The Matt Walsh Show - November 19, 2022


Sneak Peek Inside What Happens In The Walsh Home


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

204.20209

Word Count

2,122

Sentence Count

2

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary

In this episode, I talk about a few parenting scares I've had over the years, and how they've shaped who I am and shaped who my kids are, and what they do and don't do. I also talk about the time my daughter accidentally ate a whole bag of chocolate covered raisins, and my four-year-old son eating wild beans.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 all right you know i've been going through a tough time at home there was um i had a difficult
00:00:16.800 moment with my daughter few last week we were sitting down on the couch it's kind of a kind
00:00:24.620 of a parenting scare i guess we were sitting down on the couch and uh she turns me out of the blue
00:00:28.620 and she tells me my seven-year-old daughter she tells me that she wants to be a vegetarian
00:00:32.000 and now the and she didn't know the word actually at first she said that she's she said daddy what's
00:00:38.000 the when someone only eats vegetables and i said vegetarian and she said yeah i want to i'm that
00:00:44.480 that's what i want to be of course i'm thinking to myself no daughter of mine no daughter of mine
00:00:50.140 is going to be a vegetarian but i you know i realized that there were there were signs leading up to this
00:00:54.060 like for example uh earlier last summer we were out i was out fishing with her and she caught like
00:00:59.920 it was like a bluegill or something and she pulled the hook out and i guess caused some internal
00:01:04.180 bleeding it happens threw the fish back in catch and release and the fish bob back up to the surface
00:01:09.000 and was just laying there right and then she pointed to the fish and said daddy why is the fish laying
00:01:13.540 there i said oh he's probably uh probably sleeping you know it took a lot out of him when you caught
00:01:17.820 him and then it started bleeding and she said what but what's the red why is it bleeding and then i had to
00:01:23.340 admit well he's yeah you might have killed him it's okay though don't worry she she was devastated by
00:01:27.940 that absolutely devastated i think that was the beginning of her animal rights activism but anyway
00:01:32.100 fast forward she tells me she's a vegetarian and i'm pretty distraught over that because i can't
00:01:38.100 imagine having a vegetarian in the house but um the next day i'm talking to her again and she tells me
00:01:44.140 that uh she decided that she's a vegetarian but she can still eat chicken nuggets so she'll make an
00:01:50.080 exception for that and the day after that she said that well i'm a vegetarian but i can eat
00:01:54.780 chicken nuggets but also of course like sausage and bacon with breakfast i can have that and then
00:01:58.960 each each successive day she started adding more meat products onto her vegetarian diet until now
00:02:03.960 she's just back she's a vegetarian who also eats meat which is fine which is perfectly valid that is a
00:02:10.480 self-identity that i can respect uh and you know and her trajectory of vegetarianism i think follows a
00:02:16.500 similar trajectory of a lot of people who you know announce themselves to be vegetarian
00:02:20.520 you know one of the one of the the the small joys of parenthood is uh just seeing the kinds of
00:02:33.420 names and labels that your kids come up with for things um as they're as they're sort of like making
00:02:40.360 sense of the world and that could that could always be a lot of fun and so i i didn't it could be fun
00:02:44.880 but it's also a little terrifying at times so i did this experience a couple days ago um i was at
00:02:49.940 home we were in the living room at night and my my four-year-old son who he's always got a ton of
00:02:57.000 energy he's like a rabid raccoon running around the house at all at all hours of the day uh just
00:03:02.280 full full of of energy but this was it was getting late it was like eight o'clock and he he was had
00:03:09.080 more energy than usual and i was trying to figure out what was going on with him and then he said to me
00:03:14.240 he said uh hey daddy guess what and i said what they said uh i i found some i found some wild beans
00:03:23.180 i ate some wild beans and they've made me strong and crazy that's what he said
00:03:28.900 and i thought for a minute like wild beans that you ate that have made you crazy
00:03:36.880 what the hell did this kid find and eat and i'm racking my brain now because i'm thinking was he
00:03:42.620 did he finally did he eat like poison berries from outside did he was he in the medicine cabinet
00:03:48.140 this is a four-year-old he ate something that he considers a wild bean did he find like a crack
00:03:54.420 rock and eat it i don't think so i don't smoke a lot of crack at the house so that he shouldn't
00:03:57.880 have been able to find that um and then my but my wife quickly put pieced it all together and
00:04:03.080 realized that he had somehow invaded our uh our uh our pantry and we had a whole bag i guess of
00:04:10.180 chocolate covered raisins and he had ate the entire bag i don't know how he got up there where he found
00:04:14.200 them i didn't even know we had them he ate the whole bag and then he was on a sugar high so that
00:04:18.340 was the answer that could be with it with a four-year-old though that could be anything wild
00:04:23.340 beans that's just a great you know it's just a it's a great way of looking at chocolate covered
00:04:29.460 raisins i suppose you know established titles is your opportunity to earn the title of lord or lady
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00:04:48.480 one square foot of dedicated land on a private estate in eddleston scotland plus an official
00:04:52.480 certificate which i have here with a crest your certificate features a unique plot number with which
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00:05:20.720 preserving the woodlands not only in scotland but around the planet a tree is planted for every order
00:05:26.340 they receive and uh you probably know this about me that was a really important part of this uh
00:05:30.740 deal for me established titles told me that the first 200 people that purchase a title pack
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00:05:53.080 you know one of my favorite things uh about little kids is the way that they question things well that
00:06:03.980 could be my favorite thing and also my least favorite thing it depends on the questions they're
00:06:06.800 asking and how many times they ask the same question in the context and everything um but the good thing
00:06:12.940 with kids is their minds are always working and they're trying to figure stuff out and um you never
00:06:17.940 know what exactly is going on up there until they open their mouths as my four-year-old did last night
00:06:23.180 while he was sitting on the couch and um and he he turned to me and he asked pointing pointing to his
00:06:28.560 older brother he said daddy if me and luke switched heads what would happen and i said well i mean you die
00:06:37.520 first of all so don't that's the first thing and you probably make a heck of a mess in the process so
00:06:41.820 and he kind of goes silent and he thinks about it and then i start thinking about it too
00:06:46.400 and now i'm now i'm now my wheels are turning and then i i asked him i said well okay what if you did
00:06:55.440 switch heads with him would you now have luke's body or luke's head like would would would giving
00:07:02.600 your head to luke mean that you go with your head or would it be more accurate to say that you remain
00:07:08.320 with your body and now you just have luke's head you see what i'm saying very philosophical question
00:07:13.860 and um and he he processed it for a while and eventually we both agreed that he would probably
00:07:21.140 travel with his head but it's an interesting question and then later on when i was putting
00:07:24.940 him to bed and we're still talking about this this question of uh removing heads and everything
00:07:28.240 great thing to talk about at bedtime and you know and things are finally clicking and he goes wait a
00:07:33.220 second daddy so so i'm in my head i'm in my bones in my head and he starts knocking on his head like
00:07:38.440 he's knocking on the front door trying to communicate with himself and then we got it when we started
00:07:42.620 talking about the mind body problem and neurology and the soul and it was all very metaphysical after
00:07:47.500 a while um i say we were talking about that but it was like i was talking and he was just sitting
00:07:51.260 there not understanding anything i was saying but i did make sure to emphasize putting all that aside
00:07:55.560 don't actually try to do this please do not try to take your head off that's all that should be the main
00:08:01.720 point here you know i was sitting down with my kids uh dinner last night and uh i asked them as i
00:08:12.500 always ask them you know what did you learn today in their in their homeschool classes and in the past
00:08:18.580 i've asked them uh i i would ask them a broader question like uh what happened today or you know what
00:08:25.380 did you do today and i realized with kids you got to be more specific because if you ask a broad
00:08:30.580 question i you know i would always ask what what happened today and uh the answer would always be
00:08:35.600 something like uh well we went outside and we saw something in the yard and we went up to it and it
00:08:41.700 was a squirrel he was dead and he in his his he didn't have eyes and i would say wow dead squirrel huh
00:08:49.920 what else happened anything no that was it just a dead squirrel what did you do with the dead squirrel
00:08:57.080 oh we played dodgeball with it oh dear god get away from you all the black plague now um so i i get
00:09:03.860 more specific and now i ask what did you learn today and that can be a fruitful thing so i asked
00:09:07.280 that yesterday and um my kids told me that they were learning about one of the one of the things
00:09:11.820 they learned about was uh persuasion and uh what what is persuasion and how do you persuade people
00:09:17.920 you know especially in the form of writing and they were telling me about that and i said well that's
00:09:22.820 great so uh let's try this out can you uh persuade me of something just try to persuade me of of
00:09:29.560 something and uh they couldn't figure out what they should persuade me of and then of course my wife
00:09:34.880 was was there and she chimed in immediately and said oh kids you should persuade daddy to get a dog
00:09:40.080 because we're still doing the dog thing and uh my daughter made an attempt and her attempt at
00:09:47.820 persuasion was this daddy i am persuading you you are being persuaded get a dog get a dog you're
00:09:54.900 persuaded and i try to explain to her that's not persuasion you can't just make your demand louder
00:10:01.780 and louder but what you're doing here this is like an exorcism the power of christ compels you that's
00:10:07.440 not persuasion but then i also realized that um that is basically how arguments go on twitter this
00:10:14.860 is she's she's she's ready for her own twitter account i think because that's that's the way
00:10:18.860 persuasion works not just on twitter but in society generally