Who's The Biggest A-Hole？ Episode 4
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
209.4322
Summary
It's okay to be an a-hole in public, but only in the right circumstances. A.H.O. dilemma: What do you do when you find yourself in a situation where you're the one who needs to step up to the plate, but no one else will?
Transcript
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I was in a higher-end apartment store today, rhymes with looming tales, and happened to end up next
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to two teenage girls while shopping. One of the girls had picked out a pair of very expensive
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boots. They were both fawning over them. The second girl must have looked at the price tag and asked
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the girl if she was really going to spend that much of the boots. The girl with the boots said
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something along the lines of, it's fine, I have my dad's credit card, I'm not paying, which instantly
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caught my attention because that's not her card. I've told my son multiple times he's never allowed
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to use my card, so I'm interested to see how this girl thinks she's going to get away with fraud,
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but I'd split up from the girls at this point because they had found something else. We end up
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at the same register, me behind, and I see her total hit well over four digits. The girl's about to
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swipe her card when I decide that I can't let her get away with something like that and someone
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has to parent this child if no one else will. I tell the cashier that it isn't her card but her
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father's, and I'm not sure if she has permission. The girl and the friend turn in glare and give me
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the dirtiest look I've ever seen. I swear this girl was going to throw a temper tantrum right there.
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The girl tells the cashier her father gave her the card to shop with, but the cashier says you can't
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use it, and then they storm away and they're very, very mad, and then she tells her husband what
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happened and the husband takes the side of the girls and says that she was in the wrong. Okay,
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I could see where your husband is coming from. This is like something my wife might do,
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and I would probably be in your, especially if I was with her and she was planning on the,
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I would be in your husband's shoes saying, no, just stay out of it. You know, that's her dad's
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problem. It's not our problem. We got enough problems. Okay, we don't need to add more to
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the plate. Just whatever. It's not our problem. So I would be with your husband, except that
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what would propel me to not want to get involved is really indifference. It's not actually any sort
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of ethical position. So ultimately, while you're moderately an asshole for this, it's a justified
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asshole situation. Like to narc on the kid that way. Yeah, you're kind of an a-hole, but it's also
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justified. And I really admire it. So that's one of the problems I have, I guess, with sorting
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through some of these is that I sort of admire people who are sometimes, depending on the situation,
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who are willing to be a-holes in public. So there's a third category of justified a-holishness
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that I think is, that's a nuance that's missing from the A, am I the a-hole dilemma? So I guess
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the final message is, that we should take from this is, it's okay to be an a-hole, but only
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in the right situation. Here in Canada, it's Thanksgiving weekend and my family
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is having our dinner tomorrow. My aunt, who has a toddler and is in the middle of moving,
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insisted on hosting dinner this year, despite all of us warning her it'd be a lot to do,
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especially with her moving. She insisted that she'd be able to handle it, and the plan was to
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have dinner at her place. I'm a baking and pastry art student, so I offered to make pies for dessert.
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My offer was taken up when I started planning and designing the pies for my family.
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This would be the first time any of them had seen or tried any of my baking, since I've become
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more than a home baker. I'm classically trained in French pastries, among other things, and I
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graduate this winter, so needless to say, I take great pride in what I create and consider each
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baked good a piece of art and a piece of meat. Tomorrow is the dinner, and I was just informed
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that there would be no home-cooked meal, but instead my aunt is going to order Thai takeout for
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everybody. I got upset and said that not only will I not be making the pies, but I won't be
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attending the dinner at all. My parents are mad at me for not following through, but I feel
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massively disrespected and disregarded. Am I the a-hole? I mean, a little bit. Yeah, I think you are.
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This is kind of a half-and-half a-hole deal. So you're the a-hole for all the stuff about how
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your baking is your art, and it's a piece of you, and trying to impress everyone with the fact
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that you're in college. I went to college! That makes you an a-hole, and no one wants to be around
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that. On the other hand, your aunt is ordering takeout on Thanksgiving? That is, that's a crime.
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I mean, that should actually be a crime. This isn't hard, okay? Thanksgiving is a time for a specific
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sort of meal. You should not legally be allowed to eat anything but the traditional meal. So we're
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talking turkey, stuffing, green beans, gravy, sweet potatoes, etc., right? Like, there are a few other
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staples. You can add in some variation. You can add some things in addition to the staples, your own
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twist on things if you want, but the staples need to be there. And again, if, you know, when I'm
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the theocratic fascist dictator of the world, this will be a matter of the law. All restaurants that
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serve takeout will be forcibly closed on Thanksgiving. Any restaurant owner that tries to open on
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Thanksgiving will be immediately shot. That's it. All right? It might seem a little harsh,
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but you got to break some eggs to make some omelets.
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Am I the a-hole for kicking my husband out of the delivery room? I, 23 female, my husband, 24 male,
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just had our first baby. My husband was so excited and was super supportive and caring throughout the
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pregnancy. The only thing is that he became slightly obsessed with watching YouTube and
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TikTok videos of husbands pulling pranks on their wives while in labor. I just got an idea for a
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different series of YouTube videos we have to do now. I didn't mind at first, but then he started
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casually joking about doing things he saw in the videos, saying it would be funny. I clearly stated
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my distaste for them and asked him not to do anything like what he saw. He agreed and continued to joke
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about it from time to time, but I brushed it off since I trusted him and thought nothing would
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come of it. The day of the delivery came and I had been in labor for eight hours. I had just
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finished another round of contractions when my husband let out the loudest fart, turned to me and
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said, what the hell have you been eating? It smells disgusting. I immediately recognized that as one of
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the pranks in the videos. Outraged at him, not honoring what I asked him not to do, I demanded that
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he leave the room. He started to argue, saying that it was just a joke, but I insisted and luckily
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the nurse helped him get out. The nurse helped him, helped him leave. I went through the last four
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hours of labor by myself since my family lives out of state and I'm not close to my mother-in-law.
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After the delivery, I told the nurse he could come back into the room and he was fuming.
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He started demanding that I tell him why I kicked him out. I calmly told him the reason, but he was
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pissed. He hasn't talked to me in a week. His mom is taking his side, saying that I was a complete
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bitch for kicking him out. Normally he will defend me from her, but this time he completely agreed.
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I might be the a**hole because I know how much he was looking forward to being there for the birth
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for our first kid, and especially when he got to cut the cord, but I still kicked him out and I
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refused to let him back in. The nurse asked a few times if I wanted him back in, but each time I said
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no. So am I the a**hole for kicking my husband out after a stupid prank that he agreed not to do?
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First of all, your husband is the a-hole purely because he spent weeks researching delivery room pranks,
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and that's the one he settles on? No offense, but you are a stupid a**hole. After weeks of watching
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all these videos, which do sound really hilarious, and I want to check some of that myself, but that's
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what you end up doing? Just the best you could do after all that time and all that preparation? You
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had weeks, man, and the best you could do was fart and blame it on your wife? Leaving that aside,
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yeah, he's the a**hole. Because look, fellas, you antagonize your wife while she's giving birth
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and you get what you get. I feel sorry for, you know, you about as much as I feel sorry for
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somebody who gets eaten while wrestling a crocodile. It's like these are choices you make in life and
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you live with the consequences. You knew what you were getting into. You knew the risks and you
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decided to do it anyway. And besides, third thing, he's also kind of the a-hole for being upset about
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being kicked out of the delivery room. I've been through this four times. I would have loved to
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get kicked out. Who wants to be in the delivery room anyway? I know I'm one of the only guys who
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will say this out loud, but I tell you right now, I'm not the only guy who feels this way.
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But I don't really, like, it's kind of gross. And I don't feel a great need to be there.
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I shouldn't have gotten there. I wish we could go back to the days where men hung out. This is
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what they used to do back in the old days, okay? They had a smoking room in the hospital
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and you would sit there while the woman does all the delivery stuff. And you would just sit there,
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you'd read a newspaper and you'd smoke a cigar. That's right. It's a baby. And then when the baby's
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born, you'd go into the room, you'd say hello to the baby and you'd leave and you'd check back in
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about the time they, you know, graduate middle school. That's the way it should be, okay?
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