Who's The Biggest A-Hole？ Episode 9
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
205.16731
Summary
When you're too fat to ride a horse, that's a wake-up call. And when you're not allowed to acknowledge uncomfortable realities about other people, or about yourself, you're under no obligation to play along with them.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Am I the a-hole for explaining to my friend that horses do have weight limits?
00:00:25.460
We have six-quarter horses that normally weigh 900 to 1,200 pounds.
00:00:36.700
The safe and comfortable weight to be carried in these horses is no more than 250 pounds.
00:00:40.820
I'm obese right now, and I'm currently on a weight loss journey myself, so I do not ride these horses myself because I know that I exceed the weight that's comfortable for them.
00:00:48.940
A few days ago, my friend Carly came over to the ranch to help out.
00:00:52.580
She asked if she could ride one of these horses.
00:00:56.480
She's also on a weight loss journey, and I explained to her that horses have a weight limit, and that's why I don't ride them either.
00:01:04.720
She texted me later saying I was an a-hole for calling her fat.
00:01:11.720
When you're too fat to ride a horse, that's a wake-up call.
00:01:18.940
And it goes to show, by the way, that morbid obesity is a modern invention.
00:01:23.300
This is something that we invented in modern times.
00:01:27.000
It just almost nowhere in the world could you find it for most of human history.
00:01:31.160
Because if you were morbidly obese in the 1800s, you'd have to walk the Oregon Trail.
00:01:37.300
Now, are you the a-hole for preventing your obese friend from turning your horse into a horse pancake?
00:01:47.760
I'm not much of an animal rights guy, but I absolutely believe that preventing spinal injuries to your horse is more important than protecting your friend's feelings.
00:01:57.240
But your friend is infected with his modern attitude, which says that you're not allowed to acknowledge uncomfortable realities about other people or about yourself, even if your refusal to acknowledge those realities could do real damage to both man and beast.
00:02:11.220
You're under no obligation to play along with that game, though, and ignore reality.
00:02:14.720
So your friend is the a-hole for trying to make you play that game.
00:02:27.240
Am I the a-hole for Venmo requesting money from a Tinder date after he crapped in my car?
00:02:36.280
A couple weeks ago, I, 19-year-old female, went on a Tinder date with a guy who I knew from high school.
00:02:42.000
We were mutual acquaintances before this, and when we matched on Tinder, we agreed to meet up.
00:02:46.620
Picked him up at 7, and we went and got some food.
00:02:49.320
After that, we drove to some secluded place so we could talk with extra privacy, leave it up to the imagination.
00:02:55.420
Anyway, around 10.30, he starts to complain about his stomach hurting.
00:02:58.640
I asked him if he wants to leave, and he says no, and kind of blows it off for a little bit.
00:03:02.560
Around 11, he says he really needs to use the bathroom.
00:03:04.860
I wasn't sure what to do because we were in a very secluded area, and I wasn't familiar with.
00:03:09.020
He tells me that there's a gas station about 15 minutes away from us and asks me to step on it.
00:03:13.500
I leave and drive as fast as I can, but it's very dark.
00:03:17.860
He's becoming more frantic, visibly sweating, breathing heavy.
00:03:21.440
At one point, I ask if I should pull over because going in the woods is better than nothing.
00:03:26.840
Unfortunately, he misses telling me to take a turn somewhere, and we get lost.
00:03:31.200
I have to turn around, and it's probably like 10 more minutes, according to him.
00:03:34.920
Then he gets very pale and yells at me to pull over, and I stop as fast as I can.
00:03:50.800
I really wasn't sure what to say to make him feel better.
00:03:55.620
And I was also feeling a little sick from the whole thing.
00:03:59.860
Thank you for clarifying that because I wouldn't have known.
00:04:02.040
Eventually, I just offered to take him home and tried to act nonchalant.
00:04:05.480
Try to act nonchalant while this guy is sitting in his own shit, you know?
00:04:12.120
He also tells me that he will reimburse me for getting my car cleaned.
00:04:15.120
I felt bad because, of course, it wasn't his fault.
00:04:16.940
Well, accidents happen, so I offered to split the cost 50-50, and we never talk about it again.
00:04:22.460
I also told him if he wants, I'd like to try a second date.
00:04:29.000
You are either very forgiving or have very low standards or both.
00:04:33.660
Since this one turned out not so well, he thanked me and we parted ways.
00:04:37.320
I got my car detailed and sent him a text letting him know everything went well, but I didn't get a response.
00:04:42.680
I waited for another week and tried texting him again, like, hey, did you see my text?
00:04:47.860
I went on Tinder to try and message him there, but I saw he had unmatched me.
00:04:53.320
I was pretty pissed, not going to lie, because I thought I was chill about the whole situation.
00:04:57.240
It's cool if he didn't want to see me again, but he could have still kept up his end of the deal.
00:05:01.920
I went looking for his Instagram to try and message him there, and when I find I see he had his Venmo in his bio,
00:05:08.920
In the description, I put the poop emoji, the pointed finger, and my car.
00:05:13.880
Communicating now in hieroglyphics, you know, because regular communication hasn't worked.
00:05:19.580
He sends the money, but he also texts me pissed because he said his friends would be able to see what I put
00:05:27.440
I told him I wouldn't have done that if he hadn't ghosted me.
00:05:33.960
You know, first of all, this is what you get for having the girl drive.
00:05:42.400
It's one of the many reasons why you as the man should be taking control of the situation.
00:05:46.460
If you are the one who's driving, then you would have more control of the situation.
00:05:52.580
But beyond that, you know, I'm not really sure.
00:05:57.560
I mean, there's definitely one a**hole in the story, a very active one.
00:06:02.280
But beyond that particular a**hole, I mean, I can't blame you for not wanting to have to foot the bill
00:06:11.320
But at the same time, I can't really blame the other guy for hiding away in shame.
00:06:16.340
It's hard for me to blame him for that part of it.
00:06:22.300
I mean, you texted him and said everything, you texted him and said, after you got the car cleaned,
00:06:29.180
Went well with cleaning his s**t from your upholstery.
00:06:48.960
This is why, you know, I'm so glad that I'm married.
00:06:55.980
Also, because if you're married and you're in that situation, and we've all been in situations
00:07:01.540
like that, when you're in the car, there's a little bit of a bathroom emergency.
00:07:05.100
But if you're married, now you can have an honest conversation in a situation like that.
00:07:12.560
And you just met this person or you're going to your first date, you don't want to be honest
00:07:17.520
But when you're married, you'll just say, listen, I'm going to s**t in my pants if you
00:07:28.780
He is the guy who's s**t in your car after all.
00:07:37.420
All right, finally, am I the a**hole for calling the police on my fiance?
00:07:41.380
My fiance, 28 male, and I, 30 female, have been together for three years.
00:07:45.960
I used to live close to work and use public transportation, but after I moved in to his
00:07:49.620
house, which is hours away from work, I bought myself a car since I'm a nurse, and also since
00:07:53.680
there isn't any hospitals close to where we live that I could transfer to.
00:07:56.820
You know, one thing about these things is that all of these people are a**holes for giving
00:08:08.780
My fiance's car hasn't been able to work for close to two months now.
00:08:11.880
It requires so much money to get it fixed, and he refused my financial help when I
00:08:16.700
Instead, he would ask to use my car every now and then, and I agreed as long as it's
00:08:20.300
when I'm not working, and also since he only uses it for trips to the supermarket, etc.
00:08:25.160
On New Year's Eve, he told me he wanted to use my car to go hang out with his friends
00:08:28.340
and celebrate, but I declined because I had to cover a night shift and needed my car to
00:08:33.220
He insisted and even suggested that I take the night off or swap shifts with another nurse,
00:08:40.680
So, fast forwarding, she doesn't want to give the car up, and he decides to take it
00:08:45.340
anyway without asking her, and he drives off to go to his New Year's party.
00:08:49.500
She tries to call him and can't get a hold of him, and then finally does talk to him 30
00:08:54.460
minutes later, and she's pissed, so she calls the cops to report him from stealing the car.
00:09:01.440
And he also says that he can take the car, and she shouldn't have called the police because
00:09:08.100
they're engaged, and so he says, what's yours is mine.
00:09:23.300
That's probably farther than I would have taken it, but I think it's justified.
00:09:28.980
No, it's not true that as an engaged couple, what's yours is mine.
00:09:37.940
So you don't get to take advantage of that before the marriage even happens.
00:09:42.060
There isn't like this grace period ahead of time.
00:09:55.100
And if your spouse calls the police on you for taking the family car, even if they don't
00:10:00.060
agree with what you're doing with it, then that's a different story.
00:10:07.720
And then you can steal your spouse's car all you want.