The Matt Walsh Show - Who's The Biggest A-Hole？ Episode 1

00:00:00.000 am i the a-hole for forcing my son to call me mom oh here's a good one okay this is a meaty one 0.51

00:00:22.060 when my husband and i wanted a child we decided to pursue surrogacy instead of a traditional

00:00:26.680 pregnancy it was a hard decision that took a lot of late night talks and fighting because he wanted 0.82

00:00:31.940 to be involved in the pregnancy and everything but i was terrified of ppd postpartum depression

00:00:36.460 the postpartum body and all the morning sickness that came with it finally we went through an

00:00:40.480 agency to find a suitable gestational carrier otherwise known as a human being i'd like to

00:00:45.760 think we were pretty involved throughout the pregnancy process and we somewhat befriended the

00:00:48.940 carrier befriended the carrier um nowadays we're not closed by any means but we send each other

00:00:56.280 birthday and holiday wishes and such tuesday my son found out about the surrogacy it wasn't really a

00:01:01.320 secret by any means but the topic just never came up he was talking about how he learned about it in

00:01:06.140 biology how i thought it was weird i told him no it's completely normal and that he came from a

00:01:10.860 surrogate i didn't think it would be that big of a deal but for the next few days he started pestering

00:01:15.020 me about the details of who the surrogate was and why i went through with it well i told him my reasons

00:01:19.240 and he took from the conversation that i was too lazy to have him myself yes he's now insisting that

00:01:25.700 i'm not his mom my husband told me that it's just a phase that's probably because our son's a little

00:01:30.680 raw from an unrelated argument we had earlier this month however i'm honestly really hurt and

00:01:34.760 disrespected that he doesn't think of me as his mom when i tried to have a discussion about it he

00:01:38.960 escalated after and now only calls me by my real name instead of mom his argument that is that it's

00:01:44.260 his choice to decide who he wants to call his parents i kind of like this kid i gotta be honest with

00:01:49.740 you uh no i mean you're not an a-hole for for forcing your son to call you mom um but you are 0.89

00:01:57.340 the a-hole for choosing surrogacy in the first place so that's where you went wrong but you're

00:02:00.980 an asshole you rented out a womb like you're renting a room you know you treated another person's body 0.99

00:02:07.440 like a like an airbnb and yeah they they they volunteered for it i mean they they like sold

00:02:13.860 their body to you literally i mean they sold their womb to you and because you didn't want to deal 0.99

00:02:19.640 with the physical changes that come with motherhood um you're right your son was exactly correct in fact

00:02:25.220 you shouldn't talk to his mom that way uh but but he's right that you were just too lazy to carry the 0.69

00:02:30.480 child yourself now you're reaping some of the consequences that your child doesn't feel connected

00:02:34.460 to you in the same way because he's not now this is different from something like adoption

00:02:39.580 where you're giving up comfort for the sake of the child you're bringing the child into your

00:02:43.520 family but surrogacy is is the opposite because rather than being born from sacrifice it comes

00:02:50.120 from an unwillingness to make a sacrifice so i i think it's a i think it's a horrific practice

00:02:56.460 honestly and dehumanizing even the way you refer to this the carrier we befriended the carrier

00:03:02.900 um it's terrible and you're they home

00:03:06.020 let's see my daughter came out as transgender a few years ago and for her birthday this year we

00:03:17.480 legally changed her first name to a feminine name of her choosing my wife and i have always supported

00:03:22.220 her and her transition but my daughter seemed disappointed that her surname wasn't also changed

00:03:27.760 i am icelandic american um if you don't know surnames are quite different than in other countries

00:03:33.560 one surname is their father's first name and a suffix related to their gender the son of jokul

00:03:40.000 would be jokul son and the daughter of jokul would be jokul doter when my american wife and i married she 0.96

00:03:47.760 took my last name per american custom and gave that same masculine surname to our daughter when she was

00:03:52.760 born all of us have the same masculine last name my daughter wishes to change her surname to jokul

00:03:58.220 doter in order to align with her gender expression as well as icelandic naming customs i hadn't

00:04:03.540 considered this for her as we live in the united states and use the local customs my wife and i are

00:04:07.080 on the fence about changing her legal name again as processes like this are very expensive and time 0.98

00:04:11.840 consuming i told her that her mother and i would be more than happy to help with the paperwork if she

00:04:15.660 paid for the processing our daughter doesn't accept our reasoning and claims that we're only 0.98

00:04:20.040 contributing to her existing dysphoria by not going through the process again so am i the a**hole for 0.91

00:04:25.340 making my transgender daughter pay for her own surname change but no absolutely not you are not the a**hole 1.00

00:04:31.340 for that you are the a**hole for everything else in this story what a**hole starting with the fact that 0.96

00:04:38.240 you were supportive of your son pretending to be a girl so your son and did you say how old your son is

00:04:45.520 17 okay uh your son has two problems here and this is your son we're dealing with your son is um a

00:04:54.460 self-entitled narcissist demanding you have to pay for everything or my dysphoria is going to be worse

00:05:01.300 this is emotional blackmail um and this is in in gender ideology it's very common this is one of

00:05:07.780 you know the the propagandists that that that foist this stuff on kids they encourage this kind of

00:05:12.940 emotional blackmail oh to get everything you want just tell your loved ones that you know you're

00:05:17.940 gonna that uh you're gonna have dysphoria and you'll be in emotional pain if they don't do literally

00:05:22.620 everything you want so this is self-entitled narcissism and it's also you know a certain

00:05:27.440 element of of you know just sincere confusion as well and you as the the parent as the adult you're

00:05:34.940 supposed to be a voice of reason you're supposed to be a clarifying presence

00:05:37.960 and by supporting your son in his delusions his narcissism his confusion uh you are dooming him 0.56

00:05:46.300 to a life of despair and that's what makes you an asshole 0.78

00:05:48.700 am i the asshole for wanting my son to get along with my boyfriend sean is my 13 year old child and 0.98

00:06:00.860 i am a single mother connor my current boyfriend of course his name is connor and i have been together

00:06:05.960 for two years sean has disliked connor for as long as you can remember he would go upstairs and ignore

00:06:11.100 connor whenever he came to my place even though i let connor drop sean off at school sean has never

00:06:15.380 once expressed appreciation or bonded with connor connor pretended to be unconcerned by his actions

00:06:19.940 but i could tell he was hurt by all of it i asked him why he despised connor so much he gave a list of

00:06:25.340 various reasons some of which i seriously doubt to begin with he claims that when connor dropped him

00:06:29.680 off at school a couple of times he made derogatory remarks about his asian friends calling him a

00:06:34.820 little kung pao chicken etc so it's not funny sean mentioned the time connor didn't give his

00:06:42.360 guinea pig water and when he and i were at the beach a year ago he was house sitting for three days

00:06:47.760 sean also mentioned how connor advised him to man up in a number of circumstances i basically told him

00:06:53.500 straight up that i don't believe anything he's saying i confronted connor after that and he denied all of

00:06:57.580 it so because sean lied i took away his gaming consoles as punishment i also lectured him about

00:07:02.200 abusing connor who might be his new stepdad one day sean told his father my ex what had happened

00:07:08.120 now my ex is cursing at me for being unfair towards my son am i the okay yeah you're the a-hole look i

00:07:14.940 don't know your situation i don't know why you aren't married to sean's dad but what i do know is that

00:07:22.700 what sean wants what all kids want is for their parents to live together in the same house and

00:07:28.320 have a real intact family like they're real parents both of them like that's that's what sean wants

00:07:33.040 that's what your kid wants and like if you can't handle that grow the hell up and if they can't have

00:07:37.000 that for whatever reason you can't blame them for being upset or for not being especially fond of the

00:07:42.980 runner-up prize hey sean uh your dad and i you know you can't have a real dad but here's connor

00:07:49.380 why don't you settle on that instead and besides he's just your boyfriend so sean doesn't know if

00:07:57.480 this guy will be actually a permanent fixture in your life have you thought about that how many

00:08:03.000 let me ask you how many boyfriends have you had since the father of your child i'm guessing more than

00:08:10.840 one so how many times has sean been expected to develop a father-son relationship with the new guy

00:08:18.520 in your life who just ends up getting you know ends up out of the picture in a year or two anyway

00:08:22.500 you might have your hands full once i'll pick up the controller have you ever thought about the fact

00:08:25.740 that that there's this continual uh effect of abandonment that your son is going through and so

00:08:31.540 now he's putting up defense defenses against that because he's tired of being abandoned by one man after

00:08:38.500 another whether it's the man's fault or yours or a combination probably a combination have you thought

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The Matt Walsh Show - October 22, 2022

Who's The Biggest A-Hole？ Episode 1

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