Fraud Week: Two Former NXIVM Members Speak Out on True Horrors of the Cult...And How They Got Out | Ep. 817
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 28 minutes
Words per Minute
190.25307
Summary
Sarah Edmondson and her husband, Anthony Nippy Ames, are former members now of the cult called NXIVM and the hosts of the podcast, A Little Bit Culty. In this episode, they tell the story of how they found each other and got married, but they also found utter darkness and depravity in one man s desire for ultimate power and control over women.
Transcript
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Welcome to The Megyn Kelly Show, live on Sirius XM Channel 111 every weekday at New East.
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Hey everyone, I'm Megyn Kelly. Welcome to The Megyn Kelly Show and today's Fraud Week episode.
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My guests today were searching for self-improvement and a way to contribute to the good of society
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when they joined an organization called NXIVM. They found each other and got married.
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But they also found utter darkness and depravity in one man's desire for ultimate power and control over women.
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Sarah Edmondson and her husband, Anthony Nippy Ames, are former members now of the cult called NXIVM
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and the hosts of the podcast, A Little Bit Culty, and they join me now.
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It's so nice to meet you, Sarah. Thank you for being here. You as well, Nippy.
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Thank you so much for having us. And thank you also for being such a proponent of anti-NXIVM
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from the beginning. We appreciate that. Of course. I remember so clearly where I was
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when that New York Times article hit featuring you in a lengthy article of you coming forward
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about what you'd been through. And I had chills. I just couldn't believe it. You were so beautiful.
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You were accomplished. You were so raw about how you'd been sucked into this thing.
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And not for nothing, but it happened in my hometown of Albany, New York, which was just so strange to me.
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Like, Albany? You don't think of Albany as like, yeah, I don't know. It doesn't feel culty, right,
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to use your word. It's like the hardworking people. It's kind of like the Midwest. You know,
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I would think something like this would happen more in California, but it happened in Albany and
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you were in it too, Nippy. And I know, you know, on the bright side, it brought you together, but
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not without a hell of a lot of trauma. So thank you for telling the story. I guess let's start at the
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beginning for the audience members who've never heard of, you know, this, or at least if they've
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heard of it, they don't really know what it is. Because I do think much like some other cults,
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many other cults, it had some pluses, which is why smart, vibrant people like you got drawn in.
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So talk about how you first heard about it and what was attractive about it to you.
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Sure. It was 2005. I was an aspiring actress and I was looking for more meaning and purpose
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community in my life. I met a really talented filmmaker who I admired. I'd just seen his film,
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What the Bleep Do We Know? And the long and short of it is he said, well, if you like my
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film, then you'll probably like this course I just took. And as somebody who is into self-improvement
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and workshops, my parents are both in the therapy field. It seemed like a no-brainer. I did not do
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any research, unfortunately. I've learned from that mistake now, but I jumped in. I really wanted to
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develop myself and work through limiting beliefs. And that was the beginning. And it was wonderful at
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My story is less glamorous. I had an old high school girlfriend who I went to boarding school
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with and she's from the area and she had taken the training and I'd run into her in New York and she
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kind of hounded me for about a year and a half. So I kind of went kicking and screaming to the training
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in part because of what she was saying and in part because she knew me when we dated and she knew I was
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into the leadership stuff and all that stuff. And it was aligned with me and my principles. And
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finally, after kind of being hounded about it, I said, fine, I'll do your cult. So I called it a
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cult from the get jokingly, but I didn't really.
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Did you have any hints or that was just purely a joke?
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It was purely a joke. Well, it sounded like a cult and I didn't really have a strong understanding of
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what a cult is. It just sounded weird and it sounded like you're following this guy. And I was like,
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yeah, I'll do your cult. And I kind of jokingly went up and did it. And it didn't seem, I mean,
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it was weird. I mean, it was, it was the whole time. Um, but I kind of took it, you know, in stride
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and was like, well, you know, what's the worst thing that could happen? Well, cut to, right.
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Right. So it is true. This is kind of the study in, in how, how people can be manipulated,
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you know, how very bright, intelligent, accomplished people can be manipulated
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beyond what they ever thought possible, manipulated into doing things like self-harm
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against their better instincts and so on. It's like, they, they separate you from yourself.
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They don't, they not only separate you from your family and your friends, they separate you from
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yourself, which is really one of the, probably the worst things that they can do. But all right,
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again, I'm getting ahead of myself because before we get to that chapter, there's the,
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there's the wonderful chapter. You know, I, I talked to Catherine Oxenberg about this,
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um, princess and famed Hollywood actress. And she was saying the reason she got into it with her
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daughter, India was they were just looking for female empowerment and to do better in business.
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They are both business aspiring business women, and they offered a lot of classes along these lines.
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So it's kind of, where do you go, right? Where do you go for female improvement or better business
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acumen? If you're not going to take a full MBA program, Sarah, right? I mean, was there any of
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that sold to you? Oh, absolutely. In fact, they even sold it as a more practical and useful MBA.
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That's what I thought I was getting. And I remember when Catherine and India came and did the program.
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I'm so happy because I loved the both and wonderful, bright, beautiful energy. And that was such a big
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part of it as well. It wasn't just learn how to do business, learn how, what success is from the
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inside out, how to map out your goals and work through things that you're, you know, you're
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limiting blocks, your beliefs about yourself and the world, but also as a community of like-minded
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people and people who were going to achieve big things and wanted to do it with people that were
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in a similar mindset and, and do it together. So I, I have very fond memories of that time period.
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Right. It always starts. Well, that's why people.
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So explain what happened with the money, because I think this story is very telling
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and I am also attracted by this woman's message. Like I can already see why you were like, Oh,
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okay. Well, cause you tried to complain or object a little to the expense of it when you were first
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being recruited and they had an answer for everything. Oh yes. I was recruited by the best.
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I actually put a deposit down because I wanted to take advantage of the 48 hour discount,
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which is a red flag. I've warned people about with sales pressures tactics. I didn't know that
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at the time. And then I tried to get my money back because I was, you know, an actress living in a
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basement suite. I didn't have $2,000 to pay for a five day training. And they said, wait, you're in
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your twenties and you don't have $2,000. What's up with that? And basically was questioning why I didn't
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have money, why I had money issues and wanted to know if I was ready to change that. And do I want
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to be the master of my own ship? Of course I did. And then you said something like, well,
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what if I'm in there and my agent calls with a role for me while I'm in this training? And they
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had an instant answer for that too. Yeah. You'd be waiting by your phone,
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your whole life, or you want to create your own, create your own life, be the master of your own
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destiny, the captain of your ship or something like that.
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My first experience of gaslighting did not know what that was and high, high sales pressure
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tactics, but I, where your instincts are telling you one thing and they're, they're trying to tell
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you, you're basically a fool not to listen to your instincts. Those are the things that are holding
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you back. Exactly. And what you said earlier about separating you from yourself, that was the
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beginning. That was the beginning right there when my internal gut was saying, eh, something's not
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right here, but I also have the belief, and this was fortified further on in the curriculum that
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when you're uncomfortable, it's something to look at. It's a, you know, um, you're hitting up against
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the limitation, no pain, no gain, which is true, but that doesn't give any room for gut instinct.
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And when you're separated from yourself and separated from your moral compass, that's when
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things can go awry. And that was a very slow process. That was from day one, uh, dripped out until,
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you know, 12 years later. This is why it's so important to keep away from these people to begin
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with, you know, to like, yes, the secret is almost just don't get near them because they're so effective
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and we're all vulnerable to messages like this is same. Honestly, weirdly when it comes to news,
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like I, I'm very careful about my news sources because before you know it, I mean, you can be
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a little crazy. If you take in too many news sources from the wrong people, it can really drive
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you a little nuts. So the whole answer to it is the, the screening upfront before you would let
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people access your brain and your heart. Great advice. Yeah. I would, I would add, you know,
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all these things are case by case and people are susceptible in different ways. And the predators
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like Keith Ranieri who are very good at it are very good at spotting that and they're proactive
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in doing it. What they have going for them a lot of the times is they know what it's like to be you
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with your vulnerabilities and they know how to spot them and exploit them. Um, people who are more
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susceptible, they can probably spot and they spend more time with and with people like Keith, you know,
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for me, I wasn't targeted in the same way he was targeting women. So I was more peripheral to some of
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his abuse, but the people that were susceptible to what he was looking for, the people that he spent
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more time with. And he was, you know, if you could turn pro and abusing people, he was a professional
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at doing it. And that's ultimately what came out, you know, when, when everything came out about what
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he was doing and how he was doing. Well, people talk so much about how he was this gifted, brilliant
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man. And it's true that in this one lane, right? Yes. Yes. Not the lane. Look at him now. I mean,
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this is like, this looks like somebody who's trying to be a cult leader. He's got the Jesus
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hair, the beard, you know, is like in retrospect, yeah, of course. Yeah. That picture doesn't do him
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any justice. No, he did get a makeover by the way. And I want to say 2010 or 11, where he was a little
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more clean cut and would wear like polo shirts and nice jeans. And yeah, cause the people around him
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are like, you got to clean up a bit because you're not, but he would spend that, you know, he would spend
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that in the same way that say, you know, Einstein was quirky and he didn't care about that stuff.
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You know, that's Keith. He's just Keith. He's being him. He doesn't put value on material things
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and he's spiritual himself and all that stuff. And that's the total. Yeah. Yeah. It's,
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it was built in. You've, you've, you've talked on your podcast about the steps to realize you're in
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a cult or getting recruited by a cult and people do need to be aware. There are tons of cults.
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It is not just this one. They're all over the United States and you get, usually you get roped
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in the way you two did unknowingly. So one of the first red flags is what we just talked about,
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which is a lot of money. They want you to pay and it tends to be escalatory, like a pyramid scheme,
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like more and more and more for the next level. Because ideally what they want you to feel at the end
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of the five day is it was super valuable, but also there's something in you that needs to be fixed.
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And of course they're providing the answers to fix you. And that's the only way, or that's another
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red flag. This is the path forward. This is the, this is the way to evolve whatever it was that you've
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just realized about yourself is broken. And that's by the way, like very commonplace. NXIVM is,
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I don't know if you are afraid of Scientology or not. We're not anymore, but Scientology landmark,
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like all of these programs are all based on the same premise. You know, if you want to transform
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your life, then you have to pay money. You have to pay to play. And this is the path.
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And to justify the buy-in too, you know, you're there working for five days. You want to make sure
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that you feel that your investment was worth it. And so they'll say stuff like, well, was having that
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awareness about yourself worth the price of admission. And you're kind of going, well,
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maybe I could have gotten that from a book, but I did spend two grand to be here. So
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you have confirmation bias. Yeah. So here's a question for you now in retrospect, knowing what
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you know, do you feel like take Keith out of it? Do you feel like the emissaries around Keith
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were all along like knowingly pushing a pyramid scheme or whether everyone was brainwashed by this guy?
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You know, was, I believe he was at the top actively manipulating, but how about everybody
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around? Allow me to feel that one. Nippy loves answering this question.
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So here's my delineation and you can take it for what it's worth. I think there's a lot of people
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there. I'd say 98% of them, 99% of them who were there because we thought we were doing something
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good. And the closer to Keith Raniere you got, the more abuse you experienced. And in cases of the
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worst case scenarios, he was sexually abusing them and they didn't think they were doing it
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being sexually abused. They thought they were going on a spiritual path with someone sexually.
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So, um, and they were told to keep that secret. So 99% of the people stayed in the organization
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based on the capacity of the people around him to lie. And we underestimated the people around
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him, their capacity to lie to us and keep us loyal to someone that they knew who wasn't,
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they knew he wasn't who they were pretending he was. Meaning he presented himself as celibate.
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He presented himself as these things. And the people around him knew that he wasn't that.
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And they were propagating the lie and they were propagating the lie because if they didn't believe
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in the lie, they had to admit to themselves, they were being abused. So the buy-in for them was
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my entire life is a fraud and I'm, and, and I'm propagating this myth, uh, knowingly,
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but if I let other people know, that means I have to admit I'm abused. So it's like knowing and not
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knowing. So, but a lot of people made major life decisions based on their capacity to lie. Cause if
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I had known that's what he was doing and I found out afterwards that some of my friends that, you know,
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someone I knew was sexually abused by him and all that stuff, if I had known that stuff when I had
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first done it, I'd have been in there raising hell from the get. But because I didn't know that
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stuff when I was peripheral, I didn't think this stuff was going on. Cause I didn't think the people
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that I knew and were friends with were being abused because I thought they would have said something.
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So, you know, and I didn't know what I was looking at. So, and I would have protected them.
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I would have been the first one in there. And I think they knew that. So I think that that's why
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they didn't want to tell me that. So there's a lot of things keeping this thing propped up.
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And once the truth came out, you know, everything fell apart. And so that's my delineation. Like
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it's hard for me to, I never knowingly lied about Keith Raniere and who he was. I was unwittingly
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aligned with someone abusing people. And that was, you know, I had to go fix that, you know,
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and Sarah and I, you know, have done everything we can to fix that. But the people that were close to him
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have to reconcile being abused by him and then lying about who he was to keep people loyal to him.
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So can I tell you guys, it's kind of a double whammy. Yeah. I've said this before. In fact,
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whenever I talk about NXIVM, this comes up for me because in many ways it reminds me of Fox News,
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my time at Fox News when Roger Ailes was running it. He was like a cult leader and Fox News when I was
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there was in many ways like a cult. It was definitely, quote, culty. He was the leader
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whose judgment was not to be questioned or to defend him at all costs and not question his
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genius. Anybody who left was otherized and demonized immediately. You know, even just a
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correspondent who like got fired, you know, who didn't want to go. Doesn't matter. You're on the
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outs. It's us versus them. And I, as I got higher in the organization, you know, closer to the sun and
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got to know him better and better. All I could think of was that Carly Simon song. Sometimes I
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wish often I wish that I never knew all those secrets of yours. I, I was getting exposed to the
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reality. And I had a real wrestling session with myself on an ongoing basis about who is he, who is
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this man? You know, is he this all knowing television genius or is he this frail conspiratorial
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paranoid guy who's a genius at messaging and I've been sucked into it and to be a cog in this massive
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wheel. And honestly, I don't, I don't know if I have a clear answer on that even right now, but I'd
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totally get what you went through. Yep. Well, the questions you're asking are, are, are valuable.
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And that's why our podcast is called a little bit culty because the abuses of power that went on in
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cults or go on in cults aren't proprietary to cults. They go on a lot of places and putting language to
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it and shining a light on it is kind of in our lane. And the fact that you can make those connections
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is, is great. I think valuable for a lot of people. Absolutely. And it's so important right now,
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because I think even if you use the word cult, people get a little defensive and they go,
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it's not a cult. Traditionally doesn't have all of the markers, but another way of saying it is,
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is this a healthy place for me to be? I remember when, when you were dealing with that publicly,
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I got, I got goosebumps just now, as you were talking that I started to make those correlations
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without obviously knowing everything that you just said. But anytime that there is someone who you
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can't question without getting in trouble. And there's this, this air of fear in an workplace
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environment, don't have to call it a cult. It's just not good for you. You can't express your true
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opinions. You don't want to say what's really on your mind. And like you said, you're separated from
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yourself because you know, you want to keep your job. That's not, it's not healthy. Nevermind
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And, and at Fox, similar to NXIVM, it came out in the whole Me Too scandal that he had this
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secret floor at Fox with these private detectives and others who would be digging up dirt on his
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enemies. Anybody who turned on him was a very risky thing to do to challenge him in any way,
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which is why, you know, his Me Too scandal went on for so long without anybody speaking up about it.
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People understood you didn't cross him. And these leaders, they have that ability of scaring you
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through their emissaries, through their messaging, you know, they have ways of letting you know that
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you'll pay if you cross them or the group. And it's amazing how, again, you can be pulled into this,
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even, even though you don't think you're one of them. At NXIVM, it was a step further where you guys
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actually called him Vanguard. You know, he had like the, the name. Was that, at first,
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did that feel silly? Were you like, what? Oh God. At first and at last, Megan, the whole time it was,
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it was that, you know, it was. But also it became normalized. Like, you know, people would say
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Vanguard means it's the leader of a philosophical movement and that's what he's done. So,
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you know, you call them Vanguard. Some people called him V out of school. I know out of the
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center, we called him Keith. But it, it just became normal. Like all the things that were
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weird at first, the sashes, the bowing. And that was introduced on day one as these are the things
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we do. As in, you know, if you go to someone's house and they take off their shoes, you take off
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your shoes because that's the polite thing to do. So you go to their center, you wear the sash,
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you call them Vanguard. You kind of just like, I'm just doing it because you're asking me to,
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and I'm taking off my shoes. And then it becomes a courtesy. Yeah. It's a courtesy. Yeah. And then
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it's a dojo. So this is like a martial arts system. We wear these sashes, denotes what level of rank
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you are, just like in a dojo. Well, you don't want to wear one. Well, let's look at that. But what area
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in your life do you feel like you might have an issue with authority? You know, and then you, again,
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you don't know that you're being gaslit because they're saying it nicely. They're there to help you with
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your authority issues, which by the way, some of us may also have. So there's like truth mixed in
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with the gaslighting. And then you're questioning yourself and you're like, whatever, it's a piece
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of fabric. I'm just going to wear the stupid sash. And it was done effectively. I mean, Lauren Salzman
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was, was a really good head trainer and she would teach it in a way to, to normalize it pretty
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quickly. Um, she's like, you know, she was the daughter of one of the co-founders, Nancy Salzman go on
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to become Sarah's best friend. Keep going. Yes. And she would do it in a way. It's like, look,
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we do these things at work. We do these things, you know, we, we have titles like your honor
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injustice systems. And so she was drawing parallels and the curriculum drew parallels in society of
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like where you could go as a student. Okay. I'll wear it for this training. Right. And so slowly
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you're starting to become acclimated and indoctrinated into a culture that you haven't seen anything bad
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about yet. You just think it's weird. And some people would be okay with it. I was never really
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comfortable with it, but we always, I mean, for the most part, we all thought it was weird. And
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all of us were like, look, we got to lose the sashes. We're losing students. So it was kind of
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like one of those things where we, we all knew the optics of it. And then at Fox news, it was
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polyester, bright colored dress, uh, dresses. Oh, there you go. There you go. Could have been worse.
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Um, I was going to say, which is worse. They said all these wonderful things about Keith. He's this,
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he's that the other thing. And I remember talking to Catherine Oxenberg about when she got her first
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look at him. And of course she comes from Hollywood. She's like, you know, she's, she knows what an
00:22:13.660
attractive person looks like, you know, in, in a way Californians know acutely. And I remember her
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being like, she was like, that's it. That's him. Did you like, that's Vanguard. Do you,
00:22:26.000
did you have a moment like that when you first got? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he just looked
00:22:31.460
like a schlubby, you know, volleyball playing. I think he actually had knee pads. I'll take it.
00:22:37.980
I'll take it to an degree. I mean, look, I played sports my whole life. I was a college athlete and
00:22:43.640
they were trying to sell this guy as an athlete. And I went and showed up to one of the volleyball
00:22:47.400
things. You know, my friend took me one night and I was, it was late and I was kicking and
00:22:52.040
screaming, going to that because in my mind, I was going to take a training and peace out.
00:22:56.160
And I saw him moving around. I was like, do you guys really think this guy's an athlete? Like,
00:23:00.980
look at him. Like, and they were like all marveling at how he played volleyball. And I'm
00:23:04.840
over there just kind of going, Oh my God, like what is going on here?
00:23:09.700
Wait, stand by because we have, we have a little video of this. I'll show the audience then pick it back
00:23:13.740
up. Oh, great. Yeah. Don't take my word for it.
00:23:17.400
Yeah. We can practice generating an extreme feeling of joy over anything.
00:23:31.840
Thank you. That was really, do I hug and I kiss?
00:23:42.520
Yeah. Not a strong selling point. And he had, you know, I always joke about this and I, and I always
00:23:50.100
gave the people that person that enrolled me a lot of crap for this because I was like, why is he
00:23:54.980
putting the fact that he's a judo champion in sixth grade on his resume? Like, why is that a selling
00:23:59.500
point? It was like, I, you know, there's a lot of things that I did in sixth grade that were as
00:24:03.440
successful that I've forgotten about. Like, I don't like, it's just, he's a judo champion.
00:24:07.900
I was like, well, get over it. Why didn't he continue? Why didn't he go into like, you know,
00:24:11.420
mixed martial arts in his 20s? That would be more impressive. But the sixth grade achievements on
00:24:15.540
his resume is a middle-aged runner-up for a class president in the fifth grade. I lost him.
00:24:21.400
Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I feel really good about it.
00:24:27.880
All was said and done. I, I don't think he hadn't yet been tried. So it wasn't all said and done,
00:24:33.000
but after we get to, you know, and we'll get to this, but he got arrested. Um, I had an interview
00:24:38.460
with his lawyer, Mark Agnifolo. It was contentious. Yes, we saw that. I forgot about that. Yeah.
00:24:43.700
Remember that? Can we cuss? Is it okay to curse on here? Yeah, you can curse. That was bullshit.
00:24:51.400
I was pissed. I was so grateful for you though, for asking the tough questions.
00:24:56.300
Yeah, that was great. You were like, seriously, Mark? He was like, this is New York. We don't do
00:25:01.680
slavery here. What do you mean? We pick ourselves up. We're, we're strong. New Yorkers are, I'm like,
00:25:06.480
okay, you can be strong and be sexually manipulated as the women are alleging here. He was like,
00:25:12.280
what do you mean? New York jury's not going to buy that. Well, okay. So here's a little clip where I
00:25:17.400
got into it with him about what was amazing accomplished man. Keith Raniere supposedly was
00:25:24.640
check it out. About Keith Raniere and his tenuous relationship with the truth. He claimed he
00:25:30.680
graduated from high school and started RPI at age 16. That's not true. Yeah. I don't know. I don't
00:25:34.800
know when he started. He claimed he could make full sentences by the age of one. If exaggerating about
00:25:40.240
one's resume is a crime, I think we're all in trouble. No, I'm not. I'm probably not either,
00:25:45.300
but other than the two of us, this guy is a liar. He has a long history of lying about himself
00:25:50.420
and his achievements, including his time at RPI where he was a 2.2 GPA and not a triple major
00:25:56.420
who set records at the school. That doesn't worry me in the least. No, no.
00:25:59.900
Oh my God. Well, my hero. My favorite line is no, I'm not. And he's like, yeah, no, me neither.
00:26:08.340
I know. And actually none of us really do that. That was like 19 year old stuff.
00:26:13.020
Oh, that was so great. You made him. He's not the brightest bulb. Even you have like,
00:26:19.640
we're kind of like, I don't get it. Is this the genius? But okay. You know, but the women around
00:26:23.720
him seem to have been really on and meant to, but like on and kind and warm and offering something.
00:26:30.700
So it wasn't all about him. Sarah, is that correct? Well, I want to add one caveat here,
00:26:35.580
just because it's, it's important. Like it's easy to sit back in hindsight and make fun of it and,
00:26:41.440
and kind of distance ourselves from what we had fallen for. I will say for me personally,
00:26:48.000
I was all in on the curriculum. I was all in what I thought we were doing. So I, one of the things
00:26:54.580
that I don't like is when people don't own what they fell for and try to distance themselves from
00:27:00.160
like, you know, I fell for this and it kind of minimizes the story and, and the magnitude of,
00:27:06.580
of what can happen. You know, for me, I was somewhat evangelical about like, Hey, this is,
00:27:11.280
these are ethics. These are changing the world. Yes. I thought Keith was, was weird, but I was,
00:27:15.080
I was hook, line and sinker bought into what we were doing and not totally sold on Keith,
00:27:22.120
but like, didn't think there was bad things going on there in the way that they were. So I think it's
00:27:26.680
important to own that. That's, you know, how I got myself in the situation and not minimize the fact
00:27:33.140
that I did fall for this thing. And it's easy to laugh at now. So anyway, I just think it's important
00:27:39.820
because I don't want to, I don't want to punch down on people that are in that situation. Cause I do
00:27:43.780
think you have to go take the bite out of that and really lean into it to understand what happened
00:27:48.160
to you. So all it's fun and kidding, but just putting that out there. Yeah. And it's therapeutic
00:27:54.800
to laugh after the fact too. It is. It is. I have plenty of, I would not be through this trauma if
00:28:00.740
it wasn't for the way that Nippy and I can laugh about it and continue to. Uh, but to answer your
00:28:05.480
question, I think for me, it was a little different. I, even though he was a schlub and it wasn't
00:28:09.820
attracted to him, I was greatly respectful of what he, I thought that he'd built. I thought
00:28:15.340
his mind created this tech, which is another red flag, by the way, the curriculum, it's not a
00:28:21.000
technology, but we had been so changed by it. And I thought that came from him. And I obviously now
00:28:27.400
know that he stole that from a number of other modalities that already exist and packaged it as
00:28:31.840
his own. But then he was also propped up by these women that seem to have their, their lives
00:28:37.040
together and people that I really liked and respected. So I was getting so many of my, um,
00:28:42.340
social and emotional and spiritual needs met very, very quickly, uh, community meaning I was,
00:28:49.440
I was helping myself. I was growing, but I got to help others. I got to give people the
00:28:53.680
transformational experience that I was getting, which totally filled my cup. I felt special.
00:28:59.000
I got taken under the, the, the wing of women that I really looked up to, and they were going
00:29:03.220
to help me grow. And also it was measurable. The straight path.
00:29:07.040
Um, the martial arts system of growth was so different than acting, which had what I'd been
00:29:12.220
doing before, which is, you know, you never know if you're going to book work or not book work. And
00:29:16.580
now I knew I could just do boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And I would evolve. Like that's what a great
00:29:21.640
promise. I didn't, um, again, like Nippy said, I underestimated that, you know, how much bullshit
00:29:28.020
that actually was, but if it was what it said it was, it would have been amazing.
00:29:31.720
I know I'm ready to sign up right now. I hear you. And I'm like, yeah, I want, I want it all.
00:29:37.820
And so he, you and he interacted quite a bit that in the, um, the show, the vow, which was on HBO,
00:29:43.780
which is an excellent documentary about all of this and how he went down has the scene of you and Keith,
00:29:50.240
Sarah, you and Keith interacting in as part of like your training. We've cut a little bit of it just
00:29:55.220
to give the audience a flavor. It's top two. I keep drawing a blank. That's okay. And I know I'm
00:30:01.560
giving you unbearable grief. It's okay. But if you could do it here, you can do it in New York.
00:30:08.440
I know I should know this. Um, all right. Who's ready to have fun? Yeah. All right. Okay. So in
00:30:17.800
order to have fun, we don't want anyone to get hurt. Right? No, not fun enough. Who here is here to
00:30:24.460
have fun. Fun. Come on. Fun. Okay. You shouldn't be trying to turn up their energy level. Okay.
00:30:34.620
When the audience gives you the signal that they got it, you move, you move, you move.
00:30:41.540
This is actually good. I mean, I'm listening to him like that's all good advice. I think
00:30:45.500
he was teaching, um, basic rapport skills of how to like lead a group, uh, in the room,
00:30:52.520
but I haven't actually seen that since the vow came out. I forgot how painful that was a to watch
00:30:56.340
and be in the moment. And that was actually one of the only times that was ever trained by Keith
00:31:00.900
personally in sales. And it's crazy that it was beautiful. You are. You're so beautiful. Like
00:31:06.820
your angle, the angles of your face and your, the earnestness of you standing up there,
00:31:10.920
actually trying to learn it. And I see it though. Like he's charming. And what he's saying to you
00:31:15.060
makes sense of how to relate to a crowd. He's actually trying to improve you. He's trying to improve
00:31:19.140
you, I think to sell his products and get more buyers into his cult. No.
00:31:24.380
Yeah. Yes. But also he was humiliating me. I don't remember if you see it in the whole clip,
00:31:28.640
but like he pushed me and pushed me and pushed me trying to get me to break down. And I refused
00:31:32.960
to cry. And at the end he gave me a little crumb and said, good job. And that's when I remember
00:31:37.900
like looking back that that's how he controlled so many of the women. He was always humiliating them
00:31:43.340
subtly under the guise of trying to develop them. And then would give them these little crumbs of,
00:31:48.520
um, attention and affirmation that they were on track and that he didn't really mess with me
00:31:54.800
much, mostly because I think I was out in Vancouver just bringing new fresh students to him. So he
00:32:00.560
didn't do that a lot with me, but that was a particular painful moment that I'd actually
00:32:06.120
completely forgot about until I saw the vow and was horrified. I also don't think you're susceptible
00:32:11.020
in the same ways. I was not susceptible in the same ways. Well, we've since learned through,
00:32:18.100
mostly through our podcast and interviewing other, you know, survivors and experts, especially
00:32:22.620
experts on gaslighting and narcissism and cults that a lot of these guys really look for, uh,
00:32:29.140
it's such a, I hate to use the word, but like daddy issues, but like a bad attachment with their father
00:32:34.540
in some case, or bad, not good attachment with the parents. So then Keith would step in and be that
00:32:40.560
father figure to a lot of these women, uh, you know, to, to grow them, to coach them similar to how he
00:32:46.160
was doing with Alison and that clip. He never reached me in that way. Uh, partly I think
00:32:51.360
because I have a great relationship with my dad and, um, strong attachment, if you believe in those
00:32:55.880
theories with my parents. Um, so, I mean, he got me in other ways, but not that way. Thank goodness.
00:33:01.040
And also, you know, being with Nippy, uh, long-term protected me. Um, and which I think also infuriated
00:33:08.900
him knowing what we know now. Yes. Yes. Oh God. I can relate to all of this too. I was just thinking
00:33:14.780
like when Roger L started to feel like I was getting out from under his thumb and I was not,
00:33:21.940
you know, just going to do whatever he wanted me to do or say whatever he wanted me to say.
00:33:25.760
He started to insult me like a fair amount behind the scenes to try to, you know, cut down my
00:33:31.640
confidence. And it just, I don't know if I'd identified that. I, I was just sort of attributed
00:33:37.320
it to anger, but it, you're giving me a new way to think of it almost, you know, like it's,
00:33:44.300
it's a manipulation almost like to change you so that you'll go back to the way you were.
00:33:50.720
There's a term negging. I don't know if you've heard it. And it's, I don't, I don't know the book.
00:33:56.480
Yeah. It's from the game. And the idea is, as I understand it is I'll give you a little bit of
00:34:02.080
approval. So it feels good. And then you always be chasing that approval. And then also you would
00:34:07.380
start and sell like the person it's, it's actually a dating training for men to try to get women,
00:34:14.020
like men who can't just like date women normally would learn this way of like, yeah, it's basically
00:34:20.300
dropping these little breadcrumbs of approval, but then also the negging is sort of like an insult,
00:34:24.880
these little insults. It's like establish interest and then take it away so that you'll want it more.
00:34:28.840
It's why you see sometimes women with these men, you're like, what is going on there? Cause they're
00:34:32.720
like giving, it's almost like a microcosm of, um, sex trafficking and grooming. It's, uh,
00:34:39.200
love bombing. And then a couple of episodes where women have described this, you know,
00:34:44.220
the cult of one, you know, we've had some episodes where people, um, have described this
00:34:49.280
strategy, um, where men target women, find their vulnerabilities and exploit it in that way. And,
00:34:55.740
and depending on, I'm giving, I'm kind of out of my lane here. Um, but, but depending on your
00:35:01.920
attachment, say with, you know, a loved one or previous loved one or something like that,
00:35:06.440
they recognize now that, that you might be, be vulnerable to that strategy. And if not,
00:35:11.800
you might be vulnerable to another one. So, and this is how they operate and this is how they work.
00:35:15.320
And this is how they filter a room. I think they can, I think they can walk into a room according
00:35:19.280
to some interviews we've had and spot the person just by the way they look by the care of themselves,
00:35:25.040
because they have such in so much Intel and such a body of work on people that they can kind of
00:35:30.840
scan a room and go, this person probably is susceptible to this, this, this, and this.
00:35:35.900
Yeah. Right. And they do find out what your issues were. I mean, I was like you, Sarah,
00:35:39.920
where I didn't really have that many. I mean, I, thankfully I come from a great family,
00:35:44.060
though. My dad died when I was young, but a very loving family. And I was a strong person,
00:35:48.680
but you can still get sucked in. It, it, it doesn't just happen to weak people. I like,
00:35:54.840
it happens to strong, weak people with issues, people who have almost no issues. It's that's
00:36:00.720
one of the things I hope people take away from your story is absolutely. Yeah. A lot of these
00:36:05.240
women were very strong, very smart, accomplished. And before they knew it, you know, they were on the
00:36:11.760
table without their clothes on saying, it would be my honor if you would do this thing to me.
00:36:16.200
Um, right. So let's, let's push it forward a little. Can we just talk one minute about the
00:36:21.240
Seagram's heirs? Because he, he had strong and powerful and very wealthy backers too. Because
00:36:31.160
that, you know, you wonder like NXIVM wasn't just in Albany. It was in quite a few places here. You're
00:36:35.480
Canadian. Um, he branched out quite a bit and he had some important financial backers. So can you talk
00:36:42.500
about these, this pair of sisters, the Bronfman's? Yeah. Feel that one. I mean, you can chime in when
00:36:50.440
you, as I understand it. Um, cause again, Sarah and I weren't the inner circle, right? So you have
00:36:57.860
to understand we, we, we are observing it from the outside, but what we've gathered and what court
00:37:03.540
documents have gathered is that I think, and this is what we've kind of ascertained is once they came
00:37:10.420
men, they became made that they, the admit powers that be made them special and promoted them very
00:37:16.080
quickly. And then as I, as I understand it, it's like getting a Bezos or a Gates wants to
00:37:24.320
They were VIPs and they were targeted. And I think Claire from my assessment was a little
00:37:31.220
bit, uh, susceptible, more susceptible when she was put in a position of authority and power
00:37:36.140
and kind of ushered to the top where she was making decisions, but really it was Keith making
00:37:40.960
decisions. Um, Sarah less so because I think Sarah, you know, wanted other things. I worked with
00:37:47.020
Sarah a little bit in New York city cause we ran the center there for a little bit. And I just
00:37:51.100
think she constantly struggled with her commitment to the organization. I think she wanted a husband,
00:37:56.420
a family, and that's ultimately what she ended up doing. So she ended up being peripheral
00:37:59.800
ultimately, but her sister was in. Claire was the one who held on to the bitter end. I mean,
00:38:05.860
she was like, yes, we're taking him away. She's still like, no, still till now. Yeah. Yeah. Still
00:38:11.360
now she's in jail and she got the maximum sentence for her crimes. She got tripled the suggested
00:38:18.240
amount because she refused to disavow Keith in court. Incredible. I think I said, but there,
00:38:27.120
this is the heir to the Seagram's liquor fortune and beverage fortune. Yeah. Um, okay. So you guys
00:38:34.120
were, things were kind of rolling along and then something critical happened to you, Sarah, where
00:38:39.000
your, your best friend who we mentioned, who was the daughter of the co-founder Lauren came to you
00:38:46.280
and wanted you to do something that would make you extra special, like sort of an exclusive thing.
00:38:53.220
She wanted to share with you as your best friend and in this lane of female empowerment. Can you
00:38:59.320
explain what happened? Sure. And there's a lot of steps that led to this point. And this is often
00:39:05.060
where people stop and go, sorry, what happened? And I need to give a little backstory, which is,
00:39:10.160
this is, you know, 12 years into the organization. We've had our first child. I'm starting to pull
00:39:15.080
back. I'm starting to recognize. I want other things. And being a mom is more important to me
00:39:19.480
than growing this, this company. And I get invited to a secret sorority. I've never been in a sorority,
00:39:26.460
a secret club for women by women, badass sounds so dumb now, badass bitch bootcamp, but we're going
00:39:33.340
to work on ourselves and take the tools to a whole new level. Although it's got nothing to do with
00:39:38.280
NXIVM. And I sign up thinking this is going to take everything I've been working on to the next
00:39:45.660
level. Also Lauren invited me and I trust her implicitly. She was also, you know, she's our,
00:39:49.720
our son's godmother married us at our wedding. So, you know, I say, why not? And it's, it was many,
00:39:58.280
many, many steps that occurred from saying yes to that. And then being fully committed to this
00:40:04.200
organization called DOS, which I didn't know what it meant until after the fact.
00:40:12.480
Yeah. I, my body, my, I can feel my body. I haven't talked about this in a while. My
00:40:16.120
body started to go into like a little bit of a trauma response and I'm aware that I have to be
00:40:21.440
careful, but tell me what, what can I tell you about it? Oh, I'm sorry. I, I can see it. And I,
00:40:28.020
I know people who have been through like really traumatic things, this can happen. It can have a
00:40:32.260
physical effect just to speak about it. Um, so I can help fill in some of the blanks. Oh,
00:40:38.780
I can see you're getting upset. I'm sorry. I know. It's okay. I, I thought it, I thought it was,
00:40:44.300
it's been seven years. I thought it was past it, but it's just been a while to, to revisit it.
00:40:49.980
Well, it's deeply traumatizing because it's this organization to which you've devoted your life,
00:40:55.140
your best friend, a person you trusted, a person you thought loved you,
00:41:00.020
who asked you to do this extraordinary thing and manipulated you into doing it.
00:41:07.220
So I, why don't we run a clip from, um, the vow from HBO is the vows in which, um, this explains,
00:41:15.380
she came to you with a proposal that you be her slave quote slave. She would be your master.
00:41:21.800
And here's a little detail on how that was supposed to work.
00:41:25.180
Okay. It's like a heightened level of a coaching relationship, which makes sense that she goes
00:41:31.400
into, and we call it master slave. So what I knew about this point is that Lauren had sisters. She
00:41:39.820
was part of a pod. I knew there were other sisters under Lauren. She said, one day you'll have
00:41:47.200
slaves and you'll have six slaves and then you'll be a grandmaster. And I'm like, no, keep in mind,
00:41:55.020
every step along the way is totally weird. Just like sashes are weird, but then Lauren explains it.
00:42:05.900
And I think we should tell the audience about collateral before we talk about what,
00:42:10.000
what happened next, because this was an important piece of the story. Can you explain what
00:42:14.540
collateral meant within Nexium or within DOS? Sure. So even before DOS was introduced,
00:42:20.700
there was this term called collateral and brilliantly Keith set this up for years before
00:42:28.120
this ever happened. I mean, think about if I joined in 2005 and they would have told me that 12 years
00:42:33.660
later, I would have the leaders initials on my body. I probably would have run for the Hills,
00:42:38.380
but it didn't happen that, that way. And I would say in around 2010, 11 is when collateral got
00:42:45.400
introduced. And it was, it was earlier. It was much earlier than this was 2017 that I got branded.
00:42:50.800
And, um, collateral was basically a term that, well, it's a term in the English language, but Nexium,
00:42:58.320
it was something that you'd put down as a commitment against your word. Is that same?
00:43:03.200
Yeah. Yeah. Like if you were going to do a goal around weight loss or writing a screenplay, you'd
00:43:08.980
say, if I don't do X, Y, and Z, I'm putting this $500 down and it's going to go. Yeah. I'm going to
00:43:14.440
go to charity or something, or I'm going to donate it to the center or I'm going to whatever. And that
00:43:19.220
was also mixed with penance, which I think if anyone's religious, I would not religious. I didn't
00:43:23.960
understand the term or have any background to it, but penance was a part of it as well. People were
00:43:28.400
doing penances and putting down collaterals against their word. And in Nexium, your word,
00:43:35.520
your commitment, your integrity, it was one of the highest values, which may not make sense to the
00:43:42.880
average listener, but there's just certain components of the belief system that was slowly
00:43:48.800
infiltrated into our belief system over time that was of the utmost value. And one of those things was
00:43:54.780
commitment, your word. Um, and so it was very normal to, to give collateral, to back something
00:44:00.560
up. And then it went next level in, in DOS, as I understand it, where they didn't want you to just
00:44:08.100
give $500. They wanted something much more personal and potentially damaging. Yeah. And every step along
00:44:16.520
the way with DOS, there was more and more collateral. And then once I would finally fully committed,
00:44:21.300
I found out that there was going to be collateral collected every month. So people were giving
00:44:26.480
things like nude photos, um, like sexual videos, um, false testimonies, false accusations of like the
00:44:35.280
worst possible thing you could say against your parents that your master would hold. So that if you
00:44:40.360
ever defected or left the group, that those things would be released. Those letters would be released.
00:44:45.660
One person I think that wrote that their parents had molested them, um, or that, uh, there was a
00:44:51.460
lawyer involved who said that she had falsified evidence of a trial that would have gotten her
00:44:54.860
disbarred. Terrible, terrible things. But these things were meant, we were told to keep, help you keep
00:45:01.600
your word never to be released. Otherwise that'd be blackmail, which is what it was. That's the
00:45:07.300
appropriate word. Yeah. Speaking of Scientology. Yeah, exactly. And when, when we, just to jump to
00:45:14.160
later, did deprogramming and watching going clear and all the Scientology content, I was
00:45:18.500
just blown away by the similarities there, the collection of all the secrets, which also
00:45:24.340
happened in NXIVM even before DOS was introduced. When you, when you came to do a training, you'd
00:45:29.280
write down on the intake form, like what your goals were, why you were there. What was your worst moment
00:45:33.820
ever in your life? What was your worst decision? I mean, depending on bad things you may or may not
00:45:39.000
have done in your life, those, those things in the wrong hands, a hundred percent be blackmail.
00:45:44.680
So scary. This is their strategy. Yeah. Very scary.
00:45:49.560
So your best friend, Lauren asks you to engage in this ceremony where you're going to take off
00:45:57.600
your clothes. And first of all, that must've been like, you know, women will change in front of each
00:46:02.600
other or going out or like, you don't ask your friend to get naked in front of you. So was that,
00:46:06.840
do you remember having a big reaction to that moment?
00:46:11.900
Yeah. So when she invited me to DOS originally, what she told me was that I was going to be having
00:46:16.580
a special, very special ceremony with my other sisters who hadn't met yet in the sorority,
00:46:21.780
you know, initiation. She didn't say anything about being naked. She said, we were going to get
00:46:25.600
a matching tattoo that was really pretty. And she showed me the location on her body and told me it
00:46:31.520
was dime size. That's what she told me on the night of is when she asked me to, to get naked and put a
00:46:38.660
blindfold on. And it's just like, you know, even, even now to this day, it's, it's difficult talking
00:46:45.200
about it, obviously, but explaining why somebody would say yes to that. And ironically, recently,
00:46:50.940
just talking to somebody who was in a fraternity, I've heard my story. I was like, Oh, I get it.
00:46:55.160
Like when I was in a fraternity, like we're sort of agreeing to like, this is a game and like,
00:46:59.160
you're, you know, you're above me and I'm going to let you paddle me. And like, okay,
00:47:02.040
but as part of the, you know, we're just in a fraternity. You're not really my master. You're
00:47:05.240
not really, I'm not really your slave. And that's always how I felt about it. So when she asked me
00:47:09.580
to do that, it was kind of like, okay, okay, we're doing this. All right. Like, and I, you know,
00:47:15.180
I knew Lauren well, I had been, um, you know, I changed in front of her and like laid down naked and
00:47:20.880
like, it's just, it's crazy. It's, I understand how crazy it is. And, um, you know, it's,
00:47:28.320
it's hard to, it's hard to explain 12 years of indoctrination to lead one to this point,
00:47:34.080
to understand what could be going on in my psychology that I would say, okay. And not
00:47:39.500
like, this is fucking weird. And like call Nippy to come pick me up. Cause he dropped me off to have
00:47:43.500
what he thought was soup and salad girls night or something. Right.
00:47:47.520
Oh boy. You guys, you guys are married at this point, right? You're, you're married.
00:47:58.780
I'm Megan Kelly, host of the Megan Kelly show on Sirius XM. It's your home for open,
00:48:04.760
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00:48:08.760
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00:49:02.000
So you, I mean, I mean, this is just like you, you know, you did absolutely nothing wrong. What
00:49:08.020
your decisions are completely understandable given the context. And she was the villain here.
00:49:12.180
And so she, so now she reveals it's not a tattoo. It's a brand. And that too was misrepresented.
00:49:20.280
Like, what am I getting branded on me? Like what, and she did not, what did she tell you it was?
00:49:26.500
She told, so at this point I'm with all my sisters. So there was four other women and Lauren and then
00:49:33.160
the doctor, I say that loosely, um, who was branding. Yeah. Um, and she showed all of us and she said it was
00:49:40.880
a symbol for the elements and it was, I still can't remember if she said Greek or Latin or something,
00:49:45.740
but it was another language symbolically and also looked like the elements, like a symbol for water
00:49:50.400
and air and earth and whatnot. So it was, it was a symbol. And, but what we were told it meant
00:49:54.880
overall is it was a commitment to our growth, which is where the, the indoctrination leading up to this
00:50:00.780
moment kicks in because not only am I committed to this group and I'm committed to Lauren and I'm
00:50:06.420
committed to my growth, but I have also learned through the many, many years of programs and
00:50:12.700
workshops that I've taken that no pain, no gain. And there's all these other correlations that I
00:50:17.660
don't believe anymore, that pain is love and love is pain. And you have to experience pain to grow and
00:50:23.520
to love and all these other, you know, word salad bullshit meanings that were part of our belief system.
00:50:29.280
And then in addition to that, we have the female male training that we'd been learning that women,
00:50:36.500
and this is Keith's misogynist beliefs around women is that the, you know, we are always looking
00:50:41.100
for the back door. We lack commitment. We're too feelings driven and we don't have any honor or
00:50:46.680
character. And this is my opportunity to prove that I'm not that way. So even when I'm like literally
00:50:52.400
looking for the back door in this little complex, this duplex that I later found out belonged to
00:50:58.960
Allison, I'm in my head, I'm gaslighting myself and saying, you know, this is what women do. You
00:51:04.940
can't back out now. You said you were going to do it and you got to do it. Just fucking do it.
00:51:08.360
Just get on the table and do it and prove that you can do it. And, and I did it. And I did probably
00:51:13.300
one of the most difficult physical things I've, I've ever done other than childbirth to be
00:51:19.620
branded with a clatterizing iron in a ceremony that took somewhere between 30 and 40 minutes
00:51:25.660
without anesthetic. And that is something that I was only able to do because I completely
00:51:31.760
disassociated. I didn't know that at the time, but I was thinking about love of my family,
00:51:36.240
love of my son, getting through childbirth, knowing that I could do that. I could do it again. And I'd
00:51:40.480
also seen what happened to the other women who went before me. It looked like torture. And I was
00:51:44.540
determined to, to be strong and, and prove to everybody that I could do it because I'm
00:51:49.880
strong fucking woman and I'm a badass and I'm going to be part of this group. And that's what
00:51:53.700
it takes to be part of the group. Yeah. And so I did it. Why did it take 30 to 40 minutes?
00:52:01.600
Because, um, she would do a line and then stop and then Lauren would recite something and I would
00:52:09.020
repeat it back. Um, it may have been, it may have been less. So one of the reasons why I was not a
00:52:14.400
witness in the trial because branding, I thought it was just one brand. So it was repeated branding.
00:52:21.440
And in other words, burning of your skin. I thought it was just one mark, you know, that
00:52:25.400
it was like, imagine a clatterizing iron has a tip, like a pen and every, it basically slices through
00:52:35.360
your flesh in a, in a line. So you'd be like, like, so the, every line that you see in that
00:52:41.000
diagram was done individually. And some of the lines took longer than others. And that's why I
00:52:46.420
was determined, um, to do it quickly because I wanted to be over with. So it may have, it may
00:52:51.420
have been less for me, maybe 25 minutes or so. I know some of the women took almost an hour because
00:52:56.800
they had to stop and like gather their wits to keep going. So you weren't the only one getting
00:53:03.420
branded that night. I was the third of the fourth. I recall. Wow. That's kind of worse
00:53:12.160
in a way, you know, it's like, I'd rather be first, I guess. So you don't hear the shrieks
00:53:16.440
before you. Yeah. I, I honestly don't remember that much about the night, but I, I remember
00:53:23.100
looking at one of the women that I was branded with. And at first we were wearing surgical
00:53:26.780
masks, um, because of the smell. And I remember looking, seeing her eyes like over the top of
00:53:32.240
the mask and just, and like, just pure terror in both of our eyes of like what in the actual fuck.
00:53:37.140
And then we just went for it. And yeah, you know, I, I, I do remember like, you know,
00:53:45.240
making light of it and trying to, you know, muscle through it with humor and completely
00:53:50.400
disassociated. Um, later I got to see the video because there was a trial against the doctor.
00:53:56.800
And, um, I mean, that was horrific also that that even still existed and that was kept,
00:54:03.920
which was also for the video of her branding you. I had to watch it for the trial. Whoa.
00:54:11.880
Whoa. Yeah. And I'm by the way was the only woman in DOS that would speak to that because they were
00:54:18.540
still, um, either too afraid to speak or still loyal to Keith and had believed that it was,
00:54:24.840
you know, a good thing to do. What was this lunatic doctor saying? How was she defending
00:54:31.820
her branding of you? Um, there actually, there's, there's some, she went on, was it 2020
00:54:39.240
with Nikki? She went on Dateline, um, to defend herself, uh, and is still loyal to Keith,
00:54:46.080
even though she's had her doctor's license taken away. Um, and would be, I, you know,
00:54:54.220
I I'd let it go and forgive her. Um, and it would have had a very different approach. Had she just
00:54:59.800
been like, Hey, that was a major fuck up on my part. But she, even to the day, to the end,
00:55:05.540
so now says that we, um, we committed to this thing, knowing that we wouldn't know the details.
00:55:12.200
She branded me knowing that the symbol was not what we said it was. And by the way,
00:55:17.300
that it's that evening itself is not what woke me up. It was finding out that it was Keith's
00:55:21.620
initials in the monogram. And there's proof that she, sorry. That's the big reveal about this,
00:55:30.940
right? Yeah. It wasn't a symbol of the elements at all. It was the initials KR for him. You'd been
00:55:38.120
branded with another man's initials. Yes. That's, that's my body. That's like one or two days after
00:55:44.440
the, uh, branding and that's us inside. I can see so clearly now just for the listening audience,
00:55:50.360
it's a K capital K on its side. So the straight line is at top at the top. And then the R is in
00:55:57.340
reverse inside the lower triangle. You can see it. If you zoom out, it's, it's clearly KR. So we
00:56:05.020
actually have a, we have a bit from the vow of you confronting Lauren, your best friend on the fact
00:56:11.320
that this is not the elements. This is Keith Raniere's initials. Uh, and here's that in top
00:56:17.660
five. I didn't make the brand. Okay. Yeah. I know you didn't make the brand. And now I just looked at
00:56:23.920
it from the side and it says KR. I have Keith's initials beside my vagina. Do you think Nippy's
00:56:30.180
ever going to want to go down there again? I mean, is Keith behind us? Is Keith the one who
00:56:37.620
organized this? It's not something that we discussed, Sarah. And it's not Lauren. It's a
00:56:44.780
relevant. Lauren started by a bunch of women and they got permission from Keith to use some of the
00:56:50.680
tools. He gave them permission to use collateral and penance. Okay. But he didn't know about the
00:56:56.060
branding. He knew about it, but he didn't cause it. And he didn't create the brand. The girl did.
00:57:04.320
Oh my God. I haven't seen this in a while. It's so absurd. What's that bringing up?
00:57:11.020
I mean, so what's not in the vow that it's not too super clear is that I knew more than I let Lauren
00:57:17.220
know that I know, if that makes sense. So I was trying to figure out what she was going to.
00:57:21.940
So like something had switched for you. Yes. Like I was more out than she knew. And so to hear it,
00:57:28.160
to, to hear me ask her straight up and to hear her pause and not answer me is just,
00:57:33.640
I just like my, my whole body is shaking. Just remembering that time period, those two weeks
00:57:40.840
where I, we, you know, we were out. We had figured out the Keith's initials were my body. We'd spoken to
00:57:47.720
Mark Vicente, the man who originally introduced me. We had shared what we knew. I knew about the
00:57:52.540
branding. He had heard all this stuff about the sex. We're putting it all together. And we were
00:57:56.220
like, Holy fuck. Like our worlds had just got flipped upside down, but we knew that we couldn't
00:58:02.200
just, you know, go to them and, and be like, you're a cult and you're a sociopath and you're a sex
00:58:07.900
trafficker. We had to play our cards, right? Because otherwise they were going to turn on us because
00:58:11.600
we'd seen them turn on people who defected. So we had to kind of figure out a strategy where we were
00:58:16.940
like, wait, what's going on. That's why when I'm hearing it, do you remember? It was like it, we
00:58:23.040
were, we were kind of double agents. We were like, wait, his initials are on my body. And do we know
00:58:27.620
about like, does he know about this? I knew he knew about the branding because I already figured that
00:58:32.640
out from a number of other, like we'd put things together. So I had to pretend to be kind of like
00:58:37.600
talking. Yes. Yeah. We all started talking. So, so yeah. You came home from the branding
00:58:44.280
and saw Nippy for the first time and Nippy, you like what described that moment when you find out
00:58:51.240
Sarah has been branded. So I was actually asleep with our son when she got home. Well, that's,
00:58:57.060
that's the night that I came home. But then, but six weeks later is when I found out I was in New
00:59:03.240
York city. She was in Vancouver and I got a phone call and she told me about it. And I was
00:59:09.700
driving with a friend of mine. There's no longer a friend. And she told me and my initial reaction
00:59:20.380
was, wait, what? Like I didn't, I didn't Mark tell you first. Mark told me first. Yeah. Mark told
00:59:25.760
him that she'd been branded or that it was Keith's initials. That she'd been branded with Keith.
00:59:31.120
He hadn't seen it yet. I hadn't seen it yet. And there was a part of me that was like,
00:59:36.260
there's gotta be more to the story. Right. And then I was like, okay, my wife potentially
00:59:42.080
got physically hurt here. Like I'm piecing it all together. And then it dawned on me,
00:59:48.840
we might be in the grips of something diabolical here and we need to get out and I need to get my
00:59:55.520
family out as quickly as possible from this. And Mark wasn't sure if I was going to be all in or
01:00:02.480
whatever, because you know, everyone had their doubts. Right. And they didn't think Keith was
01:00:06.440
going to be this and you have to admit to yourself, but it didn't, it was by the end of the conversation.
01:00:12.680
I was like, okay, how are we going to blow this up? And I was pissed obviously. And I had to,
01:00:18.800
you know, reconcile all the primordial reactions to having your wife physically hurt. I didn't know
01:00:26.120
that me being around Keith would have been smart because I don't know really what I would have done
01:00:31.960
had I had to confront him. Um, and we made a lot of really good decisions in a short amount of time
01:00:40.940
to blow this up. Um, but a lot of that is documented in the vow. It's very, it's very powerful
01:00:46.360
to see you all working behind the scenes. That was a gift to us all for you guys to start taping
01:00:51.540
and filming. And Mark, Mark was a videographer, right? Wasn't he? Yeah, he was the one who
01:00:57.900
filmed all this stuff that hung him. Yeah. Well, he, he was a filmmaker before he got into NXIVM and
01:01:04.260
then he was kind of hired internally to document everything because Keith wanted a library of his genius
01:01:09.020
to live on. And Mark was incredibly skilled DP and trained a bunch of people in NXIVM to film every
01:01:16.160
waking moment and sleeping moment sometimes of Keith and all the trainings and all his,
01:01:20.980
all his wisdom. So as soon as shit went sideways, uh, we just continued to film. So yeah, we didn't
01:01:29.540
know this was going to be an HBO series. We just knew if anything, we were filming things to protect
01:01:35.360
ourselves. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of how we thought about it at the time. We thought,
01:01:38.500
okay, look, we didn't do anything wrong here. The perpetrator is Keith Raniere, but we know that
01:01:43.520
they're going to come after us, start making stuff up about us, start gaslighting us, saying victimize
01:01:48.740
themselves to us. So we need to, which they did, which they did, which they tried. I mean,
01:01:53.480
Claire came to Vancouver to try to get me arrested. She flew to Vancouver to speak to the Vancouver
01:01:59.280
police and Bronfman and made up a bunch of things. I, I, I stole from them, uh, it was theft, mischief
01:02:06.960
and, um, fraud and all of those things. I think, you know, I had to hire a criminal defense lawyer.
01:02:13.460
I, you know, it was a very bad, stressful time. Some of my friends that, you know, ultimately,
01:02:18.340
ultimately people saw the truth that were, that were loyal to time. They called me and they were like,
01:02:22.260
yeah, she came to me and she said, okay, give me the dirt on Nippy and Sarah that you have.
01:02:27.260
And he's like, I don't have any. Like what? Like what have we been doing?
01:02:32.100
Yeah. That they were in an existential crisis that, you know, NXIVM and its fate hung in the
01:02:38.160
balance. Uh, we created a lot of problems for them that Keith knew that it was his initials that
01:02:43.960
were being used in the brand. There was evidence of that submitted during his 2019 trial. This clip
01:02:50.960
we're going to play here is via USA today. And it's, it's Keith and the actress, Alison Mack,
01:02:56.680
who we've mentioned a couple of times here. She was the start, one of the stars of the show
01:03:00.040
Smallville and was a critical part of all this, including DOS and the branding and so on. And
01:03:04.820
then my master of quote slaves and his sort of right hand person. Uh, and here's the two of them
01:03:11.900
on tape discussing the brand. You think the person who's being branded should be completely
01:03:20.600
nude and sort of held to the table, like a sort of almost like a sacrifice. I don't know if
01:03:26.880
that, that's a feeling of submission, you know, videoing it, uh, from different angles or whatever
01:03:37.500
gives collateral. So probably it should be a more vulnerable position type of a thing back
01:03:46.680
leg slightly for a leg spread straight, like being feet being held to the side of the table
01:03:51.920
and probably above the head being held almost like tied down, like a sacrificial, whatever.
01:03:59.820
should say, please brand me. It would be an honor or something like that.
01:04:06.760
Not an honor. I want to wear for the rest of my life.
01:04:09.500
Right. And they, they did make say something like that, something along the lines of honor.
01:04:20.780
Master, would you brand me? It'd be an honor, which is basically him proving in his mind that
01:04:26.260
we asked for it, that it was a consensual thing.
01:04:33.620
Horrific. And also vindicating because he's in jail until he's in jail. And to that point,
01:04:38.480
there were still people saying who were defending him. He had nothing to do with the branding. This
01:04:43.220
is a bunch of women who made some bad decisions and they shouldn't have done it. And Keith's nothing
01:04:48.320
to do with the branding. And now there's video or audio evidence of not only that he knew about it,
01:04:54.400
but he came up with the idea of how to do it and pass it off to Alison so that she would take the
01:04:59.960
fall. So it's, it's triply, not, there's no word, uh, astonishing, horrific.
01:05:07.840
Well, you get the, you get the peek inside of a guy who's just diabolical. I mean,
01:05:12.460
but you know what, you know what we're missing? And like, I want to address that portion of the
01:05:16.140
audience. That's like, well, that was, that was not a great decision, but you made it, you know,
01:05:20.520
you accepted this brand. It went well beyond, that's not why he's in jail right now.
01:05:24.400
It's, it was a sex trafficking scheme. I mean, he was having young women who he was brainwashing
01:05:32.040
into starving themselves nearly to death and during this so-called sisterhood, which was
01:05:37.420
really a sex cult meant to service him. You weren't one of those, Sarah, right? That was,
01:05:42.820
but many other women were basically being groomed. I mean, not basically they were being groomed to be
01:05:49.660
Keith Ranieri's sex slave. Yep. And that's the thing when people say you chose it, you could have
01:05:55.340
laughed, whatever. It's really important to understand in my mind, I've committed to this
01:05:59.580
game, like in a fraternity or sorority where someone's telling me what to do. And I'm saying
01:06:04.220
yes, because that's the commitment. A vow of obedience is what I've done. I think this is an
01:06:09.520
exercise. And one of my exercises is to get this brand. So I do it. Other women had other things.
01:06:15.240
And so the collateral, this is a key point. It's like a gun to the head. If you don't do the
01:06:19.840
things, your collateral is going to be released. So that's not really a choice in the cult space.
01:06:25.280
They call it a bound, a bounded choice, a bounded, sorry, bounded choice, a bounded choice where like
01:06:32.120
there, there, there's no, actually no way out. You, you have to do the thing. Yes. So the other
01:06:38.700
women had assignments like, you know, go seduce Keith. India talked about that in, in her story,
01:06:44.620
that that was her assignment and other women had to do other things with Keith. And that was their
01:06:50.220
assignment. And that's what they committed to. And they went along with it as well, because
01:06:54.120
what are you going to do? You're going to lose everything and also admit, Hey, I just made a
01:06:58.380
really bad decision, which is one of the components of it that keeps people kind of,
01:07:03.180
you know, doubling down the, um, India Oxenberg story. She's Catherine's daughter. They joined
01:07:12.620
this again. Catherine has such guilt over this because she thought she was bringing her daughter
01:07:17.340
to a self-help program to help her learn business skills and did not foresee what was going to happen
01:07:24.120
shortly into it. Catherine recognized this is not for me. I, I don't know. I'm out,
01:07:29.440
but India was getting something out of the lessons and stayed. And before Catherine knew it, India
01:07:36.760
was completely untethered from her, was being intentionally separated from her, her loving
01:07:42.640
mother. And Catherine knew she's gone. And I, now it's turned from like, it's turned into a rescue
01:07:51.560
operation and it was doing everything within her power to try to get India back. But India at this
01:07:57.180
point is brainwashed and the mere threat of like, I'm going to take you out. You need to get out.
01:08:03.280
Keith is a threat would otherwise Catherine even more. I mean, that the person who's inside the cult
01:08:08.380
is like, Oh hell no. And Catherine spoke to me in her first interview about this before India had
01:08:16.800
got, got been, you know, pulled out before Keith had been arrested and India. I mean, Catherine is a
01:08:23.200
very well-known Hollywood actor and going to the media was truly her last resort. Here's a little
01:08:31.180
bit of that interview from, um, early or it was early. It was late 2017.
01:08:37.040
The program that seduces people to abandon their lives, to serve their agenda rather than empowering
01:08:43.960
your preexisting life. There's something off about that. So I watched her get sucked in.
01:08:48.520
And I, the more I learned because defectors came and told me about their experiences, the more
01:08:53.240
concerned I became. And I realized that I did, well, I did an intervention with her at the end
01:08:58.880
of May and I failed. This is my last resort going to the media. My daughter is very, very angry with
01:09:04.440
me right now. And she has every right to be angry with me because I would hate my mom if my mom came
01:09:10.560
out and publicly exposed her in this way, exposed me, but I love her to the end of the world. And I
01:09:17.780
I'm only doing this to bring awareness because without awareness, there can be no outrage.
01:09:22.620
And unless there's outrage, the authorities are not going to step in and do what they should do,
01:09:26.540
which is shut this down. Oh, what's your reaction to seeing that Sarah?
01:09:32.080
I remember that interview. I was so grateful. I don't know if you remember, but I was,
01:09:36.420
your team had asked me to be there and I wasn't emotionally strong enough to do live TV. I just
01:09:44.000
didn't think I could handle it. But I was so grateful that Catherine had the strength to speak
01:09:49.040
when we couldn't and brings back a lot of memories of a time when, you know, we were all just throwing
01:09:55.240
our punches and that media punch and, you know, Catherine's role in the takedown was, was really
01:10:01.520
important. We all had a very different role. Me with showing the physical abuse and, um,
01:10:08.400
Mark Vicente and Bonnie and Catherine, like Nippy, like there was, there wasn't many of us that were
01:10:13.080
willing to talk. People before us too. Yeah. And people before us who tried and in 2009, like it
01:10:18.180
just, like, this was a fight that took so much of our life force, you know, our life force in it
01:10:24.400
and resources and then afterwards and watching it, it's just, just brings back a lot of memories of a
01:10:30.920
very stressful time because we didn't know what was going to happen in the trial. We didn't know if
01:10:35.460
Keith was going to be convicted or not. Even now to this day, he's still appealing to, you know, a couple
01:10:41.140
this week found out his third or fourth appeal was denied. He's still trying. Like it's, it's an ongoing
01:10:46.880
stressor and that seeing that video is, um, yeah, it's a reminder of what, what we've been through
01:10:54.820
and, and, um, also so happy. Let me tell you something petty about me. You just said that you
01:11:03.080
didn't accept our invitation to come on because you were not ready for live, which makes absolutely
01:11:07.400
perfect sense. I remember at the time, cause I really wanted you, your story was amazing. And we
01:11:13.060
were really covering this case aggressively. And honestly, I was so disappointed. And I remember
01:11:18.420
thinking she doesn't want to come on because I was with Fox. Oh no, no, no, you know, we make up
01:11:23.900
these stories in our heads, right? I mean, I'm just sitting here. Well, I mean, that's the time we're
01:11:28.780
in too, right? Yeah. Oh, I'm so glad that we, we've cleared up this. I know this day now.
01:11:35.960
No, I, I, I had, I had, I just tell it because I bet there's a million women out there and guys
01:11:40.460
who tell themselves stories about, Oh, it's something about me. There's something wrong
01:11:44.260
with me. What I did, why I didn't get this thing or why I didn't get invited to this thing. Or this
01:11:48.440
person didn't say yes to my invitation. We make up the worst stories about ourselves. Like there's
01:11:52.720
something wrong with me. I'm, I'm branded too, right? I'm branded in a way. And then you, you know,
01:11:58.360
you talk to the person, you find out I'm a fucking idiot. Why do I do this to myself?
01:12:04.480
I love that you share that. And I love that I got to, to tell you because it's, you know,
01:12:09.280
it's been a long time, a long time coming. And I've been so grateful for your activism around
01:12:15.500
it because it was such a, that interview was such a, um, an extra punch in an already, um,
01:12:22.480
very, we, we just, we just didn't know what was going to happen. And that was,
01:12:27.420
Because the authorities weren't doing anything. They weren't doing anything.
01:12:32.920
For the record, I show Sarah clips of, of Meg and Kelly on, off Twitter. I go, see, she gets it.
01:12:38.280
Oh yeah. You get it. We, we, we, we, we, we know you get it. Yeah. Oh, thank you.
01:12:45.320
Especially the culty shit everywhere right now. Oh, I mean, it's terrifying. And the more vulnerable
01:12:50.860
people are post COVID and in our weird world where we don't know who to trust and the media
01:12:55.240
has fallen apart, uh, even more so. So finally the police, the FBI, they, they do get involved.
01:13:01.900
It took all of you, all the names you just mentioned, Catherine, all of you. And by the way,
01:13:07.100
I should mention before I forget India, thank God finally saw the light, got out and did her own
01:13:13.780
documentary that she did on her own terms. Um, and so I was very happy for her and for,
01:13:19.280
for Catherine too. I mean, that story individually is just about a mother's incredible love for her
01:13:23.980
child and what a mother will do, but she's in this about to all of you are there working,
01:13:28.740
as you say, your own pieces of it. Everybody had a different sort of gift and a risk to take.
01:13:32.980
And ultimately he does, he does get brought down. He gets arrested in Mexico and still the top
01:13:41.640
echelon of the women are like running after the cars. They take them away. They just were
01:13:47.920
completely brainwashed that he, he was some sort of Messiah. He was genuinely important to them.
01:13:54.160
Yeah. It was nuts. And did you ever think that there actually would be a trial or that he'd kill
01:14:01.060
himself or flee again, or somehow find a way to manipulate the system? Cause he's very good
01:14:06.180
manipulator to get the charges dropped. Well, narcissists don't kill themselves.
01:14:12.200
That's a good point. That's a good point. Yeah. I, I did think that he would, that he was a flight
01:14:19.140
risk there. You know, Claire owned this Island in Fiji. And, um, I did, we, I just really did think
01:14:25.980
that he would get away with it somehow, even with the, every appeal. I'm like, Oh my goodness,
01:14:29.780
we're going to, are we going back to square one? He is so manipulative. He's so conniving. He's such
01:14:35.100
a sociopath. Will he get out of it? I mean, there, there was a point where I remember thinking,
01:14:42.840
shit, this is going to be the next five to 10 years of our life with Claire Bronfman, just filing suits
01:14:49.380
against us, bankrupting us, you know, cause that's what she had done. That's what she did. Very
01:14:52.940
litigious on his behalf. Sorry. Keep going Nippy. Yeah. And I just remember thinking, shit, this is
01:14:58.060
not good. And then I remember thinking about my kids, you know, when my, my one son at the time was
01:15:02.840
like, his childhood is going to have this going on until he's nine or 10. And I just remember
01:15:09.080
thinking like, and then once the New York times article came out, I felt, I didn't feel entirely
01:15:18.000
safe, but I felt safer because I knew they had other problems and Sarah and Nippy weren't, you
01:15:24.480
know, enemy number one. We were, cause they had to put out a lot more fires because a lot
01:15:29.820
more people were speaking and a lot of other problems were happening and they took their
01:15:33.200
guns off us. I didn't know. I didn't know that we were in the clear and the way the FBI and
01:15:38.420
the way this thing happened and how quickly it happened, he was arrested in March of 18 and he
01:15:44.180
was tried and convicted by June of 19. So in under two years, really this whole thing happened
01:15:49.860
and he was sentenced to 120 years. And? Oh, and five years probation.
01:15:56.960
That's my favorite part of it. Um, and what, can you explain what, for what was he convicted? What
01:16:03.660
did, what did the, uh, there were seven counts. I don't know. I think it was, uh, a wire fraud,
01:16:09.200
sex trafficking, um, conspiracy to commit. Um, oh man, it's been a while since I've recited
01:16:16.620
these labor Rico. There were Rico acts. The manipulation of the young women into becoming
01:16:23.840
like his sex cult. Yes. Yeah. They didn't use it. I think it's important to mention Moira
01:16:31.600
Penza cause she read the article and it wasn't tried in the, um, Northern district. It was
01:16:37.960
tried in the Southern district, right? Eastern, Eastern district. Would Eastern, would JFK be
01:16:43.080
Eastern district? Where's the, where's the Portland? Yes. Yes. JFK airport. So that'd be the
01:16:48.240
Eastern district because that's where the sex trafficking happened at a JFK airport technically.
01:16:51.840
So that became their, their jurisdiction. So she was able to, to try the case because originally
01:16:57.600
we went to the Northern district and they were like, well, you agree to it. And then they were
01:17:01.440
like, cool story. Thanks. And there's a whole case there. Then the corruption in that district,
01:17:07.340
it's hard to tell it. It's hard for me to believe that he could have gotten away with the things that
01:17:14.060
he'd gotten away with, with the complaints that have been going on up there without greasing some
01:17:18.580
wheels. I don't know how that works. I'm kind of, again, I'm out of my lane in that, but it just
01:17:22.520
seems to me there was a lot of abuses of power that are going on up there. And if I were to pick
01:17:26.780
somewhere to try and get away with it, I think upstate New York would be kind of a sleepy place
01:17:31.880
where you could just kind of get away with it and no one would be suspect. That's my guess.
01:17:35.780
No, I know. We used to call it what small bony because it's like, it's a small, I think people
01:17:40.760
were shocked that anything like this could happen. And there may have been a measure of embarrassment
01:17:44.260
that it went on for so long, right under everyone's nose. So, you know, you may not be
01:17:51.060
wrong on that. So did you have to testify at the trial?
01:17:55.080
I did not. I was one of the first people to speak with Moira and her team at the FBI and spent two
01:18:02.260
and a half days with my lawyer and just gave them everything I knew. I set the scene, like how the
01:18:07.420
company worked, the stripe path, everything I knew about DOS, all my photos, all my text messages,
01:18:12.720
everything. I think I actually gave them my phone and my computer to mirror and said, have at it.
01:18:17.820
And then that brought in other people and subpoenas and everything. I ended up not having to testify,
01:18:23.800
I believe, because I would have been testifying against Lauren and Lauren in the end turned on Keith.
01:18:30.420
So I didn't need to. I think also I would have been a bad witness because I had done a lot of
01:18:36.600
press at that point. And that would have been something that Mark Ignifolo would have gone in
01:18:43.160
on. Like, isn't it true, Sarah, that you've written a book, you know, that kind of thing.
01:18:47.860
And I was like, yeah, I wrote a book. So I wasn't a good witness at that point. And what had happened
01:18:52.780
to me wasn't even so bad compared to what had happened to other women. So I didn't have to test if I
01:18:58.820
also had a newborn infant and was breastfeeding and I did not want to have to go to Brooklyn and
01:19:04.280
testify and see that motherfucker's face. Did you ever get the chance to like have the
01:19:09.200
come to Jesus moment with Lauren, like friend to friend? No, I wish I had. The closest we've had
01:19:16.500
is she wrote a letter just before her conviction, a very heartfelt apology, which I totally believe
01:19:24.960
she's seems to have completely woken up, takes full responsibility for what she was going for,
01:19:30.640
how she was able to maintain the cognitive dissonance and, you know, basically lied to me to
01:19:36.200
bring it, bring me into this thing. So she could be in Keith's good graces. Her testimony did put the
01:19:41.460
nail in the coffin for Keith. Yeah. Her testimony meant that I didn't have to testify. And yeah, it was
01:19:46.700
the final straw for the prosecution. What specifically do you remember? Like what, what was the crux of what
01:19:50.100
she said that was so damning for him? Oof. Um, I think she laid out his psychology pretty well.
01:19:57.740
Yeah. And, and just how specifically I'd have to go back and look at the transcripts. It's been a while,
01:20:02.700
but I think specifically how he mastermind the whole thing and how it was like that from the beginning,
01:20:08.920
not just with Doss, but this is the world that he created. And that's, um, I don't know legally what
01:20:16.300
it was that, that Ford, like why she was the star witness. Exactly. But, um, she knew all the
01:20:22.860
bodies. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember when we did our NBC primetime
01:20:28.580
special on this, a separate show. Um, we got into, he has this long history of being a pyramid scheme
01:20:34.000
guy, a failed businessman. Like this was not his first fraud or attempted fraud. He'd had actually a
01:20:41.080
couple before this. He was a con man. Yep. A hundred percent. Yep. Yeah. He, he, he'd been
01:20:48.360
caught. And then of course, when we heard about that story, he spun that, that, you know, he was
01:20:53.120
a threat to the government and they had to shut him down. And of course, that's what happens when
01:20:57.060
you teach ethics in the world, you know, he was good at getting, he had a lot of good people advocating
01:21:03.120
for him. So Lauren said that again, jail too. Didn't, didn't she, or she, she got three years
01:21:08.120
probation. Probation. Probation. Yeah. Oh, and just to wrap up. Yeah. Sorry. That overlap that
01:21:15.480
what, what you asked earlier, I, I've been begging my lawyers to be able to have, um, um, you know,
01:21:21.560
heart to heart or zoom or see her, but, um, until there's a civil case still, until that's wrapped up,
01:21:27.100
we're not allowed to communicate, but I hope that one day we will don't know if we'll ever be best
01:21:31.480
friends again, but I, I'd love to just close that chapter with her personally. Please give us a
01:21:36.980
heads up when that's going to happen because we will listen to, and, uh, we'll definitely talk
01:21:41.060
about it here on the show. Um, so she gets probation. Alison Mack, the small veil actress
01:21:46.240
actually got, I think she got, uh, three years in jail. She served two. She's out now. If my math
01:21:52.400
is correct. Yes. Uh, Claire Bronfman got sentenced to actual jail time a year. Did she get a year?
01:21:59.920
She got triple the maximum sentence. She's still in jail. Triple the minimum sentence. She's still in
01:22:04.820
jail. She'll be in jail, I think till 2025. And she just got moved to a halfway house. I think
01:22:10.000
like two, three weeks ago in the Bronx or the queen or Queens far, far way away from Fiji. Um,
01:22:18.980
so there's been actual accountability. There's been actual punishment for those involved. And then Keith
01:22:23.800
in jail for the rest of his life. Plus the probation, as you point out at the end. So where does that
01:22:29.900
leave you guys, right? You, you tamed the tiger. Like you got it. It happened. He, the NXIVM is
01:22:37.020
done. It's been exposed and he's in jail and all of his enablers are in jail. You've come out publicly.
01:22:43.740
The world knows. So what happens to you after that? There's a lot of therapy, a lot of time in
01:22:51.120
nature. Uh, COVID was actually a wonderful heat. It was a blessing for us actually to pause and just go
01:22:58.260
for hikes and make pancakes and be with our family. Sorry. Oh, we have a beautiful family.
01:23:08.080
Um, and we had time to enjoy it. We'd been in the group for so long and then fighting to expose the
01:23:15.640
group for so long. We hadn't actually had a break and that was, um, much need to break.
01:23:20.800
Um, and then, um, the HBO documentary came out in COVID and then our lives blew up again in a very
01:23:28.000
strange and, and also very meaningful way to be, um, to have people reach out to us and, and say,
01:23:34.060
holy shit, I didn't realize I was in a cult or in a, in a course of, or abusive relationship until I
01:23:39.660
saw the vow and like thousands of messages and letters. And, uh, because it was COVID and we'd stopped
01:23:45.700
acting, we decided to start a little podcast, uh, to keep the conversations going.
01:23:51.260
Well, we had someone reach out to us whose birthday it is today. Actually, our, our, our associate
01:23:55.980
producer, Jess Tardy wrote us, uh, an email and said, you guys should do a podcast and laid out
01:24:01.760
a season for us. Call it a little bit culty, call it this. And I was in the inertia of no,
01:24:05.920
I was done having my personal life becoming other people's entertainment. It was kind of my reluctance
01:24:10.720
to be a part of a documentary in the first place. Um, and Sarah was kind of like, well,
01:24:15.500
maybe. And then we spoke to someone else about it. Citizens of sound or ex evangelical Christians
01:24:21.560
also reached out to us. So those two people kind of came together and sort of laid out this path
01:24:26.560
for a podcast. And we, you know, we love talking about it and it was a healing, like another,
01:24:30.900
another, other people that we know needed to go not talk about it. And for us talking about it was
01:24:36.380
very cathartic and helping others see the red flags and heal was our recovery. So that's, that's
01:24:43.760
been our recovery. And, um, I wrote a memoir to that encompasses my time in the book, but now we're
01:24:50.280
working on a, a, a more of a part two of everything we've learned since the podcast, kind of a pay
01:24:56.380
it forward to all the experts who've helped us. And serendipitously, a lot of the, Oh, I'm sorry.
01:25:02.460
So I said again, I was just saying, I'm sure it's going to change like what you, what you've
01:25:06.960
learned and you're going to change. I'm still pretty close to it all. Oh yeah. I mean, that's
01:25:11.600
the thing. When I look back at the memoir, I was like that. I did not, I was still healing. I was
01:25:16.400
only a year out when I decided to write that, which it was in many ways was a draft, a draft of
01:25:21.960
an understanding. I know so much more about cults and coercion and narcissism and gaslighting and
01:25:28.100
all of these things that have become such a huge part of the zeitgeist now, uh, and
01:25:33.120
serendipitously, a lot of friends talk about this and their dating partners. I think this could be
01:25:36.880
helpful. Yeah. Well, we had episodes on that. Go ahead. Nippy. I was going to say, you know,
01:25:43.280
serendipitously, as we've educated ourselves on what goes on in cults, you know, a lot of the
01:25:49.540
parallels that go on there going on, you know, everywhere you look for, you know, whether it be
01:25:54.420
in politics, whether it be, you know, with the vaccine, with all, you know, there's not any real
01:25:59.560
field that's not immune to what these abuses of power look like and sound like. So putting language
01:26:04.740
to it has been, uh, educational and it's also been, you know, a really important, um, journey for us
01:26:13.560
because we're running into it in our day-to-day lives. And, you know, I want my kids to know what
01:26:16.980
this looks like and sounds like, and I want other people to know what it looks like and sounds like.
01:26:20.700
And I think if people are armed with this education, armed with this language, they can walk into
01:26:24.920
situations and point it out in real time. So when you're faced with something like in your situation
01:26:30.100
or other people's situations, they can go, Oh, that's just like this, just like this. And it can
01:26:35.000
at least attempt to have a civil discourse about it. And when the flat red flags come up, they'll know
01:26:39.720
what they're looking at so they can make an informed decision. It's a way of inoculating yourself
01:26:45.300
to be informed and to recognize these warning signs and just know when it comes to you, whether
01:26:50.700
it's in a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a business, an employer, or a real live cult that you may have
01:26:57.740
inadvertently fallen into. Thank you both so much for coming on and telling this story again. I know
01:27:03.860
it wasn't easy, but I really hope you've done some good here too. I know that you have, and I hope
01:27:08.660
you feel okay about it. Well, thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you so much, Megan. Maybe one day you'll
01:27:14.880
come and tell us your full Fox News story on our podcast. Yeah. I'll come on a little bit culty.
01:27:20.640
Yeah. I've got a couple of folks. Fox News, a little bit culty. Oh, I would die. I'd be happy
01:27:26.400
to. The more I learned, the more I'm like, Oh my God. Yeah. There was no Kool-Aid, but we were one
01:27:32.280
step away. Lots of love. There's a water cooler. That's right. Good luck with it. I'm glad we got to
01:27:39.660
clear up the misunderstanding from six years ago. Oh, there wasn't even a misunderstanding. This is
01:27:45.200
my own deranged thinking. So thank you for helping me learn to be better. See, there you go. Still
01:27:49.880
empowering other women. Wow. What a story. Thanks so much to all of you for joining me today. I want
01:27:56.100
to tell you tomorrow we conclude fraud week with my own story. Yes, I have a story that not only fits
01:28:07.620
the theme of our true crime week, it could have been the centerpiece of it. Arguably it is. I think
01:28:14.320
you're really going to enjoy hearing this. I have never told this story before. And let's just say we
01:28:21.200
went all out for you so that you could experience it in the same way I did. We'll see you then.
01:28:30.280
Thanks for listening to the Megan Kelly show. No BS, no agenda, and no fear.