The Megyn Kelly Show - Disrupting the Entertainment Industry, Empathy on Abortion, and Shark Attacks, with Andrew Schulz

00:00:00.000 Now streaming on Paramount Plus.

00:00:02.860 Someone is trying to frame us.

00:00:05.160 Until our names are cleared.

00:00:07.700 We're fugitives from interval.

00:00:09.480 Like Bonnie and Clyde with better snacks.

00:00:12.840 Espionage?

00:00:13.560 You still as good a shot as you used to be?

00:00:16.540 Better.

00:00:17.380 Is there love language?

00:00:18.860 We like to walk that fine line between techno-thriller

00:00:21.360 and romantic comedy.

00:00:24.180 We make up our own rules.

00:00:25.940 NCIS Tony and Ziva.

00:00:27.400 Now streaming on Paramount Plus.

00:00:30.000 When I found out my friend got a great deal

00:00:32.300 on a wool coat from Winner's,

00:00:33.920 I started wondering,

00:00:35.580 is every fabulous item I see from Winner's?

00:00:38.680 Like that woman over there with the designer jeans.

00:00:41.400 Are those from Winner's?

00:00:42.920 Ooh, or those beautiful gold earrings.

00:00:45.380 Did she pay full price?

00:00:46.740 Or that leather tote?

00:00:47.740 Or that cashmere sweater?

00:00:48.940 Or those knee-high boots?

00:00:50.380 That dress?

00:00:51.220 That jacket?

00:00:51.880 Those shoes?

00:00:52.900 Is anyone paying full price for anything?

00:00:55.400 Stop wondering.

00:00:57.160 Start winning.

00:00:58.080 Winners find fabulous for less.

00:01:01.060 Welcome to The Megyn Kelly Show.

00:01:02.680 Your home for open, honest, and provocative conversations.

00:01:11.820 Hey everyone, I'm Megyn Kelly.

00:01:13.580 Welcome to The Megyn Kelly Show and happy Friday.

00:01:17.100 I've been looking forward to talking to this guest today

00:01:19.320 since the last time he was on back in March of 2021.

00:01:23.280 I did something that I rarely do.

00:01:25.460 I rarely do.

00:01:26.040 You know, I live the interviews live.

00:01:28.420 I do them live.

00:01:29.240 I experience them in the first person.

00:01:31.940 And so I don't always go back and listen to them

00:01:34.420 because I've already done it.

00:01:35.720 But every once in a while, I need to.

00:01:39.000 Even I found it so entertaining.

00:01:40.840 I'm like, I just need to take it in as a consumer.

00:01:43.460 And I did that the last time Andrew Schultz was on the program,

00:01:47.100 which was March of 2021.

00:01:48.660 And I was laughing out loud again.

00:01:50.600 I took my dogs on this hilariously long walk

00:01:53.220 and just laughed and listened and learned

00:01:56.720 and was entertained on every level.

00:01:59.380 Way back then, we talked about the state of comedy,

00:02:01.400 about Joe Biden, Trump, Mormons, breastfeeding, porn, pubic hair,

00:02:04.980 and this movie, Swingers.

00:02:06.760 So with that in mind, where is there left to go?

00:02:10.260 Plenty, plenty of places.

00:02:12.360 Andrew Schultz is a comedian.

00:02:13.600 He's a podcast host.

00:02:15.140 He rose to fame during the pandemic in 2020

00:02:17.380 with his incisive and hilarious videos.

00:02:20.720 His new special, he's got a barn burner out now,

00:02:24.500 what's coming out on Sunday officially,

00:02:26.600 was supposed to come out on a streaming platform this month.

00:02:31.240 But then guess what?

00:02:32.840 They went to Andrew and said, you got to cut this joke.

00:02:36.200 And that joke.

00:02:37.460 And this joke.

00:02:38.720 And we really don't want to offend anybody.

00:02:40.420 And, you know, you could sense the downward spiral.

00:02:42.900 And Andrew said, you can pound sand.

00:02:45.480 Instead, he bought the special back with his life savings.

00:02:48.960 And now he's releasing it on his own this weekend

00:02:52.000 and needs your support so that he too

00:02:54.300 is not under the thumb of these big streaming platforms,

00:02:57.680 which try to censor anybody who's at risk of offending,

00:03:01.780 even a comedian whose job that literally is.

00:03:06.200 Now streaming on Paramount+.

00:03:08.880 Someone is trying to frame us.

00:03:11.820 Until our names are cleared.

00:03:14.400 We're fugitives from interval.

00:03:16.180 Like Bonnie and Clyde with better snacks.

00:03:19.600 Espionage.

00:03:20.260 You still as good a shot as you used to be?

00:03:23.320 Better.

00:03:24.100 Is there love language?

00:03:25.560 We like to walk that fine line between techno thriller

00:03:28.040 and romantic comedy.

00:03:30.880 We make up our own rules.

00:03:32.660 NCIS Tony and Ziva.

00:03:34.380 Now streaming on Paramount+.

00:03:36.180 Andrew, welcome back.

00:03:40.440 Great to have you.

00:03:41.540 Thank you so much.

00:03:42.640 Hi, Megan.

00:03:43.160 How are you?

00:03:44.140 I'm awesome.

00:03:44.720 I'm so excited to congratulate you on your nuptials.

00:03:49.460 I understand you got married since the last time I saw you.

00:03:52.800 Not only did I get married,

00:03:54.600 I think part of my honeymoon you were at.

00:04:01.100 What?

00:04:02.080 I was on your honeymoon with you?

00:04:04.160 Were you staying at the Borgo San Andrea in Amalfi?

00:04:08.620 Yes.

00:04:09.400 Wait, were you there?

00:04:10.300 I thought it was you and you were with your family

00:04:14.020 and I'm kind of like private on vacation

00:04:15.760 so I don't really like bothering people

00:04:17.440 but I thought it was you

00:04:18.560 but I've never seen you in a bikini before

00:04:20.160 so I didn't know for sure.

00:04:21.920 And so I was like,

00:04:24.240 do I want to have that interaction if it's not her?

00:04:27.460 And then I was like,

00:04:28.740 I'm not going to bother.

00:04:29.680 But your husband's a hunk.

00:04:32.100 Holy shit.

00:04:33.420 Isn't he?

00:04:34.220 I think so.

00:04:35.740 I'm biased.

00:04:36.940 My God, if I had known that you were sitting there

00:04:38.480 while I was in a bikini,

00:04:39.340 I definitely would have sucked things in more.

00:04:41.180 I wish you had given me some sort of a heads up.

00:04:43.100 You tried a little harder.

00:04:44.440 I thought it was all foreigners.

00:04:45.980 You were killing it.

00:04:47.080 You were absolutely killing it.

00:04:48.200 And that's the best hotel I've ever been to,

00:04:49.900 by the way.

00:04:50.400 It was unbelievable, that experience.

00:04:51.740 It is so beautiful.

00:04:53.020 So the audience knows it's only a couple years old

00:04:55.040 and it's truly like built into a cliff.

00:04:58.380 It's like something out of a movie

00:04:59.800 where it's just like, you know,

00:05:01.240 I picture those movies from like the 1960s

00:05:03.460 where the women wore the head scarves

00:05:05.940 that like blew in the convertible

00:05:07.420 and, you know, the guys had the best sunglasses

00:05:09.960 and a cool jacket on.

00:05:11.620 And it's just like, it's like time travel.

00:05:14.740 Yeah.

00:05:15.000 You were in a Bond film.

00:05:16.480 That's what it was like.

00:05:17.640 Right?

00:05:18.140 So wait a minute.

00:05:18.680 So did you take a delayed honeymoon?

00:05:20.620 Because I thought you got married before.

00:05:22.360 So I got married in December.

00:05:23.980 My wife got COVID at the wedding.

00:05:25.440 So we had to cancel our like little honeymoon

00:05:28.220 that we were going to do after that.

00:05:30.420 And yeah, so we push it off

00:05:32.160 and then we did Italy.

00:05:33.400 And then the end of,

00:05:34.840 oh, look at that picture right there.

00:05:36.380 And then, so we did Italy at the end.

00:05:38.800 And then the Borgo is this thing

00:05:40.280 that was just thrown to us

00:05:41.340 and suggested to us by this great travel agent.

00:05:46.180 And it was just the most amazing place

00:05:48.020 I've ever been to in my entire life.

00:05:49.500 It's the first, like I've traveled a lot.

00:05:51.420 And it's the first time I went to a place

00:05:52.540 where I'm like, I'm not checking off a box.

00:05:54.260 I'm going to come back here.

00:05:56.080 Yeah.

00:05:56.660 Yes.

00:05:57.120 No, it was spectacular.

00:05:58.300 We felt the same.

00:05:59.040 And my kids were like, oh, you know,

00:06:01.080 they saw this thing, this hotel.

00:06:03.820 And the thing about the Mediterranean is

00:06:05.420 it's got all the beaches are,

00:06:07.320 they're not sandy, they're rocky.

00:06:08.700 So you have to wear your little,

00:06:09.880 you know, your little flip-flops down to the beach.

00:06:12.360 But the water, the waters,

00:06:14.520 it's not exactly like the Caribbean,

00:06:16.320 but it's close.

00:06:17.300 It's warm.

00:06:18.000 It's clear.

00:06:18.680 It's beautiful.

00:06:19.180 It's safe.

00:06:19.980 And all the Italians were like,

00:06:21.040 no sharks, no sharks.

00:06:22.460 Like, great.

00:06:23.000 Yeah.

00:06:23.720 It was, it was wild.

00:06:24.860 It was, you got to watch out

00:06:25.900 for the jellyfish though.

00:06:27.400 My wife got stung by a jellyfish

00:06:29.600 and I had to piss on her on the boat.

00:06:31.540 It was kind of,

00:06:32.400 it was the highlight of the honeymoon,

00:06:33.900 to be honest with you.

00:06:35.000 That is not actually a thing.

00:06:36.840 That is not.

00:06:37.700 It happened.

00:06:38.700 I had to pay the captain of the boat

00:06:40.740 to drop her off near where the jellyfish were,

00:06:43.220 like a hundred euro,

00:06:44.120 but it was a hundred percent worth.

00:06:46.760 It was 100% worth getting to do that

00:06:49.720 on our honeymoon.

00:06:51.420 You know, and save her,

00:06:52.840 heroically doing it.

00:06:53.720 I didn't want to do it,

00:06:54.580 but I had to save my wife, you know?

00:06:56.520 Such a good man.

00:06:57.680 That's really a lot of bonding

00:06:59.360 for early on in the marriage.

00:07:02.680 So I want to ask you about your wife

00:07:04.660 because she seems amazing.

00:07:05.840 She's beautiful.

00:07:06.960 She's getting her master's degree

00:07:08.980 or MBA at the NYU Stern School.

00:07:11.240 She just got her MBA from Stern.

00:07:13.760 All right.

00:07:14.020 This is a very smart, beautiful woman.

00:07:16.320 So, and I mean this

00:07:17.680 in the kindest way possible.

00:07:19.000 How did that happen?

00:07:20.560 What is she doing with me?

00:07:24.580 Um, I don't know.

00:07:26.420 That's a great question.

00:07:27.460 I don't know.

00:07:27.880 Maybe she likes,

00:07:28.840 maybe she likes comedy too much,

00:07:30.480 I guess.

00:07:31.140 I'm not exactly sure.

00:07:32.720 How'd you guys meet?

00:07:34.240 She slid in the DMs.

00:07:35.780 Alpha female.

00:07:36.400 No.

00:07:37.040 No way.

00:07:37.460 Went after it.

00:07:38.180 Yeah.

00:07:38.840 Just went after it.

00:07:39.800 We went on a date.

00:07:40.680 I think, uh,

00:07:42.160 I would say,

00:07:42.760 I'll be honest,

00:07:43.420 I would say like second date.

00:07:44.780 I was like,

00:07:45.920 I'll probably marry her.

00:07:47.600 As corny and cliche as that sounds.

00:07:49.440 I was like,

00:07:49.760 I think we're going to get married.

00:07:51.100 I just really liked,

00:07:52.460 um,

00:07:53.880 I just really liked,

00:07:55.340 I just really liked talking to her.

00:07:56.840 I,

00:07:57.200 you know,

00:07:57.360 I talk to people for a living and,

00:07:59.060 and that's really important to me.

00:08:01.300 And I'm like a curious person.

00:08:02.760 I'm always interested in,

00:08:04.160 in what people have to say.

00:08:05.340 And I selfishly,

00:08:06.360 I'm interested because it could be something

00:08:07.660 to comment on and think about

00:08:09.300 and could change my worldview.

00:08:11.000 But at the same time,

00:08:12.580 it's a,

00:08:13.400 it,

00:08:13.640 you know,

00:08:13.780 she's a,

00:08:14.360 just a very kind of interesting,

00:08:15.620 insightful person.

00:08:16.400 And,

00:08:16.760 um,

00:08:17.280 but I really like sharing with her

00:08:18.900 and I've been dating a lot and just,

00:08:21.360 you know,

00:08:21.500 going around the city like crazy

00:08:22.980 and kind of like morphing my personality

00:08:25.320 a little bit to every girl that I was dating.

00:08:27.860 And this was like the first person I went on

00:08:29.960 where I was being like authentically myself

00:08:32.040 and we got along and I was like,

00:08:34.620 this is awesome.

00:08:35.380 Like I get to be myself

00:08:36.360 and the girl seems to like it.

00:08:37.660 And I could do this for a long time.

00:08:40.960 Oh,

00:08:41.220 I'm not surprised because you're,

00:08:42.160 you're very smart.

00:08:43.160 I mean,

00:08:43.460 as the best comedians tend to be,

00:08:45.440 you're very smart.

00:08:46.520 So it doesn't shock me that you wound up

00:08:48.480 with a very smart woman.

00:08:50.080 Um,

00:08:50.400 but I like the fact that you're slid into

00:08:52.540 the DM story ends better than the day

00:08:54.500 Portnoy's slid into the DM stories.

00:08:58.120 What was that one?

00:08:59.840 Well,

00:09:00.060 he's got all these young women

00:09:01.780 who are quote,

00:09:03.060 he always says sliding into the DMs.

00:09:04.480 And then it winds up with the women

00:09:06.040 going to Buzzfeed and saying,

00:09:07.840 Oh,

00:09:07.900 he treated me terribly after I flew out them.

00:09:10.120 out to see him without knowing him

00:09:11.380 for one time.

00:09:12.540 Uh,

00:09:12.860 you know,

00:09:13.060 I never met him before.

00:09:13.920 I,

00:09:14.080 I flew out to go see him.

00:09:15.820 And the next thing I know,

00:09:17.320 he was spitting in my mouth

00:09:18.640 and he was treating me shitty.

00:09:20.160 And he,

00:09:20.760 and it's like,

00:09:21.140 I'm not defending Dave Portnoy,

00:09:22.820 not treating the women nicely,

00:09:24.260 but what do you expect?

00:09:25.860 But yeah,

00:09:26.140 but in those things are,

00:09:27.120 are mutually exclusive.

00:09:28.220 Like you can be like,

00:09:29.620 like a shitty person and spit in someone's mouth

00:09:32.320 in a fun way.

00:09:33.500 Yeah.

00:09:34.520 You know,

00:09:34.940 like the,

00:09:35.400 like one thing does not mean the other.

00:09:39.440 Like some people are,

00:09:40.220 you know,

00:09:40.640 really into that.

00:09:41.480 That's a really awesome,

00:09:42.360 like fun adventure,

00:09:43.740 you know?

00:09:44.100 And then,

00:09:44.540 um,

00:09:45.380 they get married and then all of a sudden

00:09:47.820 that is not fun anymore.

00:09:49.140 And then that stops.

00:09:50.160 So I can honestly say hypothetically speaking,

00:09:53.460 I've never known a woman whose thing that has been

00:09:56.340 like a spit in my mouth.

00:09:57.680 No,

00:09:57.900 that's disgusting.

00:09:59.060 You know what?

00:09:59.700 There was a story just this week.

00:10:00.780 Speaking of spit in my mouth,

00:10:02.400 this here's a transition for you.

00:10:03.800 Um,

00:10:04.200 they're shooting the new Thor movie and,

00:10:06.740 um,

00:10:07.660 Natalie Portman is,

00:10:09.260 I guess a vegan and she's the female lead.

00:10:12.080 And Chris Hemsworth is playing Thor.

00:10:13.900 And he apparently eats meat,

00:10:16.500 bison,

00:10:17.040 whatever at every meal.

00:10:18.240 And she was saying,

00:10:19.440 Oh,

00:10:19.540 he's so sweet.

00:10:20.360 The morning of our love scene or when we had to have a

00:10:23.420 kiss,

00:10:23.880 he didn't eat meat.

00:10:26.260 Cause he knew he was going to be kissing me.

00:10:29.720 Wow.

00:10:30.280 I mean,

00:10:30.980 the sacrifices we make,

00:10:32.940 the sacrifices we make for one another.

00:10:35.640 I mean,

00:10:36.140 wow.

00:10:36.860 As if like,

00:10:37.580 that would be breaking her vegan code to touch tongues with

00:10:40.200 somebody who had had some.

00:10:43.200 Oh,

00:10:43.900 Natalie.

00:10:45.060 She looked buff in that movie.

00:10:46.420 She looked like she was on protein,

00:10:47.880 like the real meat protein.

00:10:49.100 Did you watch the,

00:10:49.800 uh,

00:10:50.040 the film?

00:10:50.520 I haven't,

00:10:51.200 I haven't seen a movie in forever.

00:10:52.760 I,

00:10:53.120 and I don't really like the superhero movies.

00:10:54.620 I gotta be honest.

00:10:55.260 They're not for me.

00:10:55.800 You didn't see Top Gun.

00:10:57.720 I haven't.

00:10:58.460 Well,

00:10:58.560 I've seen original Top Gun,

00:10:59.720 but I haven't seen Maverick.

00:11:01.240 Oh my God.

00:11:02.320 I mean,

00:11:02.620 Top Gun is a perfect film.

00:11:05.340 There's no movie theaters where I am.

00:11:07.120 I,

00:11:07.180 the Jersey shore.

00:11:07.960 There's literally no movie theaters.

00:11:09.940 Megan drive into the city.

00:11:11.100 Okay.

00:11:11.540 With that hot piece of ass husband of yours.

00:11:13.820 Okay.

00:11:14.480 And let them take you to a beautiful movie theater and watch Top Gun Maverick and just

00:11:20.140 enjoy pure raw Americana.

00:11:22.760 I honestly believe in Scientology after it.

00:11:26.920 That's how good it was.

00:11:28.300 That's how good it was.

00:11:29.640 That's why I'm in LA.

00:11:31.000 I got,

00:11:31.680 I got to see what's going on over here.

00:11:33.460 You know,

00:11:33.760 you're going to pledge your allegiance to the clam.

00:11:35.700 That's the thing.

00:11:37.200 It's crazy.

00:11:37.840 Cause like,

00:11:38.160 that's really,

00:11:38.640 you get to that point.

00:11:39.380 Apparently we get involved enough in Scientology where they,

00:11:41.600 you learn that they worship a clam.

00:11:43.100 And I was definitely labeled a suppressive person by Scientology.

00:11:46.840 Cause I did all this reporting on them.

00:11:47.960 I was told that by Mike Rinder,

00:11:49.340 who was one of their grand poobahs.

00:11:50.940 And,

00:11:51.340 uh,

00:11:51.560 I,

00:11:51.940 I had these images of being like,

00:11:53.420 when they finally like grabbed my garbage and did shit,

00:11:55.580 I'd be like back off or the clam gets it.

00:11:58.260 I just have one at the ready,

00:11:59.480 you know,

00:11:59.820 like,

00:12:00.680 and that would really be threatening to them.

00:12:03.300 It is so weird,

00:12:04.460 I guess.

00:12:04.980 I don't know.

00:12:05.740 I guess they're all,

00:12:07.100 people just need organization.

00:12:08.460 I think that's what it is.

00:12:09.200 People need somebody to tell them what to do.

00:12:11.140 And that will make their life a little bit easier.

00:12:13.280 You know,

00:12:13.480 you don't have parents anymore.

00:12:14.940 And if you don't have traditional religion,

00:12:16.680 you just need somebody.

00:12:17.960 It's a weird place,

00:12:19.100 Hollywood,

00:12:19.760 you know,

00:12:20.120 like,

00:12:21.360 and you've existed within it in some way.

00:12:23.200 It's like,

00:12:23.440 everybody's constantly catering to you.

00:12:25.540 Like you're on set for 12 hours a day and everybody's bringing you,

00:12:29.160 you want a croissant?

00:12:29.900 A guy brings you a croissant,

00:12:30.900 a coffee.

00:12:31.500 And like,

00:12:32.180 imagine spending like years within that world.

00:12:34.640 That will warp you as a human being,

00:12:36.560 like sap.

00:12:38.000 Any humility.

00:12:39.280 When everyone around you is like a servant.

00:12:41.620 It is,

00:12:41.940 that is a dangerous place to be in for an extended period of time.

00:12:45.020 So I could see why they would walk into a place and then somebody like slaps them or something.

00:12:51.300 And they're like,

00:12:51.720 Whoa,

00:12:51.920 that's fun.

00:12:52.860 But that hasn't happened to me in a long time.

00:12:55.720 Yeah.

00:12:56.640 Spit in my mouth.

00:12:58.480 You know,

00:12:58.820 like whatever,

00:12:59.660 whatever.

00:13:00.440 The Scientologists,

00:13:02.840 I will give them this.

00:13:03.820 They've got principles that you could admire in terms of like being self-sufficient.

00:13:09.940 And,

00:13:10.380 you know,

00:13:10.800 you can get yourself out of this.

00:13:12.000 And if you have negative forces in your life,

00:13:13.740 get rid of them.

00:13:14.400 I,

00:13:14.680 I like that stuff,

00:13:15.900 but it really goes off the rails when you get to,

00:13:19.040 when they put the Campbell's soup can up against your ear as the solution to solving all your problems,

00:13:23.600 they amass their blackmail files.

00:13:25.460 That's time to get off the train.

00:13:27.580 Yeah.

00:13:27.740 The blackmail files are interesting.

00:13:29.100 So what is it you got to like,

00:13:31.260 you got to say,

00:13:31.820 if you did anything gay in college or something like that,

00:13:33.860 that's how you get anything,

00:13:34.680 anything that could be used against you.

00:13:36.260 You know,

00:13:36.460 you're supposed to purge it,

00:13:37.700 I guess,

00:13:38.240 but really it's being written down and it will be held against you.

00:13:41.420 If you try to leave Scientology or try to pull your kids out of Scientology.

00:13:45.460 I mean,

00:13:45.680 Leah Remini's,

00:13:46.660 she works with Mike Rinder on that special.

00:13:48.840 She does.

00:13:49.860 But,

00:13:50.240 you know,

00:13:50.380 there's been enough people who came out that getting going clear was the greatest documentary ever where they really expose what they do.

00:13:56.920 It just gets really crazy.

00:13:58.320 But I mean,

00:13:59.240 look,

00:13:59.840 you're not wrong.

00:14:00.720 There are a lot of like,

00:14:01.800 my husband read Under the Banner of Heaven about the beginnings of the Mormon church.

00:14:06.300 And then he was like,

00:14:06.900 I can't vote for Mitt Romney.

00:14:08.400 I like I,

00:14:08.940 he wears the full body underwear.

00:14:10.100 I don't think I can go there.

00:14:11.400 Yeah.

00:14:11.600 But Mormons are awesome though.

00:14:13.980 They're so awesome.

00:14:15.600 You don't want to wear full body underwear though.

00:14:17.540 I mean,

00:14:17.760 full body underwear is a lot,

00:14:19.860 but like just hanging around them.

00:14:21.980 They're always like positive and fun.

00:14:23.980 And they're just like,

00:14:25.020 if I had a Mormon neighbor,

00:14:26.040 I wouldn't lock my doors.

00:14:27.080 Like if you could just pick neighbors,

00:14:29.140 you just want Mormons.

00:14:30.960 Yes.

00:14:31.460 They're not.

00:14:31.840 I want to convert to Mormonism.

00:14:33.660 I want to convert there before my kids get to drinking age.

00:14:36.500 Just so I can be like,

00:14:37.360 say,

00:14:37.440 we don't drink.

00:14:38.340 We don't do anything bad.

00:14:39.720 We're holistic.

00:14:40.560 We love the Lord.

00:14:41.800 That's it.

00:14:42.160 It's not that crazy.

00:14:43.880 Like every,

00:14:44.600 every religion has something really fun in it that you're like,

00:14:48.100 they got this right.

00:14:50.000 100%.

00:14:50.400 I mean,

00:14:51.600 I'm,

00:14:51.920 I'm an observant,

00:14:53.520 I'm getting more observant Catholic.

00:14:55.480 Um,

00:14:56.020 we have Christmas.

00:14:56.940 I don't know if I'd describe it as like fun.

00:14:58.860 I can sing other virtues.

00:15:00.920 Catholicism is making a comeback.

00:15:02.980 Is it?

00:15:04.320 I don't know.

00:15:04.960 I just thought it'd be a good thing to say.

00:15:10.260 No,

00:15:10.760 but you know what?

00:15:11.700 You know,

00:15:12.060 it's interesting about Catholicism though.

00:15:14.680 Cause when I was in Italy,

00:15:15.600 I kind of thought about this,

00:15:17.280 like,

00:15:18.140 like everybody.

00:15:19.060 Okay.

00:15:19.280 Here,

00:15:19.580 just roll with me on this.

00:15:21.040 Okay.

00:15:21.340 This is like half formed,

00:15:23.020 but every,

00:15:24.980 if you live long enough,

00:15:26.280 it doesn't matter how progressive you are at when you're young.

00:15:28.720 If you live long enough,

00:15:29.940 you become like the bigot that the new progressives look at.

00:15:33.360 Right.

00:15:34.000 Yeah.

00:15:34.500 You want to admit that like biological men can be women and all that.

00:15:38.660 Exactly.

00:15:39.260 Right.

00:15:39.460 Like everybody's going to have a thing.

00:15:41.020 Like the same people who are like hippies in the sixties are having these

00:15:44.320 opinions.

00:15:44.700 Now they're like,

00:15:45.380 how,

00:15:45.680 what is transgender?

00:15:46.500 What's going on?

00:15:47.100 And they were like the most progressive in sixties.

00:15:48.960 Right.

00:15:49.680 So,

00:15:50.660 and I'm in Italy and I'm kind of like observing what's going on.

00:15:53.480 And I'm looking at this like ancient culture and you're looking at like,

00:15:57.020 you even go to like,

00:15:57.840 for example,

00:15:58.600 Pompeii,

00:15:59.220 there's like a brothel Pompeii.

00:16:01.040 Right.

00:16:01.260 And it has pictures of all the things you can do.

00:16:03.380 And there's like,

00:16:03.860 you went,

00:16:05.040 did you saw it?

00:16:05.520 And you,

00:16:05.780 did you see how nasty some of the things were?

00:16:07.820 There was like,

00:16:08.440 you have sex with like kids and animals and shit.

00:16:11.100 Right.

00:16:11.180 This is like disgusting.

00:16:13.640 Right.

00:16:14.280 And everybody in ancient Greece and like,

00:16:17.700 let's say antiquity,

00:16:18.740 right.

00:16:18.900 Ancient Greece,

00:16:19.580 ancient Rome.

00:16:20.260 They have like little boys that they're having sex with.

00:16:22.640 Like everybody has like a little boy concubine.

00:16:24.940 And then Catholicism comes in and starts to clean some of that up.

00:16:28.700 They're like,

00:16:28.980 Hey,

00:16:29.140 stop fucking the animals.

00:16:30.700 Stop fucking the little boys.

00:16:32.240 Like you got to chill the hell out.

00:16:33.940 Okay.

00:16:34.300 Michelangelo,

00:16:34.660 you can do it.

00:16:35.220 Cause you're good at painting,

00:16:35.900 but everybody else stop with the little boy sex and stop with the animals.

00:16:40.220 Right.

00:16:40.940 And fast forward 2000 years.

00:16:43.340 Catholics are known as the boy fuckers.

00:16:46.880 And I wonder if there's like these priests that like really studied like Catholic history that are looking around the world going,

00:16:54.060 you know how lucky you guys are.

00:16:56.040 You know how many more boys would be fucked if it wasn't for us?

00:17:00.020 Like we cut the whole thing out.

00:17:03.840 I don't think anyone's saying this is why,

00:17:07.700 this is why the special didn't make it on the streaming flip.

00:17:10.480 It might be,

00:17:11.420 it might be,

00:17:12.480 but you could argue that they objectively like cleaned up 99% of boy sex around,

00:17:19.100 you know,

00:17:19.840 uh,

00:17:20.160 Catholic countries.

00:17:21.460 It definitely was a mission that went off the rails,

00:17:23.340 uh,

00:17:23.760 in more modern times and perhaps be before.

00:17:26.960 It's so hard.

00:17:27.800 Cause like,

00:17:28.100 I go to the church every Sunday and I bring my children,

00:17:32.260 but like,

00:17:33.320 would I,

00:17:34.000 would I let my kids be altar boys or now you can be an altar girl?

00:17:37.080 But obviously the problem was with the boys.

00:17:39.240 No,

00:17:39.680 I would not.

00:17:40.640 I wouldn't really.

00:17:41.580 I,

00:17:41.680 I wouldn't.

00:17:42.480 I just like,

00:17:44.200 why take the risk?

00:17:45.040 It's like,

00:17:45.500 I also tell my kids,

00:17:47.280 especially my boys,

00:17:48.120 but it's true for girls.

00:17:49.000 We're like,

00:17:49.200 if you have a teacher who gets like too close or wants to spend like a lot of time with you privately after school.

00:17:55.200 And especially if they ever say,

00:17:56.360 don't tell mom or dad run,

00:17:58.180 tell us,

00:17:58.900 no,

00:17:59.220 like you have to be,

00:17:59.780 it's sad.

00:18:00.680 You got to be aware of these and the pedophiles know to go to the places where the children are.

00:18:07.000 If you're a pedophile,

00:18:07.380 they take advantage of the institutions for sure.

00:18:09.760 Yeah.

00:18:09.920 You don't take the job at AARP.

00:18:11.900 You know,

00:18:12.320 you go to the boy scouts or you go to the place where the kids are.

00:18:15.920 So it's like,

00:18:16.280 as a parent,

00:18:16.880 you're going to learn this soon as you guys started having kids.

00:18:20.400 Like you got to be on guard.

00:18:21.840 You know,

00:18:22.020 you got to see the trouble coming.

00:18:23.900 Yeah.

00:18:24.160 I'm,

00:18:25.120 that is a terrifying thing.

00:18:26.360 Because like,

00:18:27.460 they're those ages,

00:18:28.460 like,

00:18:29.320 what is it?

00:18:29.760 You know,

00:18:30.060 like,

00:18:30.480 I don't know if you've ever gone to like therapy,

00:18:31.820 but like,

00:18:32.240 if you know,

00:18:32.640 you're talking to a therapist and like my wife and I were,

00:18:36.000 we're planning on having kids.

00:18:37.420 So I was like,

00:18:37.820 let's like do a little therapy,

00:18:39.460 you know,

00:18:39.700 and like,

00:18:40.080 make sure that we work everything out because once these kids are here,

00:18:42.580 I don't know if we're going to have time to work out our ship because we're going to be raising these children,

00:18:45.920 you know,

00:18:46.220 we're tired.

00:18:47.740 Yeah,

00:18:48.080 we'll be tired.

00:18:48.580 Yeah,

00:18:48.740 we'll be tired.

00:18:49.700 And,

00:18:50.140 and so like,

00:18:52.820 we're in therapy and just like talking about these things.

00:18:55.320 And it's so interesting how many things from your early childhood affect who you are now.

00:18:59.560 Right.

00:19:00.040 I'm talking to like the first like six years,

00:19:02.380 maybe even 10 years.

00:19:04.000 And I'm just wondering like,

00:19:07.000 God,

00:19:07.520 like what,

00:19:07.860 should we just not even let kids leave our site for 10 years and then they could do whatever they want?

00:19:13.820 It's terrifying.

00:19:14.460 You know,

00:19:14.780 like,

00:19:15.720 but the first 10 years won't do it.

00:19:17.500 It's you got to go longer.

00:19:18.800 I mean,

00:19:18.960 I look at my,

00:19:20.060 my daughter right now.

00:19:21.420 She's 11.

00:19:22.260 She just turned 11 in April.

00:19:23.740 She's newly 11.

00:19:25.160 And I,

00:19:25.820 I've been saying to my friend,

00:19:26.780 I'm like,

00:19:27.020 she's in this Lolita phase where she looks like a woman,

00:19:29.800 but she's a little girl,

00:19:31.520 you know?

00:19:31.860 And it's like,

00:19:33.020 I'm in high,

00:19:34.160 like mother protected.

00:19:35.600 I'm mama bear mode,

00:19:36.740 like back off,

00:19:38.000 stay away.

00:19:38.660 You know,

00:19:38.880 like she's a kid,

00:19:39.760 she's a baby,

00:19:40.860 but it is.

00:19:41.640 I remember that scene from,

00:19:42.940 um,

00:19:43.800 to Jillian on her 37th birthday.

00:19:45.660 Do you remember that film with Michelle Pfeiffer and Peter Gallagher with the eyebrows?

00:19:49.660 He's got the big fuzzy eyebrows.

00:19:51.520 Anyway,

00:19:51.820 there's a scene in there where,

00:19:53.080 uh,

00:19:53.840 Peter Gallagher is an uglier version of your husband.

00:19:57.400 I can see that.

00:19:58.800 Yeah.

00:19:58.960 That's how hot your husband is.

00:20:01.180 Doug is hot.

00:20:02.080 I nailed,

00:20:02.680 I nailed it.

00:20:03.600 So to speak.

00:20:06.200 Three times.

00:20:10.320 It's actually funny.

00:20:11.240 This is a diversion.

00:20:12.620 When I met Doug,

00:20:13.680 he was 35 and I was 35 or he was 34 and I was 30.

00:20:16.760 He's nine months younger.

00:20:17.540 And I was like,

00:20:18.220 there's no way he's not gay or a serial killer.

00:20:23.560 There's no way he comes to me at this good looking at age.

00:20:26.400 34 and ever married.

00:20:27.540 There's an issue.

00:20:28.680 What is it?

00:20:29.700 You know?

00:20:30.140 And,

00:20:30.560 and,

00:20:30.760 and my office made it Fox news was major Garrett at the time.

00:20:33.680 And newly into the relationship,

00:20:35.120 Doug sent me flowers and Andrew,

00:20:37.120 it was the lamest like one 800 flowers bouquet.

00:20:39.640 He could possibly have ordered.

00:20:40.680 It must've spent like $25 on it.

00:20:42.840 And,

00:20:43.480 and major Garrett looks at the bouquet and he goes,

00:20:45.880 well,

00:20:46.060 he's not gay.

00:20:52.060 So I'm like,

00:20:52.600 okay,

00:20:52.760 let's see.

00:20:53.220 Let's find out about serial killer.

00:20:54.740 So as soon as I go to his apartment,

00:20:56.120 the first thing I do is like,

00:20:57.300 you know,

00:20:57.480 I get up early.

00:20:58.180 I start searching all the closets.

00:20:59.400 I'd start looking at all the drawers.

00:21:00.760 Like what,

00:21:01.140 is there any evidence of serial killer here?

00:21:02.820 What?

00:21:03.000 So it turns out not,

00:21:03.960 not a serial killer.

00:21:05.120 Just a great guy who happens to be very good looking,

00:21:07.120 who just never settled.

00:21:09.160 I know it's amazing.

00:21:11.120 That is crazy.

00:21:13.040 That is absolutely crazy.

00:21:14.900 Now I will say my wife met me when I was 35.

00:21:20.060 So I'm just saying sometimes hunks slip through the cracks.

00:21:24.800 You know,

00:21:25.860 it just is what it is.

00:21:28.940 Sometimes we just get ignored for years,

00:21:31.560 you know?

00:21:32.040 And then,

00:21:32.580 then we have that,

00:21:33.280 like,

00:21:33.700 you know,

00:21:35.200 I'm sure he was struggling.

00:21:36.360 I'm sure a guy like that was just struggling for years.

00:21:39.160 Finally,

00:21:39.760 you know,

00:21:40.060 somebody saw something in it.

00:21:41.620 It was,

00:21:42.340 I will.

00:21:43.400 I'll say this when Doug and I first went,

00:21:45.700 how many people are going to Google your husband after this conversation?

00:21:48.700 He will not disappoint.

00:21:50.060 You'll see he's a very attractive man,

00:21:51.660 but he has no vanity.

00:21:52.740 That's the interesting thing about Doug.

00:21:54.400 Like I,

00:21:55.120 I can't understand how he's not vain.

00:21:57.260 He doesn't own a hairbrush.

00:21:58.520 He never,

00:21:59.500 like I said on the air that earlier this week,

00:22:01.380 all he wears is one outfit,

00:22:02.560 his shorts and his Mickey mouse t-shirt.

00:22:04.120 Like he does.

00:22:04.760 He's got no threads.

00:22:05.700 He's got no fashion.

00:22:06.820 He's delightful,

00:22:07.660 but he's like,

00:22:08.340 puts no effort into being good looking.

00:22:09.780 He just is.

00:22:10.880 It's kind of,

00:22:11.640 it's mildly annoying.

00:22:12.940 But anyway,

00:22:13.540 what's I going to say?

00:22:15.080 Oh,

00:22:15.200 I wanted to go back to the Jillian on her 37th birthday.

00:22:17.200 So I was going to say about the,

00:22:18.180 the daughter was walking down the beach on that Claire Danes,

00:22:21.240 who was then young.

00:22:22.340 And from the back,

00:22:23.660 she looked like a woman,

00:22:24.700 but she was still like a young teen.

00:22:26.700 And it's the father looking at his own daughter,

00:22:28.980 like,

00:22:29.280 Oh my God,

00:22:29.720 look at that.

00:22:30.160 She's hot.

00:22:30.680 Look at that ass.

00:22:31.360 And it turns out it's his daughter.

00:22:33.580 Now this does not happen to us.

00:22:35.000 I would like to know it for the record,

00:22:36.180 but my daughter's at the age now where you,

00:22:39.680 I can see adult men like noticing her.

00:22:41.600 And it's,

00:22:42.480 it's freaking me out.

00:22:43.940 And I'm sure in your shoes and certainly my husband's shoes,

00:22:46.740 it's really going to freak you out.

00:22:48.340 Oh,

00:22:49.120 I mean like my,

00:22:50.500 my,

00:22:50.940 my wife had essentially kind of like our niece.

00:22:53.560 It's like a family friend,

00:22:54.380 but you know,

00:22:54.780 when your family becomes almost like your relatives.

00:22:56.600 So this is basically like our niece staying with us.

00:22:59.500 And she's like 14,

00:23:01.540 I think just go going into high school.

00:23:04.020 And she had like grownup nails on.

00:23:08.200 I don't allow that.

00:23:10.000 Okay.

00:23:10.500 And it was the weirdest thing.

00:23:12.220 Cause I'm looking at this like really fun,

00:23:13.940 like girl.

00:23:14.800 And she's so adorable.

00:23:15.780 And,

00:23:16.600 but the nails,

00:23:17.320 like if you look at her hand,

00:23:18.380 it looked like a grown person.

00:23:20.200 And I'm like,

00:23:21.200 there's certain thing I will.

00:23:22.840 I don't think,

00:23:23.680 like,

00:23:23.800 I don't think my daughter,

00:23:25.240 I don't think I'm doing the heels thing until you're like 25 or

00:23:28.880 something like,

00:23:29.800 well,

00:23:29.980 definitely not.

00:23:32.460 Well,

00:23:32.620 that's hard because they're all doing it.

00:23:33.960 Well,

00:23:34.120 you,

00:23:34.340 they said they go to the little dances and I'm telling you,

00:23:37.020 they,

00:23:37.200 they all wear these dresses that look like more like a belt than a

00:23:40.340 skirt at the bottom.

00:23:41.200 It's like,

00:23:41.560 where's the rest of it?

00:23:42.740 I've become the old lady who's like,

00:23:44.040 where's the rest of it?

00:23:44.920 As my Nana said to me,

00:23:46.280 the one time she saw my dress,

00:23:47.640 she goes,

00:23:47.900 is that your dress or your petticoat?

00:23:49.980 I'm like,

00:23:50.300 what the hell is a petticoat?

00:23:52.220 But I've become that lady.

00:23:54.460 But when you were probably 18,

00:23:57.240 19,

00:23:57.660 20,

00:23:58.360 that's how you wanted to dress.

00:24:00.240 Or even when you were probably 14,

00:24:01.820 15,

00:24:02.260 that's what you want to do.

00:24:03.400 And then we all become,

00:24:04.860 I don't know.

00:24:06.460 I know you see him through a different light.

00:24:08.600 Well,

00:24:08.800 I'm really hoping she's going to follow my husband to bring it for

00:24:11.440 full circle,

00:24:12.160 his fashion sensibilities,

00:24:14.120 because I believe the reason Doug arrived to me at 34,

00:24:19.120 never married,

00:24:19.940 good looking and great job.

00:24:21.460 And all that is because of his fashion sense.

00:24:24.600 Now I have improved it.

00:24:25.740 The Mickey Mouse shirt with the,

00:24:27.260 with the shorts is an improvement over what came to me,

00:24:29.880 Andrew,

00:24:30.220 which was,

00:24:30.960 and I'll never,

00:24:31.740 for date number one.

00:24:33.020 Okay.

00:24:33.220 Number one,

00:24:34.100 where,

00:24:34.280 you know,

00:24:34.520 you're trying to impress.

00:24:35.680 I was already on the air.

00:24:37.360 I would,

00:24:37.540 nobody knew me,

00:24:38.260 but it's like,

00:24:38.700 okay,

00:24:38.880 you're going out with this cute girl from Fox news.

00:24:41.520 You try a little,

00:24:42.980 you try,

00:24:43.360 ask somebody.

00:24:44.620 He wore high waisted,

00:24:47.180 khaki pants with like the flap front,

00:24:50.120 you know,

00:24:50.300 like the flaps over and you like slide it in Tracy.

00:24:54.060 Yes.

00:24:54.520 Like a Dick Tracy.

00:24:55.520 Yeah.

00:24:55.660 Like not even like with a button and a zipper,

00:24:57.880 like a flat front and a yellow golf shirt.

00:25:02.880 I'm like,

00:25:03.260 and his hair was all down.

00:25:05.320 I'm like,

00:25:05.920 Oh my God.

00:25:06.880 Talk about a diamond in the rough.

00:25:11.380 You really had to want it.

00:25:13.160 And I do believe it was sabotaged by the women who came before me,

00:25:16.400 you know,

00:25:16.940 who were like,

00:25:17.580 they never tried to dress them up a little so that he could get even,

00:25:21.020 you know,

00:25:21.680 reach his potential.

00:25:23.400 And then,

00:25:24.000 you know,

00:25:24.220 I was like,

00:25:24.900 I was confident enough to do that.

00:25:26.300 Andrew,

00:25:26.500 I was like,

00:25:26.940 I'm going to get you the nice,

00:25:27.880 threads three months into our relationship when I was still making no

00:25:30.780 money.

00:25:31.020 I was new at Fox.

00:25:31.820 I was not making dope.

00:25:32.800 And I gave him the nicest Christmas of his life.

00:25:35.020 He's like,

00:25:35.340 you are the most generous person.

00:25:37.040 Like that's just me.

00:25:39.920 This is so funny.

00:25:41.100 My wife dresses every single day.

00:25:44.560 I'm not surprised.

00:25:45.280 Like completely transforms my style.

00:25:48.800 Whatever I wear,

00:25:49.600 she picks out.

00:25:50.520 It's amazing.

00:25:51.220 Yeah.

00:25:51.420 There's something.

00:25:52.740 Yeah.

00:25:53.160 You need a,

00:25:54.260 that's beautiful.

00:25:55.020 Good.

00:25:55.500 Yeah.

00:25:55.680 You want that's her confidence.

00:25:56.580 That's her confidence in your love and your relationship.

00:26:00.040 She's not worried.

00:26:01.100 Despite all the adulation you get on stage.

00:26:04.000 She's like,

00:26:04.440 he's mine.

00:26:05.020 I got this.

00:26:06.240 That is true.

00:26:07.340 That's a good point.

00:26:07.920 Like if she was putting me in ugly stuff,

00:26:09.680 that'd be her way of being like,

00:26:11.760 here,

00:26:11.900 put this on.

00:26:12.480 Nobody's going to fuck you.

00:26:14.040 Yeah,

00:26:14.400 exactly.

00:26:15.500 It's got to be hard for somebody who's married to somebody like you.

00:26:18.500 Like I watched the special and it was great by the way.

00:26:23.320 And I love how you begin it with the like Andrew.

00:26:26.760 I don't know that guy.

00:26:27.740 Cause I don't know sports.

00:26:28.380 Is he like a boxing announcer?

00:26:30.080 What is he?

00:26:30.400 He's the announcer for the UFC.

00:26:32.280 His name is Bruce Buffer.

00:26:33.940 And that was amazing.

00:26:34.780 Yeah.

00:26:35.080 It got me very pumped.

00:26:36.600 But I was thinking like,

00:26:37.920 it must be hard for a wife.

00:26:39.440 You know,

00:26:40.560 I don't just to have a husband who's on stage to so many adoring fans.

00:26:45.700 Like it would be a little threatening.

00:26:48.480 Yeah,

00:26:48.900 of course I could absolutely see that.

00:26:51.760 And,

00:26:51.980 uh,

00:26:52.320 no,

00:26:52.840 yeah,

00:26:54.440 a hundred percent.

00:26:55.200 I think it's hard when there's just more people that are interested in

00:26:57.720 like,

00:26:57.960 you know,

00:26:58.120 what's your significant other is doing and,

00:27:00.640 you know,

00:27:00.700 they develop attachments to it,

00:27:02.540 but,

00:27:02.860 uh,

00:27:03.020 absolutely.

00:27:04.100 I think I do a good job of like,

00:27:06.300 yeah,

00:27:06.560 I don't know.

00:27:06.900 I think I do a good job of comforting her and not only not really

00:27:10.080 comforting her,

00:27:10.680 but just like making her feel comfortable in our relationship.

00:27:13.020 Like I don't try to hide our relationship in any way.

00:27:15.700 Like most people who know me know that I have a life and that I love my

00:27:18.740 life very much.

00:27:20.060 And,

00:27:20.580 um,

00:27:21.360 I think if it was like something that I hid,

00:27:23.480 I think that would induce way more insecurity,

00:27:25.900 but because I'm include her.

00:27:28.200 Yeah.

00:27:28.900 Now she doesn't want it.

00:27:30.200 Like she doesn't want attention.

00:27:32.180 She does not want people to look at her.

00:27:34.660 She,

00:27:34.760 which is like really awesome.

00:27:37.160 But,

00:27:37.380 um,

00:27:38.620 yeah,

00:27:39.240 but,

00:27:39.520 uh,

00:27:40.020 but yeah,

00:27:40.500 that,

00:27:40.800 that can definitely be a struggle for her.

00:27:42.540 Well,

00:27:42.700 so what'd you do in the therapy?

00:27:43.780 If you don't mind me asking,

00:27:45.160 like,

00:27:45.300 was it,

00:27:45.700 you know,

00:27:46.460 like pre-tina or you got to go to a few meetings with a priest before you

00:27:49.900 get married?

00:27:50.300 Or was it real therapy?

00:27:52.000 No,

00:27:52.240 no.

00:27:52.460 It was more just like,

00:27:53.980 how do we,

00:27:55.240 well,

00:27:55.500 if we're getting into an argument,

00:27:57.740 how do we both won't want to fight?

00:28:00.680 So how do we find a way to deescalate?

00:28:03.980 So that fight doesn't happen.

00:28:05.580 And like,

00:28:07.340 that's when people say like,

00:28:08.300 it's all about communication.

00:28:09.140 It sounds like a trope and it's so fucking corny to even say,

00:28:12.760 but it is true.

00:28:13.500 And by,

00:28:14.020 but by communication,

00:28:14.820 it's all about finding a way to say the thing you feel in a way that

00:28:19.420 doesn't trigger all the fucked up shit that your partner had to go

00:28:23.740 through in their life.

00:28:25.560 You know?

00:28:26.380 So for me,

00:28:27.380 I'm,

00:28:27.900 I,

00:28:28.120 I,

00:28:28.320 I do this.

00:28:29.040 I love this one.

00:28:29.800 I go,

00:28:30.200 why do you want to fight?

00:28:31.880 In my mind,

00:28:32.600 I thought that that was like an innocent statement.

00:28:34.160 It was like,

00:28:34.620 well,

00:28:34.720 I don't want to fight.

00:28:35.600 Clearly you do.

00:28:36.600 But for her,

00:28:37.500 she's interpreting that as antagonistic.

00:28:39.500 It's like,

00:28:39.940 you're wrong.

00:28:40.780 You've done something wrong.

00:28:41.640 You want this.

00:28:42.360 You want to ruin the night.

00:28:44.160 So simply like shifting that and just being like,

00:28:47.240 I feel sad that we would end up ruining the night by potentially

00:28:52.180 fighting.

00:28:52.820 That makes me feel sad.

00:28:53.880 Cause I don't want to do that.

00:28:55.140 Now there's no pressure on her.

00:28:56.280 Like she did anything wrong.

00:28:57.180 And she gets,

00:28:57.940 gets to be vulnerable in that moment too and go,

00:28:59.800 yeah,

00:28:59.940 that would make me sad also.

00:29:02.500 You know?

00:29:03.120 So it was just like these,

00:29:03.940 like,

00:29:04.520 it's just basically learning like better ways of communicating things and

00:29:08.280 learning better ways of basically saying things.

00:29:09.980 So it doesn't just continue to escalate this interaction.

00:29:13.180 But the tricky thing about therapy is like,

00:29:15.220 sometimes a therapist tries to fix shit that I don't want fixed.

00:29:19.360 Like what?

00:29:20.600 You know,

00:29:21.060 like if me and my wife were really codependent,

00:29:23.260 like I like that buddy.

00:29:24.660 Don't,

00:29:25.180 we don't need all this.

00:29:26.840 Some of your damage is important to your act.

00:29:29.980 Like you can't get rid of all of it.

00:29:31.700 Yeah.

00:29:32.260 Listen,

00:29:32.620 let's just,

00:29:33.300 I need all the cart there.

00:29:35.160 Like,

00:29:35.380 you know what I mean?

00:29:35.840 Like she gets annoyed,

00:29:37.620 you know,

00:29:38.000 if I fart under the covers,

00:29:39.400 like,

00:29:39.740 well,

00:29:39.860 let's work on that.

00:29:41.360 And let's get through that.

00:29:42.820 No,

00:29:43.220 do not.

00:29:43.640 There should be no bodily functions at all in front of each other other than what happens

00:29:47.180 naturally when you're actually going at it.

00:29:49.240 I'm not even going to get you started.

00:29:51.540 Talk to me,

00:29:52.320 Doug.

00:29:52.600 I got a great guy who's going to fix your wife.

00:29:55.980 Now,

00:29:56.400 wait,

00:29:56.600 I've got,

00:29:57.020 I've got,

00:29:57.480 as you were talking about that,

00:29:59.140 I actually realized something about my own marriage as you were saying that.

00:30:02.180 Okay.

00:30:02.420 And I will offer it to you as a possibility.

00:30:05.640 Please.

00:30:06.340 Both partners have to be in on it though.

00:30:08.500 It's never been spoken between the two of us.

00:30:10.220 I'm just now kind of seeing it.

00:30:13.320 If I have a problem,

00:30:14.560 something he's done,

00:30:15.220 or he has a problem with something I've done,

00:30:16.360 we'll raise it.

00:30:18.440 And very shortly into the discussion,

00:30:21.180 the person who's complaining starts to say what their part in causing that behavior was.

00:30:28.840 And the other person starts to own it.

00:30:30.720 Like,

00:30:31.140 it's almost like a role reversal.

00:30:32.960 You know what I mean?

00:30:33.360 Like,

00:30:34.140 I'm so pissed that you have been going out with your friends for the past two weeks and you've paid me no attention.

00:30:40.500 Like,

00:30:40.780 that's me.

00:30:41.380 Right.

00:30:41.900 And,

00:30:42.280 and like shortly into it,

00:30:44.200 I'd be kind of switched to.

00:30:48.180 It's not your fault.

00:30:49.380 You know,

00:30:49.660 I didn't say anything and I told you you should go out.

00:30:52.600 And I told you I had other things going on when silently I was resentful.

00:30:56.720 And so then you did it again,

00:30:58.360 thinking everything was fine.

00:30:59.320 And he would soon switch it into.

00:31:01.840 No,

00:31:02.280 I should have been more attentive and I'm embarrassed that I didn't notice that it was bothering.

00:31:05.540 Like,

00:31:06.080 it's almost like if you can quickly get into,

00:31:08.800 I'm going to be my own prosecutor,

00:31:10.360 but he's got to be his own prosecutor for this to work.

00:31:13.060 It's very effective.

00:31:14.680 It,

00:31:15.000 it's like,

00:31:15.700 it's kind of like what I was saying before.

00:31:16.960 It's like,

00:31:17.240 if you're speaking about your feelings or your accountability,

00:31:20.520 if it's all on you,

00:31:21.880 there's nothing to be defensive about in a fight.

00:31:24.760 Right.

00:31:25.460 If it's like,

00:31:26.340 Hey,

00:31:26.560 I feel sad that,

00:31:28.100 or I'm frustrated that,

00:31:29.580 and I actually did this thing to make you feel okay.

00:31:32.380 But then I let it built up.

00:31:33.540 And now I resent you for something that I even created.

00:31:35.820 Now he doesn't even feel that bad.

00:31:37.280 If anything,

00:31:37.900 he wants to apologize to you.

00:31:39.340 He's like,

00:31:39.800 I don't want you to feel bad.

00:31:41.280 And I love that you want to be with me.

00:31:42.680 And that makes me feel awesome.

00:31:44.120 I didn't even know you wanted to be with me that week.

00:31:45.900 You were telling me to go away so much.

00:31:47.820 Right.

00:31:48.040 So yeah,

00:31:48.920 I think that's a great strategy.

00:31:50.200 You guys like organically have what a lot of people really need to work through and work

00:31:55.020 towards.

00:31:55.400 Well,

00:31:56.100 I definitely think it would not work if the other person was like,

00:31:59.220 yes,

00:31:59.420 you did cause this.

00:32:00.660 Yes.

00:32:01.040 Screw you.

00:32:01.920 You know,

00:32:02.240 then you'd go right back into your prosecution mode.

00:32:05.140 But if both people either implicitly or explicitly sort of agree,

00:32:10.740 this is a chance to examine my own behavior.

00:32:12.980 Cause this person bringing this to me is someone I love.

00:32:15.600 Who's not constantly on me and a pain in the ass,

00:32:18.620 you know,

00:32:18.780 like somebody I want to listen to and I respect.

00:32:21.540 Yeah.

00:32:22.060 Things get resolved quickly.

00:32:23.400 And I'll give you one other tip before we go to break.

00:32:25.500 Doug is very good at when there's like a frosty patch.

00:32:28.900 We just have to go into our own corners and like have alone time at coming back in.

00:32:33.700 He never minds being the first person to come back in,

00:32:36.080 which is good.

00:32:36.560 Cause you know,

00:32:36.980 I'm Irish and Italian and I just can't give in.

00:32:39.680 And he'll come in and he'll say,

00:32:42.320 I accept your apology and I forgive you.

00:32:47.560 That's my shit.

00:32:52.380 I always laugh.

00:32:54.240 No matter how mad I am,

00:32:55.880 if there's enough distance from the fight,

00:32:57.680 I always makes me laugh.

00:33:01.240 All right.

00:33:02.300 Wedding advice.

00:33:04.180 Yeah.

00:33:04.640 I mean,

00:33:04.920 you're like already in love with him from the beach.

00:33:07.020 So I think,

00:33:07.500 you know,

00:33:08.320 you two are going to need to meet at some point.

00:33:10.660 Oh,

00:33:11.020 we're going back to the Borgo together.

00:33:13.520 He didn't tell you.

00:33:15.260 We're having a husband's vacation.

00:33:17.140 It's the Italian way.

00:33:18.420 You can only imagine.

00:33:20.580 Stand by.

00:33:21.860 So much more.

00:33:22.360 We actually have to get to.

00:33:23.820 They're going straight to perfect.

00:33:25.640 Oh God.

00:33:29.080 Don't go away much more with Andrew Schultz,

00:33:31.240 including some clips from his,

00:33:33.140 from the special they attempted to ban.

00:33:34.920 But it's coming out on Sunday.

00:33:37.300 Now streaming on Paramount Plus.

00:33:40.120 Someone is trying to frame us.

00:33:42.380 Until our names are cleared.

00:33:44.900 We're fugitives from interval.

00:33:46.700 Like Bonnie and Clyde with better snacks.

00:33:50.160 Espionage.

00:33:50.780 You still as good a shot as you used to be.

00:33:53.880 Better.

00:33:54.600 Is there love language.

00:33:56.080 We like to walk that fine line between techno thriller

00:33:58.540 and romantic comedy.

00:34:01.400 We make up our own rules.

00:34:03.160 NCIS Tony and Ziva.

00:34:04.920 Now streaming on Paramount Plus.

00:34:12.760 Andrew Schultz is with us today.

00:34:14.480 His special infamous.

00:34:16.580 Comes out this Sunday.

00:34:17.960 You can get it at theandrewschultz.com

00:34:21.020 and it's well worth your time and small amount of dough.

00:34:25.100 If you want to laugh for an hour at very inappropriate content,

00:34:28.820 you will love it.

00:34:30.980 And one of the bits I love in there,

00:34:32.720 Andrew,

00:34:33.060 is speaking of Emma,

00:34:34.540 how you realized very early on something I,

00:34:38.720 I know and most women know,

00:34:40.560 which is women are obsessed with crime.

00:34:43.040 We're obsessed with crime.

00:34:45.600 Here's a small clip from,

00:34:47.560 from infamous where Andrew talks about this realization in his marriage to Emma.

00:34:52.440 I learned a lot of shit about my girl when we moved in together.

00:34:55.740 I learned she's a fucking psychopath.

00:34:59.340 Just based on her Netflix cube.

00:35:01.160 That's it.

00:35:01.740 Just,

00:35:02.460 I turned on her Netflix.

00:35:03.700 It's just every type of serial killer documentary you could imagine.

00:35:07.220 There's a guy who kills nuns,

00:35:08.620 guy who kills hookers,

00:35:09.860 guy who kills kids,

00:35:11.180 cooking show.

00:35:11.840 Who watches,

00:35:13.040 who watches six hours of serial killers

00:35:15.660 and then British Bake Off to wash it down?

00:35:19.680 How many of you ladies in here enjoy serial killer shows?

00:35:25.520 This is why you don't like sports.

00:35:27.040 I just want to let you know.

00:35:29.220 Sports aren't violent enough for you.

00:35:32.360 You'll be watching football.

00:35:33.620 You see someone unconscious on the ground and you're like,

00:35:35.560 okay,

00:35:35.920 but why is no one raping him?

00:35:37.320 What's going on?

00:35:38.220 What's going on here?

00:35:39.500 I mean,

00:35:39.820 you already have a mask and gloves on.

00:35:41.980 No one's going to know it's you.

00:35:42.920 Put a dick in that fucking man.

00:35:44.980 Make this entertaining place.

00:35:48.500 Who would say such things?

00:35:50.660 I mean.

00:35:51.260 It's amazing.

00:35:53.580 It's so true.

00:35:54.980 My God,

00:35:55.300 like I give Doug a hard time for something like Game of Thrones,

00:35:58.720 you know,

00:35:58.960 like it's so violent.

00:36:00.060 But how do I spend all my time listening to stories about murders

00:36:03.440 and torture and serial killers?

00:36:07.060 Why is that?

00:36:07.980 Why do you think that is?

00:36:09.040 I actually do have a theory on this.

00:36:11.300 I believe it's because we're the victims of all the crime.

00:36:13.980 We're the victims.

00:36:14.900 So you grow up and every news story you overhear,

00:36:18.360 or even if you're not like making your kids watch the nightly news,

00:36:21.520 which is a form of torture,

00:36:23.240 they see the newspaper headlines.

00:36:25.020 You walk past the bodega.

00:36:26.640 You see the,

00:36:27.200 you know,

00:36:27.400 the headline of the New York post,

00:36:28.680 whatever,

00:36:29.460 you know,

00:36:29.820 you're the one getting killed.

00:36:30.920 You're the one getting raped.

00:36:32.040 All the,

00:36:32.580 all the victims look just like you.

00:36:33.980 And so you grow up.

00:36:35.660 And of course you,

00:36:36.120 then you have responsible parents who are like,

00:36:38.000 you're the one that the crime happens to,

00:36:39.800 you know,

00:36:39.940 you're going to get raped.

00:36:40.660 Be careful.

00:36:41.400 Don't go out with this guy,

00:36:42.240 but so it's like all of society is kind of telling you,

00:36:45.940 this is very dangerous for you.

00:36:47.860 You got to wait.

00:36:48.300 And then I think we're working something out.

00:36:50.500 Yeah.

00:36:51.140 Yeah.

00:36:51.380 There's something to that for sure.

00:36:53.300 Like we are attracted to our fears.

00:36:56.040 That is,

00:36:56.980 that is certainly the case.

00:36:58.700 Yeah.

00:36:59.000 And you learn,

00:36:59.740 you know,

00:36:59.920 you learn you're in the special,

00:37:02.680 like you learn what not to do.

00:37:04.220 Although I know in the special,

00:37:05.260 you say Emma does not learn what not to do.

00:37:07.980 At all.

00:37:08.480 Like it is.

00:37:09.840 I mean,

00:37:10.060 there's a joke in it,

00:37:10.740 but it's absolutely shocking.

00:37:11.760 We were watching that documentary about this guy who would,

00:37:14.120 who would,

00:37:14.580 you know,

00:37:15.260 rape women jogging in the park at night.

00:37:16.660 And she literally stopped the documentary and went for a jog.

00:37:21.380 And I couldn't believe it.

00:37:24.320 I was like,

00:37:24.820 you're not learning anything here.

00:37:26.580 Like,

00:37:26.780 it's almost like you're going to be on the next season.

00:37:29.640 Like,

00:37:30.000 like,

00:37:31.060 is that,

00:37:32.160 will you do anything to make it?

00:37:34.100 Like what,

00:37:34.400 what is happening right now?

00:37:36.040 I just,

00:37:36.480 I don't.

00:37:38.080 Yeah.

00:37:38.340 Like I'm not,

00:37:39.440 I,

00:37:39.620 yeah,

00:37:39.980 I'm like,

00:37:40.560 I'm,

00:37:40.900 I'm crippled by fear when,

00:37:43.140 when it is put in my face.

00:37:44.140 Like,

00:37:44.400 like even if I'm,

00:37:45.740 when I was in the ocean,

00:37:46.640 even in Italy,

00:37:47.380 I thought that there were sharks.

00:37:49.520 Like I grew up surfing.

00:37:50.520 I still think they're sharks and it's just jobs.

00:37:52.200 It's the only thing.

00:37:53.460 And it made me feel like there's always sharks for the rest of my life.

00:37:56.440 So we stay away from it.

00:37:58.100 And yeah,

00:37:58.860 I don't know.

00:37:59.360 Women have this amazing ability to like,

00:38:02.060 like be terrified of something,

00:38:04.880 indulge in the content that terrifies them and then continue just moving on with their day.

00:38:10.740 I'm not going to reveal the joke about Ted Bundy because people should experience that as I did

00:38:16.660 and laugh out loud when you get to it.

00:38:18.640 But I did tell Doug and our friend Hammer,

00:38:21.000 who's visiting us about it.

00:38:22.220 And they were hysterical.

00:38:23.860 Like I kind of just gave them a bit about the Ted Bundy bit.

00:38:26.880 And now of course they both want the password so they can watch it in advance of Sunday.

00:38:30.000 But I didn't give it to them,

00:38:30.880 Andrew.

00:38:31.420 You can give it to them.

00:38:32.420 You can give it to them.

00:38:33.160 That was one of the jokes that they wanted to cut.

00:38:35.340 The streamer wanted to cut.

00:38:36.880 What?

00:38:37.600 About Ted Bundy?

00:38:39.080 Yeah.

00:38:39.440 I thought that was weird.

00:38:42.700 But it's like,

00:38:43.960 yeah,

00:38:44.380 there was one specific opinion.

00:38:46.080 That's probably the one you were talking about.

00:38:47.760 But they were like,

00:38:48.760 I don't know if we can say it's a joke.

00:38:50.580 The whole thing is absurd.

00:38:51.660 I think the thing about jokes,

00:38:52.660 a lot of people don't realize is that they're not true,

00:38:55.140 but the feelings are true.

00:38:56.980 Right?

00:38:57.240 Like we have these feelings that are messed up.

00:39:00.000 Right?

00:39:00.340 And these things just exist within us.

00:39:02.500 And that's what's relatable about jokes.

00:39:04.240 Like even the old Borsbell comics,

00:39:05.960 the take my wife,

00:39:07.080 please.

00:39:07.480 It's like,

00:39:08.020 you don't really want someone to take your wife,

00:39:09.860 but sometimes you have this feeling where you're like,

00:39:12.600 yeah,

00:39:12.820 I'm somebody to do her.

00:39:13.840 Right?

00:39:14.080 And that's funny to you because,

00:39:16.240 right?

00:39:16.740 Because the person that you love more than anything in this world,

00:39:18.840 you also had this feeling that is completely contradictory to that.

00:39:22.740 And you're like,

00:39:23.160 wow,

00:39:23.400 how can these,

00:39:24.100 how can this paradox exist within me?

00:39:25.800 That is humor right there.

00:39:27.480 So I think that to be honest,

00:39:30.060 I,

00:39:30.420 I,

00:39:30.700 in a weird way,

00:39:31.200 it's such a compliment to,

00:39:32.660 to John Stewart.

00:39:33.360 I think John Stewart was so genius and so prolific.

00:39:36.500 I think that he at doing comedy,

00:39:40.080 that was also true,

00:39:40.960 that I think he like set an expectation for comedy to be true.

00:39:46.260 And I think a whole bunch of kids grew up watching it going,

00:39:50.420 Oh,

00:39:50.560 that is what comedy is supposed to be.

00:39:51.880 It's,

00:39:52.160 it's,

00:39:52.380 it's supposed to be true.

00:39:53.600 It's supposed to speak truth to power.

00:39:54.960 Or when even John himself would be like,

00:39:57.320 no,

00:39:57.580 it's not at all.

00:39:58.320 Comedy is supposed to be funny.

00:39:59.560 So whatever the funniest thing,

00:40:00.800 sometimes it's bad.

00:40:01.680 Sometimes it's good.

00:40:02.500 Sometimes it's shocking.

00:40:03.540 Sometimes it's adorable,

00:40:04.520 but usually there's some sort of victim.

00:40:07.060 I mean,

00:40:07.280 victimless comedy doesn't even exist.

00:40:09.120 I think that's why it's so hard to be funny and woke because the idea of

00:40:11.760 wokeness is nobody's a,

00:40:13.300 nobody's a victim.

00:40:14.180 It's like,

00:40:14.460 okay,

00:40:14.680 well then what are we going to make fun of?

00:40:16.600 Yeah.

00:40:16.780 Every place is a safe space.

00:40:18.780 Yeah.

00:40:19.600 Comedy is the last thing that should be safe.

00:40:21.000 So wait a minute that,

00:40:23.740 so that reminds me to ask you about the streaming thing,

00:40:26.360 because one of the other jokes I saw you tweet about that they didn't want

00:40:29.540 you to get into was do a whole bit on Michael Jackson.

00:40:32.540 And it is lightly defensive of Michael Jackson.

00:40:36.800 Again,

00:40:37.300 I won't steal the thunder,

00:40:38.700 but so that's ridiculous.

00:40:41.760 All I could think was they just,

00:40:43.460 Netflix just paid Dave Chappelle,

00:40:45.560 $20 million a special.

00:40:47.940 Yeah.

00:40:48.460 He does a big,

00:40:49.420 like,

00:40:50.140 forgive the term,

00:40:51.200 full throated defense of Michael Jackson in the,

00:40:55.140 like,

00:40:55.360 how could they say that won't fly?

00:40:57.440 How could they say that's over the line?

00:40:59.500 I think everything's like a,

00:41:00.860 you know,

00:41:01.360 a risk proposition.

00:41:02.600 And I think that like you,

00:41:04.080 you look at a guy who's at,

00:41:05.860 you know,

00:41:06.400 Dave size and you're like,

00:41:08.020 okay,

00:41:08.220 well that's worth the risk.

00:41:09.280 And maybe they looked at me and they were like,

00:41:10.780 okay,

00:41:10.940 this isn't worth the risk.

00:41:12.840 And,

00:41:13.340 uh,

00:41:13.660 you know,

00:41:13.980 like each streamer has to protect their bottom line.

00:41:17.540 They have to protect their business.

00:41:18.860 And,

00:41:19.300 uh,

00:41:19.840 I don't even,

00:41:21.020 I'm not even like upset at the streamers,

00:41:23.300 but I'm,

00:41:23.620 I'm just at a point where it's like,

00:41:25.660 I'm not going to edit my jokes anymore because I built my career without the streamers.

00:41:30.400 And I was able to build this career by doing the jokes the exact way I wanted to.

00:41:34.400 And because I did that,

00:41:36.420 I amassed this following and I was able to tour around the world.

00:41:39.760 And,

00:41:40.220 you know,

00:41:41.000 I,

00:41:41.360 I'm,

00:41:41.680 I'm from New York city.

00:41:42.720 I got to do two sold out shows of radio city music hall from posting videos of me doing standup online.

00:41:50.240 So I,

00:41:50.900 I never felt like I needed the streamer.

00:41:54.040 I don't need them for validation.

00:41:55.560 The people validate me more than anything.

00:41:57.620 What I wanted to do was do like a huge spectacle of a special because I think that's a really cool challenge and something very exciting.

00:42:04.920 But in terms of editing my jokes,

00:42:06.280 I wasn't going to do it.

00:42:07.740 And,

00:42:08.000 um,

00:42:08.480 yeah,

00:42:09.320 I just felt like,

00:42:10.300 I felt like if I could find another way,

00:42:13.220 if I could find another way that not only would I not have to edit my jokes,

00:42:17.060 I think editing jokes will be done.

00:42:18.480 Like once we can prove,

00:42:19.500 and again,

00:42:19.780 it's up to the people.

00:42:20.500 If they support it,

00:42:21.300 then this works.

00:42:22.000 If they don't,

00:42:22.660 then nobody will do it again.

00:42:23.520 But if they,

00:42:25.060 if we prove that you can make more money or as much money doing it on your own,

00:42:29.320 as you could with a streamer,

00:42:30.920 there's really no point to go with the streamer and get notes.

00:42:35.840 That's right.

00:42:36.500 You know what I mean?

00:42:37.200 Like,

00:42:37.500 so that's right.

00:42:38.760 How do you,

00:42:39.480 how do you make comedy the most pure?

00:42:41.560 That's how I feel.

00:42:42.180 Even in my line of work where it's like,

00:42:43.560 it's so wonderful.

00:42:44.340 I have a partnership with serious,

00:42:45.540 but they don't own my show.

00:42:46.900 And you know,

00:42:47.580 if it doesn't work out,

00:42:48.740 I'll still be fine.

00:42:49.500 And I'll just do my podcast.

00:42:50.700 And,

00:42:51.160 but there there's such a delight.

00:42:52.840 Hey,

00:42:53.280 it's nice to have a nice cooperative business partner that will let me say

00:42:55.780 whatever I want.

00:42:56.720 But if there's a delight in running my own independent business,

00:42:59.580 and that's what you're doing,

00:43:00.700 you're basically saying I can work around the system where I'm beholden to no one

00:43:04.400 and my product will rise or fail entirely on its own merit.

00:43:07.820 That's it.

00:43:08.560 That's it.

00:43:09.160 It's like the future is ownership,

00:43:10.480 not censorship.

00:43:11.340 And I think the companies that get that are starting to succeed.

00:43:14.640 And I think the creators that get that are succeeding.

00:43:17.200 And that's why I was able to take this gamble,

00:43:19.340 you know,

00:43:19.920 right now is I believe that people at the end of the day want the best version

00:43:24.900 of the content.

00:43:25.780 Right.

00:43:26.000 And I think that was the great disruption of the internet.

00:43:28.960 Like the internet has disrupted every,

00:43:30.540 you know,

00:43:30.980 facet of society.

00:43:31.880 Right.

00:43:32.180 Like we've seen it just recently happened.

00:43:34.480 Probably,

00:43:34.920 you know,

00:43:35.020 the whole GameStop thing,

00:43:36.200 that was just internet disruption in the financial marketplace.

00:43:39.780 Right.

00:43:40.260 Like with standup,

00:43:41.740 it was,

00:43:42.440 I guess,

00:43:42.660 you know,

00:43:42.820 me and my colleagues putting stuff out on YouTube and Instagram,

00:43:45.620 and that disrupting the institutions like comedy central,

00:43:49.380 which are no longer relevant.

00:43:50.520 Like,

00:43:51.160 so in every version you see that disruption with Joe Rogan,

00:43:53.860 it's podcasting and how that disrupted,

00:43:55.640 you know,

00:43:55.860 traditional media.

00:43:57.440 So I think that we're just pushing further towards putting out the exact

00:44:02.160 content you want,

00:44:03.040 because once you feel the raw,

00:44:04.600 once you feel like the pure,

00:44:05.720 the real thing that's water,

00:44:06.840 that's not watered down,

00:44:07.800 it's very hard to watch the watered down version.

00:44:11.400 You know,

00:44:11.780 it's,

00:44:12.160 it's,

00:44:12.500 it's very hard to go from like an authentic standup comedy,

00:44:15.620 comedy moment to like watching an opening monologue on a late night

00:44:19.500 television show.

00:44:20.840 It's right.

00:44:22.400 It seems ridiculous.

00:44:23.780 It's,

00:44:24.060 it almost seems like somebody's pranking you.

00:44:26.840 You're like,

00:44:27.400 what's going on here?

00:44:29.900 So are you going to tell us who the streamer was?

00:44:34.380 I mean,

00:44:35.040 people have like,

00:44:35.860 here's the thing.

00:44:36.360 I'm not,

00:44:36.980 I'm not,

00:44:37.380 I don't say the streamer because I have business with all the streamers

00:44:41.380 right now.

00:44:41.680 So my issue isn't really with streamers essentially.

00:44:44.420 It's just with standup,

00:44:45.400 with standup.

00:44:45.980 I am the most pure because that's the thing I love more than anything in

00:44:48.040 the world.

00:44:48.660 Right.

00:44:48.880 That's what I'm going to be around.

00:44:50.480 I care about like a jungle in South America.

00:44:54.360 Some people have said,

00:44:55.720 you know,

00:44:56.060 some people have questioned if it was one with the jungle in South America,

00:44:59.860 but

00:44:59.960 TMZ reports.

00:45:01.900 Say again.

00:45:03.000 TMZ is reporting that it was Amazon.

00:45:05.120 And TMZ is never wrong.

00:45:07.220 You know,

00:45:07.480 it's so funny about all these articles came out and,

00:45:10.500 and like every article goes,

00:45:14.100 we reached out for Schultz for comments and he didn't comment.

00:45:17.260 Nobody reached out to me.

00:45:18.740 Right.

00:45:18.920 Right.

00:45:19.400 Like,

00:45:19.700 like you just,

00:45:21.020 you just say whatever you want.

00:45:23.180 Dude.

00:45:23.320 Someone was just like,

00:45:24.060 Andrew.schultz at Yahoo.com.

00:45:26.820 Oh,

00:45:27.020 no,

00:45:27.160 weirdly,

00:45:27.560 no one.

00:45:28.600 And then they'll like say these numbers,

00:45:30.680 like he bought it out for a million.

00:45:32.420 I was like,

00:45:32.880 I wish,

00:45:34.760 I wish it was only that.

00:45:36.760 What?

00:45:37.040 You know what I mean?

00:45:37.360 Like if you're going to lie,

00:45:38.520 lie up,

00:45:39.320 bro.

00:45:39.880 All right.

00:45:40.980 That's a lot though.

00:45:42.000 That's,

00:45:42.300 it's not like you're yet rolling in dough.

00:45:45.240 You've been successful,

00:45:46.120 but it's,

00:45:46.700 you're not,

00:45:47.220 you're not Jerry Seinfeld.

00:45:48.740 So that's a lot of dough.

00:45:50.860 Yeah,

00:45:51.440 it is.

00:45:52.120 So it's like,

00:45:54.260 yeah,

00:45:54.540 it is.

00:45:55.060 Uh,

00:45:55.540 it was a lot.

00:45:56.180 And it was a,

00:45:56.620 it was a big fucking decision to make.

00:45:58.120 And,

00:45:58.560 um,

00:45:59.140 I was cool enough and it's,

00:46:00.440 it's easier to make those decisions.

00:46:01.880 And I,

00:46:02.240 and I mean this sincerely,

00:46:03.240 like I have really brilliant guys that work with me and,

00:46:06.140 uh,

00:46:06.680 it's much easier to make that decision knowing that like the collective minds can

00:46:10.340 probably find a way to solve it.

00:46:11.760 And my wife has been super supportive and she believes in me.

00:46:14.580 That's,

00:46:15.040 that's fucking awesome.

00:46:15.760 So,

00:46:16.160 uh,

00:46:16.580 that made that easier,

00:46:18.140 but I'm also incompetent financially.

00:46:21.480 Like I don't know how to invest in anything.

00:46:23.520 I literally keep money in a bank like Scrooge McDuck.

00:46:26.160 I just fucking wait and I don't know what to do with it.

00:46:28.480 So it was also kind of like fun.

00:46:30.420 Like I was like,

00:46:30.760 okay,

00:46:30.940 finally I get to like spend some money on something that I think I can find a way to

00:46:35.400 profit.

00:46:35.900 Like,

00:46:36.440 I don't know how to make,

00:46:37.900 I don't know.

00:46:38.420 I don't know how to,

00:46:39.140 you know,

00:46:39.620 work the,

00:46:40.460 I don't know how to invest.

00:46:42.320 You know what I mean?

00:46:42.780 I don't know the right time to get in everybody.

00:46:45.080 It's always the right time.

00:46:45.840 The last six months,

00:46:46.780 everybody told you it was the right time to get in.

00:46:48.340 Now it's fucking hit the floor.

00:46:49.480 So I don't know,

00:46:50.020 but I do know if I invest in myself,

00:46:52.480 I can get a great return and probably a greater return than if I invest in Tesla,

00:46:56.480 if I invest in any of these companies.

00:46:57.860 So I've always tried to find things to invest in,

00:47:00.360 in myself and the guys.

00:47:01.900 Have you broken even yet?

00:47:03.440 Cause I know people are,

00:47:04.240 you know,

00:47:04.460 buying sort of the presale.

00:47:06.120 Are you like,

00:47:06.980 do you feel good about where you are?

00:47:08.800 I feel,

00:47:09.440 I feel like we're going to do good,

00:47:11.180 but it's like what Kobe said,

00:47:12.580 job's not done,

00:47:13.480 you know?

00:47:13.680 So I don't,

00:47:14.760 you know,

00:47:14.940 for me,

00:47:15.380 it wouldn't be a success if we break even,

00:47:17.140 it would be a success if we break the institution,

00:47:20.360 you know,

00:47:20.680 it would be a success.

00:47:21.940 We break the mold.

00:47:22.820 Right.

00:47:23.220 So if I can,

00:47:24.180 if I can do something where other comics start to go,

00:47:27.900 Oh,

00:47:28.020 that's how I want to release it.

00:47:29.560 Like I want to,

00:47:30.480 I want comedy to come out in theaters,

00:47:32.380 like a movie.

00:47:33.120 Like I want,

00:47:34.360 I want to eventize a comedy special,

00:47:36.500 you know,

00:47:36.700 like they're my heroes.

00:47:37.860 We'll put our comedy specials.

00:47:39.020 And then like a week later,

00:47:39.760 nobody's even talking about them.

00:47:40.900 Why don't we create an event around it?

00:47:42.980 There's no difference between this and a movie.

00:47:44.940 We spend the same amount of our lives and dedicate the same amount of our

00:47:47.480 lives to creating it and working on it and like workshopping it and

00:47:50.700 making it great.

00:47:51.680 And I think that the bigger an event,

00:47:54.000 a comedy special becomes,

00:47:55.340 the more effort we'll put into the specials,

00:47:58.020 you know?

00:47:58.800 And I think it just makes comedy better.

00:48:00.920 So I think,

00:48:01.720 I was saying this the other day.

00:48:03.100 I really think there's something special about it.

00:48:05.060 Going to a comedy show though,

00:48:06.360 because it's like this person is taking enormous risks,

00:48:09.780 you know,

00:48:10.580 of getting up there and sort of asking us to,

00:48:13.900 to laugh,

00:48:15.100 you know,

00:48:15.240 to go along with him all in an effort to entertain us all in an effort to

00:48:18.740 make us laugh,

00:48:19.700 to make us smile,

00:48:20.700 to amuse us,

00:48:21.820 to cause us to think about an issue in a different way.

00:48:24.060 Like that's such a gift that the comedian is trying to give us.

00:48:27.700 It's why hecklers are such jerks.

00:48:29.540 You know,

00:48:29.700 it's like,

00:48:29.980 that's totally not in the spirit of what's happening in this room.

00:48:34.020 And I think,

00:48:34.620 what is it?

00:48:34.980 15 bucks to get the ticket.

00:48:36.360 Like that is such a small price to pay,

00:48:38.060 even in these times for an hour of like tears down your face,

00:48:42.080 laughter,

00:48:42.600 the kind where you're like,

00:48:43.580 Oh my God,

00:48:44.200 I hate myself for laughing,

00:48:45.760 but I'm laughing so hard.

00:48:48.240 Yeah.

00:48:48.560 I think,

00:48:49.260 I think you're right in terms of like,

00:48:50.560 it is a vulnerable thing to go up there and go do it.

00:48:53.400 And I think that,

00:48:55.320 yeah,

00:48:56.120 I don't know.

00:48:56.360 I've gotten a lot of comments from people that I,

00:48:58.180 that I've showed,

00:48:58.840 you know,

00:48:58.980 parts of it too.

00:48:59.700 And I'm just putting up clips and,

00:49:01.360 and they were really shocked that I would,

00:49:02.980 you know,

00:49:03.780 also kind of like riff with the audience and kind of like make things up on

00:49:06.860 the spot in such like a high stakes moment like that.

00:49:11.240 But I don't know,

00:49:12.520 for me,

00:49:12.940 I,

00:49:13.320 I,

00:49:13.520 I really get off on that.

00:49:14.580 It kind of like locks me in,

00:49:15.780 in the moment,

00:49:16.520 you know,

00:49:16.860 it's like,

00:49:17.260 it keeps me present and it adds life to all the other jokes that are also kind

00:49:20.960 of scripted.

00:49:22.300 But,

00:49:22.820 but yeah,

00:49:23.400 for people,

00:49:24.020 I don't know if the reaction I've gotten is they thought it was really

00:49:26.840 unique that in a moment like this,

00:49:28.580 where you got one shot or two shots to just nail the special down to just

00:49:33.180 mess around with somebody in the audience and who knows where the fuck

00:49:37.420 it's going to go.

00:49:39.260 The reaction has been like,

00:49:41.840 for them,

00:49:42.480 it's been quite,

00:49:43.340 quite exciting to experience that.

00:49:45.100 And I'm,

00:49:45.680 I'm really happy that they've enjoyed that part of it.

00:49:48.640 Yeah.

00:49:48.820 Multiple audience members.

00:49:50.440 And he,

00:49:51.040 he,

00:49:51.260 it doesn't,

00:49:51.760 he doesn't care.

00:49:52.980 Black,

00:49:53.540 white latinx.

00:49:56.160 Let's go.

00:49:57.080 It doesn't matter.

00:49:58.580 You are fair game for Andrew because you showed up and you were there to play.

00:50:01.880 And so is he.

00:50:02.640 And those are some of the funniest exchanges that show how genuinely witty you are,

00:50:06.080 because it's clearly not expected.

00:50:07.760 All right.

00:50:08.100 Stand by much more to do with Andrew,

00:50:10.020 including he mentioned sharks.

00:50:11.600 There's breaking news on this,

00:50:14.140 the rise in shark attacks.

00:50:16.440 Stand by with that update.

00:50:17.880 He's with us for the whole show and you can pre-order his new special infamous at the Andrew

00:50:23.160 Schultz,

00:50:23.720 C A S C H U L Z.

00:50:25.760 dot com.

00:50:26.400 And remember,

00:50:27.180 you can find the Megan Kelly show live on Sirius XM triumph channel.

00:50:30.180 One 11 every weekday at noon East,

00:50:31.700 the full video show and clips by subscribing to youtube.com slash Megan Kelly and the audio

00:50:37.400 podcast.

00:50:37.940 You follow and download an Apple Spotify,

00:50:39.840 Pandora Stitcher,

00:50:40.640 or wherever you get your podcasts for free.

00:50:42.920 The very first time Andrew on was episode 74.

00:50:45.500 You'll love that one as well.

00:50:47.880 Now streaming on Paramount plus.

00:50:50.680 Someone is trying to frame us until our names are clear.

00:50:55.280 We're fugitives from interval like Bonnie and Clyde with better snacks.

00:51:00.720 Espionage.

00:51:01.360 You still as good a shot as you used to be.

00:51:04.460 Better is their love language.

00:51:06.560 We like to walk that fine line between techno thriller and romantic comedy.

00:51:11.960 We make up our own rules.

00:51:13.780 NCIS,

00:51:14.440 Tony and Ziva now streaming on Paramount plus.

00:51:21.320 So you mentioned sharks and I,

00:51:24.140 and I know you grew up in Jersey,

00:51:25.040 so I got,

00:51:25.540 I got a lot to go.

00:51:26.120 I grew up in,

00:51:26.840 I grew up in New York.

00:51:28.180 I grew up in Manhattan actually,

00:51:29.320 but I did spend my summers in long Island off of the long Island at a fire

00:51:33.580 Island.

00:51:34.120 My parents had a place out there.

00:51:36.260 Yeah.

00:51:36.800 That's the tie in right there.

00:51:38.080 Okay.

00:51:38.360 Because this week in the last two weeks alone,

00:51:41.900 there have been five shark attacks in long Island.

00:51:45.140 And four of them were in fire Island for four out of five,

00:51:48.500 including two within just hours this past Wednesday.

00:51:51.680 All right,

00:51:51.820 here's the headline.

00:51:52.780 Here are the headlines from,

00:51:54.220 from the report.

00:51:55.020 Dramatic increase that officials are calling quote,

00:51:57.720 the new normal four were on fire Island.

00:52:00.360 Fifth was on Jones beach.

00:52:01.420 No one seriously injured.

00:52:02.860 The sharks were 45 feet long.

00:52:04.360 They said they might've been tiger sharks or sand sharks,

00:52:07.240 but they were biting.

00:52:08.860 Um,

00:52:09.740 just to give you some perspective in all of 2021,

00:52:12.360 there were 47 quote,

00:52:15.160 unprovoked shark attacks in the United States.

00:52:17.920 Not sure what they're trying to say there.

00:52:20.120 Who provokes the shark?

00:52:22.120 Um,

00:52:22.960 but anyway,

00:52:23.480 47 in the entire year,

00:52:25.060 2021,

00:52:25.460 we've already had five in two weeks on long Island alone.

00:52:29.080 So,

00:52:29.660 you know,

00:52:30.080 the people injured a 57 year old swimming who had a laceration on his race,

00:52:33.980 but right,

00:52:34.460 but 33 year old lifeguard,

00:52:35.800 uh,

00:52:36.600 doing a rescue training attempt shark bit his hand 17 year old lifeguard again,

00:52:40.780 bitten on foot surfer bitten by a four foot tiger shark,

00:52:44.060 leaving a four inch gash knocked off his surfboard wave,

00:52:47.320 carried him to shore.

00:52:48.700 Uh,

00:52:49.140 11 hours later,

00:52:49.900 49 year old standing in waist deep water.

00:52:52.120 This is the one we all worry about,

00:52:53.380 uh,

00:52:53.980 bitten from behind on the left wrist and the buttocks walked out of the water.

00:52:59.500 Marine science center at Stony Brook conference,

00:53:01.400 the conservation expert says that these encounters are a sign.

00:53:03.820 We're doing things right.

00:53:05.920 Bringing back the sharks to the levels they used to be at.

00:53:09.140 What do you make of it?

00:53:11.220 I don't know if it's bringing back the sharks,

00:53:13.140 but maybe they're just,

00:53:14.440 maybe they don't have enough food out there because they don't like us.

00:53:17.680 Right.

00:53:17.880 I think we all,

00:53:18.720 we understand like humans aren't the most delicious animal.

00:53:21.620 I think that's probably why we're still around because we're not that good

00:53:25.780 at getting away and we're not that good at fighting.

00:53:28.660 And we like to like romanticize our past.

00:53:31.000 We're like,

00:53:31.260 we used to run in the planes forever.

00:53:32.800 It's like,

00:53:33.200 have you seen fucking animals in the Serengeti?

00:53:35.600 It's like these lines would tear us apart if we were delicious.

00:53:38.900 I think we just got lucky that we're not good.

00:53:42.180 We're just not tasty.

00:53:44.340 And if they have to,

00:53:46.520 they'll eat us,

00:53:47.080 but they're like way more tasty things than us.

00:53:50.380 And,

00:53:50.840 um,

00:53:51.760 and so that's the thing.

00:53:52.860 Like there must be nothing for them to eat,

00:53:54.600 for them to even come that close to shore and bite and bite human beings.

00:53:58.600 We're just not good.

00:53:59.500 The thing is though that,

00:54:02.000 yeah,

00:54:02.120 so these are sort of,

00:54:03.480 uh,

00:54:04.020 accidental encounters where they get confused.

00:54:06.500 You know,

00:54:06.780 a lot of times they go after the surfers cause they look like seals,

00:54:09.900 uh,

00:54:10.640 and they love to eat seals.

00:54:12.060 And my sister-in-law has been dealing with this on Cape Cod because she's an

00:54:16.160 oyster fisherman.

00:54:16.800 She and her longtime partner,

00:54:19.040 he's an oyster fisherman.

00:54:20.240 So is she.

00:54:21.520 And the,

00:54:22.600 the,

00:54:22.940 the fishermen on Cape Cod are outraged over this whole thing because they had

00:54:25.680 tons of shark attacks on Cape Cod over the past five years and they

00:54:29.600 intentionally brought the shark back.

00:54:31.560 Your sister.

00:54:32.380 And,

00:54:32.600 uh,

00:54:32.940 she's not married to him.

00:54:34.260 They never got married.

00:54:35.700 I don't,

00:54:36.060 I don't know why.

00:54:37.760 We don't do this partner thing.

00:54:39.800 That's,

00:54:40.200 you either get married or you're a child.

00:54:45.480 No,

00:54:45.620 technically they're engaged.

00:54:47.000 Well,

00:54:47.200 listen,

00:54:47.660 they got a lot going on.

00:54:49.780 That's your friend.

00:54:51.560 That's your friend.

00:54:52.300 I don't do this partner thing.

00:54:54.660 Like I need another word because I don't want to say boyfriend.

00:54:57.080 Cause we're too old to say boyfriend.

00:54:58.880 Take the plunge.

00:54:59.740 Like the rest of us,

00:55:01.260 roll the dice.

00:55:02.200 Like the rest of us,

00:55:03.480 you don't get partner.

00:55:04.880 You don't get partner.

00:55:05.980 We're not going to do that.

00:55:07.220 I'm going to run it by.

00:55:07.900 I'm going to play her this clip and I will get back to you.

00:55:10.640 She's persuaded.

00:55:12.400 So here's the story.

00:55:13.680 They say on Cape Cod,

00:55:15.600 they,

00:55:16.700 they,

00:55:16.980 it was a protect the seals effort.

00:55:18.660 They wanted the seals to come back.

00:55:20.040 So you weren't allowed to kill the seals anymore.

00:55:23.120 And that's shark boot.

00:55:24.420 So as they brought back all these seals,

00:55:26.560 so too did the sharks come.

00:55:28.660 And now we've seen,

00:55:29.740 remember that report like four years ago,

00:55:31.680 that Brazilian 26 year old,

00:55:33.800 I think who was killed and they drag,

00:55:35.880 it was just like a scene out of jaws where they dragged his body out of the

00:55:38.820 ocean.

00:55:39.220 It was only half there.

00:55:40.520 And now all over the beaches in Cape Cod,

00:55:42.460 they've got,

00:55:43.000 I mean,

00:55:43.280 the scariest signs showing jaws,

00:55:45.840 like great whites,

00:55:47.580 like sharks,

00:55:48.740 sharks on this beach.

00:55:49.520 And people still sometimes go in the waters and now it's migrating to

00:55:53.760 Long Island.

00:55:54.780 Oh,

00:55:54.880 and by the way,

00:55:55.360 the fishermen,

00:55:55.940 one of the reasons they're so upset about it is it's called Cape Cod.

00:55:59.300 When you go to the restaurant,

00:56:01.200 you order cod.

00:56:02.380 It's,

00:56:03.060 it's a type of fish.

00:56:04.380 And the seal poop is apparently very appetizing to cod.

00:56:09.460 So they eat the seal poop and then it can cause worms inside the cod,

00:56:15.980 which can wind up in your restaurant cod.

00:56:20.100 And so even the fishermen are saying,

00:56:21.640 be very careful.

00:56:23.380 And when ordering cod,

00:56:25.200 like the,

00:56:25.740 some restaurants will just cut open the fish.

00:56:27.760 And if they see the worms,

00:56:29.520 they'll just clean it out and still serve it.

00:56:32.160 So,

00:56:32.840 okay,

00:56:33.000 sorry.

00:56:33.600 Took a very disgusting turn here,

00:56:34.980 but my point is,

00:56:36.120 let's just conserve the seals or just conserve the sharks.

00:56:39.220 Like these have real life consequences to humans.

00:56:42.400 We're still at the top of the food chain.

00:56:44.320 And you got this conservation expert,

00:56:45.960 like it's a sign we're doing things right.

00:56:47.820 Oh,

00:56:48.160 tell it to the guy who's,

00:56:49.300 you know,

00:56:49.720 dealing with the lost foot.

00:56:51.740 Yeah.

00:56:52.000 I don't know.

00:56:52.640 Like there's this whole,

00:56:54.220 this idea that the conservationists have that.

00:56:56.580 And again,

00:56:56.820 I'm no scientist,

00:56:57.540 so don't trust anything I say,

00:56:59.180 but,

00:56:59.900 uh,

00:57:00.440 that like if an animal goes away,

00:57:01.940 the whole ecosystem falls apart.

00:57:03.760 And it's like,

00:57:04.240 well,

00:57:04.480 if you're also the same people that say 99.9% of animals that have ever existed,

00:57:09.220 have gone extinct.

00:57:10.320 So clearly if we lose a few,

00:57:13.900 we're going to be okay.

00:57:15.780 So I'm fine losing sharks.

00:57:18.140 I think if we just kill every shark,

00:57:20.420 what that does is makes more fish.

00:57:22.620 And right now,

00:57:23.420 everybody's worried about overfishing.

00:57:24.920 Well,

00:57:25.020 now we,

00:57:25.460 we must overfish because it'll be so plentiful.

00:57:29.860 So if we just get rid of all the sharks,

00:57:31.940 people don't get eaten.

00:57:33.040 We don't have this fear of getting eaten anymore.

00:57:35.140 The fish don't worry about getting eaten.

00:57:37.020 We just eat the fish.

00:57:37.960 They don't get wasted in some shark and we can't even eat the shark.

00:57:40.720 We just get rid of the sharks.

00:57:42.460 There's certain things we could just get rid of in the animal.

00:57:44.760 I certainly think the decrease in sharks.

00:57:47.160 I don't know.

00:57:48.020 I like you,

00:57:49.240 I don't know exactly what they do for the environment,

00:57:50.900 the sea environment,

00:57:51.460 but the decrease in sharks doesn't strike me as a terrible,

00:57:53.920 terribly bad thing.

00:57:54.940 And the,

00:57:55.480 and people like this,

00:57:56.260 you know,

00:57:56.500 Stony Brook guy who are working to bring them back.

00:57:58.720 It's like,

00:57:59.240 does he swim in the ocean?

00:58:00.540 I wonder.

00:58:01.120 Cause it's like,

00:58:02.140 as,

00:58:02.760 as you said,

00:58:03.580 ever since I saw Jaws,

00:58:05.040 it's totally changed my ocean experience.

00:58:07.140 I'm afraid of the ocean.

00:58:08.300 And I realized my husband,

00:58:09.700 he swims in it every day when we're here every day,

00:58:12.760 51 years,

00:58:14.260 never even seen a shark.

00:58:15.260 He says,

00:58:15.960 but I'm scared.

00:58:17.820 And I'm,

00:58:18.120 I'm trying not to pass it on to my kids.

00:58:19.780 Cause I realized the odds are in our favor,

00:58:21.460 but with these reports,

00:58:23.200 it's like,

00:58:23.620 the odds are getting worse every day.

00:58:25.080 And it's like your kid.

00:58:26.420 And I don't know.

00:58:28.640 Yeah.

00:58:29.000 I don't.

00:58:29.760 Yeah.

00:58:30.000 Get rid of the sharks.

00:58:30.980 I'm fine with like a culling of the sharks.

00:58:32.980 You know how,

00:58:33.280 like in Japan,

00:58:33.840 they like round up all the dolphins and they kill them because the dolphins eat the fish that they love.

00:58:39.520 Hmm.

00:58:40.320 I didn't know that,

00:58:41.100 but okay.

00:58:42.220 But,

00:58:42.620 um,

00:58:43.060 so basically,

00:58:43.720 and I think they do it in like a Denmark or something as that as well.

00:58:47.160 And they just like round them up into a bay and then they just shoot them all in the head.

00:58:51.020 And then they're out of here.

00:58:52.060 And it's really devastating.

00:58:53.060 It's fucked up.

00:58:54.160 I was going to say the dolphin,

00:58:55.340 that's different.

00:58:56.680 Yeah.

00:58:57.000 See,

00:58:57.280 it's sad because like we have like this affinity for dolphins.

00:58:59.760 Which also comes from television.

00:59:02.040 Right.

00:59:02.480 It comes from that show.

00:59:03.580 And also they're super smart.

00:59:04.760 Like it's like us,

00:59:05.680 the pigs and the dolphins.

00:59:07.680 Yeah.

00:59:08.180 One,

00:59:08.500 I don't buy the pigs are smart thing.

00:59:10.400 I don't,

00:59:10.940 I don't really subscribe to that.

00:59:12.800 Yeah,

00:59:13.000 I don't.

00:59:14.020 And I don't even know if dolphins are that smart.

00:59:15.760 Like what,

00:59:16.120 why are they so smart?

00:59:17.000 Cause they can jump through the hoops.

00:59:18.220 Like my golden doodle can do that.

00:59:19.600 It's one of the dumbest animals I've ever met.

00:59:21.480 But I,

00:59:22.780 you know what I mean?

00:59:23.400 I just don't subscribe to this.

00:59:25.020 They're so smart thing.

00:59:25.980 Like everybody does that with killer whales too.

00:59:27.540 They're so smart.

00:59:28.300 It's like,

00:59:28.680 why?

00:59:29.520 Cause they swim together.

00:59:31.220 Like what?

00:59:32.080 What is,

00:59:32.820 I think there are reasons beyond that.

00:59:35.020 But there's levels to this smart shit is what I'm trying to say.

00:59:38.260 And I think that like human beings are like dying to have this connection with the animal world.

00:59:42.540 They're like,

00:59:43.200 Oh,

00:59:43.400 I think we can teach a chimpanzee how to do sign language.

00:59:45.900 It's like,

00:59:46.720 no,

00:59:48.140 it doesn't give a fuck about sign language.

00:59:49.860 It don't want to talk to you.

00:59:51.120 It wants to eat bananas and ants and then run around with its friends and then see if his wife has kids with somebody else and he'll kill the kids.

00:59:58.840 It's good.

00:59:59.080 They're kind of like gnarly creatures.

01:00:00.400 Right.

01:00:00.760 So I don't think they're like,

01:00:02.880 we have this obsession.

01:00:04.000 Like we're just,

01:00:04.920 we're just going to start like being friends and like buddies with all that.

01:00:07.400 There's like so many people go get some real friends.

01:00:09.480 No,

01:00:09.740 it's like people remember when monk kids was the thing.

01:00:13.140 These like people were adopting monkey babies.

01:00:15.260 And instead of calling them monkeys,

01:00:17.020 they called them monk kids.

01:00:18.660 And they're putting like human diapers on them and trying to raise them like a kid.

01:00:23.560 This is mental illness.

01:00:25.360 This is mental illness.

01:00:26.640 This is mental illness.

01:00:27.800 This is,

01:00:28.540 you found,

01:00:29.620 they found out that humans will not tolerate them,

01:00:32.780 that like humans find them annoying.

01:00:34.420 So they've basically enslaved animals to be their friends.

01:00:37.540 This is,

01:00:38.500 this is,

01:00:39.140 this is very dangerous.

01:00:40.380 You actually shouldn't be able to get a pet until you have like three human friends.

01:00:44.080 You should have to prove that you have like actual human connection and then you get the pet.

01:00:49.860 But otherwise they're like,

01:00:51.560 you know,

01:00:51.960 licking peanut butter off your nuts and shit.

01:00:54.020 All this weird stuff.

01:00:55.520 It's true.

01:00:56.240 That's what these people do.

01:00:58.000 Bear it.

01:00:58.340 I can't,

01:00:58.940 I can't bear it.

01:00:59.720 Can I,

01:01:00.120 no,

01:01:00.660 wait,

01:01:01.040 do you swim in the ocean?

01:01:02.600 Do you,

01:01:02.980 do you,

01:01:03.220 like when you said,

01:01:04.080 I grew up surfing.

01:01:06.540 I,

01:01:06.780 I,

01:01:06.980 I love surfing.

01:01:08.280 It's the best,

01:01:08.880 but now that they have wave pools,

01:01:10.020 I'm like,

01:01:10.340 you perfected it.

01:01:11.280 You did everything you needed to do.

01:01:12.840 I don't have to deal with this anymore.

01:01:14.900 Okay.

01:01:15.180 Now what about this?

01:01:15.880 Cause there was another scary animal story in the news recently.

01:01:19.060 Snakes,

01:01:19.860 sharks,

01:01:20.740 snakes.

01:01:21.060 It's sort of in the same field of like,

01:01:22.560 why would you want?

01:01:23.200 Why?

01:01:23.660 Why?

01:01:24.020 And people do use,

01:01:25.460 have snakes as pets.

01:01:26.880 There was a story.

01:01:27.980 Um,

01:01:28.760 W R a L.

01:01:29.540 This is North Carolina.

01:01:30.980 This kid,

01:01:31.980 Chris Gifford,

01:01:32.740 who's apparently very popular on Tik TOK and online influencer.

01:01:35.820 You might say collects snakes and he collects among other snakes,

01:01:41.100 something called the spitting zebra,

01:01:43.180 Coba,

01:01:43.800 Cobra,

01:01:44.400 which is not what spitting zebra,

01:01:46.240 Cobra,

01:01:46.700 which is venomous and potentially deadly.

01:01:49.140 And he got it when he was just a little baby,

01:01:51.300 eight to nine inches.

01:01:52.080 And it had like a twin.

01:01:53.620 We adopted.

01:01:54.520 He had a bunch of snakes.

01:01:55.440 He put them in the little fish tank and lo and behold,

01:01:58.260 the next morning,

01:01:59.460 little spitting zebra,

01:02:01.040 Cobra was gone.

01:02:02.100 And he decided not to tell anybody.

01:02:05.520 So he checked his basement.

01:02:07.580 He's looking at,

01:02:08.320 he's like,

01:02:08.620 you know what?

01:02:09.000 It says to his parents who knew we don't have to go to the authorities

01:02:11.940 because it can't survive in North Carolina winter.

01:02:15.880 Maybe he lost it in the fall.

01:02:16.880 I can't remember,

01:02:17.660 but there's no way.

01:02:18.820 And then they had 50 days below a certain temperature that winter.

01:02:21.620 He's like,

01:02:21.860 it's dead for sure.

01:02:22.920 It's dead.

01:02:23.880 Well,

01:02:24.720 it wasn't dead.

01:02:26.160 And it showed up on some old lady's porch.

01:02:29.900 Not long thereafter.

01:02:31.140 It was a picture a lot bigger.

01:02:33.940 And now this kid,

01:02:34.880 there's a picture of it.

01:02:35.880 I think when it was found on the porch and he's now speaking out to try to

01:02:40.840 take responsibility for this very bad decision.

01:02:44.280 He's sorry now that he's been caught.

01:02:46.640 He did take ownership.

01:02:48.200 Here's Chris Gifford,

01:02:48.980 22 talking about his Cobra.

01:02:52.600 I messed up.

01:02:54.060 There was a reason people were mad and scared.

01:02:56.460 I totally get it.

01:02:57.620 But now is the time that I can give more clarity to the situation.

01:03:00.760 It's about to be on that anniversary coming soon of when this happened.

01:03:05.380 So I think it'd be good not only to tell my side of the story a little bit,

01:03:09.880 but also give a huge apology.

01:03:11.580 There were never any intentions of doing this.

01:03:15.620 This was,

01:03:16.140 this was of no benefit to anybody.

01:03:18.200 I regret it horrendously.

01:03:20.980 And I wish that I could have changed that outcome.

01:03:24.820 This was,

01:03:25.420 these are animals that I love.

01:03:26.720 This is an animal community is one that I love.

01:03:28.700 There's so many good,

01:03:29.400 responsible,

01:03:30.040 great keepers out there.

01:03:31.160 And because of my stupid mistake,

01:03:32.820 I made that look bad for all of them.

01:03:35.860 So he's sorry.

01:03:37.200 It was a nice apology,

01:03:38.380 but he only apologized once the animal control people came to his door.

01:03:41.860 Cause the snake was found three blocks away and they were like,

01:03:45.480 did you lose the snake?

01:03:47.280 He was like,

01:03:47.840 no,

01:03:48.460 who,

01:03:48.920 who me?

01:03:49.840 And then he thought about it for a little while and said,

01:03:51.480 oh shit,

01:03:52.220 I got it.

01:03:52.760 I got to confess what you did.

01:03:54.360 Tons of fines,

01:03:54.980 like 35,000 bucks in fines and so on.

01:03:57.680 Really?

01:03:58.540 Yeah.

01:03:59.520 I mean,

01:03:59.960 because he shouldn't have had the snake in the first place.

01:04:02.320 Yeah.

01:04:02.480 I don't think you're allowed to have a snake.

01:04:03.700 And I think there are mandatory reporting rules.

01:04:05.680 If your snake gets loose in the community,

01:04:08.320 you know,

01:04:09.200 and he says in the longer interview with WRL,

01:04:11.900 like what if a kid had encountered it?

01:04:13.900 And nobody won't know once their kid or their dog to encounter the,

01:04:16.560 the spitting zebra cobra.

01:04:19.340 Yeah.

01:04:20.580 Yeah.

01:04:21.020 I don't get the whole snake thing,

01:04:22.880 especially for guys.

01:04:24.060 I don't get it.

01:04:24.760 Like I'm okay with like women having like a snake or like a,

01:04:28.660 like a pit bull or something like that,

01:04:31.140 like,

01:04:31.460 or guns even,

01:04:32.420 but just like,

01:04:33.980 uh,

01:04:34.660 because you know,

01:04:35.760 ideally like they can protect you.

01:04:37.660 Like no guy's going to try to like rob you or like,

01:04:40.340 you know,

01:04:40.620 assault you if you have a snake,

01:04:42.060 you know?

01:04:43.780 So like I have to say again,

01:04:46.020 you have to put like a sign on the front door saying,

01:04:48.160 spitting zebra cobra inside.

01:04:50.560 Yeah,

01:04:51.040 exactly.

01:04:51.680 Or just when you're walking down the street,

01:04:53.100 like if you're just going to a grocery store late at night and you have

01:04:55.180 like a snake wrapped around you,

01:04:56.380 like Britney Spears,

01:04:57.700 no guy's going to come try to assault you.

01:04:59.580 They're going to like assault the chick who like doesn't have the snake.

01:05:02.320 So I think that it's like a good protective measure,

01:05:04.680 but I don't get the guy having the snake thing.

01:05:08.860 You know what I mean?

01:05:09.900 Like,

01:05:10.120 I think that that's where like sexism plays in,

01:05:12.520 like where we can kind of like use sexism a little bit,

01:05:15.600 you know,

01:05:15.900 like,

01:05:16.300 um,

01:05:17.160 like I don't think women should have to get like checked at TSA.

01:05:19.920 I don't think you guys have blown anything up yet.

01:05:22.120 I think,

01:05:22.880 uh,

01:05:23.280 I think you can all have guns.

01:05:24.700 Like we can give the female students guns,

01:05:27.140 you know,

01:05:27.480 like just,

01:05:28.280 you can do whatever you want.

01:05:29.540 Like just protect the school.

01:05:30.980 Like I would give my wife a gun happily just walk around the street.

01:05:34.700 Anybody bothers you shoot them.

01:05:36.500 And then everybody's safe.

01:05:37.780 And,

01:05:38.380 but I think that like,

01:05:39.380 I understand the trepidation with guys because we're like a little bit

01:05:42.580 impulsive,

01:05:43.120 you know,

01:05:43.300 like somebody makes a game winning shot.

01:05:44.820 I'll fucking tear apart my house.

01:05:46.960 Don't give me a gun as well.

01:05:48.900 Thank God I haven't had a gun in my whole life.

01:05:51.060 You know what I mean?

01:05:51.800 I remember shooting one.

01:05:52.780 It was one of the most fun things I've ever done.

01:05:55.000 And I was like,

01:05:55.340 I can't wait to do this again.

01:05:56.840 Real gun or like BB gun?

01:05:58.220 Not real gun.

01:05:59.020 I was in like Montana.

01:06:00.380 Sick.

01:06:01.260 Yeah.

01:06:01.760 Like I live in New York.

01:06:02.720 I think it's illegal to have a gun in New York city.

01:06:04.840 And it probably should be because we like sneakers too much.

01:06:07.080 Like it's too dangerous.

01:06:09.220 You know,

01:06:09.440 like you step on my sneakers.

01:06:10.720 I just got a new pair and I have a gun.

01:06:12.680 You're dead.

01:06:13.840 So maybe it's not the best.

01:06:15.480 Yeah.

01:06:15.680 But if I live in my Montana,

01:06:18.380 I'm having all the guns,

01:06:20.440 Megan.

01:06:20.900 Let me tell you.

01:06:21.480 Yes.

01:06:22.160 Oh,

01:06:22.340 let me tell you.

01:06:22.780 I went to visit my friends down in Texas and we went,

01:06:26.560 we're going to like a late night bike ride into their woods on those

01:06:31.040 motorized bicycles.

01:06:32.260 And before we got there,

01:06:33.440 and this is like summer,

01:06:34.340 everybody's got shorts and a t-shirt on.

01:06:36.600 And before we went into the woods at night,

01:06:39.820 our host looks back and he says,

01:06:41.360 is anybody carrying?

01:06:42.740 And cause we're in Texas,

01:06:44.020 literally every guy is like nine,

01:06:45.480 10 guys like I am,

01:06:47.040 I am,

01:06:47.380 I am,

01:06:47.720 I am.

01:06:48.460 And I'm looking at these guys like,

01:06:49.560 where,

01:06:50.020 where are you?

01:06:50.440 Everybody's wearing these shorts and small t-shirts.

01:06:52.840 And then of course the next question is,

01:06:54.640 what,

01:06:55.080 why is that necessary?

01:06:56.200 What's what is in said woods?

01:06:58.720 Right.

01:06:59.220 You don't know about what the,

01:07:01.740 like,

01:07:02.320 I love it when these people like in like New York city and San

01:07:05.360 Francisco are like,

01:07:06.120 nobody needs guns.

01:07:07.220 And it's like,

01:07:07.940 you don't live in the forest.

01:07:09.940 Like there's some forest out there and there's fucking bears.

01:07:14.440 There's moose,

01:07:15.580 right?

01:07:15.920 You don't know what's going out there.

01:07:17.020 You might need a pistol.

01:07:18.080 You can't just call the cops.

01:07:19.660 It's like 30 minutes for them to come get you.

01:07:21.820 That's right.

01:07:22.360 So it was wild boar.

01:07:24.220 That was the problem in Texas.

01:07:25.420 It was wild boar.

01:07:26.280 And apparently they can get as big as a Volkswagen.

01:07:29.040 Yeah.

01:07:29.220 They're,

01:07:29.440 they're an invasive species.

01:07:31.040 They're wild boar.

01:07:31.640 Like you can rent a helicopter and shoot them,

01:07:33.580 which sounds like a great fucking time.

01:07:36.100 Yeah.

01:07:37.240 Dana Lash has been trying to get me to do that.

01:07:39.420 She's a big second amendment person.

01:07:41.480 She and her husband,

01:07:42.020 Chris,

01:07:42.260 I love them.

01:07:42.780 They're like,

01:07:43.060 come down.

01:07:43.860 We'll take you and Doug up and we'll,

01:07:45.700 we'll shoot wild boar from a helicopter.

01:07:47.500 I'm like,

01:07:48.140 this is the most couple of things that I really am afraid of.

01:07:51.060 I don't like flying.

01:07:51.980 I don't think I like wild boar.

01:07:53.680 I don't think.

01:07:54.620 No,

01:07:54.640 you got,

01:07:55.520 you got to do it.

01:07:56.440 It's really fun.

01:07:58.440 No,

01:07:58.560 no.

01:07:58.700 But it just looks like the most fun thing hanging out the side of the

01:08:01.520 helicopter and just shooting these like gigantic fat beasts.

01:08:05.280 But you have to be careful because sometimes they'll fly by like

01:08:07.260 Walmarts and then some people will be walking out.

01:08:09.280 You're not exactly sure what it is.

01:08:10.640 It's like an animal farm situation and you're just gunning down like whole

01:08:14.160 families.

01:08:14.560 It's,

01:08:14.820 it's very,

01:08:15.260 you have to be very careful.

01:08:16.860 You have to make sure you're not shooting just regular fat people in San

01:08:21.020 Antonio.

01:08:21.380 And you're just only shooting wild boar,

01:08:23.480 you know?

01:08:26.800 This is why Amazon.

01:08:31.440 All right.

01:08:31.940 Let's talk politics for a minute because a lot of fun stuff is happening.

01:08:35.160 A lot of fun stuff.

01:08:37.120 Your pal,

01:08:37.900 Hunter Biden is back in the news and I know.

01:08:40.420 The goat.

01:08:41.280 The goat.

01:08:42.480 How is he the goat?

01:08:44.400 Dude,

01:08:44.880 it's just,

01:08:45.500 I mean,

01:08:45.720 he's just like,

01:08:46.360 so it's so wild.

01:08:47.400 Like the guy so clearly hates his dad.

01:08:49.520 Like the greatest daddy issues you've ever seen.

01:08:52.380 When daddy issues manifest themselves in women,

01:08:54.560 they're like,

01:08:55.120 I'm going to dress slutty.

01:08:57.060 And when daddy issues manifest themselves in men,

01:08:59.340 they're like,

01:08:59.780 I smoke crack.

01:09:01.740 It's like,

01:09:02.660 we are way more affected by fatherlessness.

01:09:08.520 The worst thing that happens with a woman is you sleep with like a few more

01:09:13.540 dudes than you were supposed to.

01:09:15.000 And then dudes will like destroy a political dynasty.

01:09:17.660 I mean,

01:09:18.480 it's crazy.

01:09:19.500 The guy's videotaping himself.

01:09:21.480 So he gets caught.

01:09:22.760 He wants this to happen.

01:09:24.400 Yeah.

01:09:24.560 So he keeps putting it out.

01:09:26.300 Yeah.

01:09:27.460 And I think he's not putting it out,

01:09:28.580 but he keeps putting it like on film.

01:09:30.560 I mean,

01:09:30.820 what happened this week was somebody hacked into his cloud reportedly and got

01:09:36.000 video of him weighing crack.

01:09:37.780 We've got the soundbite for those who missed it.

01:09:40.260 He's weighing his crack rocks.

01:09:41.980 Here it is.

01:09:42.320 I just laid out the bag.

01:09:50.480 It's 2.06.

01:09:52.940 2.07.

01:09:58.040 Without the bag.

01:09:58.960 Okay.

01:10:00.380 So for the listening audience,

01:10:01.860 we believe there was a prostitute in the background and he's,

01:10:04.340 you can see his crack cocaine rocks on the scale and you could hear how

01:10:09.220 much it was.

01:10:09.800 It's like,

01:10:10.100 it never ends with this guy.

01:10:11.520 And I don't know.

01:10:12.280 Douglas Murray,

01:10:12.780 who I love had a piece saying,

01:10:14.860 shouldn't we be feeling sympathy for him?

01:10:16.500 I love Douglas.

01:10:18.120 I don't know.

01:10:19.660 Yeah.

01:10:21.620 I mean,

01:10:22.100 like I do feel sympathy for somebody because like,

01:10:25.200 like that,

01:10:26.240 like,

01:10:26.440 like drug addiction or when you get that far,

01:10:28.480 you're really not in control of your body,

01:10:29.940 you know?

01:10:30.680 And like whatever he was going through to,

01:10:33.080 to whatever he was going through to get him to using drugs,

01:10:36.480 you're just coping with the drugs.

01:10:37.560 Like there's something incredibly dark and disturbed in there that he's just

01:10:40.760 not able to emotionally handle.

01:10:42.560 And that's why he's doing the drugs.

01:10:44.180 I think that we don't feel as bad because we know that he's like taking

01:10:48.320 advantage of the American system.

01:10:50.960 Yes.

01:10:51.600 That's right.

01:10:52.080 He's a grifter.

01:10:53.380 Yeah.

01:10:53.880 Like,

01:10:54.240 but then so are all these politicians.

01:10:55.860 They're all fucking grifting,

01:10:56.760 man.

01:10:56.860 That's why you get into politics in the first place.

01:10:58.700 Like you gotta be a psychopath to be a politician.

01:11:01.220 Like something's wrong in here to be like,

01:11:03.400 I want to tell people what to do.

01:11:05.640 It's true.

01:11:06.360 Isn't that weird?

01:11:08.660 Like the first,

01:11:10.360 the first thing that should exclude you from being a politician is,

01:11:14.180 is the feeling you want to be.

01:11:17.060 You know what I mean?

01:11:17.920 Like we should have to like,

01:11:19.200 you're out.

01:11:20.160 People to be politicians.

01:11:21.620 They should like refuse it profusely.

01:11:23.840 And then finally,

01:11:25.020 like we grind them down and they're like,

01:11:26.780 okay,

01:11:26.940 I'll do this for a very limited time.

01:11:29.320 Yeah.

01:11:29.620 Like you should have to beg someone to run again.

01:11:32.160 Like Washington.

01:11:32.880 That's how it was with Washington.

01:11:34.760 There you go.

01:11:35.720 I've heard you,

01:11:36.440 I've heard you say both ways.

01:11:38.080 What do you think now in terms of like sheer entertainment as somebody who's

01:11:41.040 looking for material,

01:11:43.080 Trump or Biden?

01:11:45.180 Dude,

01:11:45.660 it was Trump.

01:11:46.400 And now Biden's come on strong.

01:11:48.080 Like the guy's still,

01:11:50.000 the guy still got it.

01:11:51.380 You know what I mean?

01:11:51.980 Like he's still like,

01:11:53.580 there's a video that dropped the other day where he took a nice sniff of like

01:11:56.260 a little girl.

01:11:56.800 And it was like,

01:11:57.900 he,

01:11:58.180 he can't not do it.

01:12:00.660 He,

01:12:00.920 we have it.

01:12:02.140 We have it.

01:12:03.000 Hold on.

01:12:03.280 I'll show them what you're talking about.

01:12:04.400 I think by crack team.

01:12:06.140 And I mean that in a complimentary way.

01:12:08.020 Oh,

01:12:08.340 it's just a voice.

01:12:09.020 Okay.

01:12:09.320 Here you can see as he's kind of unclear,

01:12:11.540 whether it's a sniff or a chat.

01:12:14.520 I don't know,

01:12:15.060 but he gets awfully close to this little girl's hair.

01:12:17.800 Here he goes.

01:12:19.200 He's going down.

01:12:20.320 Stand by.

01:12:20.940 There it is.

01:12:21.820 He leans in.

01:12:22.980 I don't know,

01:12:23.840 but he should really just keep his distance and raise his voice.

01:12:26.100 There's no more,

01:12:26.640 there's no need to get one inch away from a little girl.

01:12:28.940 Keep going.

01:12:29.940 Yeah.

01:12:30.860 Yeah.

01:12:31.260 It's just so odd.

01:12:32.340 So,

01:12:32.720 so yeah,

01:12:33.100 but I mean,

01:12:33.480 Trump is,

01:12:33.980 I mean,

01:12:34.140 did you see the Trump tweet or I'm not tweet,

01:12:36.740 whatever his stupid fucking platform is.

01:12:39.140 Did you see his thing about Elon?

01:12:41.460 I mean,

01:12:41.720 that is like.

01:12:42.340 Yeah.

01:12:42.980 Yeah.

01:12:43.160 Yeah.

01:12:43.360 Old school,

01:12:44.880 pure hilarity understands rule of three,

01:12:48.800 like roast.

01:12:50.800 He,

01:12:51.380 he is objectively hilarious.

01:12:53.700 Okay.

01:12:54.560 Yeah.

01:12:54.720 And Elon had nothing to come back from.

01:12:58.000 He didn't post any stupid memes or anything like that.

01:13:00.420 It's actually really funny.

01:13:01.420 What's happening with Elon right now.

01:13:02.600 Like Elon is,

01:13:03.540 is learning that he's not bigger than the system.

01:13:06.040 Like he thought for a second,

01:13:07.400 he was bigger than the system.

01:13:09.160 And he was like,

01:13:10.000 yeah,

01:13:10.120 I can just do whatever I want.

01:13:11.060 Like people think I'm the smartest guy and I'm the richest guy.

01:13:13.440 So I just do whatever I want.

01:13:14.900 And the American system,

01:13:16.740 the real powers would be,

01:13:18.200 we'll let you know that you're not bigger than the system.

01:13:22.120 And it like immediately the next day,

01:13:24.860 it's like,

01:13:25.600 Hey,

01:13:25.720 remember when your dad fucked his daughter and had kids with her?

01:13:30.220 Oh my God.

01:13:31.000 Oh yeah.

01:13:33.680 Well,

01:13:34.180 every day there's some new negative piece of information that comes out on

01:13:37.740 Elon or his dad.

01:13:39.000 But to me,

01:13:39.600 I feel like it bothers me because like you dip your toe into those political

01:13:44.980 waters.

01:13:45.420 And really what he said is like,

01:13:47.020 I think there should be more free speech on Twitter.

01:13:48.860 They'll kill you.

01:13:50.000 They'll kill you.

01:13:51.080 You know,

01:13:51.320 it's like,

01:13:51.660 that's why so many people are like,

01:13:53.080 I don't want to get political.

01:13:54.180 We have people on this show all the time.

01:13:55.380 And we're like,

01:13:55.960 I'll talk about anything except for politics.

01:13:57.800 You know,

01:13:58.160 you in,

01:13:58.680 and I understand that because it's such a toxic world.

01:14:01.060 You one toe and you're in.

01:14:04.020 I mean,

01:14:04.520 that's why I just,

01:14:05.300 I think that's what happens when you become tribal and he became tribal and

01:14:08.420 that's where he fucked up.

01:14:09.660 He literally said,

01:14:10.380 I'm going to vote Republican.

01:14:11.600 He decided to pick a side.

01:14:13.680 And when you pick a side,

01:14:15.260 you basically position everyone else against you.

01:14:17.940 You know,

01:14:18.540 why not just say I'm going to pick whoever I think is best this time around,

01:14:23.460 but I have views from both sides and I understand both sides.

01:14:26.800 I think a lot of it is like,

01:14:28.860 I look,

01:14:29.260 I I'd rather just make jokes about things to be completely honest with you.

01:14:32.180 But like,

01:14:32.700 I think a big problem here is like neither side has any empathy for one

01:14:37.180 another.

01:14:37.420 And if I think a lot of the people just screaming,

01:14:39.980 just kind of want to be like heard a little bit.

01:14:42.480 Like even with the abortion debate,

01:14:45.300 like right now,

01:14:46.000 it's like we,

01:14:47.380 I don't care who you are.

01:14:49.040 Nobody's okay with aborting a nine month old baby.

01:14:54.800 I don't care.

01:14:56.220 Some people are.

01:14:57.540 I,

01:14:57.980 I,

01:14:58.180 I don't believe them.

01:14:59.720 I genuinely do not believe them.

01:15:02.640 I think that they will say it,

01:15:04.580 but I think given the situation or given it was either them or their sister,

01:15:08.500 they would not do it.

01:15:10.260 And what that implies is that you believe there's a time in which it becomes a

01:15:14.980 baby.

01:15:15.300 So now we can at least all agree on that.

01:15:17.380 There's a time when it becomes a child.

01:15:20.000 So then what's the time?

01:15:21.420 Some people think it's earlier.

01:15:22.600 Some people think it's later,

01:15:23.580 but at least we're all on the same page with this.

01:15:27.080 And I think if both sides just kind of like looked at the other and said,

01:15:30.640 Hey,

01:15:31.640 you know,

01:15:32.200 like I get what I get where you're coming from.

01:15:35.020 Like if the extreme conservatives were like,

01:15:36.820 look,

01:15:36.980 I get where you guys are coming from with like rape and incest.

01:15:39.900 Like I get where you're coming from and how fucking traumatic and awful that could be.

01:15:44.760 Just say,

01:15:45.460 I get,

01:15:45.760 you don't even have to agree with it because I understand their argument.

01:15:48.140 Let's not punish the baby.

01:15:48.980 The baby didn't do anything,

01:15:49.760 but I at least say,

01:15:51.240 I get where you're coming from.

01:15:52.360 That's horrific.

01:15:52.880 It's tragic.

01:15:54.060 And I understand why you wouldn't want to go through that.

01:15:56.640 Just fucking say that.

01:15:58.840 Well,

01:15:58.920 what you're saying is I,

01:16:00.120 and I get that because it's the argument is if you're going to factor in the mother's emotional

01:16:04.940 burden in,

01:16:06.880 in carrying a pregnancy,

01:16:07.840 she doesn't want to carry.

01:16:09.020 If that,

01:16:09.800 if that matters at all,

01:16:11.360 then it should matter the most in the cases of race,

01:16:14.320 rape and incest,

01:16:15.200 because the extreme trauma to a mother and carrying a baby that she did not want,

01:16:22.120 that was the product of violence that brings up trauma for her every day for nine,

01:16:25.840 I mean,

01:16:26.020 intense trauma.

01:16:27.560 And then you have a child who's the product of,

01:16:29.920 you know,

01:16:30.200 that your own genes mixing with your rapists,

01:16:33.160 like the traumas ongoing,

01:16:35.640 you know what I mean?

01:16:36.100 They're after.

01:16:36.580 So I get that.

01:16:37.380 And yeah,

01:16:37.720 you're,

01:16:37.960 what you're saying is why can't one side factor in a little,

01:16:41.400 the extreme,

01:16:42.220 like the fact that a woman matters,

01:16:43.820 she does matter in the process.

01:16:45.600 And the other side factor in that the baby also does matter in the process.

01:16:49.880 And it may not be all,

01:16:52.120 what in one's camp.

01:16:53.820 That's it.

01:16:54.420 Like literally just,

01:16:55.600 just be a human being for one second and just say,

01:16:57.960 you understand why they feel that way.

01:17:00.940 Don't even change your opinion.

01:17:02.640 Just go.

01:17:03.880 I don't think you're crazy.

01:17:05.340 And I do understand.

01:17:06.900 Yeah,

01:17:07.000 this is,

01:17:07.380 this is,

01:17:07.640 I got to show you this.

01:17:08.440 This just happened.

01:17:09.040 Maybe you saw it this week,

01:17:09.740 but this woman,

01:17:10.580 um,

01:17:11.240 she's a California,

01:17:12.660 a Berkeley law professor,

01:17:13.980 uh,

01:17:14.240 Kiara bridges who testified before Congress on abortion issues.

01:17:17.360 And she had this exchange.

01:17:18.780 We played one with Josh Holly yesterday,

01:17:20.360 but let's,

01:17:20.720 but here's,

01:17:22.440 I don't know if you saw the Senator Cornyn one where he's asking her such a

01:17:25.800 basic question.

01:17:26.520 I mean,

01:17:26.660 like Democrats are crazy to think that this is going to play in,

01:17:29.320 in regular America,

01:17:30.440 as opposed to like a Berkeley.

01:17:32.660 Listen to this,

01:17:33.700 watch this.

01:17:34.200 Do you think a baby that is delivered alive has value?

01:17:44.160 Yes.

01:17:45.380 Do you think that a,

01:17:46.600 a baby that is not yet born has value?

01:17:51.320 I believe that a person with a capacity for pregnancy has value.

01:17:54.900 They have intelligence.

01:17:56.200 They have agency.

01:17:57.340 They have dignity.

01:17:57.700 I'm talking about the baby.

01:17:58.660 And I'm talking about the person with the capacity for pregnancy.

01:18:00.580 You're not answering the question.

01:18:01.800 I'm asking.

01:18:02.380 I'm answering a more interesting question.

01:18:04.200 Do you think that you think that the baby that is not yet born,

01:18:08.340 let's say the day before this mother delivers,

01:18:11.120 do you think that baby has value?

01:18:13.640 I think that the person with the capacity for pregnancy has value and they

01:18:16.640 have the,

01:18:17.160 they should have the ability to control what happens to their lives.

01:18:19.500 Well,

01:18:19.840 and,

01:18:20.200 and I just note,

01:18:21.480 you refuse to answer the question.

01:18:25.260 That,

01:18:25.580 that,

01:18:25.800 that woman would absolutely support third term abortion.

01:18:29.580 Yeah.

01:18:30.020 I mean,

01:18:30.480 that woman doesn't believe anything she's saying.

01:18:33.080 Not a single.

01:18:33.980 No,

01:18:34.340 she's living a lie.

01:18:37.600 It's Scientology.

01:18:38.560 She's just part of a cult and the cult tells her to feel this way.

01:18:41.920 And then she has value within the cult and she's now speaking to senators.

01:18:46.860 So she must be doing something right within the cult,

01:18:49.100 but her raw biology,

01:18:50.780 her human emotion does not add up to that kind of shit at all.

01:18:54.160 And that's where the friction is because like,

01:18:56.220 like even she even said something,

01:18:57.620 she's like,

01:18:58.100 I'm not,

01:18:58.580 I'm answering what I think is a more interesting question.

01:19:01.020 That's not why you're here.

01:19:02.300 You're not here to answer what the questions you want.

01:19:06.620 Revolve around you.

01:19:08.680 You're here because we want information and we want you to ask.

01:19:11.720 Now he's trying to do gotcha shit.

01:19:13.480 I don't know where he gets with that,

01:19:15.560 but this is a perfect example.

01:19:16.780 Like just acknowledgement of the other side is so it can be so yeah,

01:19:25.440 it can just remove the walls and then you could get into like a real

01:19:27.840 discussion.

01:19:28.520 But I think it starts with acknowledgement right there.

01:19:31.300 Like you're fighting with your husband or your wife.

01:19:33.340 Let's acknowledge,

01:19:34.380 let's acknowledge what we've done and let's acknowledge our part of this.

01:19:38.420 But that's a loving relationship.

01:19:40.000 As you say,

01:19:40.780 we're so tribal now.

01:19:41.740 We're not feeling any love for the other side.

01:19:44.040 And we,

01:19:44.720 and as I was saying,

01:19:45.600 the other side has to be willing to do their thing,

01:19:47.480 you know,

01:19:47.640 like say,

01:19:48.040 okay,

01:19:48.320 me too.

01:19:49.100 And,

01:19:49.560 and we're just not like that politically.

01:19:51.820 You know what's interesting.

01:19:53.020 I always thought that the hierarchy was like religion,

01:19:56.420 politics.

01:19:58.740 I guess like identity outside of that.

01:20:01.940 I don't know.

01:20:04.120 But when I put out the special and I said that I,

01:20:07.180 that they,

01:20:07.620 that they wanted to remove a,

01:20:09.560 an abortion joke,

01:20:10.920 it was really interesting to see like the conservative outlets.

01:20:14.040 Post about it and support me because you'd think they would go,

01:20:18.520 no,

01:20:18.780 we're not joking about abortion,

01:20:20.140 but owning kind of like owning the libs and like being against censorship was

01:20:26.600 actually higher on their priority lists than I guess,

01:20:31.860 protecting the sanctity of abortion from jokes.

01:20:34.740 And I thought that was like a really interesting thing to see play out.

01:20:38.200 I don't think conservatives,

01:20:38.940 at least today's conservatives are worried so much about offense on their core issues.

01:20:43.180 The way maybe 30 years ago they were,

01:20:45.920 you know,

01:20:46.120 they were the censors 30 years ago and now the shoes on the other foot.

01:20:49.700 Now it's like the liberals who want to shut everybody up and stop allegedly offensive jokes.

01:20:53.820 And so I think you're right.

01:20:54.700 And free speech is under attack.

01:20:56.460 I don't have to tell you that.

01:20:57.500 So this has become,

01:20:58.900 this really has become a hugely important fight.

01:21:03.180 I would put it right at the top of my own list.

01:21:04.840 And in terms of personal values that I,

01:21:06.620 I'll go down swinging on like,

01:21:08.260 you have to,

01:21:09.780 you have to stand up.

01:21:10.640 Otherwise it's going to a road and it's going to go away.

01:21:12.520 And these lunatics on college campuses who actually think that we need to change or get rid of the first amendment.

01:21:17.360 Okay.

01:21:18.140 You know what that world looks like?

01:21:19.540 It looks like Cuba.

01:21:20.820 None of us wants that.

01:21:21.880 But all those kids eventually get a real job and stop caring about these things.

01:21:26.200 It's like the distance between like your college opinions and a real job is this little like woke sector.

01:21:33.140 And then you get a real job and you have to do real work and your world becomes really small and your parents get old and you have to take care of your parents.

01:21:42.920 And that requires your time and your money.

01:21:45.480 And then you have kids and now your life is your kids and your parents and maybe your immediate friends.

01:21:51.380 And you just can't think about these big issues as much.

01:21:54.840 And I think the reason why like there's just so much angst is because,

01:21:58.460 and I'm guilty of this,

01:22:00.080 is we're pushing back the time in which people have kids.

01:22:03.320 So now they have so much more time to just complain about things.

01:22:07.300 Right.

01:22:07.920 Cause they're not like wiping mayonnaise off of their new like shirt that they just got because their kids spilled a fucking sandwich on them.

01:22:14.880 Right.

01:22:15.640 Like it's like once if kids,

01:22:18.340 if people had kids at 25,

01:22:19.920 you don't have to worry about any of these things,

01:22:21.280 but they wait until they're 38 like me.

01:22:25.360 And all of a sudden you got another 15 years of just whining about shit.

01:22:29.520 It's too much time to navel gaze.

01:22:32.140 Um,

01:22:32.540 all right,

01:22:32.800 wait,

01:22:33.020 there's,

01:22:33.340 I have a couple of examples of that.

01:22:34.680 I want to talk to you about what happened with AOC on the,

01:22:36.900 on the steps of Congress yesterday.

01:22:38.500 Cause suddenly she's very against protesters.

01:22:41.360 She loved it when it was happening to Brett Kavanaugh,

01:22:44.200 when it happened to her,

01:22:44.960 not so much,

01:22:46.040 but she is definitely somebody who's done some navel gazing in her 34 years.

01:22:51.140 Now streaming on Paramount plus.

01:22:53.960 Someone is trying to frame us.

01:22:56.220 Until our names are cleared.

01:22:58.760 We're fugitives from interval.

01:23:00.540 Like Bonnie and Clyde with better snacks.

01:23:04.000 Espionage.

01:23:04.620 You still as good a shot as you used to be.

01:23:07.740 Better.

01:23:08.180 Is there love language?

01:23:09.960 We like to walk that fine line between techno thriller.

01:23:13.620 And romantic comedy.

01:23:15.220 We make up our own rules.

01:23:17.020 NCIS,

01:23:17.700 Tony and Ziva now streaming on Paramount plus.

01:23:25.040 Earlier this week,

01:23:26.180 the New York times dropped a poll showing that nearly two thirds of the

01:23:29.760 democratic party does not want Biden to run again.

01:23:33.060 They want a different nominee on their ticket in 2024.

01:23:36.540 The vast majority of those are,

01:23:39.000 you know,

01:23:39.180 the number one reason amongst those was his age.

01:23:43.320 They think he's too old.

01:23:44.320 He'd be pushing 90 at the end of his second term,

01:23:47.380 which is just incredible.

01:23:48.380 I mean,

01:23:48.620 for to think about having an 86 year old president,

01:23:51.680 it's like,

01:23:51.980 in Israel yesterday,

01:23:54.340 he had another incident that led people to question just what kind of a

01:23:58.200 health,

01:23:58.940 you know,

01:23:59.200 what kind of health he's in.

01:24:00.680 I'll show it to you.

01:24:02.000 And we can talk about whether you think these Democrats are right.

01:24:04.160 This is soundbite nine.

01:24:04.900 And I had a terrible headache here.

01:24:12.960 Excuse me,

01:24:13.580 a terrible headache.

01:24:15.960 And,

01:24:16.420 uh,

01:24:17.360 sorry.

01:24:25.360 I mean,

01:24:27.340 it happens all the time.

01:24:28.740 So what do you make of it?

01:24:29.900 Um,

01:24:32.420 what did he's coughing?

01:24:33.460 I don't think that's that bad.

01:24:34.560 No,

01:24:34.980 just that he's got like some physical issue,

01:24:36.760 you know,

01:24:36.900 like he's wandering or he's coughing or he can't find his words or,

01:24:41.240 you know,

01:24:41.300 he can't remember the name of the Pentagon.

01:24:42.820 He can't remember the name of the defense secretary.

01:24:44.760 He says,

01:24:45.460 we want me to honor the Holocaust as opposed to,

01:24:47.860 you know,

01:24:47.980 the horror of the hall.

01:24:48.840 It's like just every day,

01:24:50.380 you know,

01:24:50.880 and the New York times,

01:24:51.600 they reported days before they released that poll.

01:24:53.900 They reported that the white house staffers are walking around the white

01:24:55.920 house,

01:24:56.200 like every time he speaks and every time he walks near a wire,

01:25:01.460 you know,

01:25:01.840 like there's just,

01:25:02.540 it's just,

01:25:03.100 is he too old to be president?

01:25:06.000 No.

01:25:06.240 Cause the president doesn't do anything.

01:25:09.360 It's a fake job.

01:25:10.900 You know,

01:25:11.180 do you really think that we plot the course of the greatest country in

01:25:14.500 history every four years?

01:25:16.180 You got to be retarded.

01:25:17.340 If you think that's it,

01:25:18.240 like a new guy comes in and like,

01:25:20.160 well,

01:25:20.260 this is what I'm going to do now.

01:25:21.600 It's like,

01:25:22.060 no,

01:25:22.380 it's just there.

01:25:23.220 So we have someone to blame for the shit we're annoyed about.

01:25:26.360 And then a new guy comes in and that's the new guy to blame.

01:25:29.420 And then a new guy comes in and that's the new guy to blame.

01:25:32.400 That's all you are.

01:25:33.780 What is it?

01:25:34.340 A whipping boy?

01:25:35.140 Like,

01:25:35.720 so it doesn't matter.

01:25:36.880 The problem is he's not inspiring.

01:25:38.940 When you get like an exciting,

01:25:40.320 inspiring dude,

01:25:42.020 someone who charges you up,

01:25:43.260 someone who makes you feel proud to be American,

01:25:45.160 it also makes you look good on the global stage.

01:25:47.920 And by good on the global stage,

01:25:49.180 I mean,

01:25:49.460 just bullies everybody else.

01:25:50.800 Like say what you want.

01:25:52.480 Like there was a moment,

01:25:54.040 like there's a moment.

01:25:55.420 And again,

01:25:55.640 I'm,

01:25:56.160 I'm not fucking political.

01:25:57.860 Like there is a moment though,

01:25:59.800 where like,

01:26:00.420 I think Trump was at like the G20 or something like that.

01:26:03.100 And he just pushed a couple of leaders out the way to stand in front.

01:26:06.520 And I was like,

01:26:07.280 that's right.

01:26:09.460 That's right.

01:26:10.700 We don't stand in the back.

01:26:12.700 We're not Sweden.

01:26:14.300 Okay.

01:26:14.740 We're the next thing to America.

01:26:16.780 There should be a red circle for us to stand right in the fucking front.

01:26:20.480 Okay.

01:26:21.560 So I,

01:26:22.320 I like that.

01:26:23.300 And I,

01:26:23.640 I kind of like,

01:26:24.400 I'd like to see a leader do that.

01:26:25.720 Just be like fun,

01:26:26.660 wild,

01:26:27.160 charismatic.

01:26:27.880 You're not going to change a single thing.

01:26:29.360 We're going to be angry at you for all this other stuff.

01:26:31.260 And that's what it is.

01:26:32.500 All right.

01:26:32.760 So if you're,

01:26:33.260 if what you're looking for is charisma,

01:26:34.340 then maybe you are a fan of AOC.

01:26:36.960 Whether you believe in her politics or not,

01:26:38.900 it's hard.

01:26:39.380 Unlikable.

01:26:40.360 Oh,

01:26:40.840 it's a hard thing when you're,

01:26:42.840 you're just saying that.

01:26:43.480 Cause you want to sleep with her.

01:26:44.920 No,

01:26:45.420 not at all.

01:26:47.960 To be honest with you.

01:26:49.260 Not at all.

01:26:50.040 I mean,

01:26:50.280 just hearing about that all just like,

01:26:53.160 you'd have to like hear those opinions,

01:26:54.400 like straight up,

01:26:55.480 like all this,

01:26:56.960 you know what I mean?

01:26:57.740 It is also interesting that like all these like chicks in politics that

01:27:01.880 complain about like the white male patriarchy,

01:27:04.020 all date white guys.

01:27:05.580 That's like,

01:27:06.220 that'd be interesting.

01:27:06.840 Like you don't want to keep that going for some reason.

01:27:09.560 But,

01:27:10.100 but yeah,

01:27:10.980 I don't know.

01:27:11.300 I'm just like,

01:27:11.900 there's an unlikeability in her and it's hard.

01:27:14.760 Like when that exists,

01:27:15.820 it's just,

01:27:16.660 you can't get beyond that.

01:27:18.660 I understand the game she's playing.

01:27:20.020 She's playing it.

01:27:20.540 Fucking brilliant.

01:27:21.520 She knows the currency.

01:27:22.480 She's a congressional Kardashian.

01:27:23.900 That's what she is.

01:27:24.580 She knows exactly how to work the camera.

01:27:26.100 She knows how to work it.

01:27:27.860 She knows how to start the conversation.

01:27:29.240 She knows how to enter conversations.

01:27:31.300 She knows how to not engage when she can't win or get clout out of it.

01:27:35.400 Like she's playing politics very well.

01:27:39.460 And so like objectively I'll be like,

01:27:41.660 Hey,

01:27:41.820 that's,

01:27:42.380 that's,

01:27:42.740 that's good what you're doing.

01:27:43.920 But I just,

01:27:44.560 I find her like unlikable.

01:27:46.880 So she was in the news yesterday because there was a heckler who came up and well,

01:27:54.200 I'll let,

01:27:54.700 I'll let the word speak for themselves,

01:27:56.240 but kind of gave her a hard time.

01:27:57.880 And then she claimed she was going to deck him and started ripping immediately on security

01:28:01.900 on Capitol Hill.

01:28:02.800 She's constantly saying,

01:28:03.620 I'm unprotected.

01:28:04.360 I'm unprotected once again.

01:28:06.500 You know,

01:28:06.740 she's like,

01:28:07.320 whatever.

01:28:07.880 Okay.

01:28:08.080 So here's that bit where she got heckled.

01:28:10.100 Watch.

01:28:11.800 See,

01:28:12.280 my favorite big booty Latina.

01:28:14.000 I love you.

01:28:14.500 You're my favorite.

01:28:15.660 She wants to kill babies,

01:28:17.600 but she's still beautiful.

01:28:19.020 You look very beautiful in that dress.

01:28:20.980 You look very sexy.

01:28:22.220 Look at that booty on AOC.

01:28:24.080 That's my favorite big booty Latina.

01:28:27.020 I love it.

01:28:27.840 My favorite AOC.

01:28:28.840 Nice to meet you.

01:28:29.460 Look how sexy she looks in that dress.

01:28:32.960 Ooh,

01:28:33.420 I love it.

01:28:34.000 AOC.

01:28:34.800 Hot,

01:28:35.040 hot,

01:28:35.160 hot like a tamale.

01:28:36.960 Okay.

01:28:37.400 So his name is Alex Stein.

01:28:38.860 He's definitely doing some harassing,

01:28:40.960 you know,

01:28:41.180 some heckling there.

01:28:42.360 And she later posted about her reaction to it.

01:28:45.580 Here's that.

01:28:47.680 Hey everybody.

01:28:48.600 I'm here in the Capitol.

01:28:50.200 See this guy right there.

01:28:52.960 Right there.

01:28:54.700 He,

01:28:55.040 when I was walking up,

01:28:56.700 he said,

01:28:59.400 Hey,

01:29:00.820 right in front of the Capitol police officer.

01:29:02.860 Hey,

01:29:03.880 here's this,

01:29:06.000 look at that big ass.

01:29:07.360 Look at that big juicy booty.

01:29:09.580 This Latina,

01:29:10.540 like whatever,

01:29:11.100 you know,

01:29:11.340 all the bunch of racist,

01:29:13.640 sexist stuff.

01:29:14.240 And since nobody can do anything,

01:29:18.080 I'm just telling you because,

01:29:21.500 um,

01:29:22.380 this institution is not designed to protect

01:29:25.760 people.

01:29:32.820 And it's really hard.

01:29:33.960 And it's really sad that my only recourse is to just let you know about it.

01:29:38.340 But

01:29:38.860 that's the institution.

01:29:44.640 Oh my God.

01:29:46.640 I'm sorry,

01:29:47.740 but give me a fucking break.

01:29:49.940 You,

01:29:50.500 you're a public figure.

01:29:52.800 Yeah.

01:29:53.400 That guy's a weirdo though.

01:29:54.700 That's a weird thing.

01:29:55.960 Like,

01:29:56.480 fine.

01:29:57.100 He's a weirdo.

01:29:57.740 But can I just tell you,

01:29:58.500 Andrew,

01:29:58.760 this is the same woman who was cheering Brett Kavanaugh,

01:30:02.380 Kavanaugh getting harassed out of his seat at Morton's while he's trying to have a steak.

01:30:06.500 Basically,

01:30:06.820 she's a weirdo.

01:30:07.960 Boo effing who you didn't get to have your dessert.

01:30:10.100 So I don't give a shit that she had to hear big booty Latina.

01:30:14.320 Every woman on earth has heard that in a thousand times worse.

01:30:17.740 And it's not the Capitol police's job to run over and police the guy's words coming out of it.

01:30:22.540 She acts like she's the only one there who needs to be protected.

01:30:25.600 And that every time somebody doesn't run to interfere,

01:30:27.760 to protect her ego,

01:30:28.940 she's been let down again by Capitol security.

01:30:31.860 I've had it with her nonsense victim claims.

01:30:35.960 Yeah.

01:30:36.540 I think that.

01:30:38.100 Yeah,

01:30:38.620 I hear you.

01:30:39.660 I also just think that guy's a weirdo.

01:30:41.880 And like,

01:30:42.540 if that guy was talking to my wife like that,

01:30:44.800 I would beat the fucking shit out of him.

01:30:46.740 Yeah.

01:30:47.000 So I agree.

01:30:47.900 I totally give you that point.

01:30:50.480 Like,

01:30:50.800 I'll be honest.

01:30:51.400 I mean,

01:30:52.280 like if I'm there and he's just talking to AOC like that,

01:30:55.860 I'd be like,

01:30:56.680 bro,

01:30:56.840 what are you doing?

01:30:57.480 I probably,

01:30:58.500 I don't want a guy talking like that.

01:31:00.280 Now,

01:31:00.580 that being said,

01:31:01.660 if it's Nancy Pelosi and those brand new jugs of hers,

01:31:04.620 like you could absolutely talk about that.

01:31:06.780 But that's because those are the people's jugs.

01:31:09.100 Like we've paid,

01:31:10.520 we've paid with our tax dollars for her to get those.

01:31:15.040 So those are also ours.

01:31:16.320 So we are,

01:31:17.840 those are my tits a little bit.

01:31:19.240 Those were shocking pictures.

01:31:21.200 Yeah.

01:31:21.520 That was great.

01:31:22.880 But,

01:31:23.100 uh,

01:31:23.400 I don't,

01:31:24.100 I just feel like,

01:31:24.660 look,

01:31:24.760 it's not,

01:31:25.280 it's not nice that people harass you,

01:31:27.600 but this happens.

01:31:28.960 I,

01:31:29.380 I've been like AOC,

01:31:31.540 both a public figure and not a public figure.

01:31:33.700 And I was not a public figure for the first 34 years of my life.

01:31:37.200 And you can harass like this all the time.

01:31:38.860 It's called being a woman,

01:31:39.940 you know,

01:31:40.220 it's like,

01:31:40.740 please.

01:31:41.320 So it's like,

01:31:42.120 it's not because she's special and the Capitol police did not have some

01:31:45.180 obligation to run over and protect her from mean words.

01:31:48.660 And she's totally fine.

01:31:50.080 Having this done to a guy who just had an assassination attempt on his

01:31:53.780 life.

01:31:54.460 It's fine for you to do it to him,

01:31:56.960 to scare him out of the back of Morton's,

01:31:59.500 but she can't take a couple of words about her booty.

01:32:02.160 Spare me.

01:32:03.520 Yeah.

01:32:03.880 I mean,

01:32:04.260 I would also say that her booty is not her most flattering asset at all.

01:32:07.940 So like,

01:32:08.800 I think the guy was definitely being hyperbolic.

01:32:11.020 Like,

01:32:11.500 yeah,

01:32:12.400 I think he was just trying to antagonize,

01:32:15.260 which is like annoying.

01:32:16.080 It's like,

01:32:16.480 she actually was known for the booty.

01:32:19.080 Then,

01:32:19.620 then it might be,

01:32:21.320 there might be some truth to it.

01:32:22.720 And maybe he's like a real big fan,

01:32:24.200 but I would say that the,

01:32:25.160 the,

01:32:25.420 the booty is quite pedestrian.

01:32:27.820 It's not,

01:32:28.620 it's not,

01:32:29.840 you know,

01:32:30.460 it's not,

01:32:30.920 it's not the thing,

01:32:31.900 but like,

01:32:32.540 yeah,

01:32:32.660 again,

01:32:32.940 like I think what she does sucks,

01:32:35.300 but I also think what that guy does sucks.

01:32:37.220 I also think that there's nothing sexist,

01:32:39.640 uh,

01:32:40.560 or racist about his comments.

01:32:42.780 I don't think,

01:32:44.220 I think,

01:32:44.500 well,

01:32:44.600 he mentioned Latina.

01:32:46.340 Yeah,

01:32:46.580 but mentioning Latina,

01:32:47.900 she's Latina,

01:32:48.880 like,

01:32:49.380 yeah,

01:32:50.180 right.

01:32:50.600 Like,

01:32:50.700 I think it's Latinks again.

01:32:52.420 I think it's Latinks,

01:32:53.240 please.

01:32:53.400 I've yet to meet a Hispanic person that identifies as Latinks.

01:32:57.700 No,

01:32:58.000 because it's literally 2%,

01:32:59.380 2% of the Hispanic community that likes that.

01:33:01.580 But wait,

01:33:02.200 perhaps you could relate to her on her feminist strain,

01:33:06.960 you know,

01:33:07.160 her,

01:33:07.400 her feminist feelings.

01:33:08.160 I did see in,

01:33:09.840 in your special that you feel,

01:33:12.340 you feel a bond with some of these feminists and their messaging.

01:33:14.760 Yes.

01:33:14.960 And infamous.

01:33:15.740 Here is a clip,

01:33:16.840 which is one of my favorites.

01:33:18.480 This is soundbite four.

01:33:19.300 Ladies,

01:33:21.800 how are we going to get on the same page?

01:33:23.500 We agree on most shit,

01:33:24.800 right?

01:33:26.000 You think that we disagree on a lot,

01:33:27.260 sweetheart?

01:33:27.640 Like what?

01:33:28.100 Like what?

01:33:31.260 Really?

01:33:32.460 I went to one of them women's marches and we had a lot in common.

01:33:36.700 I saw those girls screaming,

01:33:38.120 free the nipple.

01:33:44.480 That sounds pretty good.

01:33:47.600 Right?

01:33:49.300 They're screaming,

01:33:49.960 we should be able to have sex with as many guys as we want.

01:33:52.320 Yes,

01:33:52.540 you should.

01:33:54.480 If we get pregnant,

01:33:55.440 we should be able to abort it.

01:33:56.540 Hopefully.

01:33:58.560 And we need to work so we can pay our half.

01:34:00.660 Hallelujah.

01:34:02.600 Fellas,

01:34:03.020 get down here.

01:34:04.480 It's happening.

01:34:05.400 We've reached common ground.

01:34:08.500 It was unbelievable.

01:34:09.860 These women were fighting for the right to become the men they've always hated.

01:34:14.400 Just walking around with their shirts off,

01:34:16.060 fucking whoever,

01:34:16.840 not worried about the kid.

01:34:17.860 I'm like,

01:34:19.220 are y'all feminists or fuck boys?

01:34:20.720 What is this shit?

01:34:24.280 It's good stuff.

01:34:25.000 Fellas,

01:34:25.140 get down here.

01:34:26.560 Get down here.

01:34:28.480 You know,

01:34:28.980 that's it.

01:34:29.340 I went on it.

01:34:30.120 One of the first dates I ever went on with my wife.

01:34:32.780 I don't even know if it was a date,

01:34:33.640 but there was a woman's march in New York.

01:34:36.060 And,

01:34:36.480 and we went and I like pretended to lead it.

01:34:40.000 Like,

01:34:40.360 I kind of like was at the front.

01:34:41.580 So like I was just walking in front,

01:34:44.000 like marching,

01:34:44.740 like,

01:34:44.980 and my wife was cracking up and I was like,

01:34:46.420 okay,

01:34:46.780 yeah,

01:34:46.900 we're going to be good.

01:34:47.920 And,

01:34:48.320 but I would see the girls and like what they were supporting.

01:34:51.160 There were girls,

01:34:51.540 their tops off and all this other kind of stuff.

01:34:53.440 And I'm like,

01:34:53.880 where do you think the pushback is here?

01:34:56.620 Like,

01:34:57.060 you know what I mean?

01:34:58.160 Like,

01:34:58.760 like what is going on that you think guys are upset that your tits are out?

01:35:03.300 Like,

01:35:03.540 not at all.

01:35:05.440 Right.

01:35:06.000 Like,

01:35:06.220 like really most things that I think women want guys support.

01:35:10.560 I'm,

01:35:11.360 I think,

01:35:12.680 yeah,

01:35:12.900 like I think most guys would look at the dude that was harassing AOC and go,

01:35:16.320 bro,

01:35:16.460 you're a weirdo,

01:35:17.300 man.

01:35:17.420 Just like leave that girl alone.

01:35:19.260 You know,

01:35:19.540 like you're actually just trying to make her feel uncomfortable.

01:35:23.400 Like if you thought her ass was nice and you were trying to get her

01:35:25.580 number and you were like,

01:35:26.860 honestly,

01:35:27.240 you have the most beautiful as I've ever seen in my entire life.

01:35:29.380 That might be inappropriate to say,

01:35:30.840 but like,

01:35:31.360 I would be regretful if I didn't at least ask if I could take you out to

01:35:35.320 dinner.

01:35:35.800 Like,

01:35:36.240 even if she said no guys would be like,

01:35:37.860 I respect that you do that.

01:35:39.240 But you like just trying to make a woman feel uncomfortable.

01:35:42.240 Doesn't like sit right with me,

01:35:44.440 you know?

01:35:45.120 So,

01:35:45.600 uh,

01:35:46.360 yeah,

01:35:46.560 I think that's where I would give some pushback.

01:35:49.320 What do you,

01:35:49.740 what do you make of like these protests at the Supreme court justices homes?

01:35:54.380 I mean,

01:35:55.080 Hey man,

01:35:55.580 this,

01:35:56.140 you know what I mean?

01:35:59.580 Like I,

01:36:00.080 it's uncomfortable,

01:36:00.680 but also you decided to,

01:36:03.080 you know,

01:36:03.580 you decide to take the job for life where you,

01:36:06.440 you decide the rules.

01:36:08.220 You know,

01:36:08.660 you don't,

01:36:09.000 you think that happens and there's no,

01:36:10.680 you don't really decide the rules.

01:36:11.840 You just say what the law is.

01:36:12.920 I mean,

01:36:13.060 that's their job is just to say what the law is.

01:36:14.980 Yeah.

01:36:15.360 But like,

01:36:15.880 if you look at the way that they voted throughout history,

01:36:17.880 they just vote the party line.

01:36:19.300 So it's not like they're,

01:36:20.140 we think they're the most objective people in the world.

01:36:22.400 That's not true.

01:36:22.980 Look at the votes.

01:36:24.980 They did a study on this.

01:36:26.740 It's not true.

01:36:27.320 So in fact,

01:36:28.000 for the most of our constitutional history,

01:36:30.020 most of the justices tend to be more originalist the way that Scalia is.

01:36:34.000 But about a hundred plus years ago,

01:36:35.820 they started to get more partisan,

01:36:37.360 more partisan.

01:36:38.140 And now you can predict how they're going to rule based on,

01:36:40.780 well,

01:36:41.240 ideology is close to judicial philosophy.

01:36:43.680 Recent history,

01:36:44.680 not ancient.

01:36:46.280 I mean,

01:36:46.500 I was just watching a conversation about this when I was at Burning Man once,

01:36:50.300 and there was,

01:36:50.780 they were just breaking down like the votes of the,

01:36:52.940 the Supreme Court justices.

01:36:55.480 And,

01:36:55.740 but yes,

01:36:56.620 it seems like they are more partisan.

01:36:59.580 Probably not the greatest source,

01:37:02.100 but I do think this is the,

01:37:04.140 this is the slippery slope we get into,

01:37:06.360 you know,

01:37:06.520 when you allow protests at the justices homes,

01:37:08.460 which the law prevents,

01:37:09.540 by the way,

01:37:09.880 Maryland just said,

01:37:10.660 it's going to start cracking down on that.

01:37:13.020 Twitter just cracked down on Ruth's group or Ruth sent us for publishing their home addresses.

01:37:18.340 Two months after the harassment began,

01:37:20.620 it's like,

01:37:21.220 okay,

01:37:21.880 we need to be respectful.

01:37:22.600 Let me clarify my opinion.

01:37:24.020 Like,

01:37:24.280 I don't think that anybody should be able to break the law and interfere with people's lives.

01:37:28.420 Just like,

01:37:29.340 I don't want that guy harassing AOC.

01:37:32.460 I also don't want someone showing up at LeBron's house and harassing him for an opinion he has.

01:37:36.700 No,

01:37:36.720 but you don't want somebody showing up at Amy Coney Barrett's house,

01:37:39.280 even if it's consistent with the law.

01:37:41.180 I don't want kids inside and,

01:37:43.440 you know,

01:37:43.700 10 year old.

01:37:44.220 These are people's homes.

01:37:45.380 It's bullshit.

01:37:45.980 But if you want to protest the Supreme Court and you want to stand outside the Supreme Court,

01:37:51.280 you have the freedom and right in America to do that.

01:37:53.560 That's American.

01:37:54.720 Yes.

01:37:55.180 So I agree.

01:37:55.940 I think that there is a line that is being crossed 100%.

01:37:59.280 And so I just want to clarify that.

01:38:01.440 I think that these people,

01:38:03.000 we can't stop people from protesting them.

01:38:06.960 We can't and we shouldn't.

01:38:08.280 If you stop people from protesting,

01:38:09.140 but the whole debate is about other recourse.

01:38:12.020 The whole debate is about at the homes,

01:38:14.320 you know,

01:38:14.720 and it's too much.

01:38:15.700 It's too close.

01:38:16.680 It's too close.

01:38:17.360 It crosses an inappropriate and not in the restaurants.

01:38:19.860 And I don't care whether it's a Democrat or Republican,

01:38:22.000 a judge or a Congress person,

01:38:23.760 leave them alone in their personal lives.

01:38:25.160 It's important to the rest of us that they get to be humans.

01:38:27.940 Unless it's Nancy Pelosi and then big old fucking thing she's got.

01:38:35.080 It's those need to be discussed.

01:38:37.900 They need to be talked about.

01:38:39.440 They need to be studied.

01:38:40.840 They need to be hooked up to a dairy farm.

01:38:43.540 They need to do certain things with those things because that,

01:38:48.620 that what she's doing is not American.

01:38:50.520 This is why infamous is going to get so many hits.

01:38:55.480 You can get it for yourself.

01:38:56.940 Please do get it for yourself.

01:38:57.960 So we want to support Andrew.

01:38:59.500 So much fun talking to you.

01:39:00.960 Thank you so much for being here.

01:39:02.280 Go support his new special.

01:39:04.460 Theandrewschultz.com is where you can buy.

01:39:06.080 It comes out on Sunday,

01:39:06.720 but get now and you can pre-register.

01:39:10.020 Thanks for listening to the Megan Kelly show.

01:39:12.160 No BS,

01:39:12.980 no agenda,

01:39:13.860 and no fear.

01:39:14.640 Now streaming on Paramount Plus.

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01:39:26.620 Until our names are cleared.

01:39:29.180 We're fugitives from interval.

01:39:30.980 Like Bonnie and Clyde with better snacks.

01:39:34.420 Espionage.

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The Megyn Kelly Show - July 15, 2022

Disrupting the Entertainment Industry, Empathy on Abortion, and Shark Attacks, with Andrew Schulz ｜ Ep. 358

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