Should I Move To Another Country For A Girl？ Matt Walsh Gives Advice
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
223.87827
Summary
In this episode, we discuss what to watch on TV with your significant other, what to do when they disagree on movies and TV shows, and how to get them to agree on where to go out to eat.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
We are going to take a look at some people that are in need of advice and as always we've got
00:00:04.200
some listeners who wrote in with their questions and then we've got one person who rather than
00:00:09.000
asking me for advice made the mistake of going to Reddit instead and so we'll help that person
00:00:13.720
out as well. This is from Anonymous says, hello Mr. Walsh, I was hoping you could help me with
00:00:18.440
a problem I'm having. I've been with my girlfriend for four years now, I plan on proposing to her
00:00:22.060
this year. I know, I know, I should have already done it by now, I'm a bad sweet baby. Anyway,
00:00:26.400
we've recently begun to argue quite frequently about what to watch on TV when we watch together.
00:00:31.940
She likes to watch reruns of Friends and Seinfeld or early 2000s rom-coms. Not that there's anything
00:00:36.640
wrong with that. No, of course not. I like to watch good stuff like Vikings and King of the Hill.
00:00:41.580
I'm so depressed I can't even blink. With some generally awesome movies thrown in from time to
00:00:46.500
time. She usually uses her magic woman powers of guilt to sway me into watching whatever absolute
00:00:51.880
garbage she wants to watch. She thinks I'm having bowel issues because I'm always going to the
00:00:56.220
bathroom. But I'm really just sitting on the toilet waiting for her episode of Grey's Anatomy
00:00:59.840
to end. Will I ever win this war? Is there a way to balance this issue? My flawless taste in
00:01:04.800
entertainment is being polluted by stuff like 90 Day Fiance and Big Brother. Side note, she's also
00:01:09.940
Jewish and refuses to watch Mel Gibson movies with me. I get it, but come on. I don't get it. First of
00:01:15.000
all, I don't get it at all. Because she's Jewish, you can't watch Mel Gibson? This film is anti-Semitic
00:01:18.720
and it must be stopped. If you're only going to watch films or shows that star or were made by
00:01:24.860
people who've never said anything offensive or unsavory or done anything offensive or unsavory,
00:01:29.940
you basically eliminated anything you could possibly ever watch, especially coming from
00:01:33.800
modern Hollywood. So I would even give her that argument. In general, putting Mel Gibson aside,
00:01:39.900
who, by the way, is one of the best filmmakers currently even still working in Hollywood.
00:01:42.920
If there were any justice in the world, which we know there's not, you would be given an Oscar.
00:01:47.340
With women, treat movies and shows the same way you do restaurants.
00:01:55.140
Let's not think about what I want. How about anywhere you want?
00:01:58.520
It's a cliche, it's a stereotype, but it's also almost always true that women have a difficult time
00:02:03.900
deciding where they want to eat. And so, you know, I'm sure you've had this conversation before,
00:02:08.060
where you're in the car, right, where you're deciding what you want to get on Uber Eats or something,
00:02:10.960
and you ask her, oh, what do you want? And so, I don't know, you pick. And then you say,
00:02:15.080
okay, well, then here, we'll go to Outback Steakhouse. Oh, I don't want that. Okay,
00:02:19.460
well, instead, okay, we'll go here and say, oh, I don't want that. So she won't give you a clear
00:02:22.980
idea of what she wants, but at the same time, if you throw an idea, she doesn't like that.
00:02:27.460
And then you just have this back and forth. That's why when it comes to when you're going out to eat,
00:02:32.100
and this is what I, and I've, I learned this lesson a long time ago. And so if I'm going out with my wife,
00:02:36.560
we don't even have a conversation anymore about where we're going.
00:02:38.980
I'll make the reservations and I'll say, okay, you know, can you get the babysitter for Friday
00:02:44.180
night at six o'clock? And then she'll do that. You know, she takes care of that. And then I go,
00:02:49.360
I make a reservation somewhere and she doesn't even know where we're going until we get there a lot
00:02:52.960
of the times. And it works out. I pick a place that I know she'll like. It's not like I'm only
00:02:57.220
trying to pick stuff that I'll like. I'll pick a place that I know that she'll like. We don't have
00:03:00.340
to have an argument about where we're going. I take care of that. I take the lead on that.
00:03:04.140
She appreciates that more. And really from her perspective, it's like I've taken care of,
00:03:08.200
so you don't have to worry about where we're going to eat.
00:03:12.560
Most people generally understand that with restaurants, you know, and I think probably
00:03:16.160
most women wouldn't disagree with what I just said. It's a little bit more controversial
00:03:19.780
with movies and TV shows, but I think I try to adopt, I think you have to adopt a similar
00:03:23.900
attitude where it's like, you can come up with shows that you know she'll like,
00:03:28.840
or at least she should like them. And so you just got to take the lead on that and say,
00:03:34.060
listen, here's a good show. We're just going to put it on. If I describe it to you,
00:03:38.940
you might think you won't like it, but I think you will. So let's just watch it. And you just
00:03:43.760
take charge of you. Take that remote. You put it on and that's it. Okay. Now it's a little bit
00:03:49.080
awkward that I'm giving this advice today after I just admitted on the show that that's what I did
00:03:53.180
on Valentine's Day. And I put on a 1990s Kurt Russell action flick on Valentine's when she
00:03:58.160
wanted a romantic comedy. I'll admit that that, like I thought she would like it. Ultimately,
00:04:02.760
it wasn't a big hit. You're not going to, you're not going to bat a thousand on this thing. You're
00:04:06.700
going to make mistakes. It happens. But in general, take charge, take the remote, put on what you know
00:04:14.320
you both will like. All the advice I've just given you, take it at your own peril. That's all.
00:04:20.740
That's the case for all this. I don't, I don't take any responsibility. If I give advice and you,
00:04:25.160
and you run with it, I take no responsibility for what happens after that. You know, people are
00:04:29.220
raving about GenuCell skincare. Jessica from Huntsville, Alabama says, my skin looks so soft
00:04:34.260
and clear. I've seen a reduced number of fine lines and dark spots. I have found a new lifetime product.
00:04:40.640
Absolutely love it. GenuCell skincare uses a one of a kind proprietary flower base developed by the
00:04:45.720
founder and pharmacist, along with rare botanical extracts and powerful antioxidants
00:04:49.860
for skincare results that work guaranteed. GenuCell skincare is uniquely formulated,
00:04:55.700
which I have right here. All of my, this is my own GenuCell skincare collection that I collect.
00:05:03.960
I collect them, you know, because I'm a big user of this product. Fine lines, wrinkles, dark spots,
00:05:10.080
sagging jaw lines, all of that can be handled by GenuCell skincare. The products work for both men
00:05:14.860
and women. Plus they're safe for all skin types. You'll see results in 12 hours guaranteed or your
00:05:20.100
money back. As I'm always telling you, my talent manager, Tessa, uses GenuCell under eye treatment
00:05:24.920
to help get rid of the unsightly bags under her eyes. Try GenuCell's most popular package for 70%
00:05:30.740
off at GenuCell.com slash WalshYT. Join millions of happy customers who've already fallen in love with
00:05:36.380
the results. Plus for a limited time, get GenuCell's probiotic extract moisturizer free
00:05:40.340
with every most popular package. Go to GenuCell.com slash WalshYT. GenuCell.com slash WalshYT.
00:05:47.980
From Samantha says, Aloha, sweet daddy. My future mother-in-law recently shared that my fiance's
00:05:53.840
sisters and their husbands had all gone out to a strip club together, buying each other dances
00:05:58.420
and delighting in how the big girls could make it to the top of the pole. From her perspective,
00:06:02.640
this was a wonderful, normal bonding experience. I was too aghast to respond. And after she left,
00:06:08.220
I asked my boyfriend what he thought about it. He simply said he would never want to go to a strip
00:06:11.840
club with his family because it would be awkward. While this was an encouraging response, I haven't
00:06:15.440
been able to let it go. I don't mean to add to your problems. I don't know how encouraging that
00:06:20.820
response is actually. I would never want to go to a strip club with my family because it would be
00:06:25.680
awkward. Now, correct. I can't imagine anything more awkward than that. And you shouldn't want to
00:06:31.960
go to a strip club with your family. More encouraging response is, I don't want to go to a strip club at
00:06:36.820
all. Maybe that's the conversation you want to have with him. Although I've always known his
00:06:39.860
family was more lewd and promiscuous than mine, the new level of debasement, debauchery, and
00:06:43.360
dysfunction the strip club snafu reveals makes me extremely uncomfortable. I'm now even more
00:06:47.420
concerned about future outings with these people, and I certainly wouldn't want to rear our future
00:06:51.080
children around this sort of immorality and insanity. My boyfriend is extremely kind and isn't the type of
00:06:55.320
person to criticize his family. Is there a way to broach this type of topic without directly
00:06:59.040
criticizing his sisters, their marriages, and their morality? Am I making a mountain out of
00:07:02.740
molehill? You're not making a mountain out of molehill at all. I mean, this is disgusting.
00:07:06.900
First of all, in general, going to a strip club in general, it's like dirty, grimy, disgusting
00:07:11.820
places where you've got these drug-addled women who are up on the pole and everything. You shouldn't
00:07:18.480
even really have any desire to go to a place. I think it's sitting around with other creepy
00:07:23.160
weirdos watching this. It's disgusting in general to go with your family or go with your spouse. I mean,
00:07:30.880
just levels of disgust. It's like you take something that's already gross and just add
00:07:34.320
levels of grossness on top of it. And so you're not at all wrong for seeing it that way. And it
00:07:41.460
does reveal something about his family. It doesn't mean you hold it against your fiance. He wasn't the
00:07:47.920
one who was there. And it sounds like he objects as well, but it's good information for you to know.
00:07:52.380
Can you broach this topic with him without directly criticizing his sisters and their marriages?
00:07:55.940
No, you can't. Any attempt to broach it without being direct about it, I think, is not going to
00:08:02.800
get you the result that you want. I mean, you have to address this head on, especially with him.
00:08:07.260
It doesn't mean you're berating him about it or taking it out on him. Certainly,
00:08:10.200
you don't want to do that. It sounds like you're not doing that, but just be direct. Like,
00:08:13.600
this is wrong. It's gross. It reveals something about these people that I'm very uncomfortable with.
00:08:18.660
When we have kids, you know, this is something I'm going to take into account. Like,
00:08:22.780
I wouldn't leave my kids with these people, given that their value system is so wildly
00:08:27.620
separated from your own. And so I think that's something that you want to tell him and just
00:08:31.500
be upfront about. And based on what you've told me, it sounds like he wouldn't even necessarily
00:08:35.080
disagree. This is from Matthew says, I'm an 18-year-old from South Australia. About six to
00:08:40.720
seven months ago, I started talking to this girl, call her Eliza, from Minnesota, who I followed on
00:08:45.080
Instagram because she always posts epic-based things to her story, a lot of which concerned you.
00:08:50.020
We've been talking ever since, and it's been really fantastic. I've never met anyone who not
00:08:54.140
only has such similar views and values to me, but with whom I can relate so deeply and thoroughly.
00:08:58.940
I'm certain that she is the perfect match for me. To this end, I've decided that I'm willing to,
00:09:02.080
at some point, when appropriate, move to Minnesota and do all that I can to be with her.
00:09:06.700
Fortunately for me, she has a boyfriend right now, but I've spotted some misalignments in their
00:09:10.180
beliefs and hence problems for their future. She's also said herself that I would be better for her,
00:09:15.260
but she pictures it like those tragic books where the main character doesn't get to marry the right
00:09:19.080
guy. I'm 100% ready to wait for this girl, and I've actually already turned down several offers
00:09:23.200
from other girls in South Australia. I've been told by people, including my mother, most recently
00:09:27.560
last night, that I shouldn't put all my eggs in one basket. I responded that she's telling me to
00:09:30.960
settle, with which she disagreed. Is waiting the right move? Am I wasting my time? Is everyone who
00:09:35.360
is saying long distance doesn't work right? I know it doesn't, but I haven't had a break in
00:09:39.700
conversation with this girl in seven months. What do I do? Wait, get over there and try to win
00:09:43.680
her over. Give up. I'm in a difficult spot. Thank you, Papa. You're a bloody legend. Love
00:09:48.200
your work, mate. Papa's sweet daddy. Walsh is fine. I'm going to give you the bad news then,
00:09:54.480
unfortunately. Matthew, great name. And that is that the issue is not that it's long distance.
00:10:01.260
Let me say that to begin with. Long distance relationships can be fine. They can work. And
00:10:05.720
in the modern age, when you can be in contact with someone, and even Australia to Minnesota is quite a
00:10:11.600
long flight, but you can get on a plane and fly and be there. What doesn't work is that she has
00:10:16.520
a boyfriend and she's talking to you. And that she's been talking to you, what, for six, seven
00:10:20.020
months, and she's had a boyfriend the whole time. And she's even saying to you, and we can't even
00:10:24.040
let her off the hook here by saying, well, maybe she doesn't realize what this is. She doesn't
00:10:29.000
realize you have feelings for her. It sounds like you both have had frank conversations and she's
00:10:33.060
told you, oh, it's one of those books where you're the right guy, but I'm with this guy and I
00:10:37.240
can't. That is what tells me that you are unfortunately wasting your time with her. And
00:10:42.040
there are girls in your life who, you know, and you're rejecting them in favor of this other girl
00:10:49.880
who's with a boyfriend. Uh, you know, I think that's a very bad idea. And to move from Australia
00:10:55.820
to Minnesota for this person who has a boyfriend is also really bad. And let me tell you why, you
00:11:01.940
know, it's not that you're wasting your time waiting, like more than likely, in fact, not more than
00:11:05.580
likely. Guaranteed this girl will eventually break up with this guy that she's with. I know
00:11:11.900
that based on her behavior, it's not going to last. Okay. So that's going to, so yeah, I don't
00:11:15.720
mean to encourage you by saying that, but she will break up with him, but she has revealed something
00:11:19.440
about her character. It is so bad. So maybe her political values line up with you. Maybe your
00:11:24.600
ideological values line up with you. She's a fan of mine, which is great. Okay. That's a big plus
00:11:29.640
in her corner there. That's one for the win column. But, um, even so the fact that she's
00:11:38.780
with someone and yet she's talking to you, uh, which is, which is betraying the person that she's
00:11:43.240
with. It's dis it's dishonest to that, to that guy. And she's also stringing you along at the same
00:11:48.660
time. Oh, this is like a romance novel. No, it's not. It's real life. And what she's doing,
00:11:52.960
she's playing games with you and stringing you along. And she's lying to the guy that she's with.
00:11:56.600
And I can guarantee you, even if she leaves that guy eventually, and she decides that she wants to
00:12:01.020
be with you, how do you know she's not going to do the same damn thing to you? In fact, you can be
00:12:04.640
pretty sure that she will. And, and, and, um, you think that you're going to be so grateful and
00:12:10.460
relieved if you ever won the day, you know, you win the girl and you get to be happily ever after.
00:12:15.020
What's going to happen is you're going to always be thinking about those six, seven months when you
00:12:19.720
were talking to her and telling her all your feelings. And she was talking to you while she was dating
00:12:23.780
somebody else. And you're always going to be wondering, is she doing that now with some other
00:12:27.280
guy? Okay. So that's why this person is not worth it. You need to move on. I hate to give you the bad
00:12:35.020
news and actually I think we'll leave it there. We'll, uh, we don't even need to move on to Reddit.
00:12:39.140
I've already given some bad news and, and, uh, something we should all just take some time to let sink in.