Relationship Advice For The Reddit Crowd
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
204.29305
Summary
A 24-year-old woman cheats on her partner with a 25-year old man, and she doesn't know what to do about it. What should she do next? And what should she tell her boyfriend about it?
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Today we're going to look at some questions from the relationships forum on Reddit.
00:00:05.320
Lots of confused and helpless people go on to this forum looking for advice on their
00:00:09.960
relationships. I may not be an expert on marriage or on relationships, but I am at least an expert
00:00:15.760
compared to the sort of hapless saps who go looking for advice on Reddit. That's generally
00:00:21.100
one of the good things about living in a collapsing civilization is that everyone is so stupid and
00:00:26.080
crazy that I look pretty good by comparison. So it's good for my self-esteem anyway. So let's go
00:00:29.820
through a few of these. I think these are some recent questions that were posed. All the advice
00:00:33.940
given by the Redditors is not good. Let me give you the truth of it. So here we go. This is
00:00:39.140
headline. I cheated on my partner and I don't know what to do. It's a 24-year-old female cheating with
00:00:47.940
a 25-year-old male. She says, last night I got incredibly drunk with a friend, 26-year-old male,
00:00:53.960
who I trusted and have been friends with for years. We are both in long-term relationships and have
00:00:58.360
never expressed romantic attraction towards each other. Because for one, I never liked him like
00:01:02.380
that. Well, apparently you did, miss. Apparently you did. And for two, we're both in loving
00:01:07.200
relationships. Apparently not, miss. Apparently not. While we were super drunk, he asked me to dance.
00:01:13.400
And of course I said yes, because I'm the type of person that loves to dance. It was not romantic
00:01:17.200
dancing. It was more fun because we were listening to upbeat music. Then he kissed me and I didn't know
00:01:21.900
what to do. I was both shocked and super drunk and I don't really remember much of what happened,
00:01:25.560
but I know we didn't have sex or do anything sexual besides kiss. He might have groped me,
00:01:29.700
but I don't know. I'm very stressed out with a nasty hangover. I already am going to be not
00:01:34.220
friends with the guy because I can't believe he'd do that, especially when I was much more drunk than
00:01:38.620
him. Now what do I do about my boyfriend? We're moving in together this month. We already signed
00:01:42.700
a one-year lease and I love him to bits. This man wants to marry me and spend the rest of his life
00:01:46.920
with me. Where do I even begin to tell him that I did such a horrible thing? I can't stomach
00:01:51.080
thinking about it. I can't imagine telling him any advice is appreciated. Okay, first of all,
00:01:56.540
you've already got the excuses teed up, don't you? How could he do this? How could he be the one who
00:02:01.780
does this? I was much more drunk than he was. Yeah, well, whose fault was it that you decided
00:02:05.820
to get drunk? What, did he hold you down? Like use a funnel and force Miller Lite down your throat?
00:02:11.620
What, did he waterboard you? No, this is a choice you made. And what were you doing hanging out
00:02:17.380
one-on-one at night with a member of the opposite sex and then getting drunk? And you're supposedly in
00:02:25.020
a relationship you care about. So how was this plan supposed to work? What did you think was
00:02:29.420
going to happen? Literally no good could come of that. No good, only bad. So you're doing something
00:02:35.780
in a relationship where you know that what you're doing right now, it can't help your relationship.
00:02:40.440
It can only hurt. It's just a matter of how much is it going to hurt. And you decided to do it
00:02:45.260
anyway. And this is why people don't want to hear it. But the truth is, if you're in
00:02:48.620
a relationship, especially if you're getting married or you are married, you shouldn't be
00:02:53.200
having one-on-one hangout sessions with friends of the opposite sex. People don't want to hear
00:02:57.940
it, but it's true. Take it from a guy who's been married for 10 years, okay? If you do decide
00:03:01.180
to do this anyway, though, you especially shouldn't be drinking and dancing as well. You're just
00:03:06.740
asking for trouble. And just another point here, ladies, if a man is drinking with you,
00:03:14.620
or even if he's not, and he asks you to dance, and he's not like related to you, but it's just a
00:03:20.960
quote friend, it is 100% asexual slash romantic thing. Every single time, 100% of the time.
00:03:27.480
So here's what I would say. You're not responsible or mature enough to be in a relationship right now.
00:03:33.760
This is totally your fault. And it's also the guy's fault. You both share 100% of the blame.
00:03:38.160
So tell your boyfriend what you did. If he leaves you, you deserve it. And just try not to get raging
00:03:44.840
sloppy drunk with some other dude the next time you're in a relationship. So that's, can you manage
00:03:49.280
that? It's kind of a low bar, but if you can get over that bar, I think you'll be fine. Headline here
00:03:54.860
is my boyfriend sucks at gift giving. How do I approach him about it? As the title said, my boyfriend
00:04:00.680
sucks at gift giving. Honestly, I don't care much about gifts, but sometimes I feel like if he could just
00:04:05.580
tell me he doesn't know what to gift me for Christmas or birthday, for example, I wouldn't
00:04:10.540
be as bothered. Writing here is not, is not stellar. Examples of his gifts. Him and I was long
00:04:17.440
distance for a while. Him and I was long distance. Him and I was long distance. They're not sending
00:04:26.300
their best to Reddit. They really are. Him and I was long distance for a while because we were
00:04:30.620
pursuing our education at different States. Well, you should have pursued it harder than you did,
00:04:36.800
ma'am. We were pursuing our education at different States and he'd tell me so much about this friendly
00:04:42.020
stray dog outside of his dorm. I love dogs. And every time I go and visit him, he'd always take
00:04:47.000
me to pet the dog. So for my birthday, a few years ago, he decided to commission someone a portrait of
00:04:51.920
this stray dog. Yes, a dog I saw and pet maybe four times whom I have no ownership. Uh, but I'm guessing
00:04:58.240
since I was so eager hearing about how cute it is means I want a portrait of it. This, this is a
00:05:03.480
college student. This is a college educated person. This is what this, this, this individual is spending
00:05:10.200
$90,000 on an education and she cannot even write a sentence. He hyped it up as something I would really
00:05:17.260
love. But when I saw his gift, I really tried my hardest to not look disappointed. The amount he tipped
00:05:22.800
the artist is the same price of commission. So like, I'd rather him spending that much money on
00:05:27.640
me. It felt like my birthday money was split with the artist. And that's just one example. I'd say
00:05:32.380
about 80% of his gifts for me are in the realm of baby. I appreciate the thought, but why did you
00:05:37.220
think I need this? He's a very loving boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, but it sucks when I put a lot of
00:05:41.700
efforts into gift to giving and have something I don't even use or need in return. I'm not exaggerating.
00:05:47.460
I knew he liked seals. So for one of his birthdays, I got him to see and pet a seal in person for
00:05:53.060
another occasion. I purchased a big package from the world wildlife federation for him to adopt a
00:05:57.940
seal and handmade him a seal plush. And my favorite gift from him is still the scrapbook. He made me
00:06:04.780
though very clumsily made and not organized. I'd still value it over any pricey arts. He's commissioned
00:06:10.460
that I have no use. So it's not like I need something super expensive. So Reddit, what do I do?
00:06:16.100
A side higher, an English tutor. How do I tell him that I don't really like the majority of his
00:06:21.380
gifts? I'm asking this because my birthday is in April and he already hyped me up about what I will
00:06:25.980
get. And I am just scared of another disappointing gift. Okay. My gosh, a few problems here. First of
00:06:32.420
all, don't say you don't care about gifts. Don't insult my intelligence. Don't insult the intelligence
00:06:35.780
of your boyfriend. Don't say you don't care about it. You obviously care about gifts. You just,
00:06:38.640
you just rambled about it for 46 pages. You, you, you care about gifts. All women do.
00:06:43.580
I mean, all people do. Most people do. I mean, I don't really care. I actually don't care about
00:06:49.440
gifts, but I'm like a sociopath. So that's most people who have regular human emotions do care
00:06:54.200
about them. So that's the first thing. Also, I mean, I'm not going to say that I would want a
00:06:59.060
painting of a stray dog as a gift, but it was thoughtful and it was expensive. So you should
00:07:04.360
be grateful for that. And your gift was what? You took him to pet a seal. How humiliating,
00:07:10.000
how embarrassing must that have been for him? Who wants to pet a seal? I guarantee you he didn't
00:07:15.880
want to do that. And you dragged them along to some like seal petting zoo. And there's a bunch
00:07:21.520
of four-year-olds and your poor boyfriend petting the seal. Like, yeah, this is great, babe. Thanks
00:07:26.860
so much for this. And also another thing, a stuffed animal seal. Once again, I guarantee you now, I mean,
00:07:35.900
I know masculinity is not what it used to be in this culture, but come on. I, that, that is not
00:07:40.380
his favorite gift. I can tell you that right now. So get your own house in order. Don't throw stones
00:07:44.720
when you live in a seal petting zoo. Here's another one. This is from a guy this time. I've been dating
00:07:52.600
my girlfriend. It's a 23 year old male. I've been dating my girlfriend, 24 year old female for about
00:07:57.320
six months now. She's fairly active on Instagram with a couple of accounts. Her main account is about
00:08:02.200
2000 followers. I'm not too into Instagram. Don't post often and have like 300 people on it.
00:08:07.740
Only following mean pages and friends. I've started to notice that whenever she's feeling
00:08:11.940
or something bad happens, she posts scandalous pictures on Instagram. For example, she recently
00:08:16.980
found out that she had to spend $2,200 on a dental issue that wasn't fully covered by insurance
00:08:21.120
right after she posted a saucy picture. I mean, who doesn't, who doesn't react to dental bills that way?
00:08:28.840
I cannot say how many times I've been at the dentist. They give me the bill and I'm
00:08:32.180
so frustrated. I just strip all my clothes off. It, you know, we all have been there before.
00:08:36.220
It's a normal human reaction. Another time we were in a sort of week long disagreement about
00:08:40.800
something. And at the worst point, she posted a sexy pic of herself in lingerie. I know she's
00:08:47.280
really into her Instagram and who doesn't like posting hot photos every now and then. What
00:08:52.140
concerns me is that she uses it as a coping mechanism to deal with things happening in her
00:08:56.100
life. It doesn't bother me too much right now, but it makes me worry about our potential
00:08:59.460
future. If she's so quick to look for social media validation, it feels like an unhealthy
00:09:03.380
coping mechanism, but maybe I'm overthinking it. How can I help her deal with things without
00:09:07.980
relying on Instagram? Or is this not something to even worry about? Okay. So the options you're
00:09:12.560
giving me right now is how do I help her deal with it? Or should I not worry about it? Let
00:09:16.220
me give you option C. Okay. Go through door number three, leave her, dump her, kick her ass
00:09:21.960
to the curb. That's the option you should be taking. She takes her clothes off as a coping
00:09:27.560
mechanism. Do you hear yourself right now? This is your girlfriend. Now let me ask you
00:09:33.120
something. How else do you think this girl is coping? What other forms of coping is she
00:09:41.660
doing? Because I can tell you right now, she is now, or she soon will be coping with the
00:09:48.860
assistance of some guy she met at the gym. Okay. She's going to meet some guy at the gym
00:09:53.820
and they're going to be doing a lot of coping together. A whole lot of coping between the
00:09:56.500
two, lots of feeling happening, feeling of all types, coping and copping feels. So have
00:10:03.920
some self-respect. A woman who undresses for other men or for the public or for anyone is not
00:10:11.680
worth your time. Self-respect. Okay. Finally, the title here is my girlfriend is a poo-poo
00:10:19.320
head. Please help. She meows like a cat randomly and cries like a baby. When threatened, she burrows
00:10:27.480
into things and makes dramatic fainting noises. What do I do? She burrows into things when threatened.
00:10:35.160
Is she a gerbil? Don't date gerbils. That would really be my advice. It's illegal in most states
00:10:43.920
and unadvisable in all states, really. So I'd say time to let this one go as well. You've made it to
00:10:51.020
mammals. I'm trying to look at the silver lining. So that's good progress. You're on mammals, but
00:10:56.180
really you want to stick with the human species is what I would, I would recommend that. I'm old
00:11:02.860
fashioned, I admit, but I'll be my advice there. Okay. So I think I just recommended to everyone
00:11:08.880
that they break up. That's been my advice. And I admit, look, if you aren't married and you aren't
00:11:14.200
even engaged, I think ultimately breaking up is usually the best answer to most of your serious
00:11:18.980
problems because it's probably heading that way anyway. And you're just dating. So it doesn't
00:11:23.820
actually matter that much. And you could, you could break up like with a text message. That's how
00:11:28.280
unserious it is. I don't recommend that, but you could. So that's something to keep in
00:11:32.820
mind. I mean, don't do that, but you can. So just break up.