The Matt Walsh Show - Relationship Advice For The Reddit Crowd

00:00:00.000 Today we're going to look at some questions from the relationships forum on Reddit.

00:00:05.320 Lots of confused and helpless people go on to this forum looking for advice on their

00:00:09.960 relationships. I may not be an expert on marriage or on relationships, but I am at least an expert

00:00:15.760 compared to the sort of hapless saps who go looking for advice on Reddit. That's generally 0.99

00:00:21.100 one of the good things about living in a collapsing civilization is that everyone is so stupid and 1.00

00:00:26.080 crazy that I look pretty good by comparison. So it's good for my self-esteem anyway. So let's go 1.00

00:00:29.820 through a few of these. I think these are some recent questions that were posed. All the advice

00:00:33.940 given by the Redditors is not good. Let me give you the truth of it. So here we go. This is

00:00:39.140 headline. I cheated on my partner and I don't know what to do. It's a 24-year-old female cheating with 1.00

00:00:47.940 a 25-year-old male. She says, last night I got incredibly drunk with a friend, 26-year-old male,

00:00:53.960 who I trusted and have been friends with for years. We are both in long-term relationships and have

00:00:58.360 never expressed romantic attraction towards each other. Because for one, I never liked him like

00:01:02.380 that. Well, apparently you did, miss. Apparently you did. And for two, we're both in loving

00:01:07.200 relationships. Apparently not, miss. Apparently not. While we were super drunk, he asked me to dance.

00:01:13.400 And of course I said yes, because I'm the type of person that loves to dance. It was not romantic

00:01:17.200 dancing. It was more fun because we were listening to upbeat music. Then he kissed me and I didn't know

00:01:21.900 what to do. I was both shocked and super drunk and I don't really remember much of what happened,

00:01:25.560 but I know we didn't have sex or do anything sexual besides kiss. He might have groped me,

00:01:29.700 but I don't know. I'm very stressed out with a nasty hangover. I already am going to be not

00:01:34.220 friends with the guy because I can't believe he'd do that, especially when I was much more drunk than

00:01:38.620 him. Now what do I do about my boyfriend? We're moving in together this month. We already signed

00:01:42.700 a one-year lease and I love him to bits. This man wants to marry me and spend the rest of his life

00:01:46.920 with me. Where do I even begin to tell him that I did such a horrible thing? I can't stomach

00:01:51.080 thinking about it. I can't imagine telling him any advice is appreciated. Okay, first of all,

00:01:56.540 you've already got the excuses teed up, don't you? How could he do this? How could he be the one who

00:02:01.780 does this? I was much more drunk than he was. Yeah, well, whose fault was it that you decided

00:02:05.820 to get drunk? What, did he hold you down? Like use a funnel and force Miller Lite down your throat?

00:02:11.620 What, did he waterboard you? No, this is a choice you made. And what were you doing hanging out

00:02:17.380 one-on-one at night with a member of the opposite sex and then getting drunk? And you're supposedly in 0.99

00:02:25.020 a relationship you care about. So how was this plan supposed to work? What did you think was

00:02:29.420 going to happen? Literally no good could come of that. No good, only bad. So you're doing something

00:02:35.780 in a relationship where you know that what you're doing right now, it can't help your relationship.

00:02:40.440 It can only hurt. It's just a matter of how much is it going to hurt. And you decided to do it

00:02:45.260 anyway. And this is why people don't want to hear it. But the truth is, if you're in

00:02:48.620 a relationship, especially if you're getting married or you are married, you shouldn't be

00:02:53.200 having one-on-one hangout sessions with friends of the opposite sex. People don't want to hear 1.00

00:02:57.940 it, but it's true. Take it from a guy who's been married for 10 years, okay? If you do decide

00:03:01.180 to do this anyway, though, you especially shouldn't be drinking and dancing as well. You're just

00:03:06.740 asking for trouble. And just another point here, ladies, if a man is drinking with you, 0.89

00:03:14.620 or even if he's not, and he asks you to dance, and he's not like related to you, but it's just a

00:03:20.960 quote friend, it is 100% asexual slash romantic thing. Every single time, 100% of the time.

00:03:27.480 So here's what I would say. You're not responsible or mature enough to be in a relationship right now.

00:03:33.760 This is totally your fault. And it's also the guy's fault. You both share 100% of the blame.

00:03:38.160 So tell your boyfriend what you did. If he leaves you, you deserve it. And just try not to get raging

00:03:44.840 sloppy drunk with some other dude the next time you're in a relationship. So that's, can you manage

00:03:49.280 that? It's kind of a low bar, but if you can get over that bar, I think you'll be fine. Headline here

00:03:54.860 is my boyfriend sucks at gift giving. How do I approach him about it? As the title said, my boyfriend 0.98

00:04:00.680 sucks at gift giving. Honestly, I don't care much about gifts, but sometimes I feel like if he could just 0.83

00:04:05.580 tell me he doesn't know what to gift me for Christmas or birthday, for example, I wouldn't

00:04:10.540 be as bothered. Writing here is not, is not stellar. Examples of his gifts. Him and I was long

00:04:17.440 distance for a while. Him and I was long distance. Him and I was long distance. They're not sending

00:04:26.300 their best to Reddit. They really are. Him and I was long distance for a while because we were

00:04:30.620 pursuing our education at different States. Well, you should have pursued it harder than you did,

00:04:36.800 ma'am. We were pursuing our education at different States and he'd tell me so much about this friendly

00:04:42.020 stray dog outside of his dorm. I love dogs. And every time I go and visit him, he'd always take

00:04:47.000 me to pet the dog. So for my birthday, a few years ago, he decided to commission someone a portrait of

00:04:51.920 this stray dog. Yes, a dog I saw and pet maybe four times whom I have no ownership. Uh, but I'm guessing

00:04:58.240 since I was so eager hearing about how cute it is means I want a portrait of it. This, this is a

00:05:03.480 college student. This is a college educated person. This is what this, this, this individual is spending

00:05:10.200 $90,000 on an education and she cannot even write a sentence. He hyped it up as something I would really

00:05:17.260 love. But when I saw his gift, I really tried my hardest to not look disappointed. The amount he tipped

00:05:22.800 the artist is the same price of commission. So like, I'd rather him spending that much money on

00:05:27.640 me. It felt like my birthday money was split with the artist. And that's just one example. I'd say

00:05:32.380 about 80% of his gifts for me are in the realm of baby. I appreciate the thought, but why did you

00:05:37.220 think I need this? He's a very loving boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, but it sucks when I put a lot of

00:05:41.700 efforts into gift to giving and have something I don't even use or need in return. I'm not exaggerating.

00:05:47.460 I knew he liked seals. So for one of his birthdays, I got him to see and pet a seal in person for

00:05:53.060 another occasion. I purchased a big package from the world wildlife federation for him to adopt a

00:05:57.940 seal and handmade him a seal plush. And my favorite gift from him is still the scrapbook. He made me

00:06:04.780 though very clumsily made and not organized. I'd still value it over any pricey arts. He's commissioned

00:06:10.460 that I have no use. So it's not like I need something super expensive. So Reddit, what do I do?

00:06:16.100 A side higher, an English tutor. How do I tell him that I don't really like the majority of his

00:06:21.380 gifts? I'm asking this because my birthday is in April and he already hyped me up about what I will

00:06:25.980 get. And I am just scared of another disappointing gift. Okay. My gosh, a few problems here. First of

00:06:32.420 all, don't say you don't care about gifts. Don't insult my intelligence. Don't insult the intelligence

00:06:35.780 of your boyfriend. Don't say you don't care about it. You obviously care about gifts. You just,

00:06:38.640 you just rambled about it for 46 pages. You, you, you care about gifts. All women do. 1.00

00:06:43.580 I mean, all people do. Most people do. I mean, I don't really care. I actually don't care about

00:06:49.440 gifts, but I'm like a sociopath. So that's most people who have regular human emotions do care

00:06:54.200 about them. So that's the first thing. Also, I mean, I'm not going to say that I would want a

00:06:59.060 painting of a stray dog as a gift, but it was thoughtful and it was expensive. So you should

00:07:04.360 be grateful for that. And your gift was what? You took him to pet a seal. How humiliating,

00:07:10.000 how embarrassing must that have been for him? Who wants to pet a seal? I guarantee you he didn't

00:07:15.880 want to do that. And you dragged them along to some like seal petting zoo. And there's a bunch

00:07:21.520 of four-year-olds and your poor boyfriend petting the seal. Like, yeah, this is great, babe. Thanks

00:07:26.860 so much for this. And also another thing, a stuffed animal seal. Once again, I guarantee you now, I mean,

00:07:35.900 I know masculinity is not what it used to be in this culture, but come on. I, that, that is not

00:07:40.380 his favorite gift. I can tell you that right now. So get your own house in order. Don't throw stones

00:07:44.720 when you live in a seal petting zoo. Here's another one. This is from a guy this time. I've been dating

00:07:52.600 my girlfriend. It's a 23 year old male. I've been dating my girlfriend, 24 year old female for about

00:07:57.320 six months now. She's fairly active on Instagram with a couple of accounts. Her main account is about

00:08:02.200 2000 followers. I'm not too into Instagram. Don't post often and have like 300 people on it.

00:08:07.740 Only following mean pages and friends. I've started to notice that whenever she's feeling

00:08:11.940 or something bad happens, she posts scandalous pictures on Instagram. For example, she recently

00:08:16.980 found out that she had to spend $2,200 on a dental issue that wasn't fully covered by insurance

00:08:21.120 right after she posted a saucy picture. I mean, who doesn't, who doesn't react to dental bills that way? 1.00

00:08:28.840 I cannot say how many times I've been at the dentist. They give me the bill and I'm

00:08:32.180 so frustrated. I just strip all my clothes off. It, you know, we all have been there before.

00:08:36.220 It's a normal human reaction. Another time we were in a sort of week long disagreement about

00:08:40.800 something. And at the worst point, she posted a sexy pic of herself in lingerie. I know she's

00:08:47.280 really into her Instagram and who doesn't like posting hot photos every now and then. What

00:08:52.140 concerns me is that she uses it as a coping mechanism to deal with things happening in her

00:08:56.100 life. It doesn't bother me too much right now, but it makes me worry about our potential

00:08:59.460 future. If she's so quick to look for social media validation, it feels like an unhealthy

00:09:03.380 coping mechanism, but maybe I'm overthinking it. How can I help her deal with things without

00:09:07.980 relying on Instagram? Or is this not something to even worry about? Okay. So the options you're

00:09:12.560 giving me right now is how do I help her deal with it? Or should I not worry about it? Let

00:09:16.220 me give you option C. Okay. Go through door number three, leave her, dump her, kick her ass 1.00

00:09:21.960 to the curb. That's the option you should be taking. She takes her clothes off as a coping 1.00

00:09:27.560 mechanism. Do you hear yourself right now? This is your girlfriend. Now let me ask you

00:09:33.120 something. How else do you think this girl is coping? What other forms of coping is she 0.68

00:09:41.660 doing? Because I can tell you right now, she is now, or she soon will be coping with the

00:09:48.860 assistance of some guy she met at the gym. Okay. She's going to meet some guy at the gym

00:09:53.820 and they're going to be doing a lot of coping together. A whole lot of coping between the

00:09:56.500 two, lots of feeling happening, feeling of all types, coping and copping feels. So have

00:10:03.920 some self-respect. A woman who undresses for other men or for the public or for anyone is not 0.99

00:10:11.680 worth your time. Self-respect. Okay. Finally, the title here is my girlfriend is a poo-poo 0.99

00:10:19.320 head. Please help. She meows like a cat randomly and cries like a baby. When threatened, she burrows 1.00

00:10:27.480 into things and makes dramatic fainting noises. What do I do? She burrows into things when threatened.

00:10:35.160 Is she a gerbil? Don't date gerbils. That would really be my advice. It's illegal in most states 0.98

00:10:43.920 and unadvisable in all states, really. So I'd say time to let this one go as well. You've made it to

00:10:51.020 mammals. I'm trying to look at the silver lining. So that's good progress. You're on mammals, but

00:10:56.180 really you want to stick with the human species is what I would, I would recommend that. I'm old

00:11:02.860 fashioned, I admit, but I'll be my advice there. Okay. So I think I just recommended to everyone

00:11:08.880 that they break up. That's been my advice. And I admit, look, if you aren't married and you aren't

00:11:14.200 even engaged, I think ultimately breaking up is usually the best answer to most of your serious

00:11:18.980 problems because it's probably heading that way anyway. And you're just dating. So it doesn't

00:11:23.820 actually matter that much. And you could, you could break up like with a text message. That's how

00:11:28.280 unserious it is. I don't recommend that, but you could. So that's something to keep in

00:11:32.820 mind. I mean, don't do that, but you can. So just break up.

The Matt Walsh Show - February 20, 2021

Relationship Advice For The Reddit Crowd

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