The Matt Walsh Show - May 11, 2024


Real Lawyer Reacts To JUDGED By Matt Walsh

Topics
judge hands
Hosted by
Matt Walsh
Mentioned
Hallow Daytona Francisco Chavez Bye Charlie Brown Jacksonville Outbridge
Ep. 1366 - The 'Experts' Push Bird Flu As The Next Pandemic — Just In Time For The Election Introducing 'Mr. Birchum' - The Show Hollywood Wouldn't Touch

Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

198.74

Word count

2,284

Sentence count

250

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Toxicity

12

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of Judge Hands, James Sexton and Matt Walsh discuss a case involving a woman who claims her ex-boyfriend stole money from her and drove her to the Bahamas, where she claims he stole her car, and then abandoned her in the middle of the night.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 But this was all after the relationship was over?
00:00:02.040 And then you decided because of that, you're not paying for anything?
00:00:04.560 I do have to say, just from a technique standpoint, Matt's use of judge hands is excellent.
00:00:10.200 Five stars on the judge hands, for sure.
00:00:15.100 I'm James Sexton.
00:00:16.040 I'm a divorce lawyer based out of New York State.
00:00:18.380 I've been practicing divorce law for 25 years.
00:00:20.640 I've spent a lot of time in courtrooms getting yelled at by judges, making objections, having
00:00:24.640 them sustained, overruled.
00:00:26.160 And I've appeared in front of probably every kind of judge that you could imagine.
00:00:29.000 So I am very excited to be judging, judged by Matt Walsh.
00:00:35.340 That's, that feels good to me.
00:00:36.880 I hold your fate and perhaps even the fate of the world in my hands.
00:00:40.780 It's lofty.
00:00:41.740 Now tell me why you are here.
00:00:44.960 All right. 0.98
00:00:45.440 We're here today because my ex-girlfriend is very crazy and just pure psychotic. 1.00
00:00:52.200 That feels very subjective. 0.97
00:00:53.860 Is this your ex-girlfriend?
00:00:55.140 Unfortunately, yes.
00:00:56.080 I met her on a New Year's Eve party back in 2022.
00:01:00.960 When I met her, she was very free-spirited, loud, you know what I mean?
00:01:05.600 The good kind of crazy, you know, at the party. 0.71
00:01:07.820 The good kind of crazy.
00:01:08.980 Yeah.
00:01:09.140 It's always the good kind of crazy until it becomes the bad kind of crazy.
00:01:11.940 Is it a different crazy?
00:01:12.740 I've never met a good one. 0.55
00:01:13.620 Uh, well, this one, well, she was good crazy, you know, she was drinking, having a good time. 0.99
00:01:19.020 A loud, crazy drunk is the good kind?
00:01:21.700 Matt has really, um, mastered the furrowed brow of a sitting judge.
00:01:28.620 He's really got that down.
00:01:29.940 And I think that's a, that's a huge piece of the judging thing is the ability to sort of give that look
00:01:35.260 that says, like, what you're saying right now is insane and you know it.
00:01:40.000 And it's, uh, I've had, I've had that look given to me many, many times, so.
00:01:43.920 So he said, please don't drive my car, I don't have insurance, and you thought that that was what?
00:01:47.460 Just flirtatious?
00:01:49.540 What did you think?
00:01:50.060 He was joking?
00:01:50.840 If he didn't want me to drive the car, he would have took the key and had it with him.
00:01:53.940 Can't argue with that logic.
00:01:54.980 So your, your, your logic is that if something is left within eyesight of you, that it's consent automatically for you to take it?
00:02:06.360 I mean, not everything, but, like, he knows I needed to use it.
00:02:10.300 Where's my, where's my wallet?
00:02:12.560 All right, hide it, hide it, your honor.
00:02:14.900 Well, I feel like if we're together, whatever's his is mine too, and whatever mine is his, right?
00:02:20.040 Boy, I, I think I've met this woman a few hundred times in courtrooms.
00:02:23.620 Why is certain man want a woman to cook, want a woman to clean, do married woman stuff? 1.00
00:02:29.820 Matt loves the gavel, I have to say.
00:02:32.140 There's not a lot that you could say about Matt Walsh is liberal, but his use of the gavel is very liberal.
00:02:38.100 It is, it is, one might argue he is overly using the gavel.
00:02:42.780 It's really, they're decorative.
00:02:44.480 Like, I, I think in a 25-year career, I've seen a judge, like, use the gavel twice, and it was always, like, in kind of a mocking way.
00:02:51.680 I mean, it could be his thing, this could be, like, his judicial demeanor is defined by liberal use of the gavel.
00:02:58.880 Do we have evidence of this?
00:03:00.240 Yes, sir, I have pictures, I have photos of, when I went to the Bahamian, um, hospital, they had to kind of just...
00:03:07.700 I'm gonna have nightmares about this woman. 1.00
00:03:09.080 ...to a mask on me, I had to come right back to the United States to, uh, go to the emergency room, get a...
00:03:14.260 Matt's, Matt's look says it all right there.
00:03:17.040 It looks like he just ate a bad clam.
00:03:22.140 This disturbs me.
00:03:24.040 I don't, why are you showing me this?
00:03:25.540 I don't want to see it.
00:03:26.740 Because you asked for it, Judge.
00:03:28.020 Are you victim-blaming now?
00:03:29.600 I'm the victim.
00:03:31.500 No, I'm the victim.
00:03:32.420 I had to look at that.
00:03:34.500 You can't argue with that.
00:03:35.540 I had to look at that.
00:03:36.040 Look.
00:03:36.400 While your face looked like that, like that.
00:03:38.340 Judge.
00:03:38.640 What, what look would you say you're going for?
00:03:40.660 I felt the fact that Matt was able to maintain composure throughout this, uh, particular case was actually a real sign of his professionalism as a judge.
00:03:50.700 Because I don't know how, uh, he managed to keep a straight face between the two plastic surgery disasters that were in front of him there.
00:03:57.920 Because as someone who makes preposterous arguments to judges sometimes, the ability to keep a straight face when we're saying something absolutely insane to you is really something that, um, it must take some time to master.
00:04:10.100 But, but Matt, Matt got all over it right away early in his judicial career.
00:04:13.700 So that's impressive.
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00:05:09.760 Oh yeah, my cousin.
00:05:10.640 She came over to my house or whatever, and she's explaining to me that one day when she was over, her phone was supposedly in the couch.
00:05:19.000 Supposedly.
00:05:19.440 She asked somebody to call her phone, and he called it for her, and she's saying that that's how he got her number, that he was texting her that way.
00:05:28.560 The story already hurts.
00:05:29.900 But this was all after the relationship was over?
00:05:31.420 Mm-hmm.
00:05:31.820 And then you decided because of that, you're not paying for anything?
00:05:34.260 Yeah, I'm not doing it.
00:05:36.640 I feel like he still owes me.
00:05:38.280 What does he owe you?
00:05:39.720 Emotional distress that he's caused.
00:05:41.560 Emotional stress, okay.
00:05:42.560 Emotional distress he's caused you, would you put that price at $500, and that's what makes it even?
00:05:46.720 No.
00:05:46.980 How do you quantify the emotional distress?
00:05:48.720 I put the emotional distress at $1,000.
00:05:51.240 $1,000 of emotional distress, that's a good amount of emotional distress, I guess.
00:05:55.700 I do have to say, just from a technique standpoint, Matt's use of judge hands is excellent.
00:06:01.480 It really is like it's an art form, judge hands.
00:06:04.680 He does this one sometimes.
00:06:06.400 He does this one.
00:06:07.700 In this clip, he does this one.
00:06:09.200 It's kind of the pensive one.
00:06:10.840 But just overall, judge hands, five stars on the judge hands, for sure.
00:06:15.560 Well, let me ask you this, Mr. Outbridge.
00:06:17.900 Would you say that it's made your life better on the whole to chase hoes? 1.00
00:06:22.820 Has it made you a happier, more successful person?
00:06:25.320 Something about hearing Matt say the word hoes seriously is amazing. 1.00
00:06:28.760 I mean, in the moment, yeah.
00:06:30.620 In the moment?
00:06:31.500 Yeah, in the moment.
00:06:32.260 Then you got all those moments after you got to live with.
00:06:34.360 I mean, yeah.
00:06:36.240 Yeah.
00:06:36.880 When I think back in my life, yeah, definitely.
00:06:39.460 This is fairly emblematic of what is kind of wrong with the family law system, is you're
00:06:46.240 trying to quantify financially certain things, like how much is your emotional distress worth?
00:06:51.700 $1,000.
00:06:52.900 What does $1,000 worth of emotional distress look like?
00:06:56.380 So the fact that Matt kind of turns it back into a life lesson, like a Charlie Brown life
00:07:03.460 lesson for this guy about, you know, hey, what is the path that you've followed really
00:07:07.800 led you to, you know, these hoes ain't loyal sort of an approach. 1.00
00:07:12.000 I think that that was benevolent of him.
00:07:15.040 How do you get a license to strip?
00:07:17.740 Do you go to the DMV for that?
00:07:19.200 Actually, yeah.
00:07:20.240 Or the police station.
00:07:22.000 It's like an entertainment license.
00:07:23.600 You learn something new every day.
00:07:24.620 Actually, you do go to the DMV to get a license to strip?
00:07:26.960 Or maybe not the DMV.
00:07:28.420 Is that the tax collector?
00:07:29.260 I don't know.
00:07:30.020 Is that the what?
00:07:30.640 Wow.
00:07:31.060 The tax collector's office?
00:07:32.340 You know, the problem with democracy is that her vote equals mine. 1.00
00:07:35.380 I just want to say that right now.
00:07:36.800 No, that's the tax collector's office.
00:07:38.300 That's the IRS.
00:07:39.160 You don't go to the IRS to become a stripper, do you? 0.97
00:07:41.560 I already hated the IRS, and now I hate them more.
00:07:45.080 She couldn't get a license.
00:07:46.640 I couldn't get a license.
00:07:47.600 And so the next plan was, okay, well, this is a Jacksonville law.
00:07:50.760 Why don't we go to the next...
00:07:51.480 If you can't get a stripping license, what's next?
00:07:54.200 It's like an hour and a half or two hours, and that's Daytona.
00:07:58.160 And...
00:07:58.480 So Daytona doesn't have this standard where at least you have to be 21.
00:08:01.860 I think Daytona is like a drive-through stripper license.
00:08:04.400 It's easy. 0.98
00:08:04.820 Daytona is trashier than Jacksonville. 0.62
00:08:07.040 That's honestly... 0.99
00:08:08.040 No, you know what's really trashy?
00:08:08.980 That is an amazing achievement.
00:08:10.260 Jacksonville, you have to be 21 to strip, but you have to be 18 for nudity.
00:08:15.520 So you know those like nude...
00:08:16.720 I mean, maybe you don't know, but those nude strip clubs that are fully nude, you only 0.94
00:08:19.860 have to be 18.
00:08:20.620 But the strip... 0.99
00:08:21.080 Those nude strip clubs. 0.97
00:08:22.280 Right. 0.99
00:08:23.320 As opposed to the not nude ones?
00:08:26.660 I mean, they're like different ones.
00:08:28.360 I think it's sort of adorable that Matt actually doesn't know the distinction between an all-nude
00:08:32.820 strip club and, you know, which is...
00:08:35.600 Most jurisdictions have an all-nude strip club, also known as a juice bar, where you're not
00:08:40.640 allowed to serve alcohol, but women are allowed to be completely naked. 1.00
00:08:43.420 And then there are strip clubs where they can only be semi-nude. 1.00
00:08:47.780 Normally, they have to have their private areas covered.
00:08:49.880 Again, this case was a challenging one.
00:08:52.980 Challenging insofar as it was hard to imagine that either of these young women were actually
00:08:58.400 sufficiently intelligent to have found their way into the courtroom.
00:09:02.680 And he somehow, again, managed to not hold them both in contempt and throw them out.
00:09:06.100 I think the fact that Matt was not given the power to jail people or to assign people
00:09:10.740 towards execution was probably a smart move on someone's part, and I applaud that.
00:09:14.860 But I do think this is the kind of case where if he could have had them both held in contempt,
00:09:19.200 he definitely would have done so.
00:09:20.920 Have you sworn off the strip club scene?
00:09:23.060 Are you done?
00:09:25.480 No.
00:09:26.000 That's a long pause.
00:09:27.840 I don't want to...
00:09:29.080 You've answered the question.
00:09:30.300 I don't want to say...
00:09:31.180 You've answered it.
00:09:31.760 I mean, yeah.
00:09:33.160 You haven't.
00:09:33.680 No.
00:09:34.000 No, you haven't.
00:09:34.640 The answer is no.
00:09:35.380 I think I'm done.
00:09:37.560 I don't know.
00:09:38.560 I don't know.
00:09:39.140 I don't live a life like that.
00:09:40.240 I don't feel very confident in that answer.
00:09:40.860 I don't like to live life with periods at the end of them.
00:09:44.080 I want to keep everything open.
00:09:45.200 Well, why not?
00:09:46.220 I mean, when you have a sentence and it's over, especially if it's a really terrible sentence,
00:09:49.300 a lot of times you want to put a period on it.
00:09:51.000 So this is something that you've testified that you feel God is calling you not to do.
00:09:56.300 You don't feel comfortable doing it.
00:09:58.340 You don't feel good about it.
00:09:59.540 And yet you're not willing to say that you won't do it again.
00:10:01.880 Well, God was calling, but she was like, let's send it to voicemail.
00:10:05.800 It's not.
00:10:07.040 Like, let's say, let's say like I'm down bad and I want like a new car.
00:10:11.920 Like, let me just work like...
00:10:13.280 You know, you could say a lot of things about Matt Walsh, but you couldn't possibly say that
00:10:18.560 he's a guy that you'd use a phrase like down bad with.
00:10:23.140 There's just no courtroom in the world where using a phrase like down bad is going to work
00:10:30.060 to your advantage.
00:10:31.220 It's just not.
00:10:32.020 Even in like Bronx County, that's not going to work.
00:10:34.620 You know, I've been practicing law for 25 years and I've watched a lot of judges, their
00:10:39.700 careers begin and watch their rise.
00:10:42.140 And some of them have watched their downfall.
00:10:44.100 I have to say Judge Walsh is off to an amazing start.
00:10:47.860 As a practicing attorney for, you know, a couple of decades, I would like my cases judged
00:10:53.580 by Matt Walsh much more than the elected judiciary that they're currently in front of.
00:10:58.900 I'll get the hell out of my courtroom.
00:10:59.680 Go to the ground.
00:11:01.340 Believe me in the world.
00:11:02.160 Have to go with Francisco Chavez
00:11:04.740 Bye.
00:11:05.240 Bye.
00:11:06.180 Bye.
00:11:06.540 Bye.
00:11:07.140 Bye.
00:11:07.960 Bye.
00:11:08.460 Bye.
00:11:08.680 Bye.
00:11:08.900 Bye.
00:11:09.660 Bye.
00:11:10.220 Bye.
00:11:11.800 Bye.
00:11:13.120 Bye.
00:11:14.220 Bye.
00:11:15.620 Bye.
00:11:16.060 Bye.
00:11:18.260 Bye.
00:11:18.960 Bye.
00:11:19.580 Bye.
00:11:20.600 Bye.
00:11:21.580 Bye.
00:11:21.720 Bye.
00:11:23.960 Bye.
00:11:25.640 Bye.
00:11:25.700 Bye.
00:11:26.640 Bye.
00:11:27.780 Bye.
00:11:28.560 Bye.