The Megyn Kelly Show - Andrew Schulz on Why Trump Dominates Culture and Politics, Becoming a Dad, and Dating Red Flags ｜ Ep. 1020

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00:00:31.000 Welcome to The Megyn Kelly Show, live on Sirius XM Channel 111 every weekday at New East.

00:00:42.800 Hey everyone, I'm Megyn Kelly. Welcome to The Megyn Kelly Show.

00:00:45.940 Oh, do we have a treat for you today. Buckle up. 0.96

00:00:49.120 One of the funniest people in America is with me for the full show right here in studio.

00:00:53.520 Comedian Andrew Schultz has a new Netflix special out this week called Life.

00:00:59.040 If you go on Netflix, it's one of the top shows right now. You can't miss it and you shouldn't

00:01:02.940 miss it. It's only an hour. You will laugh and believe it or not, you will cry too. It's actually

00:01:09.340 very touching. At times, I did not expect that. And I was just saying to him before we got started,

00:01:16.320 I watched it the same way I watch all Andrew Schultz content like this.

00:01:21.620 I'm afraid and I love it. I hate myself for loving it so much.

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00:02:15.260 your future today with gold. The whole thing is actually deeply personal.

00:02:21.160 And his pal, Matt Damon, helped him announce it. Watch this.

00:02:25.880 Schultzy, Schultzy, Schultzy, Schultzy.

00:02:28.920 Matthew.

00:02:29.620 Hey, cute baby. I didn't get the Amber Alert.

00:02:33.060 We are celebrating. My new special's coming out.

00:02:36.740 Oh, nice.

00:02:37.560 Yeah.

00:02:38.000 What do you, stand up there and grow a mustache?

00:02:40.100 Actually, if you want to know, it's about my wife and I trying to make a baby. 1.00

00:02:43.440 Hey, everybody, this dumbass right here has a special about his low sperm count and it's 0.98

00:02:50.860 on Netflix. 0.99

00:02:53.760 That's a legend, dude.

00:02:55.160 Welcome back.

00:02:55.980 Thank you so much for having me.

00:02:57.000 Great to have you.

00:02:57.920 It's great to see you.

00:02:58.760 Oh, God, likewise. I mean, you were actually one of my first guests. You know, we just celebrated

00:03:01.780 episode 500 or 1,000, I don't know, 1,000. And you were 78, number 78. You were like

00:03:08.320 on the ground floor.

00:03:09.600 Yeah.

00:03:09.920 Yeah. I remember I was in California for that. But then I saw you, this is like right after

00:03:13.800 I saw you at the Borgo.

00:03:16.240 Yes, that's right.

00:03:17.380 But I didn't come up and bother, you know, you were doing the thing.

00:03:20.380 That's right. I forgot that. And now look at you. I mean, now your career is just taken

00:03:24.520 off.

00:03:25.060 No, things have been cool. Things have been cool.

00:03:26.480 Really cool. And personally, I mean, the funniest bit you ever did, and it's still

00:03:30.960 one of my favorites. This is from a special, not like on this show, but you were talking

00:03:34.380 about your then girlfriend and how obsessed she was with crime shows. I can totally relate

00:03:39.960 to this and how I remember you did this bit on how, you know, you'd watch NFL football

00:03:44.280 with her and she'd be like, and some guy would have a compound fracture with the blood everywhere 0.87

00:03:48.120 in the bone. And every guy, you know, be like, oh my God. And she'd be like, when is

00:03:51.700 someone coming to murder him?

00:03:52.860 Yeah. Yeah.

00:03:54.280 It's like not savage enough.

00:03:55.800 Yeah. Why do you guys like the serial killer stuff?

00:03:58.460 I have my own theories. I think it's because like, when you grow up, you know, who gets

00:04:03.820 murdered? Who gets attacked? Who gets stolen? Young women. 1.00

00:04:06.720 Yeah.

00:04:07.140 We're the victims. And so like, it's instilled in you from an early age by your parents,

00:04:11.660 by your friends, by your teachers, by TV, the news, like you're the victim. Like, and

00:04:16.840 so, you know, you walk around everywhere like, oh my God. And then you, there's a morbid fascination

00:04:20.760 with what happens to others. Like, how do I prevent that from happening to me?

00:04:24.160 Yeah. I think that's why. So yeah, it's fear based. So this is like this gigantic fear

00:04:28.860 you have.

00:04:29.340 Yeah. We're working something out. Yeah. You know, it's like the same way my 11 year old

00:04:32.440 likes to watch shark videos all the time. Cause he thinks he's going to get eaten by a shark.

00:04:36.080 Totally. And meanwhile.

00:04:37.600 So what is our fear? What is our, what? You know what? Are men just not afraid of anything?

00:04:44.960 I'm embarrassed to tell you that I've been dreaming lately about the AM update that we've

00:04:48.740 been doing as a new pod that we've launched in our feed. It's very embarrassing. My dreams

00:04:52.820 are about news now because I do it either really late or early morning and it's just on my mind.

00:04:58.380 You shouldn't dream about news. That's just sad.

00:05:00.720 Yeah.

00:05:01.160 Right. That's pathetic. 0.99

00:05:01.820 Well, this is your passion. This is what you dedicate your life to, you see. 1.00

00:05:04.800 But I could relate to, didn't you say, did I hear this in the special that you were saying

00:05:08.080 your girlfriend always dreams about you cheating on her? 1.00

00:05:10.000 Oh yeah. My wife.

00:05:10.980 Your wife now.

00:05:11.520 She dreams about me cheating on her. Yeah. Yeah. 1.00

00:05:12.900 So I've had that dream with Doug too. And if I have that dream the next day, I am such

00:05:16.240 a bitch to him. Right? 1.00

00:05:18.660 It is. It is funny that you punish us for it.

00:05:20.820 Right.

00:05:21.280 But yeah. Yeah. That was what I was saying. I think in the special, it's like, why can't I

00:05:24.340 have those dreams? It's almost like.

00:05:26.160 You're like, go, go through it. Walk me through it.

00:05:27.820 Yeah. I was like, I'd like to know exactly. But yeah, it was, it's almost as like, you

00:05:31.260 know, God shot like the dream arrow and like, it was just like a degree off, you know, he

00:05:36.760 was supposed to put that in my brain. Yeah, exactly. It was weird. I don't really have

00:05:41.300 dreams where, where I'm cheating on her.

00:05:44.420 Or where she's cheating on you. 1.00

00:05:46.020 I think I might've had something and I woke up upset. I think it's like, this is my sexism

00:05:51.000 coming out. But like, when a, when a woman cheats, like even in like a movie, like my, 0.75

00:05:58.780 my, my thought is like, who wrote this? 1.00

00:06:02.500 Yeah, this is twisted shit. Like, like if I watch a serial killer thing, I'm like, okay, 1.00

00:06:07.420 this is what it is. But if I see like a woman being unfaithful in something, I'm like, there 0.97

00:06:12.400 is a diabolical madman out there writing this shit. Like we need to like lock him up. Like, 1.00

00:06:17.840 why would you promote this? We're lost as a society. I've become this like really conservative

00:06:21.940 Christian. Like, I'm just like, what is the American foundation and nuclear families being

00:06:26.700 destroyed? Oh God, look at me getting all, you're getting really excited, worked up about it.

00:06:30.760 Yeah, I know. I mean, I, my girlfriends and I have had this talks, this talk many times,

00:06:34.880 like, would you leave, would you definitely leave your husband or your boyfriend if you found out

00:06:38.540 he was cheating on you? And then of course you get into, well, is it a one-off or is it like a

00:06:43.040 full blown affair with somebody else? And honestly, most of the women I know, 0.95

00:06:47.840 have the same answer to both, which is no, I would not leave. Isn't that, but also they have

00:06:51.560 children, right? Yeah. That changes the entire game. Yeah. It's also like, oh, but yeah, this is

00:06:59.740 good. Wait a minute. So we can cheat. I mean, literally every friend of Doug's right now is

00:07:03.220 texting him. No, we're going to Columbia, Doug. Not, not saying that. It's just, you know, like

00:07:11.840 that's, that's a, oh, you know, you know what? I'm curious your take on this. Like I was talking

00:07:16.460 to some, some of the, uh, the women that work with me and, um, you know, there's this like this 0.76

00:07:21.860 prominence in, uh, we're talking about relationships now, like talking about like red flags and ick

00:07:27.020 culture. Have you heard about this? No, I must be too old. Okay. So like a lot of women talk about 0.95

00:07:31.240 like red flags and icks they have with men, like little things that they do that annoy them. Okay.

00:07:36.160 And, um, it could be something like small, like if it's raining and a guy lifts his shoulders,

00:07:41.040 I don't like that. It like really turns me off to him. That's tough. Yeah, exactly. So,

00:07:45.280 and like, they're really like nuanced and specific. And I was like, what do you, I was asking him,

00:07:49.460 like, what do you think that's about? And, um, this is my suspicion. I think that like,

00:07:55.820 there's so much pressure for women to be with somebody that they maybe would rather be with 0.98

00:08:02.180 somebody they don't really like than be alone. Oh, like their moms are constantly going, Hey,

00:08:07.000 you got to get married. You got to have someone. And then you're with someone you don't like. Oh

00:08:10.940 God. And when you're around someone, you don't like everything about them annoys you. No, you

00:08:14.700 can't have that. No. And then you're going to let them get on top of you. Never. No, never. How

00:08:18.960 could you? But if you really love someone, like you said, they can go to Columbia with the boys.

00:08:23.340 It has an op, the opposite effect. It's like nothing bothers me at all. It's all really cute. Yeah.

00:08:27.900 My, it's funny. Cause I can't think of a thing about Doug that bothers me like that. And even

00:08:31.800 after we just celebrate our 17th, he is the man. Uh, we just celebrated our 17th wedding

00:08:37.240 anniversary on Saturday. Yeah. And honestly, like even after 17 years of marriage, he doesn't do

00:08:41.900 anything that like grosses me out. He's like, I don't know. I just find him very attractive.

00:08:45.580 Me neither. He's such a dreamboat, this guy. But he is very funny about, not about me,

00:08:51.660 but about other people that like his number one thing that drives him nuts and his brother has it too.

00:08:56.320 And I think it's called mesothelioma. Not like the, the lung disease you get, disease you get,

00:09:01.900 but it's, I may be saying it wrong. It's like having sex with dead people. 0.99

00:09:05.100 No, it's where you can't stand the sound of somebody chewing. 1.00

00:09:09.400 It drives him insane. Yeah. Mesothelioma is like the lung disease and this is mesothelioma. I got,

00:09:17.840 I got to look it up, but he doesn't like hearing people. Mesophonia. Thank you,

00:09:20.660 Steve Krakauer. Yeah. Mesophonia, right. Where you can't, it drives you nuts. If you can really

00:09:24.860 hear somebody chewing. Chew. Yeah. Okay. And there's somebody in the extended family who's

00:09:28.620 like, every time you sit down with this person, they get a big bowl of raw carrots and start like

00:09:33.480 downing it. And both brothers are like, yeah, we can't deal with this. Yeah. Doug. Yeah. Doug's

00:09:39.120 got his idiosyncrasies, which you got to put up with. He does. So are you a quiet chewer then?

00:09:43.120 I'm actually pretty quiet. Yeah. Good. Yeah. I'm really kind of proud of it. Yeah. I have pretty

00:09:46.940 good table manners. You'll see this with your new daughter. I mean, if that's something with your

00:09:50.500 kids that I've like bestow manners upon them, you, you can never let up that. It's like they don't

00:09:57.120 hear, they don't listen. You could tell them 10,000 times and they still don't listen. You don't go to

00:10:04.340 the food. The food comes to you. Yeah. You know, like all the little things and stuff, small bites,

00:10:08.700 small bites. And still you see your kid with like a mountain of food, shoving it in there. You're like,

00:10:13.240 Oh, I can't send you out into the world like this. My parents never told me table manners.

00:10:17.720 They didn't never told me. I learned table manners from the Titanic. What? You know,

00:10:21.560 you know, this team where like the, the, she's like, uh, the, the long go outside in with the 1.00

00:10:27.880 forks. Like that's literally the moment. I remember I had a girlfriend. I was like in Denmark with like

00:10:32.520 her family and I was like using my thumb to shovel salad onto a fork. And the father like put his hand

00:10:38.440 on my wrist and I was like, please use the silverware. No. Yeah. Oh, the humiliation. Yeah. Some Viking. 0.97

00:10:43.520 I still have some questions I have to say. I never took, you know, any sort of manners classes,

00:10:47.960 though I would love to get some for my kids. If somebody offered that, I would totally hire this.

00:10:51.320 What is that called? Uh, I don't know. Etiquette classes or something. Like class? Yeah. Yeah.

00:10:55.680 Class. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is what they do down South, right? We were raised like wolves.

00:10:59.680 That's why we don't have a lot of it. I'm watching you. Whatever I see works. You know,

00:11:03.060 we ate out every meal or like had delivery. Yes. So there wasn't exactly like this big display.

00:11:07.680 I don't remember my parents ever correcting table manners. You just, it's something I picked up on

00:11:12.340 later in life when I got to be more of a professional person. Yeah. But I still have

00:11:15.880 questions. Like here's one question for the audience. Maybe they know, maybe you know this

00:11:18.620 when you're eating soup, do you go outside in or know that I know you're supposed to go

00:11:23.280 from the front to the back. I know you're supposed to, you're supposed to scoop from the front to the

00:11:26.620 back. It is stupid, but you're supposed to do emotion. Like why would you move the food further away 1.00

00:11:30.520 from you? This is this like pretentious, like British shit where they're, it's like really wealthy 0.99

00:11:35.880 people have to find a way to make you feel insecure about you not having money. And then when 0.99

00:11:40.540 everybody started wearing suits, it's like, all right, well, we got to belittle them somehow.

00:11:43.920 Oh, if you see somebody moving the spoon out, then they really have money. I hate this shit. 1.00

00:11:49.400 What I love about America is the lack of rules in that regard. Yes. Like we're not trying to keep 1.00

00:11:53.440 up with the Joneses. Well, here's my question on it though. In addition to those, um, what do you do

00:11:57.960 with the soup spoon when you are in the middle, you want to put it down and, or when you're done,

00:12:03.920 does it go right back in the soup or does it go on the little, I accidentally move it off the table

00:12:09.140 and it falls and I go, Oh God. And then somebody gets, that's not okay. No, it's either supposed

00:12:12.900 to go right back in the soup, which is what I think you're supposed to do. Yeah. Or are you supposed

00:12:15.960 to put it on the plate? Like the saucer underneath the soup, that plate that's holding the soup bowl.

00:12:20.080 Yes. Yes. Yes. But one of them signifies to the waiter that you're finished and one signifies

00:12:25.220 you're still eating with the soup. That's true too. I just made that up. Okay. But it seems like it

00:12:29.980 makes sense. I do know what to do on the plate when you want to signify you're done.

00:12:33.040 Uh, knife in between the fork fork and knife at five o'clock. Yes. Like ones that, well,

00:12:42.800 I guess 10 of five at 10 of five. So ones that the 10 and ones at the five on your plate. Yeah.

00:12:47.900 That I got. Yeah. That's my one thing. Isn't it crazy that we have to like speak in code to the

00:12:54.540 waiters at the restaurant? Right. Like yo, yeah, that works. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing left on the

00:13:00.700 plate. Are you a good tipper? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I worked in the service industry. So that's the

00:13:05.860 thing. Yeah. If you've ever done it, same. Yeah. I have to say, so I have like a, what is a good tip

00:13:10.520 for you? Well, I, I always leave 50%. What? Five. Oh yeah. I always leave 50, but can I tell you

00:13:16.760 something kind of surprising? You think, is it good or it's bad? It's good. Yeah. It's a lot,

00:13:24.140 right? I mean, they're not the government. Well, I always want to be overly generous to the way. I

00:13:30.700 mean, wow. That is, I got to tell you something. I never, and I go to the same. Women don't usually tip.

00:13:36.200 I just want to point, point that out. Oh, that's not a big thing. That one's important to me. You,

00:13:40.480 that is, you will never read a report about me being a bad tipper. I, wow. I'm not going 50.

00:13:46.980 What do you go? 50? I go like 25 or something like that. I keep it round. I got this from Sean

00:13:54.580 Hannity who tips 100%. He does. Yes. Oh wow. I'm like, that's too much. No, no, that's guilt.

00:14:01.200 Something's going on. Something's going on. He's a really generous guy. He's harassing waitresses.

00:14:06.200 Something's happening where he's paying them off. A hundred percent is guilt. There's something

00:14:10.440 wrong, but I got to be honest with you. This is, he's taken. No, I mean, Sean is a great guy. You're

00:14:15.260 not doing this, but you're not at all. Where's my camera. You're not at all doing this, but I would

00:14:19.960 tip a hundred percent too. If I was taking my girlfriend to the fucking thing and I didn't 0.98

00:14:22.980 want anybody to know about it, but Sean would never do that. And that's not the case. 0.98

00:14:26.600 Not it. Listen, he does not, he does not need to stray. He's with Ainsley. He's good.

00:14:30.840 Well, listen, I was going to say, I would have, I would kind of expect that when I go

00:14:36.220 back to these same restaurants and have the same waiter, like maybe I'd get a little bit

00:14:39.980 more white glove treatment. I noticed absolutely no white glove treatment. I don't, I don't

00:14:44.380 think it really counts. So I just have to feel good about it in my heart, which I do.

00:14:48.340 Not the reason why we do it. Well, I mean, I, it would be nice if somebody was like,

00:14:51.720 thanks, thanks for it. But I, the worst one, you're like at the bar and you're like, I'm

00:14:55.440 going to fucking tip the, but this bartender big and you go to put the money down and they 0.96

00:14:59.560 walk away. And now you got to just stand there until they come back and notice the tip. 0.99

00:15:03.940 I need your recognition that I left that. Like this needs to be very clear.

00:15:08.300 My 13 year old daughter just asked this question at the dinner table last night. This is where

00:15:12.200 it's going for you. Um, she said, is any act of charity ever for the other person or is

00:15:20.440 it all selfish or is it, isn't it all selfish? Um, I would like to believe that we are capable

00:15:27.800 of, of altruism, but I think that there are like percentages of selfishness for sure. Like

00:15:31.960 if you're doing it to get to heaven, that seems pretty selfish. That's, that's what she was

00:15:35.200 saying. And she was saying, even just to make yourself feel good, there's an element of

00:15:38.020 selfishness in it. And then my brother-in-law said, what if you threw yourself on a grenade

00:15:41.680 and she said, no, still you're, you're doing it. Like there's some piece of you that's

00:15:46.040 doing it to feel good about saving somebody. Or you might be like a word of the medal of

00:15:49.400 honor. If you're, you know, like there's something in there. 13, very cynical.

00:15:52.800 Fuck. Can I curse on this? Okay. Wow. 1.00

00:15:58.200 We couldn't have on Andrew Schultz if you could not curse. 1.00

00:16:00.400 That's a good point. That's a good point. Wow. That is a, that is a sophisticated thought

00:16:04.360 for a 13 year old. Has she watched everything everywhere all at once?

00:16:09.120 Well, she, she watches some of the dateline specials with me. That's probably part of

00:16:13.100 it though. Tonight she's got that side where she's deep and philosophical and cynical in

00:16:17.020 some ways, but tonight she'll be starring as Ursula in the little mermaid at her school

00:16:20.640 play. Did she pick Ursula? 1.00

00:16:22.060 No, she tried out for it. Yeah.

00:16:23.180 So she wanted Ursula. 0.90

00:16:24.060 Yeah.

00:16:24.960 We got to keep an eye on this girl right here. We got to keep a very close watch on this 0.99

00:16:28.960 girl. This is cause it is, I think that what she's, what she's approaching is like a very

00:16:33.900 realistic way of looking at life, you know, which is a, but sometimes having that view

00:16:38.740 of humanity can be difficult to handle. Yeah. That's a really sophisticated view of

00:16:42.900 it's very hard with a, with a mother who's in news and a father who is as cynical and

00:16:47.200 funny as Doug is. It's just, there are kids have a very healthy sense of humor, which you

00:16:51.420 would appreciate, but like very realistic. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to think like, what is

00:16:55.300 the, like the positive impact of that is you can have probably like really mature conversations

00:16:59.620 with them. She, she's definitely ahead of her time. What is her school? It's a private

00:17:03.640 school. It's all girls. I will say it's more woke than I would like, but not as woke as 0.96

00:17:09.180 the one we pulled her from in New York city. That's the, the conversation I have with parents

00:17:13.260 public and private is, is the exact same one that we're having right now. Yeah. It's just

00:17:17.460 like, yeah, they're all kind of like woke to use that term. And it's kind of like a, we've

00:17:21.580 beaten that term to the ground. No, they just had one of the, I don't know, it was Martin

00:17:26.260 Luther King day and they had an assembly and they had the head of DEI go in there and

00:17:30.520 talk to the girls and said, just, just as a reminder, we believe in equity. Everyone 0.75

00:17:35.600 has the right to wind up in the same space. Yeah. And of course my daughter, my kids are

00:17:40.560 primed on this, you know, we're inoculating them against this bullshit at home, but she 0.99

00:17:44.260 knew enough to come home and be like, mom, this is what they said. And I was like, no, 0.99

00:17:47.020 she's absolutely right. On the next test, when you study hard and the girl next to you

00:17:51.240 doesn't, she has a right to see your answers. You have to show them to her. She has the

00:17:55.860 right to get the same grade as you, no matter how much work you did or didn't put into

00:17:58.960 it. Yeah. I mean, that is funny to, to have a DEI program at an all girls school. 0.99

00:18:03.320 Well, that it's, it's like, you don't even accept men, but that's the, you're selecting

00:18:09.680 out a group of people. You really can't continue that conversation. Well, they can't have the

00:18:13.580 oppressors and the patriarchy running the school. Wait, are there, are there any like

00:18:17.480 male leadership in the school? Yes. Well, not leadership, but there are plenty of

00:18:20.700 male teachers, just male teachers, but no male leadership. No, there isn't. No. Oh, well, wait,

00:18:25.340 I'm wrong. When you get to the high school, there's a, there's a head of the high school.

00:18:29.120 I mean, she's only in middle school, but we're not there yet. Yeah. I don't, I don't think

00:18:31.940 they're against men, but you know, we did a bunch of research when the kids were really

00:18:35.680 young on single sex education. And it seemed like K through eight, it was a good idea. 0.98

00:18:41.020 And the good thing about this high school is when she gets to high school, she'll mix 0.99

00:18:44.900 now with boys. So that's good. Cause you know, at some point you have to learn how to be

00:18:48.340 around the opposite sex. Yeah, you do. I wonder, I'm surprised it's that way, not the 1.00

00:18:52.660 opposite way. What do you mean? Like co-ed K through eight single sex. Yeah. I think they're

00:18:57.740 looking, I think for girls, the philosophy is, you know, they'll, they won't be afraid

00:19:03.420 to say how they feel because, you know, in middle school, it's awkward for everybody.

00:19:07.320 And maybe around the boys, you're a little bit more buttoned up. Yes. And then in the

00:19:10.620 younger grades, boys tend to be more disruptive and kind of bigger pains in the ass and girls 0.99

00:19:15.640 are like well-behaved. And so then they get demonized. So it can be better, better for them 0.99

00:19:20.160 to be alone too. You know, where they're not being compared to the well-behaved girls.

00:19:25.020 Like at our boys school, the first thing they do for the K through fivers is they let them

00:19:29.260 go to gym for like an hour. Get it out of the system. Get it out. That's smart. Right.

00:19:32.840 That's really smart. But girls don't need that. They're just ready to pay attention and lock 1.00

00:19:36.900 in. I mean, Oh, it's amazing. Yeah. Isn't this funny? You have all this to look forward

00:19:40.320 to with your now one year baby daughter. I'm so excited. Yeah. It's great. It is like terrifying

00:19:44.440 though. All these things are scary. You don't know anything. You really don't know anything.

00:19:48.280 And now I like, I have this, I have this amazing empathy for, uh, yeah. I mean, I don't want

00:19:53.600 to like politicize this too much, but like even these like a hot button topics, like,

00:19:57.500 you know, vaccination and these kinds of things. Like if you don't have children, like you really

00:20:01.320 don't even need to be part of the conversation at all because you don't understand the fear

00:20:05.260 of making a decision that could negatively impact your daughter either way to do it. And then

00:20:11.040 something happens, God forbid. Now you feel that responsibility. You don't do it. And something

00:20:17.040 happens. You feel that responsibility and you're constantly, you know, these decisions are put in

00:20:22.140 front of you. It's like, Ooh, well, like you're trying to rely on your doctor and you're, you know,

00:20:26.520 you try to find a good doctor and just do what he says. But then this whole past five years has

00:20:30.940 really undermined health in doctors and public health officials. Right. So you're kind of like

00:20:35.080 every institution, I feel like we have super low confidence in. Yeah. Every pediatrician that we've

00:20:39.600 had has recommended that we get them the COVID vaccine, which we didn't. Yeah.

00:20:42.900 My current, no, no, I got myself the vaccine, which I regret, but I did not get it from my kids.

00:20:49.040 Did you get a booster? Yes. I got one booster. Oh, I didn't. I got, I got a fake booster so I

00:20:53.480 could do a movie. I wish I had gotten fake. I got you. There's like some Jewish guy in Brooklyn 1.00

00:20:58.040 that I went to. Oh, come on. Yeah. Why didn't I know any of this? And then I gave it to the movie

00:21:02.640 company to prove them that I was vaccinated. And they hit me back. They're like, yeah, this is bullshit.

00:21:06.300 And I was like, all right, I got to talk to that fucking guy. It was shocked. What did he shoot me up 1.00

00:21:12.600 with? Yeah. Yeah. So you got the first two shots, but nothing more. Yeah. I was excited. Like,

00:21:17.200 I know this sounds crazy, but I was like excited to get the first two. Cause I was like, I just want

00:21:20.180 to get out. Like I want to party. Like, like I didn't know what the fuck it was. We went down to

00:21:25.040 Miami. Okay. So we were in New York and everything was shut down in New York. And in the beginning,

00:21:30.320 it was kind of exciting. It was just me and my wife were like making fucking meals together every 0.99

00:21:34.920 single night. You know, it's felt like camping. I've never gone camping, but like, that's kind of 0.99

00:21:38.940 what I imagined it was. And then, and I was lucky I'm doing podcasts. I'm doing what I do outside of

00:21:43.680 standup. Yeah. So like my life wasn't that different outside of like not being able to

00:21:48.740 eat out, I guess. Yeah. Come winter, it got brutal. Like it was just, so we went down to Miami for four

00:21:55.940 months and it was amazing. Like my whole team, we all went down there. I think day two, the entire team

00:22:01.400 got COVID. Yeah. Of course higher team. My poor guy was in our pool house for two weeks with COVID. He got

00:22:07.060 long COVID. Like it was, yeah. I mean, it was great. I was, I just see him in the window just

00:22:12.160 waving at him. It was incredible. Duff who's here right now. But, um, but yeah, yeah. So there was

00:22:17.860 this part of me that was like, I just want to be able to do things like, so shoot me up. I don't

00:22:21.380 care. And there were Nazis in New York about it, which is your real home base. Yeah. Yeah. It is

00:22:25.420 tricky. Do you like, so there is this thing where I go, yeah, we're going to be more strict in New York

00:22:30.980 where we live on top of each other. We're all in the fucking subway together. Like I don't want to 0.99

00:22:34.720 compare New York to Montana. Like when someone in Montana is like, I can't believe you guys did

00:22:38.260 that in New York. It's like, yeah, you live on a ranch. Yeah. Like 500 acres. Yeah. Like the rules

00:22:43.380 are going to be different. You know, I got like a Dominican family above me. That's going to play 1.00

00:22:46.920 music at 12, unless the city has a rule that stops the music at 10. That's right. So sometimes you like

00:22:52.120 a little government overreach if you want to get to bed, you know? Well, and we were all being told

00:22:56.360 at the, on the initial vaccine that it would stop the spread, that it, you know, would make you not

00:23:01.540 contagious. This is what I feel like people do. That's just like so frustrating. It's like

00:23:05.420 they, it's the lies to cover up the lack of information. And then you get these like

00:23:12.400 conspiracies, like every conspiracy I imagine, like the truth of it is probably way more boring,

00:23:16.820 but it's probably like a little incompetence. Yeah. Somebody refusing to take accountability for

00:23:22.260 their own incompetence, covering it up with a lie. And then the internet gets after this puzzle.

00:23:28.420 And it's just, if one person had the balls to just be like, yo, I fucked up. Yeah. That was me. 1.00

00:23:33.860 I was the second shooter. I'm just going to put it out there. We need the Victoria's secret guy.

00:23:41.640 Who's Epstein's, uh, Lex, Wexner. We just need him to come out and be like, I funded it. Why can't we

00:23:50.660 know more about him? Dude, this is the thing. It's like, give him immunity, give him immunity.

00:23:56.000 Yeah. And then we can learn everything and we can move on. Yeah. But he's got it. No,

00:24:01.440 why'd you give this guy billions of dollars to manage? I have to tell you, I, I had a couple of

00:24:07.180 conversation with somebody very close to the Epstein case, like very close to it,

00:24:12.000 who shall go nameless for this conversation. And this person swore to me. Acosta?

00:24:16.760 No, that there's, that there's. He could talk too. He knows shit too. That, that he wasn't this quote

00:24:24.720 pedophile. Right. That he was into like 16, 17 year old girls. Yeah. And that, yes, some may have 0.90

00:24:32.180 sort of gotten through that were slightly younger, but that wasn't exactly his thing. And that pretty

00:24:39.160 much every famous celebrity was friends with him and went on his jet. Yeah. But that at most all

00:24:46.460 they were getting was like the so-called massages from these 16, 17 year olds, as opposed to like a 0.74

00:24:52.400 pedophile ring. Yeah. Now I don't know. 16, 17 is pedophile for me. Well, it depends on the state.

00:24:57.520 It could be illegal. But in some places it's probably legal, like even in Canada and even like the UK or

00:25:02.060 something in my France, I don't even know if they have an age. Oh no, probably not. Yeah. I think

00:25:05.920 they're still defending him over there. Yeah. The only thing they age is cheese. I mean, you think

00:25:09.520 about it though, because like, how did Alan Dershowitz wind up, you know, becoming Jeffrey

00:25:15.160 Epstein's lawyer? How did all these world figures wind up on his plane? Because he had, you know,

00:25:21.020 he had cashier, he had money. He was already connected. He was tight with the people at Harvard.

00:25:26.240 That's all you really have to say that you're tight with the people at Harvard and MIT. Everybody will let

00:25:30.540 you into their party. Immediate co-sign. Right? Yeah. Like if you've got these certain credentials,

00:25:34.440 you're good. I don't even need to check in on you. No. You're tight with Harvard. You have an

00:25:38.000 office at Harvard? Yes. You must be legit. You're a legit guy. Why would Harvard not?

00:25:43.060 Even after you already pleaded guilty to something with a young prostitute, like we're still, 0.55

00:25:47.880 Katie Couric's still going to go to your dinner party at your mansion. Bill Gates is still going 1.00

00:25:51.080 to ask you for marital advice. Yeah. How about the Bill Gates thing? Yeah. Like, were you surprised

00:25:56.300 when it came out that he was like with all these younger women and like these pool parties and it was

00:26:00.960 like, you know, he'd been so buttoned up in this like totally respectable person. Am I surprised

00:26:05.760 that the billionaire guy had a bunch of chicks that he was sleeping with? Not so much. No. But it was

00:26:11.220 totally contrary to his image at the time. I don't think Warren Buffett really wears khakis and drinks

00:26:16.600 a Diet Coke on a bench in Omaha. What do you mean? Yes, he does. What? This is the beautiful lie that

00:26:22.760 we're all talking about. Explain it to me. You think that that's what he's doing? You think he's just like,

00:26:26.400 I'm going to have my hot dog and a Diet Coke. No, that's like propaganda. He's in a boardroom

00:26:31.380 somewhere going, okay, we got a trillion dollars to move around. Let's make it happen.

00:26:34.960 I thought you were making a comment about women and Warren.

00:26:36.940 No, I don't think Warren's doing anything with women. Or it might be. I have no clue. I have no

00:26:40.880 clue. But like, nothing surprises me. Nothing shocks me. Like, in order to make that money,

00:26:46.660 okay, I'm not talking about like tech billions is a little bit different, right? Because it's all like

00:26:51.680 fugazi. It's not real. It's like, okay, we think that this is worth that. Everybody's trying to get rich on it.

00:26:55.940 You know, the stock price spikes, the businesses aren't actually making any money. It's not real

00:27:01.280 money. It's all paper. Yeah, it's all paper, right? It's all speculation, right? So, but like,

00:27:05.400 in order to actually make like proper billion dollars, like, you got to kill like, I don't know, 0.96

00:27:12.560 a few people, right? You do? I think. You think Elon has killed a few people? Oh, 0.96

00:27:17.500 what do you mean? A few? What do you mean? Like how? With a Tesla, with a self-driving? No,

00:27:21.660 not like he shoots it, but like, but also he's tech. Like, I don't know how profitable the

00:27:26.240 business are. Yeah. Right. Like how profitable are the businesses? I don't, I'm sure he could cash

00:27:30.160 out on some of these, like Tesla. He's a genius. I'm not telling him to be like overly critical

00:27:34.200 with him, but I'm talking about like an actual, you are making dollars and cents business that you

00:27:39.720 can cash out. Like, I mean, yeah, I don't think that you can have this like pious constitution and do

00:27:45.020 that. Most of these people cash out and they, they sell like Mark Cuban, you know,

00:27:49.540 he sold the business he came up with. And there's just the one sale because it seems like the first

00:27:54.200 buyer winds up getting screwed. Like he thinks he's going to build it. It's, it's, he's bought

00:27:57.860 something meaningful. And then when he turns around, like everything's collapsed, that happens all the

00:28:01.220 time. You want to be the one who invents it, builds it up into something big on paper and then get out

00:28:05.540 of town. Get the fuck out of there. How about Elon? Now he's in all over the news for the Doge stuff. 1.00

00:28:09.820 Yeah. He wore a suit the other night. Wow. Um, Mark, Mike Davis, who comes on the show a lot,

00:28:13.860 he's a lawyer, uh, Trump affiliated, tweeted out something like two things. Elon has a suit

00:28:19.120 and a babysitter. We haven't seen it. He's turning over a new leaf. You know what the

00:28:25.820 thing about Elon is, is like, um, he's obviously a brilliant guy and you want brilliant people on

00:28:31.220 your side, especially if like, we're going to world war three. Like if we are going to go to war

00:28:35.060 with Russia, China, whatever it is, I think you kind of want the rocket guy on your side,

00:28:40.200 right? Like that's either protect us or get us to Mars. If things go to hell.

00:28:44.680 Right. Like let's just, so we want to keep him over here. Um, my concern about the Doge thing is

00:28:51.080 this is, I don't think there's a single American out there that's like, I want waste, inefficiency

00:28:55.580 and government corruption. Right. This is a bipartisan supported issue. And I feel like because maybe he's,

00:29:02.780 he hasn't developed like the, the, the skill of politics, he's kind of like twisting the knife a

00:29:09.020 little bit and it's like, too inhumane. I don't even know about it inhumane. I'm just like,

00:29:13.660 it's kind of like, gotcha. Here we go. Where you could rally support from all of this. Everybody

00:29:18.400 wants this. The left should want this. The right should want this. This can be a victory for America.

00:29:25.060 I think it is. I mean, like, would we have, you guys, we have that Harry engine thing I asked for,

00:29:28.380 you know, him over on CNN. He's hilarious. I know him from the cellar. He hangs out at the

00:29:32.280 comedy all the time. Oh, he does. Yeah. Yeah. He is. He's funny himself. I love his New York accent.

00:29:37.100 Here he is talking about the, the doge and the public reaction.

00:29:41.480 This to me was one of the more shocking figures that I saw. Made me go, wait a minute,

00:29:45.960 hold on one second. Whoa. Americans on Trump and Joe's efforts. Musk and those,

00:29:50.980 those should influence government spending and operations. Look at this. 54%. The majority say

00:29:55.920 that he and they should. How about a proof of Trump trying to cut staff at government agencies?

00:30:00.520 Again, you get a majority here. 51%. So yeah, Elon Musk might not be that popular,

00:30:05.580 but these cuts and the idea of spending cuts, at least within the federal government

00:30:09.880 and cutting of government agencies that actually has majority support. I was truly surprised by

00:30:14.560 this Cape, but the numbers are the numbers. Democrats might argue that the type of spending

00:30:19.280 that Musk is cutting is mainly necessary programs, but that comes in at just 36%. The wasteful spending

00:30:24.900 actually wins the plurality here at 42% according to a recent Washington post Ipsos Paul. And I think

00:30:30.680 that is the reason why you see that when it comes to Dusk and Moj, Musk and Doge, you see,

00:30:35.980 in fact, the majority believe he should have some influence because they believe the plurality

00:30:39.600 believe that he is cutting wasteful spending, not necessary programs that Democrats are arguing.

00:30:45.220 So he is winning the PR war.

00:30:47.460 Yeah. But to me, there shouldn't even need to be PR. I guess it should be a hundred percent.

00:30:52.660 What, what, how so? Like he should be more clear on the Doge website, which is not that user

00:30:56.220 friendly.

00:30:56.500 Yeah. I don't even know if it's more clear. I think it's more like the tweets and like the

00:31:00.120 antagonism within the tweets. And I think he's developed this very like polarizing personality

00:31:04.980 online. And there's a way, okay. The question right now is, is it possible to be less polarizing?

00:31:10.680 Right? Like what percentage?

00:31:11.920 No matter who you are.

00:31:12.680 Of course. And like, now that he's in this position of, it's not only like immense power,

00:31:16.920 but also influence. And he's tackling a topic that is not partisan at all. Like there is support

00:31:25.160 here. So you don't need to antagonize it all. It's like, buddy, everybody's on your side.

00:31:29.180 If you hire some people and then, sorry, if you fire them and then have to hire them back, like,

00:31:33.460 it's okay to be like, Hey, we made a mistake there. We're not perfect. We're going to, we're

00:31:37.380 going to do this right. And we're going to figure this out. Like, it's okay to acknowledge these

00:31:40.940 things. And this is where I think like having a little bit more experience in politics can be

00:31:47.920 helpful. Cause it is a different game. You're doing dealing with emotions, not facts. You could show me

00:31:52.800 those lists all you want. Like people are emotional beings. They don't give a fuck. Like what is it

00:31:56.480 the dweeb says all the time? The Ben Shapiro guy is like, uh, facts don't care about your feelings.

00:32:01.220 It's like, no, no, no, no. Dumbass feelings don't care about facts. We feel things like there is a 0.99

00:32:09.120 woman in Mexico that's going to see the Virgin Mary in her toast today because she feels the Lord

00:32:14.860 and then sees it afterwards. We don't look at like, usually it's a Cinnabon. Fine. Keep going.

00:32:22.800 Just my experience.

00:32:27.500 That's how, you know, that's how, you know, Megan is locked at the airport. 0.94

00:32:32.360 Crisis came when she's at the Cinnabon.

00:32:34.520 I try not to let people see me going there.

00:32:36.760 I love it. I love it. There's that great, uh, Louis CK bit where he's like, um,

00:32:40.940 I went to Cinnabon, uh, after arriving.

00:32:44.580 That's sad. No, I actually, I don't go to Cinnabon because I I'm, you know, in my fifties and I just

00:32:50.900 can't do that anymore. But I will tell you not too long ago, I was at the airport for a layover

00:32:54.640 and I wanted this so badly. And I'm like, I'm doing it. And I got not just the small bag and

00:32:59.640 not the huge, huge bag, but like the medium sort of large-ish bag of Cheetos. Yeah. I ate every last

00:33:07.780 one. There was a woman across me kind of looking at me, stealing glance. You could tell she was 0.99

00:33:11.440 kind of like, is she going to eat that entire bag of Cheetos? I'm like, sister, I am America.

00:33:15.700 They're just like us. It was so good. The stars are just like us. You deserve a bag of Cheetos.

00:33:22.140 It's a guilty pleasure. Yes. You earned everything. What do you, you should be eating Cheetos every

00:33:25.860 single night. Well, then, then, then it starts to come back at you, you know, like the next thing,

00:33:29.240 but then you get the Manjaro or the Ozempic or whatever like that. It's better to keep it off to

00:33:34.180 begin with. Trust me. I've had to, I've lost and I've gained over the years. It's better if you can keep

00:33:37.940 it off. There's no more fat pride, huh? That really ended with the Ozempic. I think if you're

00:33:42.280 a leftist, there is. You think? You have to at least say you are. Otherwise, you know, they did.

00:33:46.220 I think Ozempic ended that. Did you see Lizzo? Yes. She's beautiful. She looks awesome. Yes. I

00:33:51.640 think they've all realized that, but it's, it was hard to do it because you got to like put in the

00:33:55.000 effort, you know? Yeah. I don't know. I'm not sure. These fat models are doing it too. They're like

00:33:58.980 on the Ozempic. So there's no more fat models. After telling us that we were supposed to embrace it and it was 0.77

00:34:02.580 healthy and it was beautiful. Oh, I got ridiculed for just being like, this is absurd. Like what is going on? Not at all.

00:34:08.220 And now they're all in Ozempic and they're like, I'll just be a model model. Yeah. Yeah. What 0.99

00:34:11.940 about swimsuit or sports illustrated now bring you back actual hot models for its magazine? 0.91

00:34:18.160 America's healing. Yeah. Right. With all due respect to Martha Stewart, I guess that didn't sell a lot

00:34:23.380 of magazines or Gail King. Oh, why did Martha go in there? Yeah. And so did Gail King. And I think 0.97

00:34:28.220 they eventually realized what they really wanted. Martha was a baddie back in the day. Did you watch her 0.98

00:34:32.400 special? Yeah, I did. It was crazy. She is a psycho, but here's what I'm saying. She has some bodies. 1.00

00:34:38.120 That this is you don't get to that number without taking some people out. If someone told me that

00:34:42.620 like Martha had someone killed, I wouldn't be like Martha. Oh, really? Well, she is a convicted felon. 1.00

00:34:47.260 Yeah. Like you don't think she's capable of murder? I don't. Not herself, but like getting someone else to do it.

00:34:52.520 No. Are you capable of murder? I could murder. What? Yeah. Like if somebody did anything to my daughter, 0.95

00:34:58.020 I could kill them. Yes. Okay. Me too. Yeah. Or to protect. Yeah, of course. If somebody is like going to, 1.00

00:35:03.180 you know, do something to my wife. But what about for like, you know, business? 1.00

00:35:06.960 Oh, like, could I murder somebody to like get ahead or to get a deal? Or out of a vendetta.

00:35:11.980 No. I mean, I'll, or where I could convince myself that they did something to my daughter. I'd be like,

00:35:16.280 yeah, I definitely have to kill that comedian. But can I tell you something? Like if you're a, 1.00

00:35:20.660 if you're a sociopath. Yes. Yeah. I, cause I've talked to some sociopaths. They actually have no 0.99

00:35:26.380 qualms about this whatsoever. Yeah. They will talk to you about like, yes,

00:35:29.160 that is an acceptable menu item. Like killing the person to take care of the problem is right 0.93

00:35:34.220 there. Yeah. Like they just don't even, and, and you know, one in four people are sociopaths. 0.93

00:35:38.900 Yeah. I've heard this. Like it's a, it's kind of a sad way to live though. You know?

00:35:42.920 Well, yeah. Like, but because like there's a competitive advantage about not caring about

00:35:48.080 people, but the human experience is connectivity. So like you go without that. Like I was speaking

00:35:54.940 to this guy, he used to be a CIA dude and he was like borderline sociopath and that's what

00:35:58.800 they liked about him. Cause you want people that can make those really difficult decisions. And

00:36:02.740 I'm sure the CIA is all there, whatever. Right. Anyway. And, um, he was telling me that like,

00:36:09.460 he, he's aware of what people should feel. Yeah. Even though he doesn't feel it. No,

00:36:14.640 they study. Yeah. They learn the proper way of reacting. But imagine not being like,

00:36:19.240 imagine your kid, that first time you hear a kid laugh and the way that it like transforms your

00:36:25.000 entire idea of what joy is. Yep. And imagine seeing that and feeling nothing.

00:36:29.900 It's you're dead inside. What a horrible way to live. Can I tell you something? I can find out

00:36:34.960 whether you are a sociopath. Ooh, tell me. Two minutes or less. Go, go, go. This is good. 0.99

00:36:40.360 It's a little riddle. Okay. Go. Okay. A man shows up at a funeral. Yeah. He goes to grieve the dead body

00:36:49.080 at the wake. It was the wake. And he sees a woman near the casket and they exchange a glance. You

00:36:56.140 know, they make eye contact. The man leaves, the funeral wraps up. A week later, that man kills that

00:37:03.980 woman's mother. Why? Um, cause he's a sociopath. Well, I probably do have the answer, but, uh,

00:37:17.320 what do you think the answer is? Because that woman's mother, uh, was the mistress of his father.

00:37:25.040 You're not a sociopath. Oh, wow. What is it? Because he wanted to see her again. The woman.

00:37:33.040 Now, let me tell you something. Did you see how I went with women cheating? 1.00

00:37:36.540 But can I tell you, everybody's so worried. My biggest fear. So, so the sociopath gets that like

00:37:42.100 this. Wait, really? They have that answer like this. And let me tell you where I got this test from.

00:37:47.680 My, somebody who used to be in my life, um, that person's father was a psychiatrist in one of the

00:37:55.220 worst prisons in America. And they would actually do this test on the patients and man by man by man.

00:38:03.160 If, and by the way, to my listening audience, if it came to you right away, you might be a sociopath. 0.82

00:38:07.160 Yeah. Turn yourself in. But you'll see, it has to come. Like if you're wrestling with it and after 0.94

00:38:10.260 like a minute, you're like, was it this you've given a couple of guesses and you get there eventually

00:38:13.340 you're good. Because the sociopath immediately is like, because he wanted to see her again.

00:38:18.620 They just think differently. I mean, it is the, it is the easiest path to seeing her again.

00:38:24.480 Right. It guarantees it. And there's no moral objection on your list. Again, you're like,

00:38:29.160 who cares? Isn't that crazy? That feels good that I'm not a sociopath. Yes. You can go tell Emma.

00:38:33.940 Yes, I know. But I knew you were in my head while I was like, should I do the sociopath test on him?

00:38:38.460 I was like, what if he fails? And I've humiliated this poor guy in front of everybody. But then I

00:38:42.900 was thinking about the video you put in your latest comedy thing on Netflix. I'm like, there's no way

00:38:46.900 Andrew's a sociopath. What's the opposite is empath? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's it. I'm like,

00:38:51.640 you feel too much. Yeah. I believe that about you. Yeah. You are a softie. Yeah. I'm sensitive.

00:38:57.320 Yeah. I can see that. And it's like, it's weird. It's like, I'm sensitive, but like, I can, I can,

00:39:02.540 I'm numb to certain things. Not numb, but like, they don't really affect me. Like criticism and going

00:39:07.340 through all these like random internet shit that I go through. Yep. But, um, I'm, I am very sensitive to 0.99

00:39:13.200 the people I really care about. So like reactivity within like my family or friend group. Uh,

00:39:19.480 and then I'm also sensitive to like, kind of like cultural trends. I can like feel like frustration

00:39:24.380 pretty early. Like, what do you mean? Do you feel one now? No, not like, like, what do I think for

00:39:30.120 people, for example? Like what do I think people really care about? Um, like, I think that the

00:39:36.600 Democrats, for example, like they could win the next election if they just make it a class issue.

00:39:41.160 Like it's that simple and they got to just be, they're not, they're so risk averse and

00:39:46.600 they need to be a little bit more brave Americans. We, we have very high risk tolerance or low risk.

00:39:51.360 What's the one I'm trying to say? High. We have high risk. High. Like everybody in our family's

00:39:55.020 history, like the craziest people in the world came here, came here. Yep. Like they lived in 0.93

00:40:01.780 another country, left their entire family for maybe it working out and then came over here. Right. 0.90

00:40:08.160 So we're built crazy. So we like people to take risks and we like bravery. And despite your

00:40:14.200 politics, we react to those types of people. And like, I think this is part of the reason why

00:40:19.540 Bernie was so successful is that he's out here like calling out the billionaire class, calling

00:40:23.300 out these corporations. And even like people who were Republicans, like working class Republicans 0.90

00:40:27.760 were like, yo, who the fuck is that? I kind of, I kind of like this guy. Like it feels like he's 0.99

00:40:31.780 kind of riding for me. That's who Joe Rogan was for four years ago. All of us loved him.

00:40:35.640 And despite 10, whatever. Yeah, it was a while. But I, and I feel like that's kind of what the

00:40:41.320 democratic party is missing is just, I need a disruptive guy or girl who's willing to come 0.95

00:40:48.280 out and say eggs or a dollar. Like what's your bill to wall? Yeah. Right. You need eggs or a dollar

00:40:53.760 even. And then you could sub, I don't know, subsidize it, whatever it is, but like you need

00:40:57.540 to smack into people emotionally. Do you feel like this is the answer? Because this is the latest

00:41:02.620 messaging from the Dems on social media today. Sot 13. Choose your fighter video montage.

00:41:09.860 Oh God. Oh yes. Yeah. It's democratic female lawmakers, AOC in the fighting stance and bouncing. 1.00

00:41:21.220 Oh, she looks like an idiot. Look at this one. Look at her. Jasmine Crockett. Oh, the last one's 1.00

00:41:27.340 terrible. I'm, I have second in embarrassment. Yeah. Is that what you mean by fearless and risk

00:41:33.720 tolerance? Yeah, exactly. I mean, that to me makes me proud to be an American. Like I feel safe with

00:41:39.520 those women right there. They can defend me. Yes. Does that inspire you to get to the ballot box? 1.00

00:41:44.520 You know, it's like, I don't even know why AOC is there. She's actually, 0.71

00:41:47.840 you know, like her, hate her politics. Like I think she pulled the same as Trump in her district. 1.00

00:41:53.420 She's good on the social media. I mean, if she knows how to use social media, normally I don't

00:41:56.640 think she came up with that campaign. No, I think she's like getting on board with it. But at the

00:42:00.240 same time, like her, I guess her constituents feel like she's fighting for her. Yeah. Where there's

00:42:04.840 a lot of this. Yeah. Or sorry for them. And where it's like, I find a lot of times with the Democrats,

00:42:09.120 there is this like pretentiousness. There's this like Ivy league educated, like second or third

00:42:15.700 generation kind of trust fund netbook babies that are like telling people how they should live and how they

00:42:22.720 should vote. And it's like, first of all, if you've never had a real job, you don't get to talk.

00:42:26.940 Yep. You don't get to talk. Like I'm almost like, if you never had a kid, you don't get to talk.

00:42:30.800 But like, if you've never had a real job, you don't get to tell people how they should vote.

00:42:34.800 Like we, we just despise that. Yeah. So what I think they have to do is get back in touch with

00:42:42.140 the working class is, is very much make this a class issue. And you got to call out those people who 0.91

00:42:47.340 are giving you money, which are these billionaires and these corporations that are donating and they

00:42:51.240 won't do it. And that's why they'll probably lose. But the first person in that party that calls it

00:42:55.480 out, you're going to see the Bernie effect happen again. Well, I mean, the problem, the problem

00:42:59.260 they're dealing with right now is they don't know how to handle Trump. They don't know how to behave

00:43:02.540 properly. You know, they're way like we're debating the spoon. They're debating whether you should stand

00:43:08.440 when the 13 year old brain cancer stricken boy gets honored. They, they didn't do it. There's a meme

00:43:15.420 going on right now. I think Riley Gaines posted it saying they, they knelt for eight minutes and

00:43:21.100 43 seconds for George Floyd, but they couldn't stand for Peyton McNabb. Yeah. The now 19 year

00:43:29.020 old, formerly 16 year old who got slammed in the face with the volleyball there. They couldn't

00:43:32.280 stand for DJ Daniel, the little boy, the 13 year old boy with brain cancer. They couldn't stand

00:43:37.220 for the widow of the cop who got gunned down. They couldn't stand learning that the terrorist

00:43:42.260 who organized the Abbey gate attack got arrested. But the problem with this is like, they're falling

00:43:46.740 for the trap. And this is why you need a little bit more like boots on the ground with the Dems.

00:43:52.220 Like you got to understand like what people think of you. Like, like we were saying, people are

00:43:55.400 emotional. It's not like what you believe is real. It's what they feel is real. Right. So they've got

00:44:01.340 a couple issues. They've got a masculinity issue, right? Like I said something on, on brilliant idiots 0.86

00:44:05.880 with Charlemagne. I was just joking around. I was like, I don't know a guy like over five, 1.00

00:44:08.980 nine that identifies as a Democrat. I love that. I played that soundbite on my show.

00:44:13.240 They went crazy and I didn't realize it was going to be so reactive. And then afterwards I was like,

00:44:18.840 oh wow, they, they, they have this deep insecurity that they're not seen as masculine. So that really

00:44:25.440 tapped that insecurity. Well, they do something about it. Well, that's, so you have to find a way

00:44:29.680 to be masculine. You can be masculine and care for people. Like there's so many ways. Like I'm a

00:44:35.420 fucking kid who grew up in like an arts family in New York city. Like my whole family's Democrats. 1.00

00:44:39.400 Like this is like, there's tons of very masculine Democrats. Yeah. Like shit. Bill was maybe too

00:44:46.380 masculine. You know what I mean? Like there was a time where like, there was a time where Democrats

00:44:52.060 were getting laid and Republicans were like, oh, how do you do this outside of the marriage? You've

00:44:55.580 got to wait for, that is completely flipped. Yep. Completely. Did you feel it was masculine to

00:45:01.120 hold up the little sign saying Musk steals? Oh God. Did you, did you feel you would have done

00:45:06.200 that? Had you been a masculine Democrat? I don't even know. I mean, but to, to your point about

00:45:11.360 this is like, they're falling for the trap. The Republicans know, right. That they're going to

00:45:15.240 sit down. So they're putting out circumstances that they can't, they're like, if they sit for

00:45:20.460 this, they're going to look so bad. It's a no lose situation for Trump. But if they stood for it,

00:45:25.080 it's actually a beautiful moment. Yes. Look at this poor little kid. Yes. And, and it's a great

00:45:29.340 moment where we come together. It's just like Doge getting rid of government waste and

00:45:33.320 inefficiency, inefficiency is a great thing for America. We should have bipartisan support for

00:45:37.860 this. What Dems are doing is they're going, you're a bad guy. And that worked when people

00:45:44.460 thought Trump was bad guy. They don't anymore. That's right. They don't. You're making yourselves

00:45:50.140 look like the bad guys. Don't even talk about him. Talk about the people you want to help.

00:45:54.660 People are desperate. They need help. You need your build a wall. It's eggs or a dollar. Yep.

00:45:59.420 You need your, your build a wall. It's we're building 10,000 affordable housing units in

00:46:05.480 every city. We're seizing this land and then have developers go, wait, you can't even do that. And

00:46:09.740 go, I don't give a fuck if you say we can't do it. That's what we're doing. They don't have that 0.99

00:46:12.840 guy. Put your balls on the ground and like, just make it happen. Even if it doesn't happen. It's 0.99

00:46:18.340 like Trump saying, we're going to take Greenland. It's kind of fun. Right. Right. I like that shit.

00:46:22.660 That's the energy I'm on. I like it. Hell yeah. Like Gulf of America. I don't care. Why was it ever 1.00

00:46:27.920 Gulf of Mexico? I know we're so much bigger than they are. Right. Matter of fact, they could still

00:46:32.220 call it Gulf of Mexico. We don't care. Do you know what I mean? Like, but that's the energy that we

00:46:36.420 need. Americans love abundance. Yeah. You need to sell us on abundance. Aren't you the guy? You're

00:46:41.640 the one who said this to me and I've quoted you on it many times on how the moment Trump won you over

00:46:46.880 was when he took the guy from Montenegro by the shoulder and was like to the back. Wait, which one?

00:46:51.820 When he was over at like the G7 or the G18. Oh, I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. And he shoved that guy.

00:46:56.360 Why am I in the back? Right. I'm America. Nobody even understands what this country is. This guy in

00:47:01.280 the front. Move out of the way. I will sit here. And then he did it and everybody got in line.

00:47:05.320 It happens. You need that kind of that is some like psychotic shit. I don't think I would have 1.00

00:47:10.340 the balls to do that. That is some balls. Montenegro's in the back, sir. Bye. See you later. You're all in 1.00

00:47:15.420 the back. It doesn't really matter. If I'm giving you money, you're in the back. Yes. Are you guys giving

00:47:19.320 me money? So why are you in the front? Right. It's like that's part of his like weirdly. It's

00:47:25.480 unbelievably charming. Charm and humor. What did you think of? I thought it was very funny. The

00:47:30.200 State of the Union. Did you laugh? Great. This amount for this country. Nobody even knows what

00:47:34.600 the hell it is. Did that make you laugh out loud? Yeah. This is why another thing Democrats don't

00:47:38.620 understand. They don't understand like why this like billionaire who was given money from his dad

00:47:43.040 is so relatable. Well, why don't you listen to him talk? I've had conversations with like rich

00:47:48.040 people. OK, they don't talk like that. Yeah. They are incredibly buttoned up a lot of them

00:47:53.000 and concerned publicly about their image. And they're very deliberate about what they

00:47:57.040 say. He don't give a fuck. No. When the Indian reporter was asking him the question and he 0.99

00:48:02.400 was just dibble dabbling and then Trump let him finish and go, I don't understand what

00:48:06.620 the hell that guy's talking about. You know who says that? The guy on the construction site.

00:48:10.080 And he called her Pocahontas at the State of the Union. This is what this is how working class 1.00

00:48:14.700 people talk. This is what this is like what we do. This is how we communicate with one

00:48:19.340 another. So when we see it happen, we're like, oh, wow, I relate to that human being

00:48:23.560 again. Emotional people. We're not Ben Shapiro. Feelings, no facts. That's not what we are.

00:48:29.080 We are. I was a feeling. Ben says facts don't care about your feelings. Yeah. Yeah. We're

00:48:34.440 not the facts. Don't care about your feelings. We are. Feelings are the only thing that matter.

00:48:38.220 And when you communicate with me in a way that all my friends communicate, I start to feel

00:48:42.180 like I can kind of relate to you. It doesn't matter how much you try to make that person

00:48:45.580 radioactive because he's communicating and hitting me at my core. That's so true. It's

00:48:50.400 why his his background in construction really made him, despite his advantages in his family

00:48:55.480 and when it came to money, so relatable because he spent his whole life around working class

00:48:58.960 people. Exactly. And it's like and I and I say these things because I think America is

00:49:04.820 at its best if we have two candidates that people really are having a difficult time deciding

00:49:10.720 over. I don't want to assist. Right. Like I don't want a system like a lot of times there's

00:49:16.420 this like good versus evil dichotomy and it's like they almost want the Democrats to be bad

00:49:21.680 and the Democrats want the Republicans to be bad. Like I want America to win. Yeah. That's

00:49:26.060 the only thing I'm concerned. Whatever candidate loves America more. That's what I'm all for.

00:49:30.260 Yeah. Well, that and that was, I think, pretty clear between the Democrats of today and the

00:49:33.400 Republican Party. The best moment of Trump that I've seen on this score is the one where

00:49:39.360 he sat for that deposition on behalf of in the E. Gene Carroll case against him. And

00:49:44.960 the lawyer asked him, did you say that, that you can grab him by the P word? And they let 0.68

00:49:50.240 you get away with it. You're a celebrity. And Trump said, yes. And why did you say that?

00:49:54.060 Well, because that's the way it's been for thousands of years. You know, unfortunately

00:49:58.820 or fortunately would say that in a deposition, in a case where you're being accused of sexual

00:50:09.640 assault. I did a joke about that. And I was like, he said, yeah, he said, if you, a billionaire

00:50:13.540 can grab you by the P word. And there's a lot of women that are like, oh my God, you can't 1.00

00:50:17.360 say that. And I was like, yeah, but none of you have met a billionaire. Like, why are you

00:50:20.500 talking about this? Like, I was like, you're getting fingered by thousands.

00:50:23.320 Oh my God. This is not a relatable circumstance for you. So yeah, it's all right. Stand by.

00:50:30.020 Let me try to get this ad in. We'll be right back. He's here all day. Netflix specials

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00:52:00.080 I walked in that hospital with so much confidence. They handed me a cup. I'm handing them back a

00:52:04.480 martini. I'm ready. Remember, I went in the room. I jerked off. I opened my eyes. I looked down.

00:52:13.160 I thought I missed. There was so little sperm in this cup, I could have counted them individually. 0.79

00:52:23.840 There was a red line on the cup three quarters of the way up. 1.00

00:52:28.540 For what fucking reason? I do not know to this down. Three quarters of the way. What 0.98

00:52:34.120 zoo animal hippopotamus cups are you giving out to people? Why are you even giving me a cup? Give

00:52:40.880 me a contact lens gaze. I'll turn that shit into a Guinness. 1.00

00:52:49.320 That was so funny. It's part of, hello again, this is Andrew Schultz with me today. It's the 1.00

00:52:55.420 latest Netflix special. It's out now. It's called Life, and it's so well worth your time.

00:53:01.060 You know, maybe don't watch it with like your eight-year-old, but a teenager, absolutely love

00:53:06.100 it. I watch the whole time where I'm like, oh my God, I'm dying. I'm crying. I hope nobody knows

00:53:13.200 what I'm watching. I hope they can't hear what I'm laughing at.

00:53:16.560 There's some adult concert in there for sure, but it's all in-

00:53:19.780 But here, this is a personal story. This whole thing is about your journey with Emma and trying

00:53:24.280 to conceive a baby. I mean, no detail is spared, but so it's very personal. It's unusually personal for you.

00:53:30.700 Yeah, yeah. Did you run it by her first?

00:53:32.960 So the thing was, yeah, at first, this is the most male thing, but I assume that the reason

00:53:40.980 why we couldn't is because it was her fault, right? And I talk about it in the special where I'm like,

00:53:45.860 she was really concerned it was her fault, and I was really concerned it was her fault. We were

00:53:48.840 all really concerned.

00:53:49.860 It's obviously her fault.

00:53:50.720 Yeah, because men, we have this confidence in our sperm that there's no real reason why, 0.70

00:53:56.160 but we just know, right? Every time I've ever had sex with a girl, I was like, oh my God, 0.96

00:54:00.660 this is going to be great. What should we do? Calling the next month. I know she's pregnant 1.00

00:54:05.980 guaranteed, which I now know is a waste. And once we found out that her ovaries were perfect 1.00

00:54:11.020 and my sperm was horrible, it actually made it a lot easier for me to talk about.

00:54:16.600 Really?

00:54:17.540 Yeah, because I think the reason why anybody who has fertility issues, one, it's very isolating 1.00

00:54:22.100 because you're so protective of the person that you love that you don't, a lot of women feel a lot

00:54:27.460 of shame around this.

00:54:28.320 Yeah, true.

00:54:29.060 And at first, I felt like real shame. I was like, does God not want me to have a child? I didn't

00:54:34.880 understand it. I think I'm a pretty good person, and I'm kind to people, and I'm like, why is this

00:54:39.060 happening? What the fuck is going on? And yeah, so I get that. And a lot of women, if they are 1.00

00:54:44.360 struggling, they're just like, they feel like it's a, I don't feel very stigmatized, right? 0.87

00:54:49.820 And, but once she was perfect and I was fucked up, I could get on stage and it was really cathartic 0.85

00:54:55.560 to talk about it. And then once I started talking about it, I literally thought that I was like, 0.97

00:55:01.660 this was like a one in like 10 million thing.

00:55:04.000 Oh, wow.

00:55:05.440 The thing I started talking about, all my friends start telling me that they're doing IVF.

00:55:08.720 Oh, wow.

00:55:09.160 And like, all these people in the audience would hit me up afterwards. They're like,

00:55:12.540 oh yeah, same thing happened. And I was like, what the fuck? Is this like the last taboo 1.00

00:55:17.200 subject?

00:55:17.900 How did anybody ever get pregnant before IVF? Because everybody's doing it. 0.99

00:55:20.620 Dude, it is like, it's unbelievable. It's almost like, I was like, does anybody really get

00:55:28.160 abortion? Like, it's so hard to get pregnant. Why is this an issue? Like, how often do these

00:55:34.940 athletes have unprotected sex if they have 20 kids? Like, like I couldn't believe it. It was

00:55:40.500 unfathomable. So, um, but then it became like, yeah, there, as brutal as it was, there was these

00:55:45.160 kind of funny moments. That being one of them, just that, that the, the humility going into the

00:55:50.260 room with the lady. Oh, we just talked to the audience. You know, Doug came in to say hi to

00:55:54.120 Andrew in the commercial break. And, uh, we were bonding over our shared experience because he and

00:55:58.320 I did IVF with our kids too. And, uh, Doug joked that after he had donate the sample,

00:56:03.140 first he said he was going to wear like a red crushed velvet smoking jacket on his way in and

00:56:08.160 on the other way out. He was just going to be like, that was fantastic. I was amazing. Yeah. I

00:56:12.780 was always thinking about like, do I make noises in there? Like how uncomfortable do I make it for

00:56:16.880 the other guys at the clinic? Like just screaming random things. Yes. Sesame street. Just something

00:56:23.020 crazy. But yeah, it's like, I was crazy. It was like a walk of shame when you're walking by all the

00:56:27.840 other guys there, everybody's there. Oh God, I know what you're about to do. It's so humbling. You're just

00:56:32.340 sitting in this room. Like all of you are in there. You're like, so why did they make you go

00:56:36.540 in to give the sperm sample? I didn't think it couldn't be. I did it from home once. Okay.

00:56:41.180 The whole, I don't even, I haven't even put like a lot of the stuff in it, but like the whole journey

00:56:44.780 was brutal. So the first one I did from home, which was like, I'm in the room. My wife like hands

00:56:49.800 me the thing. Like it's like homework. And she's like, okay, I'll give you 30 minutes. You go do your

00:56:54.100 thing. I'm going to go outside or I'm going to do the dishes. So like I hear her doing the dishes 1.00

00:56:58.980 in the background where I'm like being mandated to masturbate. And, uh, I'm like on our bed. 0.94

00:57:04.880 Like, I don't think I've ever masturbated on a bed. Like I'm just on our bed and the bed

00:57:08.540 is made perfectly. Like everything is like set up. And I remember at one point, like,

00:57:13.560 I'm just like, I don't know, this is like so weird. And I like looked up and the TV was

00:57:17.660 off. So it was just a black screen. So it's a perfect mirror of me.

00:57:21.640 And I was just like, this is the saddest day of my life. I'm sitting Indian style on 0.99

00:57:27.880 my bed. I'm trying to make a sample. We send that sample in, it comes back and it's like,

00:57:35.300 it's, it's not good. And they're like, not only are they not swimming, they're like shaped

00:57:39.380 weird. And I was like, I was like a little defensive. So I was like, well, could that be

00:57:43.940 from like the speed that they hit the cup? Like maybe, you know, it's the blunt force trauma

00:57:50.140 kind of warp them a little. The flow is just too strong. It was too strong. That's what,

00:57:53.960 that's what it is. And, uh, they're like, no, that's definitely not it. And I was like, okay.

00:57:58.740 And, uh, they go, uh, they go, well, why don't you do this for like a couple months? 0.99

00:58:02.660 Wear baggy underwear, ice your balls every single day. Yeah. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess 0.95

00:58:08.580 that's a big thing. Um, don't drink anymore. Don't smoke anymore and take these pills and then

00:58:14.520 we'll try it again in like a month or two. And I did that and we tried it again and it got worse.

00:58:20.140 No. And I was like, why do you think that is? And the doctor was like, we've never seen this

00:58:26.020 before. There's some pride in that. It's gotta be a little bit. I'm setting records. I'm setting

00:58:30.740 records. I told a story one time when Dave Rubin was on, but Doug had the, this, the funniest

00:58:35.280 experience there where, um, they make you ejaculate like 24 hours before the real sample. That's going

00:58:42.580 to be like your future kid. Yeah. Yeah. They want you to clean the house. Yes. It's like, I can't

00:58:46.320 remember if it was 24 or 48 hours. 48 hours before it. Yeah. Okay. So, but they want it

00:58:51.040 to be 48 and they don't really want it to be 46 or 44 because you need the amount of time

00:58:56.480 to build up the new batch. Yes. So like timing does matter. It just so happened that on one

00:59:00.740 of ours, we were visiting my, my Nana who was literally like 90 at the time and we were playing

00:59:08.180 dominoes and I was like, Oh, Doug, it's time. He was like, what? I'm like, you got to go in there

00:59:14.200 right now. My poor husband. And you know, it was like one of these older persons homes where like 1.00

00:59:19.220 there's five inches between the bottom of the door and the, and the ground every piece

00:59:24.540 of conversation. The dominoes, like your palm in the double five, you know, and Doug's

00:59:29.080 horrible for Doug. This is the thing about this is like, it's a, it's the, this, the journey

00:59:38.940 is brutal when you're in it is the hardest thing that you'll go through in your life. Sorry.

00:59:42.760 It was definitely the hardest thing we went through. And, um, but after the fact it is

00:59:48.440 hysterical. Yes. Like there's believe what you've been through. Yeah. And like, there

00:59:53.000 are so many of these things that are so funny. And the beautiful thing about having a child

00:59:56.720 is you get this like amnesia for what you went through to get there. And I think that's

01:00:01.320 actually kind of like built into our DNA. So we keep making them. I totally agree. You

01:00:05.180 know, like same women have been saying that for eons because of the pain of labor and it's 1.00

01:00:09.800 so, you know, devastating. And then you forget all about it. I never had labor because I

01:00:15.020 had three C sections, but my friends tell me it's extremely painful. Oh, my, Emma was

01:00:19.460 in there for 24 hours and then she had the C section because the, uh, the baby's heart 0.98

01:00:22.980 rate dropped. Oh God, that's scary. Yeah. The whole thing is, is, is terrible. When you

01:00:26.640 were doing the shots before to prepare for the IVF, like, did you have any fun, uh, mood

01:00:31.740 swings or anything? Oh yeah. I was actually fine. I did not have weird mood swings, but it was

01:00:37.320 very funny because Doug does not like he, his mom got this terrible cut in her leg and

01:00:42.880 it was so brutal. And Doug was right there. He bandaged it up. He put the medicine on.

01:00:47.080 I was like, I can't take that kind of injury, but you pull out a needle and Doug is one of

01:00:53.500 those like, Oh, so he, so he can't shots, but he had to, in the beginning, as it turned

01:00:58.820 out, he didn't have to, but we thought he did. Yeah. Because in the beginning, they really

01:01:02.480 make it up into a thing. Like you got to mix the compound and it's like kind of back in

01:01:05.500 a hard spot to reach. You got to ice the area. Oh my God. I like our future family

01:01:09.800 depends on this. Yeah. And Doug was in a hot, like a cold sweat. And the superintendent

01:01:14.740 of our building at the time, his name was Lance. And they were like, it's very important

01:01:18.160 that your wife have a partner that helps with it. And Doug is like, this is gonna be

01:01:20.680 very hard for Lance. Yeah. He did it. He did it. He got it through. But honestly, by the

01:01:28.260 third child, you know, he, Doug was no part of it. I was like, I need no ice. I'm good.

01:01:32.940 Boom. We're done after the race. It is crazy that they make you mix it at home. So anybody

01:01:37.580 who's not familiar, they give you these two, uh, I guess, hormonal compounds and you have

01:01:43.220 to put them together in the syringe and just the right proportions. I'm like, why isn't

01:01:48.540 this done at the lab? And then we just hit it. Like you don't have to make the Kit Kat,

01:01:52.620 right? Like make the bar and then send it to me. And I remember like watching my wife do 1.00

01:01:57.220 these things, making sure it's the right amount. You've got to push a little out. So no air

01:02:00.660 gets in there. Right. Right. So you don't give yourself an air bubble, like life or death

01:02:04.140 literally. And she's like, did I push too much out? Will I not get it? Is this, but

01:02:09.440 there, yeah, there was fun. I mean, Emma would get like, it would really get her going.

01:02:13.260 Would she get angry or just overly emotional? Oh, angry. Like, but we didn't know that that

01:02:18.300 was the cause. So like, I remember we got into it at a Japanese restaurant. You don't realize

01:02:23.580 how quiet those restaurants are until you're having like a loud blow up with like, and you

01:02:28.320 know, the only thing interrupting the blow up, cause everybody is already quiet at a Japanese 1.00

01:02:32.580 restaurant. And then once you have like a verbal altercation, they're really quiet.

01:02:37.460 Oh, I love when somebody has a fight and I'm nearby. Oh my God. Doug and I, like, he'll

01:02:41.820 start talking about it. Be quiet. This is too important to me. We got to lock in. Everybody

01:02:44.640 was locked in. They're just slurping udon and watching us. And the only thing that would

01:02:48.320 interrupt it is like when a new person would walk in and you know, the whole, the whole restaurant

01:02:51.620 has to go, Emma would feel like they were interrupting our argument. So, so, so we're 0.62

01:03:01.020 fighting. Emma goes, are you kidding me? And then back to yelling at me. It's just amazing.

01:03:07.260 Well, were you, so you weren't that guy who was like, she's going through a lot. These

01:03:10.460 are just her emotions. I'm just going to let, I'm going to let everything slide. I'm not

01:03:14.240 going to get mad about anything. We didn't know that it was the case. So we didn't know

01:03:18.240 until literally that night I go, Hey, did we do the shot? We did the shot today. Right.

01:03:23.920 And she goes, Oh shit. And we're walking down. We were on Kenmare Street. That's when you 1.00

01:03:27.420 put it together that she's hormonal. And then, and then she was also like, Oh fuck, I guess 1.00

01:03:32.260 I'm like really reactive to this. And then from then on, we stopped going to Japanese restaurants. 0.99

01:03:37.280 And then how about after she had the baby? Did she have like, cause you're sleep deprived.

01:03:41.720 You're very hormonal. It's the most insane thing. If you're, did you breastfeed? Yeah. Okay.

01:03:46.140 That is the, I think that this is, I think that is the most difficult part of child rearing

01:03:54.640 is the, the, if you are breastfeeding full time, like meaning every two hours, that is insane.

01:04:02.780 Yeah. It's a lot. That is insane. Every two hours. So you're waking up. I don't think a lot

01:04:08.640 of people know this. You're waking up every two hours in the night. You don't get more than an

01:04:12.980 hour of sleep at a time. It's truly like a, like an astronaut training situation.

01:04:17.440 Yeah. No, it's brutal. But then, then it, it lets up a little.

01:04:22.640 When it lets up, there's this beautiful bonding experience that you have with your child. And

01:04:25.900 like, it's something even now, like Emma's still breastfeeding and it's just this thing that she's

01:04:30.600 like, she doesn't even want to let go of it. Yeah. Well then you get to like the six month mark

01:04:34.600 where the baby can start having like a smaller, like a solid food and they're still having breast 0.74

01:04:39.820 milk. And you're at the point now where like, you're, you're producing the more, more milk than

01:04:43.300 ever. And yet the baby's somewhat getting a little independent and the weight comes shredding off.

01:04:49.160 That's the best moment where you're like, I'm making tons of milk. All these calories are coming

01:04:54.700 off for free. Oh, cause your body is burning calories. But your, your baby doesn't need as 0.80

01:04:59.300 much milk as from you as he needed it five months. Cause now he's starting to eat food, but your body

01:05:05.140 doesn't know that. So it's still burning like 800 calories a day. You're like, Oh my God,

01:05:09.480 I have a waste again. There's a normal ass. Thank you, sweet baby. I always say they're selling 1.00

01:05:17.040 breastfeeding to moms all wrong that you would care about the health of our babies, but we know 1.00

01:05:20.280 that babies who are formula fat are fine too. You have to sell it to them like Ozempic. You'll be

01:05:24.600 skinny. Yes. It is natural Ozempic. It's natural Ozempic. Let that baby suck the fat out of you. 1.00

01:05:30.280 They put it on you. It's the least they can do. That is their gift. Yes. Wow. That is true. 1.00

01:05:34.880 So true. Yeah. Emma really got her shit back. Yeah. It was like, was your baby's only like one

01:05:38.960 now, right? Yeah. Yeah. 13 months. So now is it, is it kicking in now? Like that's usually when

01:05:44.360 you're like, Hmm, what about number two? Let's, let's go. You're going to fire up the machines 0.59

01:05:48.120 again. Literally. She was like, do you want to do it this month? And I was like, can I just get the

01:05:51.460 special out? Can I get, let's get the special out. Let's do like a weekend somewhere. This has been

01:05:56.000 like three years in the making between like making a baby and also, you know, making the special and

01:06:01.700 like, let's just take a, let's just take a little vacation. And you've probably been told this, but

01:06:05.420 you know, like the difference between one and two is large. Wait, tell me, what do you mean? Like

01:06:11.660 your relationship with them? No, no. When you just have one baby, like in the beginning,

01:06:15.840 you're overwhelmed as you know, but like by year one, you kind of get it down. Oh yeah. And things

01:06:19.360 are, you know, you can still have a life. Yeah. You can still take a nap. You and Emma can still steal

01:06:24.780 away for like an hour in the middle of the day while your one baby is asleep or somebody else would

01:06:29.900 easily watch your one baby. Yeah. But when you have two babies, like under the age of three,

01:06:35.640 you're effed. There's no napping ever. There's no downtime. This is where you really start thinking

01:06:41.440 about having live in help. Like who can come live with us so I can sleep again. I don't even remember

01:06:48.040 three. It's like all a blur, but I, I felt the difference from one to two was much larger than

01:06:52.700 from two to three. Like you, you've given up your free time when you have to. Got it. Got it. And

01:06:56.960 like a third, even a fourth, I think would have, I would have had a fourth if I had been younger when

01:07:00.620 Doug and I had met, but one to two is big. Okay. My, my buddy said, he goes, he, he, he agreed on

01:07:08.440 one to two. He goes, but two to three, cause he just had his third. He goes, he goes, man, two to

01:07:12.820 three. He goes, I don't know. I go, what do you mean? I don't know. He goes, you're outnumbered,

01:07:17.020 bro. There's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can do. They have you like you're with one.

01:07:22.600 This one's fucking around doing something. You just constantly need help. Yeah. It is, uh, 0.99

01:07:27.860 especially when they're, but yeah, we want to have another one. We would want to have another one.

01:07:31.680 No, I, I remember early on in our, um, tenure of having two, um, Doug went to see his mom one day

01:07:38.940 is, uh, went to visit his family, but it was just, just a day trip. Yeah. And it was the first time I'd

01:07:44.060 been alone for like 12 hours with both of them, uh, without Doug being there. I'm like, I'm good. I'm

01:07:51.220 fine. Like I had a newborn and a two-year-old and like, honey, I'm trust me. I'm, I'm the mother.

01:07:56.540 I've got this. And, um, so I was pushing, it was late in the day. Things hadn't gone that smoothly.

01:08:01.920 I'm not going to lie. And I took them out for a walk and I was pushing the baby in her stroller.

01:08:05.920 And my two-year-old was like walking next to me early. He was on like that little ride on thing

01:08:10.220 that you can put on your stroller, like on his feet. And, uh, he had this thing where you love to take

01:08:14.980 off. Okay. So we're, I'm pushing the baby up a hill and he's on the little ride on thing standing

01:08:20.160 there. And Doug turns the corner in his car coming home just at that moment. Right. So he

01:08:25.760 sees the whole thing. So at this moment, Yates, our oldest did not see Doug. He was just doing his

01:08:31.020 thing. He takes off running and there's a massive street straight ahead to, to which he's running.

01:08:36.380 And I can't just let go of the baby stroller because I'm on an incline. Like if I let go of

01:08:40.660 the baby stroller, she's going to go, but he's running toward traffic the other way. So all this is

01:08:45.560 happening and there's Doug and he, he kind of does the gentle beep and waves. And I was like,

01:08:49.440 Oh, Oh, hi. Oh, totally. Yeah. And then finally I'm like, lock the stroller. Try to rescue the

01:08:58.880 toddler. I'm like, I got it. I'm under control. No, he knew it wasn't true. The whole thing is

01:09:06.020 so humbling, isn't it? Yeah. As you add more and as they get older into the toddler years,

01:09:10.880 even more so. It is amazingly humbling. That's the best way to describe it. All of it. Right. You

01:09:15.640 don't know anything. You know, nothing. It's crazy to even give you the baby. I remember when

01:09:19.460 they first gave us the baby to leave the hospital, I was like, how is this legal? Isn't there someone

01:09:23.800 more qualified? We are, we are not professionals at all. Like they just give you like, here's how

01:09:28.440 you wrap it. All right. Have a good, good luck at home. Right. I mean, it's just, so do you do,

01:09:32.900 are you an involved dad? Do you change diapers? Oh yeah. Yeah. I feel like you can't,

01:09:36.860 you can't really have an opinion on how it's raised if you're not doing

01:09:40.200 some of the things. Like, obviously I'm at work, you know? Yep. So like Emma,

01:09:45.940 this was actually really hard for her. I wonder if you felt this way at all, but like, uh, you know,

01:09:51.080 my wife is, Oh, there you are. She's my little Shiloh. She's so cute. Yeah. So, so Emma's like, 0.98

01:09:56.520 uh, she's, you know, very like successful in her own right. Like she got her MBA and then she was

01:10:01.060 working and managing, uh, AI, uh, projects for Apple. And then she was like, I don't really want to do

01:10:07.460 this. I want to be a mom. And I feel a little guilty even saying that, but that is the true

01:10:11.040 thing that I want to do with my life. Like it's always been my dream to be a mom. And I was like,

01:10:15.260 listen, if you want to do it, don't do it. Cause I said it because then you'll resent me if you

01:10:21.280 realize that you wish you never should have quit your job. Yeah. But if you want to do it, then go

01:10:25.760 for it. And, uh, it was like interesting watching her like grapple with that. And that's something that

01:10:31.620 I hope changes in the very near future. I think it's starting to, yeah. Like,

01:10:36.760 I think that we should reward mothers that stay at home in the same way that we reward 0.96

01:10:42.420 mothers that go work and, and value and talk about. Yeah. Yeah. I, I feel like Republicans

01:10:48.320 are way ahead on that Democrats. I don't think they're there. Yeah. Maybe not. I mean, it's just

01:10:54.040 like when you go to certain countries that like value, I think it's also like a big city thing where

01:10:59.180 there's not a lot of like family built into it. Like I grew up in New York city and it was very rare

01:11:03.180 that there were like families there. And, um, so they're just the idea of it. Like a kid crying

01:11:08.820 on the subway can be like bothersome to some people. And whereas like, once you have kids,

01:11:12.980 you see a kid crying, you're like, Oh, it's adorable. Or I know that for the parents. But

01:11:16.360 I hope that as the pendulum continues to swing with feminism or masculinity or whatever these 0.94

01:11:24.640 things are, I hope that there is this place for moms that stay home and it is a privilege, 0.50

01:11:30.660 but that they don't feel this kind of scrutiny. I think it's like a really beautiful thing if you

01:11:35.500 can afford it to do. Yeah. I couldn't agree more. And also for guys who are sensitive and empathic,

01:11:41.680 but not man bun sand, Mandel's Merce toting. This is a thing that I don't get about like the

01:11:47.660 masculinity movement right now. It's like a lot of these guys like at the, at the forefront of it,

01:11:51.940 like don't even aren't even dads. Yeah. So it's like, yeah. Okay. You got like, you could deadlift

01:11:57.580 like, or some are just like, you know, or deadbeat dads. I was going to say they're producing

01:12:03.580 children, but they're not even looking after it. It's like, why are you, why do you get to

01:12:06.880 decide what masculinity is? Like, I think that's like the least masculine thing you can do. That's

01:12:10.520 like a coward. That's right. I was talking to Rogan about this. He says, listen, there's a lot of 0.99

01:12:13.780 bitches out there and even bitches need a leader of the bitches. And I think sometimes we're mistaking 1.00

01:12:19.860 them for like being masculine guys. It's like having muscles doesn't make you masculine. Like

01:12:24.400 to me being involved in your kid's life is masculine. What, I mean, what tough guy ever tells you

01:12:30.080 how tough he is. They don't, they don't talk about that. Exactly. Like the greatest of all,

01:12:34.280 like Michael Jordan never said he was the greatest. He didn't need to. We knew. Right. So like when I

01:12:38.340 see like involved parents, like one of the most beautiful things about this whole process,

01:12:42.420 even talking about these things is like seeing how much people love their children and like feeling

01:12:48.160 really comfortable sharing that. And they'll share these stories about when they first had their kid

01:12:52.640 and like seeing dads. I mean, this guy who was driving me and when I was in Austin recently,

01:12:57.060 he was telling me about how he does this like daddy daughter dates and he has these two daughters and

01:13:00.440 they each get a different day. And like, that's the shit I would like to see promoted a little bit 0.99

01:13:05.120 more in the masculinity movement in America. Like, don't tell me like how much time that you could 0.99

01:13:11.340 like jog. Yeah. You know, I don't care how many miles you could run, how much money you have in the

01:13:15.820 bank. Yeah. Like I don't give a fuck. They don't give, I'll tell you one thing. They don't,

01:13:19.940 your daughter don't care. Well, you do a very funny bit in life about how you, you have,

01:13:25.300 there's so much pressure of being a dad to a daughter because one wrong move and she's on

01:13:29.760 OnlyFans. Yo, and it's your fault. You missed a volleyball game. It's, and it's your, it's daddy.

01:13:34.300 Like there's no such thing as mommy issues. Oh, we have that. Okay. Let's watch that. That's so

01:13:37.980 funny. It's hot six. I have a screenshot of the moment I found out that I was going to have a

01:13:42.860 daughter. If you want to see stress, if you want to see pressure, put that shit up. That's, 1.00

01:13:49.860 that's a real picture. This is the pressure of knowing no matter what happens to your

01:13:57.480 daughter is dad's fault. I miss one volleyball game. She starts an OnlyFans. It's my fault for 0.99

01:14:02.760 You're not wrong. Daddy issues is a thing. What's mommy issues? No, it's not really. I mean,

01:14:11.420 it can happen, but what is it? It's not as much of a phrase. We don't even know what it is. Like

01:14:15.940 there's no, like if a kid shoots up a school, we don't go on mommy issues. No, it's more like

01:14:20.600 he can't leave his mom. I, that's what I attribute it to me. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah.

01:14:24.760 You did a good job being a mom. Yeah. Wow. Your son loves you. And as a deep connection to the most

01:14:31.040 important human being, you know, like that's a positive effect. Now you're terrified of making

01:14:35.380 the wrong move. Yeah. Like, I don't know. I don't want, like, I want my kids to be incredibly

01:14:40.920 comfortable with their family. Not like waiting to jump at the first person who's going to take

01:14:44.980 them away. You, you wouldn't find it empowering for your daughter to consider becoming a quote,

01:14:49.220 sex worker. Oh my God. This was praised. Can we just call them whores? Like, I hate the fact that 0.99

01:14:54.280 we're like making up these terms that make it seem more dignified. Right. It's whore. Right. 0.98

01:14:59.880 That's it. Well, what about that girl on only fans? I don't know her name, but she's the 0.99

01:15:04.580 one who had sex with like a hundred people in a day. And then like, and she's now going 0.97

01:15:09.380 on a tour of nursing homes. That's cool. I like that. I wondered how you're going to

01:15:15.080 react to that. I like it. I had a crazy thing. We do. Oh, we actually, my team is way ahead

01:15:19.320 of me here. Here she is. And sought 24. Her name is Lily Phillips. I found my oldest

01:15:25.820 fan via Facebook. And when I asked for his address, he actually sent me the address of

01:15:32.500 a car home. So I'm actually here with him and his friends and I'm going to show them

01:15:37.320 a good time.

01:15:40.320 So these, they actually figured it out. This is heroic. I liked this. No judgment. No, no,

01:15:48.380 no, no, no, no, no, no. They figured it out. Those are sex workers. That's work. That is 1.00

01:15:54.280 no, no, no, no, no, no. This is, I didn't know that they were doing this. I, when they

01:15:58.020 were doing those, like, you know, a hundred girls or a hundred dudes or a thousand dudes

01:16:01.000 or whatever. I'm like, this is disgusting. But, but having sex with old guys in old people 1.00

01:16:06.880 homes, that is like, that is altruism. That is when we're talking about charity. That's what 0.99

01:16:14.280 she's saying. Yeah. When she's ready. That is charity. That is beautiful. That is fucking

01:16:19.060 beautiful. I feel so uncomfortable with it. Yeah. It's uncomfortable. Yes. Very. But for 0.99

01:16:24.440 not for them, those guys there. Oh, they're so excited. What do you think? Like, you know,

01:16:30.040 could they could die happy? Oh, they'll die happy. They'll also just forget it. And then

01:16:36.120 the next day, that's the sad part is they won't even remember it happened. Yeah. I that's,

01:16:39.920 that's actually one of my favorite jokes I heard a long time ago, which was, um, uh, like

01:16:43.540 a 95 year old guy, marries a 25 year old gal and goes to the doctor right before the wedding.

01:16:48.160 And he says, uh, is there anything I need to know doc? And the doc says, yeah, you know,

01:16:51.420 you should know that sex at this point could be dangerous, even lethal. And he said, if she dies,

01:16:57.300 she dies. That's great. Yeah. There's a, my dad is a dementia and, uh, which is, you know, 0.99

01:17:02.320 obviously very sad. He's my hero. And you know, he's, he introduces me in the special. And, um,

01:17:06.760 but like during this time where Em and I were trying to get pregnant, I would go over every week to see

01:17:10.500 him and, uh, he'd be like, how are things going? And I'm like, uh, uh, it's, you know, rough trying

01:17:14.480 to get, um, I'm just trying to get pregnant. It's just not really going that well. And he would go,

01:17:19.240 uh, he goes, well, if you need some help, you know, I can, I can help him. And he would forget

01:17:23.460 that he would say the joke and every week I would go over and he would offer to have sex with my wife 0.99

01:17:30.800 him. So this goes on for like six months. So this is now what I will say is that might be like the 0.99

01:17:39.240 negative side of dementia, but one of the cool positives is, um, and you know, life is about

01:17:45.380 perspective, right? You can have good perspective on even the worst things. Like he gets to find out

01:17:49.880 he has a granddaughter every single time I see him. Is that right? Yeah. Now sometimes he'll kind of

01:17:56.420 remember. Sometimes it might not be there, but like, that must be a pretty cool feeling. Does he

01:18:00.720 remember you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's his, it's, it's hard building new long-term memories. Okay.

01:18:06.040 Like the way the memories it works is there's like short-term and long-term and you can create new

01:18:09.900 long-term memories just by continuous efforts. So like repeating the same thing over and over again,

01:18:15.220 like with the table manners. Exactly. Reinforcement, reinforcement, constant, but, uh, but short-term,

01:18:20.080 he doesn't really, he's 81. So how long has he been dealing with this? Honestly,

01:18:25.860 it started, I think when I got out of college, like even 20 years ago, I started noticing these

01:18:30.700 things like very small, but it was like, Oh, something's kind of up. And then, so does that,

01:18:36.600 does that make you worry for yourself? Do you ever think about it? Anytime I forget anything,

01:18:40.600 I'm like, I got it. Yep. But I don't know if it exactly works like that. Right. I know. I have such

01:18:45.720 a fear of this and my, my mom doesn't have Alzheimer's and my dad died too young for me to know,

01:18:50.760 you know, he died at 45 of a heart attack. Um, but I worry about it so much because it's like,

01:18:55.860 it can happen to anybody and it can, even if you're using your brain as you do for a living,

01:19:00.960 as I do for a living, you're not immune. It's got Sandra Day O'Connor, who's like, I mean, 0.92

01:19:05.520 you're not, there's nothing more intellectually straining than being on the U S Supreme court.

01:19:09.840 Yeah. So it's just so indiscriminate and it's terrifying to me. Some say diet.

01:19:14.440 Yep. Diet. I can really impact. And sleep. Every time I have a sleepless night, I'm like, ah,

01:19:19.460 it's over getting my early alleys. Yeah. It's coming on. Yeah. Cause you do,

01:19:22.960 you don't remember when you have a bad night's sleep, you don't remember that as well the next

01:19:28.600 day. I will say it, it does kind of expose like, uh, your true character and a lot of times.

01:19:34.540 And, uh, one of the cool rewarding things about it is just like seeing what like a good human my dad

01:19:40.440 is. I've always thought he's like this angel, but like a truly just good kind human. Like he was,

01:19:46.760 my mom had to take his like debit card. Cause he would like give, uh, the people who sell the fruit

01:19:51.740 in the neighborhood, just money and forget he did it and then go back and keep getting

01:19:56.840 popular. Yeah. These fucking assholes kept letting them give him money. Oh no, that's low.

01:20:00.920 Yeah, that is low. Yeah. So I made a call to Trump and I was like, we got some, I got a couple

01:20:06.300 speaking of having murder people. Exactly. Oh, that's, I mean, that's good. You take care of

01:20:11.420 him. You have a good perspective on it. I always feel like if God forbid this happens to me, I said this

01:20:15.900 to Doug, you know, please make sure I'm sitting in a room with all my favorite movies just on loop.

01:20:20.380 Yep. And, uh, you know, my favorite audio books, just playing on loop. Like I can just keep enjoying

01:20:24.600 these series over and over and over. Yeah. I'm not sure that's exactly the way it works,

01:20:27.940 but that's how I'd like to believe it's going to work. It will. But I don't think that, I don't

01:20:31.560 know who knows what will happen. I hope it won't happen, but don't stress about it now. I know

01:20:35.420 you shouldn't plenty of time to stress about it later. Well, the other thing is, you know,

01:20:39.000 there's, this is one of the things that RFKJ has been talking about. You know, there's been such

01:20:43.140 bullshit going on in the public health world for so long. And we talked about this, about this on our show 0.99

01:20:48.460 four, three years ago where this massive thing came out with, with this guy committed fraud in

01:20:54.100 saying they'd made this major breakthrough in Alzheimer's and that they really zeroed in on

01:20:58.700 the amyloid plaque. Yeah. Yeah. And then it turned out he had been faking all the photos to show this

01:21:04.780 and they'd been repeated. And he was like the gold standard researcher in all this. And now it's like

01:21:09.920 it was Alzheimer's research was set back by 15, 20 years. It's one of the other reasons why I just feel

01:21:16.080 so good. We have people in there now who will not treat any of this prior bullshit as, you know, 0.89

01:21:22.260 godly and untouchable. Yeah. You know, Jay Bhattacharya, who just took over at NIH, he's 0.97

01:21:27.360 being confirmed right now as his hearings are underway. Um, they were like, so you're not going

01:21:32.560 to go back and look at whether childhood vaccines are linked to autism, right? Those are well-settled 0.94

01:21:36.580 studies that it's, there's no link whatsoever. And to his credit, he was like, look, I understand

01:21:41.220 there's been a lot of research on this, but I'm not, he basically said, I'm not going to say

01:21:44.220 never. Like I think there's nothing wrong with going back and looking and then revealing the

01:21:48.780 science to everybody. I think, I think that the most important thing that anybody that is

01:21:54.100 representing a government institution can do right now is be transparent about their failures and

01:22:00.140 their successes. So if going back and looking at the research and then presenting studies shows that

01:22:06.660 there is no link, that's awesome. Yeah. Now I trust it coming from you. I trust it. Yeah. I'm feeling

01:22:11.760 concerned. Like I joke around all the time. Like I believe whatever the last YouTube video I watched

01:22:15.880 is that, that is what I believe a hundred percent. Like I'm easily convinced, like I'm locked in. So

01:22:21.580 if, if you're, if you're RFK, if you're this guy, it's like, just be transparent. Tell us where the

01:22:27.820 fuck ups were. Yeah. Don't gaslight us. Cause we've been gaslighted so gaslit so much that I feel 0.99

01:22:34.220 like that it's completely dissolved our confidence and confidence in these institutions. And in order to

01:22:38.600 have like a proud American public, we need something to be proud of. We can be proud.

01:22:44.420 We fuck up too. You can fuck up and we will forgive you. Give us that opportunity. Yeah. But 1.00

01:22:50.600 I cannot forgive you if you continue to lie to me. That's right. If you are not accountable for

01:22:55.160 anything at all. Like, and I think that's why Fauci, he'll never be forgiven. That's why he probably

01:23:00.040 took the, he took the, what's it called? The, uh, the, the pardon. Yeah. It's like, why do you even

01:23:04.120 need to take the pardon? Yeah. Meanwhile, I will say Elon's out there. Like we did screw up. We

01:23:08.440 canceled funding for Ebola. Nobody likes Ebola, but you know that we're resuming that more of that.

01:23:12.720 I love that. Like to me, instead of looking at that and hopefully the opposition or hopefully

01:23:18.420 Democrats don't use them to see, he's an asshole. You should use that as an example of how you should 0.99

01:23:23.200 conduct yourself in public. Hey, we messed up. We're bringing it back. We're bringing those people

01:23:27.960 back. It doesn't sound like Trump to me. Trump refuses to ever do it. He is the first

01:23:34.100 one on which he explained the weave. Yeah, it was right. Yeah. That was an amazing soundbite.

01:23:38.520 Oh dude. He was the, I think the best moment of that whole thing to me was when he goes, uh,

01:23:44.540 I'm basically an honest person and I'll never forget that. I think about that once a day

01:23:51.340 because it's actually the most honest thing you can say. Yeah. If you, everybody looked at that,

01:23:57.260 like, see, he's admitting he's a liar. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. A liar would say,

01:24:03.120 I'm an honest person. I never lie. Yeah. And then meanwhile, I don't know if this is true,

01:24:07.840 but they say like the average person lies something like 15 times a day. It's something

01:24:11.820 ridiculous. Um, but no, that was a great interview that you did with him. We actually have a clip of 0.70

01:24:17.500 it, right? Let's, let's, let's play it and we'll take a break later. You know, I do a thing called

01:24:21.200 The Weave. I don't ramble. Oh yeah, here it is. If I saw the story, what you do is you weave things

01:24:25.840 and you do it. You need an extraordinary memory because you have to come back to where you started.

01:24:31.220 Yes. You always, a weave is only good if you come back for that. You can go all the way over here

01:24:35.820 and then get back. And I can go so far here or there and I can come back to exactly where I

01:24:41.720 started. Now, someday when you don't come back to where you started. You're Biden.

01:24:46.180 He, he wasn't wrong. Like it was, and he does do The Weave and he does manage to land it back.

01:24:54.540 I mean, he's just, the way he's like, the way he constructs sentences is different than normal

01:24:59.600 people. It's like, whatever idea pops in, he grabs onto it and he continues. And I mean,

01:25:06.780 you've been talking in front of a camera to millions of people for decades. You probably

01:25:11.860 know by now, like the people that you listen to are the ones you cannot predict the next word

01:25:16.740 they're going to say for better or for worse. Right, right. You can't predict how he's going

01:25:20.220 to finish his sentence. Oh God, no. It could start on Ukraine. And then he's like, I had the best

01:25:26.380 falafel. You know, the thing about falafel is there's a place in New York, Mamoons. We bought 1.00

01:25:30.740 that building. It was a great building. Like it's just, and I'm, I'm locked in. Yeah. You're,

01:25:35.520 you're riveted. The train is gone. Yeah, but he will get back to Ukraine at the end. He'll get

01:25:38.880 back to Ukraine. To his credit. Cause that's, that's the place where most of us fall apart. 1.00

01:25:42.400 You know, you lost your train of thought. You're off, you're meandering down a tributary. You never

01:25:45.960 get back on the main river. Trump always does. All right, stand by. We're going to, we're going to

01:25:49.640 take a little tributary now. We'll be back on the main river with Andrew Schultz,

01:25:53.280 whose new special life is on Netflix right now. Go download it. Do yourself a favor.

01:25:59.020 And we'll be right back with Andrew. I'm Megan Kelly, host of the Megan Kelly show on Sirius XM.

01:26:05.720 It's your home for open, honest, and provocative conversations with the most interesting and

01:26:10.600 important political, legal, and cultural figures today. You can catch the Megan Kelly show on

01:26:15.240 Triumph, a Sirius XM channel featuring lots of hosts. You may know, and probably love great people

01:26:21.760 like Dr. Laura, Glenn Beck, Nancy Grace, Dave Ramsey, and yours truly, Megan Kelly. You can stream

01:26:28.740 the Megan Kelly show on Sirius XM at home or anywhere you are. No car required. I do it all

01:26:34.900 the time. I love the Sirius XM app. It has ad free music coverage of every major sport, comedy,

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01:26:45.820 Go to SiriusXM.com slash MK show to subscribe and get three months free. That's SiriusXM.com

01:26:54.580 slash MK show and get three months free. Offer details apply.

01:27:15.820 I'm like, why do we need a fucking gay guy to deliver the baby? What do they know about 1.00

01:27:20.480 this? It's not their jurisdiction at all. I want some gay doctor to open my wife's legs 1.00

01:27:26.480 like, ew, yucky vagina. That's amazing. I have to say, there are a lot of women who do 1.00

01:27:37.540 it, but I've never had a male OBGYN and I never want one. My wife's dad is an OBGYN.

01:27:44.480 Oh, okay. And I'm like, who's going to that? I don't know. Some women are totally fine with 1.00

01:27:49.420 it. Yeah. He's not looking at you as like an individual. Not at all. No, but I also,

01:27:54.480 as like a man, I don't know why you want to see, because like, aren't you kind of seeing

01:27:57.800 women like when it's at its roughest? I, they don't see it that way. Like, I think they're 1.00

01:28:03.480 able to distinguish between the moment they're with that personally versus professionally.

01:28:08.980 Yes, of course. Of course. I'm just saying like, if you're going to the OBGYN, isn't it

01:28:13.000 like, oh, something's burning down here, right? Like, don't you see it if it's bumpy or burning?

01:28:18.980 And now you're just seeing like vaginas that are messed up. 1.00

01:28:22.240 Not necessarily. You know, you got to go for your annual exam. 0.99

01:28:24.380 There's checkups.

01:28:24.940 Yeah. They do the full, the full checkup.

01:28:26.920 Pap smear, right?

01:28:27.760 That, yeah. And you know, they can get on it up in there. 0.80

01:28:30.360 Really?

01:28:30.760 No, yeah.

01:28:31.460 What is a pap smear?

01:28:32.560 It's very unpleasant. They put like this, like clamp thing in you. And then they take

01:28:37.300 like this long Q-tip and they rub the cervix and then put those like cells on a Petri dish

01:28:43.060 and send it, send it out to go see if you have like early cancer.

01:28:47.180 Oh, so it's to see if you have cancer.

01:28:48.800 I mean, among other things, I'm sure. But yeah, that's, I think it's for, yeah.

01:28:52.580 Yeah. And you guys have to do that every year.

01:28:54.660 Yeah. Well, I mean, that's, most of us go once a year.

01:28:57.200 Wow.

01:28:57.540 Now you can potentially go once every three years, depending on like your health and

01:29:01.620 whether you've had this HPV vaccine, that's very controversial. We did a whole show on

01:29:05.920 it, but in any event, yeah, it's not pleasant. It's not pleasant even when you have a female 1.00

01:29:09.440 doctor and they check you everywhere. 0.98

01:29:11.860 I've never seen a cock doctor in my entire life. 0.98

01:29:14.560 What?

01:29:14.860 I don't think we go to that.

01:29:16.340 Well, no, it doesn't your normal doctor though, handle you and make you cough and check for

01:29:20.020 prostate issues.

01:29:21.000 But how funny is that? That's like, just like the vagina has its own doctor. And then I could 1.00

01:29:27.380 just go to like a nerd, like anybody with a foot, like the stethoscope and get my balls 0.99

01:29:32.260 checked. 0.99

01:29:32.600 Well, you're a lucky man. Cause I'm sure if you had a problem down there, they would send

01:29:35.520 you to a urologist and then he'd grab you like a ketchup bottle and you'd be uncomfortable.

01:29:38.560 But yeah, I guess my problem was, I guess, internal, but yeah, that's a, yeah. Wow.

01:29:44.680 I know the whole thing with the doctors is like very intimate. They, they get right up

01:29:48.600 in your space and like, there's no way around it as a woman. You, you know, you have to let 1.00

01:29:51.980 them check your lady parts and then you get to the age where I am and you got to go for 0.92

01:29:55.540 the mammograms and they grab your boob and they squeeze it down like a pancake. It hurts. 0.67

01:30:00.460 Yeah.

01:30:00.800 And it's like, they're squeezing it. And then the woman's running out of the room to x-ray

01:30:03.800 you. And you're like, why am I stuck in here with all the x radiation?

01:30:06.520 Yeah. And they're telling you, you have to do it once a year. I don't know if I believe

01:30:10.120 in it anyway. I mean, you do don't listen to me. I don't go to your, for your mammograms. I'm just

01:30:13.080 saying like now I've had to start going, I think at 40 or 45 and do it for 10 years.

01:30:17.800 Do you have your, do you have a breast cancer in your family? 0.78

01:30:20.580 I mean, my Nana had it when she was 81, which I don't think technically counts, but, but it

01:30:26.060 doesn't matter because most of breast cancers come in families where you didn't have a family 1.00

01:30:30.000 history anyway. Really? Yeah. So you have to worry about it no matter what. It's just one of those

01:30:34.800 things. You hate, you hate the annual physical for this reason, right? You just start, got to

01:30:38.220 start thinking about all the things you don't want to think about. Yeah. It just makes you face your

01:30:41.440 morbid, uh, your mortality. Yeah. You're still young. So I don't, you're, do you get an annual

01:30:45.540 physical? I don't even know. I like eventually my wife just, yeah, she'll just say things to me 1.00

01:30:50.300 like, it's been two years since you've been to the dentist. And I was like, all right, I'll go to

01:30:53.660 the dentist. Like I don't keep it up with any of these things. It's bad. Good dental health is very

01:30:58.400 important. Yeah. Yeah. They say that. And the longer you wait on that one, the worse it is. And you have

01:31:03.840 your teeth, right? These are your real teeth. It's so refreshing to see real teeth. Thank you.

01:31:08.540 Don't you think the veneers are blinding? It's too much. The veneers, like you kind of almost like

01:31:14.440 you need to go down a shade or like stain them slightly. Do something. Yeah. I'm not good at

01:31:20.900 detecting them. I actually just found out that most people are wearing veneers who have that,

01:31:24.580 like those thousand watt smiles. Yeah. I didn't totally know that. Yeah. Now it's become

01:31:30.120 so popular that I think it's actually going to have the reverse effect.

01:31:36.160 Like it's going to be like the Kim Kardashian, but where people start rebelling.

01:31:39.880 And I think we're going to want to see natural teeth. Oh, okay. Here's a, here is a transition

01:31:44.580 from you. Good. Tell me. Speaking of the Kim Kardashian, but her ex Kanye West has a different

01:31:51.460 wife now. Bianca. They may or may not be getting a divorce. There have been rumors and reports that

01:31:56.260 they are, but unconfirmed. But before Kim, I think, and before Bianca, there was Amber Rose.

01:32:03.160 Yes. Amber. Who wound up speaking at Trump's RNC. Yeah. Yeah. And she gave an interview

01:32:09.000 on Club Shay Shay with Shannon Sharp. And she spoke to why Kanye likes apparently having his wives 0.77

01:32:17.120 be naked in public, like a lot. What did, what did she say? Take a look.

01:32:22.300 And he is for sure of dressing her like that. Yeah. He did the same thing to me and Kim.

01:32:28.620 This is who it is. What is it, what is it, what is it about that, that he wants the world

01:32:31.700 to know, look at my woman. We can see. He wants other men to want his woman. That's what he's 0.53

01:32:39.140 into. He likes that. He likes, he likes that men are like drooling over his woman. That's 0.92

01:32:46.120 what he's into. Yeah. He wants all his friends to want his girlfriend. He wants everybody that

01:32:50.880 when you walk in a room that his girlfriend or wife is the most desirable in the room.

01:32:57.320 She the baddest be in the room. That's what he likes. Yeah. 0.99

01:33:00.420 And she said, he did it to me. He did it to Kim and he's doing it to Bianca. What do you

01:33:04.940 make of that? Like, I don't, that seems so odd to me to, to want, to want everybody to

01:33:10.540 admire a woman so much. You, you want her to go out naked in public. 1.00

01:33:13.820 Yeah. It makes me question like if he really likes her or if she's just a tool for his own

01:33:18.660 validation. Right. To get attention. Yeah. Yeah. He's Kanye's a, uh, I'm just like exhausted

01:33:25.220 by it to be honest. Like he's so exhausting, but he's so good at getting attention. Yeah.

01:33:30.140 Like I'll just be so annoyed by him and then he'll like tweet a couple of things and I'll 0.99

01:33:33.260 be like, Holy shit. Did you see all the porn he tweeted? No. Superbowl weekend. Oh my God. 1.00

01:33:37.580 So all my, all my friends were texting me like, don't go on Kanye's X feed, which of course

01:33:42.180 you got to do it. You go immediately. What's he doing? Yeah. And I could not believe my eyes.

01:33:47.980 Why he's actually posing porn porn. I don't think it was him. Yeah. It was a black man 1.00

01:33:52.760 and a white woman in the videos without the faces in most of them. So I not sure. Yeah.

01:33:57.900 Um, but it was very graphic triple X porn all over his X feed. Yeah. And I was like, Oh my 0.83

01:34:05.220 God. Right. So then I logged off of that. And it wasn't until a couple hours later that I

01:34:09.240 remembered to mention it to Doug. I'm like, Oh my God. So he went back. It was still up. Yeah.

01:34:13.660 Like it hadn't been taken down. That's not surprised me because like there's a moment

01:34:17.600 like the super bowl where he knows that everybody's attention is going to be on somebody

01:34:22.400 else. So he's like, I'm going to make this about me. That's interesting. Yeah. I think

01:34:26.740 it's a constant, like thirst and need for attention. I don't even know if he's aware of

01:34:30.460 that. Do you think the Hitler comments are coming from the same place? Yeah. It's the 0.96

01:34:33.560 same thing as MAGA. Like when MAGA was that radioactive, he was like, I'm going to wear

01:34:38.200 the MAGA hat. That's interesting. He takes the most disliked radioactive fucked up thing.

01:34:44.100 And he's like, I'm so cool that I can make this cool. And he's done that like throughout

01:34:50.320 his life with fashion. And, you know, uh, now he does it with like talking points and that

01:34:55.660 kind of stuff. But it's, I think it's just a reflection of like him thinking I'm so the

01:34:59.920 man I could make Hitler, the man, or it's coming from this place of you're not going to tell 0.87

01:35:07.580 me what I can or can't like. Yeah. I have total autonomy and freedom in my life. That

01:35:11.780 I respect and like. Yeah. That I like. It's just, there's other ways to prove you're free.

01:35:16.560 Right. Well, there are a lot of people like that in the public, you know, conversation.

01:35:21.300 Well, I would also go like, are you really free if you need to do that? Right. Because

01:35:26.040 now you're being controlled the opposite way. Well, if you always have to do the most subversive

01:35:30.760 thing, the most controversial thing. People that are truly free don't need that. Yeah.

01:35:35.480 They feel the freedom. So they don't need to execute it every second. People who don't feel

01:35:39.860 free need to constantly prove that they're free. It's back to the old, you know, Michael Jordan

01:35:44.840 didn't tell you what a great basketball player he was. He was like, he knew he was. I was actually

01:35:49.740 with somebody from another sport, which I won't, I won't reveal who it was because it would make it

01:35:53.260 obvious, but they were like, I'm the goat. Everyone knows I'm the goat. And I remember thinking,

01:35:57.240 I don't think the goat ever calls himself the goat. No, it's not a thing. No. So you've got this

01:36:02.700 very successful podcast now, in addition to your comedy routines, do you like, what do you do on

01:36:07.800 that show? Is there, are there any limits? Is there anything you do to make it a success? Somebody

01:36:11.960 was just asking me this about my show. And I was like, that's not how I approach it. I just kind

01:36:15.420 of do what I, I just talk about what I want to talk about. Yeah. Yeah. I talk about what I want

01:36:19.140 to talk about. And then like, I try very hard to not let the algorithm dictate what we talk about.

01:36:25.240 Yep. And I feel like a lot of times now there's a lot of creators that don't even realize that

01:36:29.660 that algorithm is really dictating to them what they should create. They'll post a video or cover

01:36:34.380 a topic and it will go crazy. And then they go, Oh, I should cover that more. And then you see people

01:36:39.060 like lose their own personal creativity and they just become this slave to the algorithm. Yes.

01:36:44.860 The problem is that when you're going to do the stories you want to do, you have to accept that

01:36:49.360 some days the stories are going to go crazy and some days they're not going to go crazy and your core

01:36:54.940 fans will really appreciate it, but it's not going to be this pure numbers game.

01:37:00.060 And that's been the thing that like, you know, we've, we've, we accept because authenticity is

01:37:06.740 like the most important thing to me, but it is one of those things that you got to go, okay, well,

01:37:10.280 okay, this isn't going to be as big a story. We get that. How can we be so interesting or so funny

01:37:14.540 about it that maybe more people will find interest in this thing that we're really interested in? 0.61

01:37:18.680 I really think that that is fool's gold, right? Just to go for the viral clip,

01:37:22.320 because it's, it's like, you might get a lot of subscribers or follows or whatever,

01:37:26.640 or even just views or likes of that one clip, but they're not real.

01:37:30.760 I'm so glad you keep going. This is great.

01:37:32.620 They're not going to say like, that's why you see people who have a huge number of subscribers

01:37:36.180 on, on YouTube, but very little engagement because their fans are not actually like they

01:37:41.620 just click to watch that one clip, but then they're never coming back. Whereas if you just work

01:37:45.620 on doing good programming every day, they're real. The relationship between you and the people

01:37:49.320 watching is real. They, they trust you and honor you and vice versa.

01:37:52.680 Trust you. They're here. And if you really care about something, there are people watching right

01:37:57.340 now that might not care about it at all. And the fact that you do, they'll give it that little

01:38:01.100 second. They'll give it that minute and they'll be like, okay, maybe I should care about this thing.

01:38:04.540 Right.

01:38:05.060 I, I, yeah, I see this. I see this all the time. It's like, um, and this is kind of like where you

01:38:09.960 can see the grift a little bit where there, there are people that sometimes are popular because

01:38:16.460 there's great social utility, right? Like there's a version where like this special has social

01:38:21.260 utility and I might get popular with some people because they're life on Netflix. Check it out

01:38:25.080 with Andrew Schultz.

01:38:25.560 I wasn't even trying to plug, but like, maybe they're going through like IVF or fertility issues

01:38:29.000 and they feel like really seen or represented. But so maybe for like a moment, I'm very important

01:38:33.800 to them. But then when that becomes more normalized, less stigmatized, they realize they don't really

01:38:38.120 agree with me on other issues. So they're like, okay, I don't need you anymore. It's kind of like

01:38:42.260 not to harp on Shapiro, like kind of what he's gone through. It's like, he had these great

01:38:45.960 arguments for conservatives at a time where it was like really radioactive to be conservative.

01:38:50.100 Right. It's like, there are these people that they like needed to defend their positions,

01:38:53.640 but you know, they, they didn't have these, they didn't have like the, these like beautiful

01:38:58.560 Harvard, like this, like no fat at all. Awesome dart arguments, which he's like really brilliant

01:39:05.860 at making totally. And he supplied them and they were like, Oh, this is the guy. Now it's

01:39:10.480 not stigmatized at all to be a conservative. The majority of the country is conservative.

01:39:14.440 So now they're like, all right, well, we don't really agree with you on Israel, Palestine.

01:39:17.640 So we don't really need you anymore. You don't have social utility. He didn't build that bond

01:39:21.720 with the audience. I mean, his show is still huge and very, very successful.

01:39:24.920 Yeah. I'm not, again, again, I'm saying like, uh, I'm not saying that he's not, but clearly

01:39:29.420 there's been some issues over there in terms of like a fracturing of the audience and the

01:39:33.380 fracture of the audience to me shows that they're not actual fans of him, but that there was

01:39:38.460 social utility that he provided. And then a quarter of them or 10%, 20%, whatever is

01:39:44.080 now going, well, now I'll no longer need that social utility, but it's not just him. I'm

01:39:47.820 saying it could be, it can happen to anybody. And, and what you hope is you have this core,

01:39:53.060 which he has his core. You have your core. I hope I have my core that that will continue

01:39:56.980 to expand when you create authentic shit that matters to you. 0.99

01:39:59.540 Yes. Yeah. Well, here's to doing that a lot more of that. And if you want to see Andrew 0.99

01:40:04.160 do that seriously, trust me, check out life on Netflix for many reasons. We want to support

01:40:10.620 him. You will laugh your ass off. And there is no way we can let Megan Markle be number 1.00

01:40:15.060 one. It has to be Andrew Schultz. So you get on there and you download it over and over.

01:40:19.520 My friends, please watch it. We're coming for Kate Hudson. Okay. Great to see you. Great to

01:40:23.940 see you. Thank you for having me. Okay. Before we go, I have something important

01:40:28.540 to tell you. I have been secretly working on a series for three years and I'm finally

01:40:37.660 going to bring it to you next week. Um, seriously, this has been a labor of love. It's taking me,

01:40:43.180 I don't know how many hours of my time, but I've done it because it's a very compelling story

01:40:49.400 and it's an important one. And I'm really, really hoping that we can get to the bottom

01:40:54.900 of it together. Um, it's a new series that I'm doing. Uh, hopefully not every, so every

01:40:59.400 series is a episode is going to take three years because it's a short life. Um, but it's

01:41:05.960 called Megan Kelly investigates. That's what I'm calling the series. And the first topic that

01:41:10.400 we tackled is one that is near and dear to my heart for a number of reasons. And it's the

01:41:13.940 story of baby Lisa Irwin and what happened to this 10 month old baby. We go deep inside

01:41:23.780 this case and the unsolved mystery. You have never seen the facts that we have uncovered

01:41:30.060 about this baby's disappearance. We have brand new stuff. We have explosive interviews. Every

01:41:37.540 single character involved in this story did sit with us, did speak to me. And, um, I, well,

01:41:46.240 I'm just going to leave it at that, but I'm gonna show you the tease now. And the whole series

01:41:49.920 is going to air on this channel next week. Watch a baby girl vanishes in the middle of the night.

01:41:58.280 I just want her baby. Please break your hole. It's a case that's never been solved. Nobody 0.99

01:42:04.540 is looking for her because they think her mother killed her and she got away with it. I'm sorry.

01:42:10.880 12 years later, we're still trying to solve it. All right, let's get moving. Megan Kelly

01:42:15.440 investigates. We go deep into the clues. Her car was set on fire. Seeing a man with a baby is huge.

01:42:22.980 New reporting. I was terrified. Was that chilling, Cindy, when he admitted that? Yes. I couldn't

01:42:27.760 believe it. That was totally not true. I will always love him. Expert analysis. She gave us truth

01:42:33.000 and the lie. And that's our best lead. Now we have to rethink everything. And the guy everyone wants

01:42:38.480 to know more about. We found him. The last thing he's going to want to see is you, Megan. Hi,

01:42:43.860 I'm Megan Kelly. Baby Lisa. It's every parent's worst nightmare. Get her alive. We need to find out what

01:42:49.900 happens. Oh, okay. So it is a five-part series. It begins this Monday. Please mark it. I assume

01:43:03.020 you're already subscribing to our show on pod and on YouTube, but if not, please do. It will live,

01:43:08.560 it will air live on SiriusXM. It will be on youtube.com slash Megan Kelly and on all podcast

01:43:14.040 platforms. Thank you all so much. Thanks for listening to The Megan Kelly Show. No BS, no agenda, and no fear.

The Megyn Kelly Show - March 06, 2025

Andrew Schulz on Why Trump Dominates Culture and Politics, Becoming a Dad, and Dating Red Flags ｜ Ep. 1020

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