The Matt Walsh Show - July 10, 2026


What Should Parents Do When They Feel Totally Overwhelmed？


Episode Stats


Length

26 minutes

Words per minute

182.77

Word count

4,848

Sentence count

350

Harmful content

Misogyny

12

sentences flagged

Toxicity

3

sentences flagged

Hate speech

10

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Parenting can be hard. Is it harder than we thought? Do you feel like you re not supposed to be a parent? Or are you just not meant to be one? In this episode, we tackle these questions and more from the lost souls of Reddit.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
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00:00:56.860 All right. So today we'll go back to our lost souls of Reddit to deliver some life advice
00:01:03.180 based on questions that are posed over on Reddit. And I can't promise that my advice is good.
00:01:09.720 It's not legally, I can't be held legally responsible if anyone takes my advice and
00:01:14.820 it goes poorly for them. But I can say that the advice I give is at least better than what you
00:01:19.060 would get from the community at Reddit, which is as low a bar as it can possibly get.
00:01:24.280 Okay. Is parenting supposed to be this hard?
00:01:26.860 I, 30 female, have two kids age five and three. I love them so much, but I also feel like they're
00:01:32.000 making me so down all the time. I feel like a terrible parent. My husband has gone on holiday
00:01:36.040 for a week with some friends and I've really struggled. I ended up getting so angry at my
00:01:39.540 three-year-old yesterday because she asked me to take her to the toilet three times whilst I was 0.88
00:01:43.500 trying to eat my dinner. I know it's not her fault if she needs the toilet, but I was so tired and I
00:01:47.680 wanted to eat my dinner in peace and I felt terrible afterwards. I really missed my pre-child
00:01:51.560 life. Everything was so much easier and I was happier. I'm so stressed and tired all the time
00:01:55.600 Now, even trying to get them to go to bed in the evening is such a battle. Sometimes I just want
00:01:59.700 to leave and have my freedom back. Does everyone feel like this? Or am I just not supposed to be
00:02:04.720 a mum? I'm picking up on British from whilst and mum. So that's my, you know, I'm really good at 0.99
00:02:13.800 these kinds of things. Okay. Well, I can answer the last question. You're supposed to be a mom
00:02:19.900 because you are a mom. So that solves the riddle. You know, if you're a parent, you don't need to
00:02:24.380 sit around thinking, was I supposed to be a parent? Well, you are, like you are. So yeah,
00:02:30.340 you're supposed to. In fact, most people are supposed to be parents. So you're doing a thing
00:02:35.060 that billions of people have done before you. It is the basic path that almost everybody follows.
00:02:43.840 And most of the people who don't follow that path, it's only because they weren't able to
00:02:47.300 for one reason or another. So yeah, you were supposed to. And as to your other question,
00:02:51.040 does everybody feel like this? Well, if by like this you mean occasionally frustrated, stressed
00:02:55.780 out, irritated, sure. If you mean wanting to be able to eat a meal in peace, again, sure, definitely.
00:03:05.740 But if you mean like pining for your childless past, constantly missing the times before you
00:03:14.060 had kids, sort of wishing that you weren't a parent, well, no, not every parent feels that
00:03:20.220 way. I know that because I don't feel that way. And so that's one parent who doesn't. And I think
00:03:26.040 there are many millions more in my camp. And I'm not saying that to make you feel bad. Is that
00:03:30.880 because I'm a better person than you? No, almost certainly not. You could easily be a better person
00:03:35.560 than me. That wouldn't be hard to do. Very low bar. It's not about that. But as a parent myself
00:03:42.760 with two of our six who are now teenagers, I certainly get annoyed with my kids, but I really
00:03:49.380 do deeply enjoy being a parent. I don't miss at all the days of not being a parent, but I enjoy
00:03:59.420 it now more than I did, say, 10 years ago. I've grown into the role, which is something that for
00:04:06.740 some reason isn't talked about enough, I don't think, but you grow into it. For sure, I enjoy
00:04:16.960 the job of being a parent now more than I did a decade ago. Definitely. And that's part of the
00:04:23.420 story, I think, is that you do grow into it, that you get better at it as you go. Or it should work
00:04:30.940 that way. I mean, it doesn't always, but it should. It often does. That's the way it's meant to work.
00:04:36.560 And we don't really allow for that. We don't take that into account. And we forget to tell
00:04:41.120 young parents, we forget to say to them that like, hey, you're going to suck at this at first. 0.98
00:04:46.960 you're going to be really bad at this. Just like you suck at doing anything when you first start 0.99
00:04:52.980 doing it. And when you suck at doing something, it's not as enjoyable. When you're bad at doing 0.98
00:04:58.180 a thing, it's not nearly as enjoyable as when you get good at it. When you're bad at it,
00:05:04.600 there's a lot of frustration. It's like picking up a hobby. Okay, being a parent is not a hobby,
00:05:10.480 but I'm just for comparison saying, picking up a hobby. It's like one of the reasons why people
00:05:14.800 don't often develop hobbies is that when you're kind of interested in it, so you start doing it,
00:05:20.980 whatever the hobby is, and you're bad at it at first. And so it's actually not that fun.
00:05:27.020 You have to push through the part where you're bad at it to get to the point where this hobby
00:05:31.420 is enjoyable. And most people don't, and so they just never pick up hobbies and they don't become
00:05:36.320 interesting people who do interesting things. And it's like that with parenting,
00:05:40.600 where at first you're not very good at it. And, uh, and so you're frustrated by things that later
00:05:47.680 on in life won't be nearly as frustrating, but here it is. And so you just have to give it some
00:05:51.880 time. Um, this is what I'm always telling parents in general, just give it time, relax a little bit,
00:05:56.440 relax a little bit, and just give it some time. Your oldest kid is five years old. You only have
00:06:02.060 two. You've been a parent for 10 seconds, basically. I mean, you know, your oldest kid
00:06:07.720 is barely kindergarten age, right? I mean, it's like, you just started doing this. You just
00:06:14.960 started. Just give it some time. So many, so many of the challenges you face as a parent
00:06:21.960 are solved just by giving them time and a lot less time than you think. Like the time that it
00:06:29.380 takes for this problem. And it's not just like, you can just leave it alone. You keep trying and
00:06:34.200 keep doing your best. And also you trying and doing your best combined with time will make
00:06:41.040 most of these problems go away. Most of them. And parenting is a skill. It's not just a skill,
00:06:47.360 but it's also a skill. And skills take time to develop. So I'm a much more skilled parent today
00:06:52.720 than I was a decade ago. I had no idea what I was doing a decade ago. I was fumbling around,
00:06:57.560 often stressed out and flustered and overwhelmed. I still get that way sometimes. Anyone can,
00:07:02.440 But once you've done it for a while, you're just much better at it.
00:07:08.620 And so it's like if I'm having dinner, especially with two kids, five and three, it would be very difficult for me to get so flustered in that situation that I'm plunging into despair like it is for you.
00:07:26.900 Again, not because I'm a better person, just I have more experience with it.
00:07:30.000 You just have to have more experience.
00:07:31.040 And it's not just about getting more skilled, though.
00:07:33.920 It's also about the wisdom that comes with age and experience.
00:07:37.020 It's about coming to understand a few things.
00:07:40.420 Two things primarily, I think.
00:07:43.160 There are two things that parents have to eventually understand that they might not at first.
00:07:47.960 I know I didn't.
00:07:49.920 And the first, and you hear both of these in the post.
00:07:53.380 The first is that just because something is harder does not mean that it has to be less enjoyable.
00:08:01.040 In fact, harder things can and should usually be more enjoyable, right?
00:08:08.580 The challenge is what makes it enjoyable.
00:08:11.320 And you can think of a million analogies that make that point, right?
00:08:15.660 If you went out to shoot some hoops, if you went down to a basketball court to shoot some hoops,
00:08:20.240 and you had a genie granted a wish to make it so that every single shot you took would automatically go in from anywhere,
00:08:29.140 then yeah that'd be great you go to the nba and you know make a hundred million dollars
00:08:34.180 but it wouldn't be fun like that would be fun for five minutes and then it's not fun anymore
00:08:41.000 where there's no challenge right um and it's you know you take that and apply it to anything when
00:08:47.560 you take the challenge out of something it's actually less fun but we're conditioned to assume
00:08:52.460 that the easier thing is always the better thing it's like in our culture we define a fun thing a
00:08:58.560 pleasurable thing as a thing that can be done easily with no resistance. And then we have kids
00:09:04.960 and we discover that lots of things that were easy before that could be done with no resistance
00:09:09.540 now have resistance. Now they're difficult, or at least they're more difficult than they were
00:09:14.580 before. And so we instinctively categorize them in our heads as not fun, as not enjoyable.
00:09:20.620 We think, oh, life with kids is less easy, and therefore it's worse, because that's how we have been conditioned to see things.
00:09:31.720 But that's totally wrong. It's just a wrong way of looking at the world.
00:09:36.800 In fact, the reality is something closer to the opposite.
00:09:39.980 As I said, generally speaking, there's little joy to be found in things that are too easy, in things that can be done with no friction and no resistance.
00:09:50.200 There's relaxation in that, but joy is found in achieving something, in doing something.
00:09:57.560 And so parenting offers you many of those opportunities.
00:10:00.040 It's like Jakey Chesterton said, an inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.
00:10:07.260 So in other words, you have an obstacle, an inconvenience, but you choose to see it as
00:10:16.400 an inconvenience when you could see it as an adventure. And maybe that sounds trite or
00:10:20.620 cliched, but I think it's one of the, I think it's one of the, if it's a cliche, it's one of
00:10:25.100 the wisest cliches that's ever been uttered. And, um, and if you really take it to heart,
00:10:29.940 you realize that, uh, many of the things that make you miserable in life, it only make,
00:10:35.600 it only makes you miserable because of how you choose to see it because you choose to see it in
00:10:41.300 a way that is guaranteed to make you miserable. And that certainly applies to parenting.
00:10:48.880 And the other misconception you see in this post, which is common, is that being a parent
00:10:52.540 means losing freedom. So this idea that non-parents have more freedom just isn't true at all.
00:10:59.460 You actually have more freedom as a parent in that you are able to do things and experience
00:11:04.980 things that you couldn't when you didn't have kids. As I've said many times, there's nothing
00:11:12.340 that a non-parent can do. There's nothing that they can experience that I can't and haven't.
00:11:21.120 There's plenty that I can do as a parent that they can't. There's plenty of things I can
00:11:25.700 experience that they can't. There's an entire category of joy that is open and available to
00:11:32.540 me and to you that is not available to non-parents. The distinct joy of being a parent. The love that
00:11:40.200 you feel for your children. Non-parents do not have the freedom to experience that. So in what
00:11:48.400 way do they have more freedom? Again, there's nothing they can do that you can't. It may take
00:11:55.300 a little more effort on your part, but so what? Is that freedom? Is freedom the ability to do
00:12:00.720 things without effort? Is that all that freedom is? What kind of definition of freedom is that?
00:12:07.540 I mean, by that definition, prison is freedom. Like if freedom is just like
00:12:12.720 not having to put in a lot of effort, then in some ways, prison is the most free place you
00:12:19.920 could ever go because there's really no effort. You just sit there. They don't even make you do
00:12:25.440 hard labor anymore. You just sit there. A lot of freedom, I guess.
00:12:31.680 Or is freedom the ability to do whatever you want? Well, if that's the definition,
00:12:37.320 then none of us are free but God, because none of us can literally do whatever we want.
00:12:42.960 There are laws, first of all. There are many physical constraints that prevent us from
00:12:47.500 fulfilling all of our wildest fantasies. So what is freedom? I mean, in what way did you
00:12:55.160 have your freedom before you had kids? What kind of freedom did you have before you had kids that
00:13:03.020 you now have less of? Because I would say that freedom could be defined more like
00:13:09.800 the capacity, the opportunity to participate in meaningful human experiences. I think that's
00:13:20.900 kind of what freedom is. Maybe not a perfect definition, but there's something to it, I think.
00:13:26.460 And by that definition, as a parent, you are considerably more free because you have a greater
00:13:32.620 capacity and greater opportunity to participate in meaningful human experiences. But this is all
00:13:44.200 academic. You can hear it and understand it, but over time, you can... Well, you can hear it. You
00:13:50.020 can hear what i'm saying but over over time you begin to understand it um but you just have to
00:13:55.380 give it time for centuries john milton's paradise lost has been considered one of the great works
00:14:00.660 of literature that's ever been written a christian epic that wrestles with timeless questions about
00:14:06.560 temptation freedom pride and god's relationship with mankind in one of its most famous lines
00:14:12.440 satan declares better to reign in hell than serve in heaven it's a line that cuts to the heart of
00:14:17.840 rebellion, and Milton's response to it is one of the most powerful in all of Western literature.
00:14:23.140 That's why Hillsdale College offers a free online course on Paradise Lost taught by real
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00:14:37.680 pride, every rejection of God, traces back to the same lies Satan tells himself in that line.
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00:15:05.140 Go to hillsdale.edu slash walsh to enroll. It's totally free.
00:15:09.040 Start reading, learn the classics, rediscover the West.
00:15:12.080 start right now at hillsdale.edu slash walsh. June means summer is officially here. My family
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00:16:35.960 with my wife because I don't take initiative. How do I learn to take the lead and not be a
00:16:40.880 passenger in my own life? We had been together almost 20 years now, married for 15, grown kid.
00:16:45.360 We're on vacation and had not planned anything I really wanted to see. Well, it was a working
00:16:49.140 vacation. She was doing a training and I had driven us there to go along. When the weekend
00:16:53.700 came, she asked what I would like to do. I had not really planned or looked into anything and
00:16:57.100 she got a little irritated. This led to an argument. I guess more of a vent session than
00:17:01.800 an argument, I didn't really say much back, to be honest. She said I need to be more proactive and
00:17:06.240 take the lead more in our lives and not be a passenger along for the ride, pointing out how
00:17:10.240 I rarely pick movies to watch or how I had not even bothered to look up any places to eat or
00:17:14.160 things to do around the city we were in. This went for a little while, and she said that it gets old
00:17:18.160 having a cardboard cutout of a husband, that she wants a person who has opinions and is curious
00:17:22.560 about the world around, not just along for the ride. I will admit that I had not thought of
00:17:26.840 things to do while we were on this trip, and I could have. I had lots of spare time while she
00:17:30.440 was in training. She didn't really talk much to drive home. I think this has been stirring for a
00:17:34.600 while. It's probably more than not looking up things to do on the trip. I always thought letting
00:17:38.400 her take the lead would allow her to get what she wants and make her happy. I guess it is not what
00:17:42.020 she wants, and now I am kind of lost on how to take more initiative and be more proactive in life
00:17:47.040 and our relationships. I really don't have many close friends to ask things like this of and
00:17:51.200 probably wouldn't even if I did. My question is, how do I learn to be more proactive in my
00:17:55.000 relationship before it's too late? Yeah, this is interesting. You know, this is an interesting
00:17:58.420 point here, but I think vacation is the wrong place to make the point. Because on vacation,
00:18:03.600 I'm a big believer in not planning things. I think the whole point of a vacation is to not
00:18:09.580 have stuff planned. I'm not a planner on vacation. This is a source of disagreement with my wife.
00:18:16.260 She is the planning type on vacation for sure. So she'll say, okay, on the first day of vacation, 0.61
00:18:21.820 let's get up at 4 45 a.m. and go do this activity and you say what kind of activities do they even
00:18:29.340 have at what godforsaken place have we gone to where they have activities at five in the morning
00:18:35.920 what is happening you want me to get less sleep on vacation that this is totally backwards
00:18:42.280 and then you know and she'll have the whole thing and i'll say hey relax i got a better idea let's
00:18:50.320 not do any of that. She'll have the whole plan, like we're going to do this, and then we got this
00:18:55.100 activity, and then there's going to do lunch. And I'll say, let's not do any of that. Here's a
00:18:59.780 better plan. Let's do none of the things you just said at all. Let's not do anything. Let's do
00:19:05.740 nothing. Because vacations are meant, I believe, to be focused around a particular body of water,
00:19:12.340 a lake or an ocean, and all you do is you go sit at that body of water
00:19:19.420 and you do activities that are focused on or around the body of water, like fishing
00:19:27.480 or swimming. You could go snorkeling. Well, snorkeling is too involved. We're not going
00:19:33.840 to do that. There's too many things involved. It's got to be something that can just easily
00:19:37.120 be done. It can't be like, it can't require, you know, more than about five minutes of setup and
00:19:42.560 preparation. So snorkeling is out. Last time we did a beach vacation, my wife's like, let's rent
00:19:49.420 some jet skis. And I said, yeah, you got to go all the way down there and like do the whole rental 1.00
00:19:54.460 and you got to like fill out forms. I don't want to fill out a form. We're on vacation.
00:19:59.760 vacation. So he didn't do that. But I'm a little extreme when it comes to vacation. I'm an extreme
00:20:08.700 non-planner. So on vacation, I'm on the husband's side, but it's clear that this is a general issue
00:20:14.560 that goes beyond vacation, as he admits. And yes, generally speaking in life, you need to take the
00:20:20.060 initiative as the man. And that's what women want you to do. Allowing the wife to take the lead in 0.98
00:20:27.700 your family is about the worst thing you can do as a husband. It's not going to make anybody 0.99
00:20:32.640 happier, at least of all her. It's not going to make you happier. It's not going to make the kids
00:20:38.020 happier. And this goes for big things and small things. And the small things in some ways are
00:20:43.400 more important or at least, you know, have elevated importance because there's more of them.
00:20:49.360 You know, they happen more often. And if you're asking her to be proactive or, you know, if you're
00:20:55.660 asking how to be more proactive and take the initiative, then start with the small things.
00:21:01.480 So do this, try this. And this is like, it's kind of, it's, it's surprising to me how few
00:21:08.900 husbands do this. I think, but I think, and I think this is much more common, you know,
00:21:13.240 in the old days. So do this very simple. Tell your wife, Hey, we're going to go out on Friday night,
00:21:21.820 right? Six o'clock, I have reservations. Just make the reservation. Don't ask her where she
00:21:27.940 wants to go. Just do it on your own. Call a place up. You can go online. Just make a reservation,
00:21:34.180 whatever. Don't even need to tell her where you're going. Then on Friday night, you drive her there.
00:21:40.180 You sit down. You've already looked at the menu ahead of time online, right? Every restaurant has
00:21:46.520 menus online. Takes 10 seconds. Look at the menu. You have been with your wife for 15 years. You
00:21:52.520 know what she likes. I assume you've been to a billion restaurants. You know the kinds of things
00:21:57.840 she likes to eat. Every person has like three things they order at a restaurant. And so you 1.00
00:22:03.520 picked a place that has one of those three things. And so you sit down at the table and you say,
00:22:09.020 this place has a really good salmon. You'll probably like that. The waiter comes. You place
00:22:14.880 an appetizer order. You don't even ask her what she wants. You don't consult her. When the waiter
00:22:21.900 comes, you just give your drink order and say, hey, we'd like to put in an order of the whatever,
00:22:27.280 right? Because you know what she likes to eat. So you don't need to ask. You already know what 1.00
00:22:33.180 kind of appetizer she likes. Just put the order in. And then you go home and you tell your wife, 1.00
00:22:41.980 hey, there's a movie that just came out on streaming. Let's watch it. I think you'll like
00:22:47.840 it. Why don't you go get changed? I'll get the movie queued up. And then while she's doing that,
00:22:52.940 you go get her a drink. You know what kind of thing she likes to drink at night, whether it's
00:22:56.240 chamomile tea or wine or whatever. And you pour the drink and you give it to her. And these are
00:23:02.400 all small things. These are just all the things that your wife wants you to do. Be the man, take
00:23:07.200 the lead, make the decisions, be confident, you know. And once you're doing that with the small
00:23:15.120 things, then it becomes easier and more natural to take the lead on the bigger things, right?
00:23:20.260 Now, I will say one thing, a point for the other side of the situation. If you're the wife in this 0.81
00:23:28.060 situation and you want your husband to take the lead, which every wife at some level does, 0.86
00:23:32.560 you then have to take the backseat and not interfere when he does take the lead. 0.88
00:23:42.160 Because here's what often happens. The wife will say to the husband, who's a bit of a pushover, 0.90
00:23:46.640 I want you to lead. And then the husband will say, maybe he'll try. He'll give it a shot.
00:23:53.560 And he'll do what I just said. I'll pick the restaurant. And then you show up at the restaurant
00:23:58.300 and you say, oh, I don't want to eat at this place. Oh, I'm not in the mood. Oh, you should
00:24:02.460 have known. No, oh, I don't like that. I heard this place was bad. Don't do that. Don't complain
00:24:08.400 that your husband doesn't lead and then whine and micromanage when he does. You can't have it both
00:24:11.920 ways. You cannot have it both ways. Him leading means that you're following, okay? Be a good
00:24:18.820 follower. Don't put him in a lose-lose scenario where you're mad at him for not leading and then
00:24:25.000 annoyed at him because he leads. Because guess what? Wanting someone to lead and then trying
00:24:31.660 to dictate the way that they lead means that they're not leading, you are. Right? You're still
00:24:39.520 leading. You actually, so he's, you know, on the horse and you're behind him, but you're reaching
00:24:45.620 around him to grab the reins. You're not actually letting him just, you know, guide the horse,
00:24:50.160 ride the horse. So you got to take your hands off the reins. You can't have it both ways.
00:24:57.600 Okay. And if all you want is like a figurehead, if all you want is someone who
00:25:02.180 pretends that they're leading, but you're really calling all the shots, then that's a you problem.
00:25:09.820 Okay. And I suspect, I mean, I don't know anything about this couple. I suspect it's
00:25:13.680 a little bit of that also, right? You got the wife who's got the business thing. She's a
00:25:18.440 businesswoman and she's going to the training and the husband's like, the husband's already 0.71
00:25:21.620 kind of like tagging along for her thing. And so it's a little bit, and, um, you know, and she's
00:25:26.420 calling him a cardboard cutout. Like it's being very disrespectful. It's the kind of thing you
00:25:30.380 should never say your husband, no matter what. So even just from this, I'm getting vibes of this
00:25:35.600 being a woman who claims, claims, I want you to take the lead. But the moment he tries, she's 0.99
00:25:41.520 going to say, Oh, not that way. Oh, I want you to lead, but I want you to lead exactly as I want
00:25:46.600 down to every particular. 0.51
00:25:53.320 So yes, the husband's job is to take the lead. 0.94
00:25:55.740 The wife's job then is to not critique 0.89
00:25:57.400 and micromanage every step of the way. 1.00
00:26:00.780 Okay.
00:26:02.540 But none of this applies to a vacation
00:26:04.740 where you should just be sitting and doing nothing at all,
00:26:09.600 which is why vacation exists in the first place.
00:26:14.980 Unless you're going fishing,
00:26:16.040 in which case getting up before 45 a.m. makes sense. Only for that one exception. That's the
00:26:21.780 only... I don't make the rules, okay? I mean, I do, but that's besides the point. So, I trust that
00:26:27.020 I've solved these problems, and everybody will live happily ever after.