Fraud Week: Fiancé Doctor Pulls Off Personal and Medical Fraud, with Journalist Benita Alexander | Ep. 814
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 43 minutes
Words per Minute
184.53703
Summary
This week on The Megyn Kelly Show, we begin the week with the story of an NBC News producer who fell in love with a super surgeon, a pioneer, a miracle worker. That surgeon was Dr. Paolo Macchiarini. The handsome George Clooney lookalike doctor was once the darling of the medical world. He promised incredible developments in regenerative medicine. He was the first person to transplant synthetic windpipes into patients. While covering Paolo for an NBC special, producer Benita Alexander fell for the doctor. But romantic getaways soon turned into a bed of lies.
Transcript
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Welcome to The Megyn Kelly Show, live on Sirius XM channel 111 every weekday at noon east.
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Hey everyone, I'm Megyn Kelly. Welcome to The Megyn Kelly Show. It's fraud week on the show
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this week and we are bringing you incredible and disturbing true crime stories, all featuring some
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element of fraud. That's all I'm going to say because I don't want to give any of the stories
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away. Lots of them take different and unexpected twists and turns. We begin the week with the
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story of an NBC News producer who fell in love with a super surgeon, a pioneer, a miracle worker.
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That surgeon was Dr. Paolo Macchiarini. The handsome George Clooney lookalike doctor was once the darling
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of the medical world. He promised incredible developments in regenerative medicine. He was
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the first person to transplant synthetic windpipes into patients. While covering Paolo for an NBC
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special, producer Benita Alexander fell for the doctor. But romantic getaways soon turned into
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a bed of lies. Benita Alexander is here to tell her story.
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Benita, it's great to meet you. Thank you so much for being here.
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Thanks for having me, Megan. It's great to be here.
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Okay. I've been watching all of it. I did. I watched the Dr. Death thing that originally did
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this. And then the Netflix special, of course, you did a special on investigative. I mean, like I'm
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obsessed with your story. It's just nuts. There's so much about it that I find incredibly
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telling and complex and it raises so many issues. Not to mention the fact that you were a star
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news producer and I love star news producers. You remind me in so many ways of my own star news
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producers who I love on my team. And it's one of those things where like, if this could happen to
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you, it could happen to anybody. Not only are you smart and savvy, but you are literally in the
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business of detecting bullshit. And yet, right? So that's, those are some things that make it so
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compelling. So let's start at the beginning for people who are not aware of the story. And even
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people who are aware are going to be interested to hear you tell it as I have been so many times.
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You're an NBC news producer and you get asked by Meredith producer or Meredith Vieira, who is
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an NBC to work on a special based on a doctor that she had read about, I guess, in a magazine,
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because this guy, Paolo Macchiarini was getting some press at the time for this very innovative thing he
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was doing in medicine. So take us there. Yeah, we were actually looking at doing a
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documentary about regenerative medicine, which is this very promising, exciting field where to boil
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it down to its most simple terms, we're looking at a future where you make new body parts and organs
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in the lab. And this has so much potential, right? To eradicate the need for donor organs and all the
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problems that come with it, and just basically go to the go to lab and order a new body part. And so
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there's a lot of excitement attached to this field. And when we started looking into it, Dr. Paolo
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Macchiarini's name kept coming up, he was considered the pioneer in this field, the at the forefront of
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this groundbreaking revolutionary field. And his nickname was a super surgeon. And he worked at the
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place in Sweden that awards the Nobel Prize in medicine. And so there were tons of accolades,
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tons of press. I mean, he kind of had this reputation, like he walked on water and people
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were clamoring to work with him. And there was just a lot of excitement surrounding this man.
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So you decide to do a profile on him along, he gets, he's going to get the long form NBC treatment.
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And this is in advance of him performing one of these surgeries on a little two-year-old girl,
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right? And where was she located? So he was about to do one of his transplants on this Korean toddler,
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beautiful little girl named Hannah, who had tragically been born with no windpipe at all.
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So she had spent her entire little life in the hospital. She had never left the hospital. And she was
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going to be the first toddler that had received one of these transplants and also the youngest person
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in the world and the first one ever operated on in the US. And so that made that case appealing to us.
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And then I talked to her family who were just the most beautiful people, her parents, and they had
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been through so much, you know, trying to save this little girl's life. And they were besides themselves.
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And they thought that Dr. Paolo Macchiarini was the answer to their prayers, basically the savior.
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He was going to step in and save the day when nobody else could. And that was the reputation
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that this man had. And so we decided to focus our story around Hannah and her family and follow her
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surgery. So you and he have to spend a lot of time together as much as the anchor spend some time
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with the star guest on a piece like that. The producers spend way more time with him. The
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producers all do, but especially the lead, which you were. And what happened? Like he was, is a good
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looking man. He does look a little like George Clooney. Um, he's, is he, I can't remember what he's
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Italian. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. He's got that going for him too. Exactly. He's very charming. He's one of
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those people that has that quality that when he walks into a room, you know, he turns head people,
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people pay attention to him. He's got that commanding presence. You know, he's very arrogant,
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very confident, very self-assured. He speaks five or six different languages. You know, he's Italian.
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He dressed very well. He's, um, he's, you know, he's kind of flirtatious with everybody,
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men and women. And he's got that confident air. And also on top of that, here, he is doing something
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that literally nobody else in the world was doing. He's rumored to be in contention for a Nobel prize
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himself. And he seemed to be very devoted to giving hope to patients who had no other hope. So there
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was something very intriguing about him and something very admirable. And so just start with all that,
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you know, and we, we had a joke in the office that, Oh, you know, he's a storage Clooney lookalike.
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He definitely had that appeal. But then when I met him, he seemed to be incredibly caring. We were
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friends first. We just started talking a lot over, you know, a coffee after a shoot, a dinner after a
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shoot on long plane rides. We flew Hannah all the way from Korea to Illinois. I at the time was at a
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very vulnerable place in my life. I would not realize how vulnerable until much later and how
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susceptible that made me, but my ex-husband of our then nine-year-old daughter was tragically dying
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of brain cancer. And I was sort of holding it together at work, but inside, I think I was
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crumbling. I was facing the enormity of what this meant for the rest of her life, for our lives.
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How was I going to cope with this? How was she going to cope with this? You know, all of it. And I
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started pouring my heart out to him and he just seemed like such an attentive, caring listener.
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And that's what kind of blew me away. It was none of the other stuff. It was the fact that this man
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seemed to genuinely care about this little girl, my daughter, that he'd never met. And that's what got
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me. He, in, in some of these documentaries, they show clips of him with Hannah, the two-year-old
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girl and with other patients and his bedside manner seems impeccable. It's beautiful.
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Exactly. Exactly. And that's so I see how you were fooled. Yeah. Well, that's, I look at those
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videos now and I think, you know, damn it. That's exactly the way he was with me. I mean, he appears
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to be exactly the opposite of what he actually is and what he actually turned out to be, but he,
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he just seemed so caring, so genuinely caring and, um, attentive and really a really good listener.
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You know, now, of course I realized he was gathering information to use against me, but at the time I
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just thought he was an incredible human being. Oh, that's very interesting. I want to return to
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that. I haven't heard you cover that in your earlier pieces, but there's a lot I want to ask
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you that I, you know, just watching all of this, I have a lot of questions for you outside of the
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story that I'm like, I got to know this and I got to, okay. Gathering information. We got to come
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back to that. Um, so it moves quickly and we can spend a minute on the ethical piece. You're not
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really supposed to date your, the subject of your piece. You knew that sometimes it happens. It's not
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great, but you know, you deal with it when it happened in this case, it is interesting that it
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happened because, you know, in retrospect, do you believe he made it happen so that you would
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be so distracted by him and your blossoming love affair that you would not be paying attention
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to the medical problems surrounding his supposedly, you know, groundbreaking work?
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I now believe that I was targeted from day one. You know, he had a plan from day one and it was not
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what I thought it was. You know, I thought we were genuinely falling in love and this man was sweeping
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me off my feet. I now believe when I met him in 2013, the world still thought he was the super
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surgeon. He was a superstar. You know, he was doing this groundbreaking pioneering procedure,
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you know, getting all sorts of press, all sorts of accolades behind the scenes. The whistleblowers
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were starting to figure out that something was wrong. Patients were dying. However, at the time,
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he was still sticking by what he said and has continued to say all along that whenever you do
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an experimental procedure, patients do die, which is actually true. You know, you look at heart
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transplants, lung transplants, anything new, radical and experimental patients do die at the beginning.
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However, you know, what he wasn't telling the world and what nobody knew yet was that he had not done
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one single one of the preliminary steps that you're supposed to do before doing an experimental
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procedure on humans. He had literally skipped everything and he's standing at press conferences
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and interviews saying that his patients are doing beautifully well when in fact they were suffering
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and they were dying slow, horrible deaths. He's lying about the success in papers. So all this is
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happening. The world does not know this yet. Unfortunately, I wish we had, but he had to
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know, right, that it was going to implode. It was a matter of time. It was a, it was just a ticking time
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bomb. So I think he met me and he thought, okay, here's this successful, smart journalist. Um, I'm going
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to make her fall in love with me. And when the shit hits the fan, I'm going to have her in my back
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pocket. So she's going to protect me. I think that's exactly what he was doing. I think he was using me.
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Yeah. Because you're a top producer, all sorts of awards, Edward R Murrow and so on. And you're
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working for one of the top anchors at NBC as well, uh, on this piece, Meredith Vieira. And, um, you're
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super smart. So if he can get you to vouch for him in this piece on an ongoing basis, it's huge.
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That's gold. So I can see, yeah, that was my suspicion in watching it. Cause that's one of my big
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questions all along is why, why, why, why, why, why did he do this to her? And especially because
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you were so vulnerable and you were going through this personal family tragedy and your poor daughter.
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So, okay. So that's our suspicion right now is that it was an intentional latching on.
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You're supposed to be investigating him. I mean, a producer investigates, but it's not like you're
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treated like a private detective where you really expected to unearth any crime attached to the guy.
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You have to do a reasonable level of research on him when you were doing that and also falling in
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love. Were there red flags? You know, did you see that patients had been dying on this? You know,
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he had this fake trachea that he would put this to do this synthetic trachea that he would coat in
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the patient's own stem cells and put it in their necks as a new trachea to replace one stricken by
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cancer. Or in the case of the little girl, Hannah, that was never there that she'd been born without
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one. So had you seen any of those red flags or deaths? You know, there were, there was an
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investigation in Italy, which had nothing to do with the plastic tracheas. And he was put on house
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arrest and accused of extortion. And that raised some red flags for a minute. We actually considered
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putting the story on hold. And in fact, there was a hold in bringing Hannah to Illinois during that
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time while the FDA investigated. But then the lawyers in Illinois came back, the FDA came back and
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everybody said, no, it's fine. He's clear. The charges were dropped. It's, you know, all a
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misunderstanding. And so that seemed fine. And if the FDA, FDA is endorsing him and, you know, a hospital
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still bringing him all the way to Illinois to do this very radical transplant, that seemed okay.
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With the patients dying, he was still at the time able to stick by this argument that these patients
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are pioneers. And whenever you do something experimental, you're learning and people do die.
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And all of that is valid if you've done everything you're supposed to do. But again,
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what nobody knew is that he hadn't done everything he was supposed to do. And he was literally using
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people as human guinea pigs. I mean, it's, it's atrocious. It's all beyond awful. But at the time,
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you, the patients, even the patients that died, their families were still supporting him.
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The hospital in Illinois still supported him after Hannah died. And the FDA was backing him.
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Karolinska, for goodness sakes, the place that awards the Nobel Prize in medicine, they're still
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employing him. They're still endorsing him. They're still backing him. So there was no reason,
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you know, really to doubt him. And anytime you're doing something radically new, and you're a pioneer,
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you're going to have critics, of course, right? And he did have critics. But most of the criticism
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was about the fact that he was running all over the world. And he didn't stick around long after
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doing the transplants to take care of the patients. And he seemed more like an arrogant surgeon than
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anything else. There just wasn't, there wasn't enough there yet. You know, unfortunately, I,
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in hindsight, God, I wish we had known, but nobody did.
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Sure. If you had approached and it was like, well, nine out of nine patients have died.
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He would have done a very different, a hard turn away from this guy. I, I, exactly fully,
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but I understand medicine and these new procedures do go through, you know, highs and lows when they're
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first being unleashed. And he was pretty open about that. He was talking about that in a way that sounded
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credible. Like, Hey, you know, these are experimental procedures. I'm not trying to hide that.
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And I only am really kind of doing it on people who have no hope, who are willing to take this huge
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risk. And yet what he knew, what they didn't know is, you know, they, they hasn't, this hasn't been
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tested. He didn't do the animal trials. He's done nothing. You are a human Guinea pig. You're the
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first line of experimentation. And there's been no success with it so far. Here he is. Um, this is from
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bad surgeon, uh, on Netflix, uh, um, and it's footage from an old interview of Paolo talking
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about this very issue. The more complex surgery is to more higher, the chances of risk you take
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the first liver transplant, the first kidney transplant, the first heart transplant, did they
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go all well? No, we don't have the magic crystal to show in the, to look in the future. I think that
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this is the future. Okay. And we'll get to the specifics unfolding after this. So you're working
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with him in early 2013 on this NBC news piece and things are starting to unfold. You're spending lots
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of time together over in Europe. It's romantic and you know, it's not exactly professional, but it's
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hard. And I'm sure you're feeling sad over your ex-husband dying and all the things. And then it was
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what, uh, June of 2013, you flew to Venice, had an incredibly romantic weekend. By the way,
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he was very generous. This was not a financial con. He paid for everything. Everything. I mean,
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that's one of the things that distinguishes him. And it's also so perplexing because most
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con artists, you look at somebody like the Tinder swindler or all these other ones that we've heard
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of their motive is money, right? They're, they're trying to get money. Money was a non-issue. He was
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exceedingly generous, you know, over the top generous, not just with me and my daughter,
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my friends, my family, you know, lavish vacations, everything over the top. He would take 20 people
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out to dinner and pay for everything, you know, buy the most expensive champagne. I mean, he was just
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extraordinarily extravagant and generous. Um, you know, I, even, even things like I had a friend that
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was going through breast cancer and he insisted that we send her some money for her treatment
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because she was struggling at the time. He, yeah, money was a non-issue.
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Mm-hmm. So Christmas 2013, he proposed things move very quickly. Had the piece aired yet?
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No, but it was, we were done shooting it. We had been done shooting it for a while and it's,
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it's sat for a long time as, as you know, stories sometimes do before they actually hit the air.
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And this one sat for a long time. It was, I think June of 2014, when it finally aired,
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it might've been April, May. Um, but it was, it sat for a long time, which was frustrating. I mean,
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we were in a difficult position. I mean, as you said, I had crossed this invisible, but very
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important ethical line that you're not supposed to cross in journalism for a very good reason,
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right? You don't get involved with the source of your story because then your objectivity could go
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out the window. And it wasn't like, I didn't struggle with that. I did. And I had actually
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pushed him away for a few months and said, we have to wait. We have to wait until the story airs. We
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can't, we can't be together, but it was just so difficult, especially in the wake of my ex-husband
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actually passing away. And then I had my own health scare on top of it the same year. And even all my
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friends and family were just like, are you crazy? This man's nuts about you. You know,
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he's madly in love with you. What are you waiting for? Um, but this proposal was a surprise and,
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and that's another, in hindsight, another red flag. It is things moved very, very quickly,
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you know, and in the normal trajectory, trajectory of a relationship, you know, things take time,
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right? It takes time to fall in love, but as that's one similar similarity, he does have to other
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con artists. Everything was on the fast track. Everything was moving at rapid fire speed. You know,
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he said, I love you very quickly. He was talking about marrying me very quickly, moving in very
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quickly because he was in a rush. I didn't realize that. Right. I just thought it was all very romantic,
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but, um, so yeah. And the, the beauty of the proposal, because this man was so over the top
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with everything, you know, I'd walk into a hotel room and there'd be every time the rose petals all
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over the floor, you know, bouquets everywhere, champagne everywhere. And the proposal was just simple.
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It was just me and my daughter and Paolo at home at Christmas. And he just handed me a little box
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without saying anything. And I had no idea it was coming, but yeah, we, we actually have a bit of
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you talking about this, uh, in the, in the special bad surgeon. Again, that's the Netflix version of
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Benita story. Here it is. Fast forward Christmas, 2013. Paolo came to stay in New York with me.
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It was very casual. He cooked a big elaborate meal. He handed me this little box and I opened the box
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and it's this beautiful diamond ring. Oh my God. I just, I, I kind of froze.
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And then I'd said to him, is this what I think it is? And he just smiled and he nodded as wow. You
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know, I was completely floored. Hmm. So he was love bombing you. Yeah. I mean, it was a long,
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slow form of love bombing because we were together almost two years and it never stopped in the two
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years. It wasn't this sort of only love bombing you at the beginning, but the love, love bombing
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is very calculated. Also, everything about this, I think was calculated. The love bombing is designed,
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you know, you're, you feel like you're in the clouds, you're floating sort of on a cloud of bliss.
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And it's in very intentional because then you don't look at anything else. You don't question
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anything. You don't, it's designed to sort of put you in a haze and distract you from what's really
00:21:18.880
going on. I wonder, you know, as I watched that, I think maybe it was just a personal preference.
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I'm not sure. I feel like if somebody did that to me, like constantly, cause I saw every voicemail
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was like, my love, my love. I think I'd be like, eh, and it's a no, but would you have said that too
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prior to meeting him? Yeah. A hundred percent. That's not my style at all. And actually we did have,
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you know, it's interesting because not only was it always these consistent, lavish,
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over the top gestures, but also he was videotaping everything all the time. Like the video camera
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was never not on. And so we had arguments about that. I said, you know, number one, I don't need
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all this. You don't need to do something every time we go on vacation. It's too much, you know,
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it's kind of embarrassing, you know, everything was a show. And also why do you have to videotap
00:22:08.780
everything? We don't have to, you know, document every moment, which now is bizarre. It was sort of like
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he was documenting his own demise. Cause he left me with so much video. It's wonderful.
00:22:19.180
Yeah. Um, but it's cool. Can I ask you why, why do you think he was doing that? Because you think
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somebody who's, and we'll get into the details of what exactly, you know, we know now about him
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while he was doing all this, but you think anybody who's doing something somewhat nefarious
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would not want it all on tape. Which is interesting because now when I talk to women who've been conned by
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men, a lot of them talk about the fact that the man would never pose for a photograph with her.
00:22:44.160
Right. But this was exactly the opposite. I think it just goes hand in hand with the
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narcissistic arrogance. I think this man thought he would never get caught. And I think he got a
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sick thrill out of lying to people and conning people. And I just think it was part of the game.
00:23:02.300
Gosh, it's disturbing, but I think you're right. That's how it feels. So he, um, there comes a day
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in which he gets, he reveals to you that he's got, in addition to this amazing ability to create these,
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you know, regenerative tracheas that he implants and the people who are suffering, he's got this secret
00:23:25.880
client list and he's got this secret life as VIP surgeon to the most well-known people on earth.
00:23:35.480
And I have to say, I defend you on this piece of the story. I believe coming into it with this amount
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of press and this amount of like medical professionals touting this guy, this would be believable. This
00:23:48.780
is who Barack Obama might quietly see on the side. Right. So give us a feel for the number of, you know,
00:23:55.880
celebs he said he was secretly catering to. So it first came up actually right after he proposed
00:24:02.120
because it was Christmas and he said he couldn't stick around for new year's and I was not happy
00:24:06.160
about it. And I kept peppering him with questions. Well, you know, where do you have to go? And he
00:24:10.220
kept saying, it's an important surgery. It's an important surgery. I'm like, come on. And finally,
00:24:14.140
that's when he said, look, I have to tell you something. And of course it was all built up with,
00:24:18.260
I've never told this to anyone before. Even my ex-wife doesn't know about this and blah, blah.
00:24:22.980
Um, and he said, I'm part of a clan, very clandestine secret network of doctors from around
00:24:30.540
the world with all different specialties. And we cater to the world's most important people,
00:24:35.860
famous people, dignitaries, because these people don't want their private medical life,
00:24:41.000
you know, no known in public. And he told me that new year said he was going to take care of Hillary
00:24:47.860
Clinton and that he had been taking care of the Clintons for some time and that he was friends with Bill
00:24:52.500
Clinton. I thought it was ridiculous. And I, I said, that's, I've never heard of anything like
00:24:58.100
this. That's, this is absurd. However, I did call, I called a friend in LA who's very connected,
00:25:03.440
um, to a lot of celebrities. And I just said, look, you know, is this feasible? You know? And
00:25:07.940
you know, she said, Benita, come on. She said, you don't think these people have private personal
00:25:12.340
doctors? Of course they do. They all do. You know, they all have doctors that fly to them privately and,
00:25:17.420
you know, they're private jets. They don't want everything made public. So on the one hand,
00:25:22.240
it seemed, yeah. So on the one hand, it seemed absurd and on the other, it didn't. And I understand
00:25:28.400
why people who have never sort of been in these circles or don't understand this type of lifestyle
00:25:34.040
would go, come on, that's not true. But I don't think it's so far from the truth, you know, and
00:25:38.640
not far from the truth. I don't have such a doctor in my life, though. I would love,
00:25:41.900
but I know doctors as friends who get, they get offered $250,000 to fly to Saudi Arabia and help
00:25:49.880
somebody. If you have enough money, this is how you live. And this is how you expect to be taken
00:25:54.400
care of. Right. Right. So he, the, the name sort of dribbled out over time because it was all,
00:26:01.480
you know, so secretive and he wasn't supposed to be telling me, but it ended up being, um, I mean,
00:26:08.380
all kinds of people, the emperor of Japan of all people was in there people in Russia because he
00:26:13.520
had a very, very lucrative multi million, if not billion dollar grant, um, in Russia to do clinical
00:26:20.440
trials in Russia. So he said, he did have that. Yeah, that was real. Yeah, that was real. And then
00:26:26.640
all kinds of celebrities, you know, the Obamas, the Clintons, the Sarkozy's from France. I'm trying
00:26:33.240
to remember who they all were. It was a long list and, and people at the Vatican, which will become
00:26:39.660
very instrumental. So you're going to get married, but he can't spend New Year's with you because he's
00:26:47.320
got to go take care of some very important clients. And these are his secret patients. And then
00:26:52.500
I do not understand this piece of the story. I, I don't understand. I'll help you. Why,
00:26:59.100
why did he say, let's get married by the Pope? So at the Pope's summer residence, the apostolic
00:27:09.260
palace of, uh, castle Gandolfo. Why? Yeah. Why take it there? Well, yeah, this, this gets
00:27:18.060
unfortunately very simplified. And I understand from an outsider's perspective, why people say,
00:27:22.700
Oh, give me a break. You know, she really thought that sorry, fucking Pope was going to marry her.
00:27:26.740
Like who believes that I get that, but it did not happen like that. It was a very, very slow,
00:27:33.140
meticulous weaving of this very clever lie. It started with, he wanted a big Catholic wedding
00:27:39.920
in Italy. And I said, well, how's that going to work? You know, we're both divorced or so I thought,
00:27:44.840
and I'm not even Catholic, you know, and I don't know much about the Catholic religion,
00:27:48.800
but I don't think Italy lets divorcees get married in the Catholic church. And he said,
00:27:53.180
don't worry about it. I'll take care of it all. Um, I was very, very busy at the time. Um, I had
00:27:59.820
a new job at NBC. Meredith had a new talk show and I was working crazy hours. And he said, look,
00:28:04.360
you're too busy. Let me take over the planning of the wedding. Let me go and find us a priest in
00:28:09.560
Italy that will marry us. And so he spent months actually, supposedly going to one church after
00:28:17.320
another in, in Italy, trying to find a priest that would marry us. And he would send me pictures
00:28:24.720
of these churches. He would send me long texts, you know, all kinds of stuff. And this went on
00:28:31.320
for months and months and months. And finally he just said, I can't find a priest that's willing
00:28:35.560
to marry two divorcees. And I said, what are we going to do? And he said, uh, you know, I, I said,
00:28:44.220
maybe we should think of something else. Maybe we should go and get married on a beach.
00:28:47.500
And he said, look, um, I'm going to go to Rome and call in a favor. And I said, what do you mean?
00:28:53.340
And he said, I'm going to go to the Vatican. Now, as ridiculous as that sounds, he had told me that
00:28:59.220
he had done consulting work at the Vatican, which again, as absurd as it sounds on the one hand also
00:29:04.760
made sense. This is one of the world's leading cardiothoracic surgeons. This is a man who's rumored
00:29:11.720
to be in contention for the Nobel prize, who is doing something that nobody else in the world is doing.
00:29:16.420
He's Italian. Why wouldn't he be called in to consult at the Vatican? And he had told me and
00:29:21.620
many other people that he had helped consult on the previous Pope's healthcare who actually had
00:29:27.100
his trachea taken out, had a tracheotomy. He did not say that he took care of him directly. He just
00:29:31.780
said that he was called to the Vatican to help. And I had heard other doctors talking about this.
00:29:36.860
I had seen paperwork talking about the work that Paolo had done at the Vatican. So this was not
00:29:43.200
so ridiculous. And that's when he told me, look, the Pope is one of my clients. He's one of my secret
00:29:50.240
celebrity clients and that I'm not allowed to tell anybody. So then he says, he's going to the Vatican
00:29:55.660
to ask him for help ostensibly finding us a priest to marry us. And that's when everything went crazy
00:30:02.760
town, because he calls me after this meeting. This was now October of 2014. And he says, look,
00:30:09.740
I have great news. They've agreed to help us. They'll find a priest that will marry us. And I
00:30:15.240
said, great. And he said, and there's something else, you know, and it's all so dramatic. He said,
00:30:19.500
sit down and all this nonsense. And he said, Pope Francis actually agreed to marry us himself.
00:30:24.820
And I said, oh, bullshit. You know, I said, the Pope doesn't even marry people. You know,
00:30:28.300
I thought he was playing some kind of game with me, to be honest. And I was so pissed off.
00:30:32.120
And I actually hung the phone up on him. And I went straight to my desk. I was at work and I
00:30:37.680
literally Googled, does the Pope marry people? But what popped up was one month earlier, September
00:30:43.540
of 2014, the Pope had married 20 couples in the Vatican. And these were all couples that were
00:30:48.740
quote unquote, living in sin, you know, that were not, had children out of wedlock or whatever.
00:30:53.200
So the Pope actually can marry people if he wants to. That's the first thing people think he can't,
00:30:58.820
he can, if he wants to. So it took some convincing, you know, it took about three,
00:31:03.660
four days, maybe a week, actually, of Paolo convincing me. And this was also very clever.
00:31:09.680
His argument to me was that because he was a Pope's personal private doctor,
00:31:14.380
and because this is this very forward thinking progressive Pope, that the Pope had been looking
00:31:20.760
for a couple of divorces, that he could use a sort of poster, a poster couple to marry publicly,
00:31:27.180
to make a statement that he was willing to open the doors of the Catholic Church to divorces. And
00:31:33.180
the Pope wanted to do Paolo a favor to thank him for being his private personal doctor. And we
00:31:39.980
now needed to do the Pope a favor and do this. And so it almost became not about us anymore. It wasn't
00:31:46.580
even about our wedding. Paolo made it sound like this was an obligation that by virtue of he wanted
00:31:52.540
to do this for the Pope. And by virtue of being his fiance, I had to go along for the ride. And I
00:31:57.460
needed to do this because this was going to I might not care because I'm not Catholic. But this would
00:32:02.100
help open the doors of the Catholic Church to, you know, divorces. And in that context,
00:32:09.200
it makes sense because, yes, this is not just like Joe Schmoe, who exactly Olive Garden saying that
00:32:16.400
the Pope wants to perform the wedding. Exactly. Well, that's what I always say. It's not like I
00:32:21.080
woke up one day and he went, hey, the Pope's going to marry us. And I went, oh, great. You know,
00:32:24.780
it just it just didn't happen like that. You know, you know, he had credentials that could
00:32:29.480
potentially make that an actual thing, or at least some of them were real and some of them were fake.
00:32:34.880
But he had been laying the foundation for you to believe all of this, this level of lie
00:32:39.740
for months. Right. So it's not as outlandish as it seems. What I don't understand what I so I
00:32:47.700
understood all that. Like I saw how he how he got you. What I don't understand is now with retrospect,
00:32:52.800
can you say, why would he do that? Like, I get why he would woo you and try to reel you in. But why
00:33:02.260
take it to that far potentially catastrophic level? It was unnecessary. Why? Why do you think
00:33:10.100
he complete all of it was unnecessary? And it just kept growing and growing. I don't know. I can't
00:33:16.760
get inside the man's head. You know, I'm not I'm not an expert. I can't diagnose him. I believe
00:33:21.380
he's at a minimum a pathological liar. I think he's probably also a sociopath. And he's an extreme
00:33:29.400
narcissist. And I think people like that don't really have a plan. I think they get a sick rush
00:33:36.800
out of the lie. You know, they get a high out of it, out of getting away with it. And they
00:33:42.200
they're they keep they usually do get away with it. Right. And so and the more they get away with,
00:33:47.840
the more they want to up the ante and the bigger the high. It's like a drug. And so they don't have
00:33:53.800
a plan. They're just kind of putting one foot in front of the other. And it's like a game,
00:33:57.100
you know, and I think they just think somehow they're going to wiggle the way out of this,
00:34:00.980
because usually they do. Yes, because he did not need to propose to you in the first place.
00:34:07.660
You know, he could have rolled along. As you said, it kind of happened soon. He could have just been
00:34:10.420
rolled rolling along in a relationship if he just wanted you to be close and in his corner.
00:34:15.020
And he certainly didn't need to come up with this. We're going to get none of it, you know,
00:34:19.260
at the pope's private residence by the pope himself. Like, it was so extraordinary.
00:34:24.240
And I completely agree with every word you said about the high they get. And I do think,
00:34:31.620
yes, it's no accident he chose you as an NBC News producer and somebody with access to,
00:34:36.320
you know, power and messaging that could be beneficial to him. But I also think your smarts
00:34:41.900
were part of the calculation. He enjoyed that. He liked that.
00:34:46.720
Exactly. That's part of the rush. I think they often target smart, intelligent women because that
00:34:52.400
is part of the rush. You know, if I can, if I can pull it over on her, you know, it just, and that
00:34:57.740
also going back to an earlier thing with all the extravagant, elaborate surprises he was doing,
00:35:04.500
I always thought that was for me, right? You know, the roses, the, the lavish trips, the everything.
00:35:11.200
And I now realize it wasn't for me at all. None of it. It was all about feeding his ego. You know,
00:35:16.360
when we went to a hotel and the staff was gushing because, you know, they had helped prepare the
00:35:21.920
room with all the roses and the champagne and women at desks were pulling me aside and saying,
00:35:27.520
you know, does he have a brother? How do I meet somebody like him? And I, it was all for show.
00:35:32.360
It's all for his ego. It's all about narcissism. None of it had to do with me,
00:35:36.760
me swooning over him and me being in awe of, you know, the adulation and just adoring him was just
00:35:46.640
feeding his narcissistic ego. It's in part, it's a conquest. He said, uh, Andrea Bocelli was going to
00:35:54.100
sing during the wedding service. I mean, right in line with all these extraordinary attendees. He said,
00:36:00.800
he said that, uh, among those who would be attending the wedding would include Mr. Mrs. Obama,
00:36:06.180
Mr. Mrs. Clinton, Sarkozy, Vladimir Putin. I mean, he really, but again, he's got actual
00:36:12.040
connections to all, he is performing these, you know, swing for the fence of surgeries in Russia.
00:36:17.240
So it's not, it, it sounds crazy now. We know it is crazy now, but yeah, she's built it up
00:36:23.660
appropriately. But then here's another big moment, uh, in anticipation of your move to Europe to be his
00:36:31.280
wife. Uh, you on May 13th left your job at NBC and notified your daughter's school that she would
00:36:38.420
not be coming back. I know this maybe seems small ball in the grants, but like he let you quit your
00:36:45.240
job. He let you pull your daughter out of school. Exactly. Exactly. And it was a very difficult decision
00:36:54.960
for me to make. I mean, I loved my job. You know, I had a very, very successful career. I never,
00:36:59.620
if you had told me before I met Paulo that I would give up everything to write off into the sunset with
00:37:04.880
Mr. Charming, I would have laughed at you. You know, I mean, I'm not that kind of person. I've
00:37:08.500
never been, you know, the kind of, you're a news producer. Yeah. It's a bunch of cynical mofos in
00:37:14.460
this business. And that's the only way you can be a good news producer. Exactly. You know,
00:37:19.020
the Cinderella shit is not for me. So I just, and it was a difficult decision, but it seemed like
00:37:24.880
the right thing to do. I was very cognizant of what my daughter was going through after having
00:37:29.960
lost her dad. And I thought Paulo, he was never going to replace her dad, but he seemed to be
00:37:36.260
a good man and somebody that would be good for both of us. He promised to take care of both of us for
00:37:42.380
the rest of our lives. And I thought this would be a good new start for us. And so I made this difficult
00:37:47.880
decision to, to leave my job and, and even uprooting my daughter, you know, what children
00:37:56.020
need after something traumatic and tragic like that is, you know, consistency and normalcy. And I was
00:38:02.480
pulling her away from everything that she knew. And he allowed me to do that. He sat in front of my
00:38:08.160
daughter. This still burns me to this day, talking about the school he had enrolled her in, in
00:38:14.040
Barcelona and the life she was going to live in Barcelona and on and on and on about this in
00:38:18.520
Barcelona. And then in Barcelona, how the hell you do that to a child who just lost her dad to brain
00:38:23.700
cancer is beyond me. But yeah, he took it to such extreme lengths, you know, and the whole time.
00:38:31.160
But of course, you know, what we, what we know is that at the same time he was doing this,
00:38:36.900
he was killing people. So just when you get to this point of the story where you're like, how could
00:38:41.580
he, how could he let you give up your amazing career and pull your daughter who was already
00:38:46.540
having a tough time in the loss of her dad from a school she knew and a life she knew and a friendship
00:38:51.420
network she had. He was killing people. He was recklessly killing person after person,
00:38:57.940
lying about successes that had never been there. And I'm going to get to that next, but before we
00:39:03.720
leave this lane, so that was May 13th, 2014, um, that 2015 now, 2015, 2015, sorry, 2015. And the next
00:39:15.040
day, May 14th was the day it all started to come down because you got an email from a friend. Tell us.
00:39:24.520
Yeah. And before I tell that, just to back up very quickly, I think we had been arguing for a good four
00:39:31.620
months at that point. And one of the things we had been arguing about was I had never been to the
00:39:37.360
house in Barcelona. He had flown me and my daughter all over the world, all these beautiful trips, but
00:39:42.760
every single time we were supposed to go to Barcelona, the trip got canceled at the last
00:39:47.240
minute because he had an emergency surgery. This happened three, four times. I think one time I was
00:39:52.160
actually at the airport when the trip got canceled and it was a huge source of contention. I said,
00:39:57.600
you know, I'm not marrying you without seeing the house where I'm supposed to be living after
00:40:01.480
the wedding, without my daughter seeing the house where she's supposed to be living. I mean,
00:40:05.060
who, who would do that? Who would marry a man without seeing the place where they're going to
00:40:08.220
live? So we had been arguing a lot about that. And there were other little things that were starting
00:40:14.180
to nag at me, but not huge red flags. You know, it wasn't like somebody was waving a giant flag on a
00:40:21.080
football field saying alert, alert on man. But I think there were at that point, little things that
00:40:26.600
were nagging at my gut that I was pushing down because I think I didn't want to face the fact
00:40:31.940
that I was starting to realize that something was wrong. And then the day after I left NBC,
00:40:38.060
I had a group of girlfriends that took me to a spa because they knew what a difficult decision it was
00:40:42.980
for me to leave NBC. And I come out of the spa, we'd been in there laughing for hours. We had put our
00:40:48.680
phones away and I pull out my phone. I'm at the desk paying and it's an email from a colleague. And the
00:40:54.460
subject line just says the Pope. And it's a link to an article that says the Pope is going to be in
00:41:00.380
South America on the date of our wedding, which was July 11th, 2015. And that the trip had been
00:41:06.260
planned for a very long time. The second, I mean, the second I read that article, you know, all those
00:41:12.900
little red flags that had been sort of bubbling up that I guess I had been ignoring all exploded.
00:41:18.340
And I just felt sick. And I, in that second, I knew, I just thought, you know, this fucker is
00:41:26.640
lying to me about everything. This man is lying to me about everything. Everything's a lie. I knew it.
00:41:30.600
I didn't have all the evidence. I didn't know by any stretch yet the extent of it, but yeah,
00:41:36.480
it was just a moment of, I mean, I almost fell over in the spa. I just felt ill.
00:41:41.300
Wow. Wow. Were your girlfriends there? Do they remember the moment? Did you share it immediately
00:41:47.520
or were you embarrassed? No, they immediately, they just said, you know, Benita, what happened?
00:41:53.020
What's the matter? You know, and I could barely talk. And a couple of them came back to my apartment
00:41:58.680
with me. It was still early in the morning and I was just pacing back and forth and trying to figure
00:42:03.020
it out. And they were so sweet because they kept trying to say, well, maybe it's not as bad as you
00:42:07.200
think it is. And maybe there's an explanation and maybe there'll still be a wedding. And, you know,
00:42:11.720
you never really wanted the Pope to marry you in the first place, which is true.
00:42:15.820
But I kind of knew, and I called him, of course, immediately. I called him, texted him. And
00:42:21.520
of course he denied everything. You know, he immediately said, I don't know, you know,
00:42:25.660
I just found this out myself and I'm going to get to the bottom of it. And it's a misunderstanding,
00:42:29.720
you know, blah, blah. But I knew from that moment, I knew that he was lying to me.
00:42:33.460
You did. That was it. The before and after moment.
00:42:38.160
It's almost like, again, I think it was those little red flags. It's sort of been bubbling
00:42:43.620
under the surface and I had been uncomfortable for a while, but couldn't quite figure out what
00:42:48.600
it was. I mostly attributed it to leaving NBC and to my daughter, but I think it was much deeper than
00:42:55.860
that. I think at some level I knew, you know, long before I actually knew.
00:43:00.000
So at this point, you've already sent out the invitations for the wedding and you've said,
00:43:03.980
it's going to be at the Pope's. Like we're going to, like you've, we are eight weeks out.
00:43:09.060
We are eight weeks out from the wedding to the day almost. Cause it was, yeah, May 14th,
00:43:13.300
July 15th. People had bought plane tickets. We had almost 300 people coming from all over the world.
00:43:20.240
My family's from Australia. We had people coming from Australia, from Europe, all over the place.
00:43:24.560
They had spent thousands of dollars on fancy red carpet attire and booked hotels and, and
00:43:32.280
everything, you know, this thing was, he had taken it that far, you know, this, this, it's ridiculous.
00:43:39.380
Don't you wonder, I'm sure you wonder. So it just happened that a friend, uh, you know,
00:43:44.120
who's paying attention to news events, like, uh, like the Pope's schedule saw this and realized it
00:43:50.260
was BS, but what do you think he had? Yeah. Well, what do you've done? What do you've seen
00:43:56.880
it through and just come up with an excuse at the last minute for why it's not the Pope and we're
00:44:01.320
not at the Pope's private residence and done it like a fake marriage. You know, the only thing I
00:44:06.460
can think of is because I've asked myself this question so many times, it's one of the big money
00:44:10.720
questions. You know, what, what was his end game? You know, this had to implode. He was literally lying
00:44:15.780
about everything. He created an entire fake fantasy wedding. It turned out he had told me he
00:44:21.600
was divorced. He wasn't even divorced. So he couldn't have legally married me in the first
00:44:25.360
place. So this never could have happened if he had allowed everybody, you know, I mean, 300 people
00:44:31.940
descend in Italy, in Italy thinking they're going to this, you know, lavish wedding. The only thing I
00:44:37.320
can think of is that he would have said there's some kind of security threat, right? You know,
00:44:41.840
there's been a death threat on the Pope's life or one of the dignitaries or celebrities that
00:44:46.300
were supposed to be coming. We can't, it's too dangerous. It's too controversial. We can't have
00:44:50.220
this wedding. But even if he had done that, what was he going to do with me? What was he going to do
00:44:55.760
with my daughter? You know, I'm there with my bags packed in my wedding dress and I think I'm moving
00:44:59.600
to Barcelona. I have no idea how the hell he thought he was getting out of this. It's like, part of me
00:45:05.440
wishes it had played out like that just so we could see, just so we could know. Yeah, because
00:45:11.520
it's true. It's true. You know, there was, there was never a wedding scheduled. The Pope had nothing
00:45:16.280
to do with it and he couldn't marry you because he was already married, which again, in retrospect,
00:45:22.140
now the proposal, sending out invitations, the recklessness of it, Benita. Oh yeah, I know.
00:45:30.200
Recklessness. Wow. And of course it would get much worse. I mean, I, and ultimately I'd find out
00:45:35.120
he was juggling four families at the same time. Wait, what? I didn't see that. I did not see that in the
00:45:40.920
earlier pieces. I know about the one wife because eventually you and your girlfriends and I love
00:45:45.820
your girlfriends. They're the best friends. That's a wonderful story, but they take you like
00:45:52.360
the best girlfriends would to Barcelona on what would have been your wedding day. And you've got
00:45:56.980
a fake wig on and the girls go up to his front door, ring the doorbell and he comes down and it
00:46:03.880
turns out, Oh, we have this actually, we have this clip. Let's, let's play it so we can watch a bit of it.
00:46:08.760
Okay. Nancy and Lee just knocked on his door and I saw him come down the steps with his
00:46:14.960
dog. Asshole. He's there. Not in fucking Russia.
00:46:41.560
Yeah, so that was the day you learned not only does he have a wife already, but two young
00:46:56.560
kids, which is what stopped you, I think, from going to the door yourself.
00:47:00.560
When I met him, he told me that he had been separated from his Italian wife for a very
00:47:08.860
long time. So I knew from the beginning, there's a lot of misunderstanding about this,
00:47:11.860
that he had a wife. He had two children who at the time were, I think, 19 and 20, who were
00:47:16.940
actually supposed to be coming to the wedding. And he said that they had been living separate
00:47:20.940
lives for many years, which was well documented. He lived in Barcelona, had been for years. She
00:47:25.640
lived in Italy. And I mean, I met the man's mother, I spoke to his sister, his sister's,
00:47:32.640
his niece was supposed to be one of our flower girls. So this was no secret. He just told
00:47:37.860
me that they had never gotten divorced because it's Italy and they're Catholic and it's complicated.
00:47:41.740
But he told me when he met me, that now he finally wanted to get divorced. And that was
00:47:46.580
why he proposed, because he said he had filed for divorce and that the divorce was going through.
00:47:50.840
So I knew there was that wife. I knew about her. I'd seen pictures of her, everything.
00:47:55.980
The woman in Barcelona, when I went to the house in Barcelona, I went there because once I figured
00:48:01.620
out he was lying, I went into hyper investigative mode. It's kind of like I woke up out of my love
00:48:07.560
haze, you know, and, you know, woke up and put my journalist hat back on. And I just went nuts. I mean,
00:48:13.080
I was investigating, I hired two private investigators, one here in the US, one in Italy. And I mean,
00:48:20.020
my bedroom looked like something out of a Law & Order episode. There were binders everywhere. I was
00:48:24.520
trying to figure everything out. And for me, the last piece of the puzzle was Barcelona. I mean,
00:48:29.480
clearly there was a good reason he had never let me go to that house. And so that's why we decided to
00:48:34.400
go there. And it was part sort of a fuck you girl, you know, fun girls trip. And which is why I got this
00:48:43.500
hideous blonde wig, which I didn't really know if I would need, but I didn't, wasn't sure what I was
00:48:47.540
going to find in that house. So I ordered this cheap blonde wig on Amazon and we went to the
00:48:53.860
house. And one funny thing about that is when I put in the address for the house, he had given me an
00:48:59.860
address for the house in Barcelona so people could send wedding gifts. It was a bogus address. So I
00:49:05.260
had to find the right address. He didn't even, he didn't even give me the right address for the house.
00:49:08.800
So he had no idea I was coming and I wanted it to be a surprise attack, so to speak, you know,
00:49:14.800
that he, and he, he claimed he was in Russia, which is why you hear me saying that in the video.
00:49:19.380
And at the time I'm still talking to him. Right. So I, when I first discovered that he was lying,
00:49:24.420
I made an almost immediate decision that, okay, this man is never going to tell me the truth about
00:49:31.100
everything. I realize now that he's a pathological liar and I wanted hard, indisputable, irrefutable
00:49:39.000
evidence before I confronted him. Because one of the things that goes along with this, of course,
00:49:43.920
is gaslighting. These con artists, including Paolo are very good. If you question them
00:49:49.380
about muddying the waters and making you think that you're the one who's crazy for asking them
00:49:54.180
questions. They're so good at it. It's rapid fire. They have an answer for everything. And so
00:49:58.620
I decided I'm not confronting him until I have all my ducks in a row. And I know every single lie
00:50:05.400
I've uncovered everything. And so I had to play kind of a game with him. I, I called off the wedding
00:50:10.680
and luckily for me, he was being investigated at the time for scientific misconduct. Uh, it was
00:50:17.580
sort of the beginning of the revelations about his medical lies. And it was very convenient timing
00:50:22.780
because his, he was having a very difficult time in Sweden. And I just said, look, you know, there's
00:50:27.140
too much going on right now. Let's just call off the wedding and postpone it. And he must have breathed
00:50:31.420
such a sigh of relief when I did that. I got him off the hook, but it was also the perfect
00:50:35.800
excuse to cancel the wedding. And that's all I told all our wedding guests as well.
00:50:40.460
And so I'm still talking to him, you know, he's, I'm still talking to him, still saying,
00:50:44.440
I love you, which killed me and playing along as if we were going to reconvene the wedding at some
00:50:51.320
point. So he had no idea I was coming to that house and a, he wasn't in Russia. So that was the
00:50:57.960
first thing that pissed me off. He had just texted me, texted me that morning.
00:51:00.880
So when you, when we see that video of you and your friends in Barcelona,
00:51:03.660
he was still under the delusion that you were fooled and you guys were still together.
00:51:07.920
Correct. Correct. Okay. All right. Okay. Keep going.
00:51:11.340
I mean, he had some idea I had been grilling him. I had been telling him for a long time that
00:51:15.340
I thought he was lying, but I still, he, I think he still thought he had me under his thumb and he
00:51:19.540
was going to bring me back around and that the wedding was just being postponed. He had no idea
00:51:23.960
that I was onto him or that I knew that he was not really divorced, any of that, or that I knew
00:51:31.060
everything about the wedding was fake. And I kind of expected to find another woman in that house.
00:51:39.200
I wasn't sure if it would be the Italian wife or somebody else. I was prepared for that.
00:51:43.540
And my girlfriends and I had, we had been through several different scenarios, you know,
00:51:47.320
what if he's there? What if someone else is there, blah, blah. And the reason I sent them to the door
00:51:51.960
without me was I wanted them to sort of do the initial reconnaissance and see what was going on
00:51:57.400
before I came down. And if he was there, I had planned, I fully intended to confront him.
00:52:04.780
But what happened happens is he comes to the door. So first of all, he's there.
00:52:09.800
And then I see, even from, I'm sitting in the car at the top of the hill, he can't see me.
00:52:14.160
And I see a woman and two young children come out on the veranda of the house. And even from where I
00:52:20.660
am, I can hear them calling him dad. And this is a young woman. This is not his Italian wife. I know
00:52:25.840
exactly what his Italian wife looks like. So this is when I completely lose it and fall apart because
00:52:31.200
this is another family. This is a third family, you know, it's the Italian wife. He never divorced.
00:52:36.280
It's me and my daughter in New York. And now here in Barcelona, the real reason he never let us come
00:52:41.060
to Barcelona is because he's hiding another family here. And it was the children that sent me over
00:52:47.560
the edge. I mean, I, another woman, okay. At that point I was prepared for that, but the kids and
00:52:52.960
little kids, they were about five and seven years old. I was wholly unprepared for that. And
00:52:58.500
that's when I lost it. I mean, you see in the video, I just, I think I had been investigating for
00:53:05.020
a couple of months at that point. And I had not dealt with any of the heartache, the devastation,
00:53:10.740
and I just fall apart. I just, I'm screaming, I'm kicking, I'm wailing, I'm calling him every name
00:53:16.600
under the sun. It was just devastating. It was just, I, you know, he just took it so far. It just
00:53:25.140
was sort of incomprehensible to me that you had been sitting here, that you let me think I'm moving
00:53:30.560
here with my daughter and you planned this whole fake wedding. You let me quit my job. So much was
00:53:36.460
at stake. You let me pull my daughter out of her school. You let me give up my entire life. And
00:53:42.200
the whole time you're hiding another family here. And the whole time, you know, none of this is ever
00:53:47.240
going to happen. Gosh, it's just so devastating. It's crazy. It's crazy. I spoke with a friend
00:53:55.320
once whose husband had betrayed her and she did what almost every woman does, which is start to
00:54:03.860
obsess over his phone records and anything she could get her hands on. Right. Just to know she knew,
00:54:09.740
she knew it, you know, it was, she knew, but she needed the details. She needed the specifics and
00:54:16.100
she needed to know, you know, when and how long and how many times. And I said to her, you know,
00:54:21.840
it's, it's almost like in the Catholic faith, when somebody dies, they have the wake and you go to the
00:54:30.320
wake. And even though many Catholics and non-Catholics especially find it kind of very jarring,
00:54:36.260
what a jarring tradition to go and see the dead body. If it's an open casket, you know, what kind
00:54:41.160
of a tradition is this? What is, why would you do this to yourself? And I get that reaction very much,
00:54:46.860
but there is something, I don't know if the word's cathartic, if there's something necessary
00:54:53.220
for many people in seeing the dead body. It's like the beginning of coming to terms with what's really
00:55:01.540
happened and how your life has changed from what you thought it was a day earlier, a couple of days
00:55:06.040
earlier. And I almost see the behavior you're describing on your part as part of that process
00:55:10.460
for you. Like it's got, you've got to make it real for yourself. So acceptance can come a hundred
00:55:16.560
percent. And I think that's why the house in Barcelona was the last piece of the puzzle for me.
00:55:21.240
I mean, at that point, I already knew that he wasn't divorced. I already knew that, you know,
00:55:26.620
he had created this whole fake fantasy wedding. I mean, everything about it, you know, every place
00:55:32.660
he said was booked the caterer, the, this, the, that none of them had ever heard of us. Um, I knew
00:55:37.900
that he didn't know a damn one of these dignitaries or celebrities he claimed was coming to the wedding
00:55:42.600
or he claimed he was, you know, the personal, personal doctor too. He sure as hell was not the
00:55:47.540
Pope's personal private doctor. I mean, the Vatican practically laughed at me. Um, but for me,
00:55:53.560
the, the last piece of the puzzle was Barcelona. And that was the thing that just sort of, and that's
00:55:59.160
when I can finally confronted him. Hmm. Wait, can, before we get to conversation, who is the fourth
00:56:04.900
family? You see her actually in the Netflix special. So after, um, the older, after, um,
00:56:13.780
she's, she's younger. She, Anna Paula, she comes in the third episode. So after I went public,
00:56:19.560
which I, I do shortly after this, she contacted me and it turns out that she, and her story is just
00:56:26.300
horrific because her son died. Um, he was a patient of Paulo's. He did not have a plastic trachea,
00:56:32.860
but he did operate on him. Her son dies in Italy. There's an investigation into manslaughter. So
00:56:39.180
Paulo's facing manslaughter charges in Italy. So what does he do? He seduces her and basically so that
00:56:45.780
she will drop the charges, which she does. And then he gets her pregnant and she has a child
00:56:51.020
that's born with him basically right around the time that he's proposing to me. So that's four
00:56:56.600
families that I know about, you know, it's, it's the Italian wife. He never divorced. It's me and my
00:57:01.320
daughter in New York. It's the woman and the two kids in the house in Barcelona. And then this other
00:57:05.980
poor woman in Italy that he has a child with. Oh my God. It's like, in a way you got away.
00:57:12.940
Oh yeah. You know, which is interesting because he really wanted to have a child. He was desperate
00:57:19.480
to have a child and that would be such a nightmare. I'm just so glad that never happened.
00:57:24.740
I know. So can we talk about the confrontation? Because I know that after, hold on, I pulled the
00:57:30.500
email because I know that, um, after you canceled the wedding, you emailed him and, and it reads as
00:57:37.700
follows. I believed you were exactly who you presented yourself to be to me, to my friends
00:57:43.720
and family, to the world. Congratulations. You charm me and all of us into la la land.
00:57:50.000
I will never ever understand how you could have done this to me or to your daughter. Uh, who the hell
00:57:56.060
are you and what the hell is wrong with you? But this is not the confrontation to which you refer.
00:58:02.300
No, it is. So that was the first part of the confrontation. This was by text. Actually,
00:58:07.420
when we left the house in Barcelona, we went to a place that had wifi. Keep in mind, he had no idea
00:58:13.620
that I was there. He knew my friends were there. He couldn't get rid of them fast enough. Um,
00:58:18.620
and they told him, Hey, look, you know, we, the wedding got canceled so close to the wedding day.
00:58:23.940
We, as a lot of people did, we decided to come to Italy anyway on vacation. And we just dropped by to
00:58:29.300
bring you a wedding gift. That was their excuse for knocking at the doorbell,
00:58:32.640
which the whole thing was so suspicious, right? Because ostensibly he and I are still getting
00:58:37.400
married and we're still talking and he didn't invite them in. He could not get rid of them
00:58:42.480
fast enough. He just wanted them to leave. But anyway, we get to this restaurant and I write
00:58:47.020
him a text that's literally about this long. I mean, what you read is just one part of it and
00:58:51.560
called him every name under the sun, named everything that I knew he was lying about. And,
00:58:57.820
you know, just called him a despicable, disgusting human being, told him I hated him and et cetera,
00:59:04.700
et cetera. And I think it took him about 10, 15 minutes to reply. And he wrote back one word.
00:59:12.000
Wow. That's all I said. Wow. Unsatisfactory. Well, I think he was caught, right? What was,
00:59:21.040
what was there to say? Game over. There's nothing to say. He's caught. I want more.
00:59:24.260
I want me to see his face and see him, I don't know, beg for forgiveness or I want to see him
00:59:32.700
ashamed. I know that the man has no shame or empathy or remorse or any of the other things,
00:59:39.000
but yeah. We're never going to see that. Was there ever any more contact?
00:59:42.820
Um, yes. And 20. So what happens right after this is I'm devastated, of course. Um, but almost
00:59:52.680
immediately I had whatever you want to call it, an epiphany or whatever you want to call it. But I
00:59:58.500
thought, Oh my God, you know, if he's lying to me like this and creating fake relationships with the
01:00:05.320
Pope and with, you know, celebrities and dignitaries and presidents and creating a whole fake fantasy
01:00:12.020
wedding and allowing people to book tickets and spend money and allowing me to quit my job and
01:00:18.120
quit their jobs and their schools. Yeah. All of it. If he's doing all of that and we'll go that far,
01:00:23.820
there's no way, there's no way in hell. He's not also lying in his medical and professional life.
01:00:28.540
It can't be. And that thought was so horrifying to me because I, you know, he has people's lives
01:00:34.160
in his hands. You know, he's doing something revolutionary and groundbreaking and people
01:00:40.080
think the man walks on water. And I thought, shit, you know, I have to tell my story. I have to go
01:00:46.460
public. I have to expose him. I almost felt an obligation to do it. I thought, you know, maybe this
01:00:53.240
happened to me because I know how to do this. You know, if, if, if I need to go public, if I need to
01:00:58.020
tell my story, it's not going to be pretty, it's not going to be fun, but I know what to do. And
01:01:03.660
I need to do this. The world needs to know who Dr. Paolo Macchiarini is. And it wasn't vindictive.
01:01:11.280
It wasn't about revenge. It was simply about sounding the warning alarm that, you know,
01:01:16.920
this man is a fraud. This man is a con. He's not who you think he is. And so I very, very quickly
01:01:24.320
connected through a friend with a reporter at Vanity Fair who told me that he could do it,
01:01:30.100
he could do it quickly, which is what I wanted. And so this is July of 2014. And the article came out
01:01:35.960
in January of 2016, my story. And I did not know this when I went public and when I decided to do
01:01:44.700
the story, but within a week of me, my story coming out in Vanity Fair, a scathing documentary
01:01:51.100
came out in Sweden called The Experiments, which exposed all his medical lies. And it was
01:01:57.140
actually worse than I feared. I mean, watching that documentary was one of the most difficult
01:02:03.200
things I've ever had to do because it was so obvious that he blatantly used people as human
01:02:10.040
guinea pigs that he knew, I believe from the beginning that this thing he was transplanting
01:02:16.120
into them would never work. It was, it was a plastic tube that might as well have been a straw.
01:02:21.000
He knew damn well, it wasn't going to work. And he did it anyway. He, and it just, it's just so
01:02:27.320
obvious how reckless this man is and how dangerous he is. And it was the combination of the two things
01:02:33.420
that sort of blew everything up because now you have these insane, you know, over the top,
01:02:39.260
egregious lies in his personal life, coupled with this evidence that he's been lying in the medical
01:02:45.700
arena. And the two things were what finally blew everything up.
01:02:50.460
The, that lane of the story well covered in all the pieces I mentioned,
01:02:54.520
as disturbing as your piece that is, is the most.
01:02:57.800
Oh, it's horrific. It's way worse than what happened to me. I mean, there's just,
01:03:02.880
But it's a similar pattern. It's a similar pattern if you look at it, right? In well-meaning,
01:03:07.280
earnest, kind people in some turmoil, trusting him, trusting him. Yeah. Trusting him to do right by
01:03:18.460
them, to take care of them, to see them through, you know, the most difficult times of their life,
01:03:24.660
wooed by his bedside manner, which we discussed and his credentials and all of these institutions
01:03:29.880
around him, vouching for him. Exactly. Only in their cases, it was a deadly mistake. And amazingly,
01:03:37.800
there are still some families still believing in him, even after their loved ones died in his care.
01:03:46.640
And I can only think they have to do that just as a self-protection mechanism. Like they just have to
01:03:52.560
say, we didn't put our loved one in the hands of a madman. You know, we did something smart and we took
01:03:59.460
a calculated risk. And I just, when I, as I see the people in like the Netflix documentary wrestling
01:04:04.420
with it, well, no, it's okay. You know, we're still grateful to him. All I can think is that's,
01:04:09.040
that's something other than acceptance. That's, I believe that too. I think
01:04:14.400
Paolo was very good at convincing the families when patients died, that the patients were pioneers,
01:04:21.160
you know, and they would sort of live in history as pioneers who helped him help pave the way for a
01:04:28.700
better, better medical future. And that's a much nicer thing to think than you put your loved one in
01:04:34.860
the hands of a madman who is reckless and dangerous and a murderer, quite frankly, probably a serial
01:04:42.380
killer. And I think for some of these patients, families, you know, who had been so desperate and
01:04:52.000
especially Hannah's family, you know, they, they thought Paolo was the answer to their prayers.
01:04:59.160
They thought he was their last hope. They believed in him. They, they put so much into that and they
01:05:04.300
sought him out. And I think that's the other thing. A lot of these people found Dr. MacIarini on the
01:05:09.140
internet, you know, they did a Google search and that's how they found him. So, you know, the, to deal
01:05:14.880
with the death of your loved one, especially a child. And then on top of that, you sought out the
01:05:20.360
person, you know, that probably killed her. I don't, I think that's just too much to wrap your head
01:05:25.360
around. Yep. It would be for me. There's Chris Liles, whose story is heartbreaking, a 30 year old
01:05:33.260
man, electrical engineer from Maryland. And he was diagnosed with cancer, but heard of Paolo MacIarini.
01:05:43.060
And he did the procedure on Chris and Chris, like all the others who kept that fake trachea
01:05:52.960
in died. Here's a bit on him from the piece. Saw three.
01:06:00.060
We didn't see Paolo that much. He was flying this place. He was flying that place. He had, um, one of his
01:06:08.800
assistants look after Chris. If you're okay, Chris. Yeah. Don't try to hold it.
01:06:16.800
Very soon after surgery, Chris Liles gained an infection in the airway. So he started to cough
01:06:22.160
enormously hard. This, you know, really, really deep cough. He got mucus clots in the airways.
01:06:30.540
They did. What also happened was he got an infection in this wound. So he had a quite
01:06:39.300
dramatic post-operative, early post-operative period. But it was a little bit unusual that
01:06:44.340
you get the infection. So early on after surgery.
01:06:51.640
And the family died. And the family continues to stand by Paolo.
01:06:56.120
No, actually, no, not anymore. They did initially. Yeah, they did. They, they finally came around
01:07:02.560
and realized, you know, initially they still stood by him, but now, no, now they know.
01:07:10.040
They were in the Netflix piece sounding like, well, you know, Chris, he was terminal. And so
01:07:15.420
it was a risk we decided to take. But that's interesting. Was it after they saw the compilation
01:07:19.780
of stories, you know, that they realized how Chris fit into the story? Or what, what do you think
01:07:28.100
You know, I think it just takes time. And I think it's the same for any of the people that
01:07:33.780
Dr. Macchiarini fooled. I mean, we're talking some of the, the world's most prestigious, esteemed
01:07:40.200
institutions, doctors, scientists. I mean, he pulled the wool over so many people's eyes. It's not just
01:07:46.080
me and the other women in his life. It's not just the patients and their families. I mean,
01:07:51.380
so many people. And I think it's a very, very difficult thing, A, to admit that you got fooled,
01:07:58.280
but B, to wrap your head around the fact that this man who you thought was either the answer to your,
01:08:07.020
your, your patient, you know, your loved one dying, or was, you know, in the case of Carolyn's
01:08:13.300
Get Sweeting, bringing you all kinds of accolades and money and esteem. It's just very difficult to
01:08:19.060
wrap your head around the fact that Dr. Paolo Macchiarini is not who you thought he was and that
01:08:24.580
he's exactly the opposite of who you thought he was. And I, I think it just takes time.
01:08:30.600
And that you may have entrusted your loved one to a madman, to somebody with empathy,
01:08:34.760
who may be a sociopath. The, um, the case out of Russia, also disturbing. We've mentioned his
01:08:42.740
contacts there on this young ballerina, ballerina, uh, whose name was Yulia. Yeah. He performed her
01:08:50.200
surgery in 2012. And there's a bit of Paolo talking about her in the piece, young, beautiful. She was
01:08:56.460
not, she was not terminal. Um, no, she did not need the surgery. And she begged him actually,
01:09:02.500
they actually had a lottery in Russia because he was looking for quote unquote, healthy patients to
01:09:07.380
try this procedure on. She had been in a car accident. So she had a hole in her throat. She
01:09:11.940
had a tracheotomy, but she could have lived the rest of her life like that. And she begged,
01:09:15.860
she made a video begging Paolo to pick her and he picked her tragically. Here's a, here's a bit of
01:09:21.860
Paolo talking about her from the Netflix show, Badge Surgeon.
01:09:29.580
This is Yulia. When I met Yulia, she was not able to play with her child. It was a very emotional,
01:09:39.400
uh, moment for me. And I immediately said, this is the right patient. And I still do not believe that
01:09:47.080
a few days ago, she couldn't breathe and talk normally. So, um, she's a little bit, uh, afraid
01:09:58.480
You know, her case when I eat it out and around like us, like she was one of his success stories.
01:10:17.840
And as they point out in the piece, it was a lie. And indeed she died.
01:10:23.020
Yeah. And not only died, but they died horrible deaths. I mean, this plastic tube that was coated
01:10:29.140
in the patient's own stem cells was literally rotting inside their throats. So Yulia's mother
01:10:34.840
talks about the fact that she smelled horrifically because this thing was rotting. She smelled like
01:10:39.600
rotting fish because this thing was rotting inside her throat. And then they suffocated to death
01:10:44.380
because this thing disintegrated and rotted in their throats. It's not only did they die,
01:10:49.380
but it's, it's like a torturous death. It's, it's awful. And he kept doing it. He kept doing
01:10:57.360
exactly. Can you speak about the Institute doing good. Is it Carolina? What's it called in Sweden?
01:11:04.720
Karolinska. Karolinska. Okay. That was principally backing him for a while. He also had the Russian
01:11:10.080
Institute as well, but it seems like those doctors there were like, there are a couple of them who
01:11:16.640
are featured who turned out to be good guys who recognize what he was doing was very wrong
01:11:21.380
and started to blow the whistle on him. Yeah. I think, um, and what they did was very brave.
01:11:28.880
And as is typical with many whistleblowers, unfortunately they went through hell, you know,
01:11:33.440
it took them a long time to pull together all the evidence against him and they put their own careers
01:11:39.360
on the line. They were questioned. I mean, some of them were called into the police station. Some of them
01:11:43.960
were threatened with losing their jobs. Some of them have left Karolinska now and they went through
01:11:49.240
hell, but they started realizing slowly that this thing was not working, that the patients were
01:11:55.620
suffering and dying and that Paolo was lying in medical papers and very, very prestigious ones,
01:12:03.100
the new England journal of medicine among them about the results of the transplant. So he's standing
01:12:07.580
at press conference talk, press conferences, talking about how the patients are doing so beautifully
01:12:11.760
well. When in fact, behind the scenes, they're suffering and they're dying exactly the opposite
01:12:17.880
of what he was saying. And also he's publishing in these prestigious medical journals saying that,
01:12:23.060
you know, this thing is working beautifully and he's leaving data out. He's faking data. He's lying
01:12:27.840
about stuff. So they start piecing it all together and they spent some insane number of hours piecing all
01:12:33.860
the parts of the puzzle together. And at first, when they first went to Karolinska,
01:12:37.800
they were shunned. They were shooed away. Karolinska didn't want to hear it. And I think
01:12:42.720
it just speaks to what happens with somebody who's so cunning and so charming and so manipulative like
01:12:50.140
Dr. Paolo Macchiarini. It was, he was bringing in so much money to Karolinska and there was so much
01:12:58.080
promise and hope attached to this man. They were talking about building a whole institution around
01:13:02.860
him. He's getting grants. He's getting published in these prestigious journals. He's operating all
01:13:08.040
around the world. He's bringing them notoriety. So when somebody first comes to them and says,
01:13:13.620
you know what? This guy's not who you think he is. It was a very, very inconvenient truth.
01:13:19.560
Nobody wanted to hear it. And it's a massive crisis. You go from having a golden boy who's going to make
01:13:25.140
you a fortune and bring you nothing but accolades to having a potential criminal serial killer working
01:13:32.200
for you. Who's only going to bring you shame and condemnation. Exactly. Which is why I think
01:13:40.460
initially people tried to sweep it under the rug because it just, nobody wanted to deal with it.
01:13:45.760
But there were a couple of doctors there who just didn't allow that.
01:13:49.000
Oh, they were tenacious. Yeah. They were tenacious. Those, those whistleblowers refused to give up.
01:13:54.660
And I've now met them and I, they're, they're lovely guys. And we, um, I really admire what they did and
01:14:01.760
what they went through. Um, but they just refuse to give up. They, and they still do, you know,
01:14:07.600
like me, they still keep talking about him and none of us will stop until there's full justice,
01:14:12.760
which we still don't have. Well, that's the question because I think most people hearing the
01:14:18.220
story at this point are asking, please tell me he's in jail. Is he in jail? There have been some
01:14:24.340
criminal charges, but they haven't gone nothing nearly to the level of what we would want or what
01:14:31.500
we think he deserves. Can you talk about what's happened to him in the criminal lane?
01:14:35.660
Yes. He finally was in Sweden. They had tried going after him a few years ago and it is a difficult
01:14:42.940
case to prove because they're experimental procedures. So to prove that he knew that the
01:14:48.540
patients were going to die to prove that he did this intentionally is, is not so easy. So the first
01:14:52.800
time they tried to do it, they gave up, they sort of dropped the charges. Sweden was furious. This is,
01:14:58.660
this whole thing is a giant scandal in Sweden. And it's so embarrassing. I mean, people got fired,
01:15:04.220
people on the Nobel prize committee stepped down in shame. And so luckily another prosecutor came back
01:15:09.160
and said, no, I'm going to try again. And so he was on trial in 2022 and he got convicted of one count
01:15:17.260
of bodily harm. They could only go after him in Sweden for the three patients that were operated on
01:15:23.480
in Sweden, including Christopher Lyles, the U S patient. And then he appealed that. And so last year
01:15:30.800
there was an appeals trial and I think he was thinking he was going to get off. Well, instead the appeals
01:15:37.220
court came back hard and convicted him of three counts of aggravated assault on for all of the
01:15:43.760
patients that were operated on Sweden and sentenced him to 30 months behind bars. Of course he appeals
01:15:49.840
again, all the way to the Swedish Supreme court. But in October, the Supreme court came back and said,
01:15:55.120
no, we're not taking the case. The conviction stands. That was October. Here we are six months
01:16:02.040
later. The man's still not behind bars. It's crazy. He managed, this just came out last week to
01:16:08.720
negotiate with Swedish authorities that he wants to spend his time behind bars in Spain where he lives,
01:16:15.480
not in Sweden on house arrest. So he basically wants to sit at his damn house by the pool,
01:16:22.380
sipping cocktails. And that's how he thinks he's going to serve his 30 months, which is
01:16:26.160
just, I don't even know what word to use. It's so horrific and so unfair to those patients.
01:16:32.840
You know, it's just, that is not justice. So what are the likely, what are the odds that that's going
01:16:38.640
to happen? Pretty high. I think, I think now the Spanish, the Spanish authorities have to,
01:16:44.840
Sweden has basically washed their hands of him and said, no, serve your time in Spain. Spain has to agree
01:16:49.920
to it. So that's a more delay without him being behind bars. And if they agree to it,
01:16:55.660
I, you know, I think he will, I think he'll have an ankle bracelet and be sitting by his,
01:16:59.420
by his pool. The most important thing is that he's not allowed to do this to anybody else.
01:17:05.120
Has he lost his medical license? And even if he hasn't have, don't you, don't you think that the
01:17:10.320
Netflix show that your documentary, all the work you've been doing along with these doctors from
01:17:15.200
Karolinska have made his reemergence as a physician impossible? Yes. It's a, it's, I get
01:17:22.420
asked this all the time. It's a tricky question because there isn't one medical license to yank.
01:17:26.700
It's not like the U S in Europe. It's country by country. So if a country still allows him to operate
01:17:34.020
in, in Europe, he could in theory. But as you said, his reputation is clearly severely tarnished and,
01:17:42.180
you know, tanked and his, he's had a drastic, you know, crash from, from fame and notoriety.
01:17:49.420
So I doubt anybody would want him operating on them, but technically he still can.
01:17:56.800
He's making a documentary with his side. I can't wait. I'm actually really looking forward to that.
01:18:05.240
I hope you'll come back on after that hits. What on earth do you think that is going to look like?
01:18:12.180
He, because he's not behind bars, he has been doing interviews in Italy in the past months and
01:18:18.100
he did one, I think it was right before Christmas and I was on the show and his, he was not on,
01:18:22.980
but his attorney was not on and he's desperate. And the only thing that he can do at the moment is try
01:18:30.980
to muddy the waters and try to distract attention from his patients. And so he's going after me and
01:18:35.840
Anna Paula, the woman who also went public in the Netflix documentary, and he's just trying to victim
01:18:42.000
shame us, slut shame us, whatever he can, you know, he's just trying to throw dirt, you know,
01:18:46.900
and make up lies about us and, and muddy the waters and distract attention from the real issue,
01:18:53.640
which is that he killed people. And none of the things he's saying are true, but even if they were,
01:19:00.240
it wouldn't matter. You know, that's, it doesn't matter. You know, what matters is you use people
01:19:06.120
as human Guinea pigs. You broke all kinds of legal and ethical laws and recklessly destroyed people's
01:19:17.560
lives and you're killed people and patients lives without caring. So nothing else matters. So he's,
01:19:23.900
have there been massive civil suits against him? Somebody should own his bar, his Barcelona home other
01:19:28.320
than Paula. I know the Turkish family, um, that Turkish girl that you see on the Netflix documentary,
01:19:34.640
the one that had something like 200 surgeries. I mean, her, her case is so horrific. They've sued
01:19:39.860
him. I don't know the outcome of that yet. We need an American family to sue, but we're,
01:19:45.480
we're very good at suing. As you know, that's our forte here in America. Um, one of the American
01:19:50.880
families needs to sue for wrongful death and then they will own the home in Barcelona and whatever else he
01:19:56.240
has. That's, that's the true way of punishing somebody like him. He said to La Nazione, uh,
01:20:04.020
an Italian publication that wrote, wrote up his plan to do a new documentary. He said,
01:20:09.160
the deaths are glorified, meaning those he caused, but there is no mention of the lives saved. I was
01:20:16.840
crucified in an inhumane way. The history of transplants must be read. The initial phases are
01:20:22.840
always associated with high mortality, but despite this, they continued until they, until they become
01:20:30.980
almost routine operations. As for you, he said, she's the one who always lied. Okay. So we'll, we'll
01:20:40.600
look forward to him filling that out in his quote documentary. Um, I do want to talk to you about a
01:20:47.120
couple of things. The, the thing you lost your, your train of thought on that we were getting to was
01:20:52.040
contact you've had with him since, wow, since that text. So was it after all these pieces hit that you
01:21:00.100
and he? So in, in 2018, I made a film for discovery called he lied about everything. Um, after the
01:21:07.380
vanity fair article, which was just, I was, I was in such a state of post-traumatic stress when it, when
01:21:12.780
that article came out and I felt like it didn't fully encompass the whole story or my story. And
01:21:18.120
I wanted to tell it in my own words, which is why I did the documentary. And during the course of
01:21:23.420
making that documentary, I tried to find him. I traveled actually to Russia, to Italy, to several
01:21:28.920
places. I met with some of the families, um, including Yulia's husband, which was heartbreaking. Um,
01:21:36.000
and I couldn't find him. So finally I got him on the phone and it was such an interesting phone call
01:21:43.320
because I called from a phone that wasn't mine. So he didn't know it was me. And I had to tell him
01:21:48.740
that I was recording him obviously for legal reasons. But as soon as I said, I said, I said,
01:21:54.540
hi, Apollo, it's Benita. And immediately his voice, you know, that soft voice. Oh, hi, how are you?
01:22:02.120
And I thought this asshole, he, he thinks either he thinks I'm calling to reconcile or he thinks he
01:22:07.960
can get me again. He thinks he can, you know, pull me in again. It was just so disgusting. And
01:22:13.860
then I started, I, I, you know, I started finding questions at him. Why did you lie to me? Why did
01:22:18.420
you lie about this? And there was silence and you could, I, it was maybe a minute and you could almost
01:22:24.320
hear the cogs in his brain turning, thinking, okay, I'm being recorded. I think I'm supposed to say,
01:22:29.340
I'm sorry. And so after I shut up, he, he just says, I'm sorry. It was the lamest,
01:22:36.320
most insincere apology you've ever heard in your life. He sounded like a robot, you know,
01:22:40.260
he didn't mean it. And then I asked him some other question and then he hung up on me.
01:22:45.280
No. Yeah, that's it. That's the moment. It's up. It's over. You got me. Yeah. I have no need to
01:22:55.060
sing or dance anymore. Yeah. But of course now, now that he's, I think even then, I think all of
01:23:04.860
this time, he still thought he was going to get away with it. You know, he still thought somehow
01:23:09.440
he was going to crawl his way out of this and restore his reputation. And so I think this
01:23:15.140
prison sentence and the Supreme court refusing to take his case was a, was a hard awakening and
01:23:22.040
that's why he's desperate. And that's why he's doing all this stuff now and calling me a liar or
01:23:26.700
calling Anna a liar or what else can he do? You know, there's nothing else he can do.
01:23:31.040
I'm Megan Kelly, host of the Megan Kelly show on Sirius XM. It's your home for open,
01:23:37.040
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01:23:41.020
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01:24:29.140
So let's talk about what we can figure out in his psychology and really warning signs for other
01:24:41.060
women, because you said at the top, which I wanted to follow up with you on, um, the thing about,
01:24:46.740
I believe he was gathering information to use against me from the start. So interesting. What do
01:24:54.780
you mean? So one of the things, and I think this is true of most of these guys, most of these con
01:25:01.200
artists, I thought Paula was a very good listener at the beginning, right? Who, who doesn't love a
01:25:06.360
good listener, especially when you're in a vulnerable place, but what they're doing, if you go back and
01:25:12.080
look at it very carefully, they give you very little information about themselves. And what they're doing
01:25:16.780
is literally gathering information and stockpiling it to use against you. They study you. They, they
01:25:23.900
try to figure out everything they can about you so that they can use it against you. And they target
01:25:29.400
you when you're vulnerable. And so this is one of the things I tell women all the time. Now,
01:25:33.780
if you are vulnerable for any reason, whatever, there's been a death in your family, you lost a job,
01:25:40.360
you just went through a divorce, a breakup, anything, anything that makes you more vulnerable than usual,
01:25:45.000
you have to be hyper vigilant about protecting yourself because this is when these people
01:25:49.820
target you because it's, and it's, it's so basic, but when you're vulnerable,
01:25:55.140
when you're going through something difficult, what do you want? Do you want somebody to tell
01:25:59.140
you everything's going to be okay? You want somebody to wrap their arms around you and give
01:26:02.340
you a big hug and reassure you. And that's what Paula was doing. He, I'm pouring my heart out about
01:26:09.280
my ex-husband is going to die and I don't know how to do this. And I don't know how to tell my
01:26:13.040
daughter and he's listening to me. He's reassuring me. And at the same time, he's figuring out what my
01:26:20.040
weaknesses are or what my vulnerabilities are. And they turn it around on you. They use it against
01:26:25.980
you. This is a weird reference, but it's almost like a dog in heat. How, you know, the humans walking
01:26:34.640
around the dog have no idea, but every male dog in the neighborhood is at your door. Like
01:26:38.320
sociopaths have that sense when a woman is in trouble. And when she's a hundred percent,
01:26:46.120
they have, I don't know how they develop it. They do. It's a very strong, effective radar.
01:26:50.680
They can find them in a crowded field. They can, they know in like death in the family. It doesn't
01:26:56.320
have to be like your basket case. It can be like, I just had something really sad happen to me and I'm
01:27:01.100
feeling kind of low. They have like a homing beacon. Exactly. I call it the vulnerability radar.
01:27:09.000
Yeah. And so that applies by the way, that applies by the way to anybody I would, I noticed,
01:27:15.640
and I thought about this in hindsight at a party, for instance, you know, there were certain people
01:27:21.060
Paolo wouldn't spend a lot of time talking to and later, and it was subtle. People didn't know,
01:27:26.660
but later I had to find out that those people didn't like him or that there was something about him
01:27:30.740
that didn't necessarily make them suspicious, but they were turned off by him. And he, he kind of
01:27:36.420
knows it, you know, he knew who he could play with and who he couldn't. So I, yeah, they're highly
01:27:41.840
skilled manipulators and highly skilled at knowing who they can target. I mean, it's yeah. Not unlike
01:27:48.100
any other criminal. They, they target their prey and that for, for mere mortals to respond to
01:27:54.660
appropriately, to see through, to identify, you know, I've, I've said this to my audience many times,
01:28:00.160
but my husband and I are very different in this lane because he would be somebody Paolo would spend
01:28:05.500
no time with because Doug is very good at like sociopath dark, you know, he just knows immediately
01:28:13.560
when he's met a bad person. And I'm ironically as the news person and you'd think it'd be the
01:28:18.360
opposite, but I'm like, no, you're being too hard on him. He's a nice guy. And Doug's always right.
01:28:25.940
At 16 years of marriage, I finally got to the point where I'm like, if Doug says he's bad,
01:28:30.560
he's bad. He's bad. I should not trust my own instincts on this, but for mere mortals out there
01:28:36.300
dealing with these skilled sociopaths, it's a very uneven playing field. So you, as a mere mortal,
01:28:43.680
if you don't have Doug's sociopath dar, you have to follow the clues that Benita is giving you. Like
01:28:49.800
you are most vulnerable when something has happened to you, whether you're strong normally or not,
01:28:57.200
you, you're putting out the scent that, you know, victim here. You also, I know you talked about it
01:29:04.280
a little bit. You didn't use the term, but I know you've talked about the fog that these guys can
01:29:08.440
create around you. And I think that'll be familiar to a lot of people. You feel it. You, you don't know
01:29:13.220
what it is. You feel the fog. So talk about how they create that and what that is.
01:29:16.660
Well, it's a form of gaslighting, right? So they're, they're master manipulators and they
01:29:23.140
come into the relationship or the friendship, whatever it is, could be even be a business
01:29:27.820
arrangement, quite frankly, with some sort of nefarious intention. They want something from
01:29:32.560
you, whether it's money, whether it's whatever it is. And so they're plotting the whole time.
01:29:37.620
And so they are very prepared. So if you start becoming suspicious, they're very prepared for that.
01:29:43.320
And they come back at you rapid fire. You know, they have an answer for everything and they shoot
01:29:48.260
you down so fast and they get angry and they question you, why would you ask me that? And
01:29:53.100
well, you know, and they have evidence, you know, they have all the evidence. And so
01:29:56.460
it's gaslighting. So you start thinking, oh, okay, maybe it's me, you know, maybe,
01:30:02.160
maybe I'm wrong. And it feels like a fog. You know, you just feel, you can't quite figure it out,
01:30:08.300
but you know that you, something doesn't feel right, but they're so convincing and so rapid fire
01:30:13.660
and, and so determined to shoot you down that you just start thinking, okay, it must be me.
01:30:19.160
And that's why I call it the fog. And it's very intentional. It's very manipulative because again,
01:30:25.060
it's designed to distract you and sort of muddy the waters and, you know, get you off the scent of
01:30:32.120
something's wrong or whatever it is that you've clued, clued into. And they're very, very good at it.
01:30:38.300
It's cunning. It's the way you feel when you have low blood sugar.
01:30:43.000
Oh, that's so interesting. It's so true. Yeah. That's exactly what it feels like.
01:30:47.400
Yeah. Your brain's just a little muddled. You're not a hundred percent yourself.
01:30:52.460
You're slightly confused. You're not processing things as quickly as you normally do.
01:30:57.000
Just like there's some separation between the real you and the current you,
01:31:00.460
and they're so good at creating it. They can create it just a million facts that they throw at you.
01:31:04.820
And they're smart. The people who get away with this are very, very smart. So it's not,
01:31:09.280
it's not illogical, their responses and their manipulations. And that brings me to another
01:31:13.840
thing you said, um, about how you said, Oh, um, he probably would have canceled the wedding
01:31:21.920
claiming, Oh, there's some massive security threat. Or you talked about how he said, um,
01:31:27.420
some trip was canceled because of an emergency that the big excuse for the cancellation or the letdown
01:31:34.960
is also a characteristic of these people. Yeah. I call it the walking catastrophe. So if you're,
01:31:41.940
if you're dating somebody, or again, it could be a business relationship. It could be a friendship.
01:31:46.120
And there's one dramatic excuse after the other. It's always dramatic, right? It's somebody's in the
01:31:52.640
hospital or I'm in the hospital or somebody's dead or something so dramatic that if you, if you
01:31:59.380
question them, let's say you're supposed to go on a date with somebody in there. Oh, you know,
01:32:03.000
my kid got hit by a car. If you then question them and well, I thought we were going away for the
01:32:08.860
weekend. I thought we were going on a date. You look like the idiot and the asshole because you're,
01:32:13.640
who wouldn't be empathetic and sympathetic in that situation. And it's very calculative. It's designed
01:32:18.600
again to make, you know, to take the focus of what they're not doing or why they're not showing up
01:32:24.820
and make you feel bad. And, but it's a huge red flag. I mean, if it happens once, okay, that's life,
01:32:30.140
you know, things happen. But if it happens over and over again, these dramatic wild, you know,
01:32:36.280
excuses and catastrophes, that's a giant red flag.
01:32:40.520
Right. So looking back on your relationship with Paolo before poke gate, was there a moment,
01:32:49.340
you know, now in retrospect, was there a moment or two that you, that you can point to where you're
01:32:53.040
like, I want to talk to that girl and say, sweetheart, this is a big deal. Here's your red flag, like run.
01:32:59.900
It's so hard because it's such a slow weaving of the web of lies. You know, it's so meticulous. And
01:33:12.500
again, that fog. So it's, it's happening, happening very gradually. And by the time you realize that
01:33:19.700
you're ensnared in this web, the spider's web, you know, it's too late. It's been going on. I mean,
01:33:25.680
keep in mind, we were dating for almost two years. So it's hard for me to pinpoint a moment
01:33:30.520
like that. Um, clearly not having been to the house in Barcelona was a huge red flag,
01:33:36.640
but we were arguing about that. It wasn't, it wasn't as if I didn't question him about that.
01:33:40.520
And there were things about the wedding that I questioned him about. So again, there wasn't one
01:33:45.320
big giant thing that said, you know, wake up because he had the credentials, everything as nuts
01:33:53.660
as it sound also seemed equally plausible. You know, he, he had a, he's very adept at explaining
01:34:00.900
things into sense, into them making sense. So with you, we speculated, maybe this was about
01:34:09.120
getting a friend in the media, getting a, getting a beautiful NBC piece and perhaps more or, you know,
01:34:16.740
who knows? Cause he did include encourage you ultimately to quit NBC. So at that point,
01:34:20.140
but you're still a journalist, you still have connections. And at this point he may just be
01:34:23.760
seeing it through, but in general, do you think it's just the high that we talked about? Like
01:34:30.680
of lying, of fooling someone smart, like, uh, you know, like a guy who gambles and goes for the high
01:34:37.500
of winning. Is it, is it like that normally? Cause I think this happens to people who don't have
01:34:41.940
the kind of power and job that you had. Yeah. I, I think it goes back to the narcissism. Um,
01:34:49.720
I've asked experts about this and I mean, one of the things is people like him don't go into therapy,
01:34:55.180
obviously. So they don't know a lot about these types of people, but one person explained it to
01:35:00.300
me that all the, okay, let's say you, you were standing on the edge of a cliff and somebody is
01:35:04.840
about to push you off. Think of all the things you'd be feeling, you know, the, the fear, the anxiety,
01:35:09.780
the trepidation, this person said that it's almost like a part of their brain is missing,
01:35:16.240
right? So all those things that we feel, you know, fear, anxiety, remorse, guilt, you know,
01:35:22.860
all the normal things people feel when they're dealing with other human beings or they make a
01:35:26.980
mistake. It's like that part of their brain is blank. They feel nothing. They have no empathy.
01:35:32.000
They have no remorse. They have no guilt. And so therefore they're always seeking a high,
01:35:38.280
something that sort of jolts their brain into feeling something because it's almost blank.
01:35:43.980
And so the rush and the high of getting away with lying for is just fueling them. It's just
01:35:50.520
fueling their ego. It's almost like they need it. Like they, they can't exist without it.
01:35:58.200
So now what is every time I've heard your story, I think, how is she ever going to trust somebody
01:36:04.220
again? How is she going to fall in love again? You're still a young woman. You're beautiful.
01:36:08.880
You're smart. You have to have love in your life at some point. How's that been? And are you up
01:36:14.640
against some major trust issues at this point? So I, first of all, I don't think you can go
01:36:21.600
through something like this and not have trust issues. I mean, it, it would be impossible. I mean,
01:36:26.100
something would be wrong with me if I, if I didn't, and it's taken a while. I mean, this has been,
01:36:31.120
you know, I was 2015. We were supposed to get married. So we're nine years this summer.
01:36:37.380
And I think I didn't realize it at first, but what, when I first started dating people that were
01:36:42.900
more than casual, um, I was choosing people that I knew I wouldn't fall in love with. And I think that
01:36:50.080
was a way of protecting myself because if I, if I wasn't really in love with somebody, then somebody
01:36:55.120
couldn't hurt me. Right. Um, so it has taken me a long time, but I am now in a, in fact, I'm sitting
01:37:02.320
in his house right now. I'm in a, a very serious, very happy, lovely relationship. We've been together
01:37:07.760
for a little over a year now. So, um, that's awesome. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I imagine he's
01:37:15.040
got his challenges. I mean, I, I feel like if I were dating you and I was your boyfriend, I'd be like,
01:37:21.200
I'm going to work and you can call me there and you can speak to my boss and you can come by any
01:37:25.620
time. And here's my everything number, right? Like, I feel like I would feel the need to bend
01:37:30.260
over backward to prove to you. Everything I'm telling you is true. Yeah. And yeah, I'm lucky
01:37:36.320
because he's very patient and very, very understanding, um, and really, really gets what
01:37:41.880
I've been through. And I have my moments, believe me, I put him through the ringer, but he's,
01:37:45.960
he's really good and he's very good at, at immediately sort of quelling any anxiety I have.
01:37:52.140
And yeah, he's just a good guy. And finally, well, cause you know, Benita, I hadn't thought
01:37:56.780
about this word, but I think it's apt. You've been abused. This was an abusive relationship.
01:38:03.760
Yep. Yeah. And there's PTSD that goes along with that. It's trauma. It's, it's, you know,
01:38:09.360
and trauma doesn't go away overnight. So, and it's something you have to be very cognizant of,
01:38:15.100
um, and there are times when that's really frustrating. You know, sometimes I've even
01:38:18.920
said that to him, I'm behave, I behave a certain way. I'm like, you know, this sucks. You know,
01:38:22.900
I hate that I'm doing this. I hate that I'm acting this way. I'm hate that I feel this way. You know,
01:38:27.420
I don't want to give Paulo that power. Um, and I try very hard not to.
01:38:33.520
It's not like what happens to, you know, women who have been sexually abused where you take something
01:38:37.920
that's supposed to be absolutely lovely and enjoyable and a source of connection and turn it into
01:38:43.280
something that's really fraught and complicated for a woman. It's the ongoing victimization of a woman
01:38:49.180
in this position. And that, that's how I see what's happening to you too, as a result of him.
01:38:53.940
Um, I'm, I'm delighted that you have a partner. What, what do you, what do you do with your
01:38:59.660
daughter? Like she must be 21 now. Is she right? She's 20. Yeah. She'll be 21 in the fall. Yeah.
01:39:05.540
Um, so how do you talk to her about, I mean, she, she clearly she's seen it all, but like,
01:39:10.740
what, what are the takeaways? Like what kind of lessons do you impart to your daughter over
01:39:14.580
something like this? Please not repeat mom's mistakes for one thing. Um, and to learn from
01:39:20.380
my mistakes. And I'm, I'm very transparent. I've been very, very transparent with her about
01:39:24.420
everything. And we've always had a very close relationship, maybe closer than we might've just
01:39:30.960
because her dad died and she's been the two of us. So, and she's a strong cookie. She's a smart
01:39:35.600
cookie. You know, that kid is, is super wise and no nonsense. I'm not worried about her at all.
01:39:41.320
You know, I think, I think thankfully she, I think she's proud of me and she's, you know,
01:39:46.460
she sees what I've done with this and she's proud of me for speaking up against him and fighting back,
01:39:51.860
but she won't make my mistakes. You know, she's, she has definitely read about this in her college
01:39:57.320
application essay. I certainly hope she used it for some way for good.
01:40:03.040
I know she does. She prefers not to deal with it. And I appreciate that. You know, she,
01:40:07.680
she deserves to have her own life and her privacy and, um, very adamant about shielding her from
01:40:13.320
this now because, you know, she's, this shouldn't be hanging over her for the rest of her life either.
01:40:18.320
She's 53 years old. I have to, I'm a big fan of compartmentalization now. I really believe in it.
01:40:22.600
I don't believe what we're told. We have to talk about everything. The more you can shove it down
01:40:25.740
and ignore it like a good Presbyterian, the better. Um, that's my husband. I'm Catholic,
01:40:30.300
but anyway, the last thing, how about professionally? Cause like you didn't go back to NBC,
01:40:36.380
right? What are you doing now? Um, I'm, I freelance, but I'm very busy. I'm a show runner.
01:40:41.200
I'm sure running two different true crime shows at the moment. Um, and so, yeah, no, I'm busy back to
01:40:46.880
work. Um, I also narrate stuff. So, um, and I, yeah, I actually like, I didn't think I would,
01:40:52.780
but I liked the freelance life and not being, you know, tied to one job always all the time. So
01:40:57.380
it's good. Everything's good. Yeah. And I'm sure, well, if you're investigating murders over on
01:41:03.140
investigative discovery, you're not, you're not falling in love with your subject matter. So
01:41:06.080
that's good. I know that's a door's been closed. Oh, all the best to you. Thank you for telling
01:41:12.140
this story. Hope that the whole process has been cathartic to you. And, um, you know, at some point,
01:41:18.140
I know you'll probably feel the need to respond to his documentary, but I do hope you can close this
01:41:21.820
door and move on from it. You've got so much to do and so much to live. Yeah. Yeah. It's,
01:41:27.480
it's nice knowing that I'm able to help other women by sharing my story and that always keeps
01:41:32.700
me going, but it does, you know, it's reaching the point where, okay, enough time to stop talking
01:41:39.240
about this, you know, and move on with my life. I just want to, I just want to be happy and move on
01:41:44.040
with my life. I know I, and so many others are grateful that you did, that you did tell the
01:41:48.880
story and you found the guts, even though it's parts of it, I'm sure it felt humiliating and you
01:41:52.640
didn't want to do it, but good on you. You're the only reason he was doctors. He's been held
01:41:56.800
accountable and hopefully more to come all the best. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Yeah.
01:42:02.680
Thank you too. Wow. So happy to have Benita telling her story and helping others.
01:42:08.380
We are back tomorrow with a former prosecutor. You would know if you are a true crime fan like
01:42:16.140
yours truly from Dateline in 2020 with an incredible case he helped solve.
01:42:26.000
Thanks for listening to the Megan Kelly show. No BS, no agenda, and no fear.