The Megyn Kelly Show - Andrew Schulz and Bill Maher - Megyn Kelly's ＂Double Feature＂ of Fascinating Interviews

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00:00:30.000 all right full-time thoughts craig who stood out brazil's lime cheesecake started bright didn't

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00:00:58.680 footy prime daily. Welcome to The Megyn Kelly Show, live on Sirius XM channel 111 every weekday

00:01:05.200 at New East. Hey, everyone, I'm Megyn Kelly, and welcome to our Sunday double feature mega episode.

00:01:18.140 Today, two conversations with two comedians that brought the whole range of emotions.

00:01:22.520 First up, I adore Andrew Schultz. He is so funny. Just thinking about our exchanges makes me laugh.

00:01:30.720 He's brilliant. He came here to the Red Studio last year. He's been on many times since the

00:01:35.320 beginning of our show. But this was a hilarious exchange where he really opened up about becoming

00:01:40.440 a dad and wrestling with the challenges of IVF. It was so funny. You are going to adore this

00:01:46.640 exchange. Bill Maher is our second up today. Bill and I have talked throughout the years on this

00:01:52.040 show and on his. But in 2024, he came by for an interview at SiriusXM HQ in New York that was at

00:01:58.040 times funny and at times feisty. Let's just say he was totally unprepared. And well, you be the

00:02:07.760 judge of how it went. Enjoy today's double feature and see you tomorrow. Oh, do we have a treat for

00:02:14.700 you today. Buckle up. One of the funniest people in America is with me for the full show right here 0.96

00:02:20.280 in studio. Comedian Andrew Schultz has a new Netflix special out this week called Life. If

00:02:26.860 you go on Netflix, it's one of the top shows right now. You can't miss it and you shouldn't

00:02:30.560 miss it. It's only an hour. You will laugh and believe it or not, you will cry too. It's actually

00:02:36.960 very touching. At times, I did not expect that. And I was just saying to him before we got started,

00:02:43.940 I watched it the same way I watch all Andrew Schultz content like this. Oh, I'm afraid.

00:02:50.280 And I love it.

00:02:51.780 I hate myself for loving it so much.

00:02:55.340 The whole thing is actually deeply personal,

00:02:57.880 and his pal Matt Damon helped him announce it.

00:03:02.200 Watch this.

00:03:04.800 Schultzy, Schultzy, Schultzy, Schultzy.

00:03:06.640 Matthew.

00:03:07.340 Hey, cute baby.

00:03:08.840 I didn't get the Amber Alert.

00:03:10.740 We are celebrating.

00:03:12.780 My new special's coming out.

00:03:14.460 Oh, nice.

00:03:15.300 Yeah.

00:03:15.500 What do you, stand up there and grow a mustache?

00:03:17.820 Actually, if you want to know, it's about my wife and I trying to make a baby. 0.99

00:03:21.160 Hey, everybody, this dumbass right here has a special about his low sperm count, and it's on Netflix. 0.98

00:03:32.120 That's a legend, dude. 0.99

00:03:33.560 Welcome back.

00:03:34.380 Thank you so much for having me.

00:03:35.400 Great to have you.

00:03:36.320 It's great to see you.

00:03:37.160 Oh, God, likewise.

00:03:38.080 I mean, you were actually one of my first guests.

00:03:39.440 You know, we just celebrated episode 500 or 1,000, I don't know, 1,000.

00:03:43.120 And you were 78, number 78.

00:03:45.700 you were like on the ground floor yeah yeah i remember i was in california for that but then

00:03:50.200 i saw you this is like right after i saw you at the borgo yes that's right yeah but i didn't come

00:03:56.420 up and bother you know that's right that's i forgot that yeah and now look at you i mean now

00:04:01.240 your career is just taken off no things have been cool things yeah really cool and personally i mean

00:04:06.700 the funniest bit you ever did and it's still one of my favorites this is from a special not like

00:04:11.400 on this show, but you were talking about your then girlfriend and how obsessed she was with

00:04:16.120 crime shows. I can totally relate to this. And how I remember you did this bit on how, you know,

00:04:21.040 you'd watch NFL football with her and she'd be like, and some guy would have a compound fracture

00:04:25.500 with the blood everywhere in the bone. And every guy, you know, be like, oh my God. And she'd be

00:04:29.280 like, when is someone coming to murder him? Yeah. Yeah. It's like not savage enough. Yeah.

00:04:34.640 Why do you guys like the serial killer stuff? I have my own theories. I think it's because like

00:04:39.540 when you grow up you know who gets murdered who gets attacked who gets stolen young women yeah

00:04:45.440 we're the victims and so like it's instilled in you from an early age by your parents by your

00:04:50.320 friends by your teachers by tv the news like you're the victim like and so you know you walk

00:04:56.220 around everywhere like oh my god and then you there's a morbid fascination with what happens

00:04:59.880 to others like how do i prevent that from happening to me yeah i think that's why so yeah it's fear

00:05:04.840 based so this is like this yeah gigantic fear you have yeah we're working something out yeah you

00:05:09.260 You know, it's like the same way my 11-year-old likes to watch shark videos all the time.

00:05:12.600 Because he thinks he's going to get eaten by a shark.

00:05:14.460 Totally.

00:05:15.200 And meanwhile.

00:05:16.440 So what is our fear?

00:05:17.560 What is our, you know what?

00:05:21.840 Are men just not afraid of anything?

00:05:23.360 I'm embarrassed to tell you that I've been dreaming lately about the AM update that we've been doing as a new pod that we've launched in our feed.

00:05:29.460 It's very embarrassing.

00:05:30.620 My dreams are about news now.

00:05:32.140 Okay.

00:05:32.560 Because I do it either really late or early morning and it's just on my mind.

00:05:36.800 You shouldn't dream about news.

00:05:38.380 That's just sad.

00:05:39.040 yeah right that's well this is your passion yeah this is what you dedicate your life to you see

00:05:43.180 but i could relate to didn't you say did i hear this in the special that you were saying your

00:05:46.620 girlfriend always dreams about you cheating on her oh yeah my wife yeah she dreams about me

00:05:50.560 cheating on her yeah yeah so i've had that dream with doug too and if i have that dream the next 0.95

00:05:53.900 day i am such a bitch to him right it is it is funny that you punish us for it right but yeah 0.89

00:06:00.080 yeah that was what i was saying i think in the special it's like why can't i have those dreams 0.86

00:06:03.440 it's almost like you're like go go through it walking through it yeah i was like i'd like to

00:06:07.000 know exactly but yeah it was it's almost as like you know god shot like the dream arrow and like

00:06:12.160 it was just like a degree off you know he was supposed to put that in my brain yeah exactly

00:06:17.640 it was weird i don't really have dreams where where i'm cheating on her or where she's cheating

00:06:23.780 on you i think i might have had something and i woke up upset i think it's like this is my sexism

00:06:29.400 coming out but like when a when a woman cheats like even in like a movie like my my thought is 0.95

00:06:38.000 like who wrote this yeah this is twisted shit like like if i watch a serial killer thing i'm 0.91

00:06:45.440 like okay this is what it is but if i see like a woman being unfaithful in something i'm like 1.00

00:06:50.440 there is a diabolical madman out there writing this shit like we need to like lock him up like 0.99

00:06:56.220 why would you promote this we're lost as a society i've become this like really conservative 1.00

00:07:00.340 christian like i'm just like what is the american foundation and nuclear families being destroyed

00:07:05.620 oh god look at me getting all you're getting really excited worked up about it yeah i know

00:07:09.700 i mean i my girlfriends and i have had this talks this talk many times like would you leave would

00:07:14.460 you definitely leave your husband or your boyfriend if you found out he was cheating yeah and then of

00:07:18.760 course you get into well is it a one-off or is it like a full-blown blown affair with somebody else

00:07:23.580 yeah yeah yeah and honestly most of the women i know have the same answer to both which is no i

00:07:28.260 would not leave isn't that but also they have children right yeah that changes the entire

00:07:32.240 game yeah it it's also like oh but yeah this is good wait a minute so we can cheat is that

00:07:39.660 literally every friend of doug's right now is texting him hall pass no we're going to columbia

00:07:46.180 doug not not saying that oh let's see it's just you know like that's that's a oh you know you know

00:07:52.740 what i'm curious your take on this like i was talking to some some of the uh the women that

00:07:56.360 work with me and um you know there's this like this prominence in uh we're talking about

00:08:02.880 relationships now like talking about like red flags and ick culture have you heard about this 1.00

00:08:06.940 no i must be too old okay so like a lot of women talk about like red flags and icks they have with

00:08:11.960 men like little things that they do that annoy them okay and um it could be something like small

00:08:17.120 like if it's raining and a guy lifts his shoulders i don't like that it like really turns me off to

00:08:21.600 him that's tough exactly so and like they're really like nuanced and specific and i was like

00:08:26.800 what do you i was asking like what do you think that's about and um this is my suspicion i think

00:08:33.880 that like there's so much pressure for women to be with somebody that they maybe would rather be

00:08:40.300 with somebody they don't really like than be alone like their moms are constantly going hey you got

00:08:45.680 to get married you got to have someone and then you're with someone you don't like oh god and

00:08:50.140 when you're around someone you don't like everything about them annoys you no you can't

00:08:53.380 have that no and then you're gonna let them get on top of you never no never how could you but if

00:08:58.260 you really love someone like you said they can go to columbia with the boys it has an op the

00:09:02.540 opposite effect it's like nothing bothers me nothing at all it's all really cute yeah my it's

00:09:07.140 funny because i can't think of a thing about doug that bothers me like that and even after we just

00:09:10.720 celebrate our 17th man he's the man uh we just celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary on

00:09:16.240 saturday yeah and honestly like even after 17 years of marriage he doesn't do anything that

00:09:21.200 like grosses me out he's like i don't know i just find him very me neither he's not the dreamboat

00:09:26.640 this guy but he is very funny about not about me but other people that like his number one thing

00:09:32.160 that drives him nuts and his brother has it too and i think it's called mesothelioma not like the 0.89

00:09:38.120 lung disease you get disease you get but it's i may be saying it wrong it's like having sex with 0.96

00:09:42.800 dead people no it's where you can't stand the sound of somebody chewing ah it drives i was way

00:09:49.220 off insane yeah yeah mesothelioma is like the lung disease and this is mesothelioma i gotta i gotta

00:09:56.540 look it up but he doesn't like hearing people mesophonia thank you steve krakauer yeah mesophonia

00:10:01.100 right where you it drives you nuts if you can really hear somebody chewing chew yeah okay and

00:10:05.240 there's somebody in the extended family who's like every time you sit down with this person

00:10:08.620 they get a big bowl of raw carrots and start like dying it and both yeah brothers are like

00:10:14.740 yeah yeah we can't deal with this yeah doug yeah doug's got his idiosyncrasies which you

00:10:19.000 gotta put up with he does so are you a quiet chewer then i'm actually pretty quiet yeah good

00:10:23.260 yeah i'm really kind of proud of it yeah i have pretty good table manners that's you'll see this

00:10:27.020 with your new daughter i mean that's something with your kids that i have to like bestow manners

00:10:30.420 upon them you you can never let up that it's like they don't hear they don't listen you could tell

00:10:37.700 them 10 000 times and they still don't listen you don't go to the food the food comes to you yeah

00:10:44.300 you know like all the little things and still small bites small bites and still you see your

00:10:48.760 kid with like a mountain of food shoving it in there you're like oh i can't send you out into

00:10:53.380 the world like this my parents never taught me table manners they didn't never told me i learned

00:10:57.660 table manners from the titanic what you know you know this team where like the the leonardo di

00:11:02.160 happy with those she's like uh the the long go from outside in with the forks like that's literally

00:11:07.520 the moment i remember i had a girlfriend i was like in denmark with like her family and i was

00:11:11.840 like using my thumb to shovel salad onto a fork and the father like put his hand on my wrist and

00:11:17.560 was like please use the silverware no yeah oh the humiliation some viking i still have some 0.88

00:11:23.180 questions i have to say i never took you know any sort of manners classes though i would love to get

00:11:27.240 some for my kids if somebody offered that i would totally hire this what is that called

00:11:30.420 uh etiquette classes like class yeah yeah class yeah this is what they do down south right we're

00:11:37.120 raised like wolves that's why we don't have a lot of it i'm watching you whatever i see works

00:11:40.800 you know we ate out every meal or like had delivery yes so there wasn't exactly like this

00:11:45.460 big display i don't remember my parents ever correcting table manners you just it's something

00:11:49.300 i i picked up on later in life when i got to be more of a professional person yeah but i still

00:11:54.160 have questions like here's one question for the audience maybe they know maybe you know this

00:11:57.020 when you're eating soup do you go outside in or know that i know you're supposed to go

00:12:01.640 from the front to the back i know you're supposed to i don't do that from the front to the back it 0.85

00:12:05.380 is stupid but it's an extra motion like why would you move the food further away from you 0.99

00:12:09.300 this is this like pretentious like british shit where they're it's like really wealthy people 1.00

00:12:14.560 have to find a way to make you feel insecure about you not having money and then when everybody 0.99

00:12:19.300 started wearing suits it's like all right well we got to belittle them somehow oh if you see 0.98

00:12:23.080 somebody moving the spoon out then they really have money i hate this shit i i what i love about 0.98

00:12:28.660 america is the lack of rules in that regard yes like we're not trying to keep up with the joneses 0.97

00:12:32.580 well here's my question on it though in addition to those um what do you do with the soup spoon

00:12:37.240 when you are in the middle you want to put it down and or when you're done does it go

00:12:42.920 right back in the soup or does it go on the little i accidentally move it off the table and it falls

00:12:48.060 and i go oh god and then somebody gets that's not okay no it's either supposed to go right back in

00:12:51.960 the soup which is what i think you're supposed to do yeah or you're supposed to put it on the

00:12:54.900 plate like the saucer underneath the soup that plate that's holding the soup bowl yes yes yes

00:12:59.360 but one of them signifies to the waiter that you're finished and one signifies you're still

00:13:04.000 eating i with the soup that's true too i just made that up okay but it seems like it makes sense i

00:13:09.140 do know what to do on the plate when you want to signify you're done uh knife in between the fork

00:13:15.620 fork and knife at five o'clock yes like ones that well i guess 10 of five at 10 of five

00:13:23.060 so one's at the 10 and one's at the five on your plate yeah that i got yeah that's my one thing

00:13:28.460 isn't it crazy that we have to like speak in code to the waiters at the restaurant right

00:13:34.640 like yo yeah that works right i'm done yeah yeah nothing left on the plate are you a good tipper

00:13:41.100 Yeah.

00:13:41.780 Yeah.

00:13:42.260 Yeah.

00:13:42.540 I worked in the service industry.

00:13:43.900 That's the thing.

00:13:44.580 Yeah.

00:13:44.900 If you've ever done it, same.

00:13:46.880 Yeah.

00:13:47.140 I have to say, so I have like a-

00:13:48.380 What is a good tip for you?

00:13:49.260 Well, I always leave 50%.

00:13:50.780 What?

00:13:51.740 5-0.

00:13:52.420 Yeah.

00:13:53.160 I always leave 50.

00:13:54.460 But can I tell you something kind of surprising?

00:13:58.360 You think, is it good or it's bad?

00:14:00.620 It's good.

00:14:01.580 50%.

00:14:01.660 Yeah, it's a lot, right?

00:14:03.100 I mean, they're not the government.

00:14:05.760 Well, I always want to be overly generous to the waste.

00:14:08.860 I mean, wow. 1.00

00:14:09.920 that is i gotta tell you something it i never and i go women don't usually tip i just want to

00:14:15.040 point point that out oh that's not a big thing that one's important to me you that is you will

00:14:19.800 never read a report about me being a bad tipper i wow i'm not going 50 what do you go 50 i go like

00:14:28.200 25 or something like that you know i keep it round i got this from sean hannity who tips

00:14:33.780 100 percent he does yes oh wow i'm like that's too much no no that's guilt something's going on

00:14:40.420 something's going on he's a really generous guy he's harassing waitresses something's happening

00:14:45.400 where he's paying them off a hundred percent is guilt there's something wrong but i gotta be

00:14:50.300 honest with you this is he's taken no i mean sean is a great guy you're not doing this but you're

00:14:54.940 not at all where's my camera you're not at all doing this but i would tip 100 too if i was taking 0.76

00:14:59.700 my girlfriend to the fucking thing and i didn't want anybody to know about it but sean would never 0.86

00:15:03.340 do that and that's not the case not it listen he does not he does not need to stray he's with 0.97

00:15:08.180 Ainsley he's good well listen I was gonna say I would have I would kind of expect that when I go

00:15:14.620 back to these same restaurants and have the same waiter like maybe I'd get a little bit more white

00:15:19.120 glove treatment yeah I noticed absolutely no white glove treatment I don't I don't think it really

00:15:23.360 counts so I just have to feel good about it in my heart yeah which I do not the reason why we do it

00:15:27.800 I mean it would be nice if somebody was like thanks thanks for it but isn't it the worst when

00:15:32.260 you're like at the bar and you're like i'm gonna fucking tip the but this bartender big and you go

00:15:36.880 to put the money down and they walk away and now you gotta just stand there until they come back 0.92

00:15:40.960 and notice i need your recognition that i left that like this needs to be very clear you know

00:15:46.620 my 13 year old daughter just asked this question at the dinner table last night this is where it's

00:15:50.720 going for you um she said is any act of charity ever for the other person or is it all purely

00:15:59.540 or is it isn't it all selfish um i would like to believe that we are capable of of altruism but i

00:16:07.740 think that there are like percentages of selfishness for sure like if you're doing it to

00:16:11.000 get to heaven that seems pretty selfish yeah that's that's what she was saying and she was

00:16:14.180 saying even just to make yourself feel good there's an element of selfishness in it and then

00:16:17.280 my brother-in-law said what if you threw yourself on a grenade and she said no still you're doing it

00:16:22.960 like there's some piece of you that's doing it to feel good about saving somebody or you might be

00:16:26.580 like awarded the medal of honor if you're you know like there's something in there 13 very cynical

00:16:31.200 can i curse on this is that cool okay wow we couldn't have on andrew schultz if you could

00:16:38.460 not that's a good point that's a good point wow that is uh that is a sophisticated thought for a

00:16:43.040 13 year old i know has she watched everything everywhere all at once yes well she she watches

00:16:49.140 some of the dateline specials with me that's probably part of it though tonight she's got

00:16:52.960 that side where she's even philosophical and cynical in some ways but tonight she'll be starring

00:16:56.980 as ursula in the little mermaid at her school play did she pick ursula no she tried out for it yeah

00:17:01.580 so she wanted ursula yeah we gotta keep an eye on this girl right here we gotta keep a very close

00:17:06.700 watch on this girl this is because that it is i think that what she's what she's approaching is

00:17:11.820 like a very realistic way of looking at life you know which is a but sometimes having that view of

00:17:17.300 humanity can be difficult to handle yeah that's a really sophisticated view of it's very hard with

00:17:22.080 a with a mother who's in news and a father who is as cynical and funny as doug is yes it's just

00:17:27.280 there our kids have a very healthy sense of humor which you would appreciate but like very realistic

00:17:31.760 yeah you know yeah i'm trying to think like what is the like the positive impact of that is you can

00:17:36.060 have probably like really mature conversations with them yeah she's definitely ahead of her time

00:17:40.160 what is her school did it it's a private school it's all girls i will say it's more woke than i

00:17:46.060 would like but not as woke as the one we pulled her from in new york city that's the the conversation

00:17:51.160 i have with parents public and private is is the exact same one that we're having right now yeah

00:17:55.660 it's just like yeah they're all kind of like woke to use that term and it's kind of like a

00:17:59.920 we've beaten that term to the ground no they just had one of the on um i don't know it was

00:18:04.860 martin luther king day yeah and they had an assembly and they had the head of dei go in

00:18:09.020 there and talk to the girls and said just just as a reminder we believe in equity everyone has the

00:18:14.940 right to wind up in the same space yeah and of course my daughter my kids are primed on this 0.85

00:18:20.000 you know we're inoculating them against this bullshit at home but she knew enough to come 0.90

00:18:23.580 home and be like mom this is what they said and i was like no she's absolutely right on the next 0.99

00:18:27.460 test when you study hard and the girl next to you doesn't she has a right to see your answers

00:18:32.040 you have to show them to her she has the right to get the same grade as you no matter how much

00:18:36.540 work you did or didn't put into it yeah i mean that is funny to to have a di program in an all

00:18:41.320 girls school well that it's it's like you don't even accept men but that's the you're selecting

00:18:48.460 out a group of people you really can't continue that conversation well they can't have the

00:18:52.380 oppressors and the patriarchy running the school that is wait are there are there any like male

00:18:56.600 leadership in the school yes well not leadership but there are plenty of male teachers just male

00:19:00.280 teachers yeah but no male leadership no there isn't no well wait i'm wrong when you get to the

00:19:05.040 high school there's a there's a head of the high school i mean she's only in middle school but so

00:19:09.100 we're not there yet yeah i don't i don't think they're against men but you know we did a bunch

00:19:12.960 of research when the kids were really young on single sex education and it seemed like they could

00:19:17.740 k through eight it was a good idea and the good thing about this high school is when she gets to

00:19:22.800 high school she'll mix now with boys so that's good because you know at some point you have to 0.90

00:19:26.740 learn how to be around the opposite sex yeah you do i wonder i'm surprised it's that way not the

00:19:31.460 opposite way what do you mean like co-ed k through eight yeah single sex yeah i think they're looking

00:19:36.840 i think for girls the philosophy is you know they'll they won't um be afraid to say how they

00:19:43.400 feel because you know in middle school it's awkward for everybody and maybe around the boys

00:19:47.160 you're a little bit more buttoned up yes and then in the younger grades boys tend to be more 0.98

00:19:51.600 disruptive and kind of bigger pains in the ass and girls are like well-behaved and so then they 0.96

00:19:56.520 get demonized so it can be better better for them to be alone too you know where they're not being 0.99

00:20:01.340 compared to the well-behaved girls like at our boys school the first thing they do for the k 0.97

00:20:06.360 through fivers is they let them go to gym for like an hour out the system get it out that's smart 1.00

00:20:10.960 right that's really smart but girls don't need that they're just ready to pay attention and lock

00:20:15.700 can i mean oh it's amazing yeah isn't this fun you have all this to look forward to with your

00:20:19.520 now one year baby i'm so excited yeah it's great it is like terrifying though all these things are

00:20:24.240 scary you don't know anything you really don't know anything and now i like i have this i have

00:20:28.960 this amazing empathy for uh yeah i mean i don't want to like politicize this too much but like

00:20:34.280 even these like uh hot button topics like you know vaccination and these kind of things like

00:20:38.240 if you don't have children like you really don't even need to be part of the conversation at all

00:20:42.220 because you don't understand the fear of making a decision that could negatively impact your

00:20:47.040 daughter either way. Yes. To do it and then something happens, God forbid, now you feel

00:20:52.440 that responsibility. You don't do it and something happens, you feel that responsibility. Yes. And

00:20:58.460 you're constantly, you know, these decisions are put in front of you. It's like, oof. Well, like

00:21:02.940 you're trying to rely on your doctor and you're, you know, you try to find a good doctor and just

00:21:06.360 do what he says. But then this whole past five years has really undermined health in doctors

00:21:11.900 and public health officials, right?

00:21:13.160 So you're kind of like-

00:21:13.920 Every institution I feel like

00:21:15.320 we have super low confidence in.

00:21:17.100 Yeah, every pediatrician that we've had

00:21:18.680 has recommended that we get them the COVID vaccine,

00:21:20.860 which we didn't.

00:21:21.540 Yeah.

00:21:21.800 My current, no, no, not my-

00:21:22.940 I got a fake one.

00:21:24.000 No, I got myself the vaccine, which I regret,

00:21:26.760 but I did not get it from my kids.

00:21:27.840 Did you get a booster?

00:21:28.900 Yes, I got one booster.

00:21:30.400 Oh, I didn't, I got a fake booster

00:21:32.000 so I could do a movie.

00:21:32.900 I wish I had gotten fake.

00:21:34.160 I got you. 0.96

00:21:34.800 There's like some Jewish guy in Brooklyn that I went to.

00:21:37.540 Oh, come on.

00:21:38.400 Yeah.

00:21:39.040 Why didn't I know any of this?

00:21:40.360 And then I gave it to the movie company 0.97

00:21:41.800 to prove them that i was vaccinated they hit me back they're like yeah this is bullshit and i was 0.99

00:21:45.360 like all right i gotta talk to that fucking guy again it was it was i'm shocked what did he shoot 0.99

00:21:51.100 me up with yeah yeah so you got the first two shots but nothing more yeah i was excited like 0.98

00:21:55.980 i know this sounds crazy but i was like excited to get the first two because i was like i just 0.92

00:21:58.880 want to get out like i want to party like like i didn't know what the fuck it was because you were

00:22:02.360 in new york we went down to miami okay so we were in new york and everything was shut down new york 0.90

00:22:08.060 And in the beginning, it was kind of exciting. 0.97

00:22:10.220 It was just me and my wife were, like, making fucking meals together every single night. 0.98

00:22:14.480 You know, it felt like camping. 0.98

00:22:15.940 I've never gone camping, but, like, that's kind of what I imagined it was.

00:22:18.860 And then, and I was lucky.

00:22:20.200 I'm doing podcasts.

00:22:21.160 I'm doing what I do outside of stand-up.

00:22:23.000 Yeah.

00:22:23.220 So, like, my life wasn't that different outside of, like, not being able to eat out, I guess.

00:22:28.980 Yeah.

00:22:29.920 Come winter, it got brutal.

00:22:32.200 Like, it was just.

00:22:33.460 So we went down to Miami for four months, and it was amazing.

00:22:35.960 Like my whole team, we all went down there.

00:22:38.220 I think day two, the entire team got COVID.

00:22:41.140 Yeah, of course.

00:22:42.280 The entire team.

00:22:42.760 My poor guy was in our pool house for two weeks with COVID.

00:22:45.660 He got long COVID.

00:22:47.040 Like it was, yeah.

00:22:48.000 I mean, it was great.

00:22:48.800 I was, I just see him in the window, just waving at him.

00:22:51.900 It was incredible.

00:22:53.200 Duff, who's here right now.

00:22:54.440 But, but yeah, yeah.

00:22:56.280 So there was this part of me that was like, I just want to be able to do things.

00:22:58.960 Like, so shoot me up.

00:23:00.020 I don't care. 0.96

00:23:00.480 And there were Nazis in New York about it, which is your real home base.

00:23:03.180 Yeah.

00:23:03.560 Yeah.

00:23:03.920 It is tricky.

00:23:04.460 do you like so there is this thing where i go yeah we're gonna be more strict in new york where 0.74

00:23:09.920 we live on top of each other we're all on the fucking subway together like i don't want to 0.78

00:23:13.520 compare new york to montana like when someone in montana is like i can't believe you guys did that 0.90

00:23:17.200 in new york it's like yeah you live on a ranch yeah like 500 acres yeah like the rules are gonna

00:23:22.400 be different you know i got like a dominican family above me that's gonna play music at 12

00:23:26.440 unless the city has a rule that stops the music at 10 that's right so sometimes you like a little

00:23:31.200 government overreach if you want to get to bed you know well and we were all being told at the

00:23:35.680 on the initial vaccine that it would stop the spread so that it you know would make it make

00:23:39.980 you not contagious this is what i feel like people do that's just like so frustrating it's like

00:23:44.220 they it's the lies to cover up the lack of information and then you get these like

00:23:51.200 conspiracies like every conspiracy i imagine like the truth of it is probably way more boring

00:23:55.620 but it's probably like a little incompetence yeah somebody refusing to take accountability

00:24:00.700 for their own incompetence,

00:24:02.480 covering it up with a lie,

00:24:04.160 and then the internet gets after it

00:24:06.080 and they're trying to solve this puzzle. 0.91

00:24:07.540 And it's just, if one person had the balls 1.00

00:24:09.620 to just be like, yo, I fucked up. 1.00

00:24:11.300 Yeah. 0.99

00:24:11.840 That was me.

00:24:12.660 I was the second shooter.

00:24:16.580 I'm just going to put it out there.

00:24:17.960 We need the Victoria's Secret guy.

00:24:20.480 Who's Epstein's...

00:24:21.560 Oh, the...

00:24:22.460 Yeah, yeah.

00:24:23.100 Wexner.

00:24:24.760 Wexner.

00:24:25.340 Wexner, yeah.

00:24:25.980 Yeah, we just need him to come out

00:24:27.400 and be like, I funded it.

00:24:28.900 Why can't we know more about him?

00:24:30.400 Dude.

00:24:30.700 this is the thing it's like give him immunity give him immunity yeah and then we can learn

00:24:36.280 everything and we can move on yeah but he's got it no why'd you give this guy billions of dollars

00:24:41.720 to manage i have to tell you i i had a couple of conversation with somebody very close to the

00:24:48.800 epstein case like very close to it who shall go nameless for this conversation and this person 0.81

00:24:54.200 swore to me acosta no that there's that there's he could talk too he knows shit too that that he 0.96

00:25:01.180 wasn't this quote pedophile right that he was into like 16 17 year old girls yeah and that yes 0.98

00:25:10.340 some may have sort of gotten through that were slightly younger but that wasn't exactly his thing

00:25:15.720 and that pretty much every famous celebrity was friends with him yeah and went on his jet yeah

00:25:23.420 But that at most, all they were getting was like the so-called massages from these 16, 17 year olds, as opposed to like a pedophile ring.

00:25:32.340 Yeah.

00:25:32.840 Now, I don't know.

00:25:33.860 16, 17 is pedophile for me.

00:25:35.200 Well, it depends on the state.

00:25:36.320 It could be illegal.

00:25:37.240 But in some places, it's probably legal.

00:25:38.840 Like even in Canada and even like the UK or something.

00:25:41.280 And France, I don't even know if they have an age.

00:25:43.200 Probably not.

00:25:44.000 Yeah.

00:25:44.500 I think they're still defending him over there.

00:25:45.740 Yeah.

00:25:45.840 The only thing they age is cheese.

00:25:47.140 i mean you think about it though because like how did alan dershowitz wind up you know becoming

00:25:52.960 jeffrey epstein's lawyer how did all these world figures wind up on his plane because he had you

00:25:59.740 know he had cachet he had money he was already connected he was tight with the people at harvard

00:26:04.860 that's all you really have to say that you're tight with the people at harvard and mit everybody

00:26:08.980 will let you into their party at cosign right yeah like if you've got these certain credentials

00:26:13.240 you're good i don't even need to check in on you no you're tight with harvard you have an office

00:26:17.180 at harvard yes you must be legit you're a legit guy why would harvard not even after you already

00:26:23.160 pleaded guilty to something with a young prostitute like we're still katie kirk's still 0.65

00:26:27.340 going to go to your dinner party at your mansion bill gates is still going to ask you for marital

00:26:30.780 advice yeah how about the bill gates thing yeah like were you surprised when it came out that he

00:26:36.160 was like with all these younger women and like these pool parties and it was like you know he'd

00:26:40.400 been so buttoned up in this like totally respectable person am i surprised that the

00:26:45.020 billionaire guy had a bunch of chicks that he was sleeping with not so much no but it was totally

00:26:50.240 contrary to his image at the time i don't think warren buffett really wears khakis and drinks a

00:26:55.580 diet coke on a bench in omaha yes he does this is this is the beautiful lie that we're all

00:27:01.880 explain it to me you think that that's what he's doing you think he's just like i'm gonna have my

00:27:06.340 hot dog and a diet coke no that's like propaganda he's in a boardroom somewhere going okay we got

00:27:11.580 a trillion dollars to move around let's make it happen i thought you were making a comment about

00:27:14.440 women and warren no i don't think warren's doing anything with women okay it might be i have no

00:27:18.760 clue i have no clue but like it nothing surprises me nothing shocks me like in order to make that

00:27:24.160 money okay i'm not talking about like tech billions is a little bit different right because

00:27:29.940 it's all like fugazi it's not real it's like okay we think that this is worth that everybody's

00:27:33.940 trying to get rich on it stock price spikes the businesses aren't actually making any money

00:27:39.160 it's not real it's all paper yeah it's all paper speculation right so but like in order to actually

00:27:44.900 make like proper billion dollars like you gotta kill like i don't know a few people right you do

00:27:53.000 i think you think elon has killed a few people oh um what do you mean a few what do you mean 0.66

00:27:57.860 like how with a tesla with a self-driving no not like he shoots like but also he's tech like i

00:28:03.700 don't know how about how profitable the business are yeah like how profitable are the businesses

00:28:07.600 i don't i'm sure he could cash out on some of these like tesla he's a genius i'm not trying

00:28:12.140 to be like overly critical with him but i'm talking about like an actual you are making

00:28:16.180 dollars and cents business that you can cash out like i mean yeah i don't think that you can have

00:28:22.060 this like pious constitution and do that most of these people cash out and they they sell like

00:28:27.680 mark cuban you know he sold the business he came up with and there's just the one sale because it

00:28:32.300 seems like the first buyer winds up getting screwed like he thinks he's going to build it

00:28:35.940 he's bought something meaningful and then when he turns around like everything's collapsed that

00:28:39.440 happens all the time yeah you want to be the one who invents it builds it up into something big on 0.82

00:28:43.300 paper and then get out of town get the fuck out of there how about elon now he's in all over the 0.83

00:28:47.400 news for the doge stuff yeah he wore a suit the other night wow um mark mike davis who comes on 0.96

00:28:52.260 the show a lot he's a lawyer yeah uh trump affiliated tweet out something like two things

00:28:57.060 elon has a suit and a babysitter we haven't seen it he's turning over a new leaf you know what the

00:29:04.620 thing about elon is is like um he's obviously a brilliant guy and you want brilliant people on

00:29:10.020 your side especially if like we're going to world war three like if we are going to go to war with

00:29:14.100 russia china whatever it is i think you kind of want the rocket guy yep on your side right like

00:29:19.580 either protect us or get us to mars if things go to hell right like let's just so we want to keep

00:29:25.900 over here um my concern about the doge thing is this is i don't think there's a single american

00:29:31.520 out there that's like i want waste inefficiency and government corruption right this is a

00:29:36.820 bipartisan supported issue and i feel like because maybe he's he hasn't developed like the the the

00:29:44.180 skill of politics he's kind of like twisting the knife a little bit and it's like too inhumane i

00:29:50.480 don't even know about it inhumane i'm just like it's kind of like gotcha here we go where you

00:29:55.360 could rally support from all of this everybody wants this the left should want this the right

00:30:00.040 should want this this can be a victory for america i think it is i mean like what do we have you guys

00:30:05.720 we have that harry engine thing i asked for you know him over on cnn he's hilarious i know him

00:30:10.020 from the cellar he hangs out at the comedy all the time oh he does yeah yeah he is he's funny

00:30:14.580 himself i love his new york accent here he is talking about the the doge and the public reaction

00:30:18.680 this to me was one of the more shocking figures that i saw made me go wait a minute hold on one

00:30:24.920 second whoa americans on trump and joe's efforts musk and those those should influence government

00:30:30.440 spending and operations look at this 54 the majority say that he and they should how about

00:30:36.180 a proof of trump trying to cut staff at government agencies again you get a majority here 51 so yet

00:30:41.800 elon musk might not be that popular but these cuts and the idea of spending cuts at least within the

00:30:47.260 federal government and cutting at government agencies that actually has majority support

00:30:51.220 I was truly surprised by this, Kate, but the numbers are the numbers.

00:30:54.800 Democrats want to argue that the type of spending that Musk is cutting is mainly necessary programs,

00:31:00.000 but that comes in at just 36%.

00:31:01.820 The wasteful spending actually wins the plurality here at 42%, according to a recent Washington Post-Ipsos, Paul.

00:31:08.380 And I think that is the reason why you see that when it comes to Musk and Doge,

00:31:13.480 you see, in fact, the majority believe he should have some influence

00:31:16.180 because they believe, the plurality believe, that he is cutting wasteful spending,

00:31:19.980 not necessary programs that democrats were arguing so he is winning the pr war yeah but to me there

00:31:27.480 shouldn't even need to be pr like it should be 100 what what how so like he should be more clear

00:31:33.320 on the doge website which is not that user-friendly yeah i don't even know if it's more clear i think

00:31:37.340 it's more like the tweets and like the antagonism within the tweets and i think he's developed this

00:31:41.960 very like polarizing personality online and there's a way okay the question right now is

00:31:47.540 is it possible to be less polarizing right like what percentage no matter who you are of course

00:31:51.920 and like now that he's in this position of it's not only like immense power but also influence

00:31:56.980 and he's tackling a topic that is not partisan at all like there is support here so you don't

00:32:05.020 need to antagonize it all it's like buddy everybody's on your side if you hire some

00:32:08.880 people and then sorry if you fire them and then have to hire them back like it's okay to be like

00:32:13.140 hey we made a mistake there we're not perfect we're gonna we're gonna do this right and we're

00:32:17.320 going to figure this out like it's okay to acknowledge these things and this is where i

00:32:22.280 think like having a little bit more experience in politics can be helpful because this is it is a

00:32:28.400 different game you're doing dealing with emotions not facts yeah you could show me those lists all 0.98

00:32:32.140 you want like people are emotional beings they don't give a fuck like what is it the dweeb says 0.95

00:32:35.940 all the time the ben shapiro guy he's like uh facts don't care about your feelings it's like 0.98

00:32:40.360 no no no dumbass feelings don't care about facts we feel things like there is a woman in mexico

00:32:48.560 that's going to see the virgin mary in her toast today yeah because she feels the lord 0.96

00:32:53.640 and then sees it afterwards we don't look at like usually it's a cinnabon

00:32:59.360 fine keep going just my experience

00:33:03.180 that's how you know that's how you know megan is locked at the airport

00:33:09.740 crisis king when she's at the Cinnabon I try not to let people see me going there I love it

00:33:15.900 I love it there's that great uh Louis CK bit where he's like um I went to Cinnabon uh after

00:33:21.800 arriving that's sad no I actually I don't go to Cinnabon because I I'm you know in my 50s and I

00:33:29.580 just can't do that anymore but I will tell you not too long ago I was at the airport for a layover

00:33:33.440 yeah and I wanted this so badly and I'm like I'm doing it and I got not just the small bag

00:33:38.000 and not the huge huge bag but like the medium sort of large-ish yeah bag of cheetos yeah i ate

00:33:45.380 every last one there was a woman across me kind of looking at me stealing glance you could tell

00:33:49.980 she was kind of like is she gonna eat that entire bag of cheetos i'm like sister i am america they're

00:33:54.680 just like us it was so good the stars are just like us you deserve a bag of cheetos guilty pleasure

00:34:01.660 yes you earned everything what do you you should be eating cheetos every single night well then

00:34:05.460 then it starts to come back at you you know like then next thing but then you get the manjaro or

00:34:09.820 the ozempic or whatever like that it's better to keep it off to begin with trust me i've had to

00:34:14.180 i've lost and i've gained over the years it's better if you can keep it off there's no more

00:34:17.560 fat pride huh that really ended with the ozempic i i think if you're a leftist there is you think

00:34:22.540 you have to at least say you are otherwise you know i think ozempic ended that did you see lizzo

00:34:27.260 yes she's beautiful she looks awesome yes i think they've all realized that but it was hard to do

00:34:32.960 because you got to like put in the effort, you know?

00:34:34.420 Yeah, I don't know.

00:34:35.360 I'm not sure the left is still- 0.72

00:34:36.560 All these fat models are doing it too. 0.51

00:34:37.500 They're like on the Ozepic, 0.82

00:34:38.620 so there's no more fat models. 1.00

00:34:39.440 After telling us that we were supposed to embrace it

00:34:41.180 and it was healthy and it was beautiful.

00:34:41.680 Oh, I got ridiculed for just being like,

00:34:44.320 this is absurd.

00:34:45.160 Like what is going on?

00:34:46.160 Not at all.

00:34:47.020 And now they're all on Ozepic 0.81

00:34:48.300 and they're like, I'll just be a model model. 0.98

00:34:49.880 Yeah.

00:34:50.400 Well, what about Swimsuit or Sports Illustrated 0.72

00:34:53.260 now bring you back actual hot models for its magazine? 1.00

00:34:56.960 America's Healing.

00:34:57.740 Yeah, right.

00:34:59.300 With all due respect to Martha Stewart, 1.00

00:35:00.800 I guess that didn't sell a lot of magazines 0.67

00:35:02.820 or gail king oh why did martha go in there yeah and so did gail king and i think uh they eventually 1.00

00:35:07.660 realized what they really wanted was a baddie back in the day that i ain't gonna watch you watch her 1.00

00:35:11.220 special yeah i did it was crazy she is a psycho but here's what i'm saying she has some bodies 0.99

00:35:16.420 that this is you don't get to that number yeah without taking some people out if someone told 1.00

00:35:21.180 me that like martha had someone killed i wouldn't be like martha oh really well she is a convicted

00:35:25.480 felon yeah like you don't think she's capable of murder i don't herself but like getting someone

00:35:30.760 else to do it no are you capable of murder i could murder what yeah like if somebody did anything to 0.58

00:35:36.380 my daughter i could kill them yes okay me too yeah or to protect yeah of course if somebody's 0.99

00:35:41.540 like gonna you know do something to what about for like you know business oh like could i murder 0.99

00:35:46.740 somebody to like get ahead or to get a deal or a vendetta no i mean i i'll if or where i could

00:35:52.940 convince myself that they did something to my daughter i'd be like yeah i definitely have to 0.99

00:35:56.000 kill that comedian but can i tell you something like if you're a if you're a sociopath yes 0.99

00:36:01.040 yeah i because i've talked to some sociopaths they actually have no qualms about this whatsoever 1.00

00:36:06.440 they will talk to you about like yes that is an acceptable menu item like yeah killing the person

00:36:11.540 to take care of the problem is right there yeah like they just don't even and and you know one

00:36:16.380 in four people are sociopaths yeah i've heard this like it's uh it's kind of a sad way to live

00:36:20.660 though you know well yeah like but because like there's a competitive advantage about not caring

00:36:26.680 about people but the human experience is connectivity so like you go without that 0.50

00:36:33.080 like i was speaking to this guy he used to be a cia dude and he was like borderline sociopath and

00:36:37.340 that's what they liked about him because you want people that can make those really difficult 0.60

00:36:40.740 decisions and i'm sure the cia is all there whatever right anyway and um he was telling me

00:36:47.140 that like he he's aware of what people should feel yeah even though he doesn't feel it no they

00:36:53.580 study yeah they learn the proper way of reacting but imagine not being like imagine your kid that

00:36:59.320 first time you hear a kid laugh and the way that it like transforms your entire idea of what joy is

00:37:06.040 yep and imagine seeing that and feeling nothing it's you're dead inside what a horrible way to

00:37:11.500 live can i tell you something i can find out whether you're a sociopath oh tell me two minutes 0.98

00:37:16.300 or less. Go, go, go. This is good. It's a little riddle. Okay, go. Okay. A man shows up at a 0.97

00:37:23.660 funeral. Yeah. He goes to grieve the dead body at the wake. It was the wake. And he sees a woman

00:37:30.820 near the casket and they exchange a glance. You know, they make eye contact. The man leaves,

00:37:38.200 the funeral wraps up a week later that man kills that woman's mother why

00:37:44.920 um because he's a sociopath well i probably do have the answer but uh what do you think the

00:37:56.740 answer is because that woman's mother uh was the mistress of his father you're not a sociopath

00:38:04.940 oh why what is it because he wanted to see her again the woman

00:38:09.800 now let me tell you something did you see how i went with women cheating but can i tell you

00:38:16.120 everybody's my biggest fear so so the sociopath gets that like this wait really they have that

00:38:22.760 answer like this and let me tell you where i got this test from my somebody who used to be in my

00:38:28.240 life um that person's father was a psychiatrist in one of the worst prisons in america and they

00:38:35.980 would actually do this test on the patients and man by man by man if and by the way to my listening

00:38:43.260 audience if it came to you right away you might be a sociopath yeah turn yourself in but you'll

00:38:47.040 see it has to come like if you're wrestling with it and after like a minute you're like was it this 0.64

00:38:50.400 you've given a couple guesses and you get there eventually you're good because the sociopath

00:38:54.240 immediately is like because he wanted to see her again they just think differently i mean it is the

00:39:00.480 it is the easiest path to seeing her again right it guarantees it and there's no moral objection

00:39:06.340 on your list again you're like who cares isn't that crazy that feels good that i'm not a sociopath

00:39:11.240 yes you can go tell emma yes i know but i knew you were in my head while i was like should i do

00:39:15.920 the sociopath test on him i was like what if he fails and i've humiliated this poor guy in front

00:39:20.480 of everybody but then i was thinking about the video you put in your latest comedy thing on

00:39:24.780 netflix i'm like there's no way andrew's a sociopath what's yeah the opposite is empath

00:39:28.220 yeah yeah i think that's it i'm like you feel too much yeah i believe that about you yeah you are a

00:39:34.140 softy yeah i'm sensitive yeah i can see that and it's like it's weird it's like i'm sensitive but

00:39:40.500 like i can i can i'm numb to certain things not numb but like they don't really affect me like

00:39:45.440 criticism and going through all these like random internet shit that i go through yep but um i'm i

00:39:50.900 am very sensitive to the people i really care about so like reactivity within like my family 0.56

00:39:56.020 or friend group uh and then i'm also sensitive to like kind of like cultural trends i can like

00:40:01.740 feel like frustration pretty early like what do you mean do you feel one now no not like like what

00:40:07.900 do i think for people for example like what i think people really care about um like i think

00:40:14.760 the democrats for example like they could win the next election if they just make it a class issue

00:40:19.960 like it's that simple and they got to just be they're not they're so risk averse and they need

00:40:25.880 to be a little bit more brave americans we have very high risk tolerance or low risk what's the

00:40:30.460 high we have high risk high like everybody in our family's history like the craziest people

00:40:36.620 in the world came here came here yep like they lived in another country left their entire family

00:40:43.400 for maybe it working out and then came over here right so we're built crazy so we like people to

00:40:50.060 take risks and we like bravery and despite your politics we react to those type of people and

00:40:56.400 like i think this is part of the reason why bernie was so successful is he's out here like calling out

00:41:01.100 the billionaire class calling out these corporations and even like people who were republicans like 0.94

00:41:05.460 working class republicans were like yo who the fuck is that yeah i kind of like this guy like 0.97

00:41:09.960 It feels like he's kind of riding for me. 0.99

00:41:11.260 That's who Joe Rogan was for four years ago.

00:41:13.380 All of us loved him.

00:41:14.900 And despite-

00:41:15.580 Four, 10, whatever.

00:41:16.280 Yeah, it was a while.

00:41:17.260 But I, and I feel like that's kind of what the Democratic Party is missing is just, I

00:41:22.980 need a disruptive guy or girl who's willing to come out and say eggs or a dollar.

00:41:28.720 Like what's your build a wall?

00:41:30.480 Yeah, right.

00:41:31.180 You need eggs or a dollar.

00:41:32.620 Yep.

00:41:33.000 Even, and then you could, I don't know, subsidize it, whatever it is, but like you need to smack

00:41:37.300 into people emotionally.

00:41:38.260 Do you feel like this is the answer?

00:41:40.560 Because this is the latest messaging from the Dems on social media.

00:41:43.560 Today, Sot 13.

00:41:45.240 Choose your fighter video montage.

00:41:48.660 Oh, God.

00:41:49.640 Oh, yes.

00:41:51.760 Yeah. 1.00

00:41:52.620 It's Democratic female lawmakers, AOC, in the fighting stance and bouncing. 1.00

00:42:00.000 Oh, she looks like an idiot. 1.00

00:42:01.200 Look at this one. 1.00

00:42:02.560 Look at her, Jasmine Crockett.

00:42:05.140 Oh, the last one's terrible.

00:42:08.260 I'm I have second in embarrassment. Yeah. Is that what you mean by fearless and risk tolerance?

00:42:13.240 Yeah, exactly. I mean, that to me makes me proud to be an American. I feel safe with those women

00:42:18.760 right there. They can defend me. Yes. Does that inspire you to get to the ballot box? 1.00

00:42:23.340 You know, it's like I don't even know why AOC is there. She's actually,

00:42:28.100 you know, like her, hate her politics. Like I think she pulled the same as Trump in her district. 1.00

00:42:32.360 She's good on the social media. I mean, if she knows how to use social media, 0.98

00:42:34.980 normally i don't think she came up with that campaign no i think she's like getting on board

00:42:38.400 with it but at the same time like her i guess her constituents feel like she's fighting for her yeah

00:42:43.020 where there's a lot of this yeah or sorry for them and where it's like i find a lot of times

00:42:47.340 with the democrats there is this like pretentiousness there's this like ivy league educated

00:42:52.460 like second or third generation kind of trust fund netbook babies that are like telling people how

00:42:59.020 they should live and how they should vote and it's like first of all if you've never had a real job

00:43:04.580 you don't get to talk yep you don't get to talk like i'm almost like if you never had a kid you

00:43:08.840 don't get to talk but like if you never had a real job you don't get to tell people how they

00:43:13.020 should vote like we we just despise that yeah so what i think they have to do is get back in touch

00:43:20.800 with the working class is is very much make this a class issue and you got to call out those people

00:43:26.020 who are giving you money which these billionaires and these corporations that are donating and they

00:43:30.040 won't do it and that's why they'll probably lose but the first person in that party that calls it

00:43:34.280 out you're going to see the bernie effect happen again well i mean the problem they're dealing with

00:43:38.520 right now is they don't know how to handle trump they don't know how to behave properly you know

00:43:42.260 they're way like don't even talk to them we're debating the spoon they're debating whether you

00:43:46.540 should stand when the 13 year old brain cancer stricken boy gets honored they they didn't do it

00:43:53.520 there's a meme going on right now i think riley gains posted it saying they they knelt for eight

00:43:59.480 minutes and 43 seconds for george floyd yeah but they couldn't stand for peyton mcnab yeah the now

00:44:07.200 19 year old formerly 16 year old who got slammed in the face with the volleyball they couldn't stand

00:44:11.400 for dj daniel the little boy the 13 year old boy with brain cancer they couldn't stand for the

00:44:16.840 widow of the cop who got gunned down they couldn't stand learning that the terrorist who organized

00:44:21.580 the abbey gate attack got arrested but the problem with this is like they're falling for the trap

00:44:26.300 And this is why you need a little bit more like boots on the ground with the Dems.

00:44:31.020 Like you got to understand like what people think of you.

00:44:33.000 Like we were saying, people are emotional.

00:44:34.700 It's not like what you believe is real.

00:44:37.540 It's what they feel is real, right?

00:44:39.400 So they've got a couple issues.

00:44:40.740 They've got a masculinity issue, right? 0.99

00:44:42.300 Yeah, they do. 1.00

00:44:42.760 I said something on Brilliant Idiots with Charlamagne. 0.99

00:44:45.240 I was just joking around. 0.97

00:44:45.900 I was like, I don't know a guy like over 5'9 that identifies as a Democrat.

00:44:49.300 I love that.

00:44:50.120 I played that soundbite on my show.

00:44:52.160 They went crazy.

00:44:54.060 and i didn't realize it was going to be so reactive and then afterwards i was like oh wow they

00:44:58.400 they they have this deep insecurity that they're not seen as masculine so that really tapped that

00:45:05.120 insecurity well they do something about it well that's so you have to find a way to be masculine 0.99

00:45:08.920 you can be masculine and care for people you get like there's so many ways like i'm a fucking kid 0.96

00:45:14.660 who grew up in like an arts family in new york city like my whole family is democrats like this 0.99

00:45:18.840 is like there's tons of very masculine democrats yeah like shit bill was maybe too masculine 0.94

00:45:25.620 you know what i mean like there was a time where like there was a time where democrats were getting 0.99

00:45:31.200 laid and republicans were like how do you do this outside of the marriage you gotta wait for

00:45:34.800 that is completely flipped yep completely did you feel it was masculine to hold up the little sign

00:45:40.920 saying musk steals oh god did you did you feel he would have done that had you been a

00:45:45.960 masculine democrat i don't even know i mean but to your point about this is like they're falling

00:45:51.180 for the trap the republicans know right that they're going to sit down so they're putting

00:45:55.580 out circumstances yeah that they can't they're like if they sit for this they're going to look

00:45:59.980 so bad it's a no-lose situation for trump but if they stood for it it's actually a beautiful moment

00:46:05.140 yes look at this poor little kid yes and and it's a great moment where we come together it's just

00:46:09.460 like doge getting rid of government waste and inefficiency inefficiency is a great thing for

00:46:14.380 america we should have bipartisan support for this what dems are doing is they're going you're a bad

00:46:20.200 guy and that worked when people thought trump was bad guy they don't anymore that's right they don't

00:46:28.160 you're making yourselves look like the bad guys don't even talk about him talk about the people

00:46:32.320 you want to help people are desperate yeah they need help you need your build a wall it's eggs

00:46:37.440 or a dollar yep you need your your build a wall it's we're building 10 000 affordable housing

00:46:43.800 units in every city we're seizing this land and then have developers go wait you can't even do 0.97

00:46:48.220 that and go i don't give a fuck if you say we can't do it that's what we're doing they don't 0.99

00:46:51.320 have that guy put your balls on the ground that like just make it happen even if it doesn't happen 0.99

00:46:56.760 it's like trump saying we're going to take greenland it's kind of fun right right i like 0.99

00:47:00.800 that shit that's the energy i like it hell yeah like gulf of america i don't care why was it ever 0.98

00:47:06.720 gulf of mexico i know we're so much bigger than they are right matter of fact they could still 0.99

00:47:11.020 call it gulf of mexico we don't care do you know what i mean like but that's the energy that we

00:47:15.220 need americans love abundance yeah you need to sell us on abundance aren't you the guy you're

00:47:20.460 the one who said this to me and i've quoted you on it many times on how the moment trump won you

00:47:25.420 over was when he took the guy from montenegro by the shoulder was like to the back which one when

00:47:30.860 he was over at like the g7 or the g18 i loved it i love that and he shoved that guy why am i in the

00:47:35.840 back right why i'm america nobody even understands what this country is this guy in the front move

00:47:40.760 out of the way i will sit here and then he did it and everybody got in line it happens you need 0.99

00:47:45.240 that kind of that is some like psychotic shit i don't think i would have the balls to do that 0.99

00:47:50.060 that is some ballsy montenegro's in the back sir bye see you later you're all in the back it 0.99

00:47:54.760 doesn't really matter if i'm giving you money you're in the back yes are you guys giving me

00:47:58.260 money so why are you in the front right it's like that's part of his like weirdly it's unbelievably

00:48:04.780 charming charm and humor what did you think of i thought it was very funny the state of the union

00:48:09.520 did you laugh great this amount for this country nobody even knows what the hell it is did that

00:48:14.260 make you laugh out yeah this is why another thing democrats don't understand they don't understand

00:48:18.340 like why this like billionaire who was given money from his dad is so relatable well why don't you

00:48:23.600 listen to him talk i've had conversations with like rich people okay they don't talk like that

00:48:29.040 yeah they are incredibly buttoned up a lot of them and concerned publicly about their image and 0.98

00:48:34.000 they're very deliberate about what they say he don't give a fuck no when the indian reporter 0.98

00:48:39.580 was asking him the question and he was just dibble-dabbling and then trump let him finish 0.97

00:48:44.020 and go i don't understand what the hell that guy's talking about you know who says that the

00:48:47.840 guy on the construction site and he called her pocahontas at the state of the union this is what

00:48:52.460 this is how working class people talk yeah this is what this is like what we do this is how we

00:48:57.420 communicate with one another so when we see it happen we're like oh wow i relate to that human

00:49:02.180 being again emotional people we're not ben shapiro feelings no facts that's not what we are we are

00:49:08.440 i oh what is it feelings no facts ben says facts don't care about your feelings yeah yeah we're

00:49:13.240 not the facts don't care about your feelings we are feelings are the only thing that matter and

00:49:17.380 when you communicate with me in a way that all my friends communicate i start to feel like oh i can

00:49:21.460 kind of relate to you it doesn't matter how much you try to make that person radioactive because

00:49:25.660 he's communicating and hitting me right at my core that's so true it's why his his background

00:49:30.200 and construction really made him despite his advantages in his family and when it came to

00:49:34.960 money so relatable because he spent his whole life around working class people exactly it's like

00:49:39.080 and i and i say these things because i think america is at its best if we have two candidates

00:49:45.420 that people really are having a difficult time deciding over i don't want to assist right like

00:49:52.400 i don't want a system like a lot of times there's this like good versus evil dichotomy and it's like

00:49:58.420 they almost want the democrats to be bad and the democrats want the republicans to be bad like

00:50:02.260 i want america to win yeah that's the only thing i'm concerned whatever candidate loves america

00:50:07.880 more that's what i'm going for yeah well that and that was i think pretty clear between the

00:50:11.100 democrats of today and the republican party the best moment of trump like that i've seen on this

00:50:16.320 score is um the one where he's had for that deposition on behalf of in the eugene carroll

00:50:22.200 case against him and the lawyer asked him did you say that that you can grab him by the p word

00:50:27.380 and uh they let you get away with it if you're a celebrity and trump said yes and she said why

00:50:32.280 did you say that well because that that's the way it's been for thousands of years you know

00:50:36.960 unfortunately or fortunately who would say that in a deposition in a case where you're being accused

00:50:47.740 of sexual assault i did a joke about that and i was like he said yeah he said if you a billionaire

00:50:52.340 can grab you by the p word and there's a lot of women they're like oh my god you can't say that

00:50:56.460 And I was like, yeah, but none of you have met a billionaire.

00:50:58.820 Like, why are you talking about this?

00:50:59.980 I was like, you're getting fingered by thousands.

00:51:02.220 Oh, my God.

00:51:04.400 This is not a relatable circumstance for you.

00:51:06.980 So, yeah.

00:51:07.800 All right, stand by.

00:51:08.820 Let me try to get this ad in.

00:51:09.840 We'll be right back.

00:51:10.540 He's here all day.

00:51:11.600 Netflix specials called Life.

00:51:15.440 All right, full-time thoughts.

00:51:16.900 Craig, who stood out?

00:51:17.940 Brazil's lime cheesecake started bright, didn't let up.

00:51:20.420 Nah, for me, Italian cappuccino was the standout in the box.

00:51:23.480 But if we're talking decadent performance, that's all France.

00:51:26.160 chocolate creme brulee had the richest finishes. Canadian fireworks really showed up big too.

00:51:30.700 And Mexico's caramel churro ice cap gave me chills. We are of course talking about Tim's

00:51:35.820 taste of the globe liner. New globally inspired Timbits and ice cap flavors available at Tim

00:51:40.220 Horton's for a limited time. Pick some up today and while you're at it, check out Footy Prime

00:51:44.140 Daily. I walked in that hospital with so much confidence. They handed me a cup. I'm handing

00:51:49.080 them back a martini. I'm ready. Remember, I went in the room. I jerked off. I opened my eyes. I

00:51:57.640 looked down. I thought I missed. There was so little sperm in this cup, I could have counted

00:52:06.640 them individually. There was a red line on the cup three quarters of the way up.

00:52:11.740 for what fucking reason i do not know to this day three quarters of the way what 0.92

00:52:19.160 zoo animal hippopotamus cups are you giving out to people why are you even giving me a cup give 1.00

00:52:25.980 me a contact lens gaze i'll turn that shit into a guinness 0.98

00:52:32.440 that was so funny it's part of hello again this is andrew schultz with me today this is the latest 0.97

00:52:41.440 netflix special it's out now it's called life and it's so well worth your time you know maybe don't

00:52:48.240 watch it with like your eight-year-old but uh teenager absolutely love it and it's i would say

00:52:53.820 like i watch the whole time where i'm like oh my god i'm dying i'm crying i hope nobody knows what

00:52:59.120 i'm watching there's some adult concert in there for sure but it's all in uh but here you it's a

00:53:06.660 personal story this whole thing is about your journey with emma yeah trying to conceive a baby

00:53:10.860 yeah and i mean no detail is spared yeah but so it's very personal it was unusually personal

00:53:16.060 yeah yeah did you did you run it by her first so the the thing was is uh yeah at first like you

00:53:22.020 know this is the most like male thing like but it's i assume that the reason why we couldn't is

00:53:27.720 because it was her fault right and i talk about it in the special where i'm like she was really

00:53:32.180 concerned it was her fault and i was really concerned it was her fault like we were all

00:53:34.840 really concerned it's obviously her fault yeah because like men we have this like confidence

00:53:38.780 in our sperm that like there's no real reason why but we just know right like every time i've ever

00:53:44.780 had sex with a girl i was like oh my god this is gonna be great like what should we do how do 1.00

00:53:48.860 you know calling the next month i know she's pregnant guaranteed uh which i now know is a 1.00

00:53:53.680 waste and uh once we found out that her ovaries were perfect and my sperm was horrible um it it

00:54:00.140 actually made it a lot easier for me to talk about really yeah because i think the reason why like

00:54:04.940 anybody who has fertility issues one it's very isolating because you're so protective of the

00:54:10.020 person that you love that you don't a lot of women feel a lot of shame around this yeah true and uh

00:54:15.620 at first i i felt like real shame i was like does god not want me to have a child like i was

00:54:19.720 like i didn't understand it like i think i'm like a pretty good person and i'm kind to people and

00:54:23.780 i'm like why is this happening like what the fuck is going on and um yeah so i get that and a lot

00:54:29.420 of women if they are struggling they're just like it they feel like it's a i don't feel very 0.98

00:54:34.260 stigmatized right and um but once she was perfect and i was fucked up i could get on stage and it 0.73

00:54:40.640 was really cathartic to talk about it and then once i started talking about it i literally thought 0.74

00:54:46.060 that i was like this was like a one in like 10 million thing oh wow the same i started talking

00:54:51.940 about all my friends start telling me that they're doing ivf oh wow and like all these people in the

00:54:56.660 audience would hit me up afterwards about oh yeah you know same thing happened i was like what the

00:55:00.780 is this like the last taboo subject how did anybody ever get pregnant before ivf because

00:55:05.600 everybody's doing it dude it is like it's unbelievable it's it's almost like i was like

00:55:12.280 does anybody really get abortion like i'm like it's so hard to get pregnant why is this an issue

00:55:17.900 like how often do these athletes have unprotected sex if they have 20 kids like

00:55:23.400 like i couldn't believe it it was unfathomable so um but then it became like yeah they're as

00:55:29.860 brutal as it was there was these kind of funny moments that being one of them just that that

00:55:33.580 the the humility going into the room with the lady oh we just talked to the audience you know

00:55:38.640 doug came in to say hi to andrew in the commercial break and uh we were bonding over our shared

00:55:43.460 experience because he and i did ivf with our kids too and uh doug joked that after he had to donate

00:55:48.340 the sample yeah first he said he was gonna wear like a red crushed velvet smoking jacket on his

00:55:53.340 way in and on the other way out he was just gonna be like that was fantastic i was amazing yeah i

00:55:58.580 was always thinking about like do i make noises in there like how uncomfortable do i make it for

00:56:02.680 the other guys at the clinic like just screaming random things yes sesame street just something

00:56:08.840 crazy but yeah it's like i was crazy it was like a walk of shame when you're walking by all the

00:56:13.620 other guys there everybody's there oh god i know what you're about to do it's so humbling yes you're

00:56:18.000 just sitting in this room like all of you are in there you're like so why did they make you go in

00:56:22.680 to give the sperm sample i didn't think couldn't they so i did it from home once okay the whole i

00:56:27.620 don't even i haven't even put like a lot of the stuff in it but like the whole journey was brutal

00:56:30.960 so the first one i did from home which was like i'm in the room my wife like hands me the thing

00:56:36.120 like it's like homework and she's like okay i'll give you 30 minutes you go do your thing i'm gonna

00:56:40.560 go outside or i'm gonna do the dishes so like i hear her doing the dishes in the background where 0.54

00:56:45.760 i'm like being mandated to masturbate and uh i'm like on our bed like i don't think i've ever 0.51

00:56:51.400 masturbated on a bed like i'm just on our bed and the bed is made perfectly like everything is like 0.50

00:56:56.880 set up and i remember at one point like i'm just like i don't know this is like so weird and i like

00:57:01.560 looked up and the tv was off so it was just a black screen so it's a perfect mirror oh no and

00:57:08.240 i was just like this is the saddest day of my life i'm sitting indian style on my back trying

00:57:14.900 to make a sample we send that sample in it comes back and it's like it's it's not good oh and

00:57:22.920 they're like not only are they not swimming they're like shaped weird and i was like i was

00:57:26.800 like a little defensive so i was like well could that be from like the speed that they hit the cup

00:57:31.600 like maybe you know it's the blunt force trauma kind of warped them a little it was just too

00:57:38.220 strong it was too strong that's what that's what it is and uh they're like no that's definitely

00:57:43.020 not it and i was like okay and uh they go uh they go well why don't you do this for like a couple

00:57:47.820 months wear baggy underwear ice your balls every single day ice them yeah yeah whoa yeah yeah yeah

00:57:54.000 i guess that's a big thing um don't drink anymore don't smoke anymore and take these pills and then

00:58:00.320 we'll try it again in like a month or two and i did that and we tried it again and it got worse

00:58:05.240 and i was like why do you think that is and the doctor was like we've never seen this before

00:58:12.160 there's some pride in that it's gotta be a little bit i'm setting records i told a story one time

00:58:17.960 when dave rubin was on but doug had the this the funniest experience there where um they make you

00:58:23.940 ejaculate yeah like 24 hours before the real sample that's going to be like your future kid

00:58:29.420 yeah yeah they want you to clean the house yes it's like i can't remember if it's 24 or 48 hours

00:58:33.340 48 hours before yeah okay so but they want it to be 48 yes and they don't really want it to be 46

00:58:40.020 or 44 because you need the amount of time to build up the new batch yes so like timing does matter

00:58:44.920 it just so happened that on one of ours we were visiting my my nana who was literally like 90 at

00:58:52.600 the time and we were playing dominoes and i was like oh doug it's time he was like what i'm like 0.93

00:58:58.920 you got to go in there right now my poor husband and he was like one of these older person's homes

00:59:04.680 where like there's five inches between the bottom of the door and the ground you can hear every 0.97

00:59:09.880 piece of conversation the dominoes like you're palming the double five you know and doug's

00:59:14.860 horrible poor doug this is the thing about this is like it's a it's the this the journey is brutal

00:59:25.220 when you're in it is the hardest thing that you'll go through in your life sorry definitely

00:59:28.740 the hardest thing we went through and um but after the fact it is hysterical yes like they're

00:59:36.600 can't believe what you've been through yeah and like there are so many of these things that are

00:59:40.240 so funny and the beautiful thing about having a child is you get this like amnesia yeah for what

00:59:45.100 you went through to get there i think that's actually kind of like built into our dna so we

00:59:49.140 keep making them i totally agree you know like same women have been saying that for eons because

00:59:53.080 of the pain of labor and it's so you know devastating and then you forget all about it

00:59:59.520 i never had labor because i had three c-sections but my friends tell me it's extremely painful

01:00:04.040 oh my emma was in there for 24 hours and then she had the c-section because the uh the baby's

01:00:08.600 heart rate dropped oh god that's scary yeah the whole thing is is is terrible when you were doing

01:00:12.740 the shots before to prepare for the ivf like did you have any fun uh mood swings or anything oh

01:00:18.480 yeah i i was actually fine i i did not have weird mood swings but it was very funny because

01:00:23.820 doug does not like he his mom got this terrible cut in her leg and it was so brutal and doug was

01:00:30.280 right there he bandaged it up he put the medicine i was like yeah i can't take that kind of injury

01:00:36.540 but you pull out a needle and doug is one of those like oh so he so he can't shots but he

01:00:42.960 had to in the beginning as it turned out he didn't have to but we thought he did yeah because in the

01:00:47.660 beginning they really make it up into a thing like you got to mix the compound and it's like

01:00:50.740 kind of back in a hard spot to reach you got to ice the area oh my god like our future family

01:00:55.560 depends on this yeah and doug was in a hot like a cold sweat and the superintendent of our building

01:01:01.280 at the time his name was lance and they're like it's very important that your wife have a partner

01:01:04.800 that helps with and doug is like this is gonna be very hard for lance yeah but he did it good

01:01:11.920 he did it he got it through but honestly by the third child you know he doug was no part of it i

01:01:16.480 was like i need no ice i'm good boom we're done yeah off to the race it is crazy that they make 0.76

01:01:21.820 you mix it at home so anybody who's not familiar they give you these two uh i guess hormonal

01:01:27.180 compounds and you have to put them together in the syringe in just the right proportions i'm like

01:01:33.740 why isn't this done at the lab and then we just hit it like you don't have to make the kit kat

01:01:38.160 right like make the bar and then send it to me and i remember like watching my wife do these things 0.95

01:01:43.320 making sure it's the right amount you got to push a little out so no air gets in there right right 1.00

01:01:47.600 so you don't give yourself an air bubble like life or death literally and she's like did i push too 1.00

01:01:52.200 much out will i not get it is this but there yeah there was i mean emma would get like it would

01:01:57.940 really get her going would she get angry or just overly emotional oh angry like but we didn't know

01:02:03.680 that that was the cause so like i remember we got into it at a japanese restaurant you don't realize

01:02:09.340 how quiet those restaurants are

01:02:10.680 until you're having like a loud blow up with like,

01:02:13.720 and you know, the only thing interrupting the blow up,

01:02:16.620 because everybody is already quiet at Japanese restaurant.

01:02:18.920 And then once you have like a verbal altercation,

01:02:22.240 they're really quiet.

01:02:23.260 Oh, I love when somebody has a fight and I'm nearby.

01:02:25.900 Oh my God.

01:02:26.820 Doug and I, like, he'll start talking.

01:02:28.140 I'll be like, be quiet.

01:02:28.680 This is too important to me.

01:02:29.620 You gotta lock in.

01:02:30.140 Everybody was locked in.

01:02:31.020 They're just slurping udon and watching us.

01:02:32.880 And the only thing that would interrupt it

01:02:34.560 is like when a new person would walk in

01:02:36.320 and you know, the whole restaurant has to go,

01:02:37.720 Emma would feel like they were interrupting our argument so so so we're fighting

01:02:47.200 Emma goes are you kidding me and then back to yelling at me it's just amazing well were you

01:02:53.720 so you weren't that guy who was like she's going through a lot these are just her emotions I'm

01:02:57.420 just gonna I'm gonna let everything slide I'm not gonna get mad about anything we didn't know that

01:03:01.880 it was the case so we didn't know until literally that night i go hey did we do the shot we did the 0.77

01:03:08.920 shot today right and she goes oh shit we're walking down we were on kenmare street that's 0.99

01:03:12.980 when you put it together that she's hormonal and then and then she was also like oh fuck i guess 0.99

01:03:18.020 i'm like really reactive to this and then from then on we stopped going to japanese restaurants 0.92

01:03:22.900 and then how about after she had the baby did she have like because you're sleep deprived you're

01:03:27.840 very hormonal it's the most insane thing if you're did you breastfeed yeah okay that is the

01:03:32.960 i think that this is i think that is the most difficult part of child rearing is the the if

01:03:43.000 you are breastfeeding full-time like meaning every two hours yeah that is insane yeah it's a lot

01:03:49.220 that is insane every two hours so you're waking up i don't think a lot of people know this you're

01:03:55.940 waking up every two hours in the night you don't get more than an hour of sleep at a time it's

01:04:00.420 truly like a like an astronaut training situation yeah no it's brutal but then then it it lets up a

01:04:07.960 little when it lets up this is beautiful bonding experience that you have with your child and like

01:04:11.880 it's something even now like emma's still breastfeeding and it's just this thing that

01:04:16.200 she's like she doesn't even want to let go of it yeah well then you get to like the six month mark

01:04:20.340 where the baby can start having like smaller like a solid food yeah and they're still having breast

01:04:25.580 milk and you're at the point now where like you're you're producing the more more milk than ever

01:04:29.300 and yet the baby's somewhat getting a little independent yep and the weight comes shredding

01:04:34.240 off that's the best moment where you're like i'm making tons of milk all these calories are coming

01:04:40.460 off for free oh because your body is burning calories but your your baby doesn't need as much

01:04:45.240 milk as from you right as he needed it five months because now he's starting to eat food right but

01:04:50.420 your body doesn't know that so it's still burning like 800 calories a day you're like oh my god i 0.96

01:04:55.320 out of the waist again yeah there's a normal ass yeah thank you sweet baby i always say they're 1.00

01:05:02.460 selling breastfeeding to moms all wrong that you would care about the health of our babies but we 1.00

01:05:05.840 know that babies who are formula fed are fine too you have to sell it to them like ozempic you'll be 0.99

01:05:10.360 skinny yes it is natural ozempic it's natural ozempic let that baby suck the fat out of you

01:05:15.400 they put it on you it's the least they can do that is their gift yes wow that is so true yeah 0.99

01:05:21.380 emma really got her shit back yeah it was like was your baby's only like one now right yeah 13 0.99

01:05:25.800 months so now is it is it kicking in now like that's usually when you're like what about number 0.99

01:05:31.260 two let's let's go gonna fire up the machines again literally she was like do you want to do

01:05:35.740 it this month and i was like can i just get the special out can i get let's get the special out

01:05:39.840 let's do like a weekend somewhere this has been like three years in the making yes between like

01:05:44.160 making a baby and also you know making the special and like let's just take a let's just take a

01:05:49.400 little vacation and you've probably been told this but you know like the difference between one and

01:05:54.140 two is large wait tell me what do you mean like well relationship with them no yeah no when you

01:06:00.100 just have one baby like in the beginning you're overwhelmed as you know but like by year one you

01:06:03.400 kind of get it down oh yeah and things are you know you can still have a life yeah yeah you can

01:06:07.720 still take a nap you and emma can still steal away for like an hour in the middle of the day yeah

01:06:12.660 while your one baby is asleep or somebody else would easily watch your one baby yeah but when

01:06:18.240 you have two babies, like under the age of three, you're effed. There's no napping ever. There's no

01:06:24.800 downtime. This is where you really start thinking about having live-in help. Like who can come live

01:06:30.300 with us so I can sleep again? I don't even remember three. It's like all a blur, but I,

01:06:35.640 I felt the difference from one to two was much larger than from two to three. Like you, you've

01:06:40.440 given up your free time when you have two. Got it. Got it. And like a third, even a fourth,

01:06:44.260 I think would have, I would have had a fourth if I had been younger when Doug and I had met, but

01:06:47.240 um one to two's big okay my my buddy said he goes he he he agreed on one to two he goes but two to

01:06:55.480 three because he just had his third he goes he goes man two to three he goes i don't know i go

01:07:00.180 what do you mean you don't know he goes you're outnumbered bro there's nothing you can do there's 0.99

01:07:05.060 nothing you can do they have you like you're with one this one's fucking around doing something you 0.80

01:07:10.420 just constantly need help yeah it is uh especially when they're but yeah we want to have another one

01:07:16.140 No, I, I remember early on in our tenure of having two, um, Doug went to see his mom one day, his, uh, went to visit his family, but it was just, just a day trip.

01:07:28.200 Yeah.

01:07:28.780 And it was the first time I'd been alone for like 12 hours with both of them, uh, without Doug being there.

01:07:35.680 I'm like, I'm good.

01:07:36.760 I'm fine.

01:07:37.240 Like I had a newborn and a two-year-old and like, honey, I'm, trust me, I'm, I'm the mother.

01:07:42.300 I've got this.

01:07:42.960 and um so i was pushing it was late in the day things hadn't gone that smoothly i'm not gonna

01:07:48.120 lie and i took them out for a walk and i was pushing the baby in her stroller and my two-year-old

01:07:52.440 was like walking next to me or he was on like that little ride-on thing that you can put on

01:07:56.480 your stroller like on his feet and uh he had this thing where he loved to take off okay so we're i'm

01:08:02.760 pushing the baby up a hill and he's on the little ride-on thing standing there and doug turns the

01:08:09.000 corner in his car coming home just at that moment right so he sees the whole thing so at this moment

01:08:14.460 yates our oldest did not see doug he was just doing his thing he takes off running and there's

01:08:19.420 a massive street straight ahead to to which he's running and i can't just let go of the baby

01:08:23.720 stroller because i'm on an incline like if i let go the baby stroller she's gonna go yeah but he's

01:08:28.660 running toward traffic the other way so all this is happening and there's doug and he kind of does

01:08:33.540 a gentle beep and waves and i was like oh oh hi oh oh like totally yeah and then finally i'm like

01:08:41.220 lock the stroller try to rescue the toddler i'm like i got it all under control

01:08:47.240 no he knew it wasn't true yeah you just gotta see the whole thing is so humbling isn't it yeah

01:08:53.300 as you add more and as they get older into the toddler years even more so it is amazingly

01:08:58.420 humbling that's the best way to describe it all of it right you don't know anything you know

01:09:02.600 nothing it's crazy they didn't give you the baby i remember when they first gave us the baby to

01:09:06.460 leave the hospital i was like how is this legal isn't there someone more qualified we are we are

01:09:11.240 not professionals at all like they just give you like here's how you wrap it all right have a good

01:09:15.340 good luck at home right i mean it's just so do you do are you an involved dad do you change diapers

01:09:20.460 oh yeah yeah i feel like you can't you can't really have an opinion on how it's raised if

01:09:25.080 you're not doing some of the things like obviously i'm at work you know yep so like emma

01:09:31.560 this was actually really hard for her i wonder if if you felt this way at all but like uh

01:09:36.460 you know my wife oh there you are there's my little shiloh she's so cute yeah so so emma's

01:09:41.960 like uh she's you know very like successful in her own right like she got her mba and then she

01:09:46.480 was working and managing uh ai uh projects for apple and then she was like i don't really want

01:09:53.020 to do this i want to be a mom and i feel a little guilty even saying that but that is the true thing

01:09:57.000 that i want to do with my life like it's always been my dream to be a mom and i was like listen

01:10:01.200 if you want to do it don't do it because i said it because then you'll resent me if you realize

01:10:07.480 that you wish you never should have quit your job yeah but if you want to do it then go for it

01:10:11.820 and uh it was like interesting watching her like grapple with that and that's something that i

01:10:17.600 hope changes in the very near future i think it's starting to yeah like i think that we should reward

01:10:23.960 mothers that stay at home in the same way that we reward mothers that go work and and value and

01:10:31.400 talk about yeah yeah i i feel like republicans are way ahead on that democrats i don't think

01:10:37.260 they're there yeah maybe not i mean it's just like when you go to certain countries that like

01:10:42.460 value i think it's also like a big city thing where there's not a lot of like family built

01:10:46.560 into it i grew up in new york city and it was very rare that there were like families there

01:10:50.060 and um so they're just the idea of it like a kid crying on the subway can be like bothersome to

01:10:56.420 some people and whereas like once you have kids you see a kid crying you're like oh it's adorable

01:11:00.420 i know bad for the parents but i hope that as the pendulum continues to swing with feminism

01:11:08.020 or masculinity or whatever these things are i hope that there is this place for moms that stay home

01:11:15.640 and it is a privilege but that they don't feel this kind of scrutiny i think it's like a really

01:11:19.940 totally agree thing if you can afford it to do yeah i couldn't agree more and also for guys who

01:11:25.080 are sensitive and empathic yeah but not man bun sand mandle murse this is the thing i don't get

01:11:32.860 about like the masculinity movement right now it's like a lot of these guys like at the at the

01:11:37.020 forefront of it like don't even aren't even dads yeah so it's like yeah okay you got like you could

01:11:42.800 deadlift like or some are just like you know or deadbeat dads i was gonna say they're producing

01:11:49.340 children but they're not even looking after yeah it's like why are you why do you get to decide

01:11:52.920 what masculinity is like i think that's like the least masculine thing you can do that's like a 1.00

01:11:56.540 coward that's right i was talking to rogan about this he says listen there's a lot of bitches out 1.00

01:12:00.040 there and even bitches need a leader of the bitches and i think sometimes we're mistaking 1.00

01:12:05.640 them for like being masculine guys it's like having muscles doesn't make you masculine like 1.00

01:12:10.180 to me being involved in your kid's life is masculine what i mean what tough guy ever tells

01:12:15.740 you how tough he is they don't they don't talk about that exactly like the greatest of all like

01:12:20.200 michael jordan never said he was the greatest he didn't need to we knew right so like when i see

01:12:24.400 like involved parents like one of the most beautiful things about this whole process even

01:12:28.400 talking about these things is like seeing how much people love their children and like feeling

01:12:33.920 really comfortable sharing that and they'll share these stories about when they first had their kid

01:12:38.400 and like seeing dads i mean this guy who's driving me and when i was in austin recently he was telling

01:12:43.240 me about how he does this like daddy daughter dates he has these two daughters and they each 0.96

01:12:46.540 get a different day and like that's the shit i would like to see promoted a little bit more in 0.98

01:12:51.460 the masculinity movement in america like don't tell me like how much time that you could like 0.99

01:12:57.380 jog yeah you know i don't care how many miles you could run how much money you have in the bank 0.99

01:13:01.800 yeah like i don't give a fuck they don't give i'll tell you one thing they don't your daughter 0.99

01:13:06.000 don't care well you do a very funny bit in life about how you you have there's so much pressure 1.00

01:13:11.740 being a dad to a daughter because one wrong move and she's on only fans yo and it's your fault you

01:13:17.260 missed a volleyball game it's and it's your it's daddy like there's no such thing as mommy issues

01:13:21.980 oh we have that okay let's watch that that's so funny it's hot i have a screenshot of the moment

01:13:26.240 i found out that i was gonna have a daughter if you want to see stress if you want to see pressure 0.97

01:13:32.540 put that shit up that's that's a real picture of knowing no matter what happens to your daughter 0.98

01:13:42.800 is dad's fault i miss one volleyball game she starts an only fans it's my fault 0.99

01:13:47.600 you're not wrong daddy issues is a thing what's mommy issues no it's not really i mean it can

01:13:57.560 happen but what is it it's not as much of a phrase we don't even know what it is like there's no like

01:14:02.520 if a kid shoots up a school we don't go i have mommy issues you know it's more like he can't

01:14:06.980 leave his mom i that's what i attribute to me that's awesome yeah yeah you did a good job being

01:14:12.540 a mom yeah wow your son loves you and has a deep connection to the most important human being and

01:14:17.800 like that's a positive effect now you're terrified of making the wrong move yeah like i don't know i

01:14:23.660 don't want like i i want my kids to be incredibly comfortable with their family not like waiting to

01:14:29.020 jump at the first person who's going to take them away you you wouldn't find it empowering for your

01:14:33.180 daughter to consider becoming a quote sex worker oh my god this was praised can we just call them 0.99

01:14:38.380 whores like i hate the fact that we're like making up these terms that make it seem more dignified 0.99

01:14:43.780 right it's whore right that's it well what about that girl on only fans i don't know her name but 1.00

01:14:50.120 she's the one who had sex with like a hundred people in a day and then like and she's now 0.98

01:14:54.400 going on a tour of nursing homes that's cool i like that i wondered how you're gonna react to 0.57

01:15:01.260 that i like it i had a crazy thing we do oh we actually my team is way ahead of me here here

01:15:06.000 she is and saw 24 her name is lily phillips my oldest fan via facebook and when i asked for his

01:15:15.000 address he actually sent me the address of a care home so i'm actually here with him and his friends

01:15:21.040 and i'm gonna show them a good time

01:15:22.980 so these they actually figured it out this is heroic i liked this no judgment no no no no no

01:15:34.660 they figured it out those are sex workers that's work that is no no no no this is i didn't know

01:15:42.640 that they were doing this when they were doing those like you know 100 girls or 100 dudes or 0.99

01:15:46.400 thousand dudes or whatever i'm like this is disgusting it is disgusting but but having sex 0.96

01:15:50.480 with old guys in old people homes yeah that is like that is altruism that is when we're talking 0.99

01:15:58.600 about charity that's what you're saying when she's ready that is charity that is beautiful

01:16:03.360 that is fucking beautiful i feel so uncomfortable with it yeah it's uncomfortable yes very but for

01:16:10.220 not for them those guys there oh oh they're so excited what do you think like you know could 0.95

01:16:15.960 they could die happy oh they'll die happy they'll also just forget it and then the next day that's

01:16:23.020 the sad part is they won't even remember it happened yeah i that's that's actually one of

01:16:26.340 my favorite jokes i heard a long time ago which was um uh like a 95 year old guy marries a 25

01:16:30.920 year old gal and goes to the doctor right before the wedding and he says uh is there anything i

01:16:35.200 need to know doc and the doc says yeah you know you should know that sex at this point could be

01:16:39.960 dangerous even lethal and he said if she dies she dies that's great yeah there's uh my dad is a

01:16:46.440 dementia and uh which is you know obviously very sad he's my hero and you know he's he introduces

01:16:50.760 me in the special and um but like during this time where em and i were trying to get pregnant

01:16:54.920 i would go over every week to see him and uh he'd be like how's things going and i'm like uh it's

01:16:59.600 you know rough trying to get um i'm just trying to get pregnant it's just not really going that

01:17:03.820 well and he would go uh he goes well if you need some help you know i can i can help you and he

01:17:08.740 would forget that he would say the joke and every week i would go over and he would offer to have 0.98

01:17:15.620 sex with my wife and put a baby in her so this goes on for like six months so this is now what 0.88

01:17:23.400 i will say is that might be like the negative side of dementia but one of the cool positives is um 0.71

01:17:29.200 and you know life is about perspective right you can have good perspective on even the worst things

01:17:33.880 like he gets to find out he has a granddaughter every single time i see him is that right yeah

01:17:40.800 now sometimes he'll kind of remember sometimes it might not be there but like that must be a

01:17:45.360 pretty cool feeling so you remember you yeah yeah yeah so his it's his it's it's hard building new

01:17:50.520 long-term memories okay like the way the memories it works is there's like short-term and long-term

01:17:54.780 and you can create new long-term memories just by continuous efforts so like repeating the same

01:18:00.220 thing over and over again with the table manners exactly reinforcement reinforcement constant but

01:18:04.900 uh but short term he doesn't really how old is he he's 81 so how long has he been dealing with

01:18:10.340 this honestly it started i think when i got out of college like even 20 years ago i started

01:18:15.760 noticing these things like very small but it was like oh something's kind of up and then so does

01:18:21.160 that does that make you worry for yourself do you ever think about it anytime i forget anything i'm

01:18:26.580 like i got it yep but i don't know if it exactly works like that right i know i i have such a fear

01:18:31.940 of this and my my mom doesn't have alzheimer's and my dad died too young for me to know you know

01:18:36.880 he died at 45 of a heart attack um but i worry about it so much because it's like it can happen

01:18:42.240 to anybody yep and it can even if you're using your brain as you do for a living as i do for a

01:18:47.400 living sure you're not immune it's got sandra day o'connor who's like i mean you're not there's

01:18:52.100 nothing more intellectually straining than being on the u.s supreme court yeah so it's just so

01:18:56.980 indiscriminate and it's terrifying to me some say diet yep diet i can really impact and sleep

01:19:02.420 every time i have a sleepless night i'm like ah it's over get my early alleys yeah it's coming on

01:19:07.880 yeah because you do you don't remember when you have a bad night's sleep you don't remember that

01:19:13.700 as well the next day i will say it it does kind of expose like uh your true character in a lot of

01:19:19.540 times and uh one of the cool rewarding things about it is just like seeing what like a good

01:19:25.200 human my dad is i've always thought he's like this angel but like a truly just good kind human

01:19:31.340 like he was my mom had to take his like debit card because he would like give uh the people

01:19:36.720 who sell the fruit in the neighborhood just money and forget he did it and then go back 1.00

01:19:41.580 oh and keep giving he was popular yeah these fucking assholes kept letting him give him 1.00

01:19:45.400 oh no that's low yeah that is low yeah that's so i made the call to trump and i was like we got 1.00

01:19:49.440 somebody you know i got a couple speaking of having murder people exactly oh that's i mean

01:19:56.240 that's good you take care of him you have a good perspective on it i always feel like if god for

01:20:00.000 this happens to me i've said this to doug you know please make sure i'm sitting in a room with all my

01:20:04.420 favorite movies just on loop yep and uh you know my favorite audio books just playing on loop like

01:20:09.560 i just keep enjoying these series over and over and over yeah i'm not sure that's exactly the

01:20:13.280 way it works but that's how i'd like to believe it's going to work it will but i don't think that

01:20:16.980 i don't know who knows what will happen i hope it won't happen but don't stress about it now i know

01:20:21.180 you shouldn't plenty of time to stress about it later well the other thing is you know there's 0.89

01:20:25.240 this is one of the things that rfkj has been talking about you know there's been such bullshit 0.84

01:20:29.620 going on in the public health world for so long and we talked about this about this on our show 0.57

01:20:34.220 four three years ago where this massive thing came out with this guy committed fraud in saying

01:20:40.100 they'd made this major breakthrough in Alzheimer's and that they really zeroed in on the amyloid

01:20:45.220 plaque. And then it turned out he had been faking all the photos to show this and they'd been

01:20:51.380 repeated. And he was like the gold standard researcher in all this. And now it's like it

01:20:55.800 was Alzheimer's research was set back by 15, 20 years. It's one of the other reasons why I just

01:21:01.700 feel so good. We have people in there now who will not treat any of this prior bullshit as, 0.91

01:21:07.320 you know godly and untouchable yeah you know jay bodhacharya who just took over at nih he's being 0.80

01:21:13.320 confirmed right now as his hearings are underway um they were like so you're not going to go back

01:21:18.720 and look at whether childhood vaccines are linked to autism right those are well settled studies

01:21:22.700 that it's there's no link whatsoever and to his credit he was like look i understand there's been

01:21:27.280 a lot of research on this but i'm not he basically said i'm not going to say never like i think

01:21:31.080 there's nothing wrong with going back and looking and then revealing the science to everybody i

01:21:35.380 think i think that the the most important thing that anybody that is representing a government

01:21:40.680 institution can do right now is be transparent about their failures and their successes so if

01:21:47.720 going back and looking at the research and then presenting studies shows that there is no link

01:21:53.300 that's awesome yeah now i trust it coming from you yeah i'm feeling concerned like i joke around

01:21:59.240 all the time like i believe whatever the last youtube video i watched this that that is what

01:22:03.120 i believe 100 i'm easily convinced like i'm locked in so if if you're if you're rfk if you're this 0.96

01:22:10.940 guy it's like just be transparent tell us where the fuck-ups were yeah don't gaslight us because 0.85

01:22:16.440 we've been gaslighted so gaslit so much that i feel like that it's completely dissolved our 0.78

01:22:21.440 confidence and confidence in these institutions and in order to have like a proud american public 0.99

01:22:26.020 we need something to be proud of we can be proud we fuck up too you can fuck up and we will forgive 0.99

01:22:33.800 you give us that opportunity yeah but I cannot forgive you if you continue to lie to me that's 0.99

01:22:39.040 right if you are not accountable for anything at all like and I think that's why Fauci he'll never

01:22:43.700 be forgiven that's why he probably took the he took the what's it called the science the the

01:22:48.360 pardon yeah it's like why do you even need to take the pardon yeah meanwhile I will say Elon's out

01:22:52.500 there like we did screw up we canceled funding for ebola nobody likes ebola but you know that

01:22:57.260 we're resuming that more of that i love that like to me instead of looking at that and hopefully 0.99

01:23:02.720 the opposition or hopefully democrats don't use that and be like see he's an asshole you should 0.96

01:23:06.560 use that as an example of how you should conduct yourself in public hey we messed up we're bringing 0.98

01:23:12.680 it back we're bringing those people back it doesn't sound like trump to me trump refuses to

01:23:16.940 ever do it he is the first one on which he explained the weave yeah it was right yeah that

01:23:23.080 was an amazing soundbite oh dude he was the i think the best moment of that whole thing to me

01:23:27.900 was when he goes uh i'm basically an honest person and i'll never forget that i think about

01:23:36.640 that once a day because it's actually the most honest thing you can say yeah if you everybody

01:23:42.440 looked at that like see he's admitting he's a liar and it's like no no no no no a liar would say i'm

01:23:49.380 an honest person i never lie yeah i mean well i don't know if this is true but they say like the 0.93

01:23:54.180 average person lies something like 15 times a day it's something ridiculous um but no that was a

01:24:00.560 great interview that you did with him and that we actually have a clip of it right let's let's let's

01:24:04.440 play it and we'll take a break you know i do a thing called a weave i don't ramble what you do

01:24:10.000 is you weave things and you do it you need an extraordinary memory because you have to come

01:24:15.120 back to where you started yes you always a weave is only good if you come back for that

01:24:18.900 that's true you could go all the way over here and then get back so far here or there

01:24:23.200 and i can come back to exactly where i started now someday when you don't come back to where

01:24:30.160 you started you're binding he he wasn't wrong like it was and he does do the weave and he does

01:24:38.980 managed to land it back i mean he's just the way he's like the way he constructs sentences is

01:24:44.520 different than normal people it's like whatever idea pops in he grabs onto it and he continues

01:24:50.160 and i mean you've been talking in front of a camera to millions of people for decades

01:24:55.420 you probably know by now like the people that you listen to are the ones you cannot predict

01:25:01.780 the next word they're going to say for better for worse right right you can't predict how he's

01:25:05.920 gonna finish this sentence oh god no it could start on ukraine and then he's like i had the

01:25:11.940 best falafel you know the thing about falafel is there's a place in new york mamoons we bought

01:25:16.520 that building it was a great building like it's just yes and i'm i'm locked in yeah you're you're

01:25:21.500 riveted the train is going yeah but he will get back to ukraine at the end he'll get back to

01:25:24.960 ukraine to his credit because that's that's the place where most of us fall apart you know you

01:25:28.460 lost your train of thought you're off you're meandering down a tributary you never get back

01:25:32.060 on the main river. Trump always does. All right, stand by. We're going to we're going to take a

01:25:35.820 little tributary now. We'll be back on the main river with Andrew Schultz, whose new special

01:25:40.200 Life is on Netflix right now. Go download it. Do yourself a favor. And we'll be right back with

01:25:45.820 Andrew. All right. Full time thoughts. Craig, who stood out? Brazil's lime cheesecake started

01:25:50.980 bright. Didn't let up. Nah, for me, Italian cappuccino was the standout in the box. But if

01:25:55.300 we're talking decadent performance, that's all France. Chocolate creme brulee had the richest

01:25:59.460 finishes. Canadian fireworks really showed

01:26:01.560 up big too. And Mexico's caramel

01:26:03.380 churro ice cap. Gave me chills.

01:26:05.820 We are, of course, talking about Tim's

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01:26:16.920 When your wife first gets pregnant, you have to go get a

01:26:19.240 baby-specific doctor called

01:26:21.060 OBGYN, right? 0.97

01:26:23.360 Which I didn't know what the fuck that was. I thought it 0.99

01:26:25.300 was more gay letters. I was like... 0.79

01:26:27.440 My wife's like, 1.00

01:26:29.220 we need OBGYN. I was like, why do we need a fucking gay guy to deliver the baby? What do 1.00

01:26:34.820 they know about this? It's not their jurisdiction at all. I want some gay doctor to open my wife's

01:26:41.100 legs like, ew, yucky vagina. Cross. That's amazing. I have to say there are a lot of women 1.00

01:26:52.820 to do it but i've never had a male ob-gyn yeah and i never want one my wife's dad is an ob-gyn

01:27:00.040 oh okay i'm like who's going to that i don't know some women are totally fine with it yeah he's not

01:27:06.220 looking at you as like not an individual no but i also as like a man i don't know why you want to

01:27:11.540 because like aren't you kind of seeing women like when it's at its roughest i i they don't see it 0.71

01:27:17.880 that way like i think they're able to distinguish between the moment they're with that personally

01:27:23.500 versus professionally yes of course of course i'm just saying like if you're going to the obgyn

01:27:28.060 isn't it like oh something's burning down here right like don't you see it if it's bumpy or 0.98

01:27:34.280 burning and now you're just seeing like vaginas that are messed up you know you got to go for 1.00

01:27:38.660 your annual exam checkups yeah they do the full the full checkup pap smear right that yeah and 1.00

01:27:44.260 you know they can get on up in there really no yeah what is a pap smear it's very unpleasant

01:27:49.300 they put like this like clamp thing in you and uh then they take like this long q-tip and they

01:27:54.220 rub the cervix and then put those like cells on a petri dish and sent it send it out to go see if

01:28:00.860 you have like early cancer oh so it's to see if you have cancer i mean among other things i'm sure

01:28:05.840 but yeah that's it i think it's for yeah yeah and you guys have to do that every year yeah well i

01:28:11.020 I mean, that's most of us go once a year.

01:28:12.780 Wow.

01:28:13.380 Now you can potentially go once every three years,

01:28:15.720 depending on like your health

01:28:17.020 and whether you've had this HPV vaccine.

01:28:19.660 That's very controversial.

01:28:20.840 We did a whole show on it, but in any event, yeah,

01:28:22.720 it's not pleasant. 1.00

01:28:23.680 It's not pleasant even when you have a female doctor 1.00

01:28:25.500 and they check you everywhere. 1.00

01:28:27.480 I've never seen a cock doctor in my entire life. 0.95

01:28:30.140 What?

01:28:30.880 I don't think we go to that.

01:28:31.940 Well, no, but doesn't your normal doctor though,

01:28:34.000 handle you and make you cough

01:28:35.180 and check for prostate issues?

01:28:36.780 But how funny is that? 1.00

01:28:38.100 just like the vagina has its own doctor and then i could just go to like a nerd like anybody with a 1.00

01:28:45.360 foot like a the stethoscope and get my balls checked well you're a lucky man because i'm 0.99

01:28:49.260 sure if you had a problem down there they would send you to a urologist and then he'd grab you 0.95

01:28:52.760 like a ketchup bottle and you'd be uncomfortable but yeah i guess yeah my problem was i guess

01:28:56.820 internal but yeah that's uh yeah wow i know the whole thing with the doctors is like very intimate

01:29:03.060 they they get right up in your space and like there's no way around it as a woman you you know 0.98

01:29:07.080 you have to let them check your lady parts and then you get to the age where i am and you got 1.00

01:29:10.880 to go for the mammograms and they grab your breast boob and they squeeze it down like a pancake it 1.00

01:29:15.500 hurts yeah and it's like they're squeezing it and then the woman's running out of the room to x-ray

01:29:19.400 you and you're like why am i stuck in here with all the x radiation yeah and they're telling you

01:29:23.480 have to do it once a year i don't know if i believe in it anyway i mean you do don't listen

01:29:27.020 to me i don't go to your for your mammograms i'm just saying like now i've had to start going i

01:29:31.160 think at 40 or 45 and do it for 10 years you have your do you have a breast cancer in your family

01:29:36.360 I mean, my Nana had it when she was 81,

01:29:38.960 which I don't think technically counts,

01:29:40.680 but it doesn't matter

01:29:42.160 because most of breast cancers come in families 0.68

01:29:44.380 where you didn't have a family history anyway.

01:29:46.440 Really?

01:29:46.940 Yeah, so you have to worry about it no matter what.

01:29:49.180 It's just one of those things.

01:29:50.720 You hate the annual physical for this reason, right?

01:29:53.220 You just got to start thinking

01:29:54.320 about all the things you don't want to think about.

01:29:55.760 Yeah, it just makes you face your mortality.

01:29:59.020 But you're still young, so I don't...

01:30:00.180 Do you get an annual physical?

01:30:01.940 I don't even know.

01:30:03.180 What do you mean you don't know?

01:30:04.120 Yeah, she'll just say things to me like,

01:30:06.120 it's been two years since you've been to the dentist.

01:30:08.140 And I was like, all right, I'll go to the dentist.

01:30:10.040 I don't keep up with any of these things.

01:30:12.420 It's bad.

01:30:12.660 Well, I mean, good dental health is very important.

01:30:14.720 Yeah, yeah, they say that.

01:30:16.160 And the longer you wait on that one, the worse it is.

01:30:19.040 And you have your teeth, right?

01:30:20.220 These are your real teeth.

01:30:21.640 It's so refreshing to see real teeth.

01:30:23.440 Thank you.

01:30:24.160 Don't you think?

01:30:25.060 The veneers are blinding.

01:30:26.620 It's too much, the veneers.

01:30:28.080 You need to go down a shade or stain them slightly.

01:30:34.120 do something yeah i'm not good at detecting them i actually just found out that most people are

01:30:39.120 wearing veneers who have that like those thousand watt smiles yeah i didn't totally know that yeah

01:30:44.200 now it's become so popular that i think it's actually going to have the reverse effect like

01:30:51.980 it's going to be like the kim kardashian butt where people start rebelling and i think we're

01:30:56.320 going to want to see natural teeth oh okay here's a here is a transition oh good tell me speaking of 0.96

01:31:02.000 the kim kardashian butt yes her ex kanye west yes has a different wife now bianca they may or may

01:31:09.200 not be getting a divorce there have been rumors and reports that they are but unconfirmed but

01:31:14.060 before kim i think and before bianca there was amber rose yes amber who wound up speaking at

01:31:20.560 trump's rnc yeah yeah and she gave an interview uh on club shay shay with shannon sharp and she

01:31:28.280 spoke to why Kanye

01:31:30.520 likes apparently having his

01:31:32.340 wives be naked in public 0.94

01:31:34.660 like a lot. What did 1.00

01:31:36.140 she say? Take a look.

01:31:38.540 Kanye's portrait of Johnson Carlin like that.

01:31:41.020 Yeah, he did the same thing to me

01:31:42.200 and Kim.

01:31:43.600 What is it about that that he wants

01:31:46.260 the world to know, look at my woman?

01:31:50.220 We can see. He wants other men to 0.99

01:31:52.200 want his woman. That's what he's into. 0.96

01:31:54.300 He likes that.

01:31:56.340 He likes that men 0.96

01:31:58.140 are like drooling over his woman.

01:32:00.660 That's what he's into.

01:32:01.460 Yeah, he wants all his friends 1.00

01:32:02.760 to want to fuck his girlfriend. 1.00

01:32:04.200 He wants everybody that 1.00

01:32:05.780 when you walk in a room 0.88

01:32:07.100 that his girlfriend or wife

01:32:10.180 is the most desirable in the room. 0.94

01:32:12.240 She's the baddest bee in the room.

01:32:13.340 That's what he likes, yeah.

01:32:16.060 And she said he did it to me, 0.60

01:32:17.400 he did it to Kim, 0.58

01:32:18.120 and he's doing it to Bianca.

01:32:20.120 What do you make of that?

01:32:22.020 That seems so odd to me

01:32:23.700 to want everybody to admire your woman so much

01:32:27.160 you you want her to go out naked in public yeah it makes me question like if he really likes her

01:32:31.760 or if she's just a tool for his own validation right to get attention yeah yeah he's Kanye's a

01:32:38.320 uh I'm just like exhausted by it to be honest like he's so exhausting but he's so good at

01:32:44.600 getting attention yeah like I'll just be so annoyed by him and then he'll like tweet a

01:32:48.260 couple things and I'll be like holy shit you see all the porn he tweeted no Super Bowl weekend 0.94

01:32:52.060 oh my god so all my all my friends were texting me like don't go on kanye's x feed which of course 0.97

01:32:57.780 you gotta do it go immediately of course what's he doing yeah and i could not believe my eyes 0.95

01:33:03.600 why he's actually posing porn porn i don't think it was him yeah it was a black man and a white

01:33:08.840 woman in the videos without the faces in most of them so i'm not sure yeah um but it was very

01:33:15.280 graphic triple x porn yeah all over his x feed yeah and i was like oh my god right so then i

01:33:21.880 logged off of that and it wasn't until a couple hours later that i remembered to mention it to

01:33:26.020 doug i'm like oh my god so he went back it was still up yeah like it hadn't been taken down

01:33:30.940 that's not surprised me because like there's a moment like the super bowl where he knows that

01:33:35.860 everybody's attention is going to be on somebody else oh so he's like i'm going to make this about

01:33:40.520 me oh that's interesting yeah i think it's a constant like thirst and need for attention i

01:33:45.040 don't even know if he's aware of that do you think the hitler comments are coming from the same place

01:33:48.740 yeah it's the same thing as maga like when maga was that radioactive he was like i'm gonna wear

01:33:53.820 the maga hat that's interesting he takes the most disliked radioactive fucked up thing and he's like

01:34:00.340 i'm so cool that i can make this cool and he's done that like throughout his life with fashion 0.84

01:34:07.900 and you know now he does it with like talking points and that kind of stuff but it's i think

01:34:12.720 just a reflection of like him thinking i'm so the man i could make hitler the man or it's coming

01:34:19.340 from this place of you're not going to tell me what i can or can't like yeah i have total autonomy

01:34:26.480 and freedom in my that i respect and like yeah that i like it's just there's other ways to prove

01:34:31.460 you're free right well there are a lot of people like that in the public you know conversation well

01:34:37.020 i would also go like are you really free if you need to do that right because now you're being

01:34:42.420 controlled the opposite well if you always have to do the most subversive thing the most controversial

01:34:47.800 thing people that are truly free don't need that yeah they feel the freedom so they don't need to

01:34:53.480 execute it every second people who don't feel free need to constantly prove that they're free

01:34:58.220 it's back to the old you know michael jordan didn't tell you what a great basketball player

01:35:01.900 he was he knew he was yeah like he knew he was i was actually with somebody from another sport

01:35:06.620 which i won't i won't reveal who it was because it would make it obvious but they were like i'm

01:35:10.300 the goat everyone knows I'm the goat and I remember thinking I don't think the goat ever calls

01:35:14.740 himself the goat no it's not a thing no so you've got this very successful podcast now in addition

01:35:19.820 to your comedy routines do you like what do you do on that show is there are there any limits is

01:35:25.080 there anything you do to make it a success somebody was just asking me this about my show and I was

01:35:29.280 like that's not how I approach it I just kind of do what I I just talk about what I want to talk

01:35:32.860 about yeah yeah I talk about what I want to talk about and then like I try very hard to not let

01:35:37.920 the algorithm dictate what we talk about yep and i feel like a lot of times now there's a lot of

01:35:43.720 creators that don't even realize that that algorithm is really dictating to them what

01:35:47.700 they should create they'll post a video or cover a topic and it will go crazy and then they go oh

01:35:52.340 i should cover that more and then you see people like lose their own personal creativity and they

01:35:57.160 just become this slave to the algorithm yes the problem is that when you're going to do the stories

01:36:02.940 you want to do you have to accept that some days the stories are going to go crazy and some days

01:36:07.900 They're not going to go crazy and your core fans will really appreciate it, but it's not

01:36:13.760 going to be this pure numbers game.

01:36:15.640 And that's been the thing that like, you know, we've, we've, we accept because authenticity

01:36:22.100 is like the most important thing to me, but it is one of those things that you got to

01:36:25.360 go, okay, well, okay, this isn't going to be as big a story.

01:36:27.400 We get that.

01:36:27.980 How can we be so interesting or so funny about it that maybe more people will find interest

01:36:32.840 in this thing that we're really interested in? 0.61

01:36:34.220 I really think that that is fool's gold, right?

01:36:36.700 just to go for the viral clip because it's it's like you might get a lot of subscribers or follows

01:36:41.840 or whatever or even just views or likes of that one clip but they're not real i'm so glad you keep

01:36:47.460 going this is great they're not going to say like that's why you see people who have a huge number

01:36:51.260 of subscribers on on youtube but very little engagement because their fans are not actually

01:36:56.920 like they just click to watch that one clip but then they're never coming back whereas if you

01:37:00.660 just work on doing good programming every day they're real the relationship between you and

01:37:04.680 the people watching is real they trust you and honor you and vice versa trust you they're here

01:37:09.740 and if you really care about something there are people watching right now that might not care about

01:37:14.140 it at all and the fact that you do they'll give it that little second they'll give it that minute

01:37:17.840 and they'll be like okay maybe i should care about this thing right i yeah i see this i see this all

01:37:22.700 the time it's like um and this is kind of like where you can see the grift a little bit where

01:37:28.240 there there are people that sometimes are popular because there's great social utility

01:37:33.520 right like there's a version where like this special has social utility and i might get popular

01:37:38.300 with some people because they're life on netflix check it out with andrew schultz i wasn't even

01:37:41.780 trying to plug but like maybe they're going through like ivf or fertility issues and they

01:37:44.900 feel like really seen or represented but so maybe for like a moment i'm very important to them but

01:37:50.160 then when that becomes more normalized less stigmatized they realize they don't really

01:37:53.740 agree with me on other issues so they're like okay i don't need you anymore it's kind of like

01:37:57.880 not to harp on shapiro like kind of what he's gone through it's like he had these great arguments

01:38:02.140 for conservatives at a time where it was like really radioactive to be conservative right it's

01:38:06.300 like there are these people that they like needed to defend their positions but you know they they

01:38:10.520 didn't have these they didn't have like the these like beautiful harvard like this like no fat at

01:38:18.340 all yeah awesome dart arguments which he's like really brilliant at making totally and he supplied

01:38:24.040 them and they were like oh this is the guy now it's not stigmatized at all to be a conservative

01:38:27.700 The majority of the country is conservative.

01:38:30.000 So now they're like, all right, well, we don't really agree with you on Israel-Palestine, so we don't really need you anymore.

01:38:34.620 You don't have social utility.

01:38:36.040 So he didn't build that bond with the audience.

01:38:38.040 I mean, his show is still huge and very, very successful.

01:38:40.500 Yeah.

01:38:41.140 Again, again, I'm saying like – I'm not saying that he's not, but clearly there's been some issues over there in terms like a fracturing of the audience.

01:38:48.500 And the fracture of the audience to me shows that they're not actual fans of him, but that there was social utility that he provided.

01:38:55.700 and then a quarter of them or 10%, 20%, whatever is now going,

01:39:00.280 well, I'll no longer need that social utility.

01:39:02.200 But it's not just him.

01:39:03.320 I'm saying it could be me.

01:39:04.960 It can happen to anybody.

01:39:06.140 And what you hope is you have this core, which he has his core.

01:39:09.540 You have your core.

01:39:10.280 I hope I have my core. 0.99

01:39:11.540 That will continue to expand when you create authentic shit that matters to you. 0.99

01:39:15.420 Yes. 0.99

01:39:16.040 Yeah.

01:39:16.360 Well, here's to doing that, a lot more of that.

01:39:18.800 And if you want to see Andrew do that, seriously, trust me,

01:39:22.640 check out Life on Netflix.

01:39:24.440 for many reasons we want to support him you will laugh your ass off and there is no way we can let

01:39:29.760 megan markle be number one it has to be andrew schultz so you get on there and you download it

01:39:34.540 over and over my friends please we're coming for kate hudson okay great to see you great to see

01:39:39.680 you thank you for having me joining me now is someone i've been wanting to interview on this

01:39:48.000 program for years he is one of the sharpest political commentators around someone who's

01:39:53.120 not afraid to take risks and has been politically incorrect for decades before it was cool.

01:39:59.380 And whether you love him or hate him, you pay attention to him. Joining me today is

01:40:02.940 Bill Maher. He's author of the brand new book that's just out today,

01:40:07.300 What This Comedian Said Will Shock You. He's also host of the long running show Real Time

01:40:12.800 with Bill Maher on HBO. Don't miss a moment. Subscribe to this show on YouTube and follow

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01:41:06.640 can your IRA or 401k weather an economic storm? If not, consider looking into Birch Gold. Just

01:41:13.120 text MK to 989898 and explore securing your savings today. Bill, welcome. I'm going to say

01:41:21.580 that book title is a lot funnier when you see it because it's supposed to mock clickbait. Of

01:41:26.620 course, I got it immediately. Okay, I know, but I've had book titles that went right over the

01:41:30.600 heads of a lot of the audience. This is the tease we used on Fox News for about two decades

01:41:35.180 without the words comedian. What you hear next will shock you. Right, exactly. I thought I would

01:41:41.600 bring it to the book world no i used to i used to joke that once you start talking and teases

01:41:45.980 you've been in tv too long right but i had a book a new rules book out about 15 years ago and the

01:41:51.280 subtitle was a polite musings from a timid observer which i thought was hysterically funny

01:41:56.380 but every disc jockey in america did not get it they just took it i was like okay no that was

01:42:02.220 understatement and it's supposed to be satire but never mind i'll just i'll just do a straight title

01:42:07.560 next time so my favorite new rules ever um comes from about i want to say about 15 years ago and

01:42:13.420 it was from the book when did that book hit uh there was a one out in 2005 and i think 2010

01:42:19.500 of course those are you know new rules books i call them toilet books because they're you can

01:42:24.240 read them on the toilet you know new rules are very different than this book this book is from

01:42:28.940 the editorials now i really redid all of them i mean i worked like i could never have done this

01:42:33.860 without the strike. The strike that we had last year gave me the time to do this. But this is

01:42:38.920 much more of a real book. The New Rules books were fun, but New Rules are short. They're punchy.

01:42:44.720 They can be about anything. They're not always serious. It's just, they're very random. And,

01:42:49.880 you know, again, you can pick it up on the toilet and read three or four of them. And that's that.

01:42:54.440 This is a real book. Not that the other words weren't real books.

01:42:58.500 What was I lured into in my previous purchases? Jesus.

01:43:02.000 No, they were fun.

01:43:03.440 But I feel like this one I'm more proud of than any book I ever did. 0.98

01:43:07.140 So speaking of The Toilet, my favorite new rule was, new rule, stop giving tickets to blind people for not picking up after their dogs. 1.00

01:43:15.360 You see, they would, but they can't see shit. 1.00

01:43:20.040 Yeah. 1.00

01:43:20.940 Right.

01:43:21.720 That was the new rules book.

01:43:23.940 They're funny and punchy, but this one I think people should treat like the Bible.

01:43:28.960 I think I should put it by their nightstand and read passages each night, and I think it'll help you through your life.

01:43:34.680 Well, in part, it's a diagnosis of what's going on with us right now.

01:43:38.880 And in part, to me, it picks up on something you said to me shortly before I came on your show after my own cancellation at NBC.

01:43:46.320 And you said, you seem to me, privately, you said, you seem to me kind of like me right now, which is somebody without a political home.

01:43:54.840 And I felt that way.

01:43:56.340 And I still feel that way.

01:43:57.380 I mean, I've been a registered independent forever, but I know exactly what you're saying.

01:44:00.380 It's just the world's lost its mind, and I certainly would never put on somebody's team jersey anymore.

01:44:04.820 Right, without a team.

01:44:06.260 Yeah.

01:44:06.480 Right.

01:44:07.380 And you know what?

01:44:08.160 I like it that way because I don't want to be a part of a team.

01:44:11.260 I mean, I would say I caucus with the Democrats more.

01:44:14.100 I definitely think the right wing is much more dangerous. 0.97

01:44:18.100 They don't believe in democracy anymore, and they threw their lot in with a sociopath named Donald Trump. 0.74

01:44:24.080 So, you know, no, he's not. 0.87

01:44:26.560 No, no.

01:44:26.880 So I just like, I want to talk about your feelings on Trump.

01:44:29.500 Yeah, well, there you go.

01:44:31.200 But this is how, so you and I are very similar.

01:44:33.240 I feel like you're kind of a four and I'm a six on the ideological scale.

01:44:36.360 We have a lot of overlap, but you're definitely still going to vote Democrat.

01:44:40.120 And I'm definitely going to vote Republican.

01:44:42.080 But there's enough commonality to make us shake our heads yes when the other one speaks a lot.

01:44:46.460 So you're going to vote for Trump?

01:44:47.780 I am going to vote for Trump, yeah.

01:44:49.060 Yeah.

01:44:49.400 I mean, I can't even understand that.

01:44:52.200 And I understand that Biden is deeply flawed, but he does believe in our way of life.

01:44:58.220 And, you know, I mean, I was the one who was saying from the very beginning when everyone was laughing at me that Donald Trump will never give up power.

01:45:05.040 And he didn't.

01:45:06.020 He still hasn't conceded the last election.

01:45:08.100 I don't know what could possibly be more fundamental to you or anyone than you have to concede elections.

01:45:14.920 And he hasn't conceded the last one.

01:45:17.060 He's plainly not going to concede this one.

01:45:19.060 He now has all of his sycophants around him parroting his party line, which is when they ask them, will you abide by the election results?

01:45:29.120 Yes, if it's a free and fair election, which is another way of saying if we win.

01:45:33.320 You really think this is a place this country should be?

01:45:36.580 I'm not going to defend the election denialism.

01:45:38.900 I'm not one of those people who believes that.

01:45:40.540 But what's more important?

01:45:41.340 What kind of country do we have? 1.00

01:45:42.600 How about my daughter not going into a locker room and seeing a man's penis? 1.00

01:45:46.040 That's important, too. 1.00

01:45:46.960 Very.

01:45:47.960 How about young men on college campuses getting due process when they get accused falsely

01:45:51.360 of rape?

01:45:52.360 Well, yeah, I think that's a false equivalency.

01:45:54.680 I think these things are- 0.99

01:45:55.680 Bullshit. 1.00

01:45:56.680 What do you mean? 1.00

01:45:57.680 I think these things are important, but you can handle these things through the normal

01:46:02.560 due process of our system.

01:46:06.040 But if we lose the system itself, come on.

01:46:08.200 But we didn't.

01:46:09.820 We didn't so far.

01:46:10.820 He tried it.

01:46:11.820 It failed.

01:46:12.820 Right.

01:46:13.820 had four years to put in place people who will make it work again. I don't know if there'll be

01:46:18.140 a John Rafenberger in Georgia, a noble Republican who stood up to him. He thought last time that he

01:46:25.000 could count on someone being just a Republican to do his bidding. And what he found out was that

01:46:31.960 there are a lot of decent people who are Republicans, which is something I'm trying to

01:46:35.820 tell the Democrats all the time. You can't hate, you can hate Trump. You can't hate everybody who

01:46:40.280 likes him. And you certainly can't hate half the country. And Republicans is not a byword for bad

01:46:46.600 people. And a lot of them stood up. I mean, even ones who I don't like very much, Mitt Romney,

01:46:54.900 McConnell, obviously Liz Cheney, Chris Christie, there were Mike Pence. These are what I call

01:47:03.640 as good as it gets Republicans for the people who don't like Republicans. They full-throatedly said

01:47:09.980 trump lost that election no two ways about it mcconnell said it wasn't even a particularly

01:47:16.220 close election people said it a lot of people said and but look i agree with you that the

01:47:19.960 majority of the republican party doesn't believe that but i do think there's a difference between

01:47:24.840 it was stolen you know the the nonsense with dominion voting machines and all that versus

01:47:30.460 it wasn't fair and what wasn't fair the election started what wasn't okay well the election 0.99

01:47:37.940 the suppression of a hunter biden laptop story just just for one oh for fuck's sake really oh 0.99

01:47:43.460 then then you're then we're not as alike as you think that's that's a stupid non-story i mean 0.98

01:47:49.520 yes who there are polls that show some 10 to 12 percent of the electorate says they would have 0.91

01:47:54.020 changed their mind had they seen it had they known about it wasn't right it wasn't right to suppress 0.99

01:47:58.400 it but nobody gives a fuck about about hunter biden's dick nobody you're talking about yourself 0.99

01:48:04.980 I'm telling you, there are data to show people did care. 0.99

01:48:08.680 They say they would have changed their vote.

01:48:10.720 Nobody who was going to vote for Trump anyway, or Biden anyway.

01:48:15.980 It wasn't about Hunter Biden's man parts.

01:48:18.460 It was about the scandal of his corruption and his dad's corruption.

01:48:23.340 Bill, I used to think that Hunter Biden was a hot mess, and Joe Biden was embarrassed by him but had to deal.

01:48:29.580 Now I really think he was doing Joe Biden's bidding.

01:48:32.460 Joe Biden is the bad guy who sent his drug-addled son out there to collect money.

01:48:38.360 That's what the laptop shows.

01:48:41.220 And that's more important than what I was bringing up about not abiding by election results,

01:48:46.280 not respecting what always made this country great, the peaceful transference of power.

01:48:51.740 See, I don't disagree with you on that.

01:48:53.020 You're not going to get me to say it was a great thing the way Trump behaved.

01:48:55.600 I don't have to get you to agree or disagree.

01:48:57.460 You're obviously someone who looks at an elephant and a mouse and cannot tell which one is bigger.

01:49:02.160 I disagree.

01:49:03.260 I know.

01:49:03.800 That's projection by you because I look at Joe Biden.

01:49:05.740 No, I mean, that's how I see you.

01:49:07.080 Well, let's talk about –

01:49:08.700 Why are you telling me this?

01:49:10.240 I mean, this is just typical right-wing talking points, the evil Hunter Biden and the evil Joe Biden.

01:49:18.660 And look, do I like them?

01:49:20.320 I don't particularly like them.

01:49:21.620 I think they're very flawed.

01:49:22.520 Listen, listen.

01:49:23.240 It's not nearly on the scale.

01:49:24.720 You're misstating my argument.

01:49:26.340 You're misstating my argument.

01:49:27.380 Hunter Biden just now on the laptop was brought up as evidence of how the election was not fair.

01:49:32.340 He's not a reason necessarily to not vote for Joe Biden.

01:49:36.020 The reason not to vote for Joe Biden is his policies.

01:49:38.920 You're not woke.

01:49:39.980 He's as woke, at least his policies are, as they come.

01:49:43.060 The open border bill? 1.00

01:49:44.840 How could anybody vote for somebody who keeps this border open with the number of rapes and the number of murders and the numbers of crimes going on with these immigrants? 1.00

01:49:52.060 But again, these are the normal sorts of issues we've always had in this country that should be taken care of through the normal process we've had. 1.00

01:50:02.840 You're talking about the difference between this and something fundamental, which is our democracy.

01:50:10.900 The fact that you have to respect who wins an election or else you don't have the kind of country we've always had before.

01:50:18.660 I mean, I feel like we keep going around the rose bush about this, and we're not going to make any progress.

01:50:25.160 So let's stop talking about it.

01:50:27.240 But, you know, I just I mean, you keep saying sort of I'm nuts because I don't see the difference between the elephant and the mouse.

01:50:33.440 And I'm telling you, I identify them differently than you do.

01:50:36.240 Hillary Clinton, of course, is the original election denier.

01:50:38.940 I'm sure you voted for her in 16.

01:50:40.780 Well, she's not an election denier. 0.97

01:50:42.460 She absolutely was the OG election denier.

01:50:45.820 First of all, she came out before the sun had risen to concede the election to Trump. 0.97

01:50:52.460 And then spent the next four years saying he was illegitimate.

01:50:55.940 He was an illegitimate president.

01:50:58.100 Okay.

01:50:58.700 Well, first of all, she didn't say he was an illegitimate.

01:51:01.580 Yeah, she did.

01:51:02.040 Tell me exactly what she said. 1.00

01:51:03.560 She said those exact words repeatedly.

01:51:06.940 Okay.

01:51:07.420 I mean, she conceded the election.

01:51:09.560 Whether you're interpreting her disappointment at losing it as the same thing as Trump not conceding it, I don't know if that's where you're getting it from.

01:51:21.340 But again, it's a tremendous false equivalency.

01:51:24.180 You could ask Hillary Clinton right now, who won that election?

01:51:27.160 She will tell you.

01:51:28.200 Donald Trump won the election.

01:51:29.340 Now she knows she has to because of what Trump has done.

01:51:32.340 She came out that night in her dark purple suit and conceded the election.

01:51:37.440 Correct. 0.99

01:51:37.560 And then spent the next four years trying to convince us it was not legitimate.

01:51:42.080 Just saying, look, it's not the same as Trump.

01:51:43.740 What Trump did was far more severe.

01:51:46.040 I'm not going to deny that.

01:51:47.280 But don't try to tell me that Hillary Clinton wasn't an election denier and Jamie Raskin

01:51:51.580 and a whole host of Democrats who are now in prominent positions on Capitol Hill.

01:51:55.900 Doesn't make it great what Trump did, but they don't have clean hands either.

01:52:00.180 But you bypass the immigration question.

01:52:02.200 I mean, like that a lot of Republicans.

01:52:03.740 I'm not bypassing it.

01:52:03.940 I think it's a disaster.

01:52:04.880 So how would you put this guy back in there for four more years to leave the doors open?

01:52:09.280 And like it was so much better under Trump?

01:52:11.540 Yes, it was better under Trump.

01:52:13.120 Are you kidding me?

01:52:13.800 It was somewhat better.

01:52:15.120 Oh, Bill.

01:52:15.740 It was somewhat better. 1.00

01:52:16.900 Go look up the immigration rates.

01:52:18.500 Yeah, I know.

01:52:18.860 Illegal immigration rates. 1.00

01:52:19.800 I agree. 1.00

01:52:20.360 For 2020, for 19 to 20.

01:52:22.420 I'm not defending Biden on immigration.

01:52:24.380 I don't understand why it's so difficult in this country to stop people coming through the border.

01:52:29.900 I don't.

01:52:30.240 And I watched that 60 Minutes piece.

01:52:33.060 They did on it a couple of months ago.

01:52:34.480 And they had films of people coming through this hole and the border patrol just watching them and basically waving.

01:52:43.000 I don't understand why.

01:52:44.860 I don't understand why this country can't accomplish something like that.

01:52:47.980 It doesn't seem like it's impossible.

01:52:50.260 But so many things in this country.

01:52:51.480 That's what's so aggravating.

01:52:52.580 We can accomplish it.

01:52:53.420 We can stop what's happening at the southern border.

01:52:55.860 We just won't under Joe Biden.

01:52:57.660 And he keeps pretending like he has no agency on it.

01:53:00.040 But he does have agency.

01:53:01.160 There are a lot of executive orders he could do just like Trump did.

01:53:03.600 he won't. And you know why. It's because of the people who use the word latinx who are trying to

01:53:09.680 lecture him that it's not humane to enforce our borders. Yeah, I would agree with that. The left 1.00

01:53:15.860 wing, because they're so afraid always of being called racist, they let that color every issue 0.95

01:53:24.900 and very often wind up with terrible policies that wind up not helping people. Don't you think 0.96

01:53:31.480 that's what's happening to him on the trans issue too, which is my big issue that I mentioned off

01:53:35.340 the front. Well, I think what Joe Biden is, is a guy who does not want to fight with the left wing

01:53:39.440 of his party. He sees that as, I don't think he understands a lot of what's going on in the left

01:53:44.840 wing. I mean, I don't doubt if he heard the word trans before he was president. But that's what he

01:53:52.860 has chosen to do. He does not want to fight with AOC. He thinks that's where the energy in the

01:53:57.020 party is, and he's not completely wrong. So he just kind of goes along with that kind of stuff.

01:54:02.680 Yeah, that's one thing that's not great about him. But again, in this country,

01:54:06.960 maybe gender is not binary, but politics is. You only get two choices.

01:54:11.860 That's right.

01:54:12.420 You get Donald Trump, a criminal election denier who is going to transform this country into an

01:54:20.380 authoritarian place like we've never seen before, or you get Joe Biden with all his flaws. 0.99

01:54:25.480 Also a criminal. 0.98

01:54:27.020 Okay. What is his crime again?

01:54:30.320 Special Counsel Robert Hurst said he'd committed felonies, but he wouldn't indict him because he was a well-meaning elderly man with a poor memory.

01:54:36.660 He couldn't get a conviction in front of a jury.

01:54:39.400 And what was that crime? That was the...

01:54:41.960 Classified documents. All over his basement, his garage, everywhere.

01:54:45.640 Well, okay. Again, a false equivalency. They both had classified documents. Here's the difference.

01:54:51.580 Immediately, Biden, he shouldn't have had them. Immediately, he said, oh, sorry, my bad.

01:54:56.440 and gave them back that's why he didn't get charged with obstruction but trump has two

01:55:00.620 classified documents pieces to his case one is you had them and the second is you obstructed

01:55:05.580 justice when we demanded them back so okay against biden you don't get charged with obstruction

01:55:09.740 but number one where's the where's the classified documents charged against him he's also a felon

01:55:13.840 you got your story you know i i i look if you see it that way that's that's that's what i have to

01:55:23.100 deal with you're asking me why i see it differently than you do the contest it's not convincing and

01:55:28.480 i'm telling it's not convincing it's fair fair enough i mean they both should not have had

01:55:33.440 classified documents one by the toilet one by his corvette okay one one multiple many no i'm

01:55:41.880 talking about one person okay one of them okay i'll copy right one trump one biden they both did

01:55:47.520 that the difference is goofus and gallant goofus said anything i touch is mine forever go fish

01:55:54.660 and the other one said oh yeah my bad and i'll immediately return them that's very funny you're

01:56:01.300 taking me back to my childhood with that reference but that why can't the difference be one actually

01:56:05.300 had the ability to declassify documents and keep them because he'd been the president

01:56:09.920 and one didn't because he should have been looking at documents only in a skiff while a sitting u.s

01:56:15.940 senator, and clearly he stole classified documents that he wasn't entitled to and never had the

01:56:21.500 ability to declassify them. Yeah. Maybe you know more about that than I do. I don't remember that

01:56:28.580 part of it, and I always don't trust anything I hear until I vet it from the other side,

01:56:34.440 because everybody sort of has their one-sided view of it, and narrative is more important

01:56:38.420 than truth. I know this is the right-wing narrative. I'm not like that, Bill. I care

01:56:43.840 about facts. I practiced law for 10 years. I want to get the cases right more than I want to

01:56:47.820 get clicks. And I have a lot of lefties who watch me. So I'm not like that. All I can tell you is

01:56:54.400 those are the facts. And Joe Biden also has behaved in a grossly, grossly extra constitutional

01:57:00.760 manner. Not only the nonsense of trying to skirt the Supreme Court on the eviction moratoriums

01:57:08.460 and the student loan, quote, debt forgiveness,

01:57:12.000 which he's bragging about skirting them on,

01:57:14.060 but the four indictments,

01:57:15.740 which obviously the White House was behind

01:57:18.020 and promoted and wanted.

01:57:20.220 Four indictments of a former sitting president,

01:57:21.920 which we've made it almost 250 years without doing.

01:57:25.320 If that's not extra legal and weirdly non-normy,

01:57:29.160 I don't know what is.

01:57:30.460 What are the four indictments we're talking about now?

01:57:33.440 The two federal indictments against Trump

01:57:35.320 and the one in New York and the one in Georgia.

01:57:37.260 Oh, you're talking about the Trump indictment?

01:57:38.380 Yeah, I'm saying this administration 100% was behind at least those two federal ones, and there's evidence they were behind the other two, or at least in coordination, though they deny it.

01:57:48.400 They were behind them.

01:57:49.640 It wasn't Trump committing those crimes?

01:57:52.260 Do you really think – you don't think that Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton could have been indicted for what they did when he left office with all the furniture?

01:57:59.020 I don't remember –

01:58:00.160 If somebody kicked the tires of the Clinton initiative, the foundation, you don't think they could find something?

01:58:04.600 I think they did kick those tires a lot.

01:58:07.220 I'm not sure what they found, but I don't think it was much.

01:58:10.880 I don't remember Bill Clinton ever calling up.

01:58:12.940 Hillary Clinton could have been indicted post her run.

01:58:15.340 As I was saying, I don't remember Bill Clinton calling up a secretary of state and saying,

01:58:20.700 I need you to fine me 11,000 votes.

01:58:23.000 You don't find that to be a bit of a smoking gun?

01:58:25.320 I don't.

01:58:25.740 Here's why.

01:58:26.260 Because I've listened to the whole phone call.

01:58:28.020 I have too.

01:58:29.540 And what he's saying is, I'm only behind by some 100,000, whatever the number was.

01:58:34.580 he said so i want a recount and what i i want you to start counting and all i need is this number

01:58:41.940 so basically once you get to that number you can stop counting look i i don't want to have to

01:58:45.780 defend defend trump on his denialism about the election because i'm more on your team on that

01:58:51.500 but i understand why it's not a smoking gun as you just put it

01:58:54.940 okay well you know people see things differently they do yeah so this is why you feel like a man

01:59:02.960 without a party because your team feels like you do on the Trump stuff. They hate Trump,

01:59:08.100 but they're not with you when it comes to your anti-wokeism. So where does that leave you? Who

01:59:14.700 do you go out to dinner with? Lots of people. I mean, I feel like more people than ever are on

01:59:20.240 team me, whatever that is, because they're the normies in the middle who don't want to be

01:59:27.680 ideologically captured by either side. That's who I feel like I speak for. People who are not afraid

01:59:33.700 to call out their own team, if you have a team, or a team that you are more on the side of,

01:59:40.800 when they do stuff that's goofy. And I think they appreciate it a lot. I mean, I notice

01:59:46.400 in my stand-up shows, you know, the audience is kind of half and half, and the liberals will

01:59:53.500 laugh at woke nonsense and the conservatives will laugh at trump jokes um most people in this

02:00:00.800 country i think understand that there are deep defects on both sides yeah uh and they just want

02:00:08.260 they just want the extremists who seem to have the megaphone on either side to go away or stop

02:00:14.340 being so powerful you know everybody is like why can't we just be you know common sense and why

02:00:19.780 can't we just be the people in the middle? But at the end of the day, no one sort of stands up for

02:00:25.880 that because it's just so easier to pander to the people who are a team because those are the people

02:00:31.960 who wind up scaring the other people. I mean, certainly on the left that happens. I've said it

02:00:36.860 many times. The problem with wokeness is nobody ever gets canceled for being too woke. That's how

02:00:42.140 you wind up with, men can get pregnant. Because you can say the most ridiculous thing. And 0.99

02:00:50.140 because no one wants to be the one who's called out on Twitter, they'll be like, oh, sure, 0.99

02:00:55.320 men pregnant. I've always said that. I saw a dude who was glowing today. It's just so ridiculous 0.99

02:01:03.720 what you can get away with saying and just the intimidation factor. And certainly on the right, 0.77

02:01:11.140 that happens too so you don't you don't seem like someone who's ever felt that have you have you

02:01:16.080 managed to escape ever afraid of blowback from your your own side well i i mean come on i've

02:01:24.500 been on 31 years it's comes with the territory every week when people say to me on saturday

02:01:29.720 how'd the show go last night i'd say if i'm not canceled today it went great you know i mean

02:01:35.680 they're always looking to take you down and the knives are always out. But, you know, I feel like

02:01:41.840 at this point, um, after 31 years, if they wind up getting me, okay, I had a pretty, I had a

02:01:48.940 pretty good run. That's right. And also I think there's just a lot of people who have my back

02:01:53.100 and, and they appreciate what I do and they appreciate me, uh, having that bond with my

02:02:00.160 audience that I don't pull a punch and I never will. And it's made me, you know, lose some

02:02:04.940 audience. That's true. I say it in the introduction of the book. I say, I have lost some people and

02:02:09.620 I don't miss them. Those are the more woke people who think I'm somehow betrayed them. And I didn't.

02:02:15.840 One reason I wrote this book was by going through all the old editorials over the whole span of the

02:02:22.080 show, I wanted to see, have I changed or has my politics changed? And I really think it's

02:02:28.660 not mostly me. I mean, the left was very different. Now, of course, the right got way worse also. We

02:02:34.740 We won't go back into they don't believe in democracy.

02:02:37.020 We just had that discussion.

02:02:38.320 But that certainly is way worse in my view.

02:02:42.120 But the left, yes, went off the deep end also in their own way.

02:02:46.640 And so what I always tell people who are Democrats and liberals is you don't have to lecture me about Donald Trump.

02:02:55.960 I'm the one who I think who was sounding the alarm bells before anybody.

02:02:59.860 But I also get why people vote for him.

02:03:02.020 I absolutely do.

02:03:04.740 Because the stuff that, for example, you just said penises in the swimming pool and the stuff that is threatening to people that comes from the left is so much more in their everyday life.

02:03:17.400 It's not vague.

02:03:19.400 Like to most people, oh, Trump and democracy, it's a vague thought.

02:03:24.940 And Ukraine, that's very far away.

02:03:27.260 Was it impeachable?

02:03:28.280 Who knows?

02:03:28.820 But I know about my kid coming home from school and saying, well, they're telling me I can't tell you if I change my sex.

02:03:39.980 Or saying, as we discussed on your show when I was a guest, suggesting to your perfectly normal son that he might be a girl at my all-boys school.

02:03:49.320 They kept asking them over and over, raise your hand.

02:03:52.020 Where are you on the scale of girl to boy, zero through five?

02:03:54.960 I did an editorial only like three weeks ago, and I used the word entrapment. I mean, it was about comparing what goes on in the schools with entrapment. I don't think anybody had ever put it that way. But entrapment in the law, I'm sure you know this better than I do, means suggesting someone into a crime.

02:04:13.980 Something they wouldn't have thought of to do anyway.

02:04:17.080 I mean, I used the example of after 9-11, there were a number of cases where law enforcement basically entrapped people who were not really going to be terrorists.

02:04:26.920 The one case I mentioned was the Liberty Seven, seven guys in Liberty City, Miami, a poor section of Miami.

02:04:34.120 And they basically went to them and said, you know, wouldn't it be cool if you blew up the Sears Tower in Chicago and taught the man a lesson?

02:04:43.600 And these guys who didn't even have a gun, probably the only guys in the neighborhood who didn't have a gun, said, yeah, that would be pretty cool.

02:04:56.160 That's entrapment.

02:04:57.080 And I was saying, look, when you constantly talk to little kids about sex and gender and constantly put out the idea that maybe the body you're in is not the correct one aligning with what's in your mind, that's entrapment.

02:05:14.300 That to me is the same thing.

02:05:15.720 You're suggesting them into something they wouldn't have thought of anyway, because I promise you when I was a kid, it never crossed my mind.

02:05:22.040 I never thought, huh, maybe I am a girl.

02:05:25.540 I mean, I thought a lot of, you know, how could I learn how to talk to a girl? 1.00

02:05:29.980 But even at that age, we didn't want to talk to a girl. 0.99

02:05:32.940 We had not reached puberty yet. 1.00

02:05:34.580 See, this is where it's just so frustrating to me because I looked at that Biden event where he had all the trans people out in front of the White House. 0.99

02:05:47.160 and it's like some trans, 0.99

02:05:48.760 it's a guy with fake breasts 1.00

02:05:50.620 showing his naked breasts on cam, 1.00

02:05:53.120 like on the White House lawn. 0.99

02:05:55.160 It was like National Trans Day of Visibility, 0.96

02:05:57.740 which is every day in America now. 0.97

02:05:59.680 And they're on the White House.

02:06:01.360 It's like, would you have some dignity?

02:06:03.980 Could there be some dignity and decorum?

02:06:08.200 And I realize you could make the dignity argument

02:06:10.980 over on the right too.

02:06:11.980 Trust me, I get it with Trump.

02:06:14.120 But that's why I look at Biden.

02:06:15.160 And I'm like, how do we get stuck with this, right?

02:06:17.800 Like how, why didn't the Democrats replace him?

02:06:20.180 And why did the Republicans re-nominate Trump?

02:06:22.240 I think it's, I think I know,

02:06:23.440 I think they thought he was the strongest candidate,

02:06:25.300 the one who could sort of be the strongest leader

02:06:27.380 and take Biden down.

02:06:29.620 But I look at Biden and I feel like the Democrats

02:06:31.740 really could have made a switcheroo.

02:06:32.980 I know he didn't want to give it up,

02:06:34.240 but they could have made a switcheroo.

02:06:35.320 I mean, my first show back after the strike ended,

02:06:39.000 which was last September,

02:06:40.160 the first editorial I did was called Ruth Bader Biden.

02:06:43.320 I was the one who coined that phrase.

02:06:47.020 I was saying if he continues on, if he doesn't get out of the race, he's going to be Ruth Bader Biden.

02:06:53.120 He's going to be the person who hung around too long, destroyed his legacy and probably the country with it.

02:07:00.020 But he's got to get out now because, you know, too long at the fair.

02:07:05.200 We get it.

02:07:06.080 Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a justice the liberals loved.

02:07:09.920 And I'm sure she did some great things and was a pioneer. 0.79

02:07:12.160 But her ego would not let her go away.

02:07:15.980 And, I mean, the story goes, Obama had her to lunch once, like I think in 2013, and was kind of hinting around, hey, wouldn't it be great if you spent a little more time with the grandkids?

02:07:31.060 What do you think, huh?

02:07:32.440 And she didn't take the hint and thought she'd live forever, which was really crazy because she had been through a lot of really serious medical issues.

02:07:40.760 And then, of course, it happened. And then, of course, Mitch McConnell, who would not even give Merrick Garland a hearing, which was talk about unconstitutional, suddenly, of course, found it in his heart to push through Amy Coney Barrett immediately.

02:07:58.980 So that's what you get for trusting the other side. So I thought he should step down. But apparently that hasn't happened.

02:08:05.360 I would hope the Democrats, some of them would think it's still not too late.

02:08:10.200 You could do it before the convention.

02:08:12.200 I mean, weirder things have happened in American politics, and I don't think anyone would bat an eye that it was out of the ordinary.

02:08:20.900 So what?

02:08:21.580 We don't care. 0.84

02:08:22.300 America loves new.

02:08:24.600 I've always suggested that to candidates.

02:08:26.680 I said that about Chris Christie.

02:08:28.640 He should have ran when he was popular in, what was it, 2012?

02:08:33.140 Yeah, and he said, it's just not my time.

02:08:35.080 He was hugely popular.

02:08:36.560 The longer you stay around, the worse you're going to do, because they have more to get you on.

02:08:42.680 Obama, they said the same thing.

02:08:44.060 He's only been a senator a couple of years, and he went, good.

02:08:46.840 You don't know that much about me.

02:08:48.500 Great.

02:08:48.860 America likes new.

02:08:51.040 Chris Christie before Bridgegate, before Beachgate, all those pictures were just devastating to him.

02:08:56.560 And then all the Trump lapdoggery, which really kind of sunk him.

02:09:00.260 And Trump came along.

02:09:01.560 I mean, he could have been the guy. 0.59

02:09:02.600 I remember with Trump, he was like, I love him, I hate him, I love him, I hate him.

02:09:05.700 And then, you know, when you're like, it's like, and Romney too.

02:09:09.400 And that was another start of like his breakup with the Republican Party where, you know, he was like blowing with the wind.

02:09:16.520 But yeah, no, I agree.

02:09:18.120 It's not too late.

02:09:19.080 If I were a Democrat, I'd be begging for them to sub in somebody else.

02:09:21.780 Even Kamala might be better at this point, although I doubt it.

02:09:24.680 I don't know, though.

02:09:25.560 You know, everybody talks about Michelle Obama as the big hope, and she doesn't want to do it.

02:09:29.240 No, she doesn't want to do it, and I don't blame her.

02:09:32.600 and they already served i mean so what do you think is going to happen

02:09:35.920 well i i know one thing i can guarantee will happen is that trump will say he won whether

02:09:45.040 he won or lost i agree with that well that's not a good thing for america is it i think on january

02:09:50.240 20th 2025 he'll show up at the white house whether he's invited or not and i don't think

02:09:56.740 that's going to be good we're now he's gonna bomb in if he lost yes oh yeah bomb is a word i wouldn't

02:10:04.560 even throw around lightly he's not gonna do that right like there was never an attack on the

02:10:09.980 capitol oh i hear you i hear you but he's not going to show up at the inauguration show up at

02:10:14.680 the capitol and break windows and knock down doors and kill cops and chase and they didn't

02:10:22.320 break windows. They didn't kill cops. They of course did. No, they didn't. Who did? They died

02:10:26.960 of natural causes that day? Yeah. Nobody died that day. Cops. No, not true. Okay. Oh, I don't

02:10:34.780 remember the names. They didn't. There was Brian Sicknick who died later after the fact. And the

02:10:41.860 coroner's report did not say it was because of what he had inhaled that day. He said it had

02:10:47.080 possibly accelerated the condition that killed him. Okay. Well, attacked cops. I thought they

02:10:51.900 I thought they were the law enforcement people.

02:10:55.020 You know, how did we get to this place?

02:10:58.220 I mean, Trump now says he's going to pardon all those January 6th insurrectionists.

02:11:03.080 Because who wants to live in a country where the people who try to overthrow the government are seen as the bad guys, huh?

02:11:08.240 They weren't insurrectionists, Bill.

02:11:10.720 They weren't? 0.95

02:11:11.340 They were a bunch of numskulls. 1.00

02:11:13.160 They chased, oh, that's so stupid. 1.00

02:11:15.460 They chased duly elected representatives out of the building and wanted to hang the vice president for certifying the election. 1.00

02:11:23.240 That's not an insurrection?

02:11:24.480 The people who engaged in violent acts or actually made threats along those lines are all being prosecuted appropriately.

02:11:31.080 And I've said repeatedly, I hope they get the book thrown at them, and they've had it. 0.75

02:11:34.600 You're so upset about the entrapment that happened of the Muslims after 9-11. 1.00

02:11:38.020 How about the entrapment that happened to some of those J6 protesters? 1.00

02:11:40.880 Wait, wait, wait. Let's go back to what I'm upset about with the Muslims. 1.00

02:11:44.520 That we talked about after 9-11 and the feds getting involved. 1.00

02:11:48.280 Oh, yeah.

02:11:49.820 So entrapment. 1.00

02:11:50.880 They weren't Muslims. 1.00

02:11:52.080 They were just guys. 1.00

02:11:53.220 All right.

02:11:53.580 Well, my point is there are I'm not going to again, you're making me defend things that I.

02:11:59.620 Then you shouldn't that are horrible, but don't defend them.

02:12:02.560 Why defend them?

02:12:03.360 Because it's more nuanced than you're suggesting.

02:12:05.620 They were not insurrectionists.

02:12:06.740 There was never any possibility that they were.

02:12:09.800 I've heard you refer to it as a attempt to take over the government.

02:12:12.860 It wasn't going to happen.

02:12:14.520 It was a protest.

02:12:15.840 They broke into the Capitol.

02:12:18.040 They broke into the Capitol.

02:12:19.780 They opened the doors and let them walk in.

02:12:22.040 Security was waving them in one after the other.

02:12:24.300 I can show you the footage of them knocking through the gates.

02:12:27.360 I can show you the footage of many of them being welcomed in by cops, Bill.

02:12:33.120 See, that's the difference between the two of us.

02:12:34.480 Once they broke down the doors.

02:12:35.120 I will make a distinction between those who truly behave badly and those who thought they were having a good time in Statuary Hall.

02:12:41.260 Yeah, there were some people who just came to meander and wander around.

02:12:45.340 That's true.

02:12:46.920 I've seen the documentary that Alexander Pelosi did on it.

02:12:50.820 It's interesting because a lot of them were just like, oh, yeah, it's an interesting place to go, and let's see what happens.

02:12:56.180 There's also footage of people, and there were people who absolutely intended to stop that election.

02:13:01.640 Absolutely.

02:13:02.620 So I don't know what you would call that.

02:13:04.520 Maybe you don't like that word insurrectionist because it got too, I know, it's too anti-Republican, but that's what it is.

02:13:11.260 I don't agree with you.

02:13:12.840 The legal definition of insurrection, they don't meet, and that's why it wasn't actually charged.

02:13:17.820 It's a leftist dream to try to make it sound even worse than it was.

02:13:21.680 These leftists who didn't care at all when their people were out on the roads killing cops, actually killing, hurting cops, killing others in the BLM protests, suddenly found their conscience when it happened on J6.

02:13:34.320 Killing cops is always wrong.

02:13:36.380 Doing it in the service of trying to overthrow the government of the United States is a little bit different.

02:13:42.140 It wouldn't happen because we were lucky it didn't happen.

02:13:46.200 They tried to make it happen.

02:13:47.420 Attempting to commit a crime is bad.

02:13:49.560 Trump tries to commit crimes all the time, like this one.

02:13:52.500 The fact that he doesn't succeed doesn't make it better.

02:13:56.440 It makes it better for the country.

02:13:58.000 Let's see what happens next time.

02:13:59.320 But, you know, we are not exactly like the detective and the serial killer.

02:14:03.180 Oh, we're a lot more alike than you think.

02:14:05.240 We're actually not that alike, I think.

02:14:07.080 I think you're right.

02:14:07.860 Yeah, I agree.

02:14:08.760 We see a very different reality, which is fine.

02:14:11.780 I mean, that's...

02:14:12.400 It is fine.

02:14:13.420 We have to be able to talk and disagree and still be civil.

02:14:16.860 I think we're doing a good job.

02:14:18.500 Yeah.

02:14:18.760 We're having a robust discussion.

02:14:19.880 We're doing as best as we can.

02:14:21.140 That's right. 0.54

02:14:27.860 Now, let's talk about universities and Hamas and Israel, because I know you've been, I

02:14:33.080 think, very strong on this issue.

02:14:34.380 Yes.

02:14:35.240 We won't have to fight anymore.

02:14:37.420 So how do you, there's always common ground.

02:14:39.920 How do you see, how did we get there?

02:14:43.780 Right where we've got people in the scarves with the Hezbollah and the Hamas flags chanting at Jews that they can't go to class.

02:14:51.520 Again, for people who say to me, you know, you make fun of the left more than you used to.

02:14:58.640 Yes, I do.

02:14:59.960 First of all, I'm a comedian and you're a lot funnier than you used to be.

02:15:03.620 not intentionally, but you are, you know, not just pregnant men and identity politics and

02:15:11.380 oversensitivity and victim culture and cancel culture. There's lots of funny stuff. But if I

02:15:16.160 ever needed a reason or a rationale for making the case that the left has changed, it would be

02:15:24.740 this, the fact that they're now marching for the terrorists. Really? Right. The people who see

02:15:32.220 themselves as the most liberal people in the world. The social justice warriors are standing

02:15:39.180 with some of the most illiberal people in the world. I mean, I'm going to do my next editorial

02:15:46.560 I'm going to do when I get back to work at my day job is about, look, kids, I know you're looking

02:15:53.580 for a cause. And that's admirable that kids want to have a cause. I got one for you. Women,

02:16:00.480 women around the world especially in muslim majority countries hamas i mean really you're

02:16:08.260 marching for hamas do you know that there are no equal rights for women as regards

02:16:12.340 almost everything you could imagine speech you not voting um free movement divorce um property

02:16:22.780 rights uh freedom from sexual harassment freedom from sexual violence i mean every possible thing

02:16:30.240 that is a left-wing cause, they violate.

02:16:35.460 But those are the people we want in charge.

02:16:37.980 Those are the people we want to control from the river to the sea.

02:16:43.020 Even the people, of course, under the rule of Hamas hate them. 0.94

02:16:47.380 It's a fascist dictatorship. 0.96

02:16:49.680 It's worse. 0.97

02:16:51.740 It's a fascist dictatorship with a hard right religious bent. 0.96

02:16:56.600 It's like the worst of all worlds.

02:16:59.380 And those are your heroes.

02:17:00.700 That's right.

02:17:01.160 And they're out there.

02:17:01.860 I mean, it's gone beyond.

02:17:02.800 Of course, they were praising, as you know, on TikTok, the Bin Laden letter and doing the Muslim call to prayer five times a day. 0.53

02:17:08.840 These are people who are probably in Catholic mass for most of their formative years or Christian mass. 0.97

02:17:15.080 Now they're down on the prayer rug having absolutely no idea if you move to one of those countries where that's practiced in the Middle East, they're going to mutilate your genitals. 0.99

02:17:23.000 Say goodbye to sexual pleasure because that's what the people you're praying to push. 0.99

02:17:27.660 Just ask Ayaan Hirsi Ali, who I know you know.

02:17:29.820 Yeah.

02:17:30.300 I saw the funniest meme.

02:17:32.120 It was two panels in the top one. 0.93

02:17:34.880 It said, you know, queers for Palestine, you know, because they have that banner. 0.97

02:17:39.420 No, it's ridiculous. 0.99

02:17:40.360 And on the bottom, it's a guy getting thrown out the window, Palestine for queers. 1.00

02:17:46.020 Right out the window. 1.00

02:17:47.160 Well, I pulled this clip because it turned out to be a very famous clip.

02:17:52.380 And Sam Harris is in it.

02:17:54.280 Ben Affleck is in it.

02:17:55.320 You know, the one I'm talking about.

02:17:56.580 Oh, yeah, from 2014, I think, yeah.

02:17:58.920 It went totally viral.

02:18:00.200 And, you know, as usual, on a lot of these issues,

02:18:02.380 we were ahead of the curve in sort of identifying,

02:18:04.700 no, there's actually a problem here that we're not acknowledging.

02:18:06.920 I'm going to play it. Watch it.

02:18:08.360 We have been sold this meme of Islamophobia

02:18:11.040 where every criticism of the doctrine of Islam

02:18:14.440 gets conflated with bigotry toward Muslims as people. 1.00

02:18:18.280 Right. 0.99

02:18:18.380 And that is intellectually ridiculous. 0.94

02:18:21.880 So, hold on, are you the person who understands 0.96

02:18:24.300 the officially codified doctrine of Islam?

02:18:26.580 You're the interpreter of that, so you can say, well, this is...

02:18:28.940 I'm actually well-educated on this topic.

02:18:30.800 I'm asking you.

02:18:31.620 You're saying that Islamophobia is not a real thing.

02:18:35.460 That if you're critical of something...

02:18:37.120 Well, it's not a real thing when we do it.

02:18:38.800 Right.

02:18:40.000 It really isn't.

02:18:40.820 I'm not denying that certain people are bigoted against Muslims as people.

02:18:44.460 And that's a problem.

02:18:45.420 That's big of you.

02:18:45.960 But the...

02:18:47.500 But why are you so hostile about this comment?

02:18:49.140 It's gross. 0.95

02:18:50.100 It's racist.

02:18:50.760 It's not.

02:18:51.520 But it's so nuts. 0.99

02:18:52.500 It's like saying, so not your shifty Jew. 1.00

02:18:55.140 You're not listening to what we are saying. 0.96

02:18:58.000 And we have to be able to criticize bad ideas.

02:19:00.120 Of course we do.

02:19:01.020 No liberal doesn't want you to criticize bad ideas. 1.00

02:19:02.460 But Islam at this moment is the motherlode of bad ideas. 1.00

02:19:05.460 Jesus Christ. 1.00

02:19:08.460 That was amazing television.

02:19:11.100 Sam Harris was totally right.

02:19:13.060 Yeah, and it is about ideas.

02:19:14.640 And again, this is one of the big problems with the left today,

02:19:17.760 is they see race in everything.

02:19:20.760 So, you know, nothing ever, and again,

02:19:22.720 And as the guy who is trying to, like, be the common sense person in the middle, just speak for the normies, everything, I think, to a lot of people strikes it the way it strikes me, as we start with one thing, this idea over here, and then we're all the way on the other side over here.

02:19:39.000 In this issue, of course, you know, as we were saying over there, there are people who are bigoted, and that's wrong.

02:19:45.700 And, of course, it's great that we got more impatient with racism in this country.

02:19:51.200 That is the appropriate response I think we should have toward racism, being impatient with it.

02:19:56.740 And then it goes all the way to, and no one who is a person of color can ever do anything wrong.

02:20:05.180 That's how you get, we don't talk about China. 0.86

02:20:08.380 North Korea starves its people. 0.98

02:20:11.420 China puts the Uyghurs in concentration camps. 1.00

02:20:14.940 The president of Burundi was on the front page of the New York Times a month ago saying we should march the gays into football stadiums and kill them for just being gay. 0.99

02:20:29.040 Boko Haram captures entire villages of children, but none of these crimes are coming from white people. 0.99

02:20:35.040 So crickets. Really, kids? Nothing? No marching against any of this? 1.00

02:20:43.180 You raise this point in the book, too, and I thought it was a really good one, about how when we do our, you know, look back at history, only the whites get excoriated for their bad behavior 200 years ago. 0.73

02:20:56.340 It's like, wait a minute. 0.63

02:20:57.240 Yeah, Genghis Khan was pretty rough.

02:21:00.100 You know, talk about colonizers.

02:21:02.600 I think 11% of certain, was it the whole earth or maybe it's Asia? 0.77

02:21:08.540 Yeah, I think it's the earth.

02:21:09.720 Like a descendant? 1.00

02:21:10.700 descended from Genghis Khan because he colonized a lot of vaginas. I mean, yeah, I mean, look, 1.00

02:21:17.920 it was a different era. I also, there's a couple of really funny editorials, essays in that book

02:21:22.940 about time and the idea that the woke have this crazy idea that people who lived 500 years ago

02:21:30.920 really should have known better. They have this magic moral time machine where they imagine what

02:21:37.260 they would be doing in 1758 and it's always better than... And it wouldn't have been using

02:21:42.480 the term master bedroom. No, that's another thing, yes. And again, that's another point I'm always

02:21:48.540 trying to make is that the difference between old school liberals like me and the woke is things

02:21:54.360 like that. People, I think, have this idea that wokeness is an extension of liberalism and it

02:22:00.120 very often is something that goes so far, it actually turns around and becomes the opposite.

02:22:05.060 yes i agree with that yeah uh the thing that you just mentioned about master bedroom or

02:22:13.060 you know blacklist or these terms of thumb jip you know i mean reservation i guess we're not

02:22:19.140 supposed to say because it's you know insulting to the indians i don't what are you supposed to

02:22:25.060 say when you go to a restaurant there's something wrong with picnic too we're not allowed to say

02:22:28.820 picnic anymore. I can't remember why. We have a, we're supposed to eat here. It's just, it's just,

02:22:35.980 so again, wokeness seems a lot about canceling people, catching people at something, renaming

02:22:42.540 stuff. Liberalism was at least about trying to fix things. It was about trying to lift people up.

02:22:48.140 The people who had been forgotten genuinely, and there are many of them, and downtrodden,

02:22:53.160 these are the people we wanted to lift up. That's different than just pointing fingers and saying,

02:22:58.820 I'm more pure than you are

02:23:00.820 and I think I can prove it

02:23:02.140 you never want to get into a

02:23:04.200 who hates racism the most contest

02:23:06.880 with someone on the woke left

02:23:09.360 it's like you know what

02:23:10.660 I hate it too

02:23:12.220 shouldn't that be enough 0.99

02:23:14.260 except I also hate anti-white racism 0.94

02:23:16.460 unlike them 0.97

02:23:17.320 that's the problem

02:23:18.240 things have changed

02:23:20.140 there's an essay in there about progressophobia

02:23:23.740 which was Steven Pinker's great term

02:23:25.680 that he coined

02:23:26.200 that it is a real problem on the left

02:23:28.200 They do not want to acknowledge progress, which is crazy because it is the product they're selling.

02:23:35.100 Because somehow in their mind, if you acknowledge progress, then you're not as pure as the other person who says, no, things are still horrible.

02:23:43.120 Well, lots of things are still horrible and things just objectively are way better.

02:23:48.060 Can we just live in the year we're living in?

02:23:50.480 That's what I'm always saying.

02:23:51.640 Just live in the year we're living in.

02:23:53.320 Did you see that Biden speech at Morehouse College?

02:23:56.780 No.

02:23:57.180 it's an it's a it's a black college and it he went they gave him an honorary degree it's where

02:24:03.760 mlk went this is when just this past weekend so they gave him an honorary degree and he did you

02:24:08.640 know gave a speech and first of all the fact that they're giving an honorary degree to joe biden who's

02:24:13.020 like i mean the list of racist comments that guy has made is as long as santa santa scroll but okay

02:24:17.340 fine so they got him to speak there he they made him feel good about himself and then do we have

02:24:21.680 it, you guys. I think we have a bit of a soundbite of him pulling it over. But it was the most

02:24:28.020 pandering, absurd picture of blacks in America and the present day and America's relation to 0.99

02:24:37.680 our black population. It was absolutely disgusting. It was like he was trying to stir up racial 1.00

02:24:41.660 hatred right there live to the point where a couple of the black students turned their backs 1.00

02:24:47.280 on him, which was pretty extraordinary. And he does it all the time, right? I'll show you the 0.98

02:24:52.700 soundbite as soon as you get it cued, but this is not unusual. Well, Democrats should be asking

02:24:57.020 themselves, why does Trump each election do better, not worse, with minorities and immigrants?

02:25:05.380 Not worse, better. Did better in 2020 than 2016 and seems to be doing better this time.

02:25:12.260 That's a question Democrats really need to look in the mirror and ask themselves. 0.93

02:25:15.620 And with the immigrants, I think I know the answer.

02:25:18.780 I'll save them the trouble.

02:25:21.660 Immigrants don't like it that the left seems to have this unrelenting negativity toward the country that these immigrants worked so hard to get here.

02:25:32.080 They really worked hard to get here. 0.99

02:25:34.520 And when Trump says shithole, the shithole, I think a lot of them are going, yeah, you're fucking right. 0.99

02:25:41.740 It's a shithole where I came from. 1.00

02:25:43.300 Why do you think I got on the ocean? 0.97

02:25:45.620 on a raft or walked a thousand miles because i was living in paradise there are places that are 0.98

02:25:52.600 shitty in this world and the immigrants know it and you know it's not corny or conservative 1.00

02:25:58.820 to say that you should to acknowledge that you're lucky if you're living in this country at this 1.00

02:26:06.380 moment in history yeah well it was a different message at morehouse here it is watch you start

02:26:13.060 of college just as George Floyd was murdered and there was a reckoning on race, it's natural

02:26:22.320 to wonder if democracy you hear about actually works for you. What is democracy? If black men

02:26:31.120 are being killed in the street, what is democracy? You have to be 10 times better than anyone else 1.00

02:26:36.580 to get a fair shot most of all what does it mean as we've heard before to be a black man who loves

02:26:46.320 his country even if it doesn't love him back in equal measure that's my commitment to you 0.98

02:26:53.920 to show you democracy democracy democracy is still the way if black men are being killed 0.61

02:27:02.180 in the street to be bare witness. For me, that means to call out the poison of white supremacy, 0.98

02:27:09.280 root out systemic racism. I stood up for George with George Floyd's family to help create a

02:27:16.400 country. We don't need to have that talk with your son or grandson as they get pulled over.

02:27:24.980 Oh, joy. That's his vision of life as a black man in America.

02:27:29.020 Yeah, it's anachronistic. 1.00

02:27:30.520 Right.

02:27:31.120 See the one guy popping up from the back.

02:27:32.460 It was almost like he was like, what did you just say?

02:27:34.520 And it's not that there isn't still racism in this country, of course.

02:27:38.320 And racist, just as there will always be criminals, there will always be racist.

02:27:42.840 And we should always be mindful of that and do what we can to call it out.

02:27:47.320 But it's a very different country than it was even 10 years ago.

02:27:51.380 and and to be telling black students that you have to be 10 times better to get ahead

02:28:00.140 that's anachronistic that's not the case i mean there are cases also i mean there's certainly

02:28:08.220 they've done studies on this where the same person goes in for a job who's black and white

02:28:12.980 and the white person does get it more often they prove that so that still exists it's also true

02:28:20.780 that there are places in this country

02:28:22.740 where it's an advantage to be a person of color 0.98

02:28:25.360 at this time, or gay,

02:28:27.640 or anything other than white and male and straight.

02:28:31.600 I mean, I'm over 60, white, male, and straight.

02:28:35.040 I better be good at my job.

02:28:36.280 Yeah, that's right.

02:28:37.540 Because they're always true.

02:28:38.480 But you had a good run.

02:28:39.380 This is not somebody that they're trying to hire.

02:28:41.700 It's ridiculous to say that you love the country

02:28:43.860 more than the country loves you back.

02:28:46.200 Like, that's just not true.

02:28:47.360 What kind of a dark message is that?

02:28:48.580 That certainly has been true.

02:28:50.040 Right, but we're not living in the 1940s anymore.

02:28:53.200 Exactly.

02:28:53.820 I'm saying, can we just live in the year we're living in?

02:28:57.040 Because that doesn't really reflect it.

02:28:58.980 And when they do studies of young, under 30, polling, black versus white, the black folks are more optimistic.

02:29:09.360 Yeah.

02:29:09.940 It's the white liberals who—

02:29:11.500 Don't you think this is the wrong message?

02:29:13.200 Yes, factually wrong, but politically. 0.99

02:29:15.780 How do you sell yourself to a group of young black college graduates? 0.97

02:29:18.660 Is it by appealing to grievance, making them feel disempowered and like the country hates them?

02:29:23.500 Or is it something that would be empowering and uplifting and something great about them and America?

02:29:28.100 It's also not. I mean, they know better than anybody the country they're actually living in.

02:29:32.080 I mean, to to pretend that, as I think he was saying there, the talk, you know, which refers to being pulled over in cops.

02:29:43.840 I mean, are there racist cops? Of course. There will always be racist.

02:29:46.540 somebody's somewhere i mean if you do polling i think they've done it people are not accurate in

02:29:55.640 their assessment of how many people get killed by the cops or shot by the cops i think i think

02:30:00.860 about a thousand people no it's either shot or killed i think it's just shot i think about a

02:30:06.680 thousand people get shot by the cops a year in this country now in a country of 340 million people

02:30:12.780 a lot of whom are nuts and a lot of whom have guns is that a lot i don't know it was when that

02:30:20.200 whole thing went down in 2019 i think it was it was 19 or 18 but i think it was 19 right right

02:30:24.620 before george floyd i think it was 10 million uh arrests and of all of those in the country

02:30:31.400 between 12 and 15 involved the shooting of unarmed black men not 12 and 1500 12 to 15

02:30:41.920 depending on how you interpret unarmed some of the people who got shot by the cops had like

02:30:46.900 come in commandeered a car and tried to run down the police and they'd be counted as unarmed but

02:30:51.900 that's that's out of 10 million arrests 12 to 15 in the year preceding george flake but they the

02:30:57.480 way he's talking right and by the way the talk didn't your parents have to talk with you doesn't

02:31:01.680 every everyone especially a young man is told comply come on it's different if you're black

02:31:06.820 And it has been historically very different if you're black.

02:31:09.440 You can't really, really not contending that that's an equivalent.

02:31:14.220 When we were kids, the talk-

02:31:15.560 I think it's absurd to say that not everybody has the talk.

02:31:17.880 We're all afraid when we get pulled over by cops.

02:31:20.140 I'm not worried that I'm going to get shot in the way that I know some black men worry about.

02:31:24.680 But it's absurd to suggest that anybody who resisted arrest, especially a man with a cop who knows the stakes are high when he pulls them over, isn't going to be in danger.

02:31:33.200 OK, but I mean, if I got the talk, how old were you when you got the talk? I was 14 in 1970. It's preposterous to contend that in 1970, a white kid needed the talk as much as a black kid in this country.

02:31:47.560 I think that's fair. 1.00

02:31:48.360 Okay, great. 0.86

02:31:50.580 But also, here's something that he would never say at a place like this or anywhere, but there is a very big problem with young black men being shot and killed, but not by the cops. 0.87

02:32:03.440 Right.

02:32:04.920 The number of young black men compared to young white men who were killed, it's something like 20 times.

02:32:12.640 Not allowed to talk about it. 0.56

02:32:13.580 But again, they're not being killed by white supremacists. 0.98

02:32:16.500 They're being killed by each other. 0.96

02:32:19.200 And we've completely written it off as a society.

02:32:22.200 Well, to me, that's the most racist thing of all.

02:32:24.540 And I've always said, where are the leaders of the community to talk about this?

02:32:30.440 I mean, I feel like there's so many people in the black community who are looked up to for good reason.

02:32:37.020 They're exemplars.

02:32:38.200 And I mean, a lot of the most famous celebrities and most admired are African-American. 1.00

02:32:44.000 I mean, if they made a concerted effort to try to implore the end of this kind of behavior, would it have no effect at all? 0.99

02:32:55.940 Because a lot of these shootings, I mean, some of it is the drug war.

02:32:59.960 My thing about racism is always, could we just be practical?

02:33:02.880 I mean, John McWhorter writes about it better than anybody.

02:33:05.520 You know, schools, families, and the drug war.

02:33:11.780 I mean, that's it.

02:33:12.600 So much of this is performative that we see on the left.

02:33:16.100 That's the stuff that I don't...

02:33:17.240 McWhorter, Glenn Lowry.

02:33:19.080 Yes.

02:33:19.460 Of course, Thomas Sowell, none of whom has a statue of them.

02:33:23.720 They're not heralded.

02:33:24.900 They're not held up as examples.

02:33:26.260 And they're not invited on MSNBC.

02:33:28.480 Never.

02:33:29.440 And they should be.

02:33:31.000 They're kicked off.

02:33:32.120 Or Coleman Hughes. 0.97

02:33:33.360 Coleman Hughes, another one.

02:33:34.600 Yes, exactly.

02:33:36.020 And again, if you just ended the drug war, some of the shooting is that.

02:33:39.460 And some of it is just about really just nonsensical, you know, feuds and beefs and you insulted me on social media.

02:33:49.300 And then obviously there's too many guns floating around.

02:33:53.440 But it just seems like so tragic and unnecessary that this amount of killing is going on and that we just seem to, again, ignore it and not talk about it and pretend it's all the cops.

02:34:05.480 We're going to pretend we're doing something because we're over here saying, you know, this is the way we want you to refer up.

02:34:10.100 Capitalize the word B. 0.97

02:34:11.320 Now I feel better.

02:34:12.380 Right? 0.81

02:34:12.620 In black. 0.98

02:34:13.040 I find that racist. 0.95

02:34:19.480 Welcome back to The Answer is BMO.

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02:34:46.600 Good night, everyone!

02:34:47.640 BMO!

02:34:52.300 I want to ask you a couple things.

02:34:54.380 First of all, I want to ask you about Stormy Daniels.

02:34:56.140 You had her on your show.

02:34:57.600 Yes.

02:34:58.180 A few years ago, when she was first out with her story.

02:35:02.420 And then to your credit, you pointed out on your show that her testimony in this trial changed dramatically from then to now.

02:35:11.960 Do you think she's trying to paint herself as a fake Me Too victim now?

02:35:16.280 That's what it looked like.

02:35:17.280 I don't know if I would use the word dramatically, but it did shift.

02:35:20.160 I mean, she definitely, she said in the trial, she said it again, kind of the same thing that she said on the show.

02:35:25.640 But she also talked about the incident in ways that she certainly hadn't back when I was interviewing her, that we used all the buzzwords of the Me Too movement, of the power imbalance, and I was afraid to leave, and he blocked the door, and I was afraid.

02:35:41.240 And then the thing that was so preposterous, I thought, was, you know, I blacked out.

02:35:45.860 She lost feeling in her fingers and toes, Bill. 0.97

02:35:48.680 Well, I mean, as I said at the time, you know, this is someone who's not unused to having sex with strange people, not strange that they're people, just that they're stranger to you because she's a porn star. 0.92

02:36:00.380 So when you're a porn star, it's like, hi, meet Bob. 0.99

02:36:03.100 He's going to fuck you in two minutes. 1.00

02:36:04.520 OK, great. 1.00

02:36:05.680 Are we ready for wood?

02:36:07.120 Come on, people.

02:36:08.020 We're losing the light that, you know.

02:36:10.320 So the idea that she would black out because this was such a traumatic experience was, to me, straining credulity.

02:36:17.580 But, you know, I didn't think they should have gone ahead with this trial to begin with.

02:36:21.480 I mean, first of all, it should have been an election interference trial brought by Merrick Garland. 0.97

02:36:26.040 I tore him a new asshole a couple of weeks ago because all these trials are probably not going to come to anything. 0.98

02:36:31.440 And they had four years to do it. 0.99

02:36:33.040 But it wound up being a trial about falsifying business records in state court.

02:36:39.400 And, you know, I don't know.

02:36:40.840 Do you think he's going to win it?

02:36:42.780 I don't think Trump is going to win it.

02:36:44.440 Really?

02:36:44.880 Yeah, because I think it was lost on jury selection.

02:36:47.100 It's New York. It went 87 percent for Joe Biden. You think 12 jurors are going to I mean, because if I if I had to put my 12, all 12 jurors.

02:36:56.200 Here's my thought. They should not vote to convict because he definitely he's put on a great case.

02:37:01.440 The defense has put on a great case. Just they really haven't put on much of a case at all.

02:37:04.920 But they've done enough to poke holes in Michael Cohen's testimony to win this case.

02:37:10.300 But I think they lost it on jury selection in the same way O.J. was lost.

02:37:13.360 let me ask you this counselor um michael cohen did serve prison time for doing this no not for

02:37:19.660 doing this that's the problem he served prison time for lying about taxes and his taxi medallion

02:37:25.100 scheme and then at the last minute they added on this this election interference or uh campaign

02:37:31.680 finance violation and he said sure i did i did that too and but he that was never the bulk of

02:37:37.280 the charges that was about to send him into prison with the raids on his house and all that that was

02:37:41.260 an add-on at the end? That was not my interpretation of it. I thought he went to jail because he was

02:37:48.000 the fixer in this case. They're trying to lead you to believe that, Bill. You trust Andy McCarthy

02:37:53.720 of National Review, for example, a very straight shooter. He hates Trump like you do. He's been

02:37:58.380 pointing this out. So there's many other legal... Anyway. I'll re-look at it. But in your defense,

02:38:02.900 that's sort of how they're setting it up in this trial. And that is what the jury has heard too,

02:38:06.480 what you just said. So that's one of the reasons why I believe they probably will conclude he did

02:38:10.580 it they're going to say cohen he pleaded guilty to it weisselberg he's in jail why is he in jail

02:38:15.880 and they've been led like with a with a trail of breadcrumbs i think to probably the wrong

02:38:21.480 conclusion but i do think it'll be reversed and how will it affect the election if at all i don't

02:38:26.040 think it will either don't you think it's all been baked in at this point absolutely i mean yeah

02:38:30.160 look to most people it's just a sex case i did an editorial about this it's in the book also

02:38:35.080 about i i saw this movie when it was called kill bill when they did it with bill clinton

02:38:40.160 And people just do not like it when they go after presidents for their sex lives. 0.98

02:38:44.740 And the idea that Trump would be fucking a porn star at a golf charity event while his wife was home nursing their newborn is something we just assumed he would be doing because, you know, again, you're the party of family values. 0.99

02:39:01.620 So it is, as you say, baked into the cake. 1.00

02:39:05.620 The only thing surprising was that it was—

02:39:07.160 For the record, Trump denies it.

02:39:08.000 but you you don't really believe you can't tell me here's my honest reaction you can't tell me 0.97

02:39:15.400 you think he didn't fuck stormy daniel let me tell you what i what i think that's gonna really 0.87

02:39:19.020 leading up to the trial i said many times he did it let's face it we he denies it for the record 0.94

02:39:23.660 and the legal purposes he denies it but when i heard her do her you know dramatic reenactment

02:39:30.400 of it all now it's me too no thing no feeling in the fingers i blacked out i felt threatened

02:39:35.880 because he was sitting on the bed when I came out of the bathroom and I couldn't get to the door.

02:39:40.480 He was sitting on the bed. That's called leaving the hotel room. We've all done that. Like you

02:39:43.620 just walk around the bed and you walk out the door. I started to doubt her story. I started to

02:39:48.120 wonder whether this whole thing was some sort of a shakedown. If I had to put money on it,

02:39:52.060 I'd say they had sex, but I don't believe anything past that. 0.99

02:39:55.960 Well, that's silly. I mean, there's no good people. 0.98

02:39:58.700 You're so pejorative. What do you mean? I've been watching this trial very carefully and

02:40:03.260 I've been dismissive of your lack of knowledge, is my opinion, based on what I saw in 10 years of cross-examining people. 1.00

02:40:09.660 She's a liar. 1.00

02:40:11.060 That doesn't mean he didn't fuck her. 1.00

02:40:13.040 Okay, yes, both things are true. 0.99

02:40:14.860 I mean, it's like saying, you know, O.J. Simpson, were the police corrupt or did he kill his wife? 0.61

02:40:20.240 Both. 0.93

02:40:21.340 Both. 0.98

02:40:21.820 I used to say, you know, the cops are so inept they could not frame a guilty man. 0.99

02:40:27.200 The cops did a bad job and he killed his wife. 0.96

02:40:29.900 And Stormy Daniels is a horrible witness.

02:40:33.260 And so was Michael Cohen.

02:40:34.500 There's no good people in this trial. 1.00

02:40:36.080 And he fucked her at that golf tournament. 1.00

02:40:37.760 That's just who he was. 1.00

02:40:39.280 I mean, come on.

02:40:40.120 Last but not least, Cohen and you have had some past interactions, right?

02:40:44.720 Did he threaten you?

02:40:46.300 I think when you and Trump had your...

02:40:47.680 No, no, no.

02:40:48.420 When Trump sued me for calling... 1.00

02:40:54.200 This is just so stupid. 1.00

02:40:55.020 This is back on the Birthergate controversy. 1.00

02:40:57.020 Maureen Dowd wrote about it yesterday in the Times.

02:41:00.080 In 2013, Trump sued me because, what was it?

02:41:06.120 Because he offered $5 million for Obama's birth certificate.

02:41:09.080 No, no.

02:41:09.520 And then you offered $5 million to see proof that he wasn't the child of an orangutan.

02:41:14.100 Yes.

02:41:14.520 But actually, what he offered, that was one detail I think they got wrong.

02:41:19.260 The $5 million he had offered was for Obama to produce his college records. 0.52

02:41:25.080 Because, you know, a black guy in college, that's kind of fishy, huh? 1.00

02:41:28.700 Oh, boy.

02:41:29.520 So, yes, Donald Trump offered $5 million.

02:41:33.900 So I thought I would offer him $5 million if he could prove.

02:41:37.380 When we showed the picture, he does look exactly like that orangutan.

02:41:40.560 The color of the hair was exactly the same.

02:41:43.240 If you saw the picture, you know what I'm talking about.

02:41:45.700 And so I offered him $5 million.

02:41:48.080 And then they came to court and produced the birth certificate to prove that he was actually not the son of an orangutan.

02:41:56.120 Not that that's even possible.

02:41:57.620 I mean, we are of different species. 1.00

02:41:59.520 The definition of a species is you can't have sex with the feminine. 1.00

02:42:03.000 Well, sex. 1.00

02:42:04.300 No, no.

02:42:04.880 I mean, that's why. 0.94

02:42:05.420 You can't reproduce. 0.95

02:42:06.440 You can't reproduce.

02:42:07.380 But they're not interested in it. 0.99

02:42:08.920 I mean, jaguars and tigers, they look kind of alike, but they don't fuck each other. 1.00

02:42:13.180 But he did fuck Stormy Daniels. 1.00

02:42:14.740 Oh, God. 1.00

02:42:16.500 All right, Bill Maher, I've got to let you go.

02:42:18.200 Thank you.

02:42:18.580 Any last thoughts on what the solutions are to that?

02:42:20.780 How do we come back together?

02:42:22.200 Are we going to land the plane?

02:42:23.960 The country stays together? 0.99

02:42:25.120 We find a way past the harsh partisan bullshit? 0.99

02:42:27.680 I mean, I don't know. I mean, like I say, I think the rubber hits the road next January because if he wins, he wins. He's never going to give up power. You can't really believe that. 0.97

02:42:39.260 I definitely believe he will give up power.

02:42:41.220 But he didn't last time. You think in 2028 he's going to say, well, two terms, that's what the Constitution says. I'm gone. Of course not. He's going to stay on as long as he can. He'll make up some excuse. He doesn't care.

02:42:56.260 He's never read the Constitution. He doesn't care what's in it. It's only about power and who wins and he will never leave.

02:43:02.700 He's already said many times, I think we deserve a third term because, you know, we were cheated out of the one that he's not serving right now.

02:43:09.800 So he will never give up power. So there's the end of America as we know it.

02:43:14.080 And if Biden wins again, he will. I mean, this country will fall apart because his his rabble won't accept it and he won't accept it.

02:43:21.720 I mean, there's no solution except cholesterol.

02:43:23.840 all and and watching real time right and buying this book it's called it's actually very the

02:43:30.440 funniest book ever i think and uh lots of people have said the same thing so i know it sounds like

02:43:36.180 you know because we're tussling that it's all serious but it's actually very funny it is very

02:43:40.960 funny and uh i hope people enjoy it and look i i appreciate you going toe to toe because i think

02:43:48.500 that's what people have to do and it sometimes does get to a point where you get exasperated

02:43:53.460 with each other. But, you know, as I say at the end, America is a family. And the definition of

02:43:59.020 a family is understanding that, you know, you're with people who you may not like, but it doesn't

02:44:04.360 come to violence. Yeah. Well, I have to say, Bill, you've always been very gracious to me.

02:44:08.580 I'm a fan. I mean, you're super smart. You know, what we all have to get over is

02:44:16.600 talking with someone who you can be like, oh, I'm so in agreement on this, 0.66

02:44:23.460 and this, and this, and this, and on this one, I think they're insane.

02:44:28.060 But we got four out of five.

02:44:29.700 Yes, honestly.

02:44:30.420 It's like, why?

02:44:31.880 There shouldn't be a limous test.

02:44:33.760 Like, I love him, except he hates Trump, so I have to hate him.

02:44:36.680 It's like, so you disagree with him on that.

02:44:38.420 Okay, that's fine.

02:44:39.740 That's how the world goes forward, just accepting.

02:44:42.680 But I would hope when Trump doesn't relinquish power in this country.

02:44:46.480 I'm going to play this clip.

02:44:47.320 And when this country does not resemble the one that we've grown up in,

02:44:50.500 I would hope that you would be able to acknowledge that.

02:44:54.400 And if he does relinquish power or doesn't try to—

02:45:00.060 Then I'm going to play this clip, too.

02:45:01.180 Then I will absolutely on my show say, I was wrong and she was right.

02:45:05.740 Either way, I'll have you back and you can take a victory lap.

02:45:08.300 Or you have me back and I'll take a victory lap.

02:45:10.280 Either way, we'll make it happen.

02:45:11.220 Thank you.

02:45:11.660 Good luck with the book and everything.

02:45:12.740 I appreciate it.

02:45:13.460 All the best, Bill.

02:45:13.980 Don't forget, it's called What This Comedian Said.

02:45:16.200 Good Father's Day, Presence.

02:45:17.280 Shuck you.

02:45:17.780 Yes, plenty of time.

02:45:18.960 Father's Day coming up.

02:45:20.060 Available now. See you tomorrow.

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The Megyn Kelly Show - June 14, 2026

Andrew Schulz and Bill Maher - Megyn Kelly's ＂Double Feature＂ of Fascinating Interviews

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