The Megyn Kelly Show - Chris Distefano on COVID Hysteria, Raising Tough Kids, and The Plague of Narcissism ｜ Ep. 86

00:00:00.000 When I found out my friend got a great deal

00:00:02.160 on a wool coat from Winners,

00:00:03.760 I started wondering,

00:00:05.440 is every fabulous item I see from Winners?

00:00:08.560 Like that woman over there with the designer jeans. 1.00

00:00:11.260 Are those from Winners?

00:00:12.780 Ooh, or those beautiful gold earrings?

00:00:15.260 Did she pay full price?

00:00:16.600 Or that leather tote?

00:00:17.620 Or that cashmere sweater?

00:00:18.840 Or those knee-high boots?

00:00:20.280 That dress?

00:00:21.060 That jacket?

00:00:21.740 Those shoes?

00:00:22.760 Is anyone paying full price for anything?

00:00:25.720 Stop wondering.

00:00:26.980 Start winning.

00:00:27.920 Winners.

00:00:28.500 Find fabulous for less.

00:00:30.620 Welcome to The Megyn Kelly Show.

00:00:32.520 Your home for open, honest, and provocative conversations.

00:00:41.960 Hey everyone, I'm Megyn Kelly.

00:00:43.700 Welcome to The Megyn Kelly Show.

00:00:45.320 Today on the program, we have a treat for you.

00:00:48.100 Chris DiStefano is here.

00:00:50.260 He is a stand-up comedian and philosopher on life.

00:00:53.380 And we just taped this interview and I am in stitches.

00:00:57.700 This guy's right up my alley.

00:00:59.300 I loved him and I think you will too.

00:01:01.700 And we talk about the news and we talk about life and he will have you smiling for the next

00:01:05.500 hour and 20 minutes or so.

00:01:07.320 He has an interesting background.

00:01:08.640 He's, well, he's 36 years old.

00:01:10.480 He grew up in Queens.

00:01:11.960 The guy has a doctorate in physical therapy and was practicing pediatric physical therapy

00:01:17.520 all the way up until 2013.

00:01:18.920 And when he decided to try his hand to stand-up comedy and what do you know, it worked out.

00:01:25.300 He's been everywhere now.

00:01:26.460 I mean, he was on Letterman.

00:01:27.600 He's been on all the late night shows.

00:01:29.180 He's been part of Comedy Central.

00:01:31.620 He's now got two very successful podcasts.

00:01:34.780 One's called Chrissy Chaos and one's called Hey Babe.

00:01:38.200 And he's, uh, he's been all over the place and hopefully coming soon to the Comedy Cellar

00:01:42.140 here in New York where I love to go and where they only allow the very best of the best.

00:01:46.480 So, you know, he's one of them.

00:01:48.200 We'll get to him in one second, but I think you're going to love his thoughts on, uh, how

00:01:52.660 to raise tougher kids, his criminal dad, as he refers to him and granddad had some lessons

00:01:59.140 for Chrissy and, um, what kind of lessons you can learn when you're married to a Puerto 0.91

00:02:03.880 Rican wife like Jasmine DiStefano, who is his wife now.

00:02:08.640 He's brilliant.

00:02:09.820 That's in one minute, but first this.

00:02:18.140 Chris DiStefano.

00:02:20.020 How are you?

00:02:21.460 Hey, Megan.

00:02:22.160 How are you?

00:02:22.780 First of all, I just want to say I'm, I'm a big fan.

00:02:25.960 Oh, thank you very much.

00:02:27.460 Likewise.

00:02:28.080 I'm, I'm honored.

00:02:29.280 You know, we share our Italian roots on my mom's side.

00:02:32.160 I'm always talking about my Irish side because we have a lot in common, the Irish and the

00:02:35.560 Italians, as you know, but my, I got a grandfather named Angelo Di Maio.

00:02:40.320 Wow.

00:02:41.380 It sounds like human marinara sauce.

00:02:44.580 Yeah.

00:02:45.100 I, um, I did, you know, I'm Italian, you know, the last name DiStefano, but then I did the

00:02:49.960 ancestry.com and I found that I'm mostly German.

00:02:52.200 So I'm having an identity crisis.

00:02:54.180 Oh, fascinating.

00:02:55.600 On whose side?

00:02:56.780 My mother's side was like almost nearly like 100% German.

00:03:02.420 And my dad's side was, I thought, you know, he, his father died when he was like 10.

00:03:08.180 And I'm like, unless somebody's lying to me about who my real father is.

00:03:13.660 I was like, dad, like your dad was lying to you.

00:03:15.720 And he was like, well, listen, you know, cause my dad was like a criminal on and off his whole

00:03:19.440 life.

00:03:19.720 So my dad was like, he was like, look, he was like, look, even if, even if he was German,

00:03:24.800 I mean, he's not a rat, he's not going to rat on himself.

00:03:29.500 What does that even mean?

00:03:30.740 It's like, he wasn't around during that time when it was bad to be German. 0.92

00:03:35.240 Was it?

00:03:35.660 He wasn't that old.

00:03:37.120 I don't, I mean, well, no, I mean, my dad, my dad was born in 1948.

00:03:42.660 So I mean, no, his dad.

00:03:44.880 Yeah, that's it.

00:03:45.780 That's, oh my God.

00:03:46.960 We're three minutes into this podcast and I'm finding out that I've descended from Nazis.

00:03:51.020 Thanks, Megan.

00:03:51.920 Now it's just further spinning.

00:03:54.560 What's going on?

00:03:56.940 You know what, though?

00:03:57.740 The Germans and the Italians have one thing in common, which is they're tough. 1.00

00:04:01.060 They're tough.

00:04:01.560 Don't mess with them.

00:04:03.100 Tough.

00:04:03.740 Yeah.

00:04:03.980 No, true.

00:04:05.240 Yeah.

00:04:06.060 I've heard you talk about how, like, if in your family, like, if you came home looking

00:04:12.140 as like, I don't know, one of these Brooklyn guys looks and acting like they act, you'd

00:04:17.140 get punched in the face.

00:04:18.780 Oh, yeah.

00:04:19.800 No, for, for me, like, that's what I think is actually a saving grace for me so far.

00:04:26.140 Like navigating through this comedy world is I've been punched in the face so many times

00:04:31.100 and I don't think like the youth gets hit enough anymore.

00:04:34.020 I'm, I'm an advocate for bringing back hitting your kids because I just, I mean, these kids

00:04:39.300 now, they just pop off on TikTok and Twitter and what's the worst, they say whatever they

00:04:43.760 want.

00:04:44.040 And then what's the worst that happens to them?

00:04:45.380 They get blocked or they get an email on all caps locked.

00:04:48.220 It's like, I used to, I used to get my teeth knocked out.

00:04:50.720 It's like, you will see how much you stand by what you believe in and what you're saying

00:04:56.540 when you're swallowing your molars.

00:04:58.020 I mean, if you've ever had to look through your shit for your teeth, we'll see if you

00:05:01.500 really, really, really are a tough guy and standing up for what you say.

00:05:05.720 Cause I think a lot of this stuff happens on social media, you know, people can just

00:05:10.400 say whatever they want and they may not even believe that in, in, in, in the physical realm,

00:05:15.380 they may believe something different, but they think it's cool to, you know, tweet, whatever,

00:05:20.440 you know, hashtag they want to tweet.

00:05:22.080 And there's no real repercussions when, you know, they would never say what they're saying

00:05:26.420 on online to you, to your face.

00:05:28.900 They would never say it to your face.

00:05:30.080 And that's, that's the difference is like, I had, if I had something to say to someone, my father

00:05:35.020 and family would make me say it to their face.

00:05:37.120 And then usually when you have to say something to somebody's face, you really have to think

00:05:40.620 about, do I really want to say that?

00:05:42.600 And usually the answer is no, I don't really want to say that.

00:05:45.420 Oh yeah.

00:05:45.880 No, they're real tough behind their thumbs.

00:05:48.220 These people are these little Twitter warriors.

00:05:50.380 I'll tell you, even, you know, I have two boys and a girl and I definitely, I don't, I

00:05:54.480 don't want them to get punched in the face, but I certainly don't want them to take a punch

00:05:58.220 and not fight back.

00:05:58.960 So in our family, it's like, I tell my kids, somebody punches you, you punch them right back.

00:06:03.120 I don't care.

00:06:03.800 I don't care what anybody tells you.

00:06:04.840 You fight.

00:06:05.420 Like if you get attacked, you, you attack right back.

00:06:07.660 And by the way, even my little guy, my seven-year-old will be, you know, tearing up like Yates

00:06:12.120 hit me.

00:06:12.760 Yates is my 11-year-old.

00:06:14.000 And I'll say, I'll say Yates, you hit Thatcher.

00:06:16.260 He'll go, he hit me first.

00:06:17.220 I'm like, what'd you expect Thatcher?

00:06:19.060 He's he, you punched him first.

00:06:20.280 He's going to punch you back.

00:06:21.020 That's how life works.

00:06:21.880 Bye.

00:06:22.500 And like, they sit there looking at me like, what kind of a weird house is this?

00:06:25.940 Like, well, it's a, it's a just house.

00:06:27.980 That's how it is.

00:06:28.700 It's a just house.

00:06:29.560 It's a just and fair house.

00:06:31.000 No, I, I, and I love that.

00:06:32.380 But I think same thing, like, yeah, I don't necessarily want my kids to go out there and

00:06:36.100 get beat, but we're, and we don't hit the kids, but you know, they're young.

00:06:39.420 I get a 10-year-old and a five-year-old, but here's the thing is my, my wife is Puerto 0.97

00:06:43.860 Rican. 0.74

00:06:44.260 So we got my, I have a, I have a very mult, you know, culturally diverse family.

00:06:47.820 So, you know, the Puerto Ricans, you know, my girl, she's a tough Puerto Rican girl from 0.94

00:06:51.840 Brooklyn.

00:06:52.320 So the thing is like, sometimes I, you know, when I like train and do like some boxing, I like

00:06:56.920 to box a little bit.

00:06:57.600 People like, what are you training for?

00:06:58.700 I'm like, I'm training for my wife just because she's a lefty. 1.00

00:07:02.040 And if she, if I piss her off, I mean, she throws a hook like Mike Tyson.

00:07:06.960 And that's just, and it's just good to keep you.

00:07:09.780 It's just good to be kept in line by a woman. 1.00

00:07:12.460 I just like, I don't, I never, ever, ever, you know, uh, uh, like get out of line with

00:07:18.300 her.

00:07:18.480 And I feel like my daughter is the same.

00:07:20.500 My daughter's a lefty too.

00:07:22.000 So I like that my daughter can come at you from a different angle.

00:07:24.460 And I kind of like that, you know, cause, cause when we were naming my child, it was

00:07:27.980 like, Oh, you know, her name's Delilah DeStefano. 0.87

00:07:30.480 And they're like, Oh, what about all that?

00:07:31.740 They're going to make fun of her DD, double D. 1.00

00:07:33.800 I'm like, here's the thing about my kid is if you want to make fun of a comedian's child,

00:07:39.080 that's fine.

00:07:39.840 But you have to understand you make fun of my child.

00:07:42.320 I'm going to go call Dave Attell.

00:07:44.000 I'm going to go call, you know, Colin Quinn and Jeff Ross and, and, and, and Amy Schumer,

00:07:49.740 and we're going to write roast jokes and we're going to roast the shit out of your little 1.00

00:07:53.000 five-year-old ass. 0.95

00:07:53.880 Okay.

00:07:54.340 If you make fun of my kid.

00:07:55.820 So that, so I, I tell my daughter, anybody makes fun of you, you come tell dad right away.

00:08:01.340 We're going to have a writing session.

00:08:02.740 We're going to come back with fire for these kids.

00:08:07.600 It's brilliant.

00:08:08.480 I have to tell you that back in the day, years and years ago, I was in my twenties.

00:08:11.460 My sister's kid was getting bullied at school by this one jerk. 0.97

00:08:14.860 And this kid would not let up on my sister's kid who was very sweet and didn't deserve it

00:08:20.100 and just wouldn't stop.

00:08:21.620 And one night I was out drinking with a friend of mine and she's like, what's his name?

00:08:24.840 And I told her, she goes, let's prank him.

00:08:26.600 I'm like, really?

00:08:28.000 She's like, so we did.

00:08:29.340 It was cathartic.

00:08:30.580 Sorry, not sorry.

00:08:31.740 Yeah, same.

00:08:32.460 It is cathartic.

00:08:33.360 Even like, you know, it's kind of, I understand like, you know, cause I think for the most part

00:08:37.220 the world is, is getting better.

00:08:38.940 I think like, you know, uh, people that say like, you know, the country is so bad right

00:08:44.260 now.

00:08:44.540 It's all bullshit.

00:08:45.440 It's all like distractions.

00:08:46.600 It's like, there's no way that 2021 America is worse than 1960 America or 1880 America.

00:08:53.820 So it's like, it's absurd.

00:08:55.380 It's the best time to be alive.

00:08:56.660 And as American, I believe it's right now, despite the issues.

00:09:00.120 It's like, there'll always be issues.

00:09:01.780 It's like the people that want this utopian society.

00:09:04.020 I'm like, you don't, you've, again, you've never been punched in the face.

00:09:06.680 Like this is, you don't want reality.

00:09:09.000 You want your distorted fictional reality.

00:09:11.740 That's it's bullshit.

00:09:13.080 Even like with kids, like I just want to bring back, you know, like, like you said, pranking

00:09:17.480 or like Halloween.

00:09:18.400 Like I remember on Halloween, like it was kind of fun to get hit with an egg or a bag of batteries.

00:09:22.680 Like it kept you on your toes.

00:09:24.200 Now I even talked to, yeah.

00:09:26.660 I mean, I grew up in Brooklyn, you know?

00:09:27.960 So it's just like, you know, we used to, this is what we used to do, Megan.

00:09:30.320 We used to dip eggs and again, I'm not, and you know, I'm not saying this is right, but

00:09:34.280 I'm just saying this is the kind of war zone I grew up in is that my friends thinking it

00:09:38.700 was funny, used to dip eggs in Nair and throw them at people.

00:09:42.000 And we would get hit with eggs filled with Nair. 0.80

00:09:44.380 I got hit with an egg in sixth grade that had Nair on it.

00:09:47.420 I had a bald spot on the back of my head for a year.

00:09:50.980 I look like a balding 50 year old guy who just got divorced, but I'm meanwhile, I'm in

00:09:55.020 sixth grade and sister Almary is like, you know, what is wrong with your head?

00:09:57.880 I'm like, I got hit with an egg with Nair.

00:09:59.220 She was like, well, you should have been walking down Myrtle Avenue on Halloween.

00:10:02.420 That's what do you want me to tell you?

00:10:03.660 Even the, you know, even the nuns knew.

00:10:05.420 And now, you know, my 10 year old, you know, stepson for Halloween, I was like, you want

00:10:10.040 to go throw eggs?

00:10:10.940 And then I, you know, I opened up the refrigerator.

00:10:12.580 He's like, these eggs are cage free.

00:10:14.020 We can't waste them.

00:10:14.940 I'm like, go to your room.

00:10:15.920 Just go to your room.

00:10:17.320 You know, I'm trying to get arrested with you.

00:10:20.360 It's so true. 0.84

00:10:23.240 Just toughening up our kids is half the battle, but you do look around.

00:10:25.860 And it does feel like it's not the worst time ever to live in America for sure.

00:10:29.200 But man, have we ever been weaker?

00:10:31.100 I just feel like we're so, we are so weak and we kowtow to people, anybody who complains

00:10:36.840 about anything, they get their way.

00:10:39.080 Like it used to be like toughen up.

00:10:40.420 Now it's like, oh, how can I make your life better?

00:10:42.060 And the reason I'm raising it is because just a story on our crazy PC culture, California

00:10:48.100 prisons.

00:10:49.280 Now, Governor Newsom out there, he just signed a law saying, if you are a male in a male

00:10:56.360 prison or a female in a female prison and you self-identify as someone of the opposite 0.53

00:11:01.380 sex.

00:11:01.980 Now, that's all.

00:11:02.600 I just have to say, I'm actually no longer a male.

00:11:04.660 I'm a female.

00:11:05.080 You, you have the right to move prisons.

00:11:09.320 And there so far have been, they just enacted this thing.

00:11:13.540 261 prisoners have said, I'm in the opposite body.

00:11:17.020 You know, I'm, I'm a male, secretly female or vice versa.

00:11:20.060 And of those 255 are guys who want to move to women's prisons.

00:11:25.360 And they are.

00:11:26.760 And then the article's like, some female prisoners are afraid. 0.55

00:11:30.900 Some making the claims may be doing so under false pretenses.

00:11:34.640 You think?

00:11:35.760 Not one has been rejected.

00:11:37.140 Not one.

00:11:38.080 I mean, could you imagine you're doing 10 years in prison, 50, like a major prison sentence

00:11:42.380 and they tell all you have to do to go to the women's jail to say, identify as a woman. 1.00

00:11:45.840 I mean, I would tuck it back like Buffalo Bill immediately.

00:11:48.780 I'd be in my cell like it likes to put the lotion on.

00:11:52.000 Look at me.

00:11:52.480 This is the real me.

00:11:53.220 I mean, I come out full mangina because of course, I mean, it's, listen, here's the

00:11:59.360 thing too.

00:11:59.840 Like I, I had, I have a podcast called Chrissy Kass and my wife's uncle, he's transgendered.

00:12:05.660 He was in prison for 25 years.

00:12:08.120 His name is TT Jerry.

00:12:09.220 And we just, we just had him on the podcast and it was, it was great.

00:12:12.420 And he being a transgender person in prison, he had a lot of interesting things to say when

00:12:17.560 he came out.

00:12:18.040 Cause he's like 25 years.

00:12:19.140 He was like, you know, he's like, I come out.

00:12:21.020 He's like, and when I went into prison, you know, he was like, it was very rare to see

00:12:24.820 a transgender person.

00:12:25.600 He was like, even in, in prison in the, in the eighties and early nineties, he was like,

00:12:29.620 I was one of maybe five transgender people in the entire prison.

00:12:32.980 He's like, as the years go on, more and more transgender people start to come in.

00:12:36.840 He's like, and then I come out of prison, everybody's transgendered.

00:12:39.540 He was like, which he's like, look, I don't know.

00:12:42.480 Like people do what they want to do and act how they want to act.

00:12:46.020 That's fine.

00:12:46.660 He was like, but he was like, I feel like it's a rare thing to be transgender, not like 1.00

00:12:51.360 a thing that like so many people have.

00:12:53.620 And he was like, I just don't understand like the kids, like he had a, what he said, he was

00:12:57.520 like, he was like, I almost feel like, like the younger people, like they're going like,

00:13:01.060 like when they used to go like goth and like, you know, be like, fuck you, dad, I'm going

00:13:05.200 to go goth.

00:13:05.800 Like they're just rebelling against their parents.

00:13:07.300 But now they're rebelling against their parents by cutting off their genitalia. 1.00

00:13:10.420 So he's like, you know, my kind of thing is like, look, here's my rule.

00:13:14.780 Like, I think if you're, if you want to go transgender, whatever people want to do, I

00:13:20.120 mean, celebrate who you are.

00:13:21.320 I'm all about that.

00:13:22.200 Like, I'm all about like living with everyone and living amongst each other.

00:13:25.260 But it's like, if you, if you are allowing your child to go transgender under 18, when

00:13:31.000 they're over 18, they make decisions, whatever they'd like to do.

00:13:33.660 But if they, if you're going to let your kid go transgender when they're younger than 1.00

00:13:36.840 18, then you have to go transgender too, as the parent, that's, that should be the rule. 0.90

00:13:40.980 You, if you're allowing that to you, then you got to do it too.

00:13:43.980 You got to do, I would never let my, I'm not going to even let my kid take medicines

00:13:46.800 that I wouldn't taste first.

00:13:48.320 You think I'm going to let her, you know, transform her body? 1.00

00:13:50.800 No, no, no, no.

00:13:51.280 If she wants to do it at 15, fine, but make no mistake, I'm going to go get that surgery 0.99

00:13:55.640 first and be like, here's how it is.

00:13:57.080 Let's try this on.

00:13:57.880 Let's try that on.

00:13:58.940 It feels good to be trans kind of thing.

00:14:00.680 Well, it's, it's, it's very scary because, you know, as Abigail Schreier's been pointing

00:14:04.220 out in her book, Irreversible Damage, which everyone should read.

00:14:07.080 Anybody should read that kid or no kid.

00:14:10.040 I feel like I have that from the first three minutes of this podcast, Megan, Irreversible Damage for

00:14:13.760 you telling me I'm a Nazi.

00:14:15.140 I get that a lot from many of my guests.

00:14:19.760 So if you're a girl who says, I actually identify more as a boy and you decide to go on puberty 0.90

00:14:27.380 blockers.

00:14:28.000 So you don't sort of develop breasts and so on.

00:14:29.940 And then you go directly from puberty blockers to testosterone, like actual cross gender 0.88

00:14:35.220 hormones.

00:14:35.760 You're infertile. 0.97

00:14:37.180 You're, you're any chance of having a child is over for you.

00:14:40.920 I feel like it's so irresponsible of these parents and these, but the therapists, the

00:14:45.340 psychiatrists, all the medical community, their only standard is to affirm.

00:14:48.760 And by the way, now the lawsuits are starting against them as these kids, 90 percent of

00:14:52.840 whom would have grown out of it if you just left them alone, are getting into their 20s

00:14:57.020 and realizing I was abused by these people who forced me into what I thought was a phase

00:15:01.560 becoming my lifelong decision.

00:15:03.460 But yeah, of course, parents, parents are now, you know, certain parents are like more

00:15:08.200 afraid of being reprimanded by society and being, you know, having society mad at them

00:15:13.460 than their own children.

00:15:14.200 It's like, listen, I don't care.

00:15:16.260 It'd be like, whatever, when you're in this house, I understand people want to do what

00:15:19.700 they want to do and kids, but it's like, you know, I wanted to do things before I was

00:15:23.940 like, my mother wouldn't let me get a driver's license before I was 18, even though I could

00:15:27.880 get it at six, she just wouldn't let me do it.

00:15:29.640 And I was like mad at her or whatever.

00:15:31.580 And then one of my friends died in a car accident when we were 17.

00:15:34.780 And she was like, you see, like, this is your guys aren't ready yet.

00:15:37.340 I don't care what the state says.

00:15:38.740 You're not ready.

00:15:39.500 So I didn't really get my license till I was 19.

00:15:41.980 And I kind of looking back, I'm like, wow, she I'm not, you know, she like took me out

00:15:46.640 of a dangerous situation.

00:15:47.680 But now parents are just bowing down to the children.

00:15:51.060 It's it's it this thing of like, kind of like, you know, putting pressure on everybody

00:15:57.780 to like, do what you know, the woke crowd wants you to do.

00:16:01.500 Because here's the thing, I think like with people being woke, I think it initially started

00:16:05.340 as a good thing.

00:16:06.040 I think like, you know, recognizing our, you know, differences or recognizing like, hey,

00:16:10.040 certain groups are not being treated fairly, all that stuff was positive.

00:16:12.860 But like anything else, there's an overcorrection now.

00:16:15.880 And now the same people who are saying like, be so woke, they're silencing everybody.

00:16:21.360 So now it's it's what like, it's the extreme now, like the extremely liberal people are

00:16:26.680 actually acting more conservative, because they are saying, hey, if you don't agree with

00:16:30.880 everything I say right now, fuck you, you're out. 0.99

00:16:33.520 And so it went like, I'm I'm somebody I'm Chrissy centrist, I'm in the center.

00:16:38.160 And I and I just lean a little left.

00:16:40.800 That's that's how I describe myself center, but I just lean a little left.

00:16:44.440 But but to a like a real like liberal person, I'm like fully on the right fascist nut job.

00:16:51.900 So now that like center is fully conservative, right?

00:16:56.320 So and I feel like these things are happening, like right under our noses.

00:17:01.740 I feel two things that have happened like right under our noses where like, wow, like this

00:17:05.180 is really scary is one, the American flag.

00:17:08.960 I mean, the symbolism of the American flag in 2001, after 9-11, especially me in New

00:17:14.300 York City, if you did not have an American flag outside your house or on your car or

00:17:18.880 tattooed on your body, you might as well have just been in Al Qaeda because people like you 1.00

00:17:23.480 need to support America.

00:17:25.300 Now in 2021, if you have an American flag on your car outside your house or tattooed on

00:17:29.900 your body, they think you're a racist piece of shit because they associate it with, I'm

00:17:34.740 sure, Donald Trump and Republicans.

00:17:36.860 And so and these this symbolism changed so quickly.

00:17:39.460 And I'm like, how did this happen?

00:17:40.820 I grew up in New York City around every culture, diversity.

00:17:44.080 I mean, it's impossible to be racist in New York.

00:17:45.820 You're going to get on the train and see the group you hate immediately.

00:17:48.700 So you better just love everybody and make fun of everybody.

00:17:51.320 And to be honest with you, my friend group was we had somebody from every background.

00:17:56.580 My friend group was like a fucking community college.

00:17:58.800 You had people, I mean, you know, black, Latino, Asian.

00:18:02.040 We would all make cultural jokes about each other.

00:18:04.160 That's the way we could trust each other where I was like, oh, we're all cool.

00:18:07.600 But now there's this movement to silence those jokes and silence those people.

00:18:13.860 And the people who want us, the people who talk about equality the most and want equalness

00:18:21.200 for everyone are the people that silence the most people.

00:18:24.580 So you really don't want equality.

00:18:26.440 You want whatever your agenda you're trying to push forward.

00:18:29.400 That's what you want.

00:18:30.060 You want everyone to bow to that by silencing everybody else.

00:18:32.960 So stop saying you want equality.

00:18:34.340 You want us to think and act exactly like you.

00:18:36.380 And, you know, that we always find out like that, that the loudest voices who are trying

00:18:41.540 to cancel somebody have something in their past that they're ashamed of or that's going

00:18:45.940 to come out because now people are getting smart in these culture wars.

00:18:49.720 And if you're pushing to cancel somebody, they're going to look into your background.

00:18:52.940 You're going to get it.

00:18:53.980 And to be perfectly honest, I'm in favor of that.

00:18:56.700 And I'm also in favor of doing it to these corporate executives.

00:18:59.440 That's fine.

00:19:00.280 Go ahead.

00:19:00.660 We'll all live by the rules that you set.

00:19:02.100 Like ABC, they want to cancel Chris Harrison or The Bachelor.

00:19:04.440 Okay, fine.

00:19:05.460 Let's take a look at the top three executives at ABC who made that decision.

00:19:08.620 And let's let's take a deep dive into their history that we have to get some corporate

00:19:12.560 skin in the game so that these guys don't feel so empowered just to ruin lives willy nilly.

00:19:18.220 Right.

00:19:18.820 I agree with you 100 percent.

00:19:20.400 Every single time I'm I've been feeling this for years now.

00:19:24.720 Every single time somebody tweets something out, I'm always like, you know, trying to cancel

00:19:29.720 someone, I'm like, oh, motherfucker, you better be squeaky clean, because if you can go ahead,

00:19:34.060 you can cancel someone.

00:19:34.880 But that light is going to turn around and shine on you, because you know what?

00:19:39.100 I think it is something I was thinking about is like wokeness.

00:19:42.680 Again, you know, the overcorrect of wokeness, you know, again, the people who are being extreme

00:19:47.740 with the wokeness, not the initial stuff of, hey, you know, we need to understand that

00:19:52.060 the reason why certain groups are our country is because of the history of them being, you know,

00:19:56.080 systemically, you know, held down.

00:19:58.200 I get all that and I get I get how there's issues with that.

00:20:01.520 But then when the extreme wokeness comes out, those people are bullies. 0.89

00:20:06.740 Being woke like that, extremely woke is just a new form of bullying.

00:20:10.520 And that's why when you look back at their tweets from 10 years ago, they have racist

00:20:15.040 tweets or sexist tweets because they've always been bullies.

00:20:17.560 They're just disguising it now and being woke and trying to cancel people.

00:20:22.020 So but they've always been the bully.

00:20:23.400 That's why I mean, you know, it's it's one of those things where if you just pay attention,

00:20:29.320 you see it.

00:20:30.120 That's why I feel fortunate to grow up in New York City and get hit a lot because I had

00:20:34.880 a very street smart father.

00:20:36.220 My father's all about, hey, I don't trust you.

00:20:38.580 Here's why you always got to look for them.

00:20:40.440 You always got to look for the deceitful fucks out there. 1.00

00:20:42.620 That's what he always always say.

00:20:44.000 So I feel like I can spot them.

00:20:45.800 I can spot them, you know, because I'm like, oh, I know that you're just you're hiding

00:20:50.340 something. If you're putting time and energy into ruining somebody else's life, that's

00:20:55.740 because you don't want us to look at the things in your life that would ruin your life.

00:20:59.700 That's right.

00:21:00.060 Or you're feeling so you feel like it's cover for whatever you've done.

00:21:03.660 You know, like you can say, no, I'm not racist.

00:21:06.180 Look, look, you know, I know there was that one tweet, but I've spent my life, you know,

00:21:10.040 trying to rectify racism wherever I see it.

00:21:11.980 It's like they think it's an insurance policy.

00:21:13.700 And really, it's just disgusting.

00:21:15.840 Coming up next, probably my favorite exchange of the interview, Chris on his dad, who is

00:21:21.280 one of the most colorful characters I think we've had discussed on this show ever.

00:21:25.620 And let me just say, I need to meet him.

00:21:28.820 That's in a second.

00:21:29.680 One second.

00:21:30.300 But first this.

00:21:31.040 I like the stories about your dad because it's like, don't, um, so trust no one.

00:21:43.200 The world is a dangerous place.

00:21:45.020 You need to get punched in the face.

00:21:48.260 We've got a different way, but I like this because it toughens kids up.

00:21:51.960 Well, it toughens kids up.

00:21:53.060 And he would always tell me, you'll understand life.

00:21:55.000 You'll start enjoying life when you understand life isn't fair.

00:21:57.420 So get over it.

00:21:58.240 He would always tell me that like, Chris, Chris, it's, it's not fair.

00:22:01.380 Like, what do you think?

00:22:02.480 Like, he's like, this is a big game.

00:22:03.960 Like, it's not fair.

00:22:04.840 You just do the best you can.

00:22:06.380 He's like, you know, and even like with entertainment, he would, you know, that's why I feel so fortunate

00:22:10.640 to have a family that I can like just fall back into them.

00:22:14.480 It's like, okay, then cancel me.

00:22:16.540 I'll just go.

00:22:17.180 I have a doctorate degree in physical therapy.

00:22:19.400 I'll go back to being a pediatric physical therapist and just playing with my family every day.

00:22:23.160 It's like, I'm doing comedy because it's cathartic and I love to do it.

00:22:26.340 And I also, you know, just for me, I like to just get it out and get, you know, like,

00:22:31.760 I feel like when I'm in the comedy club or the comedy theater, this, this, this is like a,

00:22:36.240 I think going to a comedy show is a nice litmus test for society.

00:22:39.540 And I have to tell you, even, you know, as it's opening up now after quarantine,

00:22:43.400 every time I go into a comedy room and do comedy, it's, it's my fans.

00:22:48.420 I'm, I'm, you know, happy to say are very culturally diverse fans.

00:22:51.720 I have all different walks of life that, that come to the show.

00:22:54.440 They're always laughing in unison or somebody who looks, you know, white, black, Asian, Jewish,

00:23:00.420 Muslim, Catholic, whatever.

00:23:01.820 They're just laughing in unison at the joke.

00:23:03.880 So I'm like, you know, I've, I've actually made a decision.

00:23:06.580 And I know some people would be like, whoa, don't do that to try to be less informed because

00:23:10.460 I want to be happy in my life.

00:23:12.100 And the more informed quote unquote, I am, the more stuff I watch, I'm like, oh my God,

00:23:16.880 I'm taking in all these problems from every pocket of the world and the country.

00:23:20.240 But I woke up today, my family was happy and healthy and they were eating.

00:23:24.600 And I looked outside and everybody was okay.

00:23:26.560 And I was having a good day until I turned on the news.

00:23:29.800 And now it's, now it's like, oh my God, the koala bears are dying in Australia.

00:23:33.920 What am I going to do?

00:23:35.000 I just had Jordan Peterson on the show and he, he's just written his second book.

00:23:38.940 The follow-up to 12 rules of right life.

00:23:41.480 This one's called beyond order.

00:23:42.940 And he, and I read it and it was basically talking about what is the meaning in life?

00:23:47.300 That's what people are searching for.

00:23:48.720 And he was saying, and this is my very condensed version, do something, take on responsibility,

00:23:55.980 like, and, and the harder, the better.

00:23:57.760 It should be hard.

00:23:58.760 Don't, don't take the easy way out.

00:24:00.520 And family, family's everything, a spouse, children, like there's no impugning that choice

00:24:07.940 because it will bring, you know, returns to you that you can never get in any other way.

00:24:11.600 And, and I do think too much involvement in the news and the hard news and the daily iterations

00:24:17.000 of news, it can be depressing because it pulls you away from those things in a large part.

00:24:22.420 You know, it's like family is what matters and the bigger picture.

00:24:25.460 And are you doing something to change the world in a way that's important?

00:24:28.120 Making people laugh, bringing joy to them.

00:24:30.360 That's, that's huge.

00:24:31.380 That's, I mean, physical therapy with children, which I know is what you did is also big, but

00:24:35.240 making people laugh, especially now is equally, if not bigger.

00:24:39.020 Yeah, it is.

00:24:40.600 And that, and, and I do, I feel that.

00:24:42.260 And that's why it gets, it's nerve wracking at times, not only because I understand what

00:24:46.620 people say, like in the media or whatever, on social media, like try to silence comedians

00:24:50.800 and jokes and all that stuff.

00:24:52.000 But, but really the people, at least in my field in comedy are not being canceled, quote

00:24:57.600 unquote, by the media.

00:24:59.020 They're being canceled by their own peers.

00:25:00.780 That's the scariness is comedians calling out other comedians because they don't have,

00:25:05.580 you know, the success, you know, so-and-so has.

00:25:08.580 So they're like, oh, the way that I can get successful and get people to look at me is

00:25:11.900 if I tweet out something about a joke that offended me, you know, from, from my comedian

00:25:17.220 peer.

00:25:17.620 So it's really other comedians are doing it.

00:25:20.460 And it's, it's what, you know, we would sit, you know, and before the pandemic in the

00:25:23.720 back of the comedy cellar, which is where I always am in New York city.

00:25:27.460 And, you know, you, you know, a lot of, you know, in comedy cellar, it's like, that's

00:25:31.160 a premier club.

00:25:31.980 Like anybody you've ever heard of comes through the comedy cellar, it's, it's a big, big club

00:25:36.120 and, you know, all the best of the best people come through there in New York.

00:25:39.720 And, you know, you would be listening to, you know, some comedian celebrity who's out

00:25:44.000 there like trying to cancel someone.

00:25:45.400 And we'd be being like, dude, if they only knew the truth about this fucking scumbag piece

00:25:49.480 of shit about the things we've heard so-and-so say at this comedy cellar booth, you know, 0.59

00:25:54.160 but I'm not going to go tweet and try to ruin somebody's life.

00:25:56.540 My whole thing is like, listen, I don't need to get involved.

00:25:59.040 If, if, if somebody is really scum and is hiding things, it's going to come out, whether

00:26:03.080 I tweet it or not.

00:26:04.040 I think the issues that I think the big plagues we have in our country right now, everyone

00:26:09.320 likes to talk about obesity and all those things.

00:26:11.080 And that is a problem, but narcissism and insecurity, those two things are, I mean, the narcissism

00:26:17.760 in our country is so insane where I'm like, wow, even like, you know, like everybody reads

00:26:24.280 one article and they think now they're a, they're an expert at this thing that they read

00:26:30.360 one article about when it's like, no, no, no, no.

00:26:32.360 People go to school, graduate, get doctor degrees and whatever to become experts in this

00:26:36.920 field.

00:26:37.220 You, you, what, you Googled one thing.

00:26:38.940 It's like, buddy, you work for FedEx.

00:26:40.280 Stop telling me what the vaccine's going to do to me or what's going to happen.

00:26:43.780 And if this, if, you know, if the Supreme court sways this way, it's like, you have, where

00:26:47.760 do I sign for the fucking package?

00:26:49.340 Okay.

00:26:49.800 That's what I, because, but these narcissists come out and they think, oh, I read two articles

00:26:53.980 and then they're spewing their opinions.

00:26:55.440 I mean, even it's scary because once it's, it's starting to hit like medical professionals,

00:26:59.640 like, you know, a couple of months ago, my, my daughter, I got a five-year-old daughter.

00:27:04.460 I took her to the pediatrician and she needed her updated, you know, vaccine shots, you know,

00:27:09.880 like whatever for like children's vaccines.

00:27:12.260 And the doctor like so cautiously, he was like, I just want to let you know, sir, that

00:27:16.320 she, her updated vaccines are ready.

00:27:19.540 It is totally 100% your choice.

00:27:22.160 If you would like to get her vaccinated.

00:27:23.720 I'm like, why is that my choice guy?

00:27:25.440 I went to fucking Nassau community college.

00:27:27.920 Like, you know, like why, why would you, why is that my choice?

00:27:31.420 I'm the dad.

00:27:32.220 I'm here to hold her down and you light her up with mumps, rubella, whatever else you got 1.00

00:27:36.640 back there.

00:27:37.040 I'm not a doctor.

00:27:38.220 I'm a doctor in physical therapy.

00:27:39.700 It's like, I can massage your hamstrings.

00:27:41.360 Like what you're like, I didn't have a choice when I was a child on the vaccine.

00:27:45.340 That's like, I woke up one day I was, you know, seven, eight years old.

00:27:48.440 I thought me and my mom were going to go get ice cream or play in the park, but she took

00:27:51.820 me to the doctor and they just injected polio into my veins.

00:27:55.260 I just got hit with polio.

00:27:56.960 Can I tell you something?

00:27:57.920 So my mom was a nurse and she, she worked at a doctor's office when I was little and

00:28:02.640 she used to bring the needle home. 0.92

00:28:04.380 And I have distinct memories of her chasing me around our 1970s, like red, black, white,

00:28:10.040 weird flower pattern couch and me running, just running, trying to avoid it.

00:28:14.520 And then she'd get me, she'd stab me with it.

00:28:16.660 Like you don't recover from that, Chris.

00:28:18.820 No, you don't recover from that.

00:28:20.420 No, I know.

00:28:21.080 And I kind of, you know, like now it's like, you know, I'll have my 10 year olds telling

00:28:25.740 me about, you know, medical science that he's, you know, seeing videos in TikTok.

00:28:30.460 I'm like, if you're, if the doctor is dancing in a TikTok video, fucking get, they should

00:28:34.840 have your license revoked.

00:28:36.420 If you're a professional, if you have a license or something and you dance about it on TikTok,

00:28:40.340 I am a proponent of taking your license away.

00:28:45.680 So I want to follow up on life is not fair.

00:28:48.200 Your dad's very good message.

00:28:49.500 It isn't.

00:28:50.200 And that's lost as well.

00:28:51.520 Now, of course, it's all about equal outcomes for everyone or the whole system sucks.

00:28:55.400 The system's unfair, systemically racist and bad in other ways, unless we have perfectly

00:28:59.400 equal outcomes, which is not possible and is never going to be attained.

00:29:03.460 And it's, it's making me think what's happening with the, with the Georgia voting law and Major

00:29:09.820 League Baseball, which, you know, Georgia changed his voting law.

00:29:13.280 It tightened it in some ways and it made it easier in other ways for people to vote.

00:29:16.660 And there's been a democratic freak out that's based not in fact at all.

00:29:21.820 And, you know, the premise is you're trying to make it harder for African-Americans to vote.

00:29:25.920 It's not true.

00:29:27.000 It's just, it isn't true at all.

00:29:29.120 And the way the vote actually, you know, the restrictions actually came out.

00:29:32.340 And now the irony is Atlanta, which is where it's being pulled from the game.

00:29:37.740 This is the MLLB all-star game is 52% black.

00:29:42.360 They're moving the game.

00:29:43.640 We now know to Denver, which is 80% white, 9.8% black, nearly 30% of the businesses in

00:29:49.780 Atlanta are black owned and Georgia, which again has a lot of black owned businesses is

00:29:55.000 losing about a hundred million dollars as a result of this, according to the better business

00:29:59.580 bureau down there.

00:30:00.260 So you, you got a situation where they're trying to make it more equal, but of course the people

00:30:04.180 they wind up hurting are the very people they claim to want to be supporting.

00:30:08.440 And this, while the commissioner, Rob Manfred, who by the way, is a member at Augusta national,

00:30:13.220 right in, in Georgia, which has got its own allegedly racist history.

00:30:17.080 This is what the Democrats have been saying for years, but he's a member there, but he's

00:30:21.480 going to stand up to racism by moving this game, right?

00:30:24.780 But this guy, you look at his own history and you look at where he's doing business.

00:30:28.880 Like Marco Rubio just wrote him a letter saying, oh, this is wonderful.

00:30:31.600 I look forward to your announcement that you're going to stop doing business with China.

00:30:34.720 That's now engaged in an ethnic genocide.

00:30:37.120 It didn't say you can't be served food and water while you're in the line by a partisan.

00:30:41.760 By the way, if you're, if you're in line in a Georgia voting, uh, in a Georgia voting

00:30:45.740 line, you can get served food and water as long as somebody doesn't have a partisan

00:30:48.500 affiliation or t-shirt on and you can bring your own.

00:30:51.900 Um, but they're not forcing sterilization on the people waiting in the Georgia voting

00:30:56.120 lines like China is with whom MLB is just fine doing business.

00:31:00.300 I mean, it's just insane.

00:31:01.740 It's insane.

00:31:02.400 It's, it's, it's one of those things where again, it's like, you know, when my, when

00:31:07.260 I, my five-year-old is trying to argue with me and then I prove that I'm right because

00:31:11.720 I'm the adult in the room, she sticks her fingers in her ears and start stomping. 1.00

00:31:15.140 That's exactly what happens with these grown adults who, when you say, okay, but Rob Manfred,

00:31:20.800 yeah.

00:31:20.980 What about Augusta National?

00:31:22.120 He'll just, you know, he'll, as an adult through his lawyers, pretty much put his fingers

00:31:26.200 in his ears and start stomping and be like, no, no, no.

00:31:28.660 Because that's the thing is you, you make this move because you, you're just getting

00:31:32.500 put pressure put on you by, you know, the radical it's rather.

00:31:36.120 And when I say, I'm not one of these people that's like, I hate liberals.

00:31:39.180 I told you I'm in the center and I lean left, but there's a sect that are radical lefts.

00:31:43.720 And, and those people are, I'm telling you, it's almost like in Game of Thrones when that

00:31:49.080 one season in Game of Thrones, where the religious fanatics took charge of the, of, of the kingdom

00:31:56.540 and they had Queen Cersei walking naked while the peasants were throwing shit at her. 0.81

00:32:02.540 Shame.

00:32:02.920 Shame.

00:32:03.780 That's what's happened.

00:32:04.880 I feel like the radical left are those religious fanatics from Game of Thrones where it's like,

00:32:08.880 you really, the truth is, it's like, okay, yeah, you're, you're making us, you know,

00:32:13.640 repent for our sins, but you know, you got, you got little children in your closet that,

00:32:17.360 you know, like you're, you're, you're the most disgusting person. 0.96

00:32:20.300 And you're shielding that by saying, oh, look at all, look at all these problems that everyone

00:32:24.700 else is having, but not me, I'm the savior.

00:32:26.360 And that, as soon as I saw that Rob Manfred thing, as soon as they took that game out of

00:32:30.920 Atlanta, I said, well, they better put it.

00:32:33.540 Atlanta is our most African-American dominated city.

00:32:36.140 They, they better put that, they better put that game like in, they better put it somewhere.

00:32:41.540 They better stay in the deep South or it better go to some African-American dominated. 1.00

00:32:46.900 9.8% black Denver.

00:32:49.380 I mean, give me a break.

00:32:50.400 And by the way, Colorado requires photo ID to vote in person, requires signature verification

00:32:56.420 for mail-in ballots, which by the way, Georgia doesn't, doesn't require signature verification

00:33:00.000 for mail-in ballots.

00:33:00.820 That's, uh, Colorado also prevents campaign workers from giving food or water to voters

00:33:05.320 within a hundred feet of the polling station if they're wearing campaign apparel.

00:33:08.140 So, and Colorado requires voter ID to vote in person.

00:33:11.700 Colorado has fewer early vote days than Georgia.

00:33:15.040 So I have no idea why they moved it to Colorado, but I'm, I don't buy their moral preening.

00:33:21.580 And, and if you want to, and like the States are different, each one has its own different

00:33:26.080 requirements, right?

00:33:26.900 You can't have a perfectly equal or similar, uh, voting system in each state because of

00:33:33.080 federalism.

00:33:33.660 And they know that.

00:33:34.680 So why did they move it?

00:33:36.140 It's basically just an attempt to kowtow to the loudest voices.

00:33:40.740 And apparently there were 50 members of like a, a black players association.

00:33:46.840 It wasn't even all of them.

00:33:47.720 It was like 50 members of black players association that leaned on MLB.

00:33:51.440 Well, they don't speak for all of the fans, black, white, and otherwise, right?

00:33:55.100 It's just the heckler's veto.

00:33:58.400 It's small.

00:33:58.960 It's always these small groups.

00:34:00.780 I would think, I would think whatever there is in, in, in America, 350, 360 million people,

00:34:07.200 however many here, 95% of them don't care that the game is in Atlanta because of the voting

00:34:13.240 loss.

00:34:13.440 Like majority overwhelming majority don't care, but the small, smallest group that are

00:34:18.380 the loudest on social media, they're not the loudest in, in the physical world.

00:34:21.620 Again, none of these people are going to go to Rob Manfred's office and demand anything.

00:34:26.020 None of these people are going to say anything to their neighbors in the physical realm.

00:34:29.260 It's all on Twitter because to me, again, it's all narcissism.

00:34:33.060 It's all, Oh, here's now being a victim, being a victim now is like currency.

00:34:38.380 It's literally, that's how you get value.

00:34:40.860 Forget about money.

00:34:41.540 Forget about Bitcoin.

00:34:42.920 How many victim dollars am I going to get?

00:34:45.040 Because it's like, okay, I didn't get something.

00:34:47.560 Now I'm stopping my feet.

00:34:48.480 What can I do?

00:34:49.160 All right.

00:34:49.400 Now I could say I'm a victim.

00:34:50.760 Now I can just turn around and be like, okay, I'm a victim.

00:34:52.820 And now give me things, give me things, give me things.

00:34:55.100 And it just continues to happen.

00:34:56.700 I'm telling you, there's a big part of me and maybe I sound like a kook or maybe I'll 0.94

00:35:01.180 be proven right in a few years.

00:35:02.440 I don't know.

00:35:02.920 But I genuinely think 95 plus percent of the people you're arguing with on Twitter or social

00:35:10.060 media are bots.

00:35:11.860 Specifically, I think they're Russian bots.

00:35:13.880 I think we're at World War III already.

00:35:16.440 We're not going to invade Moscow.

00:35:18.020 They're not going to invade us.

00:35:19.160 It's not going to happen anymore.

00:35:20.360 This isn't, you know, we got mutually assured destruction with the nukes.

00:35:22.920 I think it's this type of warfare where it's like divide from within and it's all happening

00:35:27.240 on social media.

00:35:27.900 I think these Russian bots come, they divide us from within, they have all these, because 1.00

00:35:32.800 if you look at some type of divisive tweet, 20 different accounts that all look like regular

00:35:36.900 American people are tweeting the exact same thing, word for word, copy and paste, dividing 0.55

00:35:41.320 and dividing and dividing.

00:35:42.480 And I'm like, but they're a real leftist.

00:35:45.100 And I don't even know what that term means anymore.

00:35:46.940 I mean, none of my liberal friends supports this BS.

00:35:49.760 It's like one sort of angry, sad, little insecure group on the left.

00:35:54.740 That's very loud, far left, radical left, whatever you want to call it.

00:35:57.900 But they're the ones, they're the enemies.

00:35:59.800 They're the enemies of the people.

00:36:01.340 But they're real and they're out there.

00:36:03.100 And it's not just them.

00:36:04.600 Look at Joe Biden.

00:36:05.680 Joe Biden was out there leading the calls that this Georgia law is is Jim Crow 2.0, right?

00:36:12.320 Comparing the use of fire hoses to the requirement that you present a voter ID in order to vote

00:36:18.920 and exercise your right, right?

00:36:20.080 It doesn't even have to be a license.

00:36:20.980 And I was like very heartened to see Charles Barkley, who always speaks sense about these

00:36:27.360 issues.

00:36:27.760 I mean, I guess he's rich enough and he's just comfortable enough in his own skin that

00:36:31.320 he's he's willing to speak out against what's become this conventional wisdom on race and

00:36:35.460 all these divisions.

00:36:36.380 And he called out the politicians who were using this stuff to to to divide us.

00:36:41.520 Here's the soundbite.

00:36:42.440 Man, I think most white people and black people are great people.

00:36:46.100 I really believe that in my heart.

00:36:47.900 But I think our system is set up for our politicians, whether they're Republicans or Democrats, are

00:36:54.940 designed to make us not like each other so they can keep their grasp of money and power.

00:37:01.060 They divide and conquer.

00:37:03.460 I truly believe in my heart, most white people and black people are awesome people.

00:37:07.360 But we're so stupid following our politicians, whether they are Republicans or Democrats.

00:37:12.480 And their only job is, hey, let's make these people not like each other.

00:37:17.860 We don't live in their neighborhoods.

00:37:19.980 We're all got money.

00:37:21.680 Let's make the whites and blacks not like each other. 1.00

00:37:24.780 Let's make rich people and poor people not like each other.

00:37:28.740 Let's let's scramble the middle class. 1.00

00:37:31.160 I truly believe that in my heart.

00:37:33.360 Love that.

00:37:34.680 I agree.

00:37:35.600 When I was I was watching that live, I was like 100 percent Charles Barkley.

00:37:40.200 And that needed to come that needed to come from, of course, a black man or a white man 0.91

00:37:44.640 or any other buddy non-black can't say that.

00:37:47.280 But Charles Barkley can say that.

00:37:48.720 And I know that, you know, yes, he's got money.

00:37:51.360 And I know he's, you know, quote unquote, had, you know, a privileged life because of his

00:37:55.620 hard work.

00:37:56.300 OK, that he was worked his ass off to get to get that.

00:37:59.520 Like people think like, oh, you're privileged.

00:38:01.600 It's like, what are you talking about?

00:38:02.860 Like you got to work hard to get what you want.

00:38:05.240 And Barkley did that.

00:38:06.260 And I think, you know, him saying that goes a long way.

00:38:09.460 And again, on Twitter, I know like and guess guess on and guess what?

00:38:13.820 On Twitter, when I looked at the tweets, most if you're saying they're not Russian bots,

00:38:17.180 fine, Megan, I'll believe you.

00:38:18.560 If you're saying they're not Russian bots, I believe you. 0.99

00:38:20.600 But most of the people on Twitter who had negative things to say to Charles Barkley about

00:38:25.460 that were white.

00:38:26.540 They because it's always white people just being like, oh, you know, like it's always 0.84

00:38:31.340 usually like, oh, yeah, like I'm I'm fighting for you.

00:38:33.880 It's like, dude, you figure out your own shit.

00:38:35.800 It's like if I was black or not white, I'd be like, why are all these white people like 1.00

00:38:39.600 just I that's another thing.

00:38:40.920 I don't trust a white person that all of a sudden wants to champion everybody else's,

00:38:45.560 you know, rights and get out there and make a difference.

00:38:48.260 I'm like, what are you hiding now?

00:38:49.380 Because really, in reality, these people, non-whites can figure things out when you're 1.00

00:38:53.480 a victim of adversity.

00:38:54.360 It's like you work your ass off to overcome that adversity.

00:38:57.560 That's so I would be like, what?

00:38:59.100 So now you're just going to give me things because I'm another race.

00:39:03.400 Yes.

00:39:03.920 You know, it's like, so what?

00:39:05.440 So now what?

00:39:06.020 So now I'm basically cheat.

00:39:07.340 You're basically cheating for me and like rigging the game for me.

00:39:10.020 I'd be like, no, I want to work for it and get it just the way you got it.

00:39:13.240 That's equality is we're all starting out, you know, may the best person win.

00:39:17.700 You know, that's that's what it is.

00:39:19.160 And then, yeah, and we help each other.

00:39:20.980 Like, I help your brother, your sister, no matter what they look like, to get to where

00:39:24.500 they need to go.

00:39:25.080 But don't rig the game for them.

00:39:26.860 That's not equality.

00:39:27.860 That's making them feel worse.

00:39:29.120 I would imagine that would make me if I was a non-white person, that would make me feel

00:39:33.680 worse.

00:39:34.260 I'm like, wait a second.

00:39:35.220 It would be infuriating.

00:39:36.780 It would be infuriating.

00:39:37.840 And unfortunately, I don't think that in the same way, I think most trans people are not

00:39:42.480 really represented by these very, very loud trans activists.

00:39:45.960 They don't they don't they don't care if you say your pronouns like that.

00:39:49.520 But they're not they don't care.

00:39:51.140 They just want to be left alone.

00:39:52.260 They want to be respected.

00:39:53.100 They want to get the same job opportunities.

00:39:54.640 Very reasonable.

00:39:56.020 And they don't care about, you know, you you you can't use the term boy or girl in your

00:40:01.060 school like we just know Christ Church here in Manhattan say that those terms are banned.

00:40:06.280 Mom and dad are banned.

00:40:07.920 Right.

00:40:08.040 Like that's and I think the same is true for people of color.

00:40:10.800 They're not represented by people who want to say black people can't handle math.

00:40:17.040 They can't handle proper English.

00:40:19.540 Like we saw the message sent from Rutgers University that says you can't really require

00:40:23.660 or expect that of the black population.

00:40:25.400 It's ridiculous.

00:40:26.140 And it's offensive.

00:40:27.500 All right.

00:40:27.760 Wait, I want to shift gears because I wanted to ask you what you thought about where we

00:40:31.040 are in covid.

00:40:31.680 The the the you know, some of these states now, some of these more red states are opening

00:40:37.940 up, like stopping the mask mandates, not restricting businesses anymore.

00:40:43.040 And one of them is Texas.

00:40:44.760 And the National Review, Jim Garrity actually just took a really interesting look at he's

00:40:49.200 like, I'm waiting, waiting for the Texas apocalypse.

00:40:51.780 Right.

00:40:51.960 Because most of us are sick of these damn masks and all the restrictions on us.

00:40:54.760 And here's what he reports as of March 9th, the day before their mask mandate ended,

00:41:01.680 Texas had, I'm just around the numbers, 5000 new cases of covid.

00:41:07.040 Now, after about a month after the mask mandate was lifted, they have twenty nine hundred new

00:41:13.080 cases of covid.

00:41:13.980 The number's gone significantly down back March 9th.

00:41:17.680 The seven day average for new cases was about four thousand.

00:41:22.960 Now it's twenty eight hundred.

00:41:25.180 Back then they had one hundred and twenty six thousand active cases of covid.

00:41:29.520 Now it's ninety six thousand.

00:41:31.680 Back then, the seven day average for new deaths was one hundred and four.

00:41:35.560 Now it's eight.

00:41:38.060 So the apocalypse hasn't come.

00:41:41.020 And yet the only reporting you see is where numbers have gone up and how irresponsible people

00:41:47.840 are.

00:41:48.100 And, you know, the numbers have gone up in places like New York, which is a highly populated

00:41:51.380 area, but we still have our masks on.

00:41:54.340 We're still doing all the restrictions and no one seems to know what they're doing.

00:41:59.300 Yeah, I agree.

00:42:00.140 I think, you know, even me being out here in, you know, Los Angeles, I've been in Los Angeles

00:42:04.880 for a month.

00:42:05.720 You know, I got to stay here for another couple of months.

00:42:07.960 And it's it's actually the word I used to describe the covid out here is hysteria.

00:42:13.740 It's it's genuine hysteria.

00:42:15.760 I mean, mask face shield.

00:42:17.280 If I'm walking, you know, I'm doing a hosting a TV show out here and it's like I'm we're in

00:42:24.140 a covid bubble.

00:42:24.900 We get tested every day and all this stuff.

00:42:26.500 But you still if you're walking from the set to the to the other set, which is all outdoors,

00:42:31.240 by the way, you have to have a mask, a face shield and goggles.

00:42:33.680 It's like and and, you know, and and a gown.

00:42:36.420 Dude, I swear I look like I'm walking out of fucking Chernobyl to go film a TV show when

00:42:41.580 I'm like, nobody has covid here.

00:42:43.360 We just you just told me nobody has covid.

00:42:45.000 And also 80 percent of the staff working on the show are vaccinated three weeks post vaccination.

00:42:50.940 So all the health experts are saying if you're vaccinated, you can't pass it and you

00:42:55.680 can't get it and all these things.

00:42:57.060 And I'm like, OK, so then why why is everybody wearing the mask and the face shields or my

00:43:01.180 here's what I know is is is listen, I understand covid was it was real is real.

00:43:06.900 You know, we know that.

00:43:08.300 But but the people who had the bad, at least in my friend group, I'll say who had the really

00:43:13.440 bad reactions to covid, I could have told you they were going to have a bad reaction

00:43:16.780 to covid two years ago because they're the most nervous, you know, people that, you know,

00:43:21.780 everything they listen, they are like sheep just listening to everything the newscasters

00:43:26.700 tell them to do.

00:43:27.780 They do.

00:43:28.420 And they all had bad reactions.

00:43:29.580 My friends who were just more like, yeah, whatever, if I get it, I get it.

00:43:32.520 We're sick for a day and then got out and then and then we're just OK.

00:43:36.040 Now, I'm not saying, you know, covid's not real and you shouldn't take it seriously.

00:43:38.820 You should.

00:43:39.220 I'm saying there's a mental component to all this stuff.

00:43:42.240 I think the people that sit that are like glued to the TV and are, you know, taking pictures

00:43:46.480 because let's hear again back.

00:43:48.540 That's more narcissism.

00:43:49.820 What about all these people take posting selfies of themselves with a mask on sitting in the

00:43:53.560 middle of the park being like, just got my second vaccine shot.

00:43:56.680 It's like you're not saying that to spread.

00:43:58.520 You're saying that because you want us, everybody to be like, look at how great so and so is.

00:44:02.700 Look at how great you are.

00:44:04.020 Oh, my God, you're the best person ever.

00:44:06.020 So even you getting the vaccine is for your own narcissistic idea.

00:44:09.260 You're not trying to save your grandparents.

00:44:10.700 I love the people that were like, oh, you know, even people tweeting at me, you know, I was

00:44:14.520 when I started doing stand up shows again, they're like, it's not about you, Chris.

00:44:18.120 You're young and healthy.

00:44:19.100 But like, what if you kill your grandpa?

00:44:21.300 I'm like, my grandpa's racist.

00:44:22.720 I thought we were trying to get rid of the racist.

00:44:24.260 I mean, my grandpa fought in World War Two.

00:44:26.160 He still to this day doesn't use chopsticks because he thinks the Japanese are the enemy.

00:44:29.420 I mean, stop trying to play pretend like you want me to protect this guy.

00:44:34.080 I love the stories about your grandpa.

00:44:36.100 They literally make me laugh out loud.

00:44:37.960 You're talking about how you can tell it.

00:44:40.340 But like how that he was allegedly in the mafia that he shows up at World War Two, like

00:44:45.800 I'll put all the I'll make it look like an accident up.

00:44:50.500 I'll take him out.

00:44:51.220 I'll make it all look like that.

00:44:52.400 Look like an accident.

00:44:53.320 Yeah.

00:44:53.460 And I always just was fascinated because like I knew like, you know, he again, you know,

00:44:56.780 was in and out of prison when I was a kid, too.

00:44:58.840 And we always knew like what's, you know, he was one of that's the thing when people

00:45:01.760 like, oh, you know, you know who my uncle is, you know who my father is.

00:45:05.500 I'm like, probably nobody, because if they were somebody, you wouldn't be popping off

00:45:09.080 about it.

00:45:09.440 You wouldn't be so proud of it.

00:45:10.500 You would just keep your mouth shut because that's what you were taught to do.

00:45:13.240 And what my grandpa was kind of like that guy, you know, we go to these restaurants,

00:45:16.800 you know, Bomonti's in Brooklyn, you know, Gargiulio's in Coney Island.

00:45:20.700 And my grand, you know, my grandpa's just sitting there, you know, back against the

00:45:24.200 wall, looking around people, you know, saying hello to him.

00:45:26.520 And it was so much fun.

00:45:27.560 And I was always like, you know, but like he was like not a mafia boss or anything like

00:45:31.480 that, but he felt like a guy who was like in charge.

00:45:33.740 And I would always think about like, even when I was a teenager, like, you know, if this

00:45:37.360 guy was in World War II, like he probably had like a lot of problems, like taking instructions

00:45:41.440 from like the generals, like, you know, like, you know, like the general be like, come

00:45:46.160 on, you know, he would just show up to the battle, like no gun.

00:45:48.620 He's just like in a wife beater with a sauce stain, you know, just a fucking baseball bat

00:45:52.780 just on the beaches of Normandy.

00:45:54.460 Like, what do you want me to do?

00:45:55.540 Fucking kill people?

00:45:56.500 That's what I do.

00:45:58.240 You know, like I, so, but that, and look, even like my own family, like it's, it's tough

00:46:04.760 for me at times to, you know, try to put myself in other people's shoes, you know, because

00:46:10.660 my family, I just came from like a very tough family and even me like doing comedy and like

00:46:16.940 following my dream.

00:46:18.280 Like my family just thinks I'm like a wuss for that.

00:46:20.580 You know, like my father will like heckle me at my show.

00:46:22.560 He's like, yeah.

00:46:23.500 He's like, look at you with the microphone.

00:46:25.160 You like long objects by your mouth, right?

00:46:27.440 Chrissy.

00:46:27.860 I'm like, dad, please, please.

00:46:30.600 Like my own father heckling me.

00:46:32.440 But like, you know, and even like my cousin, I have a cousin who grew up in the same house

00:46:35.920 to meet, you know, she was one of, uh, uh, three female firefighters in, in her graduating

00:46:40.480 class, FDNY firefighters.

00:46:42.180 And she's like the toughest person I know.

00:46:44.260 I remember when we were 17 years old, I was 17, 18 years old.

00:46:48.100 I was coming home.

00:46:49.540 Uh, you know, it was the middle of the day I'm coming home and there's police, uh, police

00:46:53.520 cars in a, an ambulance outside my house.

00:46:55.880 So I start running down the block.

00:46:57.160 I'm like, Oh my God, like did something happen to my family?

00:46:59.420 And I see a guy laying in our driveway with two broken arms, like screaming in pain.

00:47:05.280 They were handcuffed.

00:47:06.120 The police were handcuffing his ankles.

00:47:07.420 I was like, what happened?

00:47:08.640 And my cousin comes out and she's like, this motherfucker tried to break into our house. 1.00

00:47:11.920 So I threw him out the window.

00:47:13.080 I was like, Holy shit.

00:47:15.100 She threw a girl, threw him out the window. 1.00

00:47:17.160 So sometimes when I hear like, you know, some of the things that go on, like, you know,

00:47:21.940 like, uh, uh, with like, you know, people being like, so like dainty about certain subjects.

00:47:27.020 I'm like the, the woman and women in my family throw burglars out the window. 1.00

00:47:30.820 So it's hard for me to be like, Oh, I felt uncomfortable with his words.

00:47:35.580 I'm like, well, if my cousin felt uncomfortable with your words, you know, you would get,

00:47:39.420 you would have a broken bone in your body.

00:47:41.680 Coming up next, we're going to talk to Chris about Hunter Biden and his on-camera denials

00:47:46.600 about his laptop, which were laughable.

00:47:49.560 Chris has got nothing on Hunter Biden because he was hilarious in his interview on CBS.

00:47:54.260 It was outrageous and we'll get to it.

00:47:55.880 And we're also going to hear a very funny story about Jazzy in an elevator bottom line.

00:47:59.980 Don't mess with her.

00:48:01.140 If she's doing something in an elevator, you don't like, or don't approve of keep your mouth

00:48:05.060 shut.

00:48:06.000 We'll do that in one second.

00:48:07.180 But first I want to bring you a feature we have here on the Megan Kelly show called

00:48:11.300 you can't say that or be that or think that, Oh wait, this is America.

00:48:17.000 And the, the subject of today is a woman I mentioned the other day in the show, when I was talking

00:48:22.720 to Candace Owens, Sarah Paulson, she is an actress and she is learning the lesson that

00:48:28.180 even though you may be part of the LGBTQ crowd, you may be progressive, liberal and woke.

00:48:34.400 You can never be woke enough.

00:48:36.120 The crowd will turn on you if you just bend or break one of their rules.

00:48:40.520 Now you may know this actress from the people versus OJ Simpson. 0.94

00:48:44.200 She played Marsha Clark, American horror story or game change.

00:48:48.200 She's been in a lot of stuff.

00:48:49.000 She's successful.

00:48:49.740 You'd definitely know her face if you saw her and she has said that she doesn't actually

00:48:53.580 like to be defined as gay or lesbian or bisexual, but she has previously been engaged to a man.

00:49:00.420 And for the last several decades, she's been in long-term relationships with women first 0.99

00:49:04.380 Sherry Jones.

00:49:05.580 And then now Holland Taylor, who I loved from the practice.

00:49:09.420 Do you remember?

00:49:09.740 I think she was judge Kittleson and she was so good.

00:49:13.020 She was beautiful and tough.

00:49:14.620 And she had an affair with Jimmy.

00:49:16.180 Remember this?

00:49:16.620 I'm dating myself, but that's a great show.

00:49:18.440 If you're looking for something to watch, go back and watch the practice from start to finish.

00:49:21.640 Great way to burn the time.

00:49:23.180 Anyway, so Sarah Paulson's LGBT, but she does not have her pronouns in her Twitter bio.

00:49:28.400 So one rando on Twitter demanded that she correct that immediately, writing to her,

00:49:32.880 put your pronouns in your bio.

00:49:35.460 It's not that hard.

00:49:37.000 So obnoxious, right?

00:49:37.900 To which Paulson fired back, it's also not that hard for you to not tell me what to do.

00:49:42.920 I mean, pretty benign, pretty milquetoast as responses go.

00:49:45.700 Well, you know how it goes.

00:49:47.180 You can't say that.

00:49:48.300 Some on Twitter started telling her to shut up, saying how disappointed they were in her.

00:49:53.340 She's not being an ally.

00:49:55.280 And then others started calling her a TERF, trans exclusionary radical feminist, which 0.99

00:50:01.660 any woman who stands up to the sort of loudest, meanest trans representatives gets called. 1.00

00:50:08.860 And I say again, these trans representatives do not speak for the trans community. 0.99

00:50:14.540 I don't either, but I know enough trans people to know that they're not behind this crazy 0.97

00:50:18.540 lunacy.

00:50:20.060 By the way, TERF, that term is the same thing that the radical woke crazies on Twitter called

00:50:24.200 J.K. Rowling of Harry Potter fame when she was being criticized for comments she made about

00:50:28.860 the trans community.

00:50:29.540 And you know who was one of them?

00:50:31.020 One of the ones criticizing J.K.

00:50:32.560 Rowling?

00:50:33.400 Sarah Paulson.

00:50:34.260 Doesn't matter how many chips you put into that bank, people, you never have a big enough

00:50:40.260 account to save you when the mob turns on you.

00:50:43.180 It wasn't enough.

00:50:44.400 Paulson, well, she needs to be canceled, according to the mob, because she's refusing to be bullied 1.00

00:50:49.880 into putting her pronouns into her stupid Twitter bio, something about which absolutely 0.63

00:50:53.780 zero sane people care.

00:50:55.500 That's the thing, folks.

00:50:56.600 You must say she or her.

00:50:58.120 And if you say no and don't tell me what to do, you can't say that.

00:51:03.040 Back to Chris DiStefano right after this.

00:51:11.320 This is like the theme of our interview, as it turns out, like just toughening up our

00:51:14.500 kids and toughening up ourselves.

00:51:16.080 And I was thinking that very thing when the elusive Hunter Biden finally took to the airwaves

00:51:24.700 this weekend.

00:51:26.120 You know, where's Hunter?

00:51:27.420 Well, he's sitting down with CBS News and he was on CBS this morning, this past Sunday.

00:51:32.380 And it was just as outlandish as you would expect this.

00:51:37.900 Clearly, this guy needed somebody to be tougher on him.

00:51:40.240 You know, old Joe, he needed to be minding the shop there a bit because Hunter did not

00:51:44.160 turn out the way any family member wants one's child to.

00:51:47.560 And finally got asked a bit about the damn laptop, which is a story, even though it was

00:51:53.540 suppressed.

00:51:54.100 The New York Post's reporting on it was suppressed by Facebook and Twitter, completely eliminated

00:51:58.400 as false.

00:51:59.140 And it's 100 percent true.

00:52:00.720 It's what their reporting has been verified, notwithstanding what Hunter Biden is saying.

00:52:05.420 And you got to hear the soundbite of this guy, weasel like dodging and weaving when the

00:52:11.500 reporter asks him about it.

00:52:13.060 Listen.

00:52:13.680 Was that your laptop?

00:52:15.000 For real?

00:52:15.380 I don't know.

00:52:15.980 I know.

00:52:16.240 But you know that.

00:52:16.840 I really don't know if the answer is.

00:52:18.920 You don't know, yes or no, if the laptop was yours.

00:52:20.960 I don't have any idea.

00:52:22.360 I have no idea whether or not.

00:52:23.320 So it could have been yours.

00:52:24.600 Of course, certainly.

00:52:25.700 There could be a laptop out there that was stolen from me.

00:52:28.280 There could be that I was hacked.

00:52:29.700 It could be that it was Russian intelligence.

00:52:33.400 It could be that it was stolen from me.

00:52:36.000 And you didn't drop off a laptop to be repaired in Delaware?

00:52:39.960 No.

00:52:39.980 Not that I remember at all.

00:52:41.900 At all.

00:52:43.040 So, we'll see.

00:52:44.620 That sounds like exactly like a guy getting caught, DMing a woman by his wife.

00:52:53.800 That's the exact playbook.

00:52:55.220 It could have been Russian intelligence.

00:52:56.780 It wasn't me.

00:52:57.640 My account was hacked.

00:52:59.260 That is not my phone.

00:53:00.160 That is not my laptop.

00:53:01.220 I did not DM that woman.

00:53:02.760 That's literally exactly what that sounded like.

00:53:05.800 And I love the treatment.

00:53:07.760 And I know people have said this, I'm sure, a lot.

00:53:10.040 But it's like the treatment Hunter Biden is getting.

00:53:13.340 You like nobody like this is just like washed away where it's like, dude, I mean, this guy

00:53:18.640 literally like, you know, is the president's son, you know, like doing crack like, you know,

00:53:23.940 so, you know, all these issues, you know, the emails and doing shady deals.

00:53:28.440 But everyone's like, no, nothing to see here.

00:53:31.080 No, there's a bunch of alleged crimes on that laptop, according to the reporting that's

00:53:35.780 been out there, suppressed.

00:53:36.820 But out there are a bunch of alleged crimes.

00:53:39.520 So whether it's his matters, it's important.

00:53:43.260 And I realize, you know, they say his book very powerfully gets into his massive drug

00:53:47.500 problem.

00:53:48.480 Great, great.

00:53:49.700 But you're not a spokesman for anything because you're not a truth teller, Hunter Biden.

00:53:55.160 So I don't I don't believe a word you say.

00:53:56.700 I don't believe anything in you.

00:53:57.600 I was just talking about this when it comes to Meghan Markle.

00:53:59.960 Well, there's a saying in the law, it's Latin falsus in Nuno falsus in you in omnibus.

00:54:05.900 And it means you tell a lie about one thing.

00:54:08.100 The jury's entitled to disregard everything you say.

00:54:10.960 And you can get this jury instruction in some districts.

00:54:13.180 And it's the same thing with him.

00:54:14.580 You you obviously are a liar. 0.75

00:54:16.380 You're a liar, an actual truth teller.

00:54:19.060 Let me tell you an actual truth teller sounds.

00:54:21.020 Is that your laptop?

00:54:22.340 No, you're sure I'm positive.

00:54:24.560 It's like there's no no one's confused about whether they've lost a laptop that became

00:54:31.620 the source of a massive national news story that became potentially if it had been released

00:54:37.080 a threat to their father's presidential campaign.

00:54:39.460 He's a freaking liar.

00:54:40.940 I don't I really don't know.

00:54:42.240 I don't have any idea.

00:54:43.280 Well, it could be this.

00:54:44.360 It could.

00:54:44.680 But bull bull bull.

00:54:46.300 I know even I you know, it's funny, you know, my father, even my dad just for some again,

00:54:51.320 my dad's just the way his brain works.

00:54:52.840 I'm like, Jesus.

00:54:53.280 And he's like, yeah, well, you know, the first problem is you never trust a guy named

00:54:56.660 Hunter.

00:54:57.140 I'm like, what?

00:54:58.100 What do you what?

00:54:59.140 What does that mean?

00:54:59.700 He goes, he doesn't have a real fucking name.

00:55:01.420 That's not a real name.

00:55:02.340 Like I have a cousin in my family on my father's side.

00:55:05.000 She named her son Mason and my dad like can't get over it.

00:55:09.140 He's like this fucking stupid kid's name.

00:55:11.000 And I even when I said to her, even when I said to my cousin, I'm like, why?

00:55:14.200 Like we come from an old school Italian family in Brooklyn, like Mason and my father.

00:55:18.200 My father just calls him Angelo, to be honest with you.

00:55:20.400 My dad just calls his kid Angelo.

00:55:21.960 He's like, Angelo, have your soup.

00:55:23.820 I'm like, his name's Mason.

00:55:25.380 He's like, Mason, like a fucking jar.

00:55:27.680 I'm like, yeah, like a jar.

00:55:30.220 And so that that's my dad's thing is like, you know, and even my father, my father could

00:55:35.320 vote because he's a felony.

00:55:36.280 But if he could vote, he probably would have voted for Trump.

00:55:38.060 I mean, you know, all my dad when I when the night after the election, the first time I woke

00:55:42.680 up to a text and my dad goes to sleep early, the first text I got from my father when he

00:55:46.820 saw the news is he just text.

00:55:48.280 He goes, hold on to 2024.

00:55:50.460 That's what he said.

00:55:51.360 I said, OK, OK, dad.

00:55:52.860 But because my dad, you know, he can't vote.

00:55:54.460 But he even he is like even he's like this is getting he told me this about social media

00:55:59.840 in 2009.

00:56:01.060 And he, you know, again, my dad has got maybe a seventh grade education, but very streets

00:56:05.840 one sees the world.

00:56:06.560 He said, you know, what's going to be the biggest problem for our country is this Twitter

00:56:09.980 tweeter bullshit. 0.69

00:56:10.840 And I was like, why is that going to be an issue?

00:56:12.880 He goes, because not everyone's supposed to be talking.

00:56:15.280 Most people are just supposed to keep their mouth shut.

00:56:17.100 And you let a few people talk.

00:56:18.500 He's like, but the minute now everybody's running their mouth, he's like, watch, there's

00:56:22.280 going to be big problems in this country because of this.

00:56:24.480 And to be honest with you, he's kind of right.

00:56:27.280 Like now it's like everybody is, quote unquote, galvanized by bullshit.

00:56:32.280 And it's like because here's the thing.

00:56:33.860 Most people don't want to read the book.

00:56:35.540 Most people don't want to read a book and learn about, you know, an event in history or

00:56:41.540 or a culture.

00:56:42.760 They don't want to do it.

00:56:43.460 They want to get their information in a 20 second soundbite from TikTok and then go tell

00:56:48.020 the world that they're informed when it's like, no, no, no, the hard work is in reading

00:56:52.320 the books.

00:56:53.020 And I get it.

00:56:53.800 Like, you know, a factory worker in Idaho may not have the time to sit down and read

00:56:58.220 a book like, you know, Sapiens or, you know, or Pride and Prejudice with Thomas Howell.

00:57:02.640 They can't read that.

00:57:03.600 They don't have the time to read that stuff.

00:57:05.560 So so they'll just be like, oh, well, I'm going to say whatever my favorite newscaster

00:57:09.340 says, which whatever, you know, whichever way I lean, you know, Fox News or CNN, whichever

00:57:13.960 way I lean, I'm going to just regurgitate whatever that person told me to regurgitate and then

00:57:18.500 go on in my world really being stupid and not informed, but thinking they're informed.

00:57:22.600 And it's a it's a tricky it's a tricky thing.

00:57:25.100 I think as a country, like we need to just like read more and do the own do our own research.

00:57:30.340 And you can't be afraid because, you know, it's like I'm telling you, like at least in

00:57:34.840 my community.

00:57:35.400 And again, not that I need to do this, but like if I tweeted out right now, if I tweeted

00:57:40.500 out like, you know, I I don't think that all I think like if I tweeted out, hey, you

00:57:47.060 know, I am I I think that like, you know, women, you know, only women have uteruses. 1.00

00:57:52.960 I'd be canceled if I said that I would be canceled if I said only women have uteruses. 1.00

00:57:58.420 That's done.

00:57:59.000 But if I tweeted but if I tweeted, you know, Joe Biden is my N word with the with the A,

00:58:05.060 nobody would care.

00:58:06.100 They'd be like, oh, great, because you said Joe Biden.

00:58:08.260 But the other one is so it's just like this bullshit where I'm like, how is I don't I

00:58:12.940 don't think you're allowed to say that at all if you're a white person.

00:58:15.700 No, no, no.

00:58:16.160 That's one of the problems.

00:58:16.980 Like, can I say, honestly, just a small side, but I I'm totally not hip when it comes to

00:58:21.680 music.

00:58:22.160 I love my 70s station on Pandora, 80s, 90s, the 2000s.

00:58:26.560 I love all that stuff.

00:58:27.700 When you get into president music, I'm I'm like one of those crotchety old guys with the

00:58:31.540 nose hair like I don't understand it.

00:58:33.760 It doesn't have a melody.

00:58:34.900 I've become that person.

00:58:35.800 So I do make an effort here or there to try to just like tune in to like today's hits

00:58:41.700 on Spotify or Pandora.

00:58:43.340 Sure, sure, sure.

00:58:44.260 And like, it's just, you know, listen to it.

00:58:45.920 Right.

00:58:46.100 For my kids sake, they need to hear some modern day music.

00:58:49.400 And I was sitting there yesterday with my daughter.

00:58:51.800 We're baking some Easter cookies a little late, but we did it anyway.

00:58:56.380 And every other word in the in the in today's hits was the N word.

00:59:02.540 I'm like, oh, my God, it's like F and N word.

00:59:05.160 The F and N word.

00:59:06.020 And my daughter's eyes were like the size of silver dollars.

00:59:08.640 I'm like, you know, pause, pause, pause, back to the 70s.

00:59:13.960 You never heard that in the 70s music, but you can't avoid it.

00:59:17.080 Anyway, there is a double standard that you're not that I want to say that word, but I wish

00:59:21.960 people would just stop saying it.

00:59:23.760 Yeah, I would never.

00:59:24.580 Yeah, I was I was just using like an extreme example.

00:59:26.940 Obviously, I would never tweet that.

00:59:27.900 And that's not, you know, and also to like, you know, I'm not I know, like we've been

00:59:31.600 saying like, oh, tough guy, like, you know, I talk a tough game, but I'm not tough.

00:59:35.220 I mean, you know, I have a psoriasis outbreak right now.

00:59:37.280 Like I have rashes and creams like, you know, I use I'm like antihistamines, you know, people

00:59:42.020 like let's do coke.

00:59:42.880 I'm like, how about flonase?

00:59:44.280 Like, so I just talk tough, but I'm really I'm really, you know, not tough.

00:59:48.000 My father, my father and family members are like very tough.

00:59:52.020 But why did your dad go to prison?

00:59:54.440 It was one of those things where it was like, I think it was like, it's one of those things

00:59:59.440 where he never really talked to me about it.

01:00:01.340 I never really wanted to ask.

01:00:02.300 I kind of don't care, you know, because I'm like, oh, my dad's just a great guy.

01:00:04.780 But I think it was like, you know, racketeering and like crimes like, you know, like organized

01:00:10.540 crime issue, you know, bookie stuff like illegal gambling, things like that.

01:00:14.280 Oh, it was never anything.

01:00:15.300 How old were you when he went away?

01:00:17.540 Oh, well, my dad went to prison.

01:00:18.940 I think I was like I was like five years old.

01:00:20.660 I was a little kid.

01:00:21.380 And then he and then a lot of it happened to before I was I was born.

01:00:26.460 But it's one of those things where like my dad, when it just you know, he would be away

01:00:30.860 for a little bit and then he'd come back and everything was fine.

01:00:33.740 Like, I got to be honest with you.

01:00:35.180 My father never missed a game of mine, never missed a huge event of mine.

01:00:40.820 He was like everybody loved him.

01:00:42.940 Like he everybody I mean, he's still alive.

01:00:45.200 Everybody loves him.

01:00:46.100 It's like because my dad is one of those guys where if you took my dad on paper, you would

01:00:51.000 be like canceled, canceled, canceled, canceled like in this world.

01:00:53.980 But he's really his part for like the example I like to use where I was like, oh, like when

01:01:00.060 Hurricane Sandy happened in 2012 and like, you know, wrecked the East Coast, whatever

01:01:05.480 Staten Island, where my father lives, got like ransacked.

01:01:08.800 And my dad lives a little bit inland.

01:01:10.540 But the coastal communities, which are mostly Latino communities, were destroyed, like bungalows, 1.00

01:01:15.420 small bungalow housing was like destroyed by the hurricane.

01:01:18.780 And a lot of people weren't really going to help them on Staten Island.

01:01:22.600 My father every day rented a U-Haul truck, would go down, help those families get their

01:01:27.160 belongings into the U-Haul truck, bring it to a place that was dry and, you know, a shelter

01:01:31.840 or whatever, and it helps help them settle in.

01:01:33.800 And as through the course of him going down there, he met this one family, house was destroyed.

01:01:37.960 He brought them in and they lived with my father for two weeks.

01:01:41.140 He would take drive the kids to school, make sure that the wife. 1.00

01:01:44.800 But throughout the course of it, you know, my like the father of the family, his name

01:01:49.060 was Jose.

01:01:49.560 My dad would just call him Juan.

01:01:51.200 You know, the family would come in.

01:01:52.800 He'd be like, oh, hide the good silverware, like old school dad jokes.

01:01:56.020 We're like, shut up, you know, so like, so like, but and you know, some some like, you 0.98

01:02:01.380 know, young, woke kid would try to cancel my father for that.

01:02:04.900 But it's like the actions and my dad's intentions were my dad was taking his actions spoke way

01:02:09.760 louder than his words.

01:02:10.660 And that's what we should care about, where like, you know, these people, like I said

01:02:15.560 earlier in the show, these people now it's all about their words when really their actions

01:02:19.520 are doing nothing.

01:02:20.180 It's like they're very loud on Twitter, but they don't do a damn thing to help the

01:02:23.880 community they're supposedly advocating for.

01:02:26.200 They don't do anything for them.

01:02:27.540 They just tweet all their bullshit out.

01:02:29.160 So it's like, I'd rather get out there and physically help somebody make a difference.

01:02:33.900 No, it's like like MLB moving the game out of a community that's largely black.

01:02:37.620 And that would have really benefited the black business owners.

01:02:39.660 But oh, no, I get to virtue signal.

01:02:41.700 You know, your story reminded me of an old colleague of mine, a woman.

01:02:46.160 She's she's married to a guy who was, quote, away.

01:02:49.960 And, you know, allegedly, allegedly mafia connected, allegedly.

01:02:54.160 And she was telling me about one time when he was away, he called her from prison and he

01:02:58.720 was like, have you ever seen that movie, The Notebook?

01:03:02.140 He's like, you need to watch that movie.

01:03:03.660 They show that here tonight.

01:03:04.580 He goes, you see how much he loves her.

01:03:06.160 That's how much I love you.

01:03:07.540 I love you like that guy loves her.

01:03:09.240 I'm like, this is the sweetest story.

01:03:12.300 I know.

01:03:13.220 I know.

01:03:13.580 I know my dad, like, you know, like I remember I remember, you know, being a teenager and

01:03:19.800 my my parents got divorced.

01:03:21.560 My parents got divorced when I was like one, like my mother, you know, like college educated.

01:03:25.660 And then my dad was a criminal.

01:03:26.800 So they got divorced like immediately.

01:03:28.580 But but my again, my dad always, always in my life, never missed anything, was always

01:03:32.680 there.

01:03:32.860 And I remember my mom started dating this guy and then they broke up and then this guy

01:03:39.300 started dating a woman who lived directly across the street from where me and my mother

01:03:43.500 live.

01:03:43.740 So my mother was so devastated and going through this breakup.

01:03:46.360 She would sit down, like pull a chair up, up to the second floor window where we lived

01:03:50.680 and look out across the street to like see if this guy was going in and out of, you know,

01:03:55.480 this new woman's house.

01:03:56.500 It was like destroying my mother.

01:03:57.560 My mother would like sit and cry and all that stuff. 1.00

01:03:59.880 And then and then my dad come over, came over one day to take me to like baseball practice

01:04:04.160 or something.

01:04:04.620 And he sees my mother crying and I'm like 15 years old and he comes in, he goes, he goes,

01:04:09.580 what's what's going on with your mother?

01:04:10.680 What's she crying about?

01:04:11.540 I'm like, yeah, I remember that guy.

01:04:12.700 She was dating John or whatever.

01:04:14.360 I'm like, he dumped her and now he's dating a woman across the street.

01:04:17.120 And he was like, you're going to do something about that?

01:04:19.180 I was like, I'm 15 years old.

01:04:20.480 I have eczema.

01:04:21.320 What am I going to do about I'm literally an asthmatic 15 year old with allergies and

01:04:26.540 sinusitis.

01:04:27.140 Like, what am I going to do?

01:04:28.200 And he goes, listen, I'll be right back.

01:04:30.160 Do me a favor.

01:04:30.820 Don't come outside.

01:04:31.860 So I was like, oh, shit.

01:04:33.080 Well, now I'm definitely going to come outside because, you know, what is my dad going to

01:04:36.820 do?

01:04:37.160 So, you know, again, my father authority figure, I kind of at first was like just by the top

01:04:41.440 of the stairs, like being like, ah, maybe I shouldn't go outside.

01:04:44.060 And then I hear my mother screaming from the top window.

01:04:47.360 Oh, my God, Tony, please stop.

01:04:48.940 You're going to kill him.

01:04:49.580 You're going to kill him.

01:04:50.220 My dad went across the street, rang the bell, got this guy out of the house and started

01:04:55.380 beating the shit out of him.

01:04:56.780 And I run downstairs.

01:04:58.400 I'm now standing on my outside stoop.

01:05:00.760 My dad is walking back with like blood on his shirt.

01:05:03.080 It looked like Ray Liotta from Goodfellas when he's like, I'm Karen.

01:05:06.620 I'm like, I'm Karen.

01:05:07.940 What do I do?

01:05:08.700 I didn't know.

01:05:09.340 I didn't know what to do.

01:05:10.640 And then my dad goes, he goes, that was your job.

01:05:13.260 I'm like, what?

01:05:14.140 You want me to beat up a grown man?

01:05:16.040 And then my dad and then so and then it's always with my father.

01:05:19.780 The way I describe him is right intention, wrong move.

01:05:22.780 So my dad's intention was protect your mother at all costs, you know, and then but the move

01:05:27.720 was let's beat up another grown man in front of my son. 0.93

01:05:31.100 And then, you know, we're sitting in traffic on the Verrazano Bridge going back to Staten

01:05:34.460 Island, you know, four hours later.

01:05:35.700 And he goes, you know, what I did back there was the wrong move.

01:05:38.660 Right.

01:05:38.860 I'm like, yeah, no, I know.

01:05:40.120 Mom knows the police now.

01:05:41.620 We all know that that was a stupid thing to beat someone up.

01:05:44.580 He's like, well, what I was trying to prove to you is that you're the man of the house

01:05:47.740 now.

01:05:48.040 And when your mother's out there crying, you go console her and talk to her.

01:05:51.500 Don't be in your room playing video games like a little jerk off.

01:05:54.260 And I was like, oh, OK, so you could have just told me to do that.

01:05:57.740 You could have just turned off the video game system and told me to come for my mom.

01:06:01.180 You need to you need to beat up her ex-boyfriend.

01:06:03.240 Yeah, but that story you wouldn't be telling all these years later.

01:06:06.780 I mean, it's like this disturbing, sweet story.

01:06:10.600 Right.

01:06:10.820 It's like a lovely like I get it.

01:06:14.000 And I'm sure the guy was fine.

01:06:15.060 But I I was thinking about the scene in Goodfellas where with Karen's voiceover says, I got to

01:06:20.480 admit the truth.

01:06:21.320 It turned me on.

01:06:22.560 You know, like there's something about it.

01:06:25.200 I know I realize it's sexist and in this case, criminal.

01:06:27.740 But there is something nice about feeling protected by by a man, by your man, by your

01:06:35.420 son, by your by your spouse.

01:06:38.300 Of course, that's all being shamed now, too.

01:06:41.320 Right.

01:06:41.460 We're supposed to only protect ourselves.

01:06:43.040 And it's fine.

01:06:43.980 I happen to believe you can be the cousin who shoves the criminal out of the window and

01:06:47.540 breaks both of his arms and still want your door open for you and still want your man

01:06:51.440 to stand up for you if somebody gets in your face.

01:06:53.440 Oh, yeah.

01:06:53.720 No, no, no.

01:06:54.080 Look, that's it.

01:06:55.080 First of all, yeah.

01:06:55.720 Like, you know, you say like, oh, like, you know, like with these stories are like my

01:06:59.760 my comedy.

01:07:00.400 I had no intention to do comedy.

01:07:01.900 I genuinely got the first idea to start doing comedy from my therapist.

01:07:05.280 I was telling these stories to my therapist.

01:07:06.640 He's like, this shit's pretty funny.

01:07:07.800 Like you're scarred for life.

01:07:08.900 But it's like this is actually like you went through severe trauma, like emotionally.

01:07:13.340 But it's he's like, I got to be honest.

01:07:14.820 It's funny stuff, Chris.

01:07:16.320 And then I got and then I got the idea for stand up.

01:07:19.080 But oh, yeah, no, I think people want to just kind of take one little thing about you

01:07:25.060 and then make that, you know, that's all that's who you are as a person.

01:07:28.240 That's you know, they want to take like me, my 36 years of life and boil it down to one

01:07:32.600 tweet or one thing.

01:07:34.000 I totally agree with you, Megan.

01:07:35.580 You could be both like even me.

01:07:36.920 I was interviewing, you know, my my I was interviewing my wife's transgender uncle who was in prison

01:07:45.380 for 25 years talking about being pro trans and being open and equality for all while wearing

01:07:51.300 a Blue Lives Matter T-shirt because a lot of my friends and family are cops like my family.

01:07:55.800 It's either cops or criminals.

01:07:56.960 You know what I mean?

01:07:57.760 So I'm like, I can I can support both things.

01:08:01.180 You know what I mean?

01:08:01.900 Like, I'm a fan of you, but I voted for Trump.

01:08:03.740 It's the same.

01:08:04.600 Just it's OK.

01:08:05.740 Like we can love everybody.

01:08:07.020 You know what I mean?

01:08:07.600 And by the way, even me just saying that as a joke, the Trump thing that that saying that

01:08:11.680 in the comedy world, that's like literally I mean, you're like, I cannot believe you're

01:08:17.760 even kidding about that.

01:08:19.340 Like, that's how crazy the world is where I'm like, can I just say whatever?

01:08:23.580 I thought like we had free speech in this country.

01:08:25.380 I thought the point of a democracy was we can all have discourse.

01:08:28.920 But it feels like another issue with the country is we can't even have the discourse.

01:08:32.720 Like if I even try to go on a public forum and try to figure out something about another

01:08:38.680 culture or sex, you know, a group like a group or like you try to let's say transgender,

01:08:44.560 like try to ask questions about it that may not be informed as even me asking the questions.

01:08:48.480 It's like, fuck you.

01:08:49.500 You're canceled for even attempting to be better.

01:08:51.740 That's right.

01:08:52.000 That's oh, no.

01:08:52.500 You know what they say?

01:08:53.620 You know what they say?

01:08:54.680 Do the work.

01:08:55.900 Do the work.

01:08:56.340 Well, isn't the work asking questions and getting to know my fellow human beings?

01:09:00.280 So now that no, like read it in some book.

01:09:02.580 Well, what book should I read?

01:09:03.700 Ibram X.

01:09:04.180 Kendi?

01:09:04.480 Because I don't believe that guy.

01:09:05.560 I think he's he's a hustler.

01:09:07.180 This is guy.

01:09:07.760 This guy's not telling us the truth.

01:09:09.080 So what book should I read?

01:09:10.320 What's your favorite?

01:09:11.060 You know, like, oh, Robin DiAngelo.

01:09:12.340 Well, the black people I know, like Chloe Valdry, tell me that woman's all wrong. 1.00

01:09:16.800 And by the way, Chloe's black and Robin's white.

01:09:19.020 So I'm not going to read her book to find out about how I should treat black people.

01:09:22.240 Anyway, it's it's all about doing the work.

01:09:24.700 So they have killed conversation.

01:09:26.340 And the other thing is, of course, no one is leading this pristine, perfect life.

01:09:33.360 We all have hard questions that we ask about gender, about religion, about race.

01:09:38.900 No one has this perfectly understood and worked out so that their their conscience is 100 percent

01:09:45.100 clear.

01:09:45.740 And St. Peter will be rolling out the red carpet when we eventually get up there because

01:09:49.600 we lived the perfect life.

01:09:51.960 We did it.

01:09:52.640 And even the wokesters who are trying to pretend that one never makes a mistake, what they're

01:09:56.920 doing to others is sinful.

01:09:58.360 You know, it's sinful and unforgiving.

01:09:59.960 So it's like there is no winning that game.

01:10:02.300 The only way forward in life is to understand everyone's got everyone's got psoriasis.

01:10:07.500 You know, it's like it takes a different form.

01:10:09.880 Exactly.

01:10:10.340 We all got psoriasis.

01:10:11.420 And that's what I'm saying.

01:10:12.340 Like, even like, you know, like with the pulling down of like the statues, I get it.

01:10:16.960 I get like, you know, Confederate stuff.

01:10:18.920 I get the South.

01:10:19.540 Like for them, it's like they just they lost the war.

01:10:21.420 So it's like we don't celebrate losers here.

01:10:23.040 That that's how I think about it.

01:10:24.320 But like everything else, like with history, it's like you have to understand where you

01:10:28.360 came from to know how to be better.

01:10:30.380 And like you said, you go back in history.

01:10:32.840 Everybody did something.

01:10:34.500 The world has changed so much, like even movies from 10 years ago.

01:10:39.440 Like some of the some of the words they were using is like you can't even make a movie.

01:10:43.740 So think about just how much the world's changed in 10 years.

01:10:46.700 I mean, imagine going back 200 years.

01:10:48.520 And again, people just being misinformed.

01:10:50.780 Like, again, I love history.

01:10:51.940 I'm a big fan of history.

01:10:52.840 I remember when they were trying to pull down the Ulysses S.

01:10:55.600 Grant statues because they were like, oh, he was anti-Semitic.

01:10:58.740 It's like he admits in his in his biography.

01:11:01.340 Well, you know, the Mark Twain thing that that they wrote for Ulysses S.

01:11:04.000 Grant that, yes, in the beginning, he had a negative opinion of Jewish people because

01:11:07.580 they had, you know, in his father's business had swindled him out of money.

01:11:11.600 And he was making, you know, he was, you know, taking his personal experience and making

01:11:15.280 it the norm for everybody.

01:11:16.500 And he realized how wrong that was.

01:11:17.540 And he was the only member still to this day, president.

01:11:20.580 He has had the most Jewish people in his cabinet and that worked for him during the presidency

01:11:25.780 because he was like, I am sorry I did that.

01:11:28.140 I love Jewish people here.

01:11:29.720 But they but again, people take one little tweet and like, you know, Ulysses S.

01:11:33.220 Grant, bad, anti-Semitic, pull his statues down when actually none of it's true.

01:11:36.840 And like you said, even go, everybody's got a bad thing.

01:11:39.680 It's like, look, dude, like, what do you want?

01:11:41.180 Martin Luther King did amazing things for us as a people, but he also used to beat the

01:11:45.220 shit out of his wife. 0.92

01:11:46.260 Same thing with Gandhi.

01:11:47.320 Gandhi was a great person, did so much.

01:11:49.640 He used to sleep with 15 year old girls.

01:11:51.260 It's like, what do you want me to tell you?

01:11:52.360 The facts are the facts.

01:11:53.400 Like, you know, not everybody's 100 percent all good and not everybody's 100 percent all

01:11:57.280 bad.

01:11:58.620 Only now is that even considered as as a standard that people are supposed to live out to.

01:12:03.620 And most sane people have totally rejected it.

01:12:06.140 So wait, I want to ask you something, though, because now you have a diverse child, right?

01:12:11.280 You've married a Puerto Rican woman.

01:12:12.780 So is that Latinx, right?

01:12:15.260 Is she?

01:12:15.560 Yes.

01:12:16.320 Which, by the way, she hates that.

01:12:17.940 No, she's like, why?

01:12:18.740 Of course she does, because she's sane.

01:12:20.540 Yeah.

01:12:20.720 She's like, what is Latinx?

01:12:21.900 She's like, just call me.

01:12:23.020 I'm Puerto Rican.

01:12:23.640 My name's Jasmine.

01:12:24.360 She always says, like, that's that white people shit with the Latinx.

01:12:28.400 She was like, she was like, she like rolls her eyes at this stuff all the time.

01:12:32.800 She's like, I love how these white people are telling me my struggles, you know, like

01:12:36.400 she's always she's always saying that.

01:12:38.320 And and I got to be honest with you, especially being in entertainment.

01:12:40.840 I mean, you want to talk about it, get a jail free card.

01:12:43.460 I mean, these social justice warriors, like if they're like, what do you know?

01:12:46.440 You know, what do you know, you straight white male piece of shit?

01:12:49.040 I'm like, have you met my Puerto Rican daughter, Julissa?

01:12:51.120 She comes running out doing Zumba.

01:12:53.180 They're like, oh, my God, I didn't know you were like a champion of diversity.

01:12:56.020 Like, we love you.

01:12:57.140 I'm like, you're fucking fake, dude.

01:12:58.560 You're all fake, you know, so it's like, yeah, it's like.

01:13:02.340 So do you think is listening to you talk about your dad?

01:13:04.940 And I've heard you tell the stories about Jazzy, which is what Jazzy goes by.

01:13:09.500 Yes.

01:13:10.060 I feel like in some ways you married your dad.

01:13:12.020 Not that Jazzy's a criminal law, but she's tough. 0.93

01:13:13.980 She's tough.

01:13:14.440 She doesn't give you a pass. 0.98

01:13:15.660 She's on you for any any suspected bad behavior.

01:13:18.780 That's for sure.

01:13:19.680 And I'm like, you know, this is yet another example of how I've said this before, but it's

01:13:23.560 true.

01:13:23.740 So some of these smart psychiatrists who study relationships say you wind up marrying somebody

01:13:28.260 who has both the best and worst qualities of your parents.

01:13:32.260 Right.

01:13:32.540 So it's no it's no accident you married somebody tough.

01:13:36.040 No, it's no accident.

01:13:36.760 And it's even the way my life turned out, you know, because my mom and dad, they got

01:13:41.360 very they got together very quickly.

01:13:43.500 They met at a walkathon.

01:13:44.820 This is true.

01:13:45.260 My mother was walking the walkathon and raising money for cancer because my mom's just like 1.00

01:13:48.980 a very good person and forward thinking person.

01:13:51.160 And my father was doing community service on the side of the walkathon.

01:13:54.840 That's a true story.

01:13:55.680 I was going to joke about that.

01:13:56.900 That's true.

01:13:57.480 I was going to say he was there picking up the garbage on the sidewalk.

01:13:59.760 It's a real thing.

01:14:00.980 No, let's see.

01:14:01.340 He was like allegedly flirting with her, pinching her butt with the garbage pickup thong, you 0.98

01:14:05.160 know, prong things.

01:14:06.220 And so and so and my mom just wanted to have a fling with a bad boy. 0.97

01:14:09.860 And then, you know, they that happens.

01:14:11.940 They have me very quickly, you know, shotgun wedding.

01:14:14.560 And then it's over quick.

01:14:15.500 And my mother's whole thing as I was growing up was, you know, you're going to go to school.

01:14:18.860 You're going to pronounce your R's. 0.93

01:14:20.460 You're not going to sound like a thug, like your father, like all that stuff.

01:14:23.700 And you're going to fall in love with a woman and you're going to have a baby that, you know,

01:14:27.880 you're going to do it the right way, not the way I did.

01:14:30.380 And that's all I heard.

01:14:31.140 And, you know, for the most part, I did.

01:14:32.740 I went to school.

01:14:33.480 I went to graduate school, never got in any trouble, you know, pursued my passions.

01:14:37.300 Like my mother was always proud of me.

01:14:39.220 And then fast forward, I'm 30 years old, go to a bar, this bar in Coney Island, Brooklyn

01:14:44.140 called Place to Beach, which is not like a hipster place.

01:14:46.360 This is like old school New Yorkers. 0.91

01:14:48.500 You know what I mean?

01:14:49.040 This is not gentrified.

01:14:50.080 This is not like a woke bar.

01:14:51.400 This is just like this is where old school New York City goes.

01:14:53.900 You know, I'm Italian or so I thought, you know, six years ago, you know, Jasmine Puerto

01:15:00.160 Rican. 0.74

01:15:00.720 And it's like West Side Story.

01:15:01.820 It's like the Italians and the Puerto Ricans like we mate, you know, and I saw her. 0.77

01:15:05.380 I saw her, you know, dancing in the club and I was like, this is my future right here.

01:15:09.560 We go on one date, you know, have sex.

01:15:13.180 Nine months later, we have the baby.

01:15:14.580 So the exact thing that my mother did that was trying to make me not do, I did.

01:15:18.760 So it's like the apple just never falls far from the tree.

01:15:21.720 It's like you are your parents' children.

01:15:24.160 No matter what my mother tried to do to prevent me from doing what she did, I did it anyway.

01:15:30.740 And it's just fate.

01:15:32.160 And I don't regret any of it.

01:15:33.260 I was just, I'm like, I'm the happiest guy in the world because I have this family and

01:15:37.040 it came very quickly and changed my life very quickly.

01:15:39.520 But I kind of look back at the old me and I'm like, oh, wow, I don't like that guy as

01:15:42.980 much as I like this guy now who's like a father.

01:15:46.040 And, you know, I've now had to try, you know, because that's the thing.

01:15:49.040 When you have a child with someone after the first date, like a lot of these like red flags

01:15:54.980 that you could run for the hills for if this was another relationship, you got to find

01:15:58.440 ways how to get around that.

01:16:00.140 And you got to find ways how to sit there and figure out your problems for your children.

01:16:03.980 So I feel like it's made me a better, a better person.

01:16:07.400 So my advice is get out there, have unplanned pregnancies with people you don't know.

01:16:10.880 It's the best you'll wind up on the Megyn Kelly show.

01:16:13.180 And that's the best thing that can happen.

01:16:14.260 Does she she seems like a very confident woman.

01:16:19.080 She I've seen her exercise videos online.

01:16:20.820 She's an instructor. 0.98

01:16:21.720 But does she ever have any insecurity at you being, you know, kind of famous and being

01:16:28.500 out there on stage, which can be an aphrodisiac for women in the audience? 1.00

01:16:32.040 Does she worry about you in that?

01:16:34.000 She I think she does.

01:16:35.140 But here's the thing is like any time a girl DMs me, it's almost like I'm like, hey, I

01:16:39.960 appreciate, you know, you sending me a picture of yourself unsolicited, half naked.

01:16:44.340 But it's really not me.

01:16:45.360 You need to worry about if Jasmine sees this shit, you're fucking done.

01:16:48.980 I'm like, so just for your own protection, I'm going to say, please refrain from doing

01:16:53.360 this because I'm just I'm trying to protect you from Jazzy because yeah.

01:16:58.380 So and and kind of but you know what, to be honest with you, she's confident in her own

01:17:02.000 right because she's very much like, go ahead, go, go, go see what that bitch could do for 1.00

01:17:05.640 you.

01:17:05.960 She's like, go, go see what that bitch could do. 1.00

01:17:09.140 Go see, go see if she could take care of the house. 1.00

01:17:12.020 She could cook for you. 1.00

01:17:13.220 She could stay up all night.

01:17:14.680 You know, she could put your eczema cream on your back. 1.00

01:17:16.740 She's like, go see what these bitches are going to do. 1.00

01:17:18.660 She's like, no, I'm going to do what I'm going to do.

01:17:20.700 Yeah.

01:17:21.200 She's like, I'm doing all that shit for you.

01:17:23.400 So go ahead, go.

01:17:24.740 And that's the thing what I've learned with her is like we can get into like a huge fight about

01:17:28.520 like bullshit. 0.58

01:17:29.040 And then 20 minutes later, everything's fine.

01:17:31.480 She's like, OK, what do you want?

01:17:32.520 What do you want to eat?

01:17:33.480 Well, what do you want to eat?

01:17:34.280 I'm going to make you want eggs. 0.79

01:17:35.300 What do you want to eat?

01:17:35.880 So it's like very quickly, like she's very quickly.

01:17:39.280 It's like whatever fight we're having, it's like just taken care of immediately.

01:17:43.220 She doesn't she's a real person like that's that's what I like.

01:17:45.960 Like a lot of these people nowadays are like passive aggressive.

01:17:49.560 Well, Jasmine's aggressive, aggressive. 1.00

01:17:50.940 And I like that.

01:17:51.860 She's very much like like the one story that I tell again, all true.

01:17:55.300 I was like, holy shit, is we were in an elevator.

01:17:58.520 We lived in this, you know, building in Park Slope, which if you're not familiar with the

01:18:03.320 New York area, Park Slope is very gentrified, very like, you know, like they're just walking

01:18:08.700 bags of quinoa.

01:18:09.780 They are they are just very woke.

01:18:11.880 And they're like, yes, like let us get out there and protest.

01:18:15.240 Like they are just like that.

01:18:16.560 And so so and those people like they bark there.

01:18:19.480 They usually say stuff to people and they all they usually get is that that person bowing

01:18:24.400 down to them back, I'm so sorry for offending while this lady got into the wrong elevator 1.00

01:18:28.360 one day because it was me, Jasmine and our daughter, who's, you know, who at the time

01:18:33.560 was like 15 months old, 16 months old, and she still had a pacifier in her mouth. 1.00

01:18:38.440 And some people would say, oh, that's a little late for a pacifier.

01:18:40.940 But even if you felt that, it's like, dude, if I grew up in New York City and I keep my

01:18:44.540 mouth shut, if I saw a 15 year old kid in a stroller with a pacifier, I wouldn't say

01:18:48.280 anything.

01:18:48.660 I'd be like, all right.

01:18:49.760 Yeah, he probably did.

01:18:50.720 You know, he's probably in a K hole or something. 1.00

01:18:52.260 And he probably was on Quaaludes last night and he's just having a bad trip.

01:18:55.120 Like, I would never say a word.

01:18:56.540 But but this woman gets in this like, you know, woke Wendy. 1.00

01:19:00.060 She gets in.

01:19:00.660 She's probably like, you know, a professor at 17 universities and just like sponsored 0.93

01:19:04.560 by fucking Whole Foods. 0.96

01:19:06.000 And she she gets in.

01:19:07.560 She gets into this elevator and she's looking and she looks at Jazz.

01:19:10.840 She looks at me and she looks at our daughter and I can tell she looks at the pacifier and

01:19:14.840 it's got like that disdain on her face.

01:19:17.080 So I'm like, oh, shit.

01:19:18.060 And Jazz, I can see the smoke coming out of Jasmine's ear.

01:19:21.000 So I'm like, so I'm trying to rub her, you know, rub her back.

01:19:24.100 Jasmine's back.

01:19:24.700 I'm trying to like, you know, speak to her calmly.

01:19:27.060 You know, I'm just like, please, like we're on the 11th floor.

01:19:29.760 Let's just get to the lobby.

01:19:30.720 We're going to have a picnic.

01:19:32.180 Everything's going to be fine.

01:19:33.240 Like, let's just get out of here.

01:19:34.140 I'm like, please, dear God, do not let this woman say anything in this elevator. 1.00

01:19:37.580 So the floors, the floors are going down one by one by one.

01:19:42.280 And then she turns around at like the seventh floor and she's like, can I just ask you a

01:19:47.020 question and I just say, I say, please, lady, if you want to turn around and look at the

01:19:50.800 wall, that would be better for everybody.

01:19:52.540 I just want to get to the lobby.

01:19:54.080 So now and two things happen now.

01:19:55.780 Now I know, number one, I'm trying to prevent the problem.

01:19:58.320 But two, I've caused a bigger problem for myself because I've just communicated with another

01:20:01.520 woman and you fucking cannot do that. 1.00

01:20:03.480 So now I'm like, you know, now I'm already like, OK, we're going to get off this elevator.

01:20:06.760 She's like, how do you know this bitch? 1.00

01:20:08.020 How do you know this bitch? 1.00

01:20:09.400 And I'm just like, I don't.

01:20:10.600 But anyway, we keep we keep going down.

01:20:12.420 We keep going down.

01:20:12.980 And then finally, Wendy turns around and she goes, I have to say something.

01:20:17.220 She goes, I noticed your child.

01:20:18.360 I swear to God.

01:20:18.960 She goes, I noticed your child has a pacifier.

01:20:21.460 And I just feel like from the research I've done, it's a little late for your child to

01:20:26.060 have a pacifier.

01:20:27.060 And I would really try to focus on removing that pacifier.

01:20:31.520 I literally, Megan, time stood still.

01:20:34.940 Hand to God.

01:20:36.100 Jasmine, you know that emergency break they have in the elevators?

01:20:38.920 She pulls the emergency break.

01:20:40.720 She almost punched it. 0.95

01:20:41.660 Yes, punched the emergency break.

01:20:43.160 Now we're stuck between the third and second floors.

01:20:45.780 We had like even like that little bounce because it stopped so abruptly.

01:20:49.020 Jasmine starts taking out her earrings, which is a bad sign.

01:20:52.360 When a girl starts taking out her earrings, this is a bad sign. 1.00

01:20:55.300 She was like, tell me about all your research and articles, bitch. 1.00

01:20:58.940 I would love to fucking know what you've done.

01:21:02.440 Yes.

01:21:02.880 Oh, my God.

01:21:03.720 And my daughter's there with her pacifier, like also given like a little attitude hand. 0.59

01:21:08.180 And I'm like, holy shit.

01:21:09.520 And I separate them.

01:21:12.040 Finally, like, you know, after a few minutes, I'm literally pushing them apart.

01:21:16.700 And Jasmine's just fucking furious. 1.00

01:21:17.980 And I'm like, oh, my God.

01:21:18.600 Oh, my God.

01:21:19.020 We get down to the elevator, to the lobby.

01:21:20.880 The fire department was there.

01:21:22.440 They were already there.

01:21:23.900 And some firefighter comes up to me.

01:21:25.700 He goes, what happened?

01:21:26.660 Is everyone OK?

01:21:27.420 I said, yeah.

01:21:28.180 You know, she pulled the emergency brake on the elevator.

01:21:30.540 He was like, why?

01:21:31.300 I was like, well, because woke Wendy said that we needed a pacifier.

01:21:36.220 Oh, we should remove the pacifier from our daughter's mouth. 1.00

01:21:38.680 And, you know, it pissed off Jasmine because she's talking to her fucking kid and, you know, 1.00

01:21:42.460 running her mouth about the pacifier.

01:21:43.860 So Jasmine hit the emergency brake on the elevator.

01:21:45.900 And the firefighter was like, you know what?

01:21:47.180 To be honest with you, my wife would have done the same thing.

01:21:49.860 He's like, so he's like, I'm sorry that that happened.

01:21:52.480 And I got a $500 fine, by the way.

01:21:54.680 So all that happened.

01:21:55.540 It's like, yeah, that would say he was like, there's nothing I could do for this.

01:21:58.120 It's like, you know, you pulled an illegal fire alarm, so it's fine.

01:22:00.420 What did the woman, what did woke Wendy say? 0.97

01:22:02.260 What was she, what was her reaction?

01:22:03.700 Oh, you know what woke Wendy said and did?

01:22:05.700 Woke Wendy immediately apologizes. 0.99

01:22:08.480 And she's like, I'm sorry.

01:22:09.300 I was just having like a bad day.

01:22:10.480 I'm very stressed at work.

01:22:11.420 All this excuse, I'm a victim, I'm a victim, excuse, I'm being held down.

01:22:15.300 And just as soon as that elevator opened, just walks out.

01:22:18.160 So we have to talk to the firefighters and clean up this whole mess.

01:22:20.880 But Wendy just walks right out on her cell phone, probably, you know, sending her encounter

01:22:26.060 with an angry person right to the New York Times, and just, you know, taking it out of context.

01:22:31.460 And that's, and that's really, like, when I saw like that happen, I was like, oh, shit,

01:22:36.120 this woman is not used to somebody, you know, having to put your money where your mouth is, 1.00

01:22:40.060 because most people would have just been, would have just been like, oh, would have taken

01:22:43.320 the pacifier out of their child's mouth to be like, you're right.

01:22:46.560 Now, now I understand why you said, I heard you say something like that, the feds need

01:22:51.340 Puerto Rican women to go undercover for them and help root out ISIS, like, oh, yes, missing 1.00

01:22:55.860 a huge opportunity.

01:22:57.240 Yes, yes, I know.

01:22:58.720 And it's just like, and even that even that was like jokes like that.

01:23:01.740 So like I told you, like, you know, Puerto Rican family, like, you know, immersed, I feel

01:23:05.420 like in the Puerto Rican culture, I tweeted something out.

01:23:07.720 This is a, you know, a month or two ago, and people were like, oh, my God, you're racist.

01:23:11.760 I tweeted out.

01:23:12.680 I said, listen, if President Biden, I said, if I was President Biden, the first thing I

01:23:17.420 do, day one of the first day of my presidency is I would make AOC the head of the CIA, because

01:23:23.820 nobody looks through phones like Puerto Rican women. 1.00

01:23:26.020 That's, you know, and then people tweeting at me, you're racist.

01:23:29.300 And then somebody tweeted at me, how could, you've probably never even met a Puerto Rican

01:23:32.780 person.

01:23:33.140 I'm like, never met a Puerto Rican person.

01:23:34.640 My kid's hitting me in the head with empanadas.

01:23:37.100 You know, once a week, I have to eat fucking Abuelita's mystery meat, which doesn't do well

01:23:41.960 with my white guy GI system.

01:23:44.060 And I fart and my whole family has to get on their hands and knees and look for my asshole

01:23:47.620 because it blew off.

01:23:48.780 It's like, yeah, that person that tweeted at me probably has never met a Puerto Rican

01:23:52.780 person.

01:23:53.160 They're probably just some white, you know, extremely liberal person that lives in the

01:23:57.040 fucking mountains in Nebraska, which there's no mountains there. 0.88

01:23:59.200 So I sound like an idiot, but just lives somewhere in Nebraska and just never met anyone

01:24:04.240 that doesn't look exactly like them.

01:24:05.420 But they're telling me, I don't know Puerto Rican people.

01:24:07.500 It's bullshit.

01:24:08.920 Right.

01:24:09.300 I not only do I know them, I made one.

01:24:11.100 Exactly.

01:24:12.280 It's like, it's like racist.

01:24:13.460 What do you, what are you doing for, for, you know, the, the Latino community?

01:24:17.060 I'm making more Puerto Rican people.

01:24:18.640 That's how not racist I am.

01:24:20.020 Okay.

01:24:24.600 That's commitment.

01:24:27.200 I'm starting to understand, um, what do you call it?

01:24:30.100 Anxiety Tuesdays?

01:24:31.560 Yes.

01:24:32.120 Yes.

01:24:32.480 Anxiety Tuesdays.

01:24:33.060 Because on your podcast, that's, that's a thing.

01:24:36.200 Right.

01:24:36.860 But so is it about your psoriasis and your anxiety and your, you know, all the issues

01:24:42.100 you've been describing?

01:24:43.440 Yeah.

01:24:43.980 Well, Anxiety Tuesday started actually when I really had like bad anxiety.

01:24:50.000 But, you know, talking about all this stuff, like with narcissism and this, like, you know,

01:24:54.860 kind of, you know, thing I started looking at with society, I kind of looked in the mirror.

01:24:59.560 I'm not kind of, I did look in the mirror and I kind of equated my anxiety to narcissism.

01:25:04.280 And I got to be honest with you.

01:25:05.360 I'm very, I'm way less of an anxious person today than I was a few years ago because I

01:25:11.940 realized like, Hey man, like my worrying about, Oh, I'm going to die.

01:25:15.500 Is that a problem?

01:25:16.280 Is this a problem?

01:25:16.900 That's all like me, me, me, me, me.

01:25:18.860 When it's like, yo, I got a family.

01:25:20.320 I'm trying to like help run a family here.

01:25:22.460 I got kids.

01:25:23.400 Like I need my energy.

01:25:25.040 I only have a finite amount of energy each day.

01:25:27.400 Like as we go, as I, especially as I get older, I don't want to use it and being nervous

01:25:31.760 that I'm going to die of a heart attack.

01:25:33.120 It's like, it's, that's going to happen.

01:25:34.140 That's going to happen.

01:25:34.920 Like just eat less bacon, dude.

01:25:36.420 Like I want the energy to push my kid in a swing and be present for her.

01:25:40.980 So I started doing those anxiety Tuesdays as an outlet for me to be like, Hey, this is

01:25:44.840 all my anxiety that I'm having, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:25:47.280 And now the more recent ones that I do are kind of just, I still do them as anxiety Tuesdays.

01:25:52.240 And I think, you know, I'll never, none of us will ever be perfect.

01:25:55.640 We're all like, you know, works in progress, but I have, I feel like, you know, even though

01:26:01.600 like the anxiety I struggle with now is just normal anxiety that anybody, you know, may

01:26:06.580 feel, but for the most part, I don't really deal with the anxiety and the, and the new

01:26:10.800 anxiety Tuesdays is really kind of just a kind of like my outlook on what's going on in society

01:26:16.480 and kind of like, Oh, I have anxiety about, you know, the world, my daughter's going to

01:26:20.360 step into where in the beginning it was like, Hey, I'm going to die.

01:26:22.880 I have, you know, I have a tumor on my little toe and I'm going to die and blah, blah, blah.

01:26:26.140 But now it's more like, now it's more like, you know, I think like, you know, here's the

01:26:30.800 hypocrisy that I'm seeing and it's giving me anxiety.

01:26:33.620 And, you know, you know, maybe it'll give you anxiety too.

01:26:37.800 You know, um, my, my husband loves, he's a writer and he loves Ernest Hemingway, like

01:26:42.980 all writers do.

01:26:44.120 And, um, PBS this week is doing a documentary series on him Monday to Tuesday and Wednesday,

01:26:49.800 8 PM.

01:26:50.300 And it's also available online if you missed it.

01:26:52.480 But anyway, we, we were watching it the other night and it was talking about this letter.

01:26:55.820 It has great, great quotes from not, not his books necessarily, but, um, letters that he

01:27:01.340 wrote, you know, back in the day he was born in 1899.

01:27:03.840 So it's like, everybody wrote letters and it was a great era.

01:27:06.760 And he was talking about how his, his family shouldn't feel sorry for him if he died in

01:27:12.000 world war one, because he's like the guys who have it, who die, have it, have it easy.

01:27:17.100 Don't feel bad for me if I die.

01:27:18.280 It's the, it's the parents, it's the families.

01:27:20.300 It's like, he's like, I've seen enough death to know that you shouldn't feel sorry for the

01:27:24.580 one who goes.

01:27:25.740 And it was just sort of an interesting way of thinking about war and our own mortality.

01:27:29.980 And there is some truth to it.

01:27:31.580 You know, the people who suffer the most are the people who live on, which doesn't make 1.00

01:27:35.960 you feel any better when you're a parent.

01:27:37.420 That's for sure.

01:27:38.780 Um, but I do think for most people, death comes hopefully rather quickly in the grand scheme

01:27:43.600 of things and, um, with modern medicine, unless it's a hideous accident, you can generally

01:27:48.080 make it somewhat painless in a lot of instances that used to be very painful.

01:27:52.580 You can make it less painful.

01:27:54.140 Yeah.

01:27:54.340 Yeah.

01:27:54.560 I, I know.

01:27:55.200 I, I, uh, I agree.

01:27:56.540 I think about that too.

01:27:57.340 It's like, you know, when, if, if I'm going to die or something's going to happen, it's

01:28:00.380 like for the most part, like if I wanted to, if I was like dying, like, yeah, you can just

01:28:05.220 like knock me out with any kind of medicine.

01:28:07.560 And then I could, whichever way it is like go peacefully or they say like at the end

01:28:12.060 and, and like, you know, whatever DMT or the spirit molecule starts to secrete and like

01:28:16.640 you, the pain leaves your body regardless.

01:28:19.680 I mean, I know it's a very scary thing.

01:28:20.840 I think as humans, we're just always scared of like what's through the door, like scared

01:28:23.900 of the unknown, but really like the people who have like these near death experiences,

01:28:28.360 if you watch, you know, some of these documentaries I've watched, they all feel like, oh, I know now

01:28:33.640 I'm not scared of death anymore because I felt like I was at death's door and it really,

01:28:38.300 it was like peaceful and inviting.

01:28:40.200 And yeah.

01:28:41.000 And that also helped change my anxiety too, where I'm like, yeah, if I'm going to die,

01:28:44.140 like, I'm not going to know I'm dead.

01:28:45.520 Like I'll just be dead.

01:28:46.700 So like, stop worrying about it so much.

01:28:48.420 Like worry about living.

01:28:49.500 But you, but you worry about like the moments preceding it, you know, like I, I would say

01:28:53.780 of the, of all the ways one can die, the ones I, I worry about are drowning and going

01:28:58.840 down in an airplane.

01:28:59.720 Like drowning just seems like a terrible way to die.

01:29:02.600 And I'm, I'm afraid of the ocean as it is like a couple of years ago when we, we moved

01:29:06.200 to New Jersey, we bought an oceanfront lot and, um, I just, I, we had second thoughts.

01:29:12.840 I was like, I don't, I'm not sure I can do it.

01:29:14.240 Like, I don't have the feeling about the ocean that most people do.

01:29:17.220 It scares me.

01:29:18.000 I had a bad experience when I was a kid.

01:29:19.480 I've never totally gotten over my fear of it.

01:29:22.060 And I don't know, you know, they say maybe like in a past life, I died by drowning.

01:29:25.620 Who the hell knows that an airplane do scare me.

01:29:28.100 I always want to be next to like the old business guy on the airplane who never gets

01:29:33.280 scared by anything.

01:29:34.260 And when it bumps, when it bumps, I just look at him.

01:29:36.640 Does he look panicked?

01:29:37.260 No, he looks good.

01:29:37.860 So I'm good.

01:29:38.380 I'm good.

01:29:38.980 Right.

01:29:39.220 Like, yeah, but there are rational fears, right?

01:29:41.640 Because not a lot of people die of drowning and not a lot of people die on an airplane,

01:29:45.480 but for whatever reason, these things get in your head and you decide to spend your day

01:29:49.820 worrying about shit like that instead of like getting your bills paid or getting your grocery 0.80

01:29:53.160 shopping done.

01:29:54.420 Yeah, no, no, yeah, no.

01:29:55.500 Like you're, we're, you know, like here's the thing.

01:29:57.360 I mean, we're Americans.

01:29:58.120 It's like you were going to die how most Americans die. 0.71

01:30:00.620 We're just going to die of cancer, a heart attack or killed in a mass shooting.

01:30:03.080 So you're not going to, you're not going to die by drowning or in a plane crash.

01:30:07.840 You know, this is America.

01:30:08.940 For me, the biggest fear, I wouldn't want to be eaten by an animal.

01:30:11.860 That's like the thing for me is like being eaten by an animal.

01:30:15.020 Holy, especially in America.

01:30:17.560 I know it doesn't, but I'm just saying your rational fears of being eaten.

01:30:20.460 Well, I mean, hey, listen, it could happen.

01:30:22.160 I mean, I don't know.

01:30:23.840 I mean, I'm in LA right now.

01:30:24.900 I see, sometimes I see some wild coyotes.

01:30:26.600 I'm like, yeah, could you imagine just being eaten to death by like a wild, rabid coyote?

01:30:32.540 But I'm also like, you know, listen, here's the thing with me is I'm just going to either,

01:30:37.060 you know, I'm going to go out, either I'm going to go out, you know, because, you know,

01:30:40.160 I'm Chrissy cholesterol is either, either my high cholesterol.

01:30:42.500 I'm just going to get killed, you know, by my wife for accidentally liking like her sister's 1.00

01:30:46.460 bathing suit pics on Instagram.

01:30:47.580 So one way or another, that's just how I'm going to go out.

01:30:50.220 So, and I'm just, I've, I've accepted that.

01:30:53.020 Let's hope it's the latter. 0.70

01:30:54.200 That'll be a blaze of glory, at least for Jazzy.

01:30:56.760 Oh my, that would be hilarious.

01:30:58.500 And I forget it.

01:30:59.320 My podcast numbers would go through the roof.

01:31:01.040 That's what I'm trying to do.

01:31:03.240 Imagine, yeah, she's killing me live on the podcast. 0.98

01:31:05.640 Chris, I'm rooting for you.

01:31:07.640 Hey, thank you.

01:31:08.720 I appreciate it.

01:31:09.660 I really do.

01:31:10.480 So I would love that last part, but, but for grand success in life and comedy and all

01:31:15.340 the rest of it, you've been killing it.

01:31:17.120 Promise me, Megan, promise me when she kills me in my sleep one day, you will have her on

01:31:21.040 the podcast and interview her from prison.

01:31:22.540 You will do that for me and my children.

01:31:25.040 I'll get your uncle who got sprung.

01:31:26.980 I'll get your dad.

01:31:27.680 It'll be a whole family crime session.

01:31:29.040 I look forward to it.

01:31:30.540 The whole family crime session.

01:31:32.000 It would be great.

01:31:32.620 This was, uh, yeah, this was, this was great.

01:31:35.040 Like I said, I'm a huge fan.

01:31:36.700 Always have been.

01:31:37.540 So, um, this is a, it was an honor to come on.

01:31:40.480 Oh, thank you very much, Chris.

01:31:42.060 All the best.

01:31:42.680 We'll be watching.

01:31:44.080 Thank you.

01:31:44.540 Yeah.

01:31:44.680 And come, come see me, come see me do some standup whenever I'm in town.

01:31:47.320 If you go to chrisdcomedy.com, I got a lot of dates coming up and my podcast, Chrissy

01:31:51.260 Chaos.

01:31:51.620 And then I do a podcast called Hey Babe with Sal Volcano from the Impracled Jokers. 0.91

01:31:55.440 That's every Thursday, 11 a.m.

01:31:56.720 Eastern time.

01:31:58.100 100%.

01:31:58.420 Can I tell you that the comedy cellar, which you mentioned is like one of my favorite places on

01:32:02.460 earth.

01:32:02.740 I think the comedians who get to perform there, who they don't just let anybody in

01:32:07.080 are the best in the world.

01:32:08.760 It's where I happened to meet Coleman Hughes, who is near and dear to my heart.

01:32:12.080 It's just, it's a, it's a special place and it's well worth trying to go to if you're

01:32:15.820 just visiting New York city.

01:32:17.200 But yeah, I would a hundred percent go see you there.

01:32:19.380 And it just reopened the comedy cellar.

01:32:21.240 It's just open.

01:32:21.780 So yeah, so I'll be back in June.

01:32:23.060 So please, yeah, stay in touch and come, come to the comedy cellar.

01:32:25.760 We'll laugh, we'll eat wings.

01:32:27.240 It'll be great.

01:32:28.520 And just for the record, I will go and Jazzy, I will be bringing Doug.

01:32:31.580 It's, I'll be there in the, with Doug in the audience, just to be clear.

01:32:36.980 Oh yeah.

01:32:37.360 No, no, no, no.

01:32:37.860 Trust me.

01:32:38.340 I saw that, you know, you have a new follower and it's Jazzy Canuela.

01:32:41.840 So she will be watching you.

01:32:44.640 I feel better.

01:32:45.600 Somehow I feel better about that.

01:32:47.380 Oh no, no, no, no, no.

01:32:48.240 You get, you get her on your side, which, which you're on her side, that you're never 0.88

01:32:51.200 going to go wrong in life.

01:32:52.060 She will protect you better than any guy ever could.

01:32:54.680 I'm telling you, you want Jazzy on your side and you've got her on your side.

01:32:57.400 And next thing you know, she's going to be swimming with me and taking airplane trips 1.00

01:33:00.780 with me.

01:33:01.620 I'm going to get really attached.

01:33:03.760 Yeah.

01:33:04.440 I can't wait.

01:33:05.620 I can't wait.

01:33:06.140 Thanks, Chris.

01:33:07.060 All right.

01:33:07.360 Thank you, Megan.

01:33:07.780 All right.

01:33:11.660 So don't forget to listen to the show on Friday because we're going to have Alan Dershowitz,

01:33:16.180 Arthur Idala and Mark Iglarz back again to talk about the latest in the Derek Chauvin

01:33:20.240 trial.

01:33:20.720 A lot's been going on.

01:33:22.220 The prosecution been presenting its case and a lot of times it sounded more like the defense

01:33:27.120 is on.

01:33:27.760 It's been going okay for Derek Chauvin.

01:33:29.840 It's been kind of interesting to see where the blows were landed and through which witnesses.

01:33:33.460 Anyway, we're going to sort of handicap the odds of a conviction at this point and on what

01:33:37.900 and bring up to date on what the trial testimony has been.

01:33:42.100 Dershowitz has been doing a great job of this in his podcast, so he'll join us.

01:33:44.860 And then my legal dream team from The Kelly File, Mark and Arthur, will be back.

01:33:48.660 So go ahead and subscribe to the show on Apple or wherever you listen to podcasts right now

01:33:51.940 so you don't miss it.

01:33:53.760 Download, rate, review.

01:33:56.240 It's been super fun reading them.

01:33:58.000 I still am reading them, and I had a very sweet review the other day that used a term

01:34:04.120 I really loved, which was Meganificent.

01:34:09.040 I loved it.

01:34:10.060 That's so sweet and clever.

01:34:11.140 I wish I could respond.

01:34:12.720 There's no way for me to respond on Apple, but I am reading them all.

01:34:15.840 So just know that I do do that, and I hear what you're saying, good and bad, and suggestions

01:34:20.240 all there, and I appreciate it greatly.

01:34:23.540 So anyway, take care of it, and we'll talk on Friday.

01:34:25.540 Thanks for listening to The Megyn Kelly Show. 0.94

01:34:28.940 No BS, no agenda, and no fear.

01:34:33.920 The Megyn Kelly Show is a Devil May Care media production in collaboration with Red Seat Ventures.

The Megyn Kelly Show - April 07, 2021

Chris Distefano on COVID Hysteria, Raising Tough Kids, and The Plague of Narcissism ｜ Ep. 86

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