Who's The Biggest A-Hole？ Episode 6
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
215.78072
Summary
Am i the a hole? What does it mean to be an a hole, and why is it so hard to be a hole in a marriage? What is it like living with your significant other, and how do you deal with it?
Transcript
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we'll start with this so my boyfriend and i both work the day shift so we're both home after 6 p.m
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we have our days off set up okay first of all she started a sentence with the word so so she's
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already an a-hole it's another thing i hate i'm in a really bad mood right now i've realized
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so i'm just everyone's an a-hole this time we have our days off set up that he is off saturdays and
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sundays and i'm off sundays and mondays we each get one day off to ourselves to just be alone and do
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our thing and then one day off together to do whatever we want as well my boyfriend and i have
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fairly different hobbies he's really into fitness and working out and always being active i'm a
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strong gamer and i don't care about any of this who cares what is your complaint lady so he stayed
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up stupid late last night and called into work this morning nine times out of ten i wouldn't care but
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it's monday it's my only day to myself and he's constantly bugging me to go to work out with him
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or go on a hike or generally to just be active because he's bored oh god forbid he's trying to
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help you help you be a fit and healthy person he doesn't want you to to die of heart disease god
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forbid yeah my boyfriend is so annoying he wants me to do things like stand up my boyfriend wants me to
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walk outside encounter the sun every every once in a while again nine times out of ten wouldn't
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matter and i'd spend a few days doing whatever he wanted i need this day to just be quiet and dark
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and me time i'm 100 on the opposite end of a social person i just want my one day to be alone to
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recuperate for the week i look forward to this one day the entire week i'm definitely annoyed and
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definitely showing it even though i'm trying not to i've tried explaining this i've tried being nice
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and just telling him that i need some me time and he's just not listening i pretty much snapped and
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told him to just leave me the f alone for a bit and now he's sulking in the living room
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am i the a-hole okay then there's even more information that we don't need so you got into
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a fight with your boyfriend and he sulked off and you immediately went on your phone to reddit
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now reddit says that this woman is not the a-hole and reddit is wrong this time and not for the
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first time but you're definitely the a-hole for a few reasons first of all why are you playing house
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why are you playing marriage you know by living together if you don't even want to be around each other
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so you can't stand to be around the guy for more than one day of the week but you're living with
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him this is not working out okay you guys need to break up just break up take my voice go live on
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your own or you don't want to live on your own because you don't want to pay for it right that's
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that's probably it so you want the boyfriend there to help you pay for the rent or maybe pay
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they'll pay all the rent i don't know but you don't want to actually be around him what you're
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looking for is welfare okay go live on your own and get and get on welfare don't give me this
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oh i need i need space i need me time i need i need to relax i need to you're just dating someone
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you have no kids you know you work a nine-to-five job you have off on the weekends and you're
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complaining about how you need space and time i really need my break what for what like you live
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some kind of stressful life it's the only workout that many people get is just complaining about how
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stuff so stressed in my life i'm so stressed i cannot even conceive of having an existence as easy
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as you and you're still whining is there anyone who's not an a-hole i think i'm just the a-hole
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this time am i the a-hole for not wanting the clock in the car to be five minutes fast my wife
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has always kept the clock in her car five minutes fast ahead of the actual time i tried this technique
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in the past but found it wouldn't work for me we each have our own car along with a shared car that
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the whole family uses it was driving me nuts that nuts that i'd look at the clock remember it's not
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right then i have to check my watch to see the actual time and then it goes on for another 50
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paragraphs but that's basically the thing uh should they have the clock set ahead in their car uh no
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you're not the a-hole for not wanting the clock set ahead the setting the clocks ahead thing
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is absurd because when you do that you just end up doing the math in your head anyway so i don't
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understand the strategy you're not actually fooling yourself into thinking the time is different than
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it actually is so you're giving yourself a math assignment every time you get in the car
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me and my wife had a baby seven months ago my parents came to us for thanksgiving dinner this
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year my wife made a great spread as we were about to eat the baby started fussing he has been teething
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i told my wife she should go attend to him but she asked if i could because she hadn't eaten all day
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because she was trying to care for the baby cook everything and try to visit with my parents and
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she would really like a warm meal instead and uh it had been a while since she'd had one i said it'd
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be really rude to my parents to sit down without me since in my family the hosting family member was
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always at the table with the guests my wife asked me again to please go but i was annoyed and said no
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i could tell my wife was irritated but she went to our baby i was thinking we'd wait for her to return
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but my dad said he was starving and everything looked fantastic so i told them to dig in my wife
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seemed to be having a hard time getting our son to settle down but she's always had the magic touch
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when it comes to him so i left her to it that was very nice of you by the time he was content and
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quiet again we'd finished and we had moved into the other room i had left everything on the table and
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when i went back around she was feeding the baby i said she should probably clean up once she was done
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and she really coldly asked when exactly she was supposed to eat i was taken by surprise and asked
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what she was on about and she told me that she hadn't eaten anything and i had left a mess instead
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of at least taking the used dishes to the sink and she she knew it was too much to think i'd actually
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be bothered to make her a plate too i got irritated and told her that she was being dramatic that we
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were hosting and i thought it was more important to spend time with my parents she said that uh i was
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the one who invited my parents over but i left her to do everything i said that wasn't true but she asked
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me to name just one thing i'd done to help her i was put on the spot and i couldn't think of something
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so she said exactly i got pretty angry but my mom came in then and asked if she could feed the baby
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my god are you still talking my wife said yes then started making herself a plate so she could eat
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my mom was upset with me when she realized that my wife still hadn't eaten okay first of all before
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your wife ate did you make sure that she had cleaned the bathroom because it's not it's not fair to
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leave in messy bathroom when their guests over no i you know i i'm actually concerned that um as a as
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a five-year-old you're probably way too young to be married i mean i believe in early marriage but
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that's too far i think even for me i can only assume that you're five and have been married for
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five minutes based on your behavior as you describe it you know you know what you are actually you you
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you're like kevin james or ray romano from a 90s like a 90s sitcom you know you did literally
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everything wrong every step of the way he's an a**hole you're so wrong and outlandishly a**hole-ish
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that i'm not sure if i even believe that this is real but then the whole bit breaks down if it's
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not real so we'll just charge ahead and pretend that it is