The Matt Walsh Show - April 11, 2023


Who's The Biggest A-Hole？ Episode 9

Topics
weight limits and obesity in horses
Hosted by
Matt Walsh
Mentioned
Venmo
Ep. 1146 - Now We Know What Really Happened To Bud Light Ep. 1147 - Why All Of The Left’s Heroes Are Cosplaying Phonies

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

205.17

Word count

2,197

Sentence count

199

Harmful content

Misogyny

5

sentences flagged

Toxicity

46

sentences flagged

Hate speech

3

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

When you're too fat to ride a horse, that's a wake-up call. And when you're not allowed to acknowledge uncomfortable realities about other people, or about yourself, you're under no obligation to play along with them.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Am I the a-hole for explaining to my friend that horses do have weight limits?
00:00:21.080 It sounds like a good one already.
00:00:23.000 I live and work on my parents' horse ranch.
00:00:25.460 We have six-quarter horses that normally weigh 900 to 1,200 pounds.
00:00:36.700 The safe and comfortable weight to be carried in these horses is no more than 250 pounds.
00:00:40.820 I'm obese right now, and I'm currently on a weight loss journey myself, so I do not ride these horses myself because I know that I exceed the weight that's comfortable for them.
00:00:48.940 A few days ago, my friend Carly came over to the ranch to help out.
00:00:52.580 She asked if she could ride one of these horses.
00:00:55.120 Carly weighs more than I do. 0.81
00:00:56.480 She's also on a weight loss journey, and I explained to her that horses have a weight limit, and that's why I don't ride them either.
00:01:02.860 She got very quiet and then left.
00:01:04.720 She texted me later saying I was an a-hole for calling her fat. 1.00
00:01:08.560 Am I the a-hole? 0.98
00:01:09.540 Well, it's definitely a wake-up call.
00:01:11.720 When you're too fat to ride a horse, that's a wake-up call.
00:01:15.700 I see you got a weight from.
00:01:17.720 Can't wait to eat.
00:01:18.940 And it goes to show, by the way, that morbid obesity is a modern invention.
00:01:23.300 This is something that we invented in modern times.
00:01:25.040 It didn't exist before.
00:01:26.020 Like, it just didn't exist.
00:01:27.000 It just almost nowhere in the world could you find it for most of human history.
00:01:31.160 Because if you were morbidly obese in the 1800s, you'd have to walk the Oregon Trail.
00:01:35.440 And it'd probably be good for you if you did.
00:01:36.600 You wouldn't lose some weight.
00:01:37.300 Now, are you the a-hole for preventing your obese friend from turning your horse into a horse pancake?
00:01:44.180 Not at all.
00:01:47.760 I'm not much of an animal rights guy, but I absolutely believe that preventing spinal injuries to your horse is more important than protecting your friend's feelings.
00:01:57.240 But your friend is infected with his modern attitude, which says that you're not allowed to acknowledge uncomfortable realities about other people or about yourself, even if your refusal to acknowledge those realities could do real damage to both man and beast.
00:02:11.220 You're under no obligation to play along with that game, though, and ignore reality.
00:02:14.720 So your friend is the a-hole for trying to make you play that game.
00:02:18.760 You call your friend an a-hole this instant!
00:02:27.240 Am I the a-hole for Venmo requesting money from a Tinder date after he crapped in my car?
00:02:33.780 All right.
00:02:34.540 Now we're getting into the nitty-gritty here.
00:02:36.280 A couple weeks ago, I, 19-year-old female, went on a Tinder date with a guy who I knew from high school.
00:02:42.000 We were mutual acquaintances before this, and when we matched on Tinder, we agreed to meet up.
00:02:46.620 Picked him up at 7, and we went and got some food.
00:02:49.320 After that, we drove to some secluded place so we could talk with extra privacy, leave it up to the imagination.
00:02:55.420 Anyway, around 10.30, he starts to complain about his stomach hurting.
00:02:58.640 I asked him if he wants to leave, and he says no, and kind of blows it off for a little bit.
00:03:02.560 Around 11, he says he really needs to use the bathroom.
00:03:04.860 I wasn't sure what to do because we were in a very secluded area, and I wasn't familiar with.
00:03:09.020 He tells me that there's a gas station about 15 minutes away from us and asks me to step on it.
00:03:13.500 I leave and drive as fast as I can, but it's very dark.
00:03:16.820 I don't know my way around it.
00:03:17.860 He's becoming more frantic, visibly sweating, breathing heavy.
00:03:21.440 At one point, I ask if I should pull over because going in the woods is better than nothing.
00:03:24.960 But he swears he could make it.
00:03:26.840 Unfortunately, he misses telling me to take a turn somewhere, and we get lost.
00:03:31.200 I have to turn around, and it's probably like 10 more minutes, according to him.
00:03:34.920 Then he gets very pale and yells at me to pull over, and I stop as fast as I can.
00:03:38.560 But when I do, he doesn't get out of the car.
00:03:40.480 He just sits very resigned.
00:03:43.600 At that point, I understood it was too late.
00:03:46.140 I came to understand it was too late.
00:03:47.680 I wonder how you understood that.
00:03:48.960 We both sat there in silence for a little bit.
00:03:50.800 I really wasn't sure what to say to make him feel better.
00:03:53.960 Oh, man, this is a nightmare.
00:03:55.620 And I was also feeling a little sick from the whole thing.
00:03:58.300 Parentheses, the smell.
00:03:59.860 Thank you for clarifying that because I wouldn't have known.
00:04:02.040 Eventually, I just offered to take him home and tried to act nonchalant. 0.98
00:04:05.480 Try to act nonchalant while this guy is sitting in his own shit, you know? 0.99
00:04:08.940 Just be cool about it. 0.99
00:04:10.820 He agreed, so I drove us home.
00:04:12.120 He also tells me that he will reimburse me for getting my car cleaned.
00:04:15.120 I felt bad because, of course, it wasn't his fault.
00:04:16.940 Well, accidents happen, so I offered to split the cost 50-50, and we never talk about it again.
00:04:22.460 I also told him if he wants, I'd like to try a second date.
00:04:27.420 Wow.
00:04:29.000 You are either very forgiving or have very low standards or both.
00:04:33.660 Since this one turned out not so well, he thanked me and we parted ways.
00:04:37.320 I got my car detailed and sent him a text letting him know everything went well, but I didn't get a response.
00:04:42.680 I waited for another week and tried texting him again, like, hey, did you see my text?
00:04:46.520 And again, he didn't respond.
00:04:47.860 I went on Tinder to try and message him there, but I saw he had unmatched me.
00:04:51.260 It was pretty clear that he had ghosted me.
00:04:53.320 I was pretty pissed, not going to lie, because I thought I was chill about the whole situation.
00:04:57.240 It's cool if he didn't want to see me again, but he could have still kept up his end of the deal.
00:05:01.920 I went looking for his Instagram to try and message him there, and when I find I see he had his Venmo in his bio,
00:05:07.520 I decided to Venmo request.
00:05:08.920 In the description, I put the poop emoji, the pointed finger, and my car.
00:05:13.880 Communicating now in hieroglyphics, you know, because regular communication hasn't worked.
00:05:18.160 Surprisingly, I get a quick response.
00:05:19.580 He sends the money, but he also texts me pissed because he said his friends would be able to see what I put
00:05:24.660 and would probably put two and two together.
00:05:27.440 I told him I wouldn't have done that if he hadn't ghosted me. 0.98
00:05:29.560 Am I the a**hole? 0.97
00:05:30.140 Okay, well, that was a story. 0.95
00:05:33.960 You know, first of all, this is what you get for having the girl drive. 1.00
00:05:41.080 Thanks, a**hole! 0.97
00:05:42.400 It's one of the many reasons why you as the man should be taking control of the situation. 0.95
00:05:46.460 If you are the one who's driving, then you would have more control of the situation.
00:05:50.620 This probably wouldn't have happened.
00:05:52.580 But beyond that, you know, I'm not really sure.
00:05:54.620 I'm kind of torn on this.
00:05:56.540 Who's the a**hole in the story?
00:05:57.560 I mean, there's definitely one a**hole in the story, a very active one. 1.00
00:06:01.240 You're a sick a**hole. 0.99
00:06:02.280 But beyond that particular a**hole, I mean, I can't blame you for not wanting to have to foot the bill 1.00
00:06:09.040 to clean the s**t stains in your car. 0.96
00:06:11.320 But at the same time, I can't really blame the other guy for hiding away in shame. 0.68
00:06:16.340 It's hard for me to blame him for that part of it.
00:06:20.140 What else are you going to do?
00:06:22.300 I mean, you texted him and said everything, you texted him and said, after you got the car cleaned,
00:06:26.120 you texted him and said, everything went well. 0.60
00:06:29.180 Went well with cleaning his s**t from your upholstery.
00:06:32.580 How do you even respond to that as the guy? 1.00
00:06:35.240 You insensitive a**hole. 0.99
00:06:36.960 What's he supposed to say? 1.00
00:06:38.820 Thumbs up emoji, smiley face.
00:06:40.840 Cool. 0.94
00:06:41.980 Congrats on cleaning up my s**t. 0.92
00:06:45.000 So there's no good answer here. 0.96
00:06:46.540 But this is also, here's another thing.
00:06:48.960 This is why, you know, I'm so glad that I'm married.
00:06:52.420 So that I can s**t in my car without judgment.
00:06:55.980 Also, because if you're married and you're in that situation, and we've all been in situations
00:07:01.540 like that, when you're in the car, there's a little bit of a bathroom emergency.
00:07:05.100 But if you're married, now you can have an honest conversation in a situation like that.
00:07:10.240 You could just say, when you're dating, right?
00:07:12.560 And you just met this person or you're going to your first date, you don't want to be honest
00:07:15.460 about it.
00:07:15.920 And so that's when the crisis starts. 0.98
00:07:17.520 But when you're married, you'll just say, listen, I'm going to s**t in my pants if you 0.99
00:07:20.580 don't find me a bathroom within five minutes. 0.96
00:07:24.400 All right. 0.98
00:07:25.300 So who's the a**hole? 0.99
00:07:26.320 You know, I guess it's got to be him. 0.99
00:07:28.780 He is the guy who's s**t in your car after all. 0.98
00:07:37.420 All right, finally, am I the a**hole for calling the police on my fiance? 0.97
00:07:41.380 My fiance, 28 male, and I, 30 female, have been together for three years.
00:07:45.960 I used to live close to work and use public transportation, but after I moved in to his
00:07:49.620 house, which is hours away from work, I bought myself a car since I'm a nurse, and also since
00:07:53.680 there isn't any hospitals close to where we live that I could transfer to.
00:07:56.820 You know, one thing about these things is that all of these people are a**holes for giving
00:08:02.140 way too much information. 0.76
00:08:03.340 We don't need any of this background. 0.96
00:08:04.860 Still going, this a**hole. 0.75
00:08:06.540 Let's just get to the story, please. 0.88
00:08:08.780 My fiance's car hasn't been able to work for close to two months now.
00:08:11.880 It requires so much money to get it fixed, and he refused my financial help when I
00:08:15.840 offered it.
00:08:16.700 Instead, he would ask to use my car every now and then, and I agreed as long as it's
00:08:20.300 when I'm not working, and also since he only uses it for trips to the supermarket, etc.
00:08:25.160 On New Year's Eve, he told me he wanted to use my car to go hang out with his friends
00:08:28.340 and celebrate, but I declined because I had to cover a night shift and needed my car to
00:08:32.280 travel to work.
00:08:33.220 He insisted and even suggested that I take the night off or swap shifts with another nurse,
00:08:37.540 but I couldn't do that at the last minute.
00:08:39.360 Oh my gosh.
00:08:39.900 Okay, blah, blah, blah.
00:08:40.680 So, fast forwarding, she doesn't want to give the car up, and he decides to take it
00:08:45.340 anyway without asking her, and he drives off to go to his New Year's party.
00:08:49.500 She tries to call him and can't get a hold of him, and then finally does talk to him 30
00:08:54.460 minutes later, and she's pissed, so she calls the cops to report him from stealing the car.
00:08:58.080 Okay, and now he's mad. 0.99
00:09:00.340 Are you the a**hole for that? 0.98
00:09:01.440 And he also says that he can take the car, and she shouldn't have called the police because 0.97
00:09:08.100 they're engaged, and so he says, what's yours is mine.
00:09:12.200 What's mine is yours. 0.97
00:09:14.300 Who's the a**hole? 0.99
00:09:15.060 Well, he's obviously the a**hole. 1.00
00:09:16.360 You a**hole! 1.00
00:09:17.920 He did steal the car. 1.00
00:09:19.060 You told him not to.
00:09:19.940 You asked him to bring it back.
00:09:20.900 He didn't bring it back.
00:09:21.680 You called the police.
00:09:23.300 That's probably farther than I would have taken it, but I think it's justified.
00:09:26.320 But here's the main point.
00:09:28.980 No, it's not true that as an engaged couple, what's yours is mine.
00:09:34.280 What's mine is yours.
00:09:34.900 That's not true.
00:09:35.880 That's marriage. 0.92
00:09:37.940 So you don't get to take advantage of that before the marriage even happens.
00:09:42.060 There isn't like this grace period ahead of time.
00:09:45.340 That's in marriage.
00:09:46.900 That's, again, the point of marriage.
00:09:49.180 Now you share everything.
00:09:52.380 And then if you take, now it's the family car.
00:09:55.100 And if your spouse calls the police on you for taking the family car, even if they don't
00:10:00.060 agree with what you're doing with it, then that's a different story.
00:10:03.640 So get married is the moral of the story.
00:10:07.720 And then you can steal your spouse's car all you want. 0.97
00:10:11.240 And even s**t in it if you want. 0.97
00:10:13.220 I'm the winner. 0.74
00:10:16.340 You're the star.
00:10:17.620 And then you'll come.
00:10:20.180 You're the star.
00:10:22.080 And then you'll see.
00:10:22.440 So, when you're two birth defects.
00:10:23.400 And then you're the star.
00:10:23.900 And then you're the star.
00:10:24.520 Well, you're the star.
00:10:24.820 And you're the star.
00:10:25.580 And then you'll see.
00:10:26.080 So hopefully want.
00:10:26.600 And then you release.
00:10:26.780 So hopefully.
00:10:27.560 And then you'll see you next time.
00:10:28.620 You're going to be your someone.
00:10:29.200 Bye-bye.
00:10:30.280 And then you can't.
00:10:30.560 You're the star.
00:10:31.060 And you're loved.
00:10:31.360 And then you're the star.
00:10:32.260 And you'll see you next time.
00:10:32.980 And we'rekat.
00:10:33.320 You're the star.
00:10:34.180 And you're the star.
00:10:34.420 And it's the star.
00:10:36.660 14 luôn.
00:10:36.900 And it's the star.
00:10:38.420 And now I'm the star.
00:10:40.500 You're the star.