front of my kids that I'm a child abuser for disciplining
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She went on a rant about timeout being traumatizing, that she was smart enough to use daycare when
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she was young so she wouldn't need to resort to timeout.
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Oh, yeah, I farmed all the childcare out to somebody else, so I didn't have to do anything.
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I was good and told her firmly but kindly that she was out of place and that we would be
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She now constantly is messaging us for my husband and my oldest to come and visit.
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I won't let my son go up without me to visit because I don't know if she'd be whispering
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My husband thinks I might be overreacting, but I'm still extremely hesitant.
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Am I the a-hole for refusing to let my four-year-old go see her in another state without me?
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She's on board with the crazy transgender train for kids, so I get so terrified she's
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If you're wondering, I don't know that my husband would even notice if she was whispering
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crazy stuff to my little boy since he tries to be in a different room from her when they're
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Yelling at you and accusing you of child abuse?
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Is maybe not an unforgivable offense, but it's a serious offense.
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Doing that in front of your kids, so she's undermining you already in front of your kids,
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undermining your authority and your punishment, and calling you a child abuser in front of
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That alone, you know, you would be justified for not wanting to be around her at all.
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If that were me, family members screamed at me in front of my kids and called me a child
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I don't think I'd be around that person, maybe ever again.
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And I'm not saying that should be the case for you and you need to cut her out of your
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life completely, but that is the kind of thing that it's just a line you don't cross.
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It does mean that if someone is on board with that, certainly for me, it means I know I can't